#215 A Message to Husbands: How to Actually Listen to Your Wife

In our work with couples and clients, we often come across marriages that are struggling. One of the MANY reasons this happens (or at least continues as an issue) is because of the husband’s inability or lack of skill in listening to his wife effectively in a way that she needs him to.

Just as women need to understand a man’s need and desire for sexual intimacy, he needs to understand her need for emotional intimacy. This is challenging because it is often communicated in a way that can be undesirable to men and can sometimes come off as complaining, whining, illogical, irrational, or incorrect.

This is something we’ve had to figure out in our own marriage — the best way for Greg to ‘listen’ in a way that produces the results we both want — deeper connection, more intimacy, vulnerability, and security in our relationship and with each other, with the freedom to express feelings that don’t always have to be taken as absolute facts.

(Of course, there are other things that Rachel’s had to figure out too in order to better meet her husband’s needs, but we’ve discussed those in previous episodes.)

Listening in this way can be challenging and complicated — it seems passive but is actually a very active process. When understood and done well it will transform your marriage relationship (and improve your sex life).

Of course, better communication will help in ALL relationships — including the workplace and your community. But listening to your wife in the way we outline in this episode is a whole other level that is very unique to this special relationship.

We’ll expound on emotional stacking, on the yin and yang of male/female relationships, why a woman will sometimes say the opposite of what she means, what she really wants you to do instead of ‘fixing’ her problems, how to get through the ugly crying without strangling her, and why all of this is okay and not something either side needs to be ashamed of or shy away from — because what lies on the other side is truly beautiful.

Learning to embrace the complexities of female emotion — and to understand that it’s an ocean that sometimes results in a storm — will help you to remain the lighthouse in that storm and will bring greater strength to each partner and to the relationship as a whole.

What results is a beautiful circle of intimacy that draws partners together mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically in an eternal loop of intellect, sentiment, passion, and desire — but only if both partners' unique needs are understood, addressed, and accepted.

This is a crucial part of the path to true INTIMACY — Into Me You See

RESOURCES:

Let us help you in your extraordinary family life journey.

• How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles (+ get THE CHECKLIST: Things We Do Every Day to Raise Well-Adjusted Kids)

• Rachel’s ⁠⁠Must-Read Booklist for Well-Read Moms⁠⁠

• Greg's ⁠⁠Recommended Reading List for Parents & Youth⁠⁠

• Follow us on Instagram: ⁠@worldschoolfamily⁠ or ⁠@greg.denning⁠

• Enrollment is open for the Extraordinary Parent Mentoring Method!

• Get Rachel's ⁠⁠Family Systems & Charts⁠⁠

• Join the Do More With Less Stress Workshop Series for busy moms

• Join Greg’s 7-Day Challenge 

• JOIN GREG'S 90-DAY HEALTH & FITNESS CHALLENGE! 

• Join the Formidable Family Man Masterclass and Tribe

• Gather with us at the ⁠World School Family (Beach & Farm) Resort⁠ in Portugal

• Read our reviews here: https://podcast.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/reviews/