189: Natural Healing Show with Catherine Carrigan - Episode 189

0:00Welcome to the Nachahel show! Keeping Nachahel show! Hello! You are listening to the Natural Healing Show for UK Health Radio. My name is Catherine Kuregen, medical intuitive healer, Amazon Number One bestselling author. You can find out more about me and my work at castrunkuregen.com and at limitedenergynow.com. While you're there, definitely sign up for my newsletter so you can learn even more about how you can heal yourself naturally. And my newsletter is now available on Substack. Now our guest today is Jerry Portnoy. Jerry Portnoy is a yoga teacher and author

1:00in from the San Diego area. You can find out more about Jerry Portnoy and her wonderful work at her website, jurieportnoy.com. Welcome, Jerry Portnoy. Oh thank you so much! It's such an honor to be here. So Jerry Portnoy, we're going to be talking about your new book, Embodied Everyday Awakening. A guide to spiritual transformation in the midst of everyday life. So first of all, what is awakening? What does that mean? Right, that's such a great question because awakening means different things to different people. So awakening means I have an awareness of something that I didn't have an awareness of before. So one type of awakening could be all the sun I noticed my hips on the chair. Or all the sun I noticed my breath. But wait a minute, my breath was already here. I just wasn't noticing it. So I'd become aware of something I wasn't aware of a moment ago.

2:06And so awakening always happens in the present moment right now. When I talk about awakening or in the spiritual context when we talk about a spiritual awakening, it's often a reference instead of to something more visible. It's a reference to kind of a background field, a background field of inner alcanus, a background field that feels like home, a background field of stillness and peace. That's not obvious. It's not as obvious even as my breath or as my hips on the chair. But in a similar way, it's I've become aware of something I wasn't aware of before. And here's a key piece of it. I've become aware of something that's already here. Now, Jerry Portner, you and I are both in addition to being both authors. We're also both yoga teachers.

3:13I said this recording, this is my 33rd year teaching yoga at age 67. I still teach yoga six to nine times a week. You are a yoga teacher. What kind of yoga do you practice and teach? Well, first congratulations and what a service to the world that is. I teach a general form of hatha yoga, which as you know is movement yoga, meaning we're doing poses like downward dog. Warrior two. I have roots in a style of alignment based yoga called anusara yoga. So that I also teach with that influence. Yeah, I have a background in a stonga yoga, but I don't really teach from that background. Although that has really informed my own practice and my great love of yoga.

4:17Yes, and at this point, most of us who have taught for a while have studied many different styles of yoga. Exactly. You are a yoga teacher and author. How did you first get interested into about spiritual awakening? Yeah, thanks for asking that. It's really hard to pinpoint. I've been thinking about that. Like when's that first time? I would say in a really cognitive way, where I'm aware that all the sun I'm looking for something, I would say that that would be a turning point when I was in college. So I was at the university at the time I was pre-med and I was really stressed. And it was before we had all this information on stress. So it was just I really didn't know why I was

5:17feeling so kind of run down and unfulfilled, I would say. And then I signed up for a martial arts class. It was actually a karate class. And in that class, I think it was a very first class. The master teacher just had a sit right on the gym floor. And he just said, cross your legs, close your eyes. Notice your breath. And then I can't remember exactly this was eons ago. But basically it was something like, and notice the space around you, around your breath. And all of a sudden, I just started to feel this greater peace and well-being. And it was a miracle. I thought, wow, what was that? You know, it's not something anyone was teaching me about in any of my college classes. So

6:18that would have been my first experience. And it just opened up a curiosity. And then I got curious like, well, why do I feel it when I'm in class with my teacher, master Francis? And why don't I feel it, you know, when I go to my calculus class? Like what's happening? And so that's that was my first. I would say gateway into spiritual awakening that it showed me there's something else here that feels like home. And I just became curious, how can I be more home in myself? Now, Jerry, partner, if someone is listening to this broadcast and we're thinking about our listeners, and they're going through a spiritual awakening, what if someone is going through a spiritual awakening, what are some of the symptoms they might be experiencing? Yeah, well, first I'd like to say that there are all kinds of symptoms. So people might be

