Episode 3982, The Walls of Comparison.

Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate, and renew who you are in mind body and spirit.

Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie, the show that help you do just that.

Here's your host, Certified Life Coach, Personal Trainer, and Nutritionist, Christian Wardo.

Happy every day, I hope you're ready for an extraordinary week because you're right,

whatever you set your mind to, that's just going to show up. Attitude, how you present yourself,

but you know what happens? What do you do with The Walls of Comparison?

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So, I really want you to be honest with yourself as we go through this today.

How would you think about how am I showing up? What does this look like for me?

And I want you to see, are you looking at, oh, but she does this or he does that.

Where are you trying to change the rails that you're on and switching it to somebody else?

Because you know, we build walls around ourselves thinking they're shields.

We want to keep others out to guard our weaknesses and doubts. We really don't want anybody peaking in

on where we're not good.

Right, think about when it comes to whether you win or lose. Are you one who always has to win?

Or is it okay to lose to and to learn more? You see what happens when walls are built up,

they don't protect you. We're talking about the walls of comparison, right?

They don't protect you. They actually keep you locked in.

And when you have this dream or goal that demands stepping outside your comfort zone,

which honestly, if you have a dream, most likely that is going to require hard work.

Whatever it is, you're going to face more than fear and uncertainty. You face a trap of comparison,

looking side to side. Now, you may be wondering, Kristian, we've talked about this. We know it exists.

Then why are you still in it? Seriously. Does it matter your age? Does it matter your gender?

We get stuck in comparison so often.

Let me throw kind of a tizzy into all of this because I told you I want you to be honest.

If you're one who goes to church, I'm going to make the assumption that you are. When you go to church,

do you wonder what somebody else is thinking about you? Or are you looking at them wondering,

why wonder what she's doing or whatever goes through your mind? Be honest. Be honest.

We've all done it. I have. But you see, that's the problem. We're inventing our way

to not accomplishing what God has in store for us. Now, you can look at this from a perspective of

in the workplace, in your own home, in your own family. Do you look side to side at your brothers

and sisters? Do you look at your mom? Do you look at your dad? Maybe you even look at your dog.

Now, I know that's a stretch, but seriously, maybe you have this thing where I don't get the attention,

but my puppy dog does. That's a real deal. I'm not saying it's your deal, but it's a real thing.

And so when we peer at what everyone else is doing and forget what we alone bring to the table,

we're leaving so much behind. Our gifts, talents and unique value get left behind because we're too busy

measuring ourselves against shadows, not our own path. We're worried and consumed by everybody else.

Now, let me interject this for a moment. If you are looking side to side, let's say you're looking

specifically because you are going up another company who has really the same product as you.

If you're looking at that and you're doing that kind of comparison, that's a different conversation.

If you are the CEO of a company and you're modeling after another company, so long as you're looking at

it just side by side, that's not a big deal, but it's when you're trying to be someone you're not.

And it's not just about being a masquerade ball and attending that and putting your mask on and

saying, this is who I want to be and I'm going to pretend until I make it, right? Fake it until I make

it. We've all heard that. None of that gets us anywhere fast. But you see, all of it comes under

the file folder of comparison. And quite frankly, why do we get stuck on what others are doing,

what others are thinking, what others are saying? But more than we admit, it's a way to dodge

accountability. Okay, let that punch hit you just for a moment. It's a way to dodge accountability.

When you're locked into looking at someone else's scorecards, seeing how they're doing in their

life, you can blame your own stall on. Well, I'm just not as lucky. I don't have as many resources.

You know, I didn't have the dad that she had or whatever the case may be. It's a built-in excuse,

a safety net woven from envy and doubt. Now, maybe you're saying, well, I don't want to say envy

anybody, but boy do I have doubts. Okay, you may not have one in one area, but more in others.

I want you to be honest as you're looking at this and thinking about this. Let me get seriously,

who locks the doors from the inside and throws away the key? Who does? Those who are not satisfied with

their own direction? So if you're kind of stuck in comparison, think about it. Are you not satisfied

with where you are in your own life? Because what happens is they focus elsewhere and when they don't

succeed, the excuse is already waiting and worst yet, they start modeling their own attempts on

someone else's timeline, never realizing that by watching others too closely, they've given up

on their own shot. They're just thrown in the towel. Where are you right now?

Are you one who says, I'm getting into a different season and I can feel the move. So are you ready

to stop giving up? Then unlock your walls of comparison. That is your kiss to keep it simple

strategy. Unlock your walls of comparison. Because you can't look at somebody else's walls.

If you look at mine, you'll be like, Christian, you got it all put together. Oh, let me tell you

right now, I do not always have it put together. There are times that I just need a nap,

seriously. I'm like, can I be my two year old granddaughter and go nap for like three and a half

hours? She usually does sometimes. I mean, I'm like, oh, it's only like sleep nonstop for that

amount of time. I don't even do that at night, but that's for another episode. But we sit here

and we get ourselves so entangled with our own CRAP of life. Are you hanging out with that too

much? Your challenges, right? Are you just sitting there going, I can't handle the rejections.

