Episode 3991, The Warmth of Joy.

Moms, it's time to rediscover, rejuvenate,

and renew who you are in mind, body, and spirit.

Welcome to Create Your Now, Your Best Selfie,

the show that help you do just that.

Here's your host, Certified Life Coach,

Personal Trainer, and Nutritionist, Christian Wargo.

Happy every day, I hope you're having a fabulous week.

I hope you're ready and geared up to finish the race strong,

but you know what, sometimes we just need a little squeeze,

a little hug.

Oh yeah, The Warmth of Joy.

For those of you who are brand new to Create Your Now,

welcome to this incredible family.

I'm so delighted of your presence.

If you already even have the opportunity,

you want to head on over to CreateYourNow.com,

where you can learn more and sign up for the Kisses newsletter.

To keep its simple strategy, every day solutions,

to live, love, and impact.

Well, this episode is brought to you by AIM, Inspiring Connection,

and Community.

I appreciate your patience as my voice is still trying to heal.

It's hard. I have to pause a little bit more.

Swallow. It just is what it is, but you know what?

We're family, and so even though we're sick and we're down and out,

we're still going to show up.

And I want to be here for you because there's a lot

happening in our world today.

There's a lot of things that are going on in our personal lives

in our professional lives.

And it doesn't stop because we don't feel good, right?

Especially moms, you know it.

Just because you're sick doesn't mean

that dinner doesn't need to get cooked, and you know,

the laundry needs to be taken care of the dogs too,

right? The dinner dishes and dogs.

It all adds up, and you're like,

if I could only have a break, but we don't always get that.

And so this week, as I've been kind of going through

all of this and trying to reset some things and my schedule

and traveling, and then now my voice is gone.

And I'm like, Lord, we're not, we're not turning this voice off.

So long as there's something coming out of it,

you'll give me what I'm supposed to say.

And so whatever it is for you today, I just want to meet you

where you are. I want you to know that God loves you,

that I love you. I pray for you every single day.

I know when you turn on the news and you see what's happening

from what happened at the start.

I don't know what country you're listening from,

but here being in the US.

I'm praying for our soldiers that are in harm's way.

I'm praying for those who are in other countries

that are in harm's way.

We can't take for granted what we have,

and that is breath.

And God gives it to us every single day.

And so, you know, here at Creature Now,

I'm not going to get political.

We don't do that. We don't play that.

I'm not telling you what to do,

but I do ask for your prayers.

I ask for those who have perished

that we pray for their families,

their friends.

There is a great impact.

And it's not just what's happening

in the totality of our world today.

Right? It's happening within the totality of your own home.

The privacy of your own four walls.

And let me just say and let the attacks begin

because that's where it all starts, right?

It's in the harsh reflection of who we see we are not.

We look in the mirror.

We beat ourselves up over what we haven't achieved,

focusing on our so-called failures

instead of recognizing the life lessons they've gifted us.

Oh, my friend, you're bright.

You're beautiful.

It's time to shut down this negative rampage against yourself

and open up to the warmth of joy

that comes from embracing who you are

and who you are becoming.

Because remember,

we've kind of switched a little bit about what happens on Wednesdays

and this is really about filling your cup the wellspring.

And it's talking about what you need.

And it's greater than your circumstances.

It's greater than always saying, okay,

you know, is it just this?

Can I have this one little strategy here?

Yeah, there's a lot of little strategies,

but let me tell you the biggest one of all.

You're Heavenly Father.

So let's cut through the noise.

Maybe you're the everyday woman, right?

We all are.

We're juggling all the things,

the millions of things that work deadlines,

the family chaos, the bills,

the social commitments.

You've heard me say it over and over and again,

the dinner dishes and dogs.

And you already know you're a hero for keeping everything moving.

It's like, yes, I survived.

I have breath at the beginning of the day.

I've breath at the end of the day.

I'm alive.

Good night.

That's repeat.

You're the one who's scheduling the appointments while meal prepping,

calming all the tantrums while on a phone call.

You remember those things where you're like squeezing in self-care?

Oh, I can paint my nails real quick.

Get all of a sudden.

It's like, you have your own war zone in your home.

Yeah, you know what it's like, right?

Your to-do list is a beast that never sleeps.

And the weight of all of it is draining you more than anyone sees.

