2026.03.10: Crowns For Horses

There's an ax a lot along the pink stare.

Hey, we're recording the podcast.

I'm gonna say it's sad.

Good!

Monitor yo!

Wherever you are, because it is!

Morning Subwear!

4 March 10th, 2026.

My name is Bernie Burns sitting over there.

I think I can actually get her into rugby.

It's actually Burns.

Say hi to Ashley, everybody.

You get me into rugby?

I already like rugby.

We made a critical error.

Typical.

This is a very nerd error that we made.

We bought our tickets to go see Project Hill Mary.

The same day that the Six Nations rugby tournament is like Super Saturday.

They're having all their games.

And if Scotland beats Ireland, they win the triple crown.

I think it's cold.

Well, the British house.

Isn't the triple crown the one that...

Isn't that the race horse one?

That is.

That is.

In America, that's one of this.

But here, it's like a real crown.

We give our crowns the horses in America.

You're giving the people.

Anyway, but if Scotland beats Ireland and France loses or draws

and look, whatever, France and Scotland are tied,

but France is ahead on points, Scotland's got a shot at this.

Actually, they got a shot.

They got a shot.

So we will know exactly what the outcome was.

We come out of the movie.

And if she's on fire, they either won or they lost.

This is the life you chose, by the way.

You could split your whole day on Saturday watching big dudes smash into each other.

But instead, you're going to go see like a nerdy dude in space.

That's where you're going to go see.

Yeah, but then afterwards, I can watch the highlights of the dudes hitting each other.

That's true.

That's good enough for you.

Yeah, like I get to see I'm like, oh, did anyone pull anyone's pants down today?

Who got bloody?

Anybody that maneuvered with a shoulder hand of somebody's butt and raised them up in the air?

That's a fair move.

Still my favorite move is the lady.

We'll have to put this in the link down when I bring it up where she's lifting someone up over her head.

And then the woman she's holding her by like the waistband of her shorts.

And then she tips over behind her.

And somehow takes an entire human with her arms and let ratchets her over her head again.

You know, I'm describing that really poorly, but it's incredible move.

Man, I don't know how a person does that.

I almost did a pull up once.

Right.

I was like, this is Pete human physicality.

I can almost do a pull up.

I couldn't do that.

I don't know if I can do that with our kids.

Like if they started to go backwards off my shoulders and I reach back and grab.

That's what it is.

She treats them like a toddler just like reaches back grabs her and throws her up over her own head forward.

Right.

Because she almost like she realizes the ball is coming a little bit too far back.

So she just moves the player back to be able to catch it.

And this isn't one of those things where it's like you're in a gym and you've got the training next to you.

Like all right.

Now make sure you tighten your core is your base strong.

Okay.

Great.

Okay.

Now we're going to extend a little bit.

No.

She's in the middle of a field.

Just main handling this other player above her head behind her head.

And she caught the ball.

It was incredible.

My shoulder hurts to this day from reaching into the back seat of the car to help kids like pick up the thing they dropped.

I've had a gaming injury since my like mid 20s where I think I like sat on like with one of my knees tucked under

for too long and that knee has never been the same.

Really?

Yeah.

What was the game you played?

He was oblivion.

Oblivion.

Like when that first came out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had a friend.

I won't name him.

Maybe you know I should know the story.

He developed like a really bad hemorrhoids from sitting on a cement floor and playing rogue spear for like 10 hours or something.

Rainbow secure.

Great game.

By the way.

Great game.

I would love to go back and play that one.

I had a, by the way, shout out to everybody in the subreddit who is commenting.

I can go play that game burnout crash if I want to.

I just have to load up a 360.

Okay.

So we just have to go find a 360.

We have 360.

We do.

We do.

We have to storage a whole closet of 360.

We do.

And you can think me for that because that's the kind of thing that you were probably ready to call.

And I went, no, no, my collection.

Let me go to the judges on that.

You are correct.

Yes.

You get a point for that.

That we can give credit to you for storing all of that crap.

So the hoarder and the get rid of everything or we meet in the middle.

And sometimes we help each other out.

Thank God all the storage fees they all paid off.

I thought I could play that 699 game from 20 years ago.

What is that going by outside?

Is it airplanes?

It looks like smoke outside.

Hold on everybody.

I'm going to pause the podcast for a second.

I see smoke.

No, our headphones are good.

Somebody's cutting a stone and it's dust.

Okay.

We're all good.

These are great headphones.

Yeah.

