668. How I Got Clean from Heroin and Found God (Jody Rodriguez)

0:00Hey there, I'm Sean Fittingan and you are listening to Restatudio, a podcast that seeks to recover authentic Christianity and live it out today. What do you do when you've tried to quit something over and over and still can't get free? My guest today is Jody Rodriguez, who fell into a life of regular substance use from her teenage years onward. By the time she was nearing 30, she had been to jail and rehab but still couldn't shake her addictions. Then, after a second failed drug test, she hit rock bottom and said to herself, if I don't change my life, I'm going to die or go to prison. She needed to take drastic measures to get the freedom she desperately wanted. She couldn't keep doing the same thing expecting different results. Moving away from home to join a rehab began a sequence of events that changed everything. She got clean but even beyond that, she found God.

1:02Here now is episode 668, How I Got Clean from Heroin and Found God with Jody Rodriguez. Welcome to the podcast Jody. Thank you Sean, thank you for having me. Jody is a member of my church in Latham, New York, living hope community church and has been for some time. We are talking about your story today. Let's just jump right in. What was it like for you growing up? My dad was an alcoholic. My mother worked a lot. During that time, my mom was working at night and my dad was home and he was always drunk. We had to take care of ourselves most of the time. I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I only remember a couple of pieces that fit some pieces of it. I learned that probably is a good thing that I don't remember.

2:05A lot of my childhood, just ways of protection and just kind of like just getting through it. Let me ask you this. How did you know your dad was drunk? Were you watching him drink or did he act weird? When you're a kid, obviously you don't really understand a lot of things that are going on. Yeah, I mean, you know, David would come home and we would all walk on eggshells to see to check the temperature of his house. So he was explosive. Yeah, yeah. We had to check the temperature of his attitude, his behavior. Sometimes he was drunk and happy and sometimes he was drunk and mean and nasty. So we never knew what we were going to get when he got home. Sounds really hard. So what happened next in your story?

3:07You obviously would in that environment be looking for some sort of escape, right? Yes. Yeah, I mean, I remember, I was about 13. There was lots of alcohol at the house. And I remember like drinking from the, we had like a bar. I remember drinking a couple of like shots and stuff. And I remember liking it then. But I, you know, obviously it was like hidden. You know, I had two younger older brother, a younger brother. So it was us. And we got into like, we ended up stealing my mom's cigarettes. And she caught us and she made a whole, a small pack of Virginia's lament all. And I was like, I was like, I'm not going to be stealing that we never smoke again. Which I'm grateful because I didn't take that habit on.

4:09My brother is both of my brothers, a smoke. But I definitely have smoked in my life as like a social smoker, I guess, if you're drinking you smoke. But so moving along. Just growing up, you know, a couple of things I remember is like going to school. My mom was driving me. And we went around the corner and I fell out of the car and old. And like, you know, stuffed my knees and my stockings. I had this little cute little pink dress on. And then like I was crying acerically and my mom still took me to school. So like I was like, you fell out of the car. Is that what you just said? Yeah, I fell out of the car. I didn't want to fall out of the car. You didn't have doors in your car. Yeah, it was like one of those, it was like, I don't even know what kind of car it was. Like one of the green, big car with a big heavy doors. And I was late for school and she was driving me and the door just flew open and I just rolled out. Oh. Yeah.

5:09So and then she still took me to school. But yeah. I guess I didn't remember too much of my childhood childhood. But my dad was definitely a drinker. Lots of barbecues and alcohol was always present. Talk about your area where you grew up. Like was it very rural or urban or suburban? Yeah, we grew up in a town called Florida, New York. And they grew onions there. So it's a small town. And onions. And onions. It's like their thing. And we grew up like a side road. There was lots of cornfields and onions and we had a great time as far as like the road a lot of bikes and their bikes and some will be all.

6:10So we were always out in nature, which is amazing. I'm so grateful that I got to grow up that way. And it was a small, small town. I graduated with 42 kids in my class and those 42 kids, you know, the same kids I went to kindergarten with. I was always such a shy person, shy kid growing up. You know, my feelings didn't matter. So I just kept quiet. And you know, getting into high school, I was, I see when I was like 13, you know, I was obviously seeking to get out of myself, seeking attention. You know, my dad wasn't around. My mom wasn't around a lot. She worked a lot. I'm sure she worked to not be around him.

7:13And, you know, I was seeking attention from men. I got into a relationship when I was 15. The man was nine years older than me. I was a black man. And I lived in a little town with no black people. So that was a very difficult thing. And you feel like people judge you for dating somebody of a different race? Oh, absolutely. They definitely did. My parents didn't really say too much. And then all of a sudden, they made a big deal about it. And I always get called names for people.

