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educationself improvementkids
327: How to Avoid Unintentional Harm Through the Words We Speak (with Amy Hughes)
About this Episode
I am so excited to welcome Amy Hughes, author of Words Like Honey, to the studio for this episode! I want you to know this isn’t just an episode for parents of little kids. What Amy shares applies to marriages, friendships, classrooms, churches - any relationship where words matter, which is pretty much all of them. I found myself convicted not just about how I speak to my kids but about how I speak to Jesse too!
Amy is a mom of nine with kids ranging from toddlers to adults, and her life is anything but quiet or controlled. Listen as she shares how she was thrust into motherhood at 19 years old, instantly becoming a stepmom to a 6-year-old, and how observing harmful parenting patterns early on shaped her desire to do things differently. Amy didn’t initially think much about her words at all, but it was watching how her kids reacted, misunderstood, and internalized things that she never meant that changed everything for her.
We talk about how seemingly harmless phrases like “what’s wrong with you?” or “hurry up” can land very differently in a child’s mind, sometimes even leading to shame or anxiety when comfort was intended. Amy explains how small, thoughtful shifts in language can communicate empathy instead of blame and connection instead of pressure. We also talk about repair and why apologizing to our kids isn't a weakness, how humility can rebuild trust at any age, and why it’s almost never too late to begin again.
Amy and I explore how asking guiding questions instead of giving quick answers helps kids develop confidence and problem-solving skills and why letting them wrestle with hard questions (especially when it comes to faith) is not dangerous but essential. She stresses that questions should never be shamed and shares why she believes doubt and curiosity can actually strengthen faith when they’re met with safety instead of shame.
My conversation with Amy is truly honest, practical, faith-centered, and deeply human, and I strongly encourage you to go grab a copy of Amy's powerful book, and as always, I would love to hear from you, so send me an email at [email protected]!
In This Episode
[0:35] - This episode is an interview with Amy Hughes, author of Words Like Honey!
[1:49] - Amy discusses how our bustling, multigenerational household shaped her patience and parenting philosophy.
[3:39] - Becoming a stepmom at 19 pushed Amy to question parenting norms and form her own.
[5:25] - Amy reveals how witnessing a child be silenced until he wet himself cemented her refusal to silence kids.
[7:56] - Hear how Amy eventually realized that parenting differently requires intentional speech, not just different actions.
[10:01] - Amy's daughter’s long-held misunderstanding around stealing revealed how literally kids take words.
[12:48] - Hear why we shouldn’t ask our kids, “What’s wrong with you?”
[15:06] - Reframing “what’s wrong with you” into curiosity can help affirm children’s worth and help them feel heard.
[16:30] - Amy discusses how empathetic language helps children feel supported, understood, and less anxious.
[19:45] - Repair, rooted in humility and apology, can heal fractured parent-child relationships at any age.
[22:09] - I discuss how showing children our flaws models grace, forgiveness, and faith far more powerfully than attempted perfection.
[24:49] - Guiding kids with questions helps lead to confidence, critical thinking, and independence.
[27:48] - I assert that letting children struggle and try builds life skills, resilience, and self-confidence.
[30:29] - Amy highlights why it's important to not shame faith-based questions.
[32:45] - Creating space for hard questions requires courage, prayer, and curiosity!
Links & Resources
Books
Love-Centered Parenting by Crystal Paine
Social Media
Crystal Paine on Instagram (@moneysavingmom)
Crystal Paine on Instagram (@crystaliscleaning)
Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group
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Hosts & Guests
No transcript available for this episode.