The filter for this must be pretty good because it's not picking up that rock saw.

Unless it is in which case, sorry.

But one of the other things that you're probably not picking up is we do have a lot of airplanes going by.

We have so many jets flying by overhead just because of everything that's going on in the world.

And just one of your top stories for this week is that Iran has appointed a new supreme leader.

It's Camini's son.

So that is an indication to the world that Iran is going to fight to the end on this thing.

And yesterday was a weird day to figure out for like what's how is everybody taking this?

Because yesterday the market opened in like crash territory.

It was down like 2%.

And it was like looking like it was headed downwards.

And then it just said nope.

And it finished up for the day.

Everyone said by that dip.

Which obviously the market's not everything.

But it is an indication of people's fear.

You know, it's one of the indexes that we have for that.

So market indicators can be a weird thing.

Market indicators are always always a weird thing.

There's another one that's going on right now.

Which I sent to you in the group chat.

Do you see it?

This is one of those economic indicators.

I don't know how to take it.

Is that Disney.

I think it was in 2024.

Disney made more profit from selling churros in their park than they did from their streaming service.

I did see this.

So someone this was you ever see that that sub right like they did the math.

And it's like people like just like taking these numbers and then like building them out to this.

Insane conclusion.

And this is the conclusion that Disney makes more money from selling churros in their parks than they do from streaming.

I want to be clear about something.

The headline was really specific and the article was they make more profit from it.

Which profit?

If something dips into unprofitability in like an investment year.

You know, if they're buying up a bunch of media streaming titles and things like that are signing a lot of licensing deals.

Then suddenly anything that's profitable seems like better part of the business.

Then the thing that might make billions of dollars in revenue, but it's not currently profitable.

You know what that sounds like to me, Bernie?

Is that sounds like big churro trying to draw the attention away?

Right.

Right.

Like first of addiction unprofitability.

Suddenly the vending machines in the office where people work.

Those make more money than the overall streaming service.

I'm more interested in hearing if they're dipping into caramel.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

Exactly.

Is that what you dip your churro into?

I'll dip it.

But two churros are so delicious.

For those, the porcelains who are not familiar with churros, they're like...

They're like this like extrapolated dough that's baked.

So it's kind of bread-like.

But then they're coated in the cinnamon sugar.

They're incredibly delicious.

And if you've avoided them this far, continue to do so because once you eat a churro, your life will never be the same.

The shape of a churro is only found in two places.

The first is churros or that shape.

And then the only other shape I've seen that in is the Play-Doh Fun Factory.

It's like the extruder.

That's it.

They're like, the dough has been pushed through this thing so that it has this perfectly corrugated circle shape.

Right.

Like some Mexican kid was playing with Play-Doh Fun Factory and goes, wait a minute.

Create a huge business.

I've never had...

This might cause a rift.

I don't think I've ever had a good churro.

I don't think I've ever had a fresh churro.

I've never had like baseball park, amusement park churros.

And they've always been like, listen, I'm all American.

Are you?

Are you because now that you're talking, I'm not sure.

Give me a funnel cake any day of the week over a churro.

That's controversial, probably.

Give me a funnel cake.

There's something really special when you go to those fun fairs.

The kind of fun fair that travels around.

And they're like all their rides are just up on concrete blocks.

And you're like, this could tip over at any moment, but we're having a good time.

But the snacks, like the treats, the funnel cakes and churros and things that they sell,

where they really invest, where they don't skimp is in the fat.

Ditto.

Yeah.

Like, whatever, they have some magical, mystical unicorn oil that they fry that stuff.

Yeah.

And it's incredible.

It has a really specific smell and a really specific taste that I feel like I don't get anywhere else.

You're eating a whole churro.

Like the whole thing.

Of course.

They do.

They're huge.

They're wonderful.

They do a thing at the round rock, the minor league team that's in Austin.

The baseball team.

Not technically in Austin, but it is.

People try to pretend like it's a different city.

It's Austin.

It's awesome.

They do a churro ice cream.

That's pretty good.

Pretty good.

Well, I'm looking.

Churros are good enough to be such big business here.

I'm going to throw some numbers that you were ready for.

These are not my numbers.

These are their numbers.

Can I bring something up real quick, though?

Yeah, go ahead.

Before we get away from churros and funnel cakes and everything, when I was a kid,

I used to go to like this New England style amusement park with like wooden roller coasters.

It was called Sea Breeze in Sea Breeze, New York, right by Rochester, New York.

