12 Days of Giving Day 3: Your Presence Is Enough: Rethinking Holiday Gifts & Money

What happens when your generosity becomes the very thing that threatens your future?

In this 12 Days of Giving episode, I sit down with therapist and member of the NoBS Collective, Rachel Duncan, to unpack a story that honestly describes way too many people: late 50s, single, big heart, strong friend group, steady nonprofit job — and quietly terrified that retirement might not be possible because she gives so much away. Not to institutions. To people. To friends. To every GoFundMe, every “I saw this and thought of you” moment.

Rachel walks us through an amalgam of clients who live this reality: the friend who always picks up the tab, drops off the $50 candle, buys gifts nobody asked for, and then goes home worried about the future. We dig into where that pattern really starts — teenage years, money as social capital, using spending to feel “safe” in relationships — and how it gets locked in when nobody ever talks about money honestly.

We also talk about the shadow side of generosity: people who love to give but damn near refuse to receive. The discomfort of being on the other side of a big gift. The awkward “you didn’t have to do that” text. The pressure, the unspoken expectations, and the reality that a lot of us already have too much stuff and not enough real connection.

Then we flip the script. Rachel shows how her clients shift from “I have to buy everyone something” to “my presence actually is enough”. We go into handmade gifts, small creative expressions, experience-based giving, and, honestly, the power of just showing up. No performance. No price tag. Just you.

If you’re the generous one in your circle — the giver, the fixer, the one who quietly worries about money while still swiping your card — this episode is your wake-up call and your permission slip. You’re allowed to change how you give without changing who you are.

🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/CFiYwlaPibM

This is part of our 12 Days of Giving series (December 12–23), where every day we tackle the emotional, psychological, and financial side of money during the holidays. No fluff. No guilt trips. Just truth, tools, and stories that sound a lot like your life.

If this hit home, drop a comment. Tell me where you're feeling it most. I read every single one.

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