607: Dr. Meg Meeker - How to Raise Tough, Resilient, Hard-Working, & Kind Children (Author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters)

Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

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Dr. Meg Meeker has spent more than thirty years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine and counseling teens and parents. Dr. Meeker is a popular speaker and bestselling author of several books, including the national bestseller, STRONG FATHERS, STRONG DAUGHTERS; THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS; and BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS.

Notes:

 

• One of the best things fathers can do is raise their daughters' expectations of life. That will directly affect how your daughter talks, how she dresses, how well she does in school, and even what sports or musical instruments she chooses to play. You can help her set goals, help her define a higher purpose for her life, and as a result, her self-esteem will skyrocket. And it will bring you closer, because she'll recognize you as a leader and an ally, helping her to chart a better course.
• Don't post anything about your kids on social media. It makes them think they are your trophy to show off. And be mindful of how you talk about them to others. Do you only focus on their accomplishments? They are listening to what you say about them…
• Be the man you want her to marry – See it, do it, teach it. What are the 5 strongest character qualities you want your children to have? How are you showing that to them every day? You are setting the standard. They are watching carefully. You will create what is quote, "normal," in their life. Are you living with integrity, working hard, not speaking poorly behind others backs? You are showing them how they should behave. If you were watching yourself from outside your body, would you like what you see? We have to live it every day.
• Your daughter sees you (her dad) as her hero. The smartest, strongest, best person in the world. 
• Kids want their dad's approval. "I want attention just for being me, not for performing a sport." "You don't just love them. You love their company."
• Always do good work, but don't boast about it.
• "He believed in me." -- The power of the belief that Meg's dad had in her.
• Teach her Humility - Genuine humility is the starting point for every other virtue. But teaching it is tricky. Your daughter needs to feel unique and important in your eyes. Humility doesn't make sense unless it's modeled. To fulfill her potential, your daughter needs to understand who she is, where she comes from, and where she's going. Humility is seeing ourselves honestly… Self-centeredness is a problem if we base our entire lives around our kids wants and desires.
• Clarify your morals (without apology) – If you want her to live by a code or set of values, you must first live by them. If you don't want her to lie, then you should never lie. If you don't want her to use cuss/swear words, then you should not use them. If you don't want to her to drink, then don't normalize it in your house. She wants to see conviction and leadership in her father.
• Teach your kids to serve in a soup kitchen. Be in service of others. Gain perspective by seeing how others who are less fortunate than you live.
• Embrace them when they fail.
• The dad plants the default in the minds of their children. What do you want that default behavior to be?
• How to approach your daughter's boyfriends?
  • Shake their hands
  • Be curious, ask questions
  • Invite them over for dinner