Right, go up.

Name feels a little on the nose.

It does a little bit.

Yeah.

Maybe did they name the town after the park or the park after the town, right?

Or maybe they named it after a breeze from the sea.

Who knows?

They had a thing there.

I don't know what it's called, but it looked kind of like it was like a funnel cake kind of a thing.

It was a fried pastry, some kind.

But it kind of looked like a snowflake.

And then it had a bunch of powdered sugar on top of it, which seems to be the common thread with all these.

It had a little bit of cinnamon in for the churros.

But this was like a some kind of fried cake thing that looked like a snowflake.

It looked like a design, right?

It was very pretty.

It was so good.

Never seen it outside of that place ever.

And I don't know if that was a regional thing because I moved away or if it was specific to that park.

All right.

So if you are Sea Breeze, if you're listening to this podcast, please weigh in.

Someone will know this.

Somebody.

Someone out there.

Here's our math.

Our math on the churros is that they made $35 million in total revenue at $32 million in gross profit.

Okay.

Say that again.

It's $32 million in profit, $35 million in revenue.

Here's how it breaks down.

What is the markup on a churro?

So there are most of it.

It's mostly markup.

So they had 4.4 million churros sold at Disney theme parks in 2018 alone.

This article, I'm going to put in the link dump because it's really cool.

It does an assumption for sales increase based on population.

So it draws out to 5.8 million churros in 2023 with a $6 sales price per churro.

17 million people visit the Disney theme parks every year.

34% of those.

One out of three by a churro.

Wow.

Okay.

Churros are big business here.

They have a lot of profit margins.

So what I'm getting from this is we all need to go open like churro stance.

That just goes to show though, they're gouging us at the churro cart.

It's what they're doing.

90% markup.

That's crazy.

But they even have numbers for specifically the churro booth that's near haunted mansion.

You can reach a level of greed to where you just show it off of like look what we're getting away with here.

That's how those parks work.

They gouged you to get in and they gouged you for every other thing.

That's why people like spend their savings to go to these parks.

Although I'm not sure I'd recommend going to them right now if they're an error plane ride away because right now that's a mess.

I saw a headline that TSA lines like airport security lines are approaching like three hours long because of staffing absences.

Which I'm guess is because are they still not getting paid?

Is that what's happening?

I mean, that's what that sounds like to me.

I'll look this up.

Okay.

I got it right here.

House approves.

This is from CBS news.

House approves bill that would end the department of Homeland Security shutdown.

But roadblocks remain in senate.

So the bill that is affecting or the shutdown, the partial shutdown that's affecting pay for TSA agents is still ongoing.

So now they're starting to not show up for work and getting three hour lines at the airport.

Which I mean to be fair, how long can you expect someone to show up to work without getting paid?

We were talking about it when it first happened.

How we just take it for granted that these people on a regular basis now have to go to work without pay and they seem to do it.

I can get it after a month or two.

Why would you keep going to work?

Sure.

And so this is leading to big long lines at TSA.

Also, United Airlines has a new rule which I didn't know wasn't a rule already.

They just announced a new rule that you have to use headphones.

Thank God.

And yeah, exactly.

Thank God.

I can't believe we have to tell adults this.

It's unbelievable.

You say that.

I've already seen videos of people refusing to use headphones on flights and getting kicked off.

And which I don't understand.

I feel like you would be fighting to use headphones.

Yeah.

You can't hear anything.

Plains are already very loud.

You don't want to listen to everyone else.

You want headphones.

First of all, I don't want to listen to your episode of Love Island full blast.

Or whatever it is that you're watching.

But also, if you're watching that, why would you want anyone else to hear you?

I had a thing one time where I had my AirPods in and I was watching my movie.

And it was like, it was loud on the plane.

And I couldn't really hear it even with my AirPods.

I was like, man, this isn't as great as it should be.

It's not isolating the sound as much.

I got a really cool part of the movie.

And I wanted to hear what people were saying.

And there was some dialogue.

And I really could hear it.

So I turned it up.

It's still here, but even like it maxed volume.

I could barely hear it through my AirPods.

I was like, man, this is no easy plane.

I thought, well, maybe this is like, maybe someone was like blocking my AirPods or whatever.

Took them out.

They weren't connected.

I was, I had my AirPods in and I kept cranking the volume on my thing.

It's one of the most mortifying moments of my life.

And nobody said anything to me.

Believe it or not, United Airlines kicked off.

It would have put it in the air.

No, but he said anything.