I see it, though.

Your friends and family who listen here to the podcast.

I'm talking about your podcast family here.

They know what's going on.

And when you're running on empty joys and just hiding,

it's buried beneath exhaustion, stress, and constant sheds.

I should be doing this.

I should.

I should.

If only I should, I just need to do this.

Really, why do you keep in that hamster wheel if I should have?

And you might be able to catch moments of relief or laughter,

but the deeper joy, the wellspring that can fuel you through chaos,

it's running dry because your tank is empty.

And that, my friend, is the problem nobody talks about.

Nobody talks about running around with your cup half empty or just plain empty.

You can't reframe your mindset into joy if you're too drained to even notice it.

If you're buried too much in all the stuff of life, in all the things,

the pressure cooker responsibilities create this constant background hum of overwhelm.

Have you ever had everything silent and listened to that little, little, little,

little quiet hum when the lights are on?

I'm telling you, it's there.

Now, you may have to really listen for it because we're so drowned out by the noise of the world

that we really have to say, okay, ears, you got to hear what you don't hear.

Like, listen more, listen deeper, go deeper, go deeper.

That's actually a great exercise to know how much you really hear.

When everything can be quiet and still, only have one or two lights on.

Turn everything else off except those and listen for that hum.

That's that quietness of the overwhelm behind you that says, hey, I'm hanging out here.

You may not feel me, but oh, I'm here.

I'm giving you light like none other.

I'm lighten the world up with your overwhelm.

Yes, I'm stealing everything from you.

And that mental clutter blocks you from even imagining a joy-filled life.

Regardless of your circumstances, because you can't see it, you can't even feel it.

And before you can get to the feel good despite it all minds that like, I got this,

you need to acknowledge that this depletion is real.

You're exhausted.

You're not just lazy or fickle.

You're human and taxed beyond capacity.

I'm done.

I'm topped out.

Did your mom ever tell you, I'm up to hear my patients and, you know,

her hands up there above her head.

I don't have anything more to give.

I'm done with you.

All right, well, that's kind of what happens when you're taxed

beyond your capacity.

You're done.

You can't handle any more.

Or you might, or you actually feel like you're going to break.

But if you're not recognizing that, anything we'll talk about with joy.

We'll sound like empty pep talks.

Raw, raw.

Shes kumball.

Yeah, let's have a joyful life.

Let's get it going.

Let's start, you know, whatever.

This sounds great on the football field.

Or at a soccer game.

But it doesn't do anything for you.

In real life, it's just like, I'm done.

You've got to face the drained reality head on and give yourself permission to pause.

To know that this is where you are in life.

Not just physically, but mentally.

And that's when the ground breaking shift happens.

That's the earthquake you need.

In your life.

That is your kiss to keep it simple strategy.

To have that earthquake.

To shake things up.

You've got to give yourself permission to pause.

To give yourself that rest.

Because without that,

you are going to see yourself for someone who can't do what they set out to do.

And that in itself is depressing and abilitating.

You're like, why even try?

I'm just going to keep on loading the trucks as my husband left the sandwich to load the

trucks. Nothing's going to change.

I'm just going to show up with what I have.

Listen carefully.

You are made for more.

You are filled with a fruit of the spirit to do what God has divinely designed for your life.

You are made for more.

But you must be willing to work with him together.

Do the work together.

And I get it. It's hard sometimes, right?

You're like, Christina, I barely have time to brush my teeth.

I hope I'm dressed when I walk outside the door.

I get it.

I've had myself standing at the car door going, do I have shoes on?

Meaning make sure the house slippers aren't on.

Because honest confession, do you know how many times I have walked out of my house

with my house shoes on?

Now it's not the end of the world.

They look like real shoes.

They're nice.

So if I'm already on the road, it's not a big deal.

But it's going to be a big deal if I'm gone for 12 hours.

Because it may not be really what I'm supposed to have on with the outfit that I have on.

If I'm just running to the store, I can get away with it.

But to live my whole day like that.

But unfortunately, that's a lot of us, right?

We're standing there in this moment of gosh.

Look at me.

I am a hot mess.

Smile when you say that by the way.

I'm a hot mess.

But God's got me.

I'm a hot mess because God's got me.

I'm a hot mess because God's got me.

Fill your cup, let him know that he is present within you.

