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Episode 3938. Don't root against your spouse.
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Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate, and renew who you are in mind, body, and spirit.
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Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie, the show that help you do just that.
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Here's your host, Certified Life Coach, Personal Trainer, and Nutritionist, Christian Wargo.
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Happy every day! How are you doing? It's the weekend!
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Raise a roof, raise a roof. Are you enjoying football? I sure am, but are your teams winning?
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Well, we'll leave that for another discussion, because I can say they've been good games,
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and I'll leave it at that. But one thing you've got to pay attention to is the person you're sleeping
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with. Don't root against your spouse. For those of you who are brand new to Create Your Now,
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welcome to this incredible family. I'm so delighted of your presence. If you already even have
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the opportunity, you want to head on over to CreatureNow.com, where you can learn more and sign up for
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the Kisses newsletter, the Keep It Simple Strategy, everyday solutions to live, love, and impact,
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where this episode is brought to you by AIM, Inspiring Connection, and Community.
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You know it's all about community and the privacy of your own four walls. It is.
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And that tightest community that you need to have is between you and your spouse.
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And if you're like, Christian, I'm not married. That's okay. Who are you dating? And if you're not
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dating, listen, because you'll learn something to take into the next relationship when you have one.
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Because here's the thing. As I'm watching football, and I know you're like, oh, here we go again.
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Yeah, you know, I look at football and I come up with these ideas and illustrations and analogies.
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And I'm like, wow, what would happen if we had a ref watching our relationship?
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Then the privacy of our own four walls. How many flags would be thrown against you?
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Because you know it's easy to get super focused on other things in life.
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From the home to the family to the career to even the pets. And amid all of this noise,
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the one person you vow to stand beside can sometimes fade into the background.
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Goodbye. You don't mean to, but it happens. Or you just don't pay attention as much.
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But I'm here to tell you that if you want a marriage that lasts, one that could withstand the
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relentless pressures of life, right? Stand the test of time. There's a simple but powerful rule.
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Uh-huh. And that ref's going to know it before they throw the flag. Don't root against your spouse.
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Because here's the truth. It's dad gum hard to keep your spouse front and center
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when every other part of your life is screaming louder. The work deadlines pile up.
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The kids have endless needs, right? You're taking them to activities here and there. And it
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doesn't matter if they're living with you or not. You can be an empty nester and be actually more
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involved in your life and their life, which they're involved in your life. Then you ever thought they
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would ever be with being an empty nester. You're like, I'm just all over the place now.
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We're driving here and there and everywhere. You got bills to demand your attention. You're trying
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to pay off things, saving up for this, saving for retirement. You're trying to work the system
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because, well, you just don't know what the market's going to bring in somewhere in there.
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You're expected to keep your own sanity intact. Good luck, right? You kind of feel that way.
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I mean, let's be real. This constant barrage of responsibilities can drown out your best
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intentions, making it impossible to carve out space for your partner. You're exhausted.
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And rightfully so, I'm not discounting that. I'm not discounting what you're going through.
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But you need to be going through life with your spouse. And that's exactly why rooting for your
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spouse isn't optional. It's vital. When life yanks your focus in every direction, but one,
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deliberately choosing your spouse as your priority is what separates a floundering marriage
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from an incredible one. So what does rooting for your spouse even mean? You're like,
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Christian, you're throwing football things at me. You got a referee in my house throwing flags.
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Yeah, I do. And it came to me when I'm watching one of the CFP playoffs, right?
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Yeah, it was Ole Miss and University of Miami. I'm here to tell you that I didn't always
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agree with what the rest were calling. But we'll leave that for Mama Sports Center because maybe
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I think I'd need to do Mama Sports Center. I think it'd be fun. Would you tune in? Hey, let me know.
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But seriously, what is rooting for your spouse really mean? It means being the biggest cheerleader
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in the room, the most devoted lover in the house, and the unapologetic truth teller when your
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partner needs honesty the most, all of course to honor the person who said, I do alongside you.
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And you might be thinking, is this even possible? Like that just seems like way out of reach.
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Can two people build a marriage that not only survives, but really thrives through the ups and
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downs, all the roller coasters, the changes, the moves, and the curve balls life throws at them?
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Right? You and me? Yeah, well, I'm here to tell you absolutely. Yes, exclamation points,
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but and this is a big, big but. You have to want it desperately enough to work for it.
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And you got to be willing to put in the work. So you've got to root for your spouse daily.
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That is your kiss to keep it simple strategy. Root for your spouse daily because it is a daily
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choice. A commitment to your union. I mean, what have you been doing lately? How do you show up for
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your spouse? Is it just high by? I love you. You send a cute little text. You send a heart emoji.
