#679 - Luke Bryan

0:00The end of summer can be said. But luckily it means the dawn of the most exciting stretch on the sports calendar. From September 8th through the 13th Paramount Plus brings you one massive event after another. Super sports week. It all kicks off literally with three days of UEFA Champions League. As the world stars return to their clubs in soccer's biggest annual tournament. But that's just the beginning. As the weekend brings Serie A soccer and back-to-back college football featuring Mississippi State at Minnesota and Texas Tech at Oregon State. On Saturday night, Noche UFC returns with a stacked card in honor of Mexican Independence Day. Then it's the must-see championship bout between Megastar Ryan Garcia and explosive knockout artist Conor Ben. We'll see you Sunday when the NFL on CBS returns to Paramount Plus with a week one double header featuring the Packers and the Vikings. One epic week.

1:00The biggest sports in the world. Sign up for Paramount Plus today and stream all of Super Sports Week. Today's guest is an award-winning country musician. He's a host on American Idol. He's an outdoorsman. And he's funny, man. I'll say that straight up. He is he's funny, man. He's got a new album, Signs, that's out September 18th. I had a blast with today's guest, Mr. Luke Bryan. And... Shit, shit. You own the readers? Dang, Ray saw them, huh? Dude, me too. A young man? I have no other choice. Why, what does it look like? It don't look like nothing's happening.

2:00It don't look like... If I don't have them, I can't pick out which draft beer I want. I'm like the Hells, Bells. What is that? Oh, and you saw an IPA? You lost that? Yeah, yeah, I'd be in the order to want a pills and then got an IPA. Oh, damn dude. Well, they started, remember when they came out with all those out? Like the local IP, it was always like beavers ass or whatever. Like it was like, it was always like Vermont, Stepdad, like it was always so. Sitra ass down. White man can't hops. Fetal alcohol, sour. Man, my first time, you know, I never done high gravities. What do you mean like, like a fake carnival ride or whatever? High gravity beer. Oh, I never even heard of that. What is it? They make it in a French press or whatever? Well, it's like a, you know, it's a beer that is like a 12, it's 12% alcohol. I take the way the whole point of having beer.

3:02Well, yeah. Well, the first time I did it, we did a, it was a beer called Kentucky Burbin Barrel Ale. It was like a 12-point beer. And it had bourbon flavors, man. We did a, we were doing keg stands with it. And that was a beer you came out with? No, it was a beer that it just got popular. And it got popular and I called where to get a keg of it and got one at the house. Well, dude, I called a bunch of my buddies and I'm like, hey, man, the bourbon barrel, Kentucky bourbon barrel kegs here. It's about six buddies. When my wife goes to dinner with some friends, she comes back. She shouldn't have come back. Man, what were y'all doing? We were, we were just, we were gone. But we all doing us tickling each other and shed. Man, we were, we got, got, it got interesting. But just Kentucky bourbon barrel do not do keg stands with a 12-point.

4:03I, I could never hold natural light down in college. Yeah, keg stands. Well, dude, you know, Bob, Bob, Kid Rock came out with a beer for a while called Badass Beer, right? This is a story he told me this and I'm paraphrasing but it doesn't matter because it's, doesn't end well. But, uh, or maybe it does matter whatever. There it is. Badass American Logger. But apparently the second batch of it that, and the first batch it like sold out, right? The second batch they made of it like it got, it was fucked up, right? Dude, I, I had a beer that did that. But they just put it on anyway. Like, well, we already made so much of it. Just put it out there, dude. I did a beer that went sour. And it was like three in every case. So my buddies would be drinking it. They were like, man, this shit's awesome. And they call me about three hours later. They're like, hey, man, something went bad south. Then I had to call the district anyway. It was a damn nightmare, dude. I'm not putting anything else out anymore.

5:04I'm just going damn just, it's just too much. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, when you get attached to some things, have you been attached to some wild stuff over the years, probably? Attached to what do you mean? Like wild products kind of anything. Yeah, tick, talk. I was not the only thing I'm attached to. Are you addicted to that? I'd say it's closing in on that. Yeah, I saw your son on there the other night. I was, was it, I saw your boy out there throwing bombs, your boys playing quarterback? Yeah, it was, so it was past weekend, this past weekend. Oh, it was? Where was he playing at? Man, we went down to Fair Hope, Alabama. But on the coast, it's right there by Mobile Bay. By Spanish Fort, yeah. And we, so our team last year, we had a really dominant team. So we beat a lot of kids, or we beat a lot of teams by some, and my son wasn't the quarterback last year. Really great quarterback last year that went on to play college.

6:05But we had a lot of local national teams, just like, man, we're not going to play y'all. It's just, you know, so we had to go find some games. Okay, you ought to go out. So we, our coach found, talked to Phillip Rivers, and they scheduled the game. Well, they had originally scheduled on a Friday night, with an ESPN wanted to pick the game up. Because it was obviously a fun story with me and Phillip Rivers' kid. Oh, his son, his son's a great quarterback. And I already forced our recruit going to NC State. Man, they moved that game from a Friday night to 1230 noon in South Alabama. Buddy. I mean, I'm from here for that there. Dude, it was bad. It was fun, man. We, I had to go, man, I had a dad call me. We went and borrowed like these coolers from another college. I have one of my guys that works at my farm hall. All these down, misting coolers down,

7:06try to keep these boys from, so man, I turned it. I had all kind of stuff going on. Oh, yo, look, y'all had that high, you mean the high tech, the big blowers that are blowing? Yeah, they're blowing on the big ol' lime. But man, you know, my son got through it and did really well. And when you, when you think about your kid, starting his first football game, and it's on ESPN, National TV. Oh, that's heavy. Dude, I was flipping. I was losing it. Bo-brown. Oh, you must have been geek, dude. Oh, dude, y'all are lucky, man. Y'all had that high, full of that fancy, cool air. That's you. Dude, we had you be lucky. You know what I learned it did. What? Nothing. Really? When it's 107 heat index and you put hot tap water, it did nothing. Dude, I remember I played one year football, dude. And it was too hot. I think the cleats I had were real thin or something. I remember the ground was too hot for me. I remember I'd run over like if we had like a timeout, I'd have to run over and stand on one of those defensive linemen's feet. I'd stand right on his feet, dude. Oh, dude, the heat would just come right up through my shoes.

8:07I think they got me a bad pair of cleats. But I just couldn't- I played in South Georgia. I played my up, man. I learned, man, we were playing this, I was in eighth grade. I was about 120 pounds. We're playing this team, Sly County. Hmm. Where was that? Man, it was up above America's Georgia. They must be damn slither and they sound like they're on the side. Let me tell you something. Sly County. This big old black quarterback come round the corner and I put my head on his thigh bone. And the only thing I remember when I come to was the bottom of his feet running into the end zone and him hand in the ball to the riff. Oh, I heard the bell go off. Did you heard a little bit of free gospel, huh? That's that free gospel, bro. You got served up, man, bro. Dude, our field had damn lice or something in it. And they had chiggers in our field, right? And so our remember for a whole season, nothing can do about it, dude. See you. We had a field had staff all over.

9:09Oh, God. So you get a strawberry and then next thing, you know, you're what's it called, Mensa? Yeah, bro. We'd have- We'd have to wheel bear some of the players out there because their joints couldn't end or running out there and playing defense on the play, dude. Some of that shit was bad. Dude, we were itching so bad. God, we'd have to itch each other. That was the craziest part in the huddle. We wouldn't break the huddle, probably. Sometimes the play would already have started, dude. We have our hands up each other's backs and stuff in there. I bet if he was a pedophile, you stayed for the whole game just to watch all that. It was different, man. Is your- Oh, how'd your son do you say you had three touchdowns? Three touchdowns and, uh, man, and we got- We got a really- He's got a great team around him. Got really great receivers. And is it Christian school he goes to? No, it's a- It's a, you know, just a school down in Franklin called Battleground Academy. Got it. And, man, he's really won about it the right way.

10:09You know, he's a senior this year and he had to wait his turn behind a really good player and then, like I said, he's got- He's got some really good players on that. He got some dogs down here. Maximus Curry and Madditch Porter are really, really great. Maximus and Madditch, bro. And Maximus's dad was Mr. Olympia. No way. Dude, you got to see this guy. Do Brandon Curry. Look at this guy. Bring him up. God. Boom. Oh my God, brother. I wouldn't make it through half a hug from that man. God wouldn't do- I make a kiss to him about five times that game because his son had about- Do with beef prices where they're at. That dude's gonna have- Damn, bro. You got so many better keep highs on me. Yeah, yeah. It's more than Bitcoin. Yeah, bro. I can't even imagine that. I couldn't imagine having a muscle like that. God. Oh, Brandon's gonna kill me. Dude, I would not even leave the house if I had muscles like that.