It was like blasting it louder and louder and trying to get through my AirPods.

So I can hear it.

I'm pointing next to you.

I'm sure it was just watching you just side eyeing.

What do you think his internal monologue was like?

If he wasn't watching an episode of Love Island, that is.

He was, he was just watching you like, surely he's going to get it at some point.

Like he must have seen you had the AirPods in.

Right.

I feel like it becomes an issue the longer you go.

Right?

Where if like somebody like you do something wrong, if someone touched in the shoulder,

it goes, Hey, cut that out.

And you're like, Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

Cut that out.

But if you let him go for any amount of time, then it becomes a bigger issue, right?

Right.

It's built up too much.

It's like when you don't know someone's name.

And then like after you've met them so many times and you, you're like,

we know each other now, but I don't know their name.

You just resign yourself to never knowing this person's name.

You're going to, like you're going to go on trips together sometime in the future.

You're, your children are going to graduate together and you will never know their name.

Yeah.

You'll be giving.

They're always hey you.

They're eulogy at their funeral.

And like, dude, this guy was great.

He was a pal.

He was my bro.

I've never met anyone like this guy.

You're like in the corner of your eye, you're watching the guy carve the tombstone.

You're like, hurry the fuck up.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

But be it for any longer.

Hurry the fuck up.

But that guy, I knew a guy who would not be allowed.

I'm playing on United Airlines anymore because he refused to wear headphones.

Why?

We don't know.

We don't know.

It was a weird thing.

We talked about this guy before a long time ago.

Remember the pinball game that came with like Windows 95 or whatever?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He would just bust that out on his laptop.

We think, I think he liked to show that he had like mobile tech before mobile tech was ubiquitous

and it was a really cool thing.

So like, he would pick up his phone, would ring in public and he would look at his phone ringing

his hand and let it ring like two or three more times and then answer on a ring.

Always answered on a ring.

Don't know why.

Like, cut it off.

And then like, he would bust out his mobile, his laptop on a plane and start playing pinball

at full volume.

And we would tell him, stop, turn it down, stop doing that and he would just ignore us.

He loved, I don't know why.

He loved to do it.

So United Airlines, you saw that problem.

Yeah.

Stick a flight attendant around.

Are people really fighting it?

I've seen videos of people just like refusing to do it, which is a level of individualism

that I just, I don't understand.

Another problem I'm having with technology, by the way.

This is a serious problem I'm having with technology.

I use, I moved over to using Google Calendar because I mainly have my video conferences

with Google Meet and it just makes sense to do it.

So now I'm on Google Calendar and because we live in Scotland, I've got to like set meetings

with people who are in America in central time and in Pacific time.

A lot of times, which is like eight hours removed from us.

Most parts of the year, but then seven hours now for those next two weeks.

This kind of like our hell week, we're going to ask for a little bit of grace if the podcast

comes out like half an hour late for the next two weeks.

It's because you guys have had daylight savings time and we have not had daylight savings time.

So enjoy that extra hour, buddy.

So here's the deal.

And I have tried to troubleshoot this in every possible way.

I have even thrown all of our artificial intelligence resources of our planet that we're consuming for this

to try to solve this problem.

And I can't solve this problem by any means at all.

There's not even a forum post from like 20 years ago where it states my problem.

And then someone goes off figured it out. Thanks.

I don't even have that to look back to.

So when I go to schedule a meeting in Google and I want to schedule the meeting for three p.m. Pacific time,

which is a very specific example that came up for me.

And if I had three p.m. and I want to set time zone here, I want you to read some of these.

I'm going to type in Pacific so you can see all the different time zones.

I'm handing this phone.

Read all this.

All right.

We have Pacific Daylight time for Canada.

Mexican Pacific Standard Time for Mexico, Pacific Baja California in Mexico, or Pacific Standard.

Met Lakatla in the United States.

I cannot.

Who's that one?

My time zones are all like little regions that you have to figure out.

Does this fall in the same time zone as Los Angeles?

What happened to Los Angeles and New York?

Chicago and place like it.

What's mountain?

Denver.

I guess.

Yeah, they're probably Denver.

Hey, you grew up in Utah on the mountain time zone, right?

Yeah.

Do you know that that is the bitch time zone?

Yeah.

Okay, good.

You know that.

Yeah, absolutely.

We don't tell the people from the mountain time zone.

It's always wrong on the time zone.

You have Eastern time zone.

You have Central time zone.

