
#572 - My Multiple Men, Common Sense Express and In Association with Prunes
About this episode
John’s hammering away at the word count of his opinionated column again. This time in his crosshairs it’s e-scooters. Politically he’s a hard person to work out. Which from a balance perspective is actually very helpful.
There's also reports from Pembrokeshire, and we hear from a character who has piqued the boys' interest lately.
Plus, when there’s news of (yet more) boundary breaking content to be fed into the digestive tract of the British audio industry, sometimes you just need it to sit in the stomach for a few days to build suspense. Because Elis James, will, for the first time will [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]. You don’t want to miss it.
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Elis James and John Robins — #572 - My Multiple Men, Common Sense Express and In Association with Prunes. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
Hello everyone, the Ellison John Cinematic Universe is now available to all. Yes, head to patreon.com slash Ellison John for Lords of Extra Content, including our brand new film series The Adventures of Ellison John, fully visualised podcast episodes twice a week and behind the scenes bonus content. So to watch shows, get at free episodes and come on adventures with me, Ellison Dave, head to patreon.com slash Ellison John. This episode is sponsored by Zockdock. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or needed Dennis and you don't know where to start? We've definitely been there and that's why we use Zockdock. Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed, but we hopped on to Zockdock, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, so real-time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked in appointment and just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation.
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Hello everyone and welcome to the Ellis James and John Robbins podcast and I have news which is gonna rock Ellis's world. Ellis, Wales is part of the conversation. Is it no? Wales is at the table. We've been talking to Michael Sheen. Wales has relevance. Right. I'm well yes I mean I've always known this. But I'm gonna go as far as the same. Wales no longer is part of the conversation. Wales is the conversation. It's about the Commonwealth Games because that ended a couple of weeks ago. No one's talking about the Commonwealth Games. When I was talking about it, Emma Finneken was four goals. Yeah Emma Finneken was one of four goals and she's from Camartha. But they're struggling to find hosts for it because no one watches it anymore. I'm gonna spit on you. Well it got paywalls didn't it? Yeah. Yeah. That's why no one watches it. Which is incredibly frustrating because especially the World of Cycling. Well Wales did very well but especially the World of Cycling team. I never mind. I want to know why Wales matters in John's World because it's either going to be
is that a famous Welsh therapist. Because golf I suppose would be in Wuzdem. No Wales I think championed the Pullius Oxup. Yeah. Psychological approach of the mid 1940s. Yes of course. Yeah. No I Walesed. Of course you did. I walked the land of your fathers and forefathers. Yeah. And five fathers. I commumed with Welsh beauty. Oh lovely. I got a girlfriend. I swam in the Welsh sea. Oh I love that. And I have everything to do. I have things for you to do that thing to where you go. Row. Okay. Hello. When they're announcing the line-ups for Pullius. Well I just want your take on my Welsh takes. Yes please. Because I have become one with the Welsh landscape. You were also in my neck the woods when you were in a swimming pender. I wasn't your neck. I was crawling up your throat and out of your mouth and saying, well Wales is really good.
Okay. Like in Alien where the little mouth comes out of the big mouth. And Sigourney Weaver was Instagram. Because that's who I was saying it to. Right. Right. To an extent. I stayed in 10b. Lovely. I was like, that's a way, Alice, please. Oh yeah. Thank you. There were a high proportion of very tant children. Which I'm not sure is a good sign. If you're not Welsh, well you're certainly not South Wheeling if you haven't been burnt in 10b. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My friend Sean got a sunburnt her feet in 10b. I mean we... Forget about the feet. We slapped on the fact of 50 on Lila in Portugal for 10 days. Like there was no tomorrow and she came back. The most tant person I've ever seen in my life. So it's not a but it's not a sign of bad parenting. I don't know what sunburn is. Right. Sunburn is. Sun tan I would say isn't. Oh okay. It just means they're outside and if there's some tantra... There's a very tantra toddler. If there's some tantra rather than sunburnt.
That means they've had cream on. They've just been outside. And yeah I mean... This I'm not a doctor. No. It's a a a sudden tantra toddler. I would say it's probably not ideal. We've got to keep them in the shade. Yeah. But it was very hot. It was. It was very hot. And I needed to see the toddler and meet the parents. So the holiday makers are 10b off the hook. Yeah. Because I don't know. Did you go to the bookshop? The Celtic bookshop. No, but we are flat. Was above the best deli in 10b that sold the best crisps in the world. A.K.A. Brats. Oh lovely. Okay. So you found some with it. What was the stricken you had to find some with it? Once you bred you never go back. But they're very hot. I was a disappoint to send some. Yeah I thought he's got a great rhyme here. I cannot wait. I can't work out what it is. Yeah because that was in Jon's wheelhouse. Yeah. Okay then once you bred you don't sweat. Lovely. Yeah.
I'm not doing this. Not my wheelhouse. I'm doing it. Once you bred you're no regret. Oh I was thinking that's that's great. When you bred you know what you get guys. Yeah. Yeah nice crisps. Get get get in touch with them Dave. Yeah well sort of a mainly a French script but they have mad flavors like Gruyere and jalapeno. Okay. They all tasted the thing. The butter ones are the best. Butter crisps. Butter they taste a butter. Okay um listen to radio comrie the whole time. Did you? To get into the atmosphere. Oh that's going to make me cry I think. And do you know what's interesting? Yeah. It's because I only know Welsh language music through you. Yeah. I assumed it was all good because the stuff you listen to is like indie folk. Yeah yeah yeah. Psych folk. There's a lot of absolute gym music. Well this is this is the Roger Cymru problem you see. When you have one radio station for entire country and entire language
you have to be all things to all people. Well they weren't playing anything particularly outtray. It was all about run of the mill like um I can only say gym music. But like most what do you mean? Basically most the thing with English language radio is most English language radio is playing terrible mainstream music but you've got so many options and choices. Yes. So with Roger Cymru you've got a appeal to everyone. So a lot of it in the same way with any language is going to be mainstream culture. It's largely playing. Although there are some very good programs on Roger Cymru. But I liked it because I didn't. I didn't. I thought all Welsh language music was quite obscure sort of like all venues type vibes. So who are the poppy? Yeah who are the big pop? Who's the Taylor Swift of Wales? Um Taylor Swift. Well there was a there was a girl band called Aden who reformed and they they were a sort of a pop group. They they they formed around that in 90s was probably around the time with the spice skills. And then you've got the old uh the older people like
Bryn Vaughn who was an actor in a very famous sitcom. He's he's I would say a mainstream musician. So Ellis I'm going to tell you all the places we went and I would like an anecdote as a sentence anecdote from you on all of them. All right then. I'll wait one second. Have you seen a picture of Covian Bookshop? Which is the chaotic one. Let me show you this. Oh my god. You've got a you've got to um you've got to sign a waiver before you're logged in. Oh no thing. It's just a lot of books overflowing on a lot of shelves. Yeah and it looks like a disorganised office. Well look at that picture. I mean I don't know how anyone finds anything. But it's a very famous book. It's very small. But um yes all stucked up. So uh um Boscherton Lily Ponds. Oh my dad's favourite. I would always Kai Boscherton it because I didn't want to go there but dad loved it. It's mad. A lot of algae though in this heat.