11:11I'd just stay in him and be with my body. I just hope Brandon doesn't headlock me for exposing him on your show. So there we go. It's not like you exposed him bad, bro. He's laying it out there. I mean, he's definitely he's using that spray tanner for sure. I know that. But I will say that- No, he's that color. Oh, he is? Yeah, he's even- I mean, he may be a little lighter there. I can't see that. I gotta get my readers on, dude. I can't even- Yeah, you can't tell these days. Some of these guys if they- they start doing that chocolate body and you know where they tan their whole body. I would say that'd be more of the Irishman out there doing that. Yeah, it's like a ginger. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Is there any ginger bodybuilders? Oh, God. Yeah, that's going to be interesting. But yeah, Brandon Curry there. God. Leprechaun bodybuilding. I would just- If I saw that man, I would just sit on his lap and tell him what I wanted for Christmas, I feel like. Oh, this dude is from- I mean, this guy's from Game of Thrones, obviously.

12:14Oh, my God, that's wrong. Oh, that's nice, though. And a lot of ginger women are built like that too when they get in their 40s, I find them. If they do that all- Oh, you're trapping me. Theo, Theo, trap. I'm not saying anything, dude. I'm just saying a lot of- Oh, hey. That's who you're referring to. God. Yeah. God, dang, boy, she could open my pants with it. Just- she could just sneeze in my pants and damn open up. Without even- I would never choice had it. Good God. Yeah, I'm questioning the woman, the woman heard of that one. Very well. They- Yeah, I mean, they got it. Yeah, I would test some of them. I would test some of them. That's how I bet a lot of times when I play that WNBA, you know, bet. I take up the dude, this- Oh, that guy who wants to be in it or whatever? That seems so weird to me. You think he's just doing something weird? It's gotta be just doing it.

13:14Trollin'. Trollin'. Yeah. Cause dude, I don't bet a lot, but when I bet, a lot of times, I'll take a- someone who is an out- a lesbian woman, I take the toughest lesbian on the team and I do at least three rebounds. That's what I bet. Where's your percentage on that? 100? No, probably. 5860. But we're doing good. Cause some of my picker on the fence and they're kind of lying about it just to fit it in the league. That's what I think. What would you slap down on the old guy that's claiming to be a woman? So that's probably a safe bet. Oh, I think if he says he is, I want to see that gender reveal. That's what I want to see, you know? Get his parents there, get everybody in the backyard and haven't break that thing out, you know? And he's trolling on the- He's trolling on the- God, he's trolling on the- But I wonder why he's ditching seems like what's going on with him for- What he's doing at just to prove the point? Former NBA player, oh, of how ridiculous it is? Yeah. Yeah. Former NBA player, Enez, Cantor Freedom declared themselves elevated-

14:16Did he change his name to Freedom? Oh, there's another one, Royce White. Royce White declared themselves eligible for the WNBA draft in August, 2026 to protest league policies on transgender athletes. So sources say they are not eligible. So what are- Oh, they were saying if they go through with these new rules, then they're going to have to allow guys like them in? Well, what they're saying is right now the rule is what- Not listen, let's just claim that I'm- the fact that you and I are claiming to be- Yeah, we're learning as we go here, but I think they're just saying if you identify as a woman, you can play in the WNBA. I see. And he's just saying identify as a woman. Yeah, so- Dang. Well, we'll see. T-V-D, boy. But they should do that gender reveal right for the draft if he is, bro. That's all the same. Pants, yeah. Just a pants, just old school high school locker room, pants style. He's a huge guy, boy. If you probably can't even pants him, get hung up. He's a huge guy.

15:17Get caught on something. Shit, did I bet his wieners got knuckles on him? Dang, I was like, I bet he's got- Got a elbow in it. Oh, dang, I bet it. I bet his- And a periscope. I bet his wearin' it down, whoop bracelet. You know what I'm saying? I bet he- Fitbit. Yeah, dude. That's when you- God. That's when you know. Yeah, that's when you know, brother. I didn't even for me, man. Dude, do you- What are we talking about? Luke Bryant, good to see you, dude. Man, yeah. I can't wait to see the clips. We're only five minutes in. Do you think your son could beat Lane Kiffin's son? You think he could beat Knox Kiffin if they- No, I don't know. I mean, when you're talking about boys like Knox and my son, these boys are working so hard and so tuned up. It's really about the team, really. I mean, I don't know. I don't know anything about Knox. Bow and Knox met at a Nike camp in Louisiana

16:18and talk about a damn deal. You went to it? Man, I went there and it was really- It was- I didn't want to put my son in camps before he was ready. Okay. Why? Because then he's got some embarrassment. He may get out there and not feel like he can compete. So it might be too much for him to be- He's like, oh, people are so good if he's younger. Well, I just tried to manage it. And then this year, this past spring, we did a couple of them. And man, let me tell you something. We went to Atlanta and he threw well in Atlanta, but we went down to Louisiana, man. And when you see them boys getting after it in Louisiana, it's a different deal. Was it? Well, so- Was it that man in camp? No, it was a Nike. It was like a Nike Elite 11 camp hosted. So Nike Elite 11 host camps in different regions of the country. All right. So they host one in different areas and then they compile the top performers

17:21for a big camp. But what's- So think about this. I don't know all this. Like, I'm learning this as I go. I mean, they ain't- I mean- Yeah, you didn't, yeah. I didn't- You weren't that good. Exactly. No judgment, but yeah, you didn't have this opportunity- Yeah, I didn't- And it probably didn't exist then. It didn't, but you know, it's not- I hadn't really had time to meet other dads for them to walk me through it. Got it. So he- So you're brand new- So you're brand new- I'm brand new, and he's brand new to it. He is, but he knows- He's brand new to camps and he's wanting to see how he's going to compete with the other boys. He did good in Atlanta, top talent in the world. We go to New Orleans and there's like 150 quarterbacks day one. Well, not linked- Nox Kiffin's there. And day one, we can tell that Bo is throwing it. You know, you got to understand he doesn't have any stars at the time. That's the big thing too. Are you a three star, four star, five star? There were a lot of four and five stars there.

18:21And he was throwing alongside of them. Well, I don't even know- This was a Saturday. So we already had planned to fly- Go home Saturday night. Well, he comes up to me, Dad. They want me to come back and throw for the DBs and the receivers tomorrow morning. Buddy, first of all, I didn't even plan. Next thing you know, we're eating crawfish and I'm out on beer on Bourbon Street. Hey. That's right where you need to be brother. Right, Dad, we went to a name. We tore up Bourbon Street. Did you- I had no tour managers with me? No. It was just me and a buddy. And did Bo go, but you know, he can go. They let him in a piano bar briefly. Oh, yeah. But no, we went on to bed early, but we had a big time on- Y'all didn't have going to bed early. What are you talking about, little sea? Well, we got- Well, anyway, the next morning, he is- So he's a tougher competition that next day.

19:22Well, he's throwing to the receiver, to the DBs and the receivers. Okay. You know, they needed quarterbacks to showcase the receivers. And man, I was so amped up watching them boys compete. And you know, you're in the room and all of them are probably going to go off and play college ball. Yeah. They're getting evaluated. There's cameras on them and, you know, they're putting their life- I mean, this is their- That's their thing. They're putting it all out there. And so- Well, it's so severe now, you know. I mean, they start- You know, you'll see videos of seven-year-olds. They got seven-year-old kids that are miked up. Miked up. Yeah, and some kids- Well, an Instagram. Yeah, Instagram. And all he's doing is he's like, he keeps me. And like, my, I gotta go to the toilet or whatever. It's like some of these kids- It's like, go to the damn two-year-old out there. Miked up on the toilet. No, just miked up like he- He just keeps trying to leave the game and go to the restroom. Whatever that one kid they keep miking up. But it's like, yeah, they have some of them. It's like, they're miking them up so early. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just gotten lower and lower. You know, these kids are starting off so early. Well, I think it's psycho- Oh, this is him. No, I don't know. This might be him, is this him?

