2 Maccabees Chapter 9: Bible Study by Atheists

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For this is what the sovereign Lord says.

Why do you need prophets to tell people who you are and what you want?

If you can justify everything that the God of the Bible has done,

then you can justify any of your behavior.

A lot of this mentality is trickling into what is now mainstream right-wing Christianity.

I am capable of empathy greater than this God of the Bible.

This is a Bible that they tell kids.

This is the good Lord.

This is the good book.

This is he is fantasizing about murder.

Mass murder.

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Husband!

Wife!

Do you know what we're doing today?

Well, yesterday we read 2nd Macabees chapter 8.

Sure, it's fucked in.

Yeah.

And in that one we had, I think it was Nickanormy.

If somebody had 20,000 troops and then they came after the Jews

and then Judas Macabees was like, let's get 6,000.

We're going to split up into four groups of like 1500

and we're going to whip their ass.

You know why?

Because God heals us.

Yeah, it's about that time.

Yeah.

And so God.

And God helped, apparently, even though there was a whole other accounting

of the same exact fucking story with like little no mention of God.

No mention.

I just feel like that's a big part that would have been mentioned.

Regardless of how, you know, detailed the accounting was like if God's there,

he was going to like God was there, right?

Listen, as an atheist, if God came in, I definitely would include it.

But likewise, likewise, if I was a believer,

I would also definitely include it as a,

don't you want to join our team?

Sure.

Yeah, like, I mean, look, God.

God, God, I'm just saying what if God was one of us?

I mean, right?

Right.

Yeah.

And thought our war with all of us.

I mean, that actually didn't go with what we were saying at all.

No, yeah.

It popped in there.

It did.

I guess.

Anyway, yeah.

So that was second macabees chapter eight.

Sure, fuck was.

Which means that today we're getting into second macadoodles,

chapter nine.

All right, let's do this.

Okey-dokey.

Little Christmas like one of us.

That threw me off.

I know.

What the fuck are you doing?

Your face was like, what is happening?

This is the beginning of the chapter, babe.

I know.

I know.

I just, I'm not a song intro.

I felt like singing it was fun.

Okay.

Sometimes I sing and it's for a bit.

And then it gets cut off.

And I'm like, I wanted to continue.

Yeah.

So you did.

I love singing.

Yeah, I think our fans know too.

It's just fun.

Singing is fun.

Think about it.

Think about how great life would be if it was a musical.

And you had to be like, we got out of toilet paper.

That one show that we watched Shmigadun was a Shmigadun.

Shmigadun.

My God.

It was so good.

Such a fantastic fucking musical show.

It was a good musical show.

It was amazing.

Yeah.

If you haven't seen Shmigadun, you should watch it.

You should watch Shmigadun.

It's sadly ended abruptly, I think.

It did not get picked up for another season.

Right.

Yeah.

And it really should have.

Yeah.

It was fantastic.

So good.

And then there was the gay pirates.

Was that in Shmigadun?

No.

Oh, the gay pirate show.

Yeah, one flag, flag, flag or flag or flag.

That flag means death.

Something like that.

Something like that.

Oh, my God.

That was such a good show.

Yeah.

Okay.

We watched some really crazy shit.

And you know what?

I approved this message.

Yeah.

You know, you really should come to us for advice

on what good trash to watch.

Because we watched some really decent stuff.

Yeah, and Star Trek.

And Star Trek always.

Always Star Trek.

Obviously.

Not that Star Trek isn't good.

Just, you know, we always watch Star Trek.

We always watch Star Trek.

Yeah.

Yeah, which, which for an update.

We're in discovery now.

We just finished season one of discovery.

We did.

We did.

Again, we had seen discovery before.

But it's so long as we see it.

We hardly remembered anything else season one.

No, I halfway through season one.

I was like, I know I saw the first parts were familiar.

I remembered them.

But the whole last half of season one,

I haven't, I don't think I've ever seen it.

Yeah, literally.

I don't think I have felt that way to me too.

Yeah, I think I think maybe we'll watch

like the first half of season one.

And then like there's the break, you know,

and then they're lost season two.

And then it popped us in the season two.

Right.

I don't think we saw the second half of season one

the first time we were.