7:20experiencing symptoms. I don't mention. So you can trust yourself. If you think you're going through a spiritual awakening, it very may well be that that's what's happening for you. Many people enter the gateway of spiritual awakening through feeling some kind of dissatisfaction. And they might not be able to name it that way. They might not come up to me and say, wow, Jerry, I'm feeling really dissatisfied. But it might show up in terms of some kind of addiction. It could be an addiction to the internet. It could be an addiction to drugs or alcohol. It could be a behavior addiction, like addictions to socks or gambling. So there's all kinds of ways it shows up that there's some kind of inner dissatisfaction that's being, you know, it's the brilliance of our being that we will try to get out of suffering. So one of the ways to get out of suffering is we find something

8:27that brings us relief. And then we keep doing that. And then that ultimately becomes its own like new flavor of suffering at some point. So often spiritual awakening shows up for many people as they've kind of hit the end of some kind of addictive behavior. And they're starting to wonder like, what's life really about? Why am I here? Who am I? And you know, I think it was the in the Buddha's four noble truths. I think his first truth was something about life is suffering. You know, he said it in his own way. But often the spiritual journey begins when people start to recognize that they're suffering. So then sometimes like for me when I went to that karate class, I opened to something different where I wasn't suffering and the contrast was so dramatic.

9:28But often the spiritual journey just begins with the recognition in so many different ways of there must be something more. This can't be all that there is to life. So some flavor could be really mild or could be very, very intense and strong. That there's something wrong, something wrong with me or something wrong with life. Life shouldn't be this way. Yeah. And again, a number of different ways, all the symptoms that that shows up as. But basically symptoms of somehow fighting life and striving and overdoing. Interesting. So Jerry, court nor I've published myself 10 books. My 10th book is called Reading the Soul. In that book, I talk about when I'm doing a medical intuitive reading, when I read the soul level of an individual, what I'm looking for and what I'm

10:34looking at, what I'm literally reading. And one of the first things I look at is where where person is in their spiritual journey. So unconscious, like when you're born, you're basically unconscious. And by unconscious, that means that you're not really aware that you're a soul. And then the second stage is what I call awakening and also what you're calling awakening. And so we're exploring the topic of what is awakening. So in my view, when you're awakening, you're realizing, okay, I'm actually a soul. So my view of awakening is realization that you are actually a soul who has a spiritual purpose here on earth. And so you're realizing that you're part of something bigger, something, something even more meaningful. And then finally, I say that you're conscious. And when you're conscious, you're aware that you're a soul, you're aware of what your soul purpose is,

11:34and you're on the path to fulfilling that. And then interesting, like what you're talking about, I asked you, what are the symptoms of awakening? I talk in my book about what I call a breakdown to a breakthrough. So many of us, when we're born, we go through the rituals of the tribe. So if you wear hats to church or don't eat fish on Friday or fast on Saturdays, those are traditions of your tribe, and they may be extremely helpful for you. But when you come to a breakdown to a breakthrough, then everything that you've learned, it's almost like it just doesn't work anymore. And you have to reach through and break through to a bigger understanding. And often at that point, we reach for new tools. And those tools may be different for everybody. So for one person, it may be, you begin a meditation practice. For another person, it may be you start a new career or get a divorce

12:36and start a new phase of your life. But that breakdown to a breakthrough is really an important part of everybody's spiritual awakening. It can often be extremely uncomfortable. You mentioned addiction, so it could be facing something extremely unpleasant or uncomfortable about yourself that you have to face and heal in order to break through to the other side. But again, going back to awakening, when you realize you're a soul, what are the symptoms that people might feel or notice in their life or their awareness when they realize they're a soul? Yeah, so I would say that's such a beautiful framework. Thank you for sharing that. And I would say from the way I've experienced awakening, it's very similar like this unconscious. I would say even infants are actually unconscious, but they are awake as consciousness itself, as the fundamental field of okness.