20:22This is just one of them. Yeah, if one of them's miked up toilet kid or whatever. That miked- I'm making my bag, bro. I mean, what are we doing? Yeah. Daveyon, boy. I'm getting miked up. I'm getting miked up. His crates, what do we do then? And I'm gonna be a person on YouTube. Oh, my god, I'm shit. It's still over. Bro! That's Diego Pavi, I think. A full grown- This shit is fucking- Full grown. That's wrong. You know him. He's gonna attack me. No, he'll be fine, man. We're joking. That's my guy. But, dude, well, the crazy thing is though, with your son going down there and playing against those guys that are the, you know, four stars, five stars, playing against guys who are- We're gonna play. When he's throwing with four, five stars and he's throwing with him, making the throws. Right. It told him and his brain, all right, well, I deserve to be here. I can do this. Right. It was a great moment for him, rather than going in there prematurely

21:23and not getting called to come back. So he left that camp. I think he got ready to three- Star- With some confidence. Started getting some college offers and stuff like that. Well, yeah, because you play in some of these like- Some of these Christian leagues and stuff like that, these smaller communities, dude. I'm just saying the Lord don't have the best defensive backs. That's all I'm saying, dude. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, sometimes you'll get players that come out of these places and it's like the guy ran for 70,000 in your heart, dude. Yeah, what was he running against? Yeah, you know, in a lot of people, I think even as Bow did well, there's still, there's a lot of eyeballs trying to discredit what he did or whatever. But, you know, he's got a whole season to put his body or work together and you can't judge any day and kid on one day and you can't judge mine and you can't. So, and, you know, Phillip River's son, unfortunately, got hurt and, you know, got hurt and so the game would have been a lot tougher game had his son- Stayed in it. Stayed in it. But it was a big, it was a big, real moment.

22:23I was happy. You know, you know, the deal, man, I've just had an amazing life and like 95% of my joy comes from watching your kids and all of them have fun now, you know. So, you know, we spoke on kids, you know, you hunting somebody to bear some children with, where are you adding that quest? Yeah, man. I'm out there. I'd like to have some children at, yeah. I mean, I got to do it. Soon. Yeah, and with a woman, you know, that helps. So, and you can't just, yeah, you gotta figure it out. But I'm, yeah, I'm headed in that direction. I'm working towards, I'm starting to like see if my actions will kind of like, you know. Do you, are you straight up asking first question? Do you want kids? Is that, is that how you lean in the end? No, no. Still a little more. I'll draw a picture of a kid off this, you know, in this slide. How about this? Slide it over. Yeah. What do you think about that? Yeah. I'm not a good artist. She'd be like, I said, it was an ugly kid.

23:24I'd say, look, you should be like, you think I'm that ugly? We ain't making that. Yeah, dude, but it'll happen, man. I start feeling, the more I start to like, just take care of myself and live in a good way, you start to feel like anything's possible, man. You know, but yeah, I would like to have some children, bro. I think like, yeah. I want to be married. I just want to be married all week, you know? That's how I feel about it sometimes. But it'll come around, dude. Can you set that up in the early, just state that in the early stages of just so people know what's up? Yeah, I mean, it's all going to be anything, be pre-nubbed. Yeah. Just pre-nubbed weekly. Right. Just Sunday evening. But sign again. Sign them. Yeah. Sign the week contract. It's like a 10-day deal, like in the, like in the NBA, you get a 10-day contract. That's not a bad idea. Home of the 10-day marriage right here. Nashville, Tennessee, dude. TLC coming to your TLC network. The 10-day marriage.

24:2440-minute marriage, dude. That's what they need now. Like a mosquito. Like a prey, like what? They're like an insect that lives for like, hatches, hatches, screws, and dyes. Oh, that's a, uh, B if they sting you day, die. Yeah, but there's like a insect that lives like five hours. Probably my old landlord that bastard. The Mayfly, it says, is an insect that spends most of its life underwater before hatching into a winged adult, reproducing and dying within 24 to 48 hours. Yeah, that ain't bad, man. Yeah, that's, that ain't bad at all. Yeah, and then probably getting eaten by a fish as it dies. That's a life, though. That's a circle of life, dude. Hopefully the big trout gets you. There it is. We used to fish Mayfly hatches on Lake Blackshire. There's a Mayfly. Catching brim. Is that what we all are catching? That's what we ate primarily. Yeah. Wild brim. No, uh, that glyphosate brim or whatever.

25:29That's six-eyed brim. Oh, Lord, dude, that's just getting wild. There's my flies right there, baby, Theo. That's you. That's what you're going to graduate to right there. You start catching fish on one of them. You think so? That means you've been hanging out with me. Yeah. I'll graduate you up to that. Well, you took me fishing over there one time. So Theo was quick, you were quick learner. You actually got complimented by my, by my fishing guy. Did I? Kate. Kate. What was that? Flint. Flint, was his name. Said you got, uh, you got some skill, some natural talent. Did he really? Yeah, but once you get, it's all about layers. Now we got to graduate you. Yeah. You're in kindergarten. Okay. And then when you start catching that stuff on a fly rod, then you'll be easing into night grade. Ooh. Where's that at? Where's the best place that you find to go fly, fly rod fishing? Probably out west. Yeah. Got west to put you in the south for good snake river. Put me in that bed.

26:29Put you on a stone fly. Let you catch your big old 21 inch cut throat trout. On a riffle. How's that sound? That sound beautiful. What's a riffle? It's like a, it's where the water just ripples over the rocks. Really? There it is. Cut throat trout. That's in your future, Theo. Shit, I'll catch it. Now see, the only way you can do that trip is you've got to get married. You've got to have three kids and then you've got to tell that wife for three kids you're going on a cut throat trout trip so she can cuss your ass out. That's the only way you can do that trip. Yeah, that's what it looks like my uncle right there. Because his jaw don't work on the bottom. That's why it's called a cut throat. See that red looks like some of my cutters throat. Yeah. Probably his wife over. Yeah. Being out there lying. Being wet out and mayfly hunting and got his throat cut. Do, Uncle Said. He had to hold the bottom of his mouth closed all the time. Dude, the bottom of his jaw didn't work until we'd always have to hold it like that.

27:31Uncle Said. He was always like that. And then he cracked it open and put something in there. Shut it back. Never got around to fixing it. Huh? He never got around to fixing it. I don't think they could fix it. Man, this wasn't the time when everything was fixable. Now you got people everything shits fixed. Able or whatever. Everybody got clean teeth or whatever. Hey, I knew, Joel. Oh, dude. Yeah. Now you could just have 3D printed them, Joel. But back then, remember they had scoliosis had all that shit? Remember that at school? Oh, you had to bend over in front of somebody uncomfortable. In a game. Yes. Some lady. She just run a marker across your back. You know, man, shit. Shit. Get arrested for that shit. That's what I did. Prize picks is America's number one sports picks app. The app is really easy to use. For player picks, just pick more or less on a few players stats and lock in your lineup. That's it. Rather, just pick teams. Prize picks has that now too.

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30:40Your keys stay on your device so you stay in control. Moon Pay already powers crypto for millions of people in over 180 countries. Check out Moon Pay Agents at moonpay.com slash agents. Crypto is risky and can be volatile. So do your own research and trade responsibly. Oh, and then did you either damn the popsicle sticks and lice? Do you ever get caught in the hall with popsicle sticks? No, but I got caught in the hall with lice. I'll tell you that shit. Dude, I had lice so bad one year. I couldn't even know my name presence at Christmas. I was at itching my head so bad. I had to open my gifts for damn feet dude. I couldn't. God. Yeah, they pull us at the principal with pulling out in the hall and go through your hair with popsicle sticks. Lice was one of the biggest problems in this country when we were kids. Oh, they did popsicle sticks for y'all? Yeah, popsicle sticks and then man, one of my kids got lice, buddy.

31:42In Nashville, we got a lice clinic. Oh, really? That's nice. Like, I'm talking about you going there. They served you cucumber water with lemon and that might be where you're going. I don't know. Garnish in our airbite. Like a Mahito for a kid. I mean, I walk in my kids. Like, I'm out there with popsicle sticks and they wash in my hair with something that like you're at a salon, huh? Yeah, well, I took my kid kept scratching his head. I ain't writing on which one it was, but it was one of the two. Yeah. Man, I said, come here, boy. What's wrong with you? I thought it was going to be like something I had to look for. Yeah. No, he, man, I pulled some hair back about three of them damn things went right running. No, I said, oh, shit, my wife's fixing to fumigate this whole house. So they call me this and go down to the down the lights clinic.

32:43Man, we go down there and does have an outdoor area as well? Like is there a little play area? No, man, I mean, it ain't, you know, I didn't never see the sauna. I didn't ever see the dry sauna or anything. You rolling there and man, they do all this stuff with like organics. Oh, damn, we didn't have that. That's what I'm saying. We had like lighter fluid. Oh, yeah. Our neighbor, I remember what they just shaved you damn head. I remember a couple of boys come to school just ball headed and still had lights. I remember they used, they would use a hair dryer to try to get them just burn them out. You know, like this is like a damn napalm. Yeah, I remember they'd blow cigarette smoking you or try to get them bitches out. Dude, he had to go like four times, man. They brushed his hair with these like little things. But man, imagine like he's a boy. Imagine being like the captain of the middle school cheerleading team with all that hair. Yeah. I mean, it's like a six hour hair brushing commit.

