Episode 3938. Don't root against your spouse.

Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate, and renew who you are in mind, body, and spirit.

Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie, the show that help you do just that.

Here's your host, Certified Life Coach, Personal Trainer, and Nutritionist, Christian Wargo.

Happy every day! How are you doing? It's the weekend!

Raise a roof, raise a roof. Are you enjoying football? I sure am, but are your teams winning?

Well, we'll leave that for another discussion, because I can say they've been good games,

and I'll leave it at that. But one thing you've got to pay attention to is the person you're sleeping

with. Don't root against your spouse. For those of you who are brand new to Create Your Now,

welcome to this incredible family. I'm so delighted of your presence. If you already even have

the opportunity, you want to head on over to CreatureNow.com, where you can learn more and sign up for

the Kisses newsletter, the Keep It Simple Strategy, everyday solutions to live, love, and impact,

where this episode is brought to you by AIM, Inspiring Connection, and Community.

You know it's all about community and the privacy of your own four walls. It is.

And that tightest community that you need to have is between you and your spouse.

And if you're like, Christian, I'm not married. That's okay. Who are you dating? And if you're not

dating, listen, because you'll learn something to take into the next relationship when you have one.

Because here's the thing. As I'm watching football, and I know you're like, oh, here we go again.

Yeah, you know, I look at football and I come up with these ideas and illustrations and analogies.

And I'm like, wow, what would happen if we had a ref watching our relationship?

Then the privacy of our own four walls. How many flags would be thrown against you?

Because you know it's easy to get super focused on other things in life.

From the home to the family to the career to even the pets. And amid all of this noise,

the one person you vow to stand beside can sometimes fade into the background.

Goodbye. You don't mean to, but it happens. Or you just don't pay attention as much.

But I'm here to tell you that if you want a marriage that lasts, one that could withstand the

relentless pressures of life, right? Stand the test of time. There's a simple but powerful rule.

Uh-huh. And that ref's going to know it before they throw the flag. Don't root against your spouse.

Because here's the truth. It's dad gum hard to keep your spouse front and center

when every other part of your life is screaming louder. The work deadlines pile up.

The kids have endless needs, right? You're taking them to activities here and there. And it

doesn't matter if they're living with you or not. You can be an empty nester and be actually more

involved in your life and their life, which they're involved in your life. Then you ever thought they

would ever be with being an empty nester. You're like, I'm just all over the place now.

We're driving here and there and everywhere. You got bills to demand your attention. You're trying

to pay off things, saving up for this, saving for retirement. You're trying to work the system

because, well, you just don't know what the market's going to bring in somewhere in there.

You're expected to keep your own sanity intact. Good luck, right? You kind of feel that way.

I mean, let's be real. This constant barrage of responsibilities can drown out your best

intentions, making it impossible to carve out space for your partner. You're exhausted.

And rightfully so, I'm not discounting that. I'm not discounting what you're going through.

But you need to be going through life with your spouse. And that's exactly why rooting for your

spouse isn't optional. It's vital. When life yanks your focus in every direction, but one,

deliberately choosing your spouse as your priority is what separates a floundering marriage

from an incredible one. So what does rooting for your spouse even mean? You're like,

Christian, you're throwing football things at me. You got a referee in my house throwing flags.

Yeah, I do. And it came to me when I'm watching one of the CFP playoffs, right?

Yeah, it was Ole Miss and University of Miami. I'm here to tell you that I didn't always

agree with what the rest were calling. But we'll leave that for Mama Sports Center because maybe

I think I'd need to do Mama Sports Center. I think it'd be fun. Would you tune in? Hey, let me know.

But seriously, what is rooting for your spouse really mean? It means being the biggest cheerleader

in the room, the most devoted lover in the house, and the unapologetic truth teller when your

partner needs honesty the most, all of course to honor the person who said, I do alongside you.

And you might be thinking, is this even possible? Like that just seems like way out of reach.

Can two people build a marriage that not only survives, but really thrives through the ups and

downs, all the roller coasters, the changes, the moves, and the curve balls life throws at them?

Right? You and me? Yeah, well, I'm here to tell you absolutely. Yes, exclamation points,

but and this is a big, big but. You have to want it desperately enough to work for it.

And you got to be willing to put in the work. So you've got to root for your spouse daily.

That is your kiss to keep it simple strategy. Root for your spouse daily because it is a daily

choice. A commitment to your union. I mean, what have you been doing lately? How do you show up for

your spouse? Is it just high by? I love you. You send a cute little text. You send a heart emoji.