I think you might be right.

Yeah.

So this was fun.

It was fun because we were like, whoa, that's cool.

Right.

Oh, that's how George O came back.

Yeah, we were very confused about a lot of things

the first time around.

No, it makes so much more sense.

Yeah.

But I'm still confounded why so many people didn't like it.

And I have to think it's because

there was gay people.

And I have to think it's because

there was a black woman as a main cast member.

What the fuck?

So there's the new one coming out.

What is it the the Starfleet Academy?

That's so funny.

You say there's a new one coming out when I'm pretty sure

they're like about to start the second season though

or something like that.

No, yeah, it's pretty.

I don't think that's correct.

It's at least partway through the first season.

I've heard people say they're okay.

The reason I brought it up is because like

Stephen Miller and Elon Musk are bashing it online.

Yes.

Right.

And the joke is that they haven't even been able to watch it yet.

And actually, we watched that guy that you

saw that you were watching that the likes the Star Trek stuff.

Oh, yes, even guys.

And he said you had a preview of it.

But that was from like month or two ago.

Okay, so maybe it's out, but we're not in season two.

No, we're not in season two.

But we're definitely like pretty far

through season one at this point.

Okay, I haven't seen it, but we are definitely

through season one.

And I've only heard bad things from mega adjacent people.

Well, yeah, because it's too progressive.

Which there's a whole thing that Steve Shives has done

more than once about how they missed the whole

fucking point and how the mental fucking pretzel

you have to go through to make yourself

realize that you're not the bad guy or something.

For the record, Steve Shives is somebody that

wife likes that's on YouTube.

And he's brilliant and great.

And he does wonderful commentary on both Star Trek and the news.

And and among other things, I just I think he's brilliant.

I always find it like he covers this in his videos.

But it's always such a weird thing to me that that

mega people don't like Star Trek in the first place.

And then also that they get the wrong message from it.

Yeah, I'm like, wait, what?

And they're like, what show are you fucking watching?

They're like back in my day.

Star Trek wasn't so progressive.

These new thingled like, you know, old man shakes this at cloud.

These new thingled versions of Star Trek.

And I'm like, no, Star Trek was always progressive.

And I don't think that you understand what you were watching.

And you you did not know like the whole kind of like, you know,

I kind of equated to how I how people misinterpret not misinterpret how

they pitch Christianity versus how it's practiced.

Mm hmm.

You know what I mean?

Like there's this whole idea of this loving God and this loving Jesus

figure and all that.

But then in reality, it's something else because they they they practice

something different.

And they think Jesus is too woke in real life.

Sure, but it's it's the same translation to like the same people that talk

about Star Trek.

So that there's this whole break.

There's this whole, you know, not people aren't aren't taking it right or

something.

I don't know.

The right wing is kind of dumb, honestly.

Maybe I'm not taking it right, but I don't think that's true.

But it can't possibly I can't possibly be true because

Starfleet is about diversity and equality and equal rights for all

and our differences make us stronger because we can bring different ideas to the

table that we're here to for unthought of because we couldn't have thought of it.

Talk about socialism.

They don't even have money.

I know.

I mean, come on.

Right?

Yeah, no, they're getting it wrong.

Star Trek has always been progressive and Jesus is loving forgiveness, but they

want to say that Jesus is too woke.

That's not me misunderstanding their religion.

That's them deciding that their fucking religion isn't working for them anymore.

And so they need to redefine it and go old school to be perfectly fair.

Jesus and Christianity is whatever the fuck they want to be because it's just a book

that can be interpreted.

It's so fucking wrong to begin with.

You can interpret it however you want.

No, that's totally true.

And I mean, Jesus is more, Jesus may have started out like this, you know,

back in the, the earliest centuries, right?

Like the zero year and whatever.

Sure.

Like Jesus may have started out as a Middle East concept and then Christianity grew into Europe,

but I'm telling you that Jesus today is totally an American concept because you just don't really,

you hear about like God and the Bible and practicing religion and stuff in other countries,

but Jesus in America is like an entirely different beast.

You may want to walk that back just a little bit.

Jesus is definitely not exclusive to the United States.