A lot of algae and I like it now as an adult but as a kid I found it boring but it was always dance and boring choice. I went to a rival world garden. Did you? You are an ambassador for world garden and I went to their arch nemesis. So you went to the arch nemesis of Bishops Palace in Polkrasco? No I went to Stackpole. Oh I love Stackpole. It was really nice. Did you rub it in Stackpole? No but they do have melon forcing pits. What's that mean? Which sounds like a sort of delicious torture. Yeah. The Victorian pits which were used to grow pineapples and melons in the past. It all sounds like torture still. I don't know. It's like you force rhubarb somehow. I don't know. Okay. Um but they had an amazing array of vegetables and butterflies. A lot of school trips to Stackpole when I was young. Really? Yeah. I've not been there probably since the 80s but I went there a lot then. We listened to Barra Fondle on the way to Barra Fondle. Yes. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
However. Which means I second that. The Barra Fondle Car Park was full. Oh what happens then? We went to Broad Haven South and I swam in the sea. I love swimming in the sea and I love Broad Haven South. We never really went there when I was a kid. We used to go to Broad Haven because Broad Haven South is a nightmare if you got a buggy. So let's blame my little sister. She should have loved to walk quicker. We went to Marlow Sands. Oh nice of that. Was a highlight. I swam in the sea. I love swimming. Yes. Also. I hate swimming in pools. I love swimming in the sea. Marlow Sands is like this massive bay. And we looked down from the Car Park. And it was quite busy. There's a little secret mini bay to the right hand side. We have to climb down St. Rox. It was like a VIP area for the adventurers. Oh nice. And I think it's obviously didn't go there. I think an elderly lady may have seen my bum as I got in my swimming shorts. Oh that's all right. That's okay. That's for her that's an anecdote. Yeah. I saw John Robinson's bum today. The podcaster, yes.
There's a superb cafe there. Is there? Uh went to Pembrooke. Okay. Pembrooke Castle. I got beef with Pembrooke Castle now. I quite pricey to enter. Oh was it? To the extent where we didn't enter. Really? And do you have a podcast millionaire? And also, yeah, it was a bit mad. But also, the price list, so adults I think was 18 quid. Which is quite a lot for two adults. 36 quid. Sometimes we get in the castle. Children 9 quid. You might have to edit this out. Registered disabled children 8 quid. The kind of thought, oh you might want to let him in for it. Yeah. I want to expect in just a one-pan discount for someone who's registered to sell you. Well, a problem is, Henry the 7th was born in Pembrooke Castle. Why is that a problem? Surely that's a selling point.
Because that was his idea. You've got to charge the disabled kids for God's sake long after I've gone. I'm sure they have discounts for like families, but I thought that's 36 quid for two adults, two adults or two carers with two disabled kids. You're looking at like, that's a lot of men's. 54 pounds. That's a lot of money. I haven't been, I should have a book. It didn't look like the town could sustain any less visitors. Yeah. Let's put it that way. Because I had a book, I had a book on Pembrooke Castle when I was little. But so I've been there, but I can't remember what the prices were in the 80s. However, Caru Castle. Lovely. Car of the price. Went round Caru Castle. Caru, yeah. Caru and learnt about all of the various things that happened there at the past. It's nice. And there's shops where you can buy pots and things. Very family friendly. Lots of kids running around doing archery, loved it. Lots of kids getting injured. Sold us foot bay. Oh, yes.
Amroth Bay. Now Amroth, that's another one to dance favourite. I love Amroth. Now, in Amroth, we... I can't believe you've been to Amroth. That's fantastic. We sat with our ice creams. Can you know we spot on a criticism coming from John Cahn? Well, this isn't a criticism of Amroth. Okay. Um, two sort of energetic kids. Yeah. Because it's a pebbly beach, right? It's like... Not a fan of a pebbly beach, John. So anyway, they start chucking sort of fist-sized pebbles just onto the other pebbles. It's Welsh humour. Yeah. And it's quite annoying when you're sitting listening to the scene. Oh, it's lovely though. Pebble on pebble. It's rock on rock. It's someone throwing rocks at other rocks. Yeah, it's fine. So anyway, their parents come over and I'm thinking, I can go for that. I'm going to put an end to this bloody rock on rock action. No, both parents picked up a rock. The four of them chucking rocks at rocks. Yeah. I love adding that. I do.
I think they're going to go either. I'd have done that. I'd love throwing. What we're doing here, we're throwing rocks on rocks. I'm just throwing rocks at rocks. There's a scene of rock throwing an Amroth. Sometimes the pebbles shut it and it makes a fantastic noise. Yeah. Yeah, it's sort of almost like sort of being constantly shocked. Yeah, but I don't care about you. Okay. Walked from Aberde to Porthgain. Oh, okay. Porthgain, yeah. Porthgain was my highlight of the whole trip. What was it? I've not been there for a long time. A superb restaurant. Oh, really? Called, I believe, the shed. But it's just a little tiny little harbour for fishing boats. I think there's the remnants of a... Oh, it's bycindive, isn't it, Porthgain? Yeah, there's the remnants of a sort of 19th century building that it's sort of cut into. And there's a little shop for ice cream. There's a little pub. There's a little... The shed restaurant. Oh, where I had fish and chips and that's it. Yeah. And the man serving us fish and chips was so much fun.
