678: The Power of Unlearning Silence, with Elaine Lin Hering

Elaine Lin Hering: Unlearning Silence

Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and writer who helps people build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She is a former Managing Partner of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, specializing in dispute resolution, mediation, and negotiation. She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully.

Those of us who have struggled to speak up have been told, “Just be more confident,” or, “Say this to get started.” As Elaine and I discuss in this conversation, there’s a larger context at play…and great power for both leaders and the people they lead, in unlearning silence.

Key Points

• Start with why. For change to actually happen, find something that matters more than the old behavior.
• What seems obvious to us isn’t always obvious to others. Connecting the dots for others demonstrates the meaning you’re making.
• Beginning a thought with, “From where I sit…” provides an entry point for what you need to say while also acknowledging different perspectives from others.
• Most people want to be helpful, but don’t always know how. Tell them how they can be helpful in the moment.
• Resistance is part of the process of influencing others. While it doesn’t feel good in the moment, it’s often the catalyst for creating movement.

Resources Mentioned

• Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully* by Elaine Lin Hering

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

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