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At Become New, get 10 minutes of spiritual formation every weekday with John Orberg.
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There is now for the friends of Jesus, no condemnation.
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We're learning to give up condemnation.
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And people in contempt of spicing them for let just give it up.
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And by the way, you may or may not have seen this, but the new Pope, Pope Leo, in giving
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instructions to the flock for this season of length and talking about how fasting is
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often a part of people's practice during length at 40 days leading up to Easter, is what
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I would like to invite you to a very practical and frequently unappreciated form of abstinence.
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Not of refraining from words that offend and hurt our neighbor.
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Let us begin by disarming our language, avoiding harsh words and rash judgment, refraining
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from slander and speaking ill of those who are not present and cannot defend themselves.
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Instead, let us strive to measure our words and cultivate kindness and respect in our families
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among our friends, at work, on social media, in political debates, in the media, in Christian
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In this way, words of hatred will give way to words of hope and peace.
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Who knew the Pope and become new?
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We're walking through this journey together.
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And what I want to do in a few minutes today is to give one word, one action, one verb,
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one practice today that if I do it, it will be very important.
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Very hard for me to condemn while I am doing this one thing.
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Now in order to explain why I need to go back and review what condemnation is.
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And this also the answer to question.
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Several folks have asked, I mentioned in a recent episode how I was stopped from time by
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a police officer and I said, guilty, guilty, guilty, I know, I know, I know.
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And several folks have asked, well, why did the police officer stop you?
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It's a little embarrassing.
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He stopped me because I was driving with so much care, with so much good judgment, with
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so much of a civic spirit and a posture of blessing his eyes driving that he wanted
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to give me a commendation.
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He wanted to bless me.
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Now, full disclosure, there was a stop sign involved and his own interpretation of that
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sign, his own reading of it was quite literal, kind of a physicalist, legalistic approach
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And I explained, I have a PhD in clinical psychology, so my understanding stop is more
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of a spiritual thing.
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It's more of an inner posture, a readiness to be still because the letter kills, but
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the spirit gives life, but he was one of those letter kind of officers.
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So I got a little condemnation.
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Now, here's the review that I want to take for just a moment.
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When we're commanded not to condemn, that doesn't mean that we don't discern, doesn't
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mean that we don't judge, doesn't mean we don't recognize there's bad stuff, I mean,
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we stand up for what's good condemnation and I'm just here for a moment is a combination
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of malice that is ill will and disgust, which is a kind of repudence or revulsion.
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And these are two different things.
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If I have been working out and I'm real sweaty, if I try to get close to Nancy, she will go,
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oh boy, and she will events disgust, but she has good will toward me.
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On the other hand, if you ask somebody that you think is real attractive out on a date
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and you get rejected, you may be hurt with Nancy and me.
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One of us was real good at dating and the other one not at all experienced lots of rejection.
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So in that case, I might have a bad feeling towards that person, but I don't find them
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So that's condemnation.
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It is ill will I want pain and what bad for the other person and disgust.
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I find them revulsive, is that word repulsive?
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Now one other distinction that's real clear, real key is we're walking through this and
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we've talked about this is I need to remember and this starts when we think about God in
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His language towards us.
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There's a difference between someone's tone toward me and their heart toward me.
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Someone's tone like my therapist might have a real soothing tone.
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Their heart for me is good.
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I might have a coach or a drill instructor and they might have a real jarring tone.
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But their heart toward me might be real good.
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Again, someone's heart towards me might be agape love where they are for me or it might
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Now this distinction is really helpful when it comes to understanding God and the language
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of God often in scripture and this is leading to that one word.
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But I'll start with now how do I understand these words from God?
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Jesus in Matthew chapter 30, people often get confused about this, quotes the prophecy
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of Isaiah, you will be ever hearing but never understanding, ever seeing, never perceiving
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for this people's heart has become callous.
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They hardly hear with their ear.
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They close otherwise they might see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand
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with their spirits and turn and I would heal them.
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Passages like this look as though God was saying, I don't want you to hear.
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But that's not what he's saying.
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Of course, the whole reason Isaiah came was to preach repentance and to call people to
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God, to call people to hear.
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This is one of those passages where it's more than that jarring prophetic confrontation
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category, kind of like a coach saying, all right, go ahead, eat twinkies all day long.