Maybe you send a gift for jiff or whatever you want to call them. There's so many different

pronunciations of those. Do you send a meme? And really, you don't know that you know the meme.

You send reels galore like, oh, here, this is cool. And you think, oh, this is going to solve all

my problems. Until you ask the question, have you been watching my reels? And they look at you

like, I don't got time for that. Yeah, no, been there. Done that. My husband sends me reels galore.

He does. And I love it. That's part of his decompressing and all of that. That's fine. But when he

knows that I'm not watching, he's like, oh, I'm like, something personal. You didn't write those.

You don't put them together. I know you want to share them with me. But honestly, I don't have time

for that. Right. But at the same time, I do have to once in a while show up. Why? Because for whatever

reason, that means something to him. Now, me personally, don't tell him. They're wasted my time.

Why do you think I'm not on social media? I would rather be sitting here talking to you

all day long or having a gathering online. I mean, that's what we're going to be doing to it.

We've got the PJ parties coming up. I'm so excited about that. We're going to be opening up

aim. I'm meeting with my team, my team, the people I hired actually, but I consider them part of

the team to complete the website so we can bring home Kairos, a free community. So we don't have to

be on Facebook and all these things because I don't like being there. Now, you could invite people

from there to come over to us. But what we talk about is real. And I don't want to plaster all over

things. I don't want you getting all these weird things that come in because all the information

is just sold, right? To marketing companies and then the companies that are buying into these

marketing companies are like, okay, well, we're going to spam him here and spam him there and spam

the next thing you know, you're like, how did I get this? It's because you used one word.

And now you've got 20 different things in your Facebook feed or your Instagram

reels, right? All about this. You're like, I wasn't talking about this at all. No, but it was

mentioned somewhere and they picked up on it. I don't want that for you because what we talk about

is real life. Your family, I'm going to protect you. I'm going to protect your story.

And so when we sit here and talk about relationships, when we sit here and talk about marriage,

what have you been doing lately for your spouse? I mean, get real. It's a new year. It's a time

for a reset. Wouldn't it be nice to fall in love all over again with your spouse? I mean,

think about that. I mean, we've got Valentine's Day coming up around the corner. I know you're

thinking, Christine, that is way too far. I understand. It's over a month the way I get it,

but you need to mark your calendar because even if they don't acknowledge it, you need to.

It takes one to start two to tango, right? One to start two to finish, which is that the whole

idea is two to tango. Yeah, yeah, you get it. Am I saying? I can't even say it right. That's because I'm

so excited about this only in the manner that you can do better. And I believe in you. So what

are the holidays look like for you as a couple? And the privacy of your own four walls with the

referee standing in there having their whole thing like, poof, you know, going to throw flag

here and all of that. Were you cheering on your husband? Were you rooting for your wife?

Were you saying, yeah, I mean, this is what I want for our family and this is awesome. Or were

you like, just get out of my face. I'm done with this. I'm so done. You probably had a mixture.

That's okay. You're human. No judgment here. I want you to be honest with yourself. But see,

that's where it leads to. We all have room to grow. We all have room to be stretched, including

me. I am not perfect. I need to be stretched too. I need to be reminded too. How can I be a spouse

who roots for my incredible husband? Because I do honestly believe he's incredible. Are I wouldn't

marry him? Has he messed up in life? Yep. Have we all messed up in life? Yep. We all make mistakes. Yep.

But why do we hang those mistakes over each other all the time? If you're only keeping track of

the negative, you will never see the positive. You won't. And that also means you're not forgiving.

And we could be here for hours. I don't want that for you. Not right now anyway. We're going to be

going through a lot of things this year. It's fun. Exciting. I'm already worn out. Not really. I'm

really excited about what 2026 has in store here at Creature Now and in your life. Because I

truly honestly mean it. I pray for you. God knows exactly where you are. And I pray that when

you come here, that you get out of it, what you're supposed to get out of it. God meets you here.

And it doesn't matter if we're talking about marriage or raising kids or being inspired to go out

and do what we're supposed to be called to do or just being willing to wake up and put our

feet on the ground and go forward in the day. Changing our thoughts. I am at your biggest cheerleader.

I am the one who prays for you. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. And so I take this

stuff seriously. Not because I think I know it all because I do not. I will never own that.