The way it is practiced in the United States is definitely different than the rest of the world,

but it is not exclusive to the United States.

I don't, I didn't say Jesus was exclusive to the United States.

I said, Jesus as a very like leader of the religion kind of thing is very much an American concept.

Like buddy, Jesus, very American.

Oh, sure.

That's virtualized version of Jesus.

That's what I'm saying.

The way like other countries, they're less like Jesus centric.

They're more just like, yeah, I'm a Christian.

Yeah, I go to church.

Yeah, I practice Christianity.

But if they talk about Jesus at all, it's Christ.

Like, you know, I don't know.

It just feels like they're they're talking about a different guy than the American here next door.

Like, I don't know.

It's definitely different here.

It is based on our talks with a lot of people that are not from here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

America definitely, they read everything wrong.

The right wing does anyways.

We have a lot of propaganda here.

So he sure as fuck do.

Yeah.

Anyways, second Macadoodle chapter nine.

We started doing.

Yeah, we did.

We're a we're reading a chapter.

Yeah, we're like, what, 10 minutes in.

We are.

Yeah, that's funny.

Okay, let's do it.

Ready?

I'm ready.

Okay, now about that time.

About that time.

Right about that time.

Antiochus retreated in order.

No, let me re re do that.

Oh, you're on a re okay.

Okay, yeah, about that time.

Antiochus retreated in disorder from the region of Persia.

Okay, disorder disorder disorder disorder.

Apparently wife singing tonight.

No, that was that was good though.

Yeah, I didn't say it wasn't good.

I just he were treated in that song from the region of Persia.

Right.

Okay, yeah, for he had entered into the city called Persepolis.

And he attempted to rob a temple and to control the city.

If you all have not read Persepolis, you really should.

It's such a good graphic novel.

And then we saw the animated version of it later.

I know from your face, you have no idea what I'm talking about.

We loved it.

I'm sure you're right.

It's very good.

Well, there's Persepolis too.

Has recently come out, I believe.

And I want to read it really bad.

I love the first one.

Got it.

Anyways, okay, so he went into Persepolis.

Attempted to rob a temple and to control the city.

Attempted.

Attempted.

Yeah.

Therefore, the multitudes rushed in and the people of the country

turned to defend themselves with weapons.

They're like, fuck no.

And it came to pass.

That antiacus was put to flight by the people of the country

and broke his camp with this grace.

They broke his camp.

Oh, you you see this?

Temperatures?

Boom.

I stepped on it.

I just broke your fucking camp.

What a breaking camp.

No, I know.

I know.

I just think it's funny.

Like I broke your fucking camp.

How you like me now, bitch?

While he was at...

No, hold on.

While he was at Ekbatana.

Ekbatana from Persepolis.

Persepolis.

I think he ran away to Ekbatana.

And then while he was at Ekbatana,

news was brought to him about what had happened

to Nikonor.

So he's running away,

having had his camp broken at Persepolis.

Yeah.

And he's like, fuck me.

I'm fucked.

Nikonor's getting beat up.

And the forces of Timatias.

Being overcome by his anger as you would

when somebody stepped on your tail.

I was going to say,

you wouldn't want to be that messenger.

They're proud of the message.

He planned to make the Jews suffer

for the evil deeds of those who had put him to flight.

Then he was already frying people up in frying pans.

Like, what is he going to do?

How do you how do you up that game?

He is mad.

Okay.

Before he did it with Glee.

He's big mad now.

Now he's big mad.

Okay.

Therefore, with judgment from heaven,

even now accompanying him,

he ordered his charioteer

to drive without ceasing

until he completed the journey

before he arrogantly said this.

I will make Jerusalem a common graveyard

of Jews when I come there.

Okay, I have some things to say.

Okay.

So it says,

therefore, with the judgment from heaven,

even now accompanying him.

So he's like that Yahweh.

He's real pissed at me,

but I'm going to do this anyway.

Let me ask you this.

If you believed in your heart

that a God, not the God,

because it's proven that there was more than one.

I mean, well, yeah,

but these people believed in more than one.

There was more than one God to believe in.

Absolutely.

Okay.

So he's like that Yahweh,

that one God over there.