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Maybe you send a gift for jiff or whatever you want to call them. There's so many different
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pronunciations of those. Do you send a meme? And really, you don't know that you know the meme.
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You send reels galore like, oh, here, this is cool. And you think, oh, this is going to solve all
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my problems. Until you ask the question, have you been watching my reels? And they look at you
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like, I don't got time for that. Yeah, no, been there. Done that. My husband sends me reels galore.
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He does. And I love it. That's part of his decompressing and all of that. That's fine. But when he
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knows that I'm not watching, he's like, oh, I'm like, something personal. You didn't write those.
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You don't put them together. I know you want to share them with me. But honestly, I don't have time
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for that. Right. But at the same time, I do have to once in a while show up. Why? Because for whatever
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reason, that means something to him. Now, me personally, don't tell him. They're wasted my time.
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Why do you think I'm not on social media? I would rather be sitting here talking to you
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all day long or having a gathering online. I mean, that's what we're going to be doing to it.
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We've got the PJ parties coming up. I'm so excited about that. We're going to be opening up
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aim. I'm meeting with my team, my team, the people I hired actually, but I consider them part of
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the team to complete the website so we can bring home Kairos, a free community. So we don't have to
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be on Facebook and all these things because I don't like being there. Now, you could invite people
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from there to come over to us. But what we talk about is real. And I don't want to plaster all over
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things. I don't want you getting all these weird things that come in because all the information
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is just sold, right? To marketing companies and then the companies that are buying into these
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marketing companies are like, okay, well, we're going to spam him here and spam him there and spam
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the next thing you know, you're like, how did I get this? It's because you used one word.
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And now you've got 20 different things in your Facebook feed or your Instagram
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reels, right? All about this. You're like, I wasn't talking about this at all. No, but it was
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mentioned somewhere and they picked up on it. I don't want that for you because what we talk about
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is real life. Your family, I'm going to protect you. I'm going to protect your story.
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And so when we sit here and talk about relationships, when we sit here and talk about marriage,
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what have you been doing lately for your spouse? I mean, get real. It's a new year. It's a time
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for a reset. Wouldn't it be nice to fall in love all over again with your spouse? I mean,
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think about that. I mean, we've got Valentine's Day coming up around the corner. I know you're
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thinking, Christine, that is way too far. I understand. It's over a month the way I get it,
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but you need to mark your calendar because even if they don't acknowledge it, you need to.
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It takes one to start two to tango, right? One to start two to finish, which is that the whole
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idea is two to tango. Yeah, yeah, you get it. Am I saying? I can't even say it right. That's because I'm
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so excited about this only in the manner that you can do better. And I believe in you. So what
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are the holidays look like for you as a couple? And the privacy of your own four walls with the
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referee standing in there having their whole thing like, poof, you know, going to throw flag
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here and all of that. Were you cheering on your husband? Were you rooting for your wife?
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Were you saying, yeah, I mean, this is what I want for our family and this is awesome. Or were
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you like, just get out of my face. I'm done with this. I'm so done. You probably had a mixture.
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That's okay. You're human. No judgment here. I want you to be honest with yourself. But see,
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that's where it leads to. We all have room to grow. We all have room to be stretched, including
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me. I am not perfect. I need to be stretched too. I need to be reminded too. How can I be a spouse
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who roots for my incredible husband? Because I do honestly believe he's incredible. Are I wouldn't
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marry him? Has he messed up in life? Yep. Have we all messed up in life? Yep. We all make mistakes. Yep.
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But why do we hang those mistakes over each other all the time? If you're only keeping track of
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the negative, you will never see the positive. You won't. And that also means you're not forgiving.
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And we could be here for hours. I don't want that for you. Not right now anyway. We're going to be
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going through a lot of things this year. It's fun. Exciting. I'm already worn out. Not really. I'm
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really excited about what 2026 has in store here at Creature Now and in your life. Because I
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truly honestly mean it. I pray for you. God knows exactly where you are. And I pray that when
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you come here, that you get out of it, what you're supposed to get out of it. God meets you here.
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And it doesn't matter if we're talking about marriage or raising kids or being inspired to go out
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and do what we're supposed to be called to do or just being willing to wake up and put our
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feet on the ground and go forward in the day. Changing our thoughts. I am at your biggest cheerleader.
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I am the one who prays for you. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. And so I take this
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stuff seriously. Not because I think I know it all because I do not. I will never own that.