33:45Will do women get headlights, you think? Yes. Oh my god. I didn't know that. Yeah. Bring that up. What percentage is it more of a male ideal? Or is it more of a male pastime or is it female in male? Probably non-discriminatory on the whole headlapse. I don't, if I'm a little bug, I'm pulling up on a chip. I'm talking about. Because otherwise, they're probably gay bugs, I'm guessing. Females actually get headlights more often than males, according to the data from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, or at least they're trying to prevent it. Hair length, longer hair gives the lights a larger surface area to climb, hide, and lay eggs. That's why you got to get that buzz cut, ladies. Yeah. Age matters. Children between the ages of three and eleven get lights the most. Regardless of gender, cleanliness does not matter. Getting lights has nothing to do with having dirty or clean hair, dang. Just all about who you're hanging with. We got them, boy. We had them, though. We loved them at some point.

34:46Because we want a lot of get a pet or whatever. I remember getting them bitches. I'd be like, ah. Man, I was a kid and I stayed over a little boy's house one night in his trailer. And first of all, this is how terrible. Man, like I have the worst allergy to cats. My parents never cared. Cats all in the house. I'm over there wheezing. Just your whole childhood. Did you ever have the kid in school to just always kept the green thing right there? And there are no just that green, that green snot. One of my friends had tits kind of on them with my buddies. And I'd sleep at his house and I'd later watch him look at his body or not look at his head. I'll just see it. I'll look at it. I'll look at it. We go to this down. I went to this boy's house man. Single-wide trailer. Three cats. Man, I pulled the covers up. Fleeze, doll.

35:46No. I'm talking about fleez. Damn. And I'm wheezing. Called my mama didn't even come get me. You said you'd like to tough it out tonight. That's crazy man. Dude, I said like, oh yeah. Well people were bad off back then. A asthma. A asthma was a big thing. I didn't believe in it. You know, and I still don't to be honest with you. But people had that sometimes, you know, when people had that asthma. I had, you know, I had it. People couldn't read that. But I only had it when I got around cats, which was when they're living in your home. Yeah. Just do the math on that. I can't believe your parents did it like that. My parents had a chin-chilla Persian. The harriest of cats. Damn, let me pull them up. A chin-chilla Persian. And that's some of a bitch would kick my door open to my bed and shit in the middle of my bed. Oh god, dude. Look at that thing. Yeah.

36:47That's a long way from a Labrador. Oh, dude. That little... That is the other end of the periodic table. Yeah, shit free. Labrador is... Yeah, that is... Yeah, chin-chilla sterling. Oh, wow. That was his name, sterling. And was he rich or whatever? He looked rich, especially in our house. Dude, I remember first time I ever saw a dog inside of a house, man. I was probably 12 years old. I went to my buddy's God's house and they had a beautiful dog in there. Gold and retriever. And I'd look like damn Suzanne Somers. I didn't understand it. It came around the corner. And I was like, they briefly... I was like, who is that? Because I just never seen a dog inside before. And that thing came around the corner. Damn, beautiful brother. I just remember that. And God, yeah. Some people... I remember sleeping at some fella's house and he had all the pets. He had all the pets and cages in his room. And tons of them had escaped and shit. And he cut the farts. Oh, yeah, he had farts.

37:48He had the ones that pee on each other's backs or whatever. You know, like the twinks or whatever those twinks. Yeah, twink, farts. Whatever they are. I think they're twink. Tink, and turtle. Probably had turtles in there. Oh, dude. Anything that fucking stank he had it in there, dude. And at night, he'd sleep fine. But if you stayed in his house... He was humid in there, probably. Bro, like... Oh, the air just felt like it had been eaten soup, dude. It was just fucking... It was just... But he cut that fan on. He had the most powerful ceiling fan I'd ever seen in my life. I think it was hooked up to their truck out front. And he would cut that and he would... And he would sleep, dude. And it would just whirl up all the smells. It was almost like... God was just like... It was almost just like doing an all call for like another... With market. Yeah, just out there. Yeah. But that was alive. Oh, it smelled like a damn Vietnam breath man up in there, dude. It was... Bro, every animal... And the animals, it kept them awake all night. So I couldn't sleep. I was so scared of all these snakes and muskrats and damn...

38:49demons and fucking just violent emojis and all the shit he had in cages. And I would lay there wide awake and it just stank, dude. God. And you could hear his daddy watching pornography in there in another room, dude. God. And he bang on the wall whenever it got to like a good scene of the porn out or whatever. When he was spraying out. And I'm like, what in the hell do I... I can't watch. You know what I'm saying? I'm in here. I'm in here in the damn jungle book. God, that was dude. I forgot about it. How do we make it? I mean, the sad part is I have stories like that. I just am not as quiet as good as telling them. What are you talking about? Do you're a great storyteller, dude? You're great storyteller. Growing up in the South, dude. Do you remember at a school dance, dude? Do you remember like being at a school dancing with a slow song would come on, yeah? And you had to go cross and ask her to dance, man. I'm talking about... I had on a damn... I had on a damn... A cardigan? Oh my god. Little Navy blue cardigan and some...

39:52I didn't... You remember where... All my buddies had the polo shirts, but I had the fake horse one. That was like the real polo. And then there was the fake one. And then everybody had... Uh, subagos. But then I... Subagos pulling my banyan machine. Oh, subagos. Yeah, I had the fake subagos. I remember how to teach her that. There you go. Subagos. There. No, keep going. Oh yeah, that's real subagos right there. Right in the middle. Bro, that's nice, dude. That's subagos. Now, see how you got the little tag right there? Yeah. What does that say? Subagos on it. S-E-B-A-K. Oh, yeah, see mine didn't say subagos. Mine was... My shit was plastic. Yeah. Shit, heck, we're cracked. That night warned me cracking. The shoes. The shoes. Oh, thank you. It didn't take me to the last for 35 years. Mine, I have a crack. Bro, we had some down. Trying to think Eastlands were popular.

40:53Eastlands. Yeah, but those are kind of a little bit pricey, dude. So sometimes I ended up in the... The tennis shoes, I had some S-J9, thousands or whatever, the bitches were. They were just... So you're how old? I'm 46. Yeah, you're... So yeah, we... Man, I had the fake jams. Did you ever have real jams? I never heard of jams. You never heard of jams. Oh my god, jams. Wait, were they long shorts for men? Long shorts with all kind of colors. Yeah, I think... I remember that. It was like beachwear or something, but I was just passing. How you go? Yeah, shit was... Man, I never got a real pair of them. I was always some damn... I think you're a little worse. You're lucky you didn't get a real pair of those. Roses, did you all have roses? No, man, we had roses. We had it. We had a Jerbo jeans. That was a big thing, bro. Bongo's. No, no, we didn't had it yet. And we had, oh, Zika very, she was kind of pop. And it was like this tight, like kind of dance pant. But yeah, that's a different thing. Zika. Zika Bereechi. Zika Bereechi's bring him up. It was Italian, it was Italian pants for boys

41:55and sometimes masculine girls. I never heard of Zika Bereechi. Then things were popping, bro. But dude, the school dance boy, you get over there. Man, I had... And in our school, they made the girls sometimes... You hitting this right here, boy. Oh, yeah, that was a move, dude. Freaking. And the girls, like sometimes they made them wear like a... You know those pool things that they have at pools that people get in? Like a floaty kind of thing? Well, they would... Oh, they would do that sometimes. But then some of the girls, some of the girls, their daddies would make them wear like a little floaty thing so you couldn't even put your line. I swear, you couldn't put your head... Poor child had to show up with the floaty on. Yeah, but you couldn't put your head, just get your hand out of kind of... You could rest your hands on it, but you ain't resting them on her back. You know what I'm saying? It was kind of like a little... Like bumper bowling kind of. You ever been bumper bowling? It was like that.

42:56But I remember that. And God, dude, I just remember if even if a girl like whispered in your ear, I just remember my ear would start just... Get in the way. Oh, hot, bro. And remember if you even touched like a girl's back or way, you know, it was so hot. I just remember like, God dang, I don't even know what's going on. Or maybe my receptors were bad off, bro. Dang. No, I was feeling them. I'm just... I mean, it was just so... It was just being... That just like that... You forget like how much the energy... I don't think kids really go... Do they even get hyped? Like, we used to get hyped. Dude, we were talking hyped. Oh, dude. We'd have like homecoming dance, Valentine's like... Every... President's Day dance. Oh, dude, I remember one time I just got an act near whatever something had happened. I might have just fallen into something that was like, you know, I might have just... Paws and ivy. It could have been poison ivy. It could have been when that spray truck would come through the neighborhood or something. It was a ski to truck. Cause we fucking... I'd ride right behind that bitch to catch a buzz. But then the dark side of that was

43:58you would get a little bit of rash for not long, maybe 48 hours. But I remember we had a dance and... So, uh... My sister's friend was like, well, I'll put some makeup on you, you know? And they had Revlon. You ever heard of Revlon? And it sounded like... It was the only one. Yeah, maybe it wasn't. And I couldn't hear it. Oh, God, yeah. That shit was... White rain. God. You just start your pants with that shit. That shit could... That was dual purpose. Dude, but I remember she put some makeup on me, dude. And to cover up that act, you know, I was like, oh, nobody will be able to know, dude. I'll fall. But I look like a damn fan of the opera, dude. God looked absolutely un... Boy, the rain was that. I think it was probably a-great or something like that. Dude, if you look back on those pictures, I'll look like Sammy Sosa when those crazy pictures they came out, you know? Like the later in... Well, the little... The little aggro. Oh, bro, damn. Oh, yeah. Calico. Oh, bro, yeah. I look like I've been making love to a Calico cat, bro.