He's really, really pissed at me

and he's giving me judgment.

But even so,

even though there is literally a God

pissed at me and after me

and fucking my shit up,

I'm still going to do some stuff

that I want to do.

Let me talk about this last time.

I don't think that the other gods

and are in her,

this is written by somebody who is

a follower of Yahweh,

right?

Like this book is written by someone

so they're throwing these things

into the mix when they don't really belong there.

No, I know.

And they're like,

whoa, that guy had a God after him

and he was so,

he shook his fist and defied that God.

I'm like, he wasn't even thinking about that God.

He did not believe in that God.

So of course,

you can't be scared of a thing

you don't believe in.

It's like when people

threaten me with hellfires

and I'm like,

I can't possibly be afraid of that.

I don't believe in it.

So you telling me,

if you don't read this,

you're going to go to hell.

It's like you telling me,

if you don't believe this,

penguins are going to come out of your butthole.

I've had somebody say something like that to me

like seriously to my face

for something stupid.

I don't remember the exact context,

but like I started laughing

because I thought it was a joke

and they were,

and I'm like,

oh,

sorry to offend.

So you really did want me to,

I'm going to go burn in hell now.

All right.

I'm just going to go.

I just want to clear that out.

Cause you know,

I'm just going to go.

Yeah.

Okay. So that was the first thing I wanted to say.

So he's like,

even though this one guy named

Yahweh, this God is after me,

I'm still going to make my charioteer

drive without ceasing.

Okay. So he's got a fucking charioteer.

Yeah.

I just want to stop from

and I appreciate that.

He's got a charioteer.

Yeah.

And he's like,

go bitch.

Don't stop till I say stop.

Right.

And then they just keep going.

Like, yeah,

until they get there.

I guess.

Okay.

Is he riding with him?

Is it like his rubber ride?

Yeah.

He ordered his charioteer

to drive without ceasing

until he completed the journey.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

So dude is like nonstop.

Now is the charioteer like,

is that a horse drawn chariot?

Yeah.

Or is that like a dude

that's pulling him along?

No.

Okay.

So it is a horse,

the poor horsey.

That's why I wanted to get to.

And I think that that's mean.

Just because you're mad,

you make your horse run fast and long.

Maybe it wasn't that far away.

And we don't know.

Well, he made it go

until he completed the journey.

And I don't.

Journey sounds like

more than a couple of miles.

I bet they stopped for a piss break or something.

I bet they did.

Poor horse.

And then the fact that he said,

I will make Jerusalem a common graveyard

of the Jews when I come there.

That is a very strong statement.

Yeah.

And it would make a great line in a movie.

But I don't like that he's like,

fuck all them Jews.

I'm going to kill them.

Like, that's too yucky.

I did not feel comfortable reading that line.

And I just want to put it out there

that that was in the book and not me.

I ain't saying all that.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just to be clear.

Yeah.

Just wanted to make sure everybody knows where I stand.

Mm-hmm.

I'm not saying let's do a genocide.

No, no.

In fact, but right now

that the line that we're having to walk

as a podcast and politics wise

is that Israel seems to be

and really the United States now at this point

with regard to Iran.

Like, okay, look, there's this thing

called the Geneva Convention, right?

I prefer it.

I've heard of it.

Where we decided that assassinating people

not a cool thing to do, right?

Like we don't we don't we're not down with assassinations.

Whether it's via war or a quote-unquote

targeted action.

Right, right.

Whatever the fuck verb or adjective

or noun you want to use.

They just appointed the new Ayatollah

like to replace the one they killed, you know.

And it's a song.

And they immediately within 24 hours

killed his dad and his wife.

I can't know that.

That's awesome.

I love that for nobody.

Target of the assassinations is like

a ploy in this war.

Like, and you can't tell me that this is

fighting terrorists and we're not.

We're, look, we're assassinating

leaders of countries.

That is what we're doing.

And what I don't love is being put in the position

of having to defend bad people.

Right.

Stop it, United States.

Stop it.

And again, again, I'm not,

I'm not trying to defend Iran.

I'm just like, I don't think,

I don't think we're really living up

to the ideal of what it is to be America.