13:42And they have this body. So when they're more tuned to the field, it's like, oh, being around babies, best thing ever, because we feel that transmission, we feel that they're tuned, they're more in that spaciousness. And then of course, they also have a body and then they land in their body and they're uncomfortable. But it's like unconscious, unconscious identity as consciousness, as fundamental consciousness. And then at some point in the journey, as you just talked about so beautifully, there's this recognition of like some kind of dissatisfaction, something doesn't feel right. And then people don't actually realize that. It's like unconscious, but it's propelling them in life. So they're being moved by dissatisfaction, they're getting a new job, they're getting a new relationship. They're trying to get a bigger house, so they're trying to get

14:43this or that. But it's this, there's unconsciousness about the suffering. And then there's this like awakening phase to the suffering. I'm aware I'm suffering. And that begins this conscious journey. Now I'm conscious. I'm aware. I'm aware of how much life hurts. I'm aware of my body. And I'm aware of what I'm doing. And then the fourth phase would be moving from that kind of what you're phrasing as breakdown to breakthrough. Then I'm aware in that breakdown, that breakdown of living unconsciously, really, to this breakthrough of waking up to again, a larger identity as consciousness itself. But the embodied awakening is a lot what you're calling soul. So as this larger field connected to all of life, now consciously connected. And in my body, I can begin to

15:53serve life, all of life from this larger field of conscious connection. And then my kind of my soul gifts or what I'm here to do become the natural thing I'm drawn to do. And it's really a discovery like a whole new phase of life for some people. It doesn't look all that much different from what they were doing. But for some people, it means a complete 180 shift of their life. But yeah, this kind of larger, more invisible realm, the way it interfaces with this very physical uniqueness of you and me and every person. How does that light want to live in life? So it really becomes something that benefits the individual awakening, but also all their relationships and the wholeness of life itself. So it actually kind of brings a greater health to our whole culture and our whole planet. Beautiful. And I would add to that, I think that during

16:59the awakening process, then instead of having an awareness of only me, or it's all about me, I, I, I, me, me, me, you begin to, as you awaken, you begin to think and are consciously aware of the we and the we could be my family, my community, my country, my planet, my garden. And then as you become, as you awaken, you, you become conscious of the all and you become conscious that whatever I put out into the universe is actually what's coming back. And I know for myself, there have been times, it's almost like the veil was lifted for a moment. And it's like, wow, this is the universe supporting me. And so I think that part of the awakening process, you're, you're talking about the suffering and dissatisfaction. But I think also my observation of people's

18:02awakening process is that they become aware of the support, the unconditional love, like the universe has your back. And the universe is a friendly place. Yeah, I would agree. I would say that there is a phase like it's a progression from a more like I'm a victim of life and it's hard and I'm suffering to ultimately life is caring for me. And ultimately to I am life, like I am not separate from life, like this, this great spiritual awakening, this benevolence of life, this love that is me. At this more essential level. And absolutely what you're speaking to from this more egoic, like a separate sense of self, which is what creates the suffering in the first place.

19:04You know, I'm a separate sense of self struggling against this outer world, other people that the ache of separation, in awakening as that, that identity relaxes. There is a natural next level in the relational field with others in the we space. And then because fundamental consciousness is not limited, it's unlimited as we identify with that dimension of ourselves. We're naturally more connected to connected to is almost like even not the right word because that implies there's a like, oh, this universe and me and now I'm connecting to it. It's almost like there's a non-separateness, a distinction. There's definitely a universe and there's me. There's a tree in there's me. I don't think on the tree. But there's a seamless confluence of connection

20:08in this field of love. So yes, absolutely. It's a whole other way of living. And it's not just the way of living that the mind, like not just a better idea or the next affirmation, which can be helpful on the journey absolutely to have a next better idea. Fantastic. But this is actually the awakening. We wake up to something. Yeah, I love that you mentioned the we space because that's so. And then the all that those are such really beautiful dimensions that that is the awakening. Suffering is a stage of awakening to wake up to I'm suffering, but it is not the end just to be clear. So I love that you brought all that in. Thank you. And with that, let's take a break and listen to a message from one of our commercial sponsors here at UK Health Radio. My name is

21:08Catherine Carigan, medical intuitive healer, Amazon number one, bestselling author. We're listening to Jerry Portnone, yoga teacher and author of embodied everyday awakening. We'll be right back. Jerry Portnone, your book is called embodied everyday awakening. You describe awakening not as escaping life, but as awakening within everyday life. What do you mean by that? Well, initially, when I just described what got me into awakening, and I said, oh, I was in a karate class,

