479: Leadership Lies We Tell Ourselves, with Emily Leathers

Emily Leathers: Emotional Leadership

Emily is an executive coach and software engineering manager. She has led teams and advised other managers for years. She’s seen the difference a truly passionate leader and manager can make for their team and the world around them.

Like a lot of managers and coaches, she’s had a front row seat to the patterns that cause a lot of leaders to overwork and over stress. She is the author of the guide The 7 Leadership Lies and she’s the host of the Emotional Leadership podcast. She’s also a member of the Coaching for Leaders Academy.

In this conversation, we discuss some of the common lies that leaders tend to tell themselves that lead to frustration and impostor syndrome. Then, we explore better ways to frame these beliefs, to lead with more confidence and effectiveness.

Key Points

Lie #1: I’m supposed to do everything I, my manager, or my team can think of.

Truth: A leader’s job is about prioritization – and that means prioritizing how we spend our own time as well.

Lie #2: There’s a timeline.

Truth: There is no rush. Work gets much easier when we turn off the unneeded sense of emergency. Prioritization is the aim.

Lie #3: Emotions don’t belong at work.

Truth: Every action we take is driven by an emotion. You are going to experience emotions at work – that or you’ll be staring at a wall all day without a single thought in your mind. Turning them off isn’t an option. Learning to allow your emotions and use them to your advantage is critical for your success as a leader.

Lie #4: I’m supposed to have an answer for any problem or question a team member asks.

Truth: A manager’s role is to help your team solve problems, not to solve problems for your team.

Resources Mentioned

• The 7 Leadership Lies
• Anger + Allowing Strong Emotions with Vivien Yang (Emotional Leadership podcast)

Related Episodes

• How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
• What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)
• The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458)

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