I don't think that Christians

are living up to the ideal of being Christian

and I don't think America is living up

to the ideal of being American.

We just watched Discovery

where Burnham was a.

Oh my God, how relevant.

I literally, I'm getting goosebumps.

I hadn't put that together.

Yeah, it was like the second to last,

or maybe it was the last episode of the season.

No, it was the last episode of the season one.

She stood up to her entire,

the entire federation,

the admiral, but yeah, the entire,

and they were going to do a genocide

on, on the Klingons and she was like,

no, this is not what we are.

And then she's like the,

the very first fucking episode of this show

that's not what she said, but, you know,

she's like, I stood up to my captain

because I thought that taking shortcuts

and, you know, doing something for the greater good

was worth it and y'all stripped me of my fucking,

my rank and my, my membership

in your little federation club.

Like you took away my Starfleet, everything

and you threw me in jail

because you told me that's not how we do.

And because the thing is you were brave.

Yeah, and that's, that's what she went on to say.

Like you know that that's not right

because that's what the rules say

and that's how you treated me.

But now that it's not convenient

because it's, you know, we're losing the war.

Now all of a sudden we forgot our principles.

I don't fucking think so.

And that's just what kills me.

Like we're not even losing the war

and we still don't have principles.

Right.

Like we're like, you know,

speaking of this current day and time,

this conflict that we're part of.

And war with Venezuela.

Well, yeah, we weren't at war with Iran either.

No, I know.

Like it just, whatever.

I mean, it's, it's all stupid.

We're not being very American right now

and we're certainly not being Christian.

Yeah.

And I don't care for it.

I don't care for it, sir.

I'm not here for that.

Obviously.

Obviously.

But the old saying Lord.

All seeing Lord.

The God of Israel.

The God of Israel.

Gosh, struck him with a fatal and invisible stroke.

Boom dead.

That's what we were waiting.

This is and tie it.

Wait, and tie us with a chariot driver.

The, um, and tie it.

Oh, shit.

This is how he died.

Just see the all seeing Lord.

The God of Israel.

Struck him with a fatal and invisible stroke.

Boom dead.

I feel like the chariot driver was like,

fuck this shit.

And he hit a rock on purpose.

Yeah.

Oopsie.

Dude flew out.

I don't know what happened.

Yeah, yeah.

I tried really hard to see him.

His sword landed in his chest.

I don't know how that happened.

I could not find a doctor anywhere.

Nobody had the same blood type.

Right.

I think that's what I would be doing.

As soon as he had finished speaking this word,

the, the, I will make Jerusalem a common graveyard of Jews

when I come there.

Yeah.

As soon as he finished speaking this word.

And in careful pain of the bowels seized him

with bitter torments of the inner parts.

And that most justly for he had tormented other men's bowels

with many and strange sufferings.

So what the fuck?

So he had an explosive diarrhea that literally exploded.

Is that what happened?

His butthole exploded.

I guess that's crazy.

He had prolapse or something and his ass fell out.

I'm sure.

Have you ever heard of that?

Yeah, I, yeah.

Wait, you can poop so hard that your,

your bung, bunghole, like pops out backwards or something.

That's not something I wanted to discuss tonight.

No, me neither.

I, I've heard of it.

Good morning, everybody.

He got your cup of coffee.

Everything.

I mean, you do know I'm childish.

And so if you're listening, that's kind of on you.

Unless you're new in which case apologies and welcome.

Also, sorry, not sorry.

Right.

But he in no way ceased from his rude insolence.

He's, he's pooping everywhere.

His bowels are exploding and he's like,

and he goes and no, he was filled with even more air against

breathing fire in his passion against the Jews

and giving orders to haste in the journey.

Oh, I got a shit so bad.

I'm struggling to fight because I'm, I thought he said this and then they,

they went nonstop to go to the Jews.

They did.

They're on their way.

Yeah, so like this is, he had the incurable bowel disease.

My bowels hurt.

Happening before he got on a chariot.

No, while he's in the chariot while he's in the chariot while he's in the chariot.

He's like, he's like chariot driver.

Don't stop till we get there hurry up.

Maybe they didn't stop for a bathroom break.

Maybe that's what happened.