Um, then went to St David's. Oh, love it. I walked around the cathedral with its sloping walls. I love St David's cathedral. Many school trips there. And then if you... The teachers always make us count the steps because there's one little half step right at the top. So the teacher would always say, how many was that? We'd always say, 99. You go, no, there's 100. Then he'd point up a half step. We all go, Master. Good times. You would go on a school trip to the same place twice. Oh, yeah. I don't know if anything I ever did that. No. Well, it's just, you know... Not a huge amount to do. There is lots to do. That's what I'm here to say. I love St David's. The Pembrokesha coast is spectacular. Oh, it's fantastic. Water as blue is this teal tension studio. Did you go to a Kamereglos, sort of curiously? Didn't get to Kamereglos. Okay. That was the one thing off your list that we missed. It's a natural cold, and the water's very, very clear. So if you're snorkeling and stuff, it's great from there. And I ate the following ice creams,
rewobbing custard times two, kind of bueno, bonafipai, and a fifth of a tub of Oreo ice cream left in the freezer of the Airbnb by previous tenants. Oh, I... Did you? I don't know if I would have done that. No, I wouldn't. What if they'd least it with, you know... What if there's an experiment? I'm eating poison, wasn't it? My B-A-U-X, which I am aware means multiple men. But my B-A-U-X drew a line in the sand about eating Oreo ice cream that had been left by previous tenants. Yeah. And I didn't. Because you got to ask yourself. I goled up the line in the sand. When did it, when, how long's it been there? You're assuming it was the previous tenants. No, I said previous tenants. It's been there from 1998. It's been there for a year. But what, but you'd eat year old ice cream in a freezer? I've never had ice cream in a freezer for a year. No, yeah, no, we... You know, I sort of don't know. I mean, no, that is my... Oh, it was John Ellis!
I thought, you know what, he knew it was him because... I do. It's true, why? You know, like, when Flogfrog's blink. And the eyelid, it comes down really slowly. He did a frog blink because he was so angry. Does he look like he's an of jungle frog? She, on the other foot there, John, I'll be getting tall and you on right now if that was my laptop. And you may be. So watch yourself. She was right. Sorry, sorry. That was a warning. Like when I did my cycling provisions, he test and the instructor purposefully fell off his bike on the way to us to prove a point. Absolutely mad thing to do. What? He crashed his bike to... to like make us realise you needed to wear a helmet. On concrete. Yeah, on a path. I'm not upset. What? What should I do? I've got many questions. What sort of dismount was it? Did you... Was it something he did a lot? No, there was a path between two bits of grass and there's... He basically ran the wheel into the gap
between the end of the path and the grass and then kind of wobbled and then fell off to one side onto the grass. You sure he wasn't covering himself? No. He just fallen off. No, he did do it on purpose. That's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. I think... I think proficiency is still a thing that it was... Yeah. Oh, to observe the cyclists on our road, you'd think not. Oh, there you go. Because I'm sure I did it in primary school. I did in year six. I failed it actually. I tell you what, line bikes or any bike higher system in any city need to have red light sensors on them that immobilise them and arrest the driver if they go through them. You could do that. You could have a sensor on the bike, this is. Have you got a job as a columnist at a right-wing paper, John? No, I've got a job as a columnist at common sense express. Yeah, that's what it'd be called. I don't see... That's new when he's invested in a new right-wing newspaper because, on the way, the wind is blowing. I don't think not wanting to be hit by a line bike is a political issue.
I think it's a personal safety issue. Yeah, of course. They weave through pavements and they know where helmets. Yeah. I've got more of a problem with electric scooters. Oh, 100 million percent. Which frighten me on a daily basis. What other thing is? And they also frighten me in other countries. No one is doing it properly. Like, I've been in France and Portugal and they've got them and you're like, come on me. They've got signs on the tube now saying, no e-scooters are allowed on the tube. And you kind of want to go, they're not allowed anywhere. They are illegal. Why, say, P.S. and they're illegal on public roads? That would be a very sweet... It would be a very sweet house style change for public notices if they are, I'd have been P.S. Like, P.S. Not just speed limit... No, not just speed limit applies. P.S. On this road, it's 60. Yeah. Because, sweet way of doing it, I think. Yeah. Unless, of course, the e-scooters
is part of a council certified trial, in which case they are allowed on public roads, but those ones are limited. Yeah. That would be a good choice, yeah. But they're illegal, Dave. Yeah, they are. But you do see them. But why don't... This was maybe where I stray into... Farther, Farther. ...with the caratry. Why don't we just have 10,000 police officers solely clumping down on e-scooters? Oh, no, police officers. Sniper's... Yeah. Punishable by death. Probably get elected on that ticket. You'd have a sniper on the top of every Santander. Of which... Of which there aren't enough now. So, another thing the snipers are doing are opening Santander. LAUGHTER Do you remember we used to do clocks since hyperbole, yeah? Yeah. For three weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't really work. No, it was just reading out... LAUGHTER ...jerry clocks and columns. It's good size. I'm light and radio. Light radio. Yeah, light from people to far. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were... Everyone loves him now, though. It wouldn't work now, because everyone would be like, you know, what... The farm's...
The farm's good. The farm did in the world are good. To be fair. I keep passing a bridge on the motorway, which says Clarkson for Prime Minister, under it, every time I... ...dietire body sinks. Yeah. Who wrote that? LAUGHTER And why? Someone who's got a lot of money, I would say. Yeah. Um... But he also, he's... It's not a part of his agenda. It's not like he said, I wouldn't mind... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. ...Primonista one day. But then, Frank Zapper used to be able to get Zapper for President T-Shirt, so maybe it's that. And that, to be fair, would also have been a disaster. Yeah. Maybe he's too busy writing riffs. Yeah. So that's all my whilst stuff. Oh, that's fantastic. You've had a great... So did you walk the Pembrokeshire Coastal Path? Yeah. Which is beautiful. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I've... This is a holiday I end. Heartily indoors. Yeah, it's very you. So good. You've got to fresh waterways. That's really nice as well.
No, did not. I mean, there's just so much to see and do. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's to... And also, you presumably had good weather. Oh, superb weather. Then he also had a nice bit of rain. But as I said, did I tell you, lust, hang on, who was on this show last week? Los Angeles. And you weren't here. I was here. And the week before, I was here, but Dave wasn't, to me, a Druth her school. Oh, so I just think... I hadn't told you about when we arrived at 10B. And there was an entire bar of people singing that song. What's it called, Dave? Do you think you're better on your own? Did it did? And sing it like it was the Welsh national anthem. At 4PM on this. It is a party tone. I think the local council tried to ban Hindus and stankdus. Could it be... Well, the entire community would collapse. Yeah. Because that's a big proportion of it. It's a tune, though. So Alice DJ. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. What an era for dance music.