45:01I just say, I look bad all, bro. God, I got tricked, though. But that was fun, man. That was a good time, dude. Those are the good times. I'm a skis of sprayer. Yeah, I remember that stuff. You grew up, I saw Redstone where you grew up on an epinopharmia. Well, we grew up in Leesburg, the town in Virginia. Lees can't... Georgia, South Georgia. And we grew up... We didn't grow up like... You've seen like your houses with all the fields around it. I didn't grow up like that. I grew up in a small town like, man, just... quintessential small town, ride your bike down the street. But all like, there was literally peanut fields. One, a quarter a mile down the road. And then all the peanut meals. Like, I literally had a peanut meal in my backyard, essentially. I mean, I could take a rock and throw it into the peanut meal. And, man, you talk about all the... They start cleaning all those peanuts.

46:03Dust up the whole city. Smell it like peanuts, the whole. And... Is it good because you go down there and if you just bike over there, they give you a half a handful of nuts or something. Yeah, they was planted, go around. But, you know, we would go pooled green peanuts and pick them out of the vine and boil them. That was something, you know, this time of year all the peanuts are getting... They're starting to mature a little bit. So you can go get green peanuts and boil them. The Joll every bowl of peanuts much in... I love eating boiled peanuts, but a lot of times I'll see them like in South Carolina or something like that. So that's how we pull them up. And then we put them on a tailgate. You kind of sit them on the back of a tailgate and just sit there and go... And just pick them out, fill them in a bucket. Open them all up. No, you leave them in the shell. You just pick them like that. And then you wash them real good. That, you know, a lot of people... People all would ask me about peanuts. And they'd be like, I don't like them. Well, some people wouldn't wash them properly. They'd be the hell you be eating dirt, dirt, water, and a peanut.

47:04So with us, we were really clean and good. And man, when my dad cooks them, they're about as good as it gets. Get your Miller light and a styrofoam cup full of boiled peanuts. Boat peanuts are good, huh? Oh, man. We'd all do make a flavor with them, too, ever? Was it always... We never really did cage it and all that. You know, we cutting it forward in the Tony Sashirees and none of that. We just had to do old Mortons straight up Mortons, baby. Mortons salt, baby, dang it. That was... Dude, there was only like a couple of things in the house. Do you even... Remember, there weren't even any medicines in the house you were growing up? There was like salt... Like something pink. Yeah. Yes. What was that? That was for pink... Kalamon lotion. Kalamon, but then there was always pink antibiotics. Oh, like, well, that... What was that? I don't know what it was. It was just... Pink stuff. I don't know. Well, they had like... They had like cleans and stuff if you needed to like clean yourself really. That's it right there. Just the pink stuff if you got a...

48:05A moxicillin. Moxicillin. Bubblegum flavor. Bro, that shit cured everything, dude. Yeah. Clout. Yeah. Childhood clout. Oh. How the strong case of it, dude? I had clapped in my eyes once. That's how bad it was for me, dude. But I've been through a lot of... You had some bad news called Blink. Yeah. Yeah. Because you clapped. Yeah. It's called Blink. Boy, they got the Blink. Oh, that's hilarious, bro. Dude, I'm okay. Glad you're here today, man. Dude, you remember I saw... Bro, do you even remember that I saw you at... in Hawaii? Yes. Dude, I remember I was in the sauna first of all and there was a man in there and it was Damn Ryan Seacrest in the sauna and I didn't know what the hell was going on. I thought it was like a new... like a new game show they were doing or something. Like, man in the... Like, you know, out of the like, steam buddies. Grab the hot rock. Yes, I'm like, yeah.

49:06Yes, I'm like that. Like, bowl of peanuts or whatever, you know? Like, dude. I just didn't know what it was. And then... Have you told this story yet? No. The world needs to hear Theavans trip to Hawaii with his brand new bodyguard. Yeah, I'm glad. Yeah. I had a security guy with me, dude, because I was like... So I see Theav. But yes, I get out there. I see you and I'm like, well, I mean, you're in Hawaii. Yeah. It's romantic and beautiful. And I... I keep asking you. Yeah. Like, who'd you bring out? And you keep telling me... A security guard. And I'm like, this is f***er's line. Why do you come to the four seasons in Hawaii by yourself with a brand new security guard? So after about the fifth time, I was like, it's really just him and the security guard. Well, I didn't...

50:07Well, how were the conversations? I brought up to you exactly how. So me and it would have go to dinner every night, because the freeze happened. So the freeze in Nashville, I was in Las Vegas for UFC. The freeze happens. I can't go home. Oh, I got it. So you just pivoted. You pivoted. Yeah. And I'm not saying that there's probably not great girls in Vegas, but I didn't really know anybody. Like, you know, it's like, I just don't want to bring somebody for five days. I was like, I don't know how long I'm going to have to be out there. So I probably could have had some strategy and float and float a gale out. But anyway, me and him brought us sort of... We sat there for five nights. We'd be sitting there. We weren't even really like, now we're like friends, but at the time, we weren't like really friends. This is what you're getting. I mean, you're hell. That's for a way to, that's for a way to vent your dead of security. I just do a Hawaiian getaway. Do a honeymoon with him. Yeah. But without the honeymoon. Wow. Y'all out there eating a full pig together. Oh, too. Who ate the apple?

51:07I know this. Neither one of us put it in our mouths. I'll tell you that, brother. We were just sitting across from each other dreaming about women. That was it. But I will say this, do we be at dinner? And it's just me and him. Because I didn't have anybody to go with. Right. And when we had our dinner, you're like, man, you need to get home. But you said I just sort of just got home. Well, I didn't know him. And I already had five meals in a row with him. I was like, this is one time I get hung out with you. But the hilarious part was, so we'd be sitting there at dinner and somebody in the right next to us would get down on a knee and propose to somebody they were with, dude. We must have sat there next to each other through nine proposals, bro, over five days. Just me and him eating them, you know, was always like fish dinners. And then it would be out on the porch and right next to us, they'd built the American Idol. Yeah, I was out there doing that. So they'd built y'all stage. So every... So I'm sitting there thinking, well, they done brought you in to be some kind of damn guest,

52:09critiquer. I'm like, you have me so messed up. Like I could have, you could have put 10 options of why you were in Hawaii. And I don't wear O for 10. I can't think it... Like for the first five minutes, I'm like, why are you here? Yeah. Man, I'm just here. I'm like, man, he's the show's been told him, he's a surprise or something. And then I'm like, man, this bro's just here with the security guard. I didn't know what to do. And then my buddy Rich is the, sometimes he's the only friend that I have who's not married or doesn't have a job. You can't call your married buddies in the village. Let's get away. Yeah. It's ice and Nashville. We're... Come hit the road. Yeah, let's go to Hawaii. Yeah, yeah, just to work like that. So it's like, yeah, sometimes it's like, well, that's my buddy I can go with, you know? And so like, yeah, sometimes we end up just kind of going around places but dude, and when I tell you we sat there just like, and I think people thought we was gay, man or whatever because they would,

53:14they would, everybody else was just couples, you know? And it was just me and him sitting there in general time. I think I was pretty sad bro. But it was nice. Still with you? Huh? Yeah. So we're still, and we're buddies now too. It's kind of like now, like we just went to Austin this weekend. But yeah, things got kind of scary for a little bit. It's like, I don't know. I get it. And I think you just don't know how people are going to act sometimes. Like things can just be weird. So sometimes it's nice to have somebody around to watch. Well, you know, we're talking about just to watch your six. We're talking about it. Like with me, when my son's playing football at our stadium, you know, our home crowd, they get that they're not going to come up to me and want to picture while I'm watching my son. But man, when we travel to other other away schools, it's nice to have a guy just go, Hey, lookal, you kind of have a guy. It's nice to have a guy just go, Hey, let him watch,

54:15let him watch his son play. Yeah. And then on our way out of water, you got to have a guy manage that. Because if I'm managing that by myself, then you're distracted from your son. Then I'm managing that. Right. Even in Alabama this week, we signed, I mean, I didn't, I didn't take a picture with everybody that would have won a one. But when the game was going on, I was watching the game not, because man, I try to, I try to do the right things on all those moments. You know, you got little kids standing there wanting to picture, but you guys know that guy to kind of. Yeah, just say what's going on. And also somebody just to, and it's like, but it's just somebody to go with. It's like, I know it. Let's go. We can go do something. It's good. And he likes to go to the gym. It's getting satirized out of it. It's also it's like, we'll never have children, by the way. I'm learning. You and him could adopt. No, dude, I ain't got a doctor being. But I was with him for five days in a wide, I mean, I didn't even propose. You think I'm adopting? Can't y'all both put it in the cup, spin it, and then find a donor? I think I'm not looking like both, y'all.