Yeah, there you go.

And he's like, my bowels hurt but keep going on more.

Kill those motherfuckers.

Yeah, yeah.

But he came to pass more over that he's

down for his journey.

Oh, he did fall for it.

I'm so sorry.

I did not see that coming.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I mean, let me ask you this.

You're in a chariot with somebody.

I'm in a chariot with somebody.

In curable bowel disease.

Do you or do you not push them overboard to get rid of the stinking?

I'm like using an easy target.

Right.

Like, who's stinky?

Right.

Because because the tigers is a little over there going,

whoa, excuse me.

Oh, pardon.

I do not get paid enough for this shit.

Literally.

All right.

So it came to pass more over that he fell from his chariot

as it rushed along.

And having a grievous fall was tortured

in all of the members of his body.

All the members.

He broke his dick.

My man broke his dick.

Fell from chariot and I broke my dick.

This is the country's old begging to be made.

He who had just supposed himself to have the waves of the sea at his bidding

because he was so superhumanly arrogant and who thought to weigh the heights of the mountains

in the balance was now brought to the ground and carried in a litter showing to all that the power

was obviously gods.

So that worms swarmed out of the impious man's body.

It warms swarmed out.

I said impious again, but it's impious.

So this way he had worms already in and this swarmed out.

This swarmed out of his body.

What the fuck happened to him?

And while he was still living in anguish and pains,

his flesh fell off.

His fucking skin was like no bum out.

His skin, his bones.

His skin was like bifulled shut up.

As much as I'm enjoying this recounting of how bad my god tortured this guy,

I just this was not mentioned at all in the first story and I'm like,

this is too rich to not mention.

This is truly a fun.

Like what the fuck?

Okay, okay, the worms swarmed out of the impious man's body.

I mean, he was still living in anguish and pains.

His flesh fell off and by reason of the stench,

all of the already done.

Oh, sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, fear.

Hold on, hold on.

I'm dying.

I think.

We might get through this guys.

Okay, okay.

All the army turned with welding from his decay.

My man was so sneaky.

I wasn't kidding.

This guy I'm so much eternal army around.

Stink ass.

I remember when I said in the cherry that he was sticky.

I was kidding.

I'm just imagine like a big,

full of that green,

bark smoke coming out.

That's like going along.

And then there were worms and then and then it skimmed the walls.

I feel like this guy even did visit the doctor while before this.

Yeah, um, this it all happened so suddenly.

The man who a little before

I supposed himself to touch the stars of heaven.

Yeah.

No one could endure to carry because of his intolerable stench.

This is what I'm going to brought.

My lord, you do stink.

I mean, with worms already coming out, you know, what are you going to do?

I'm so sorry.

Mine emperor, but

thou stench is too great.

Thy fart is upon me.

Before he began in great part to cease from his arrogance, he's still alive.

Wait, wait, what?

His he's got worms crawling in and out.

No, we'll be carrying him.

Fell off.

Yeah.

He's, but apparently he's still alive.

He's still alive.

Okay.

All right.

Therefore, he began in great part to cease from his arrogance,

being broken in spirit and to come to knowledge under the scourge of God.

Wow.

His pain's increasing every moment.

He's like,

maybe he always is real.

Well, God damn.

That's me.

God damn.

I like, I like, I don't care.

They're giving us this like come to God moment.

Come.

You almost agree.

We're yeah.

Because that's the yeah.

But like he's no one will even touch him.

I know.

His skin already fell off.

Like, his skin, the law, dead, dude.

Yeah.

And I'm sorry.

No one, no one, this didn't happen.

This didn't happen.

This didn't happen.

This didn't happen.

But listen.

He might have died.

But I mean, this didn't happen.

But listen.

When he himself could not stand his own smell.

My ass did do stink.

So mighty.

That the heavens are upon me.

Holy moly, do I stink?

He said these words.

It is right to be subject to God.

And that one who is mortal should not think they are equal to God.

Right?

Right?

Sorry.

That didn't happen.

No.

No.

No.

No.

The violence.

I love how they just throw these like these.

He's by himself.

They're like, God, so amazing.

This other God that I don't know anything about.

But like he's the Jewish God.