What happens when my adversaries come up and I just really don't know how to handle it.

All these problems I'm going through. What is it? That does feel really kind of crappy, doesn't it?

It does. And so then we convince ourselves that we can't get any further than this.

And I'm here to tell you, that's not true. It's just not true. So unlock your walls of comparison.

What does it look like in real life? Number one, zero in on your own scorecard.

You remember those scorecards when you go to putt putt? I know. It wouldn't be nice if life was

just as easy as putt putt. I'm not always good at it. But every once in a while, I do manage to get

a hole in one. I don't know how it happens, but it does. But regardless of that, think of your

scorecard, right? But it's got to be your scorecard. It can't be you looking at somebody else that's

or saying, wait, can I borrow yours? So I look like you forget everyone else's stats, everyone

else's timelines, the success hacks, whatever it is that they're dealing with. What does progress

look like for you and be specific with your thoughts? Be sure to celebrate the smaller wins too,

because they become your real markers. They become the markers in your timeline.

The mile markers. Remember, one step at a time leads to miles of greatness. What are those mile

markers? Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Instagram, comparing your life to a few other

people. And it could be of all different types, right? You might be looking at your career going,

if only I would have made this decision 10 years ago. It was right there. I said no. I should have

said yes. If you're still in that and that happened over a decade ago, get over it. It's not serving

you. So if you're one who's like doing the scroll, instead of doing that, jot down three ways you've

moved forward today. What's happened today to you for the positive that's where you are really

focused on you, your dreams, your goals, your life, own your momentum. Say yes, I'm doing it.

No, it's not going to be perfect, but it's not about perfection. It's about what? One step

at a time leads to miles of greatness. You got a hill to climb, a mountain to climb. You're going

to hit some peaks and valleys along the way. But all you need to do is take that one step.

Number two, reframe envy into inspiration, not imitation. I love that. Honestly, and I was thinking

about that. I'm like, we so want to be sometimes someone else, right? But instead of envy in somebody,

be inspired by it. And don't try to copy-cat it. That's not a good idea. When you catch yourself

thinking, they have it all, and I don't. Pause and ask, what specifically inspires me here?

Redirect yourself, reframe. What purpose does this serve? Use that to feel your own creativity,

not direct you toward copying someone else's path. Remember, the grass is greener on the other

side until it turns brown. Think about that. Anybody who has success has had more failures than you.

Seriously, because those who want to climb the ladder, whatever ladder it is, it could be the

ladder of wanting a family and wanting to have children. It could be your marriage, it could be

your career. There's so many things, right? We're not just talking about dreams and goals here.

We use that as kind of a highlight, because it allows us to kind of grab on to something tangible.

And don't tell me you're just a mom, because frankly, you're not. You're more than just a mom.

You're a woman of impact. I'm pushing ahead, creating transformation.

So, when you take that envy and reframe it into inspiration and not imitation,

it can feel your own creativity, right? Take what works for you, but add your own voice and perspective.

Right? Do what you are created to do. Use your gifts, your talents. If you're looking at someone else

now, and you can kind of understand why you're looking at them, and you're not looking at them from

a perspective of, I wish I was you, but what can I learn from you? There's a difference. I wish I

was you. What can I learn from you? What stance are you taking? That's a great way to know, gosh, am I

more on the envy side of imitation versus envy side of inspiration? Big difference, right? You want

to be you every single time, so choose you. And then, finally, number three, embrace the discomfort,

of being a little nervous. You know, I can remember when I would go and have to perform on stage.

I've been in plays and musicals and everything. I've been on big, huge stages and things. I mean,

my pageants and, you know, going for the Olympics and all of these things that I've tried to do,

big stuff, little stuff. I mean, even just showing up on the stage of my own home, right? Being a

great mom, a good wife, really, I would like to be an excellent wife. Ask my husband and see what

he tells you. It changes. I'm sure by the hour, but regardless, right? The nerves come up, right?

And we get these little kind of weird feelings in our stomach, or maybe in our heart, or even in

our hands. Nervousness, my friend, means growth. Uncertainty means you are stepping up. There's

more than where you are right now. And that's a great feeling to have. So harness it, sit with that

feeling instead of retreating into comparison, which just masquerades as safety, but only leaves you

stagnant, right? You don't want to be a zombie, right? That is not your life. Your life is to go out

and impact the world that you touch in a manner of utilizing your gifts and talents and the way

God has created you to be with who you are and who you are becoming. The actions that scare you

are often the ones to propel you forward. And I know I look back. I reflect on my life not to say,

oh, woes me or I wish, or wow, that was awesome, because all of that could be trouble.

But truly to look back and say, okay, it was in these moments that, oh, my nerves got the best

to me, but guess what? I made headway that doesn't mean I won, whatever winning meant in that

particular situation. It doesn't mean I lost either. It means I was present. And I wasn't going to

let a little discomfort and a little nervousness shake me and put me back within the walls of comparison.