And when you say it out loud, it allows you what to grasp it.

To hear it.

To feel it.

To sense it.

And then to become it.

A lot of people are like,

Christian, I don't know how you keep going.

I've got some really good friends and they know

all the details of what's going on.

And not very many of them do, but a few of them do.

And quite frankly, I don't have to share this with you all before.

That if I was to give you my laundry list or what I like to call,

I don't call it laundry list, you know me.

I miss Santa Claus list.

Because Santa Claus list is really, really, really, really long.

It's all the children in the world.

That's kind of like my list.

It's a Santa Claus to do list.

And it's really, really, really, really long.

And if I was to give you that and list out everything that's going on,

everything, all the different moving parts,

you'd be like, there is no way you could keep talking to me every single day.

The time that you spend here, you're right.

I could be doing something else, but you see that's the thing.

You matter that much.

And God placed it on my heart to show up for you today,

not by accident.

There's a reason why you're here listening today.

I don't know exactly what it is.

But life is shifting for you.

Maybe positive, maybe negative, maybe not.

That's all right.

But let me tell you you're made for more.

And God's got you.

You can have the hug, the warmth of joy,

regardless of your circumstances.

So let him fill that for you.

Let him be that joy because let me tell you anything that you do of your own accord,

is it going to make you feel joyful?

It's just honestly going to exhaust you.

Your success, well, getting to that success point,

is going to exhaust you because it takes a lot of work.

Don't go life alone.

Say, Lord, walk beside me.

And more importantly, let him lead and listen,

discern what he has to say for you.

You've got permission to pause,

permission to listen to the hum.

Maybe not so much of the lights that you have turned on,

but the light that God gives you.

What does it look like in real life?

Putting this all into motion,

to lock in that joy that God gives.

Not what you think you can give yourself,

no matter what's happening outside.

What is it?

What is that real life picture?

Number one, own your story.

Then edit the story.

You get to be an editor.

How cool is that?

You can't control what happens,

but you can control how you frame it.

You can control how you respond to it

or react to it sometimes.

And that's not always a positive manner,

by the way.

You want to respond, not react.

Reaction is normally considered the knee jerk reaction.

Not the, okay, I've got it together.

I'm going to respond accordingly.

And there's some thought put into it

before you just open your mouth.

That's what I mean by response versus reaction.

But you see every experience,

good or bad is a story to tell yourself.

Did you hear that?

Every experience.

Do you know how many experiences you have every day?

You're experiencing something right now.

Right now you are.

This is an experience.

When you do your set of dishes at night,

that's an experience.

When you do the laundry, that's another experience.

When you're talking to your kids,

that's another experience.

For each conversation.

When you're at dinner time, that's an experience.

When you're picking up your kids from school,

that's an experience.

Dropping them off, that's an experience.

Do you see what I'm saying?

You've got a lot of experiences every single day.

And so good or bad, it's a story to tell yourself.

And most people replay the pain.

The injustice.

Or why me?

And that keeps joy on the sidelines.

That keeps joy buried.

Because you're looking at wanting to have something

that you can't control.

Which you can't control.

Most of it.

Only you can control what you can control.

And you forget that God's right there with you.

So here's the thing, flip the script.

Ask yourself, what is this teaching me?

What can I be grateful for, Lord?

Even if it's small, take ownership.

And when you take ownership,

it shifts you from victim mode to empower mode.

Oh, woes me versus, yes, Lord, we got this.

Even though you may feel like you don't have it,

but you can put your hands up in the air and say,

Lord, I don't know what's going on,

but you got this.

We're doing this together.

You're not ignoring the pain.

You're not ignoring the experience of what you're in.

You're widening the lens to see beyond

that making room for joy no matter how dark the moment

builds, that is worth more than anything you can ever have.

Because it comes from God and it's real.

And when you can smile when you're hurting,

it has nothing to do because of your circumstances.

It's because you know that regardless, God's got you.

May not be what you want.

May not come close to what you want.

Or maybe everything you want.

But regardless, God's got you.

So own your story.

Be okay with editing it and let God walk beside you, hand in hand.

Number two, build a ritual around presents.

Joy lives in the moment, right?

In the present, not in the someday, not in when things get better.

I'll just wait when things get better.

I'll just wait till you know another couple months.