I will own that I'm not perfect. I tried perfection for many years. It doesn't fit me. Well,

even though I acted like it did and I tried to do things. But yeah, it's not good. That's not a good

control tactic at all. So how do you root for your spouse daily? What does it look like in real

life to be on the same team? Number one, show up as their loudest cheerleader.

Now, of course, I really wanted to screen that from the rooftops, okay? But if I did that,

you'd be like, Christy Ann, you just broke my eardrums. Yeah, I know. I don't want to do that,

okay? Because I want you to come back and listen to the rest of the episode. So there's not

going to be a lot of yelling here. But I want you to be the loudest cheerleader. Supporting your

spouse means genuinely celebrating their wins, big or small. Whether it's a promotion, a personal

goal, or even just getting through a tough day, right? Maybe they had someone spout off at them

at work and it just led to one thing after another. Be there for them. Be the person who amplifies

their pride, not so's doubt. And that's so easy to do. You want a marriage that thrives when

both partners, both of you, feel seen and backed up like a champion in their corner. You want to

be the champion in their corner. You want to be rooting them on because you know their integrity.

You know who they are inside and out. So show up as their loudest cheerleader. Be there for them.

Not for everything else that's going around. Yes, it's important to take care of your kids. It's

important to take care of your pets. It's important to pay the bills and do your responsibilities

and hopefully not live in dust pennies all over your house, right? You got to clean up too. But

put your marriage at the top of the list. And you're going to see some things shift in your life.

Number two, speak love and truth with equal passion. I love that. Being devoted isn't about

blind agreement. Sometimes rooting for your spouse requires the courage to hold a mirror to what's

not working delivered with kindness and respect. Are you doing that? Honesty and love means having

tough conversations that lead to growth, not division. I mean, how do you handle harder things

in your marriage? Are you one who just is like, well, you're doing this all wrong? If you would

just do it this way. Okay, that's not honesty and love. That's being a dictator and saying

your way is the best way. And if you don't do it my way, then obviously you're failing. And so

therefore that's the problem. You see the long story of it? That dissertation part of it? Yeah.

Honesty and love means having those tough conversations that inspire growth.

That doesn't lead to, I don't love you anymore. Who are you? Get out of my face. I'm just mad at you

all the time. Commit to both uplifting and challenging each other for the sake of your shared future.

Now, you're probably like our Christian. This sounds great. I'm willing. But I have a spouse who's

not great. Share this episode with them. And so you know what? This lady kind of struck me weird.

She's kind of a weird one out there. I mean, make me have to be whoever you want to be.

Say, wait, if you've got a spouse who loves football, say she even talks football on this

episode, you may actually like her. But I think we need to listen to this episode together.

Go listen to it yourself. And then let's come back and talk about this because I think it would

really help us. You see, because now I'm saying it, right? And you're not. I get to be the bad guy,

not exactly, but I get to be your cheerleader for your marriage. Because marriage is incredible.

And it can get better. The older you get, I promise you. But you have to put in the work. And I'm

telling you that because I've walked it. I've walked it. I've had the tornado in life.

I've had the thing where my husband came and said, I'm done with you. Okay, not those words. He

said, I've fallen out of love. Maybe you've heard those words too. Maybe the same sentence

or in a different manner. However, it's been said to you, however, it's been shown to you, it hurts.

And it immediately creates a division, the thickest wall that you could ever have. It's immediately

present. And to come off of that away from that and be more in love now than when we said, I do

now over 32 years ago, we've been together over 35 and a half. It'll be what 30 or is it 35 and

half, 36 years, something like that? I'm losing track. We've been together a really long time. Okay,

we've been together. We've been through thick and thin. But it's been a commitment.

Commit to uplifting and challenging each other. Share your life together. Being married isn't about

dictation, right? It's not being that dictator. It's not saying you will submit to me. That's for

all another conversation because that's not what it says. And you know if you're from a Christian

perspective, you're like, oh, but have you read the Bible? Oh, yes, I have. Go back and read it.

That's not what it says. So be very careful about what you spew from your mouth.

Because what comes from the mouth comes from the heart.

Gouch. I know. I told you I'm going to be real today. I'm real all the time with you because I care.

I care. And I want your marriage to be electrifying, not because you're mad at each other,

not because you hate each other, but because you are deeply madly in love for each other and you

want to do life together. No, it's not going to be perfect. Yes, you're going to have disagreements.