That was my type of dance music here. That's a tune. So that concludes my experience of the Welsh countryside. I do know what? I'm not having a go at Wales, Ellis, for crying out loud. The coast gave me strong west coast of North Scotland vibes. Right. The difference is when you turn to the land, it's not dramatic, but it is provincial French. It's like being in sort of Normandy or Burgundy. Brittany or Brittany. Tell you what is nice. I don't know if you went that far north. Priscilla mountains in North Pumbachia. I would like to get to mountains in Wales. But the Priscilla mountains can't on the table, not a spectacular as Snowdonia Erruri. Or even the Brackenbeek, I would say. But they're nice. And it's a different kind of landscape. North Pumbachia is quite different to South Pumbachia. And if anyone has read in the press,
a harrowing story that recently, over the bank holiday, at large amounts of rotting food and human excrement, were left at beauty spots in Wales. That wasn't you. That wasn't me. I take only pictures, leave only memories, and sometimes are we. I didn't leave rotting food on the beach. Or feces. I've seen some, have you seen some drone shots of how festivals have been like? Oh yeah, reading festivals. Cream fields as well as another one. But then there's some that have really nailed it now. You see the drone shots and everyone takes every single drop. And it just looks like a day after. Every single drop of we. Every single drop of the wrong word isn't it? Just every single item of what was on the field. This should just be prosecuted for flight tipping back on the column again. £1000 fine. You got CCTV. You got the details, you got their tickets. You probably not got CCTV. You are a hard person to work out. I just think if you use the countryside, you have to respect the countryside.
Yeah, well I could get elected. At Tory party. No, I totally agree with that. I'm not a little, I'm not a little book. No, not. No, not a little book. Yeah. Famously not a little book. Well, not famous. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger than life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house. Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. This ad is sponsored by ZockDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything I Connect. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist but you have no idea where to start?
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That's why there's noom. They combine GLP ones to quiet the food noise with healthy habits that help you keep it quiet, even if you get off the meds. Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you, so you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off. NUME. Lose for Keeps. Get started at nume.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. I tell you someone else who's seen a lot of the Welsh countryside recently, Alice. Hugo Shombra. Okay. Hugo Bedroom. Hugo Bedroom in French. Yes, we've been talking about Hugo Shombra for some time now, because Hugo has begun a quest, which I have, I haven't poured score on it. No, I've poured. I think he pointed out that it was difficult. I poured doubt on it. Yeah. Hugo is travelling from Lanzand to Johnna Groats,
playing a round of golf every day until he breaks par. What happens if he doesn't? He has to come keep zigzagging up. Well, we will find out. Yeah. Because I'm delighted to say that in between the 18th and the 19th hall. We'll wink there out. Good to see you, Alice. Good to see you, Frigina. We have, well, we've got the sound of calling in our ears. This is real. This is lie. This is how it happens. This is how it happens. This is the instrument on the beach. This is real. This is, that's not far away. Who wants to be a millionaire, that doesn't it? Is that a sequel to Sex on the Beach? Anyway, we're joined by Hugo now. Hello, Hugo. I'm slightly struggling with my audio. I don't know if you can hear me. We can hear you. We can hear us. Quite faintly. Okay. At the moment. You were loud. Now you're all. Michael, engage the defator. Sorry. High software. Hugo, maybe if you turn off your video, it might help.
I can do that. That's a bit mean, but I can do that. We do. Well, we do like the visuals for the visuals. Okay. There is a fundamental floor with the way we record this podcast. And I will not rest until everyone has been sacked. And then I will solve the problem. I'll probably have to re-higher off a Michael. And Dave, to be honest. No, you can do it all. But you know, you do. So I will sacked. Oh, Elisabeth, you will be on a no-hours contract. Yeah. I'm glad I handled the recruitment. A significant reduction. I can't lie. You'd have so much paper wouldn't do. Okay, Michael's eighth setting of the quarter. How much compensation do we need to give it? It also unfair dismissal number 13 for Zof. And also, if Michael has moved on, this CV will look crazy when it sacked. Rehired, sacked. Rehired, sacked. Rehired. Sorry, I was employed momentarily.
We're delighted to say that Hugo joins us now. Hugo, how are you doing? Hello, Dave. Hello, John. Hello, Elis. Hello. I'm good. I'm in a retail park outside in Venice. Oh, I may have been to the same one. Have you had a cry yet? Not yet. Is that on the agenda for my afternoon? Go to the Costa. Can't be super drug. A good location. Or there's a Hollywood bowl behind me. No, I recommend a Costa drive-thrucks. They can hear it in your voice, but they can't see it in your face. Now, but yes, I'm good. Not on the verge of tears currently. Hugo has discussed your traveling from Lanzand to John A Grotes, playing golf every day, trying to break par, and I've poured doubt on the project. The fact you're even in Venice doesn't fill me with confidence. All have I done it already, and I'm just enjoying the rest of the trip. No, no, no, I haven't. I'm just in in Venice. It's been a hard challenge.
When you first responded to my email, John, you did pour doubt, scorn, and other things on my challenge. I was playing quite well at that point. The weather was nice, and I thought, this is so doable. John doesn't know what he's talking about. Since then, I've had some moments where it's been quite tough. I think we all wonder what we would be like under immense sporting pressure. And I'm quickly finding out that I'm not a mentality monster. I'm not a big game player. I've been under par at points, and yeah, I've struggled to convert. Well, also, those people who do so well under pressure, the all-time greats of golf, your Faldo's, your McElroy's, etc. Tend not to be sleeping in tents for a month. Yeah. No, they don't, although who knows? Maybe McElroy and his autobiography when it comes out will reveal that he has been in some sort of hyperbaric tent.
Yeah, the tent has been interesting. I would say it's broadly been fine. I'm quite a good sleeper. It's not very sound proof. At the start, it got very cold at night, and very hot in the mornings as soon as the sun comes up. It's not very waterproof. Thankfully, there hasn't much rain in the UK recently. But yeah, I don't know why you would make a tent that's not waterproof, but... I don't know why you buy a tent that's not waterproof. You go. Well, yeah. You go. I thought it would be anyway. Yes, Ellis. How are you in yourself? Can I give you a rough timeline of events? In January, I got engaged. No one was expecting that. No one was expecting that. And in August, I left home to go on a camping expedition to try and shoot a golf score. So I think there's something that some mental health professionals would have to say about that combination, that sequence of events.
So not just meant... Not just meant Chipper, to be honest. He's so nice. You've made it right. I'm not downland. So... Going to go to your Baptist church. Not just a mental health profession as well, because I've got a list here of the food outlets you've been using. Starbucks, 21. Subway four, Burger King five, McDonald's eight, Greg seven, Papagion seven, Costa five. Again, that's not what McElroy's nutritionist would recommend. Seven, half a John as well. The problem is I've got quite a lot on my plate, not to sort of mix my metaphors. In terms of playing golf, traveling, trying to edit videos. And so going for the easiest options and cheap options has... Yeah, it's been maybe not great for me long term. A lot of beige food, struggling to find vegetables on a regular basis. But hopefully I can get it done achieve the goal and then go home to some sort of home-cooked
food at some point. Okay. Well, you mentioned that you got engaged in January. We've also had, I don't know if you've heard some correspondence with your fiance, Lily. Hugo, did you hear that? I did hear that, yes. I didn't actually know she had written that or what she'd written. But it was very funny. I very much enjoyed that. Because... Lily, there's been a lot of... Lily was very... well, good you go on. Lily did seem to have been told a slightly less doubt-filled tale from yourself than for me as regards to the achieveability of the task. Well, I was very optimistic when I left. So I'd... Clearly that optimism had rubbed off on her or maybe I'd convinced her that it was very doable. And at this point, it feels somewhat less doable. So, yeah, I mean, currently, she's... I mean, you know, her email was very funny.