55:18Oh, put it in the cup. Like that picture you drew. Bro, you're hilarious, dude. This is fucking hilarious, bro. God. I know, but I've been going on some day. I've been dating some, dude. So I think it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. Semi local, you know, similar. It's always like, I do got some buddies that are single. They've been divorced. Sinking like, man, they're ain't no women in Nashville. And I'm like, what's, here's what it is. It's not a walkable city, dude. You walk, you start walking around, you're going to get hit by something. I know, but if you can't find a woman in Nashville, and I'm not saying you're having trouble, but this other couple of the buddies, I'm like, there's a fresh new, there's a fresh new cruise ship. A cruise ship from what? It's like every weekend, the, the, the, from where Murphy's burrow. What they reset from. Oh, I see what you're saying.

56:18Gals is coming in. But there's some places you can't, we, I mean, like, oh, I agree. Yeah, it's like it resets on Wednesday. Yeah. And then you gotta get out there. But dude, I can't go out to Broadway. It's dangerous out there for, it's like, you just run, it's like, it's too much out there. Yeah, well, I'm sure you probably did it a little bit. And then it was like, yeah, I probably went maybe three times. I was with you. I honestly was with you first time. You told me you and kid rock tried to walk down the street Broadway. And you were like, dude, like you had just tried it. We were at that little, we were at a showcase. First time you and I met, and you were like, man, I just learned I can't walk down Broadway. So that's for the first time. Maybe I think if people are drunk too is scary. That's the thing, you know, it's just scary when people are drunk, dude. But the other barriers seem to go away. Yeah, I think it is normal. Yeah. But it's like if you're not, it's just like, you know, it's just a mix of things. But the end of summer can be sad. But luckily, it means the dawn of the most exciting stretch

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1:00:33it's not. Right now get 10% off at Tacovas.com slash Theo. When you sign up for email and text. That's 10% off at t-e-c-o-v-a-s dot com slash Theo Tacovas dot com slash Theo. See site for details. Tacovas point your toes west. Yeah, do you live in a nation has been great though? It's all the different people just to meet and be around. Man, it's been a vibe, dude. And then you get to go out in the country and have your country moments. Oh, yeah. Do we just got paid? I do. I do. I missed Turkey, huh? Well, I'll tell you, but I came in the week after. Did you the one with? Uh, when you went down, yeah, when you went down there, yeah, well, they was a week later. Dude, they put the gut. The bullets they put in my gum weren't even real. They didn't, they didn't trust me with firearm. Did you find that out later? Huh? Yeah. Well, who killed the turkey?

1:01:35I couldn't have done it. Well, first of all, you're wearing the wrong attire. They said green. And yeah, I fucked it up. Now, have you done that again? No, I would go down again though. I'll take you hunting and I will. Will you? I won't, I'll put you real ammo in the... Take me somewhere. See, look right here. Yeah. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. Those, those glasses were from a damn senior citizen. So that was get dark. You know, dark. Did you get cataract surgery two days before that? That was stuff about images were dark dude. I drove a sedan home. You know, the images are big, dude. A Lincoln conanental. Bro, you're fast. It happens, bro. That's how I want to get that. Well, that's fun. You got to do that. I'll take you on some real stuff. Why don't he don't know what he's doing? Well, he was hunting some osteolyls. And I'll say this, man, they hunt like afterwards we were leaving the, I don't know if it's called the scene of the crime or whatever it is. Where have you go? So we're leaving out of there and there's two birds like right by the road like on the way out. And they get out like we're gonna shoot. Yeah. And I'm like, dude, the

1:02:40game's over like we already did it out there. And these are like in the locker room when I'm taking his, he's got a towel on his neck. One of these turkeys. Yeah. Putin' gold bonong. Yeah. What? Somebody went over there with a day. I'm hangin' on that. I think and I was like, dear God, get me out. This is this is turning to something else, you know. This is a day of wet market. So we're back. But God, bro, but it was fun, dude. I would go hunt some other stuff. Dude, it might wait. We might have to start getting some real different animals, especially with these beef prizes. You see what's going on with all that? Yeah, you know, it's it's funny, man. I mean, I'm from Trump said he's got 300,000, 300,000 tons of beef they found somewhere. Let's let me see what it is. The president announced fighting that his administration with temperament, temperament lift tariffs on up to 300,000 metric tons of imported ground beef, dude. Well, be, you know, I'm kind of in the loop on all that. I talked to a lot of buddies that have them.

1:03:40You know, there was, I'm not, I mean, I'm in ag. I mean, I've kind of, I've gotten to know, I've gotten to know Brooke Rollins, the secretary of agriculture. Cool guy. It's girl. And she, that's her. She's married. She's married. She's got kids at A&M and okay, I shouldn't be asking this, but she, I know you feel bad now. Now you're going to have your phone tapped. Yeah. Every time I say poultry or pegs, I'm like, Brooke's gonna, Brooke's gonna put some, dude, so man, they just had this thing in Texas called screw worms. I've never had them. Yeah. Well, you would know. So like screw worms, light on your skin, their eggs hatch on your skin and they burrow into your body. And damn. And so it's like just having neighbors. So Brooke,

1:04:45and I, you know, I've done my farm tour stuff through the years. And so we've had a lot of, I've gotten to meet a lot of governors that come out into my farm tours. I've, I've, were Brooke on trying to plan stuff to, to bring it to lift up farmers. But man, it's funny. You know, listen, I mean, we all, everybody can sit back and judge administrations and cabinet members and all that. But when you know somebody that's in the trenches doing it, I mean, you hear what they're having to try to negotiate a day like, man, she's having a, well, first of all, when they came, when she came into office like, there weren't any, I mean, the egg, egg prices were going crazy. It's poultry, you know, bird flu. And you're like, man, you're not even thinking that the secretary of agriculture is trying to solve all these problems. And then I call her up. And I'm like, what are you doing today? She's like, she's like, I mean, yeah, we're trying to lose back. Yeah. Or something. We don't think we're rocking a roll in right time. They get, right. About time they get the eggs going, then screw worms come in in Texas. And the problem with

1:05:51screw worms is what are they bring them up? They're a fly. And in, and, and, and they're a fly that you can, they're easily controlled. If you, you got to, you got to look at that. I don't want them bitches. Yeah. God. And look at that one, huh? Yeah. That's a lot different than Pecker Nats. You remember Pecker Nats? Uh-uh. I don't think so. Did you grow it? Well, you didn't grow it with Pecker Nats. I never heard that old Nats fly around your dogs Pecker. My old granddad, look at that. Now Pecker Nats. You got a real thing that happened? Pecker Nats. Oh, wow. Anyway. So these things light on, well, not only do they get on cattle, they get on deer and wildlife. No. Yeah. So they'll, if you're, well, you're a monitor, you know, if you're a cattle farmer, you're watching your herd a lot better. Yeah. But if you're a, if you have a big deer ranch, you can't really monitor, you can't monitor your deer. So you got to really,

1:06:53this is a, it's a bad thing. So what you got to do is you have to launch sterile flies into the environment that mate with the female flies. So the female flies will chill out. They don't hatch the eggs don't hatch and then they die. Damn. Who would have known? Dude, when you think about how so many like little edges of science have to use, New World Screwworm eradication relies primarily on the sterile insect technique, which involves releasing millions of radiation sterilized male flies to mate with wild females and halt reproduction. That's the fact that we don't even know that that goes on. All the things that we don't even know that goes on, man. I'm just wondering if there's like, you start to wonder if we don't have to start to evolve to some other meats. That's my big question. You know what I'm saying? Say the price of beef gets too crazy because also I know that they don't have like a young herd of cattle. That's one of the problems. Well, I think drought, you know, there was a lot of, man, there was the one. There was the one time where all the, I think one thing that got us put behind was when a lot of

1:07:59the cattle was lost in the big freezes a couple years ago. You think that would be fine. First of all, heat or freeze. It's ready to eat or it's you can eat it later. That's how I feel like that thing. I see. Yeah. They died from cold weather. Yeah. Hundreds of thousands. Yeah. But I'm saying they're frozen. What say dying the field? You can't go out there and salvage it. Yeah, you can't. Well, guys, why ask it why we're in the true cattle deficit right now? I mean, why we're in the great question. Yeah. Why are we? Why is it happening now? The US is at historic is in a historic cattle deficit with herd sizes dropping to a 75 year low of roughly 86.2 million head primarily driven by years of severe drought, soaring operational costs and an aging, ranching workforce. Wow. Huh. Per long dry spells across major cattle producing states dried up