And obviously he's so powerful.

He made me stink, skin fall off and.

And worms don't forget worms.

And don't forget.

Apparently I still can talk to say that he's great.

I don't know who I'm talking to.

Because they know nobody by me.

Right?

Yeah.

Who's writing this shit down?

It ain't me.

Because my hands don't have skin on it.

Right.

The vile man vowed to the sovereign Lord.

According to somebody.

Who now no more would have pity upon him.

Oh, he was praying to God.

And God was like so.

Saying that the holy city to which he was going in haste to lay it

even with the ground and to make it a common graveyard.

He would declare free.

Concerning the Jews, whom he had decided not even to count worthy of burial,

but to cast them out to the animals with their infants for the birds to devour.

He would make them all equal to citizens of Athens.

The holy sanctuary, which before he had plundered,

he would adorn with best offerings and would restore

all the secret vessels many times multiplied.

And out of his own revenues would defray the charges that were required for the sacrifices.

He's like, please put my skin back on his face.

Does he even want to continue living it?

If I died, I didn't say he died.

And then they said that it would all this happened.

All of a sudden on the one who assumed he died.

Got it.

I said, boom, dead.

I feel like worst case scenario.

You just had a bad case diarrhea.

Probably.

I mean, like shit is way all the way to the Jewish city.

Which probably haven't a lot back then.

That's what I'm thinking.

He's some bad meat, whatever.

So yeah.

Beside all this, he said that he would become a Jew.

Don't you?

I am.

And would visit every inhabited place proclaiming the power of God,

but when his sufferings did in no way cease for the judgment of God had come upon him

in righteousness, having given up.

Just think of what the Jews could have asked him to just let him live.

Yeah.

Like all the things.

Right.

Yeah.

So when God didn't change his mind, put a skin back on him.

Yeah.

Okay.

He wrote with his skinless hands to the Jews.

Wow.

The letter written below having the nature of a supplication to this effect.

Oh.

He wrote some kind of letter to this effect.

Okay.

With skinless hands.

Okay.

That's crazy.

That's so weird.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Ready?

I'm sure.

Here's the letter.

I'm ready.

To the worthy Jewish citizens.

Worthy.

Antiochist king and general wishes much joy and health and prosperity.

May you and your children farewell.

Okay.

And may your affairs be as you wish.

Having my hope in heaven, I remembered with affection,

your honor and good will.

He's like, I'm going to appeal to the people instead of God.

And by doing so, hope that I can still get into their Jewish heaven.

I guess.

Yeah.

This is weird.

This is weird.

The whole thing is weird.

Returning out of the region of Persia and being taken within annoying sickness.

But annoying that annoying sickness.

Like when I get the flu, my skin doesn't fall off.

Nor do I have worms.

Sure.

And I still think of it as more than annoying.

Right.

You know, I deemed it necessary because of this annoying sickness.

I deemed it necessary to take thought for the common safety of all,

not despairing of myself, of course.

Right.

But having great hope to escape from the sickness,

I am writing to you because this is me summing up what he has said so far.

I am writing to you because my ass hurts.

And I think, please, God help me.

Please, please, please, send your God to help me.

Please, please.

You double your God.

Get this shit taken care of.

Yes.

Please, please, please.

But considering that my father also, at the time he led an army into the upper country,

appointed his successor to the end that if anything fell out contrary to expectation,

or if any unwelcome tidings were brought, the people in the country,

knowing to whom the state had been left, might not be troubled and more over observing how the

this is a long sentence and I think how the princes who were along the borders and neighbors to

my kingdom watch for opportunities and look for the future event, I have appointed my son

Antiochus to be king.

You know, yeah, I'm an I'm an Antiochus and he's an Antiochus and wouldn't you want to be a

Tiochus too?

Who my often entrusted and commended to most of you when I was hurrying to the upper provinces,

I've written to him what is written below.

I therefore urge you and beg you, having in your remembrance the benefits done to you in common

and severally to preserve your present goodwill each of you toward me and my son.

I'm about to die.

My skin fell off.

I have worms and I stink.

Just so you know, I've made my son king, please be nice to him and don't take it out on him

the fact that I was an asshole.