I think there was some pros for comic effect in there. She has broadly been very encouraging of my trip. I think she quite likes having me out of the flat. She, as soon as I told her of the plan, she was like, yeah, yeah, go, go. As long as it takes. And she keeps telling me how neat and tidy the flat is while I'm not there. John, you are the only person who is really keen to hammer home the integrity of the challenge. Getting an ad for you from you on the England Golf App late one night. Yeah, I've been checking out your scores here, but currently, Lily is on the call. And she does exist. She does exist. Lily, are you there? Yes, I am here. Lily, could you... You're having an important work call this up? Yeah, precisely. So, Lily, what was the version of events given to you when you go left for this venture? Well, it was build...
It was build as a work trip. And a relatively brief one. I run a real work at the end of the summer. I think Scene Hugo probably not working for some four weeks. He's also driven 3,261 miles. But he won't be able to claim... I know. Well, no one's paying him to do this. He's just gone mad, Dave. HMRC will take that into account. Yeah, he could claim he's an influencer and he's making consent for his channels. Is that not... I don't know. I don't know. Where the line is there. Leave it with me. Okay. So, Lily, how long did... Hugo say he would probably be away? Well, he sort of said end of summer maybe. I was going away for a couple of weeks. So, it sort of builds not too long after I came back. That sounds quite vague for a relationship, end of summer maybe. It's like when the top score's lost. That does sound like what people would say in the sort of Victorian area when they went off for their sort of
European tour. I may be back next spring. It depends how Vienna is. So, Hugo, what happens if you get to Johnna Groats and you haven't broken par? There's some great golf in the Shetland Islands. And then in the summer. Yeah, there's further north to explore. There's what? There's further north to explore. I really wish we weren't having this conversation with Liz. What's the club because you have a handicap of seven? What's the closest you've come to breaking par, Hugo? I was two under par with four holes to play. And a couple of them were quite easy holes as well. And I think that was just a mental collapse. Well, my argument was that would be that because you're focused on score, when you're scoring well, you will tense up. When you're scoring badly, you will give up.
Thanks, John. Has your golf improved, Hugo? It definitely has. And it definitely did. I went through a real purple patch in Wales. And then sort of into the northwest of England a bit. And since I've been in Scotland, there has been a serious increase in the amount of wind since I've got here. And that's how those burger kings might be taking their toll. That's really possible too. Lily, what are your plans for the autumn? Well, I might have to come and visit the Shetland Islands. If that's the only way I can see my field. Lily, what in terms of how the rest of the year is panning out and dare I say, as we move into 2027, is there a point when your tone might change here? You seem very accepting and very relaxed at this stage. If you kind of mapped out a point when maybe the narrative changes a little bit from your side
and you start to maybe suggest Hugo comes home. Well, you see the flat is very clean right now. And I'm having a lot of peace and quiet and reading a lot of books, which I enjoy. So I don't know. Maybe a couple of months. I guess when the when the when the weather's kind of kicks in and we actually need to make some decisions. This is actually the way you're so good at the wedding admin. Yeah, nicely played. You certainly shoot under par for relationship communication. And I am beginning to think this is the relationship I've been looking for my home. This is one I can make stick. But okay, Hugo, two practical questions. Who's marking your card and how do you afford this? I did mention, John, that you were the person who's most concerned about the integrity of the challenge. So sometimes I have played with people, but sometimes I have played on my own.
And I know you said in the last episode that that doesn't count. But if we don't have our word, if we don't have our integrity, then what separates a man from beast? Well, it's neither to do with word or integrity. It's to do with what counts as a qualifying score. You need to have your cards. I don't need it to be a qualifying score. I don't count towards my handicap. I just need to do it. I just need to know that I have done it. So some of these scores I'm looking at, England Golf, you've asked a friend to attest your score who wasn't there. I prefer not to speak. I'm not answering. I'm not sure, but if you could do that in court. Yeah, yeah, I won't be answering this one. No, I can't. I'm a radio press conference. No, comment. Hugo, your DNA is on the steering wheel. They've got CCTV, if you carrying the cases of, I don't know, buzz balls out of the long this. No comment. You still within your rights to say no comment.
Yeah. And I mean, the two are going to take that into account, the one thing. I used to have a YouTube golf channel called Bad Golf with Alex Horn. And every sort of... Come on, it's still alive. It's still there. It's still there. Every so often, like a manager of a golf club would go, oh, great, that's really cool. Cundown will sort you out two T times, you know, no charge will get you a buggy. And that was great. And most of the time, they'd be like, yes, 120 pounds, please. And a buggy is an extra 40 pounds. I'm like, okay, so we're not making any money on this one. Are you having to pay for the rounds of golf? It varies. I would say that the clubs have been very accommodating and friendly. And that I would not have been able to do this or play this many rounds, if I'd had to pay at all of them. And is that a joint bank account with Lily at this stage, or a separate bank account? It's just a separate bank account.
Lily, what level of the wedding fund decreasing do you call back your fiance? Immunately. One pound, I think. Okay. Well, I wish you all the best Hugo. Lily, I am very envious of your life. It sounds like you've kind of got it made as long as Hugo is somehow independently wealthy. Yeah. And good luck Hugo. Keep in touch. Well, keep in touch. I'll be following you because I don't want to give spoilers for your Instagram account because it's very fun to watch. But is it safe to say there's lots more videos to come? There are. Yeah, Jon, you're also concerned about the speed of my video uploading. It's it's yeah. Yeah. You don't know. But it's a good doggo on Instagram. Hugo.goL thing on Instagram. And the videos are actually really good. It's not easy to edit. I mean, it's an absolute nightmare editing golf rounds. Yeah. It's probably one of the most difficult things in the realm of video editing to do.