1:09:02water sources. Urban sprawling high land values have tempted older ranchers to sell property to developers rather than passing on profitable operations down to younger generations. Huh. Interesting. Man, I think I'll flee. I'll flee. Yeah. Think about all the stuff that do you remember like being a kid just being like, we're going to get newt. Do you ever think about that was a kid like getting newt by something, just getting nuclear warheads and stuff. I remember just always being scared of like, did you? Yes. Trying to think what I was scared of probably. I was scared of like, we had a neighbor that would kept burning down homes in our neighborhood. You know, we had wild my mother at think in an attempt, so I wouldn't plan the yard a lot. She would tell me that there were packs of wild dogs that would roll through the front yard and eat me alive. So she had early onset, but I'm gonna pay my mother. I mean, I mean, and like, about every

1:10:14month or two, you'd see a pack in the cut. There they are, Luke. Oh, yeah. Oh, do you remember a guy who was there all hunting one hot dog, but I mean, one dog in heat. Oh, it was just it wasn't wild dogs. It was just every dog that wasn't on a leash in Smithville, Georgia was just chasing the one hole. Yeah. And how many leashes did they have in Smithville, Georgia? Yeah. That's right. Well, I remember that it said wild dogs when I was a kid. They had a dog in the neighborhood. I remember the first time I saw a doberman, Pinchardude and a rot wilder, bro. Not on a leash. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't even do the rot wilder play tailback somewhere in our town. I think dude, they had some them. I mean, some of the dogs were just wild when you were a kid. Oh, that dog right there. God. Yeah. I mean, when you I remember seeing them in just in the back of a pickup truck, just going like, what is that? What is that? And I don't want to do with that, dude. Well, then everybody that owned them would brag about how it could crush a bowling ball with one bite.

1:11:19So we had a guy who killed his grandmother. And that yeah, that was unfortunate. But yeah, it was a sketchy area, not with the rot wilder. I did it. I mean, I didn't want to talk about it, but it wasn't good. And she was our lunch lady too. God, that was heartbreaking. Sloppy Joe Day. Went south. Yeah, bro. But my mom is, I mean, she's, my mom has like 500,000 Instagram followers. But I can see that my mom, she has three kids. Yeah, she's hilarious. We're living in a single wide trailer. She's tired. Her son wants to go out and ride his tricycle down the dirt road. And she don't want to sit out there and watch him in the 85 degree, what 95 degree weather. So what are you telling? Dangerous. I think the wild dogs were in a, we're in Defcom. We're in Defcom. Five right now for wild dogs. And you're going to have to, you got to wait till it cools.

1:12:20I'll tell you that. My mom would, well, this is back when I was just talking about this year. The week is back in the East have pdf files or whatever they sent them to the door. You had a law you had to say, you was a pdf file, you know, what is that? Pdf files. People will bet or pedophiles. Yeah, pdf. Yeah, people say it different. Pdf files bring it up. I thought you were, I thought you were talking about pdf light. I thought, yo, we're malnourished. I thought you were so malnourished. They would drop pdf light off at your house. Well, if you see an older dude just drinking pdf light, that dude is halfway there. That's all I'm telling you because a pdf file often misspelled as pdf files. So we out, we misspelled it. But also then we missed it. I'm fine with it. But anyway, this was the laws they had where you had to go door to door and say you were a pdf file. Remember, but our mom's all works. You can't say your pdf file. They had to. That's you would admit to being a pedophile. They had to. If you moved to a new area, you had to go door to door in the

1:13:22neighborhood and let everybody know you lived in the neighborhood. If you were a pedophile. Yeah. If you weren't what the fuck why would you do it? I thought you were saying that that's crazy. I thought you would, I get it. It was like a judge order or to get to go tell everybody. Got it. All right. So these pdf files would come to the door and it would be for us four kids standing there and we go. He'd be like, I'm just letting y'all know. I'm a pdf file. I mean, we like put it in the stack. Dude, they had some damn. Do we play kickball with this one pdf file dude and we'd mess with them. We'd be like, you ain't touching my ass and we just kick that bitch dude. Because once you know who it is, kind of the, you know, a little bit of this, you know, you know whether to hang a right or left. Yes. You just know what's going on. It's when the secret of surprise, when they don't have that surprise there, that's, you know, when they can't surprise you. Dude, we used to have a ham radio. Remember that dude and you talked to get that CB radio and just be talking to truckers. Somebody would come. Somebody would come and make love to my neighbor and we

1:14:23go sit out in his car while he was in there and we just sit on his on that on that CB radio talking to truckers dude. That's fun. That shit was, we had a good time dude. Yeah. We would build forts. We would take saplings and chop them off with a machete and haul them up the tree and make logs. But if we fell out of the tree, we would all, oh, if we fell out of the tree, we would land on the saplings. No, y'all were doing some damn Vietnam shit. We would land, we could, could have landed on the saplings that we just, oh really? Like break your fall. You just would get impaled. We never got impaled. But it, it was a miracle. We did. No, we had some dude had passed through town and chiseled a set of tits into a tree bus and people go out there and look at them. Where'd you stash your playboys? We would do, we just found them dug them up. I remember my brother

1:15:29had some stacked on the topest shelf they ever made in the whole world dude and I climbed up there one time and I didn't know what was up there. They had cologne, a little bit of booze and damn nudie mags boy and I took a hit off all three. I might think I drank half that cologne by the end of that night. I don't know what was going on dude. I remember passing out and coming to and the death coming out. The death of the playboy magazine. That's when society fell and when men started getting leg tattoos, that's when shit all fell apart. Yeah. I mean, if you couldn't ride your bike to the woods, hike one mile and find your playboys under a piece of old rust to tin and sit there and yeah, sit there in nature. We had to fill it, draw you a cuder for the weekend for $23. This fell a nick and he passed away. We had swisher sweet stash with our playboys so we'd come home smelling. God. We'd come home smelling not like swisher sweet. God dude, it was all that stuff was being fun,

1:16:36dude. What are they doing now? I love nostalgia. I don't know what kids are doing now. I think it's well, everything's turning into robots now, dude. It's all changing, dude. But I wonder what if I was thinking, oh, I was going to say, if we did have to go to a rare meat, what would you go to, dude? Something that's not rare me something that's not a meat yet. What you going to get to? Not like tell me, not dear me. Well, I felt like say if beef, beef gets to out there, what do you what do you think? What do we switch to squirrel maybe? I've had squirrel. We used to shoot squirrels. I mean, we pellet. Oh yeah, brant gun. Then the squirrels, we had a little lady named Mabel Copswell. Mabel had a little nephew of the east to come into town. Chris, man, we'd get our pellet guns. We shot about eight squirrels one night and she, we scanned them. And it's really weird when you skin a squirrel and then you're eating it like 30 minutes later. It's, didn't

1:17:41these be a little more gap time? You probably ought to soak it in some water a little bit, but we ate it. Yeah. And she put it on wild rice. And I threw it up for nine hours that night as a kid. You think it was tainted meat? It was the last time I ate squirrel. When you throw up raw squirrel, I'm not sure she cooked it all the way. It left a mark. And did you put any vinegar on it? That's how I like it. Vinegar. But squirrels are good. I think populations are, that's what I'm saying. They're thriving. That's fucking a brand. That's damn branch cattle. You know what I'm saying? You see the images up there? You see 2000 squirrels, dude. But how many squirrels are in the world right now? Bring that up. Squirrels in the world. There is no exact global count for all squirrels, but scientists estimate there are hundreds of millions to billions of individual squirrels worldwide, boy. Look, 175 species of squirrels

1:18:45ground squirrels flying squirrels and chipmunks fly right into my mouth because it matches a good. Dude, it wouldn't take long for us to get used to them. I could have some. I wouldn't know them one. Huh? Just marinate it. You got to do something different. I could have that. Put some of that Morton's on them, baby. You know what else I might do? Slow smoke them. Slow smoke them. What if dehydrated? Probably things got real bad. I cooked that bitch with a lighter jacket. With a damn candle. Damn bed and bath, bath of body works. Caramel candle. Oh, dude, I want that thing. Which is a Christmas cookie candle right under that bitch, boy. God, that's a good way to do it. I'll tell you this and then people aren't going to want to hear it. I'd eat damn Scottish Terrier if I could. They're beautiful. Bring one up. Look how cute they are. And I'm saying only if things got real bad. I'm not doing, I'm not running in with them. Petco and doing it. Scottish Terrier. Bring up the white one. I like the white ones. I'm open to whatever, but I grew up around a couple white ones. Look at them. You eat that?