So I want to bring you full circle. We've been talking about the Olympics for a couple weeks.

And unfortunately, the main Olympics have come to a close, right? Did you watch the closing ceremony?

It was beautiful. But now we've got the pair of Olympics, so I would encourage you if you're

an Olympic fan, watch them. You know, pay attention because those athletes are incredible too.

But the official Olympics have closed. But I want to bring you full circle.

And I want to use this, honestly, as a teaching moment, because I think sports does a lot.

Yeah, it's called Momas Sports Center. But take a look at the 2026 Winter Olympics, right?

The USA men's hockey team. We had not won a gold medal for 46 years. You heard me correctly,

46, for nearly five decades. They had more silver than they had really honestly,

golds, right? And I'm sure to them, they were near misses. But if they had stayed stuck,

replying every loss going back to every single one, every past failure, every missed goal,

they would never have broken through. Now, I know we've got different guys on the team. I get that.

But beside that point, it's going back and going, well, gosh, they worked hard and they practiced

and they had everything they needed. We have the same thing. It's just different technology now.

So basically teams were equal all the way up. But at some point, like, am I really winning?

Or are we just always going to be on the losing team? But you see, here was a thing.

They didn't. They didn't stay stuck and replying every loss. They stayed focused

on each game that they were present at on the day and the goal ahead, not the ghost of past

performance or the looming shadow of their opponent. And let me tell you, Canada can be a very

big looming shadow. But let me tell you this, they stepped it up when it mattered most.

And yes, the USA men's hockey team beat Canada two to one in overtime.

It was spectacular. Now, if you're Canada, I'm sorry, you played a great game.

I enjoy hockey, both men and women. And for both of our teams to bring home gold,

I celebrate that. But I celebrate more, not the medal per se.

But where they were within their mindset, where they were within their hearts.

There were moments. I mean, honestly, the women's hockey team, they had to come from behind.

Canada was set up to win. And they had to make a goal to stay in the game and then a goal

to win the game in overtime. That's hard to do when you're already behind to begin with.

Because Canada scored first. I mean, in the midst of it, I know you know what this is like.

Even if you've never been on the sports team, you know what it's like to be behind.

It's hard to come back from being behind. But you see, here's this.

You might be thinking, what does this have? Anything to do with me, Kristian,

just because you like the Olympics and sports. What's the real lesson here? All right, here we go.

If athletes locked themselves inside the walls of comparison, they would never make history.

And your life works the same way.

You'll never make history in a manner that God has created you to make history.

Again, we're not comparing. This is your life, your story.

So you either stay imprisoned by what others have done or you push forward no matter the fear.

So I've been asking you to be honest with me, with yourself.

And if you're dialoguing with me, that's okay. I do it too.

It's important, right? Sometimes we need to hear ourselves think out loud.

We need to say, gosh, that really did hit me. And maybe you need to go back to a certain area

within this episode. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that.

There are many things that I will go back to. I'm like, oh, that just struck me.

That word or that phrase stood out to me.

You don't have to listen to the whole thing. But find what it is.

Go to the show notes. Go to create your now.com. Everything's there.

It's a highlight now. I don't do a full transcript, by the way, of our podcast. I just do highlights

our show notes. It's an easy read for you. But it might help you. Oh, wait, wait.

I'm going to go look at it about this point within the episode. Okay. Maybe one of these days,

I'll get there. But there's just too much to do. But seriously, be honest with yourself.

When you look at your own walls of comparison, are they holding you captive?

Or are you willing to be a little nervous? Are you willing to shift your focus inward

and move beyond standing still? What is it for you? What's coming up? What are you thinking about?

Change isn't comfortable. It's not. And it should not be. But comfort zones, as we know,

never made Olympic gold medalist. They didn't make the USA men's hockey team this year. Or the USA

women's hockey team. They all had to get out of their comfort zone. They all had to do things

that they didn't know what it looked like. Even being on the big stage, Hillary Knight.

Right? She was back again and again and again. But this was a different team. And she was now the

captain. It looks different. The brothers, two sets of brothers, on the men's hockey team.

It looks different. It feels different. Comfort zones aren't going to get you to where you want to be.

So guess what? I think it's time you get a little uncomfortable.

Release yourself from that prison you built. Tare down those walls of comparison

and be willing to let your light shine. Because remember, you're going for the mile markers.

One step at a time leads to your miles of greatness. Go on peace. Be present. Be incredible. Be you.

I love you so very much. I cannot wait to see you on the other side. Blessing tanks and lots

of lots of love. We'll talk to you real soon. Have a glorious blessed day. Bye.

Feeling inspired and ready to train for life and love your journey. Visit createyournow.com

for more incredible resources to help you along the way. We'll see you next time on create your

now your best selfie. And remember, always be sure you consult your physician before beginning any

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