But to do it all on one phone from a tent and to make it like digestible and exciting is a huge achievement. When you're trying to digest your seventh Greg's. And week. But Hugo's handicap has gone down. He's now a 4.1 and two of the rounds have been one over par, which is devastatingly close. One of which featured, I believe you go, double bogey on the last. Yeah, it did. It did. That must have hurt more than a thousand sons. Yeah. And the good thing is I've got plenty of time on my own to just think about it. Obviously it didn't think what if. Well, thank you, Hugo. Thank you, Lily. Feel free either of you to get in touch with any updates. And maybe Hugo, what we'll do is if you fail, we'll play around a golf together. And that sounds very nice. I'll come up. But I won't fail. Well, if you do just in case I'll come up to Johnny Groats,
we'll play your break par, you'll come back. And I'll stay there forever until I die frowning at the sea. Good luck. Cheerio. Well, yeah, cheerio. Bye. Bye, Lily. Love you, Lily. Oh, that was nice. Oh, there we go. And I love me. Yeah. And I am loved. And I am loved. And you're worthy and you deserve love. I deserve love. We should call the podcast that is the podcast title John deserves love. John deserves. We all deserve. Everyone deserves. Everyone deserves. There is only love. Love is the only option. Oh, no. What else you got? Football. Hate. Actually, there's lots of other options. Being numb. Being numb. While speaking of love, let's talk to Adrian. Anyway, go. You're enjoying the new football season. Because you do like the football as well as the balance sheets, don't you? Oh, absolutely. I mean, I'm, I'm, there's daft as any other football.
I work in Liverpool and I live in Brighton. Just to just go, I've got a season ticket there. And I can use up every week. That's how dumb football fans are. But football fans understand that, that daftness that we have. Yeah. I'll get cute and my wife. Football finance guru. Thank you very much indeed. Ellis and John. Join us now. They're coming up next, although today the part of John will be, will, will, won't be played by John. Interestingly, interesting that. How are you both? Very good. Thanks. Is that cute? Kiran, does he do the Swiss rumble account on Twitter? No, he doesn't. He's our version of it. I think they respect each other, but underneath. I think they're probably sworn enemies. I can't get over the Brighton to Liverpool commute. Surely that's just so catastrophic on your mental health and time. Time rich. After a, after a, after a, after a, I had this argument with a psychologist yesterday,
actually, I don't know whether or long return to where you live from, for football match, from the home games, he's good or bad. I think it makes you worse as a fan. What do you think? You've got more time to, you've got more time to, I wish you got more time, more time to stew on it. You once drove to Sunderland from Camarthen to watch a Nell Nell. Yeah, it was Carl Isle. Yeah, I mean, it was a nice point. No, no, no, no, no. Playing shapes. Yeah, with the bar. We hit the, we did hit the bar in the second half. And did that sustain the chat for the six hour drive? The bar hit. Do you know what? What sustained the chat was I got given a homemade parking ticket. By someone, I'd parked us at someone's house and they'd made like a parking ticket, obviously that it wasn't legally binding. I'd, with a calligraphy pen that just said, please never do this again. So that sustained the chat for about two hours. Do you know what I'm with? When, when I was living in Cardiff in the early 90s, I got together with the, the South Wales branch of the West Brom supporters club.
And there was a lab from Bridgend there who told me that when he got back home to Bridgend from West Brom once, he was so furious he'd stood for so long that when he got home, he took out the battleship. He'd very skillfully carefully and stakingly made with matches. He took it into the garden with beautiful things, sprayed it with light of fuel and torched it. Wow, he was staking so many of the team. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, it is um, I would, I've got to say this, just watch it on the old telly. Yeah, well, that's how you're different. Isn't it? That's the same. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger than life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house. Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic,
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That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's UPWORK.com. Dave, there are snipers on every lookout tower. Yeah. On the Sunday. There is discontent within the camp. Yeah. I am tiring. You read in the same sheet. I am tiring of the manual labor. Sure, I'm a conscientious objector, but I don't deserve this. Were you talking? We're in the ring fence section. Yeah. I've been ring fence. Oh, I see. Okay, cool. So what they did with conscientious objectors in the wall. I would say. Oh, nice. Do work on little farms and camps and stuff. Oh, right. Okay. Read Keith Vaughn's journals. They're superb. I will, actually. He was an artist in the 30s, 40s and 50s and spends a lot of his...
A conch. A conch. A conch. Growing tomatoes. Yeah, spends a lot of his journal detailing a futuristic sex device he's invented. Then I'm definitely reading this. Which is some form of black box, but he's for explicit. It was like based on 1940s technology. Yeah, imagine like... He's a wind-up. HG Wells's time machine, but it's a sex device. Okay, then I'm actually putting an astray next to his name. I'd put a question mark next to the whole thing, I guess. What was your idea? And I won't spoil it, but the most incredible end to a set of journals you will ever read. Okay. I'm actually writing... There's a big story. I'm still writing around Keith Thorne's journal stuff. Yeah. And talking about incredible ends to incredible content, of course. Thank you, Dave. I'm sexy content as well. I'm about to the sexiness of Keith Thorne's name. Keith Thorne. Keith Thorne's book. There is sexiness aplenty in one of our recent Eskipades, isn't there? I wouldn't say sexiness aplenty.
I've talked about being aroused and then we make some pots. I think you skip out one huge bit in the middle of our latest adventure. Well, let's save that to people for people to watch on patreon.com. Fordslash Ellison John. The new adventures of Ellison John is up. It is audacious. It is... Created. It comes out better on Cumber than I expected. Yes, I'm better than it sounds. And it's better than it sounds. I've thoroughly enjoyed it. It is one of my favourite ones in terms of the... Yeah, yeah, because of what happens throughout the episode. Genuinely is one of my favourite adventures that we've done so far. It's one of my favourite, mainly because even though the service station one should have been great, it was great. And that many services in a day leaves you with a very empty feeling, which I couldn't shift from... That's god, I was out in Norton Canes on my own at half, seven at night. I had a lot of questions. Yeah, on the way back, you don't feel like you're contributing to society. No.
And they're not destinations. I would disagree with that. Oh. I went to Becken's Field yesterday for a wee. What? Even though you were in your house. No, it was traveling back from therapy and really needed a wee. Okay, but that's not a destination. Well, it's a wee destination. In my own glad it's there. Yeah, but you just needed it to be... It was convenient. Yeah, it was great. Otherwise, it was probably on a slip route. Yeah, but like a cinema as a destination or a restaurant, but you haven't got a Becken's Field just for the day. Shall we? Yes, Dave. Focus, please. Sure. On today's adventure release. Yes. I do hope there's a montage, Dave. Oh, well, as luck would have it, here is a montage of Ellis James and John Robbins. Going pottery-making. Why are we in Camden, Dave? John, we meet in your dealer. Are we meeting Big Mark? He never went as far as Camden. Have you got a record deal? No, I've not got a record deal. No. We're not doing drugs.