You're not always going to agree, but for the most part, you're going to enjoy doing life together,

growing old together. I love seeing the 70, 80, 90 year olds that are still together holding

hands, walking very slowly, maybe one hunched over the other one not. And then all of a sudden,

it's like, wow, like they never lost their spark. Let me tell you, if you were to talk to every

single one of those couples, they would tell you it didn't come easy. It took work.

And it was a daily choice to love every day. You see, love is an action verb, right? It requires

action. It's a verb. It's not just a feeling. All this thing, I'm not in love with you anymore.

Oh, bah humbug. Yeah, we're past the holidays, but now we get into this whole thing of like,

oh, well, you know, should it be like this or should it be like that?

Get out of your mind what marriage looks like to you and to you alone and actually

determine, together, what your marriage is going to be. And then finally, number three,

prioritize your spouse when everything else competes for their attention.

You know, life demands are real. Time and energy, whew, the older you get, the faster you get tired,

right? You get drained fast. But nobody else should ever come before your spouse, not your career,

not your hobbies, not even your kids, rooting for your partner. The one you said I do to

mean showing up consistently and making them a priority, even when it's inconvenient. And that's

the most important time when it's inconvenient. That steady devotion is what builds trust and resilience.

It's like, okay, I'm going to show up again. I'm going to show up again. I can do this.

And some people are like, well, Christine, I mean, I'm tired and, you know, all the

ones is this intimacy level and all the, okay, I get that. We're not going to go into that, right?

But I understand intimacy. There's all different levels. But if you know each other,

you trust each other, then you can have that honest conversation and be like, you know, babe,

I love you, but I can't do much more. My eyelids are done. Like I have got to rest.

So can we just hold hands tonight? Can we just snuggle? And I know that sounds kind of weird, but

when you have a level of communication, when you're rooting for your spouse, not against your

spouse all the time, because if you're this naysayer in their life, do you think that they want what

you want? Of course not. But they're going to be more apt to wanting what you want. When you are

tired and exhausted, because you show up for them, even when it's inconvenient.

So prioritize them when everything else competes for your attention and their attention.

You know, rooting against your spouse is like rooting against your own team. Yeah, we're going back

to football. It's a slow bleed that eventually fractures what could have been unbreakable.

But rooting for them, it feels a marriage that can endure storms. Embrace changes and come out

stronger on the other side. And that's where you want to be. See, my husband and I, we've had

some ups and downs this past 18 months or so. And if I could give you all the details, you would

probably, honestly, sit there and go, holy cow, Christian, I had no idea. How did you show up

for us every single day? Because I made a commitment. You know, we're almost up to 4,000 episodes.

I don't take that lightly. And not by numbers where we are now, because technically this is

episode 3938, right? 3938. But we have about 45 to 50 episodes that are not numbered because of

how we, I first started things way back when, oh my goodness, that was a long time ago. I don't

know what, think about how long ago it was. But when I think about that commitment, right, of coming

and showing up every single day for you all, how should it be any different for you to show up

in your marriage every day for the one you said, you know, hey, I love you.

Let me think about it. Because often we just kind of go through life because we want to take

the easy road. It's nice to have an easy golden road. But that easy golden road can get kind of bumpy

sometimes. When we think we're going to visit the wizard, the wizard doesn't have all the answers.

All right, he's just this little guy behind a curtain. The thing was at the end of all of it, right,

was what was in Dorothy's heart. She could have always gone back home. You can have an incredible

marriage that endures the test of time that can handle any storm, health, finances, kids,

what's happening in their lives. I mean, everything and anything. You can weather it all.

But you have to root for your spouse. I promise you it's within your reach. But that means you

have a fierce choice every day to stand with your spouse, not against them. So are you ready? Are

you ready to be the spouse, right? Who suits up? Who's ready to play on the team, loud and proud.

The one who built a living legacy, not just a life. This isn't about just a season on the football

field. It's about a living legacy that will go on and on forever. Because if you are, I'm telling you

right now, the marriage you dreamed of isn't just possible. It's inevitable. Go in peace,

be present, be incredible, be you. I love you so very much. I cannot wait to see you on the other

side. Blotting tugs and lots and lots of love. We'll talk to you real soon. Hey, have a glorious

weekend. Enjoy the playoff games, both college and NFL. And I hope your teams win. We'll talk to you

soon. Love you lots. Bye-bye. Feeling inspired and ready to train for life and love your journey,

visit createyournow.com for more incredible resources to help you along the way. We'll see

you next time on Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie. And remember, always be sure you consult

your physician before beginning any health and fitness plan.