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Somebody else will be doing that and they'll win.
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What the coach is really saying is, no, I want you to give it your best.
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If you go down the wrong path, this is where it leads and you don't really want that
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So understanding how to read, particularly prophetic words, including Jesus with understanding
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and discernment to distinguish between a jarring tone that contains a good heart.
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And as I was saying in this passage, what God wants for His people is listen and here's
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That's the word for today.
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If I want to go through this day and not be judging and condemning and consigning people
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to the scrap heap of humanity, it's very difficult to listen well and condemn at the same time.
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And I will give just one example of this from Scripture.
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This is a quite jarring one in the book of Acts.
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Stephen has been gathered by some religious leaders and is on trial for his life.
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Now you would think, given the stakes, people would say, we want to listen to him really
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carefully, really well, we want to really understand.
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But here's the warning.
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And this is in my heart and this is yours.
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The higher the emotions start to burn, the less likely listening is needed.
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The more the listening ought to happen, the less it tends to happen.
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And as Stephen is walking through his story of his life with God when it reaches its climax,
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we're told in Acts 7, verse 57, at this they covered their ears.
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At this they covered their ears.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not listening, not listening, don't want to hear it.
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And something horribly tragic happens.
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So here's the question.
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How are you doing it listening?
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I will give you a few questions to assess your listening quotient.
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This is from a book called The Lost Art of Listening by Michael Nichols and Martha Strauss.
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It turns out, by the way, that there's a great deal of research evidence that we are worse
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listeners than we think we are.
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There's actually an effect.
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It's called BTA, the better-than-average effect.
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I think I am a better listener than average, also known as illusory superiority.
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So, for example, most leaders believe when surveyed that they are good or very good listeners,
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most of their employees rate them as significantly lower than they rate themselves.
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So, it's a quick test for you.
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When someone is talking to you, do you make people feel that you are interested in them
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and what they have to say?
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Scale of one to four, almost never, almost always, where do you put yourself?
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Number two, when someone is talking to you, do you think about what you want to say
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while others are talking?
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Sometimes we confuse listening with waiting to speak, and they're not the same thing.
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Next question, when someone is talking, do you assume you know what someone is going
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to say before he or she is finished?
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And again, often when emotions get high and often with the people that were closest
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to where listening is needed the most, it happens the least.
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Next question, do you make judgments about who is worth listening to and who is not?
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Next question, do you think of listening as instinctive rather than as a skill
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that requires making an effort?
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Last question, do you ever pretend to be listening when you're not?
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You may be doing that right now, and I'm not even there.
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And if you're wondering, how do I score this assessment?
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The quick answer is, I got work to do.
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And so today is a chance in this season of life we joined together
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with the invitation of the Pope and especially our friend Jesus.
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His brother James, who writes in the fourth chapter, who are you to judge your neighbors?
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James writes in the first chapter, let everyone be quick to listen.
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So we just stop there, quick to listen.
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God, would you help me to listen today?
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Would you help me to be curious about other people's story?
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Would you help me to bracket this very strong tendency that I have to
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condemn and be wide open?
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There is no, no culmination.
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Thanks for joining us here at Become New.
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I'm Tim, part of the team, and I know I've got work to do.
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I was even thinking that tonight at dinner, I'm going to ask my kids,
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how do I do at listening?
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Is there someone in your life that you can ask?
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It is so easy to condemn others when we're not truly listening in order to understand.
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At Become New, we distribute 10 minute teachings every weekday, just like this one.
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To help you grow spiritually in Christ one day at a time,
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and we hope that you're not just listening to John,
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but that you're listening for the voice of the Holy Spirit who loves you
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and who is invested in the development of your character, who you're becoming.
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So what is the Holy Spirit speaking to you?
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How is he nudging, prompting, encouraging, challenging you?
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We'd love to know, and if you want to share it with us,
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you can, if you're watching on YouTube in the comments,
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you can text it, email it to us, or don't share it with us,
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share it with somebody else, but talk about it with someone.
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Things take root in our lives when we process them out loud with others.
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So we encourage you to do that as you take in these videos.
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You can subscribe to the YouTube channel,
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follow us on podcasts, or head over to Become New.com
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to get a bunch more resources that we provide
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to help you in your spiritual growth journey.
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We'll see you next time.