22:09and we were sitting on the floor, we were meditating, right? The instruction was close your eyes. And as soon as I close my eyes, initially, I felt my body, but then I didn't feel my body, and I just felt the space. And it felt amazing. But as I mentioned, when I opened my eyes, and I went to calculus class next, like whatever that piece was, it seemed like it was gone. So like that's one example, like meditating, and then wow, I'm at peace. I know who I am, I'm connected, and then it seems to be gone. So that's a stage of awakening. It's like a glimpse. You get a glimpse, I got a glimpse of something else that started me on the path, and allowed me to know that there's something more that's real. It's real. And initially, I thought the only place I could find that was with my eyes closed, meditating, that I had to kind of go away from life. Because obviously,

23:15look around life is hard. I don't see this piece right here when I read the newspaper. So but awakening in everyday life, it is this next move of awakening that happens naturally. So initially, even for the ancient yogis, if we go way back and we read about these yogis, they came into meditation, and they basically left this world to find, quote unquote, another world. And so there were two. There was this piece I find in meditation, and then there's this like, now I'm back here, and life is hard. But this embodied awakening, which is just the next, it's the next evolutionary movement of awakening. It's not something we may cap in, but it's that through the body, right here in life, eyes open, walking through the grocery store, driving on the freeway, having a difficult conversation with our children or our friends, that this field of awakening,

24:22this larger identity of who we are is right here. It's always here, so that I can start to tune in to this in the midst of life as a resource, as an essential resource for living a full human life. It's almost like our true humanity depends on realizing essentially who we really are in life. So we can respond the way we long to respond. So we can be the people we long to be. Not because we're trying harder, but because we've reconnected to a place of peace and well-being as our feet are right here on the earth, as we're walking through our everyday life with a messy challenges and delightful and beautiful moments, both. Now, Jerry Portner, here we are at the Natural Healing Show for UK Health Radio. And we talked, I talked about my book reading the

25:23Soul and the Three Faces Unconscious Awakening and Conscious. In your opinion, as the author of and body-debri day awakening, what are the health benefits of awakening? Once we realized that we're part of the all, how does that benefit us? Mind, body or spirit? Right, I would say it is, it is the great elixir, right? That it is actually all healing on whatever level we find it is so beautiful. And there are so many different ways to do that. So this is not the only way. However, this is the foundation of all else. So in my experience, it creates like mentally, it helps relax that default mode network. That's always looking around for danger, the mind that's always thinking, this defensive structure that puts us at war with each other. So it creates more of like a relaxation and

26:28a parasympathetic reset for the nervous system. So when people's nervous system resets into parasympathetic because they feel more at home in themselves, their relationship softens or the health of the relational field becomes better, their physical health becomes better because when I'm when I'm in the first mode of life and I'm pushing all the time, that is a, it's like I'm using an energy source that's limited. My DNA or my, my DNA, but my mitochondria, the energy source of my cells are ultimately going to wear down from overuse like this whole sympathetic stress response. So as I wake up and find that I'm at home, that I'm relaxed, that I don't have to be in that striving defensive hamster wheel movement. Physically my body heals, I feel more energy, I'm not burnt out.

27:39Emotionally, awakening brings us into this larger field, it's like this larger ocean of consciousness where yes, I'm going to have these difficult emotions, I'm going to read the paper and I'm going to feel grief over something awful that's happening and that's a natural response, right? I want to feel happiness over something awful happening, but to have more space for all the emotions to flow without being stuck. So I would say that, you know, it's like that's what really creates unhealth is when we get stuck. When the mind gets fixated, when the body doesn't have enough energy to keep moving and circulating. So, you know, consciousness allows our energy to flow more. So we're just really more in the flow of health on all levels, physical, emotional, mental, and this level of health that we don't really usually see, although it's so beautiful because

28:40you've been talking about it and you wrote a book about it, but like we could call it spiritual health also that I know I belong, that I know I'm a part of something greater that there's an essential goodness that as you said so beautifully like the universe has my back, right? Like this, it just resets the whole like very physical organism into a whole new rhythm of health. Beautiful. So, Jury Portner, so far we've been talking about what is awakening, your book is called Embodied Everyday Awakening. What do you mean by Embodied Awakening? Embodied a simple way to describe that might be there's notion of a movement from living in the thinking mind. I'm thinking about life to dropping down as I open today to feel the breath.

