242. "Our couples therapist couldn’t fix this. Please help."

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Natalie and Chris, married with two young kids and a net worth of $1.3 million. Despite their significant assets, money remains a constant source of conflict, especially when unexpected expenses arise. Chris tends to "freak out," emotionally withdrawing and becoming zombie-like, leaving Natalie feeling alone. This pattern, which Chris describes as "catastrophizing," has intensified since their kids' expenses piled up.  Their therapist recommended they talk to Ramit, hoping to establish a financial game plan to prevent Chris's emotional collapses. Currently, 81% of their income goes to fixed costs, with 0% to savings, leading to a feeling of constant stress and no margin for error. Can Ramit help them create a financial system that provides peace of mind and allows Chris to process financial challenges with less distress? In this episode we uncover: • The unexpected source of Chris and Natalie’s referral to Ramit • How large, unexpected expenses trigger Chris’s emotional “shutdown” • Natalie’s experience of feeling isolated when Chris is financially stressed • Why having a $1.3 million net worth doesn’t alleviate their financial anxiety • The surprising reason for their elevated fixed costs and lack of savings  • The emotional impact of feeling like there’s “nothing left over” at the end of the month  • Chris’s pattern of “catastrophizing” and the fear of successive financial blows  • The core question their therapist hopes Ramit can answer  • How Chris’s upbringing influences his current financial anxieties  • The challenges of discussing money when past traumas intertwine with current stresses Chapters: (00:00:00) “Your therapist...recommended that you speak to me” (00:10:55) “Natalie, what’s your role in money?” (00:25:43) The unexpected (and huge) financial blindspot (00:36:18) Ramit discovers a massive amount of hidden money (00:45:01) “You are financially set up for life” (00:54:02) How "Red Bull wingsuit" leads to a Rich Life (01:19:20) Finding an extra $1,360/month (01:44:23) Natalie and Chris’s follow-up: “He’s at ease now” This episode is brought to you by: ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  Notion | Try Notion, now with Notion Agent, at https://notion.com/ramit DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Gusto | Try Gusto at http://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires March 31, 2026. #FacetAd  Connect with Ramit • ⁠Get my new book, Money For Couples⁠ • ⁠Get Money Coaching with Ramit⁠ • ⁠Download the Conscious Spending Plan⁠ • ⁠Listen to my book—now on Audible⁠ • ⁠Get my New York Times best-selling book⁠ • ⁠Get my no-numbers journal⁠ • ⁠Other episodes⁠ • ⁠Instagram⁠ • ⁠Twitter⁠ • ⁠YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply