655: Morgan Housel - The Simple Formula For Happiness, Betting on Others, Gaining Independence & Purpose, Family Vacation Secrets, The Art of Spending Money, & The Death Bed Lesson Every Leader Needs to Hear

Go to www.LearningLeader.com for full show notes

The Learning Leader Show with Ryan Hawk

Morgan Housel is the New York Times Bestselling author of The Psychology of Money, Same As Ever, and The Art of Spending Money. His books have sold over 10million copies and have been translated into more than 60 languages.

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Notes:

• Morgan dedicated The Art of Spending Money to "Kellie the Unicorn" (his sister Kellie) after she was diagnosed with colon cancer and asked him to fulfill her long-running joke request. Sometimes book dedications "mean nothing to the reader, but they can mean everything to the author."
• People Who Bet on You - Brian Richards (Motley Fool boss) bet on Morgan when he didn't have to, providing unconditional support for a mediocre college writer. Craig Shapiro (Collaborative Fund) pursued Morgan for months to join his tiny VC firm as a full-time blogger when it wasn't a business necessity.
• What money can't buy - Morgan once heard a story from a priest that he'll never forget… It's from a priest who delivers the last rites in hospitals. He described the difference between what kids say to their parents when they're about to die. The priest tells them to tell their parents what they're most grateful for… In families with lots of problems, the kids usually talk about something that costs money. In the best families, the ones with solid relationships, the kids say the same thing every time. "Thank you for believing in me."
• Making vs. Spending Money - "There are literally tens of thousands of books written on how to make money... There are virtually no books written about how to spend money." Most people assume spending needs no guidance, but wealthy people often demonstrate this isn't true.
• The Internal vs. External Scoreboard - Donald Crowhurst (fake sailor who killed himself seeking external validation) vs. Bernard Moitessier (expert sailor who quit before winning to avoid attention and live authentically). Modern society pushes us toward Crowhurst's external validation while we actually want Moitessier's internal satisfaction.
• The simplest formula for a pretty nice life: independence plus purpose. The independence to do what you want, and the wisdom to want to do meaningful things.
• Chuck Feeney's Wealth Example - The duty-free store billionaire first lived the stereotypical rich lifestyle, realized he didn't like it, then chose to live modestly and give away $10 billion. "I was happy when I was giving money away, and I was not happy when I wasn't giving money away."
• Every Dollar of Debt - "Every dollar of debt that you have is a piece of your future that someone else owns." Debt narrows the range of outcomes you can endure in an unknowable future.
• Money and Happiness Research - Recent studies show that earning more money only helps if you're already happy, joyful, and content. For depressed, anxious people, more money doesn't improve well-being. "It leverages whoever you are in either direction."
• What Money Can't Buy - The book is "40% about how to spend money to make yourself happier and 60% about realizing what money cannot do for you." Relationships, health, and personal fulfillment must come first.
• "Comedians are the best thought leaders because they understand how the world works, but they want to make you laugh rather than making themselves feel smart."
• "Nobody gives a shit about anything other than how you make them feel."
• Vacation - Morgan realized while building sandcastles with his kids on the beach in Maui (10/10 experience) that building Legos at home with them was almost as good (9/10). The real value was "uninterrupted time with my family," which required travel to avoid daily distractions but pointed to what actually mattered.
• Ambition - Morgan's career drive crystallized while kayaking past $25 million mansions on Lake Washington in 2010: "I need to work harder. I want one of those one day." This wasn't envy but ambition - though he notes the line between inspiration and envy is thin, especially once you know the person.
• A high savings rate is not "saving" but is "purchasing independence." Each saved dollar buys freedom to handle life's unknowable future without someone else's schedule dictating his choices.
• Why Spending Is Complicated
  • People try to fill emotional holes with material purchases
  • Society tells us what we should like, which may not align with our actual preferences
  • We chase peer comparison rather than personal satisfaction
  • We overestimate the social rewards of nice possessions
• The Independence Framework
  • Save money not for retirement but for freedom to handle uncertainty
  • Debt narrows your options when life throws curveballs
  • Independence means being able to do what you want, with whom you want, for as long as you want
• The Internal Scorecard
  • "No one's watching. No one's thinking about you."
  • When people notice your possessions, they're either imagining themselves having them or envying you for them
  • Neither response gives you the social validation you're seeking
  • Use money to buy independence rather than others' admiration
• Relationship Investments
  • Focus on what creates "uninterrupted time with people you love"
  • Consider how purchases enable deeper connections (bigger kitchen for family dinners) vs. impressing others
  • Remember that belief and support matter more than material provision
• Purpose
  • Morgan's purpose became clear the moment he became a father: "There. That's it... I don't matter anymore. That's the only thing that matters right there." Purpose can be parenthood, work, religion, or community, but it needs to be bigger than yourself.
• "Comedians are the best thought leaders because they understand how the world works, but they want to make you laugh rather than making themselves feel smart." They deliver profound psychological and social insights while focusing on how they make you feel, not their own status.
• Regret -- Gerontologist Carl Pillemer interviewed 1,000 Americans aged 90-100. Not a single one said, "I wish I earned more money" or "I wish I worked harder." Nearly all said "I wish I spent more time with my kids" and "I wish I were nicer to my spouse."
• Inspiration vs. Envy -- Morgan credits James Clear as inspiration for "The Psychology of Money" and describes him as incredibly successful yet humble and kind. This creates pure inspiration without envy, unlike other successful writers whose personalities trigger competitive feelings.