We're heading inside for pottery-making. Social pottery. Ah, is it our hendu? It's not. Is it Ellis's 50th birthday? Are we married? Are we going through the menopause? I'm going to make an ashtray with skulls and robots snakes coming out of the skulls and knives on it. I'm going to make the first clay tennis racket. Yeah. Dave, I should warn you, pottery makes me horny. So, how are we going to navigate that? We shouldn't have worn those light-shot. The wheel will cover a multitude of sins and that's great. And it is a sin. Oh, it is. It's horny as you bloody well like. It is a sin. Uh, we will make some pottery with a master potter. Oh, wow. And they'll give you a pottery lesson. Oh, will I give them a pottery lesson? I would love to see it. And you see where you have a bit of a wobbly rim?
Yeah. Well, we'll need to try. It's compressing the rim. And good grief. I know. It's an enormous temptation as a comedian and as a human to say, sounds like my love life a lot. Yeah. But I'm not going to do that, Jack, but I need you to know that I've seen every single occasion. Swazy. More. I do. What we need to do with directed A.C. of approval. Steadily more here, D. Horn directed A.Vision. Hornography. Is recreate my sexual awakening. The famous. In 1990. Just going to take her up to a steady three quarters. Come on, come on, little girl. I've got you. You're in safe hands now. I think you should be. Look at her.
It's going to be okay. Don't you dry up now, baby girl. Pop us home. I can still still. You are 15 minutes for the paint challenge of Elis and John Go pottery making. Your time starts now. It's not so the high octane like a hundred meters, is it? You're just capy under. You're trying to gently paint to your pottery. Your hando continues now. That's an hour ahead. I'm not giving away that ball that based on that. The truth of the matter here is we strictly pull both of you with a glazing. Instant disqualification and capital punishment. Why it is, but there's a moral issue. Why don't we just break them both in time?
Well, why don't we give them both the way, Dave? Oh, that's nice. This is lovely. I love this one. Where will you put your hummus? I'll just have to spoon it straight. Like I'm saying, it'll go all over. You'll cup it in my hands at parties. I know there's been an awful lot of speculation online about my actions. And I'd like to tell you all my side of the story. Now we go. Dave, that feels like someone should now be going on Netflix. It fell huge, though. It was a big Amazon Prime. A lot goes into the app now. What is Ellis apologizing for? You'll just have to wait and sit. By the way, at the minute, there is a fantastic trailer up on Instagram. Follow Ellis and John for the trailer. It's a lot of stuff. It's a lot of... This is one of my favorites because so much goes on. It's like a property v-show this one because so much happens. There's so many beats to it as they were saying. No wonder we're not breaking even.
Are they creative? Creatively, you're in the black. But I don't care about that. Don't you know? We're different. We set the bar high. We set the bar high and spent too much on the bar. That's why they don't do high-dollabra gold bars. They'll have to be financially in the black. It's a hell of an app. The trailer is up on Instagram. Of course, the actual full app is now on Patreon. Yes. So you can sign up. Ellis and John. Patreon.com forward slash Ellis and John. And I am going to... I say this. I will do a personal meet and greet with anyone who signs up 10,000 of their friends. Okay. Cool. Were you? Yes. Okay. So we are giving... For five minutes in silence or two minutes with chat. There you go. There's the cafe apps. There's always a couple of cafe apps. It's gonna be so funny to do. You know that you get those meet and greet tickets.
Gigs. You can do it, but they won't speak to you. You just have an extra. We're giving both parts away. You can have a selfie in silence. Yeah. I'm looking at the pots now. They're in the corner of the studio. We're giving them both the way, aren't we, Ellis? Yes. We're giving mine away on Instagram and we're giving John's away on Patreon to find out how to win either pot head to our Patreon and Instagram. As Dave said, the trailer went up on Instagram earlier today, but you can watch it now with his live on our Patreon page. So please go there if you remember and do consider signing up if you're not. They're very good pots because one of them is, um, vanished and one of them is tarnished. Interesting. We say no more. We say no more. We say no more. We say no more. Say it to the sea, Captain. Patreon.com and the seven wins. Slash, Ellis and John. Duff the blow. I'm trying to wrap up. Vine, I to the foreshore at band twain. The end. Now on this show, we are always pushing boundaries. Yeah. Just when you think this show is dead in the water
and use internet forums to express that, which is your right. Yeah, that's democracy. That's democracy for you. Just when you think our backs will break with the final straw of a dearth of ideas, we revolutionize radio again. We turn podcasting on its head. You're the same sheet as me. Never. Never, you would never would they trust you with this sheet. Oh, this sheet has the keys to the kingdom. Oh, it's a John sheet. Is it? Yeah, it's a John sheet is. I mean, it's not. I don't know if you ever watch documentaries about Bletchley Park. It's just a series of glyphs. Numero, Alvin, New Maricot symbols, the odd omega, the odd theta, the odd gamma knocking about some Arabic script. And from that, if that were paints, from that easel of words and glyphs,
I paint my word masterpiece. Yeah. And that's. And that's why this was such a stressful embarkation. Yeah, well, a lot of you have to translate it from the hieroglyphics. Yeah, but a lot of people from MI5 enjoyed it. Ellis, two weeks ago, you told us you'd never eaten prunes. We've got the clip if you want to hear the clip. Well, yeah, let's hear the clip. Roll the clip. When I read that email, I did look into getting an ice cream maker because I really fancy to prune ice cream. I think that would work really well. I don't think I've ever had a prune. You've never had a prune. No, I've had dates and figs. Oh my god, you've had everything but. And prisons and seltanas. Prunes are great because of the laxative links. I'm always worried that I'll basically put a prune on my plate and then lose the next two days of my life to diarrhea. Ellis, kiss goodbye to your expectations. Okay.
Because we've got some prunes for you. You know, I had figs two days ago. Well, sort of prepare my body, but I didn't know this was happening. Yeah. So that's it. That's it. Wait for those prunes and so on. What would any other podcast do? They'd probably just sit around the office going, turns out Ellis is never eaten prunes. That's interesting. Let's do the same old BS. Not this podcast Ellis. You're going to try prunes next episode. Which is what I'm not doing in that. It's easing out. I don't know. We're not mad. What's he teasing me trying to prune for the first? Yes, that's because we think vertically, horizontally and in 4D. Have you list them or something? No, the tin still, the lid still on the tin. Okay, we'd tap for the mics. People know it's actually there. There it is. Sign sealed delivered. So I can confirm that if you listen to the next episode, Ellis will eat some prunes for the first time. So the tin is there, the flagship app. Prune a Gedden.