8:13I don't have to say the names. Yeah. My attention here is the age gap. So we're talking about 24-year-old with a 15-year-old. That is super weird, like inappropriate. Were you thinking, oh, this is fine? Or were you trying to be rebellious? Or what was your take on it back then? Hi. I didn't really think it was rebellious at the time. I was looking for love and attention. And this man gave it to me. I looked up to this person. I played sports in high school. And I was really, really good in soccer. So I don't even remember if my family ever came to one of my soccer games.

9:14I really don't remember. But he came to a lot of them. And I think when that started to happen, it kind of stirred up the talk of the town and then my family. And meeting him, I just, he never... I just felt like he was trying to look out for me, right? And I thought, because that's what, I guess, my father was supposed to be doing. So how did that relationship progress? Well, as time went on, he never was into drinking or drugs or anything like that. And he started hanging out with the wrong people. And after a little while, he started to drink and started to smoke. And then introduced me to some substances.

10:16And it just wasn't... It didn't turn out well. Let's just say that. I really enjoyed it because it helped me to escape. I thought he was protecting me. I thought I was safe. And, you know... So, as that... Well, could I... Would it be okay to say what the substances were? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I got into using cocaine and did that for a while. And then he started using heroin. And then soda dye. Okay. So, what we would call it today a hard drug, as opposed to just... Were you using marijuana too back then? Yeah. I was using marijuana in alcohol for, you know, throughout my teens.

11:19And then, I think it looked like me too. So marijuana in alcohol were kind of just like normal. This was elevating it to a higher level for you. Absolutely. So, as you were using these substances, you were enjoying it in the sense that it was giving you an escape from reality. Is that true? Or how did you... Yes. Yeah. So, what happened next? You know, as time went on, I was... I managed to graduate high school. The only thing that got me through high school was playing soccer. I had to pass my classes in order to play in the soccer team. And soccer meant the world to me. I loved soccer. I was able to, for me, to disconnect as well. And so, I graduated high school.

12:22Shortly after that, I went to the community college. And so, I had dabbled with cocaine and, you know, heroin, but it never became like a regular thing, I guess, yet, until, like, after high school. And after high school is when it became a regular thing. And, you know, using heroin is something that you need to use every day. So, I was using heroin. I dropped out of school. During this time, I always had a job, but obviously, I lost a lot of my jobs because I wouldn't show up for work, or I'd show up, and I was hungover. He had gotten arrested, and he went to jail. And so, when that happened, I stopped using heroin. I still used, like, alcohol and alcohol.

13:22I was able to get off it. It's supposed to be, like, really hard to deal with the withdrawal symptoms for heroin, right? Yes. I did go to a detox. Okay. I did go to a detox. Was that like, when we program or a month or... It was actually one day. I just, yeah. My mom took me, and I did not like what I saw, and I said that I wasn't a drug addict. This was not for me. I wasn't into it heavily then, but I still had an addiction problem. But I was able to win myself off of it, because I kept doing other drugs, like, I kept drinking, and so that kind of helped to take the edge off. I see. So, your boyfriend was in jail during this time. And how long was that? I think he was in there maybe, I don't know, like, a year or two maybe.

14:24Okay. And then what happened next? I don't really remember. I'm trying to think. So that was... Yeah. Okay. So maybe he was in there longer. He was in there longer. I'm sorry, because he went to jail, and then he went to prison. And so in that time that he was a gun, you know, we stayed together for a little bit, and then we weren't together. And in that time, you know, I hung out with friends that, you know, we drank, we went to the bar. It was just what we did. We always were getting high and drinking, like, smoking marijuana, drinking, doing cocaine, but not heroin. So he got out, and then within a couple months, I was using heroin again with him.

15:27And we had gone... I was in the car with him, and going to buy heroin and we got arrested. And we both went to jail. And a week later, we got out. And then that was in New Jersey. And then a week later, we were in the car again, and he was going to get it, and we got arrested again in New York. So, and then we was in jail for a week in New York, and got out, or I stayed in there. Now, he had a prior record. He had a prior record, so he had said that if I took the charges for him in New York, that he would take the charges for me in New Jersey.

16:28And so I said, okay. And he got out, and I stayed in jail. And they had offered me six months and five years felony probation. So I would do my little six, I wouldn't say little, but I would do six months in jail, and get out and do five years felony probation. Now, during that time, I was sitting in jail. I remember saying to myself, you know, what's going to be different when I get out. You know, I could do my six months and get out. But what's going to be different? And then when I get out, like I wasn't even, I didn't even go in front of the court in New Jersey. So I'm sure Jersey would be there to pick me back up to face those charges. Because at that point, I didn't really know what was going on because he got out and I think we talked a couple times.

17:32And then that was it. I didn't hear from him. So I remember this guy, his name is Joe Hodges. He's from the Orange County Task Program in Goshen, New York. And he came to see me. He'll offered me to go to rehab. And when going to rehab, I got both of my cases. Because now I have two cases, not just one. Both of my cases run together concurrently. So I went and I was in rehab for a year. Okay. So did you do six months in jail or no? I did three months in jail. So you did three months in a year. Yes. Okay.

18:32And what was that three months like while you were in jail? Was it scary or was it boring or what was it like? Definitely not for me. I don't recommend one out of five stars. No, no, no. It's definitely not for me. Definitely not some place I ever want to go back to. You know, I had a lot of time to sit with myself and to think and to pray. And you know, here I am. The first time sober probably since I don't even know how old I was completely sober. I'm there in the jail and you know, I'm reflecting on everything. I just the fact of like, you know, how much I trusted this man.

19:32And he said he was going to be there for me. And he betrayed you. And he betrayed me. At the point at that time, like I didn't I didn't understand that, you know, I understand now that, you know, when there's drugs involved in alcohol, like the disease doesn't care about anything. It doesn't care about your family. Doesn't care about your kids. You know, you will lie to do anything. You will hurt the ones you love for it. You will lose your life for it. And you don't have control once you use drugs. So I get that now, but at the time I didn't. But I was scared. I was really scared. I had no idea of, you know, going to rehab, what that was going to look like. What was it like? It was very different. So this was like in 2004.

20:33So it was a therapeutic community. They didn't talk about the 12 steps on the robbery there. A lot. It was more their focus on attitudes and behaviors. There was a lot of getting up in front of 200 people and talking. I remember my first week there. This woman started me up in front of everybody and asked me what respect meant to me. And I had no idea to say. I sat down. I was very shy. I made a couple of friends. But I didn't talk a lot at all. They make you do like a job there. So you have a job function during the day. You're in groups all day. They do everything on the community, on community sites. You don't really go out of the place you're at.

21:37You kind of stay secluded. But one of the things that rings out of. Well, I was going to say I was going to ask. So would you say you had a good experience there? Or it was terrible? Or like I'm not really getting a sense of how it was for you. Like I get that it was terrifying when they put you in front of everyone. But like as time went on, was it good or was it not good? You know, I mean, it wasn't bad, right? Like I was in jail. So that was bad, right? So I was just grateful to be at a place and be able to be. Not locked behind bars, you know? Yeah. So I was grateful for the opportunity to even be at a place. Because I could have just stayed there. So I really just tried to do it and brace that. You know, just learning to be around people and live sober.

22:38I didn't know how to do that. So everything was scary, but I just kept taking the suggestions that they gave us. Okay. So what happened next? What I graduated there. You know, one thing that it took away from there is that a closed mouth doesn't get fed. You know, I remember people sharing about their stories and their pain. And I was so shy and so scared to even open my mouth that I'd never shared anything. And of course, I shared with like the couple of girls that I met there, but not in the group setting, not so much with the counselors. I didn't really understand the power of getting on as a sharing where you're exactly where you're at. I graduated there.

23:38I left there. My dad was sick with cancer. So I actually went home after that. And. That was very different to be back home because I had left my parents house when I was like 17. And. Did you get started back into the old lifestyle when you went home or were you. I stayed clean for a little bit, but then you know, little by little, you know, hanging out with certain people and. And then I just getting back into the routine. Well, not the routine, but just the lifestyle I got. Yeah, the atmosphere. And people places and things is a huge thing. And plus, you know, being around my family, you know, wasn't healthy at all. I didn't have any coping, coping skills, you know, the one thing I, one of the things I didn't learn there was how to cope. How to get through day to day life without, you know, using or causing home to myself or causing home to other people.

24:43And I didn't, I didn't learn that there. So what happened next? Well, it was just a very different time, you know, since my dad was sick with cancer. He was sober. He had a stem cell transplant. So there was a lot going on there. And I was just trying to be there for my parents and either at the house for them. My, I feel like my father had a, like awakening because he stopped drinking. Obviously, he was going to die if he didn't. And he became this like brand new man. Well. So, and I got to be there and we got to have a relationship.

25:47So for 10 years, so for 10 years at, so from, so I got to have a relationship with 10, for 10 years. So I got to know this man in a whole different light than I, than I did growing up. Well, that's really awesome that you had that opportunity. Yeah. It was great. It was, I mean, it was amazing. I'm not sure if my brothers or sisters really see it in that kind of a light, but I do. I know when I started to drink again here and there, he would, he would see it. And I'm sure that he could see himself and me and he would be like, you know, don't drink too much or, you know, be careful kind of thing. But, um, so, um, yeah. Okay. So, um, as you were staying at home, how long were you there for?

26:52You said 10 years, I guess, right? Yes. Um, just working a job, living your life. Yes. Working. I'm trying to think like working. And yeah. Just finding jobs. You know, I wait, I wait just a lot. I did bartending. And, you know, I still didn't take care of my problem. I still didn't take care of my, my mind. You know, so I still was using, but I was, you know, drinking and doing cocaine here and there and smoking marijuana. Um, but I, I never used heroin again, you know, um, but I got into another relationship and, um, and it just took me down the wrong path again.

28:00Oh, really? So what, what happened here? It's always over a relationship. You know, it, you know, it really is. Um, yeah. We started using together cocaine and, um, so now, so here, I, I'm on five years probation from when I got out of rehab. So I'm still on probation and I'm using. And so I'm going to, um, outpatient, I'm going to probation and, you know, UK urine test, your urine tested there. So three years into my probation, I, um, got a dirty urine and she sent me to a 30 day rehab. Now, I went into rehab when I got there saying that I was, um, an alcoholic.

29:02Um, I'm sorry. I said, I went in there saying I was a drug addict. And when I got out, um, I, like, gave my permission, I gave myself permission to drink because I was like, oh, well, I'm not an alcoholic. I'm just a drug addict. Uh, and I drank that night. And as soon as I drank, um, you know, I wanted something else. Like it was never just good enough. You, like, just could not escape this. I mean, this is years and years of your life. I mean, we're talking about your, you're in your 30s now. Right? Yes. So, you know, you started picking these habits up in your teens in your 20s. You had this huge scare where you went to jail and then you went to rehab for a year. Um, and then just like over time, the habits came back and even after you got busted and you had this 30 day rehab,

30:10as soon as you got out, you were back to it. Yeah. Like what level of frustration did you have with yourself at this point? Um, you know, I think when you're in, when you're in it, like you don't really see it. Um, right after that, I got another dirty earring and she sent me to all of me. Um, she said, you're doing a long term program. And that's where that's what it really hit me. And so just for people not familiar with the area, that's like, is that a two hour drive from Florida, New York to Albany, New York? Yes. Yes. Yes. So it'll get you out of your social circles and, you know, seeing that, like you said before, people places and things that would trigger you to, uh, to party or to use.

31:10Uh, when you went into the program at Albany, what was your attitude like? Um, I just want to jump back real quick because I feel like this is really important. But when she told me I was going away, um, I was so upset. I, um, I was beyond upset. I literally remember crying, crying. I laid in bed for a whole week. I cried. Um, I didn't eat. I was so upset that I'm back in this position again, where my life is. But after that week, um, I got up and I packed my stuff. And, um, I was like, I have to do this because if I don't do this, if I don't change my life, I'm going to die or I'm going to go to prison. So I really just surrendered, finally surrendered that like my way, like I need a lot of help,

32:16like I need a lot of help. And I wasn't, I just stopped then to try to keep doing it on my own because it wasn't working. And so I got to Albany. And, um, I was beyond grateful for the opportunity that they gave me. Um, you know, just to be able to be in a facility, to be able to go outside, just, just all like, you know, the time and the energy that they put it into meeting with me and just, just caring for me. Um, every group that I went to, I talked, I over talked, um, so you were a change from your previous experience where you were just so shy. Yes. Is that because you were just more motivated to, to, to really get the, the transformation you needed or like what, why were you talking now?

33:17Well, I remember, I remember, if a clothes mouth doesn't get fed, if I keep my mouth closed, I'm, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna get the help I need. I need to like really, you know, like I don't know anybody, you know, and I, and I needed to trust someone and put, I didn't know how to, to live my life and to make healthy decisions. And I really needed someone to guide me. So I put the trust in the, the women at the program to help me. Okay. Yeah. How long was that program for? Uh, nine months. Okay. So you get to the end of the nine months. So that, so during the nine months, um, you know, my, I was gonna do the nine months and go home. Um, and that's what I was gonna do. Um, and so I went in April and I got out, I don't know, maybe January or something, I don't know, but in, in October,

34:20my, um, so the whole plan of me going to Albany, I was still with the boyfriend. Um, the plan was between us that we were gonna get clean and, um, um, stay clean. And when I got out, we were gonna be together and have a life. That was the plan. Um, so he was there for me the whole time, but then come October. My, um, cousin passed away. He died in Afghanistan and I went home for the funeral. Okay. And at the funeral, um, let's just say he made, um, a bad decision. Um, and made me realize that he was not clean and he was still using. Um, and so I came back from the funeral and I didn't share it with anybody because, you know, now, now my whole plan is messed up, you know,

35:22planning to go back home there and have this life with him. But now it's, I can't because I'm the one who's gonna continue to have consequences. You know, everything of my actions, I keep having consequences, but other people that, you know, I was with, they don't, or they have, they must have their own consequences. But anyways, um, so finally, um, the woman knew something was wrong and I, and I got on us and I shared with them what happened. And I had to leave this man. I had to end things and leave this man. And, um, is one of the hardest things, one of the hardest things then that I ever had to do. But I did it and I took time and the woman cared for me and supported me. And so when I got done in January, I stayed. I, I went to the supportive living program and, you know, at this,

36:22like I didn't know where I was, the supportive living program was like three to six months. I could, you could say longer too, but at this point, I have no idea where I'm gonna live. I had, well, obviously I had a place to live, but I didn't know where I was gonna work. I didn't have any money. I didn't have anything. I mean, I, I just had my recovery and the woman that I met at the program. And I remember saying, when I was in program, I remember saying to the women that were there on a volunteer. They were voluntary there because of their addiction. I remember saying, wow, like that's so powerful that you actually put yourself in rehab to get your life together, because that wasn't me. That wasn't my story. And, um, I remember after I graduated, I stayed in Albany. And I remember I got up every day.