And then you have fuck yourself and then you have Pacific time zone.

You really have Eastern and Pacific and really Central kind of keeps up with the big kids

a little bit, you know?

Yeah.

With Chicago.

But the mountain time zone is just a little bitch, a little bitch of a time zone.

It gets left out of everything.

In fact, when I was younger, I got used to.

You'd see the sitcoms.

They have their airing times and they're like, they would say this time.

Eastern this time Pacific and you just have to like do the math and figure it out yourself.

Like if I want to put an Eastern time zone.

Here's Australian Eastern New South Wales, Australian Eastern QLD, Australian Eastern Daylight

Time, Australian Eastern Standard Time, Eastern European Standard Time, Eastern Daylight Time,

Bulgaria, Eastern Daylight Time, Bahamas, Eastern Daylight Time, Canada, Eastern Standard,

Canada, Cayman Islands, Cyprus, Egypt, Estonia, Finland, Greece, Haiti, Indonesia,

like if I just want to put, I just want to put in New York or something like that.

I can't figure out like why does it give me all these bizarre ass time zones?

When I just want to set a time zone in Google Calendar for the most used time zones for people

who are based in the US, which is what my Google account is based in.

I don't understand why it's giving me all the shit.

And even if I find like the Eastern time zone, which is the US, it's like do you want like

the Native American reservation in Eastern Canada?

It's like no, I want New York.

Give me the fuck in New York.

We're trying to get sea breeze on the phone.

It's so ridiculous, man.

It is so ridiculous how difficult it is for me to find time zones in Google Calendar.

Anyway, that's my bitch for the day.

Look, it's just, it's one of the troubles when you have like all the options is having all the options.

Right.

One of you have all of the options.

But I'm saying in a lot of those time zones, it doesn't exist.

The actual time zone that I want to find does not exist.

And I guess if the location of the meeting was in Los Angeles, that'd be okay.

But nobody has meetings in places anymore.

It's all on Google Meet, right?

Right.

Well, maybe that's one of the reasons that the time zones have dramatically expanded.

We're planning to work for home on this.

Also, I ask this every time I refuse to learn this information.

By the way, Vancouver is getting rid of the time change.

This is their last one.

Are they going to stay on daylight savings forever?

Yeah, British Columbia.

They're going to, whatever they're going to do.

I don't care.

Like what they're just going to be.

They're going to stick with it.

They just did their change and they're never changing again.

So in the summer, we're saving daylight during the summer.

We're saving daylight during the winter.

Which one do we save daylight?

Which one's standard?

Yeah, this is so stupid.

We've been doing this our whole lives.

I still don't know.

It's so fucking dumb.

It's just one of those things.

It's built in.

We know it doesn't make any sense.

But we've been doing it forever.

So we just keep on doing it.

And we got rid of it.

Like in the 70s.

We got rid of it.

And then we went back to it because people complained about not having it.

So get the fuck what I want to go back in time.

You give me a time machine.

There's about a billion choices.

You go back to fix something.

I would go back there and fix those people.

Well, also like one of the big things about it is it was,

it was designed to save electricity.

Right?

It was designed so that you're awake,

your business hours, whatever are more geared into like the daylight hours.

I don't think anyone cares about that anymore.

We got LED bulbs, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hitler has a time machine, right?

Why do you say that?

Because if you get a time machine, what's the first thing you're doing?

I kill and get a bit Hitler.

You go back and you kill Hitler, right?

Right.

So Hitler's whole life.

He fought time travelers.

Right?

What are the chances if he lived to get to the point that he did of rose to power and everything?

Surely he fought at least like 10 or 15 time travelers by that point.

One of them fucked up the safety protocols.

And that's why we never found Hitler's body.

He killed one of them, got the time machine.

And he's off.

Maybe he had a Sarah Connor.

Yeah.

I'm going to pitch that as a new season of Doctor Who.

That's going to be a weird one.

That would be a weird one.

Fans watching you going, wow, this really jumped the shark for some reason.

That's the body.

That's kind of conspiracy theories you get on this podcast.

Hitler has a time machine.

And he got away.

The time machine.

It's gonna show up wherever.

Well, on that note, I want to say a big thank you to today's time travelers.

Tussine Moustache and Austin Enix.

Thank you both so much for sponsoring this episode of our show at patreon.com.

Slash morning somewhere and we're should teethe.com.

Oh, right.

That does it for us today.

March 10th, 2026.

Wibble, wobble, bibble, bobble.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Bye, everybody.