It's not going to happen that way.

Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

So practice a ritual that anchors you in the now.

Create your now.

Maybe you need to look at a gratitude journal.

Maybe you need to just hold your hand to your heart and fill your breath.

Not look and see what's my heart rate right now.

I care about all those tech tools.

Feel your heartbeat.

You're alive.

Maybe you need to take a walk in nature if it's not pouring down rain, if it's nice outside.

Maybe if it is pouring down rain and not lightning or thunder, by the way, safety first always.

Maybe you need to walk in the rain.

Maybe you need to be like a kid.

Take your shoes off, splash a little, dance.

Who cares what the neighbors say or whoever's driving by, it doesn't matter.

Be present.

I'm telling you, these aren't fluffy cloud, you know, extras that you have in your life.

They're deliberately rewiring your brain to catch the good when you'd otherwise miss it.

It's saying there's something bigger than my circumstances.

And that's usually what you can't control.

But God does.

Presence pulls you out of swirling worries and dumps you into reality where beauty and joy exists alongside challenges.

Yes, you can have both.

And the more consistent you are, the more your brain learns to latch onto joy.

God's joy, the joy only He gives.

To be present.

I'm finally number three.

Choose connection and contribution.

Isolation starves joy.

And quite frankly, I think a lot of us think that, oh gosh, I'm just too tired.

I don't feel like I don't want to go help anybody.

I'm not going to be any good to anybody.

No, being by yourself isolates you.

It starves a joy.

Because you don't feel like you're living the way God intended you to live.

Relationally,

connection though feeds the soul.

It feeds joy.

So seek out moments to genuinely engage with people, friends, family, your community, your church,

a stranger, even better yet pour your energy into helping others.

When you contribute, you flip the attention off your struggles and align yourself with something

bigger. It's no longer just about you.

Giving doesn't just help the other person, my friend.

It lights you up from the inside.

Try it.

Try it.

I promise you.

It will change you.

And it actually can become somewhat addicting in a positive way, by the way.

And that kind of joy isn't conditional.

It's replenished every time you make someone else's day better.

So it makes someone see there is something else besides their own troubles.

Make their day.

Make someone else's smile.

My friend, joy isn't a prize you win after clearing life's hurdles.

Wouldn't it be nice?

Who I won?

Then you're sitting at the finish line.

Now what?

Nope.

Joy is this internal resource you build by retraining your mind and choices.

It's seen through the eyes of your Heavenly Father who loves you.

It's knowing that you don't have to prove yourself.

You don't have to have these stack of accolades and achievements.

You can have more failures than successes and still have joy.

I'll also say this, you can have a lot of successes and still have joy too.

So know that don't feel bad if you're like, gosh, I just feel like I've got extra blessings.

Count your blessings.

But also know that when those blessings aren't there and when you are falling into despair

that God's got you still.

Because that can happen too.

Some people just kind of ride the wave for a while and they're doing awesome and then

all of a sudden it's not even a crash.

It's like 12 feet under and they're like, how in the heck am I getting out of this?

Because they've never experienced anything but basically good or better or best.

That's just the life they've had.

And that's fabulous, right?

But eventually we all have those crashes.

That wave ends.

And maybe you're on the roller coaster right now.

Maybe you're on your way up.

Maybe you're at the tippy tippy top.

I want you to see what God sees in you.

Start owning your story who you are and who you are becoming.

Get present with him.

Listen for that hum, not of the lights.

But what lights you up because of what God gives you from the inside out.

And then connect.

Be willing to connect with those.

We were built, created.

I say built, but we were.

God put a lot of thought into you.

That's pretty amazing.

Don't take it for granted.

He created you on purpose for a purpose.

And that my friend is where you can cuddle up with the warmth of joy no matter what's going on

around you.

Joy, it's all about God's hug.

Go in peace.

Be present.

Be incredible.

Be you.

I love you so very much.

I cannot wait to see you on the other side.

Blessing hugs and lots and lots of love.

We'll talk to you real soon.

Have a glorious, blessed day.

Bye.

Bye, you're ready to train for life and love your journey.

Visit createyournow.com for more incredible resources to help you along the way.

We'll see you next time on Create Your Now Your Best Selfie.

And remember, always be sure you consult your physician before beginning any health and fitness plan.