37:22And I just did the next right thing. I went to recovery meetings. I went to outpatient. I did the next right thing. And, you know, there's always two roads, you know, like I, I know what that road looks like going back home and everything that was there. Like, let me try to go right instead of left this time and see what happens. Like, yes, it's scary. Yes. Like I have no idea what's going to happen. But like, you know, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. You know, and I said to myself, if, if I, if I can't do it, I'll go back. But let me see what I can do. And I stayed. And I've been here 16 years now. It's a long time. So, um, you are in Albany, which is, yeah, the Florida is kind of like the big city.

38:22Yeah. Yeah. Um, not compared to New York City, but compared to the city. Yes. It's the big city. And so tell us about where God was throughout this whole process, because you did mention praying before, but, you know, like, did you have much of a belief in God? Or what was that all about for you? Um, I definitely had a belief in God, but I didn't really understand it. To understand it. I had a strong faith, I guess, and hope that, um, I was where I was at for a reason. I believe that everything, my whole, my whole journey to come into Albany was like the most beautiful gift I've ever gotten.

39:24Um, and, you know, God was with me the whole time, you know, even, you know, even through like the darkest times. Um, you know, of course, you know, I was like, oh, you know, when something really bad happened, like God, please get me out of this, you know, but that's as far as it went like when I was using, um, but really when I started to really start, um, like paying attention and, um, feeling God with me is when I came to Albany. When I, when I laid in bed for the whole week, and I just was sick to my stomach with myself, and when I finally surrendered. Um, that's when I felt God the most and started to, um, start changing me. So in all these programs, were they talking about a higher power and God and stuff like that? Or no?

40:28Yes, yes. Okay. They start talking about higher power and God and, um, you know, they start, they tell you you can make your higher power, whatever you want it to be, you know, people or the chair and the room. I never, I just always believe that the higher power was God. So tell us about the car incident. I want to get to that. Get us to that car with the broken radio. Yes, the car. Um, so in the support of living program, I graduate from that. Um, so now I stayed the program. I stayed there for 10 months in that program. And, um, I, uh, I was able to find a grant that would pay for me to go to school.

41:28Um, so I learned a trade. I learned how to do a flow of bottoming, drawing blood. Um, so I was able to get a job and I was able to get housing. And I got housing. I got the job and, um, then, um, I was looking for a car. Um, so I found this Honda Civic, um, car that worked great. It was cheap. Um, but the radio didn't work. They had two stations. One was static. And the other one was Caleb. Uh, never heard Caleb before in my life. Um, but it's what I listened to. Uh, started to listen to. That's when I feel like I was speaking to me. You know, so that's all I started to listen to. And, you know, even in my apartment, I would listen to Caleb. I started to listen to other music and it was just hard. Um, and, uh, eventually after that, I started going to church with some of the people in program in recovery.

42:37So let's listen to that Christian music. Really got your, uh, really connected with you and resonated with you. And you wanted to listen to it more and more. And then you said, you know what? I should go to church. Is that how it's how it went? Or is somebody invited to come or what? Someone invited me to go. Yeah. Someone invited me to come. So you were kind of like primed because of, you know, so much exposure to that music. And then, you know, here's a place where that music comes from. That's what we sing in church. You know, not all of it, but a lot of that stuff. Uh, so, um, what was your experience like in church? Um, it was great. I, you know, I really connected with the music. Right? I have, we, we know. Um, but following the teaching was really hard for me. I didn't understand it. So, you know, I found myself like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't say this, but like falling asleep.

43:39But I really connected with the music and just like, um, but it was really hard to connect with the teaching. I did a couple like small groups here and there. But still, um, not all the way, you know, like a head one foot in and one foot out. Um, I did work a lot. I was working a lot. So it wasn't like I was going to church every weekend. I had met a sister that I saw at church. And, um, I saw her a couple of years ago after that. And she had told me about this other church. Um, and it was smaller and more intimate. And that's when she told me about living hope. Okay. And so what was your experience like at living hope? Not that I'm biased, but. Yeah. Um, it was amazing. Um, you know, just from the moment I walked in, um, I just could feel love.

44:47Like the warmth and, um, you know, there are people that that hello to me and came up to me and asked me who I was. Like I felt noticed. Um, and I was able to connect with the teaching. Um, and the worship was good too. Um, you know, I wanted to go back and, and I've been back every weekend. You know, I didn't get that at the other church. The other church was a lot bigger. Uh, I felt like you could hide in that church. No one ever really cared to like say hello or come up to me and ask me who I was. Where I was from. So you felt seen. I felt seen. Yes. Yeah. Um, so as you're kind of like getting used to coming to church on a regular basis, learning about God, connecting through the music.

45:47What was really next for you as far as your development? Like did you, did you? Did you start to feel like you were part of a community? Yes. Yes. Yes. Um, I wouldn't even see a community. I just would say like more like a family family. Yes. Okay. Yeah. And that, and that was what was broken in your childhood was the, the family, you know, where you were, right. You were, uh, insecure in your attachment. Yes. And you were hiding or, or escaping or leaving. Right. So, um,

46:48tell us about, um, tell us about your desire to find a husband. Tell us that story. So, you know, I've been in Albany for 16 years now, right? And, um, I've been in recovery, um, and I work in recovery. I help people. Um, I coach people. I share what worked for me, I share what I learned. And, um, you know, a lot of work, a lot of work has been done and still needs to be done, you know. It's a recovery is a lifelong process. And, um, the things, you know, I always had a place to live. Um, I always had a good job. Um, that's because I gave it to God. Like, I let God do the work, not do the work, but let God guide me, I guess.

47:54I'm sorry. But my finances and my relationships were horrible. I'm sorry to say that, but, um, you know, I always heard like you have a bad picker or a broken picker. And I hated it. I hated that. And you pick bad guys or guys that are good for you. Yes. Yes. Right. But like, how would I know? You know, like, you know, I mean, the 12 steps of recovery and doing therapy really has helped to like shape, you know, what I'm actually looking for and what I deserve and what I want. But I still didn't know because I didn't do the work just because we get sober or clean, whatever you want to identify with doesn't mean that we're good. You know, there's still a lot of work to uncover. Um, so, you know, after, you know, picking, um, not the right relationship over and over and over. And over and over again. Um, I didn't do the work on myself. So I started to do the work on myself. Um, and I started.

49:11I heard that you have to make God your first love. And I, and I had no idea what that meant. I had no idea what that meant. How am I supposed to make God my first love, you know, like sometimes I think like seeing, seeing and believing and just, you know, I, yes, I have lots of faith and hope and, um, he's carried me this far. And, but like, how do you make him your first love? Um, you know, I've had the broken father for the longest for my whole life. But that was my earthly father. Um, so, um, I remade single and I was like, I'm not going to be a single. And, uh, I started to love God, love God more than wanting, you know, to be married wanting that relationship.

50:21Um, I always thought like, what's wrong with me? You know, I'm 40, something years old and I still have, I don't have children. I don't have a husband. What's wrong with me? Why, why don't I get this, you know, and God kept saying not yet, not yet. It wasn't the time. I need to grow. I needed to heal. I need to learn to love myself. And, um, so going to church, um, I saw someone there that I was attracted to. Um, but I stayed really, really far away from him because, uh, because you have a broken picker. No, I don't anymore. Um, no, because I'm there for God. You're there for God. Right. Yeah. I mean, you had so many struggles from previous relationships where they kind of led you astray into toxic behaviors and, um, a lot of drug use and stuff.

51:30And so now you're saying, you know what, guys, my first love, um, I don't want to jump into this. Yeah. Yeah, I had to wait, you know, I still had to wait, even though I had an attraction to him and I would see him, I just stayed away. And I finally surrendered to like God, if this is for me, then it'll happen. And I just kind of like left it there, you know, um, because God has gotten me out, gotten me through so many different trials of my life, you know, and I just have to be patient. I need to stop trying to put, you know, fix, manage and control and think that this is for me. God knows what's for me. And yeah. And at some point, he noticed you. Yes. Yes, he did notice me.

52:30And yeah, I think that God was preparing our hearts for us to be together. I think, you know, because it was like two years that I had noticed him and let's say had eyes for him. But it wasn't the time, you know, I really wasn't the time and I just was patient and I let go of the outcome. You know, if it's for me, it'll, it'll happen. But if it's not, then I don't want it, you know, if it's not from God, I don't want it. Okay. So he started to notice you and came by and said, hey, I'd like to talk to you and find out what your deal is. What's your situation?

53:31Which is situation. Yes. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, we went to family camp and we ended up, he asked me to play archery. We went and played archery and, you know, just laughing and talking and getting to know each other. And that was like in the summer and then we didn't actually start talking until like December. So there was that whole time where, you know, it could happen then, but it just wasn't the time. But come December, it was our Christmas party at church and he wanted to talk with me and we talked after and we just said, you know, what we were looking for. And let's try to see where this goes. Yeah. And now we're married and we'll be celebrating our year anniversary married in September.

