Episode 3965, Red Zone Parenting.

Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate and renew who you are in mind, body, and spirit.

Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie, the show that help you do just that.

Here's your host, Certified Life Coach, personal trainer, and nutritionist, Kristian Warno.

Happy every day, it's Friday, so you better get excited.

And yes, because the weekend is here, that means what?

You got the Super Bowl, you got the Olympics, you've got basketball.

What more could anybody want?

Okay, maybe your family?

Oh yes, it's confession of an upset mama, Red Zone Parenting.

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I'm so delighted to be your presence.

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Well, I don't know if you can tell, but I have a smile on my face because it is Friday, yay!

And maybe, just maybe, our snow and ice is beginning to melt.

Now, that is like a high five celebration AIMN, raise the roof type of a

celebration. I mean, seriously, that's better than even the Super Bowl, because I'm tired

of shoveling snow. I'm tired of the two and a half to three inches of ice

that I'm trying to get off my driveway. It is ridiculous.

And yes, even though I have a big family, none of them are around right now to help me.

They'll live in their lives, which is what they're supposed to do.

But still, really, anyway, yes, oh, the things that we do in life, right?

And sometimes I think we just have to laugh a little bit more in order to enjoy life a little bit more.

We can take ourselves too seriously, and I think, you know, I could go into a soapbox here,

but a lot of us are taking ourselves too seriously, right? Just turn on the news.

And I think we've got to be careful. I think we've got to find the connection and the humanity

within each other again. And honestly, that starts within the privacy of your own four walls,

your family. Sometimes the craziest stuff is happening in your own four walls.

And that honestly should be your mission, not to make your four walls in that area crazy.

I'm not saying that. That's not a good idea. Make it fun. Yes, but not crazy.

But yes, that is your mission, that's your mission field initially, and then being able

to have your hard work overflow from there. You know, parenting is like a truly like running a

red zone play in football, right? You know it. Come on, it's super bowl time. The stakes are sky high.

The pressure is just crushing, and every move matters more than usual. You're tired,

you're stretched thin, you're like, oh my gosh, the clock is against me. And the margin for

air fills paper thin. It's that relentless zone where kids need you most, but sometimes in red

zone parenting, you just want to drop the playbook and cry. Ever been there? Ever done that? Oh yeah,

I think we all have been. And in fact, it's one of those things where you're like,

isn't even possible to get to the other side of this. Because being a great parent doesn't mean

you have to be perfect yet, yet, I think a lot of us try to be perfect. And we're not going to be,

right? We can't look at ourselves as perfect, but that doesn't give us a built-in excuse not to try.

Okay, so be careful of both sides. The real power comes from showing up as you are.

Flod, vulnerable, exhausted. Yes, it all happens. And still choosing love and presence.

Right? It's like, oh, why don't we just take a page out of God's book? Right? Unconditional love and

presence. Ultimately, that's what we need. That's what our kids need. And we're just so busy.

You know, I've been traveling a lot. I've been telling you like, I'm traveling like every three

or four days. And I'm spending time with my grandbabies and I'm spending time with my other kiddos.

And I'm just all over the map. It seems like. But when I get to my destination, I make sure I'm present.

Because otherwise, you're going to find yourself just running in circles. And you're going to be

worse than the hamsters in a hamster cage on the wheel. You are. And I want you to think about

this too. You know, when you admit, hey, man, I'm overwhelmed or I don't have it all figured out.

You're not falling apart. You know, when you have these honest conversations with your kiddos and

you're like, I just, I don't know how to respond to this right now. Like in this moment, I can't

tell you what I'm thinking because my mind is all over the map. You're teaching your kids resilience,

authenticity and unconditional love. That honesty is the kind of strength that sticks. That's the

sticky stuff that you want. That's what you want to show them because there's going to be a time

in their life that they need to be resilient. They need to be authentic. And they know even though

they may not have all the answers, they may not be perfect. They may not even get on the team.

They still can show up in a manner that only they can. Maybe you've been holding it together

with duct tape and sure willpower. Huh, how many times, right? Well, today, tomorrow and the

next Lord willing, I want you to take this permission slip to be real with yourself. Embrace the

messiness and give yourself grace in the chaos. That is your kiss to keep a simple strategy. Give

yourself grace in the chaos because it's there. The messiness happens, right? There's messiness in the

middle. And sometimes we want to like just make it all even. Even if it's messy, we just want

everything to at least kind of add up. Want some semblance of order, but in parenting? Oh,

I don't know about you, but there should be a parenting book that says there is no order to

parenting. Flexibility is the key because every moment is different. You don't know if your kids

are going to be barking at you because they're just mad as I'll get out or if they're going to

tell you that you're the most adorable nicest mama ever and they wouldn't trade you for anything.

And you're like, can I have that moment every day? It'd be nice, but it doesn't happen that way,

does it? You know, ultimately, parenting's toughest moments aren't failures. They're the red zone

plays where character is built. It's those tough times. It's the time where you find yourself speechless.

It's a time where you find your blood pressure just rising so slowly that you literally can feel

each drop of blood running through your veins. Been there? I know you have been me too.

And it's real. It's the real deal. And sometimes I think red zone parenting would be even better

if we were all, you know, in our garb like the football players. We had our pads on,

we had helmet on. It's like, okay, I'm all in. We got this. Ready? Set. Like. And we go for it.

But in all honesty, it's like even if we did that, it wouldn't solve everybody's problems.