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I will own that I'm not perfect. I tried perfection for many years. It doesn't fit me. Well,
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even though I acted like it did and I tried to do things. But yeah, it's not good. That's not a good
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control tactic at all. So how do you root for your spouse daily? What does it look like in real
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life to be on the same team? Number one, show up as their loudest cheerleader.
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Now, of course, I really wanted to screen that from the rooftops, okay? But if I did that,
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you'd be like, Christy Ann, you just broke my eardrums. Yeah, I know. I don't want to do that,
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okay? Because I want you to come back and listen to the rest of the episode. So there's not
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going to be a lot of yelling here. But I want you to be the loudest cheerleader. Supporting your
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spouse means genuinely celebrating their wins, big or small. Whether it's a promotion, a personal
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goal, or even just getting through a tough day, right? Maybe they had someone spout off at them
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at work and it just led to one thing after another. Be there for them. Be the person who amplifies
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their pride, not so's doubt. And that's so easy to do. You want a marriage that thrives when
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both partners, both of you, feel seen and backed up like a champion in their corner. You want to
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be the champion in their corner. You want to be rooting them on because you know their integrity.
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You know who they are inside and out. So show up as their loudest cheerleader. Be there for them.
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Not for everything else that's going around. Yes, it's important to take care of your kids. It's
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important to take care of your pets. It's important to pay the bills and do your responsibilities
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and hopefully not live in dust pennies all over your house, right? You got to clean up too. But
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put your marriage at the top of the list. And you're going to see some things shift in your life.
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Number two, speak love and truth with equal passion. I love that. Being devoted isn't about
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blind agreement. Sometimes rooting for your spouse requires the courage to hold a mirror to what's
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not working delivered with kindness and respect. Are you doing that? Honesty and love means having
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tough conversations that lead to growth, not division. I mean, how do you handle harder things
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in your marriage? Are you one who just is like, well, you're doing this all wrong? If you would
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just do it this way. Okay, that's not honesty and love. That's being a dictator and saying
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your way is the best way. And if you don't do it my way, then obviously you're failing. And so
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therefore that's the problem. You see the long story of it? That dissertation part of it? Yeah.
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Honesty and love means having those tough conversations that inspire growth.
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That doesn't lead to, I don't love you anymore. Who are you? Get out of my face. I'm just mad at you
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all the time. Commit to both uplifting and challenging each other for the sake of your shared future.
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Now, you're probably like our Christian. This sounds great. I'm willing. But I have a spouse who's
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not great. Share this episode with them. And so you know what? This lady kind of struck me weird.
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She's kind of a weird one out there. I mean, make me have to be whoever you want to be.
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Say, wait, if you've got a spouse who loves football, say she even talks football on this
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episode, you may actually like her. But I think we need to listen to this episode together.
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Go listen to it yourself. And then let's come back and talk about this because I think it would
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really help us. You see, because now I'm saying it, right? And you're not. I get to be the bad guy,
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not exactly, but I get to be your cheerleader for your marriage. Because marriage is incredible.
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And it can get better. The older you get, I promise you. But you have to put in the work. And I'm
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telling you that because I've walked it. I've walked it. I've had the tornado in life.
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I've had the thing where my husband came and said, I'm done with you. Okay, not those words. He
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said, I've fallen out of love. Maybe you've heard those words too. Maybe the same sentence
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or in a different manner. However, it's been said to you, however, it's been shown to you, it hurts.
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And it immediately creates a division, the thickest wall that you could ever have. It's immediately
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present. And to come off of that away from that and be more in love now than when we said, I do
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now over 32 years ago, we've been together over 35 and a half. It'll be what 30 or is it 35 and
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half, 36 years, something like that? I'm losing track. We've been together a really long time. Okay,
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we've been together. We've been through thick and thin. But it's been a commitment.
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Commit to uplifting and challenging each other. Share your life together. Being married isn't about
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dictation, right? It's not being that dictator. It's not saying you will submit to me. That's for
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all another conversation because that's not what it says. And you know if you're from a Christian
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perspective, you're like, oh, but have you read the Bible? Oh, yes, I have. Go back and read it.
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That's not what it says. So be very careful about what you spew from your mouth.
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Because what comes from the mouth comes from the heart.
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Gouch. I know. I told you I'm going to be real today. I'm real all the time with you because I care.
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I care. And I want your marriage to be electrifying, not because you're mad at each other,
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not because you hate each other, but because you are deeply madly in love for each other and you
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want to do life together. No, it's not going to be perfect. Yes, you're going to have disagreements.
