231: Michael Bungay Stanier - Say Less, Ask More, & Change The Way You Lead Forever

At Box of Crayons, Michael and his team of facilitators teach 10-minute coaching so busy managers build stronger teams and get better results. Clients come from all sectors and include Box, the United Nations, Gartner, the University Health Network and USAA. A sought-after speaker, Michael regularly speaks to businesses and organizations and has delivered keynotes at Leadership, HR and Learning & Development, conferences around the world.

The Learning Leader Show

"If you can't coach in 10 minutes or less then you don't have the time to coach at all"

Show Notes:

• Commonalities of leaders who sustain excellence:
  • "They probably haven't sustained it. It's really hard."
  • Role Models -- They succeed AND they fail.  "You can't hit it out of the park every time"
  • Some times you do it all right and you still fail
  • Resilience and persistence are commonalities among people who have success
• Michael's list of failures "is long"
• The incredible story of how Michael was initially rejected as a Rhodes Scholar... And then how he persevered to earn it (the story about how he differentiated himself from the others is fantastic)
  • "Purple suit, long hair" -- "Everyone else had a blue suit, white shirt, red tie"
• Where did he develop so much courage?
  • From his parents  -- They gave him unconditional support to be different and unique
• He's a bit of a rebel who also follows the rules sometimes
  • Ask yourself "Do I want to be playing this game?"
• Box of Crayons -- A training company on how to coach in 10 minutes
  • The mistake of saying "yes" to everyone who asked for his help when he started the company
• Jim Collins -- "Fire bullets and then cannonballs" -- Low risk experiments
• The 3 ways coaching shows up in corporations
  • Executive coaching -- People at the top of the Org Chart
  • Training internal people to be the corporate training team
  • Train all managers/leaders to be more coach like -- This is what Michael and his team does
• "If you can't coach in 10 minutes or less then you don't have the time to coach at all"
• Transforming to be more "coach like"
• The 7 important questions to ask:
  • What's on  your mind?
  • And what else?
  • What's the real challenge here for you?
  • What do you want?
  • How can I help?
  • If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
  • What was most useful to you?
• Why most 1 on 1's are terrible
• The first and last questions are vital (must bookend the meeting well) -- "Start fast and end strong"
• The Learning moments -- Help them learn. They learn when there is a moment to reflect on what just happened
• Be careful when "the advice monster" kicks in... "Can you stay curious a little longer?" -- As the coach, you need to.  You must solve the correct problem and focus on the person you are coaching
  • If you just give advice, very little brain activity happens. If you ask questions, it grows the brain activity...
• Coaching for performance vs. Coaching for development -- There is a big difference
• The best question in the world is... "And what else?" -- It helps them go a level deeper.  Keep asking it, keep going deeper
• "Be lazy, be curious, be often" -- Michael's motto towards coaching. Listen, ask questions, help them learn
• "Be more coach like"
• "Help them learn rather than teaching them" -- We do this by asking great questions
• Learning Leader = "A great coach is a great teacher.  A learning leader is the essence of what it means to be a great leader." You help people learn by constantly learning more yourself

"Less Advice. More Curiosity."

Social Media:

• Read: The Coaching Habit
• Follow Michael on Twitter: @boxofcrayons
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Join our Facebook Group: The Learning Leader Community
• To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12

More Learning:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 216: Jim Collins -- How To Go From Good To Great

Episode 179: How To Sustain Excellence - The Best Answers From 178 Questions

Episode 107: Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why