I feel like this is more like he's dying and he's like, don't fuck my son over.

Yeah, you know, please don't blame him for being an asshole.

That's all it is.

Yeah, for I am persuaded that he in gentleness and kindness will follow my purpose and treat

you with moderation and kindness.

And that's only if it was actually ever written.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what to believe here.

Right.

But if it was written, it was merely because he was dying and didn't want his son to be like

punished for his wrong doings.

Right.

Yeah.

He's like, don't blame my son for the fact that I'm an asshole.

Right.

Like nothing to do with worms coming out and the skin falling off and his ass blowing up.

Or or a belief in God, by any stretch of the imagination.

Right.

So the murderer and blasphemer having endured the most intense sufferings even as he

had dealt with other men ended his life among the mountains by a most pittiest fate in a

strange land.

Philip, his foster brother took the body home and then fearing the son of Antiochus.

He withdrew himself to Ptolemy, philometer, philometer in Egypt, philometer.

I don't I don't envy that guy had to take his body anywhere because they had to be disgusting.

That's why Philip left.

He's like, here's the body.

He's like, hey, son of Antiochus, new Antiochus, here's your dad.

He's dead.

And I have to go now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was going literally have to go to Egypt now.

Goodbye.

I say to you, good day.

So that was that was it then.

That was it then.

Okay.

That was more than enough.

All right.

Well, I there we finished with the first Antiochus.

He's got a very untimely, I don't know about untimely, but he met a bad, terrible death there

according to this book.

He was so stinky.

He was done.

It was so bad.

He was bloody and wormy.

Man.

May worms never be in my body.

I have learned from doing this for as long as we have, you never want to be eating anything

when listening to our podcast.

Right.

You just never know what the fuck's going to happen.

But like, it can get pretty gross.

Suddenly, with no warning, it's just like, suddenly, there's worms in your body.

What?

Swarm in.

Swarm in worms.

Yeah.

Swarm in warming.

What?

Sure.

What?

I don't know.

Stop.

Anyway, that was second Maccabee's chapter nine.

Sure as fuck was.

And if you're listening to this one, it comes out in the morning.

That means that tonight, Tuesday, at 10 p.m. Eastern, is our live on Discord.

It sure as fuck is.

Yeah.

And you should join us there.

Uh, yeah, you really should.

And we'll definitely be doing it this week because we skipped last week because we suck.

No, because I was saying poo poo.

No, we, yeah, that's that's all part of sucking.

Anytime we don't do an episode is because we suck.

I had worms.

You didn't have worms.

I didn't have worms.

I didn't have worms.

And my skin did not fall off.

No, no, no.

But, but you should click on the link in the in the show notes and you should join us there

tonight and we have a blast.

It usually takes a half hour or more to get into the actual episode.

So just be prepared for that.

You can arrive late and not have missed a goddamn thing.

That's right.

It's right.

Except hanging out.

Right.

Which is the fun part.

So hopefully we'll see you tonight.

And, uh, oh, and then after that, we'll be doing the next chapter, which would be.

Oh, you don't mean that same night.

You mean the next chapter that we do after our live because our live is always not part of the

regular Bible series.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

So the next chapter that we do whenever we do it is going to be second mega doodles chapter 10.

All right.

We'll see you then.

Okey dokey bye.

Bye.

Hey, wife.

I guess that's the end.

But husband, that's just sad.

It doesn't have to be.

We are on lots of social media platforms like Twitter.

Our handle there is sacralibus underscore d

for these nuts.

Oh my god.

Stop doing that.

Anyway, we're also on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.

There's a link to all of our social media sites at our website.

Oh, we have a website.

Yeah, it's sacreligiousdiscourse.com where you can also find a link to our merch shop.

We have a merch shop.

Yep.

We have podcast theme clothing, mugs, notebooks, and more as well as an atheist and science theme products.

Wow, our fans should really go check that out right now.

Definitely.

They can get in touch with us by sending an email to sacreligiousdiscourse

at gmail.com.

But before they do that, we could really use some help.

Oh, yeah, with what?

Well, it's not free running the podcast,

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Okay, so what should they do?

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Don't forget to say thanks.

Thanks.

K-bye.