29:48So right now when I feel my breath it's like that's a moment of embodiment. It's a moment of coming home to my body and if I put like a hand on where I feel my breath now I can feel my hand and I can feel my breath and I start to feel my hips maybe and even my feet on the ground. But wait a minute my feet were already on the ground they were already on the ground, but the embodiment is it's like I've moved out of the room of my mind that is the human habit right now like we've been trained we've been conditioned to live here and do that very well. But this embodiment means I take awareness that's usually here on the train of my thought and I drop it down to start to sense and feel my body and it really helps if I start with something neutral as we talk about in the yoga tradition like the breath. So if I come into the body and I

30:55feel my breath or I come into the body and I feel my feet on the earth we could call these resources embodiment resources and then as I come into the body embodiment also includes I'm going to meet the painful places in my body and so awakening also includes making space for that. So then I can start to respond to that if my back hurts and I'm in my body and I notice that I can then start doing yoga I can start doing chigong I can start moving more I can actually start taking care of this sacred temple that houses our consciousness that is really consciousness itself in form. So embodiment is living instead of just identifying with my thought with what I think sort of like a Descartes I think therefore I am and it's more I feel I feel therefore I am

32:02becoming more and more embodied and it's you know this gift of awakening to the field of fundamental consciousness allows for embodiment to feel more joyful to feel more beautiful. Wonderful. Now I remember years ago listening to a lecture by Candace Perth and Candace Perth was a scientist she was the co-discoverer of endorphins and she made a very interesting comment she said and I mean actually say it twice she said if you want to understand what's going on in your unconscious mind just look down at your body. So if you want to understand what's going on with your unconscious mind just look down at your body. So as a medical intuitive healer one of the fundamental premises of my work is that consciousness actually exists in the body and every organ every muscle every fiber of your physical body is related to an energy system

33:11in yourself. Emotions, thoughts and even what's going on with you at the sole level. So to put it another way your physical body is a reflection of your consciousness. Just like if you were looking at a lake and saw your reflection in the water your physical body is and what's showing up in your physical body is a reflection of your consciousness. So with that let's take a break and listen to a message from one of our commercial sponsors here at UK Health Radio. My name is Catherine Kerrigan, Medical Intuitive Healer and we're listening to jury-portnory author of Embodied Everyday Awakening. We'll be right back. The

34:12UK Health Radio. This station that makes you feel good. Jury-portnory in your book you talk about something you refer to as fundamental consciousness and what is fundamental consciousness? Fundamental consciousness is that which is most fundamental to all of life. So if we trace back to the Big Bang the scientists tell us that out of nothing came something that became everything that became our planet, our solar system, the giraffes in Africa, our favorite dog, the music of Bach and ourselves. So out of nothing, out of nothing is what science says came something that became everything. We call that the Big Bang. And fundamental consciousness then is

35:19that consciousness which was already present which science calls nothing, the nothingness, out of which something came. And so it's that essence out of which the first particles matter, antimatter came and there was more matter than antimatter and it went on to the next stage of development. So our evolutionary development of our universe emanates from fundamental consciousness. And you know the story that science tells us is a star T-Mit which would have been made of fundamental consciousness, exploded and became our solar system and our earth. So we come from the stars from this ancient star T-Mit that exploded and then gases and matter coalescing into earth and life evolving. So all of this could call it all of creation emanates from

36:22fundamental consciousness. Okay so we're talking today about what is awakening and what is embodied awakening. In your opinion what are the biggest obstacles people face from their ego in waking up to the awareness of we and all and that we're all part of something greater the one right. Right so it relates back to this fundamental consciousness that we already are. So we already are that and we are that in form because consciousness has evolved through 14 billion years into form into the form of me and you and what's obvious is I'm a form. I'm this separate self and so the embodied awakening is as I go into my body I can start. My body is almost like a um oh it becomes like an instrument for registering this other dimension of myself. This holy sacred part connected to the all and then from here from being at home in my