It wouldn't solve your problem. It definitely wouldn't solve your kids problem.

So what does it look like in real life when you're in the middle of the red zone? Right? How can you

give yourself grace in that chaos? Number one, journal, honestly. Reflection is a really big deal.

Too many times we're just always going forward. It's that hamster wheel. I got to keep going,

I got to keep going, I got to keep going. And it's not even the, I think I can tutu train,

even though he's adorable. It's not that. It's, I've got to move on to the next thing.

We're scrolling as fast as we have forgotten. Oh, that's a good one. Mark that one down.

We're scrolling as fast as we've forgotten because we're not ever in the moment.

So what if you were to pause and reflect on a moment recently when the pressure hit hard and

you felt ready to lose it? Come on, gather that thought for a moment. And it may not be anything

that you acted out on. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying you yelled at your child or

you sent this horrible text to one of your older kiddos. Just grab that moment that says,

gosh, I really felt it like I felt the blood running through my veins.

Now I want you to think about this. Think about how your love, patient, or strength showed up,

even if it felt small. Maybe what it was just that initial pause.

Maybe you turned your back for just a moment to breathe. And in that split second of a moment,

you were able to turn back around and address your child appropriately.

You see, this isn't about spending a sad story. It's not about, oh my goodness, you know,

I wasn't that great, but I'm going to find this little nugget. No, it's about recognizing that

in the toughest moments, you still brought something valuable. Mama, I know you need to hear that.

Even though life doesn't always go your way, in fact, most days don't, because your kids are

going to test you. They test me. And I'll mine our older now. And then I have grand babies now

that test me. I have grand dogs that test me. And then you have the world that test you, right? And

then you have the husband you're thinking, this is just too much, it's too much, it's too much.

So give yourself a moment to reflect and allow yourself to say, you know what? Okay.

It didn't go like I hoped it would, but I think we still got something valuable out of it.

I was able to bring something to the table. My child was fill in the blank.

So journal, honestly, number two set boundaries. Identify one parent in her household

responsibility that's truly sucking you dry. And say no or delegate it guilt free. Okay.

Maybe you may be in this red zone season that you just need to take a break from something.

And it may not be for anything real long, but it's something, right? So take away some of that

pressure. Notice how just shifting one thing can lighten your load. Boundaries aren't selfish

their survival. Sometimes it holds you in, right? It holds yourself together because you're like,

I'm all over the place. I find myself saying this quite often. Man, if my head was not attached to

me, I don't know where it would be because I am literally going non-stop. And there are times

I'm like, oh, I need to slow down. So set boundaries that give you that moment. And then filing

number three, say yes to you. Carve out 15 minutes on your calendar for yourself. Read, breathe,

stretch, step outside. Just go to the mailbox. Even if you already got the mail or for our problem

right now that we're having, our trash and mail has been picked up or delivered. However, you look

at it in like almost two weeks because we've had so much problems. Our kids are like nine days out

of school. It's been crazy out down here in the South. That's okay. You can still take a walk

outside. Even the mail isn't being delivered, right? No apologies. No multitasking.

I love that you want to listen to me, but don't take your phone with me with you with me.

Yeah, take me with your phone. No, don't take your phone with you so you can listen to me or anything

else or to look or to scroll. Put stuff away. Allow yourself to be present with you.

Fill your own body and treat this appointment as a non-negotiable because if you don't refill

your own well, every red zone moment will fill impossible. My good friend and mentor and coach

and you name it, he fell into that category, Dan Miller. He was one that said, you know,

you can't serve from an empty cup and you can't. And parents, you definitely can't do that.

Come on, mama. Sometimes our biggest confession is saying, I can't do this right now.

And maybe that's the one thing to take off your list. I can't because well, I can't. You don't

need to have anything else attached to it. You just can't. Maybe you still have your Christmas

tree up. Guilty is charged. No big deal. It's not the Super Bowl yet. My thing is, is if it's

up in March, go ahead and decorate it for Easter. Seriously. And my grandson says he wants it up

until next year. I'm like, bonus. I can leave it up for two years in a row. Yes, I'll take it.

But in all seriousness, right? When the red zone hits and you know it does because it has hit you.

And if you're out of a red zone right now, great, but you might be going into one soon.

Remember, you're not alone and you don't have to be perfect.

When you show up with your unconditional love and your presence, you are giving something valuable

to your child. No matter their age, no matter their age. And you're willing this to show up

authentically, testing your limits and asking for what you need is the play that wins every time.

So, what do you think you'd feel like on a big football field? The real football field.

In the Super Bowl, with your family there, you got the ball, mom, who you're throwing it to.

Which kids going to catch it? Think about it. You can do whatever you set your mind to.

Don't devalue yourself. Make sure you're adding value to your own thoughts so that you can serve

others with your own valuable actions. Go on peace. Be present. Be incredible. Be you.

I love you so very much. I cannot wait to see you on the other side.

Blessing tugs and lots of lots of love. We'll talk to you real soon. Have a glorious blessed weekend.

Oh, enjoy the Super Bowl. Who are you rooting for? I want to know. Tell me.

And you'll have to fix it. We got this. Love you.

Feeling inspired and ready to train for life and love your journey.

Visit createyournow.com for more incredible resources to help you along the way.

We'll see you next time on Create Your Now Your Best Selfie.

And remember, always be sure you consult your physician before beginning any health and fitness plan.