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You're not always going to agree, but for the most part, you're going to enjoy doing life together,
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growing old together. I love seeing the 70, 80, 90 year olds that are still together holding
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hands, walking very slowly, maybe one hunched over the other one not. And then all of a sudden,
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it's like, wow, like they never lost their spark. Let me tell you, if you were to talk to every
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single one of those couples, they would tell you it didn't come easy. It took work.
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And it was a daily choice to love every day. You see, love is an action verb, right? It requires
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action. It's a verb. It's not just a feeling. All this thing, I'm not in love with you anymore.
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Oh, bah humbug. Yeah, we're past the holidays, but now we get into this whole thing of like,
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oh, well, you know, should it be like this or should it be like that?
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Get out of your mind what marriage looks like to you and to you alone and actually
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determine, together, what your marriage is going to be. And then finally, number three,
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prioritize your spouse when everything else competes for their attention.
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You know, life demands are real. Time and energy, whew, the older you get, the faster you get tired,
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right? You get drained fast. But nobody else should ever come before your spouse, not your career,
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not your hobbies, not even your kids, rooting for your partner. The one you said I do to
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mean showing up consistently and making them a priority, even when it's inconvenient. And that's
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the most important time when it's inconvenient. That steady devotion is what builds trust and resilience.
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It's like, okay, I'm going to show up again. I'm going to show up again. I can do this.
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And some people are like, well, Christine, I mean, I'm tired and, you know, all the
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ones is this intimacy level and all the, okay, I get that. We're not going to go into that, right?
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But I understand intimacy. There's all different levels. But if you know each other,
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you trust each other, then you can have that honest conversation and be like, you know, babe,
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I love you, but I can't do much more. My eyelids are done. Like I have got to rest.
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So can we just hold hands tonight? Can we just snuggle? And I know that sounds kind of weird, but
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when you have a level of communication, when you're rooting for your spouse, not against your
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spouse all the time, because if you're this naysayer in their life, do you think that they want what
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you want? Of course not. But they're going to be more apt to wanting what you want. When you are
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tired and exhausted, because you show up for them, even when it's inconvenient.
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So prioritize them when everything else competes for your attention and their attention.
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You know, rooting against your spouse is like rooting against your own team. Yeah, we're going back
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to football. It's a slow bleed that eventually fractures what could have been unbreakable.
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But rooting for them, it feels a marriage that can endure storms. Embrace changes and come out
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stronger on the other side. And that's where you want to be. See, my husband and I, we've had
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some ups and downs this past 18 months or so. And if I could give you all the details, you would
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probably, honestly, sit there and go, holy cow, Christian, I had no idea. How did you show up
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for us every single day? Because I made a commitment. You know, we're almost up to 4,000 episodes.
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I don't take that lightly. And not by numbers where we are now, because technically this is
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episode 3938, right? 3938. But we have about 45 to 50 episodes that are not numbered because of
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how we, I first started things way back when, oh my goodness, that was a long time ago. I don't
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know what, think about how long ago it was. But when I think about that commitment, right, of coming
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and showing up every single day for you all, how should it be any different for you to show up
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in your marriage every day for the one you said, you know, hey, I love you.
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Let me think about it. Because often we just kind of go through life because we want to take
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the easy road. It's nice to have an easy golden road. But that easy golden road can get kind of bumpy
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sometimes. When we think we're going to visit the wizard, the wizard doesn't have all the answers.
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All right, he's just this little guy behind a curtain. The thing was at the end of all of it, right,
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was what was in Dorothy's heart. She could have always gone back home. You can have an incredible
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marriage that endures the test of time that can handle any storm, health, finances, kids,
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what's happening in their lives. I mean, everything and anything. You can weather it all.
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But you have to root for your spouse. I promise you it's within your reach. But that means you
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have a fierce choice every day to stand with your spouse, not against them. So are you ready? Are
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you ready to be the spouse, right? Who suits up? Who's ready to play on the team, loud and proud.
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The one who built a living legacy, not just a life. This isn't about just a season on the football
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field. It's about a living legacy that will go on and on forever. Because if you are, I'm telling you
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right now, the marriage you dreamed of isn't just possible. It's inevitable. Go in peace,
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be present, be incredible, be you. I love you so very much. I cannot wait to see you on the other
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side. Blotting tugs and lots and lots of love. We'll talk to you real soon. Hey, have a glorious
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weekend. Enjoy the playoff games, both college and NFL. And I hope your teams win. We'll talk to you
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soon. Love you lots. Bye-bye. Feeling inspired and ready to train for life and love your journey,
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visit createyournow.com for more incredible resources to help you along the way. We'll see
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you next time on Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie. And remember, always be sure you consult
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your physician before beginning any health and fitness plan.