37:30body I can also see this background field and feel this background field that connects me to you right now whether we're talking or not because you're of that same essence the trees are of that same essence the stars. So the embodiment helps helps me wake up beyond ego. Ego is really just the thinking mind that looks and says I'm separate you know it's like when a baby moves from unconscious I'm everything to you know adults keep telling me I'm separate. The culture keeps telling me I'm separate. We like take on this false identity in yoga tradition it's one of the clasias the afflictions of mine. Asmita I am I am separate I grasp or pleasure or I push away discomfort but the ego relaxes and awakening it's almost like it was just a defensive structure we learned it relaxes

38:35and we open again as fundamental consciousness living as a body a body never seen before a soul never lived before a light that's never been here on earth before in this unique form. So Jerry Portner what are a few simple ways that people can start living and unbodied awakening in every day life? One simple way to live more of an embodied awakening in everyday life would be as you walk through life to feel your feet on the ground and another way to live a more embodied awakening would be to feel your breath in your body before you start to speak to someone else. Often we're not we could use the word present we're not present because we're living up here we're thinking

39:37in instead of again feeling so whatever I can do to come into my body sometimes it's a hand on my heart hmm that felt sense of just my hand on my heart it not only connects me to my body which it does but it also kind of softens something why is it that I'm not aware of fundamental consciousness that larger field that I am every moment of life it's because like there's this tensing against it so just the hand on the heart sometimes can just soften that edge of separation and all the sudden I'm feeling more embodied but I'm also feeling more connected it reminds me of the heart like the heart that connects to other humans but if I'm just in my head I'm missing all this other all these other dimensions of who I am beautiful now Jerry Portanoi my question is how

40:43do we avoid spiritual ego so we talk about ego and in our culture especially in the spiritual business such as the yoga world or you know workshops many people set themselves up like I'm in lightens I you know I've got it all figured out and they pretend to put themselves on a stage above everyone else whereas my understanding is that as we are awakening and as we're conscious we're conscious that we're all on this journey together how do we avoid the trap of the spiritual ego a spiritual well like a spiritual ego is almost like an oxymoron in a scent yeah anyways it's there's it doesn't kind of go together because the spiritual awakening itself wakes us up

41:45to this like your presence in this field of connectedness right on this level we are all one we are all the same and then there is a hierarchy also which is like if I'm going to have a surgery I would like a surgeon that went to med school and is trained and has certain skills and awarenesses other than everybody else who's also at one with me so there's like a both hand but in the true awakening it's just whatever it is whether I'm a surgeon or I'm a spiritual teacher or I'm you know a parent that they're all you know it doesn't put us above creation in any way it actually were a part of creation that has a certain you know maybe like as a yoga teacher you have a certain ability to teach yoga but that doesn't like put one above creation it just like highlights the

42:51uniqueness but underlying it is our sameness so yeah so when I'm you know when when there are people touting themselves as above everybody else because they're awake yeah that's not really how I've experienced it I've actually experienced almost like the opposite it's very humbling because it's like oh my gosh I'm a part of this great creation I'm a part of this great creation has been ongoing for so long and I have come into the world and you have come into the world and everybody else what a miracle to be here so there's almost like a humble humbleness that comes with awakening to the grandeur of what all of us are who all of us are so jury partner final question for our audience what one thing do you really want people to understand about embodied everyday awakening I would like

43:56everyone to understand that this is just the next and here's the keyword natural stage of our human development it's a stage that hasn't been talked about as much as other stages but it's so beautiful that you've written books about it that I wrote a book about it that we have so many people nowadays awake and talking about it but it's the next natural stage to your listeners of of your own awakening that this is your birthright to wake up and know who you are and that you're already on your journey you're already on your journey each step you're making is part of your great awakening journey beautiful message you've been listening to the natural healing show for UK health radio my name is Catherine Kyrakin medical intuitive healer Amazon number when bestselling author you can find out more about me

44:57at casthrankyragan.com and unlimitedenergynow.com while you're there definitely sign up for my newsletter which is now available on substack our guest today jury portnory yoga teacher author of embodied everyday awakening and you can find out more about jury partner and her wonderful work at jerry.nour.com and remember when you let go of your illusion of separateness and connect and feel your divine connection to all that is you can experience healing naturally thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next time thank you for listening to the natra healing show keep it natra with the natra healing show