54:37I love how you guys decided to do the shortest engagement period ever. What was that all about? Tell us that story. Well, Sean, it wasn't mine. Okay, because he's the van. So we had talked about things and we had a trip plan to Dominican Republic. So we had that trip plan. So I was assuming that that's where he was going to ask me. And we were going to get engaged, you know. And then at church, he had all the kids come out with t-shirts on them that spelled out. Jodie, will you be the, will you be, will you make me the happiest man and be my wife? It was like a paragraph of text written on all the kids shirts, one letter each.

55:41It was so beautiful and so thoughtful and it was so it was it was it was the best because you know, that's where we met. That's where it all started and like we got to celebrate with everybody there too. Yeah. Because everybody, some people, well, not I guess everybody could see us together, but it wasn't the time, you know. And then I had said, hey, well, I thought we were going to get engaged in Dominican Republic and he goes, no, we're going to get married. And I was like, oh, okay. All right. So we're going to get married. And it was three weeks later. We got married. Yeah. So engage and then marry within three weeks. Yeah. And then the other country get it done, come home. Hey, we're married now. Yeah. I love that because it's just so typical for people to spend a fortune and go into debt and do these elaborate weddings where you have to rent this and hire that.

56:48And that's like so the American standard, but your husband is from the Dominican Republic. He has different cultural expectations and different norms. And I don't know, I just think it's really cool, a really cool way to do it. So what would you say looking back and then we should also mention that he had two children already that are now, you know, kind of fulfilling your desire of having children, right? Yes. So like you went to like instant family. Yes. Yes. You were single and you had a husband and two kids. So what else would you say about your journey and specifically about your faith and how like God brought you through? You know, I truly believe that I hate saying things happen for a reason or I hate, I don't really like saying that, but I do believe that life happens and we're in situations that we meet people and really try to embrace.

58:15And try to learn why you are where you're at and try to embrace everything. I came to living home because I talked to the sister and she just mentioned to come there and I came. And so I would come to living home, but I didn't know a lot of people and the sister ended up getting pregnant. So I ended up, I offered to throw her a baby shower, which I had no idea what I was doing because I never did it before, but I was like, we'll do it. We'll figure this out. And Mr. Ruth, your wife, she and I did it together and we grew close. And it was a beautiful, beautiful experience and I'm so grateful during the time I was really, really, really stressed.

59:20But looking back, it was exactly what God had intended it to be because right after that is when I started coming to the fellowship on Wednesday nights at your house. And I'm not sure if I would have came that soon if I didn't meet your wife and connect with her on that level. Really just trying to put yourself out there, even if you're scared, even if you don't know anybody, we grow. What I've learned is like I grow when I'm not comfortable. Now what I'm doing the things that I'm fearful of, you know, if I continue to just continue to do the same things, that's what I'm going to get. So I have to really continue to push myself and just put myself out there to grow. And, you know, I've learned so much and just being a part of living hope and being a part of the family.

1:00:29And my walk with God has, you know, sometimes I, you know, life is so busy, but when I'm so when I slow down and I'm like and so in awe of God and what he continues to do in my life. Because like the impossible was to marry a Donas. I wasn't even thinking that I just like I just wanted to date him. I just wanted to date. I just wanted him to notice me. And here I am married with two kids and an amazing relationship and married. Yeah, and you have freedom from drugs and substances and booze and, you know, these old behaviors. I mean, it's incredible if we contrast where you were in your teens and your 20s and even in your 30s to where you are now.

1:01:31So I'm going to say, how is it possible that you could be the same person? Right? Because you went from, you know, just being stuck in this negative cycle of use it using these substances and chasing these, these men who did not treat you well did not lead you to God did not lead you in a, you know, committed relationship, you know, like marriage to being in a place where you are. Now you recognize your identity as a child of God as somebody who believes in, you know, the son of God and that, you know, he died for your sins and he's coming back all this. And now part of a family of God, but also having your own. It's just such a stark contrast between the two. But how it happened was like you said earlier, you just took the next step, you did the next right thing and you remained open to change over time.

1:02:40You know what I mean? Because like your story is not like boom one day you totally changed and everything was different. It was just like a lot of like turns and then like you turns and come back try another way right. And there's a lot of I think persistence, but a lot of openness to say, okay, well, let's try, let's try this. Let's see how this goes. What would you say to somebody who is where you were before? Like you work now with a lot of people who were or who are struggling with addiction. Like what do you say to them when they feel frustrated? Like I can't get out of this. I can't get this monkey off my back. You know, I really just try to stay in the present moment. With them, you know, I've learned to just try to keep myself where my feet are right now.