Prune a Gedden. We're teasing content across the podcast episodes Ellis. So the two days there will go out on five live. The following Friday, I'm going to be trying prunes for the first time. Will Ellis turn out to be a prude or a prunetic? See you next week. Lights out. Checkmate. Game over. Game set and mat. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think it'll be like a like an axe being swung to all to screen, like in a trailer, then blackout. Bosh. Okay. Great. Well, I'm excited. I'm excited. I hope I like them. I'm sure you'll like my love them. Because it's not very nice to eat food you don't like. No, don't worry for the, for the, and rightly so, people don't love smacking of lips into the mic. We'll be careful with all the hours. I'll hold the mic away. Yeah, I'll do our dust and the corn only prunes and I'll shout my verdict. No, no, we need you on the cameras. He'll eat them on the toilet and we'll have a, a boom, a boom mic over the top to protect his dignity. Yeah. We, we, we live a ditch on the toilet as the prunes take effect.
Is it that? Because I, I've had few prunes in my life. Is it that instant? No, you'll be able to. I mean, if you, if you ate like three tins because you'd read an article that they were good for you, then you might be in a bit of trouble. But it's not, it's not like taking a laxity. But I think, I think, I think polo mince, I thought it was a fix, don't they? Yeah, if you ate three two three three three five three five gays of polo mince. Yeah. Or chewing gum. So I've, I've never had a prune and you've had very few prunes in your life for as John's prune boy. No, but this is, this is all about you. I don't need to eat any. I don't need to eat any. We need to get two more tins of prunes. I mean, why are we doing this? Why are we, why are we doing this on the radio? We should be doing this in a stadium. Yeah, we should be doing this right. This should be for Netflix. We should have done this at Wendley. Yeah. We got the Royal Abba Hall around the corner. Oh, well, why do you do it there? And I could have just eaten prunes. You for Royal Abba Hall will become quats. Yeah. It'll be 10 different fruits. So this has never had right that down, Dave. What? 10 different fruits. The others do. Do a sour soup. We could do a, a custard apple. Never had that. Never had that. We could do a mangosteen. Never had that. We could do a dragon fruit, definitely.
Oh, we could do white dragon fruit. OK. Which is disgusting. Great. But looks like the best thing on earth. OK. White dragon fruit. Yeah. I mean, and regular dragon fruits do. But they're hugely disappointing flavor. Oh, yeah. I've had eaten a pair since 1990. I could give that. Really? What? I don't like pairs. OK. I think pairs are right. Anyway, tune into Tuesday's app. Tune into Tuesday's app. Oh, no. I'm nervous. Are we ending it on that cliffhanger, then, Dave? We are. Yeah. We may as well. OK. We'll do Matt. We'll do Matt Dad on Tuesday as well. Oh, no. Oh, no. No. Got a big show on Tuesday. It's all, it's all to come. OK. Oh, in fact. Go on. One of the mad dads is prune-related again. Yeah. Yeah. So do I could, I could eat loads of things that have a laxative effect? That'll be love, couldn't it? I could have prunes. I could have a big black coffee. Smok a fag and a car. A car. And I'll make you really nervous. And then you have to do your exams. You could chase me. Yeah. Yeah.
You could chase me. We could see it. I can ask myself on the radio. And somehow this happens. Wake you up at 3.30 for an early flight. OK. That always does. That always gives me a tricky feeling. And I can go abroad and change my diet for a bit. Yeah. And you're on a train to the airport where the toilet is out of order. Yeah. OK. All right. We'll stick that on the radio. That would be like, I mean, it would be obviously awful. But sort of an episode of Jackass. Oh, yeah. Where all four of them have been laced with all those monstrosities and just the camera following each one. All I've ever mentioned to get to a toilet. I saw a clip of the week of Jackass where he gets locked in a porter cabin that's just full of poo. Oh, I don't want to pull the pool upon a crate and then gets turned upside down. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. And you could die. Yeah. Yeah. All my infections. Got tipped in a port leu at a festival but 20 years ago, all rubble business.
However, not for me. Those go pros that we have on our heads looking at us for our adventures. For the Ellis James Diarrhea Challenge. Ah! Plus CCTV. I don't want CCTV. That's horrible. Thought CCTV in a public toilet. Following three people into one of the messes themselves, the pilot could be in a big field. I think this, no, I think we've got better issues. We should be doing this at the Etihad. That would be absolutely bussied. Right. Well, I think we've built, we've built it up enough. There's nowhere else to go with prunes, of course. So we should say goodbye. Yes. Thank you very much, listening. We'll be back on Saturday with the bureau and then on Tuesday. Goodbye. Bye-bye. He said it had never been done. He thought it was the impossible dream. What's this? Don't, don't, don't. Now is all that about to change forever. One man must be able to have ever fun. One piece of dried fruit.
One question. Will he espouse himself again like he did in Butte Park after too many red bulls? From the creators of the Conry Connection. Made up games. And John walked around an Audi. Get ready for... Ellis eats a prune. In podcast feeds from Tuesday, eight to seven. Ellis eats a prune as a significant production and association with prunes. Oh, God. It's a living, isn't it? It's a living. I was worked today, dear. All right. It's a price in a man's magic trailer for Ellis trying to prune on the radio. That's a record I'm to my daughter's wardrobe for the acoustic. It's not right. It's funny. In a small room. It's for the association with prunes.
Michael, great at it, by the way. If you'd... Great at it. If you told me walking off my first ever stand-up open mic gig that I'd be doing this, I'd have said, yeah, fine. But what is it and how did we get there? I mean, I'd rather do that than drive to Manchester for 10 minutes for no money in a mini that gives me a bad back. I don't... I'm not saying no. It's better. I'm saying why. Yeah. There we go. Well, she'll listen. People have that is watch the spike in listens for prunes on Tuesday. So Dave, what I want to see on the carer is that trailer set to footage from me, handing the prunes, Ellis eating the prunes, Ellis reacting to the prunes. Reacting. Wow! I love kids carer word. That's its own clip of the year. This is great. It's great. It's great. That's great. No one posts a grid anymore.
Me. We do, don't we? Joe, we're like... No, no, no, no. Like media Joe's with us today. We do post a grid now. No, but in terms of like young people. Young people don't do that. Young people's grids are empty, but their stories are very, very busy. So it means something, doesn't it? Oh, big time. If you're going to... But even, I'm not sure it does, because you look at Lord people's grids and it's like lockdown. No. And you're like, oh, well, a good guy. He's still with him. Yeah. Yeah. Is the Bioro tomorrow, isn't it? With loose sanders, of course. Yeah. So, Lewin tomorrow for the Bioro due to the unique way that they are recorded. And I listened to those shows and I... Hulled with laughter and I considered quitting. Now, goodness... No, it's fantastic. Yeah, Ruth was great as well. I listened to Ruth's episode. It's good. We've got a great subsbench. Good on some kind. Strength in depth. It's Michael Lewin and Ronaldo. Yeah, on the bench. On the bench. Okay, bye.
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