1:03:47You know, we try to want to change everything in our life and just like a second and that's just not possible. So I really try to bring them back to like just right here right now and what can we do right here right now. You know, I always share with them what you know worked for me and getting them connected in the recovery community, getting connected to our patient and building a support network. You know, learning to be able to pick up the phone when you're having a rough time if you want to, you know, hurt yourself if you want to use if, you know, you have negative thoughts and picking up and pulling someone and telling someone. And that really learning to pause and not act on a feeling or an emotion. You know, just because we want to do something right now doesn't mean that we have to, you know, like an early recovery, you know, I had thoughts of, you know, drinking and what I was taught is like just tell myself not today tomorrow. And by tomorrow, the thought would be gone.

1:05:04So it's just it's just about rewiring our brains differently. So just because I have, you know, the uses of drugs and alcohol is just a symptom, a symptom of the disease. I hate to call it a disease, but you know, that's what it is. So it's our thinking. So I have to learn how to I had to change my thinking how I process things. And it's a daily thing. I mean, I'm still doing it. I have to learn, you know, how to talk positively to myself instead of negative. A lot of people are surrounded by people places and things and it's chaotic. So just like the only thing I knew how to do was like escape and use and, you know, if I didn't get myself out of there, well, if God didn't get me out of there, I probably would still be there. So I really just connect people to recovery programs. I try to be an encourager. I help them to, I give hope to them. You know, I share a little bit about my my story and where I'm at now.

1:06:16And it gives people hope because I mean, I don't look like I used to. My story doesn't look like I used to or did what I did. And you know, and the thing too is like, I'm alive. You know, a lot of people are not alive. A lot of people didn't make it. And I got an amazing, I mean, beyond an amazing gift. Yeah, I really just encourage them and just share what worked for me and just kind of stay in contact with them. You know, people need a hand to, you know, go through, go through the stuff with them. Yeah. All right. Well, hey, thanks so much for talking with me today. I appreciate your time. Yes. Thank you so much, Sean. I appreciate it. Well, that brings this interview to a close. What did you think? Come on over to restatudio.org. That's like the word restitution with no in restatudio.org.

1:07:19Find episodes 668 how I got clean from heroin and found God with Jody Rodriguez and leave your comments, questions and feedback there. Now this rounds out a three part series of life transformations with stories from Jeremy Martin, Mina Hacker and Jody Rodriguez. In each case, we see how God brought someone out of their difficulty out of their suffering and into his light and into healing. And this God, I believe, is still at work today. These are modern stories. These are not ancient stories. And I believe that they can encourage you to reach out to somebody in need. Now, if this episode about drug use and these kind of toxic romantic relationships that Jody had, really, you think would be helpful for someone to hear, please share this episode with them so that others can hear of what can happen if you take the right steps to get free.

1:08:23And speaking for Jody, I'm sure that this is really her heart as well is to help people with her story. And I think that came through in the interview. And if you would like to meet Jody or Mina, may I encourage you to sign up for our Kingdom Fest. We're having a weekend event at our church here in Latham, New York called Kingdom Fest. We have it each year. It's our big end of the summer beginning of the fall. Festival where we rent out a huge tent for where we can do food in one of our parking lots. And we really seek to pack out the house with people locally, but also who are visiting from afar. And in fact, Jeremy Martin came last year to Kingdom Fest. And that's how I heard his story. I don't know that he has any plans to come back this year. So if he does, then you could meet the trifecta all three. But if you are interested, the event runs Friday through Sunday September 18th to the 20th.

1:09:28It starts in the evening Friday runs all day Saturday and then concludes Sunday with lunch. It's an event that includes preaching, really incredible worship music and some opportunities for service on Saturday. We do an afternoon service project. So if you are interested in coming to Kingdom Fest, meeting some of these folks, meeting me, then why not sign up? Why not come over to the registration, which is up on LHIM.org. That stands for Living Hope International Ministries LHIM.org. Come over there and you'll see on the homepage that under featured events, it says, love never fails. That's going to be the theme for the weekend. So I hope some of you will come and I look forward to meeting you at this event. Food is optional. There's a meal plan that you can get. Otherwise, the cost is incredibly low. I think it's 20, yeah, 20 bucks for adults and children under 18 years old are free. Then if you want to get a meal plan, it's 45 bucks per person if you want the meal plan. But that's obviously like I said, optional.

1:10:38So hope to see some of you there. Well, that's going to be it for this week coming up next week. We have an episode with Sam Tiedemann. Should Christians use artificial intelligence or maybe I'll call it how should Christians use AI? Because I think most of us are using it. The question is, is it using us too? If so, how and is that good or bad? And as it turns out, Sam Tiedemann is a Google employee and somebody who has a lot of knowledge about artificial intelligence. So stay tuned for that next week. If you'd like to support the show, you can do that at restatudio.org. Thanks everyone for tuning in and remember the truth has nothing to fear.