1:19:48If he were real sick, yeah. And if he didn't mind, I'd have to get somebody like one of that dog whisper. Remember that guy? Well, so have you ever had elk meat? I had reindeer somewhere. That breaks your heart, but I've had a little. Do you like duck meat? I've never had it on thing. Duck on down here and get some of this meat. That's a duck hunting joke and I got your ass. That's fucking great. You started that thing got set up 30 minutes ago. What did you brought up meat? Baby, I've been waiting 30 minutes to hit you with that shit. We had to go through squirrel meat, Scottish Terrier meat, elk meat. I finally got the duck meat. You've been waiting. It's also goddamn that is good. Thank you. But you need to get on elk meat, man. I go elk hunting.

1:20:50You need to go on elk hunt. You put it in your freezer. So my wife, man, you know, most women don't think about, oh, I got a freezer full of elk meat. Well, in the first elk I brought home, she, it was in the freezer and finally, man, she just, she goes out there and grabs it and she's white in. And is it still of the horns in her? You take them out? No, it's all, it looks like ground beef. They process it. You know, if you're out in Colorado and you kill an elk out there, you take it to the local processor and they ship it to you. You'd love that. I wouldn't mind trying it. So why are you, why are you so stressed about that you're stressed about this meat thing? Well, I just start to worry like, what if things get weird? Like, you know what I'm saying? I want to have a strategy where my things do get start to get kind of dystopian in the world. Say something happens. What percentage of, I've never had one of these are they good. Yeah, it's great, man. Yeah, good stuff. What percentage to, what is this, by the way? This will be the first one I've ever had. It's called Celsius. It's, it's an energy drink. Is it going to make me say a lot of stuff I

1:21:51want to take back too late? Yeah. I mean, I'd say pecker nats is one I want back. Oh, dude. Now that one's fine, I think. Oh, that's good. Yeah, just what percent are we on the way there? It's like, like drinking vape. Have you started your, do you have your doomsday bunker here? No, I don't have a bunker yet. I don't have that kind of, I don't know, that kind of loot. I got, I got probably a lemon bags of quick read in my yard right now. So I could fucking probably get behind that. You could build a, you could build your own little smoker with that and hide in that bitch. Boy, they'll never find me in that bitch. Dude, if you get it, here's what I'm saying. If you can't afford a bunker, just get you a big ass grill watch paradise. I don't show paradise. Paradise. Yeah. Uh-uh. Well, anyway, I've had paradise. Have you seen those things? Those drink, those like, it's like a mixed like thing they have at the gas station. I remember, bring up parrot ice. Parrot ice. I'm talking about. Yeah. I like those. I used to like them anyway.

1:22:55I don't. Did they take out slush puppies? No, we had them on. Oh, God, remember slush puppies? God, they were good. Lemon lime slush puppies. That's, I remember all that shit. There's a slush puppy right now. That's what you need to get tattooed on your leg. You think so? Oh, slush puppy. No, I ain't, I got enough. No, no, no. I slush puppy the company doing. Yeah, bring them up. That's a good. We might ought to buy them. Dude, kickstart that again. Make it a little healthier. These puppies ain't gonna slush themselves. How many of you feeling? So slush puppy is still in business though. Finding and ready to drink cup at a major US gas station or convenience store is much harder than you used to be. The brand is owned by the ice corporation and its parent company J and J snack food. Damn, that's beautiful. While large chains have largely swapped them out for IECs or slurpees, the official slush puppy. Site notes, the brand is still active. You can still find machines and serfs and select

1:23:59independent locations like roller ranks, convenience stores, bowling alley. Yeah, you get slush puppy bag and park. That's not bad idea. I'm looking at that, man. Well, you remember little jugs, the little jugs with the, they're about that big. They look like a grenade. There you go. Oh, yeah. I'm talking about sugar water. Yeah. When you got done with football practice and whichever mama brought you that after football, man, you knew you needed to pass the hat around. You thought that was her. It was her. It was her. I'm talking about, we don't know that starful cooler than the mama brought the little jugs. And she had the Oreos cut in half. You got half a Oreo. Damn, bro. That was it, dude. Little jugs. They were good, man. I miss that kind of stuff. Yeah, I'm on my, so if it goes down, you just need to get into my house. That's what I need to do. It goes down because I got, we got the deer. We can live off deer for a little bit.

1:25:03Yeah. When they do it. I got my dude. I'll live over there, man. And I'll work for you guys too. I'm happy to get do something. I did painting. I did siding for a little while. I did flooring. I need some butter. I need butter. I need gutter work. I could do it. Gutter work. Yeah. I could do it. If you let me do it real early in the morning, I'll be quiet. But I could definitely do it. Get up there for him and do it. What was your job? What was the worst job you ever had? Me? My grandfather made me put lightning rods on houses. Did you all have lightning rods? Nice to count this lady's cat, so. And she had probably 50 cats, dude. Here's what we would do. There's a war of I forgot about this. We've got something wrong with her. God was trying to get her to come into him soon. So we go get one cat. We'd run it in there and she'd give us a dime for it. Then we'd run in the other room and run back in with the same fucking cat. Show her that same cat. I bought my farm and there was a trailer on it that a woman had.

1:26:04His cat out. A few cats. That's a smell you don't forget. Dude, my friend, they didn't know, but their dog would just go pee in a room in their house. And that was their gastronomy. I guess they never went in there. And I remember just going to stay there. And I walked in and I stepped on the carpet and just the dust of like dog piss dust. Just flew up out of there. It's like cold almost like when you see. Imagine our immunity, our immune system from growing up. God, the bitches strong. Dude, we used to play under old houses and just dig an old house dirt and go look for shit. Yeah. Under houses. We, yeah, people would always tell us there was gold under people's houses and shit like that. My dad made me clean out a grain bin elevator one time. Elevator. An elevator. So when you pull in, when you, let's just say you got a wagon big, you put porn on a big wagon and you dump it in a pit. Yeah. When you dump it and that elevator takes it up and dumps it in a big warehouse.

1:27:07We took ownership of a new, it wasn't of a, we started renting a warehouse to put peanuts in. All right. Well, to get the, to get the, to get it approved so you could store peanuts, you had to clean. Well, for years, these farmers had just been using that elevator to offload wagons and put corn. Dude, my dad sent me down and that thing. And it had about five years of soybeans, corn, peanuts. And it would get, if the elevator breaks, you got to be able to go down there and fix it. And that was the elevator room. Man, it had about five feet of water in it. Two dead cats, some snakes. I got three quarters of the way down. It was straight maggots. And the only way to get it out is you had to shovel it in a five gallon bucket. And the guy above you had to pull it up with the water and it's just hitting you.

1:28:07Man, I went to the local diner after cleaning that thing out. Clear the whole diner out there. People couldn't be in the room with me. I mean, it was in my skin. Some of that shit, I used to have to clean out like, it was like, combine, I guess it would run the combine through. And then they would just park it for the winter. And a lot of, they'd have still had some corn in there. Right. And so some of the mice were getting there and then the snakes were getting there, dude. And I'd have to get in and just clean and just like pressure wash and just, man, but it was always, always some crazy. It was usually like a watermark, a sensor. I guess it wasn't rattlesnakes, but that would pull rattlesnakes into our peanut wagons that would come into our peanut mill and you climb over there. It was not a illsa. Those are the days, man. Damn, they were fun, but they were something else, dude. Did you, I saw, what's it going to ask you about? Oh, did you see those robot Olympics that happened?

1:29:08I saw them attempting to run. Yeah. And I saw one of them went faster than the same bowl. Yeah, bring that up. But did it, did it, I saw one fail. Well, do you, yeah, one fail. I mean, yet to see one like complete the drill. Look at that. Yeah, well, they came. Also, they're still only making the white ones right now. I do want to say that. So, I was saying I think things will change a little bit. So this is real. Look at that. That's nice. What's her name? This is the part that like the boxing, I don't really know. This is crazy though. But here's what I think is going to happen, man. I think we get to this place where is it called singularity, ain't that the term? Well, it's just like the tech lords and stuff. They're going to start. These will all be competing for them. So, they, that I'm just thinking they won't need us anymore.

1:30:08What will we do? Look at that. Look at that. That's a thing. Bro, look at that. Bro, that looks like an owl trying to get them from a bad date. Bro, that without his skirt. Oh, she went down. So this isn't China though. Yeah, but you know it's coming here. But dude, I'll tell you this. One of those little dinky ass robots. You get me a big diesel powered robot from Kentucky. Some name rustier. Something, you know what I'm saying? You get that bitch out. Look at that. Dang, that's wild though. That's five years. That thing won't be fallen in sparking. No, things are going to be cooking. But I just wonder what will it be like when you get one of those and that thing's doing all the, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just wonder if that's like what it's really like. And if it's that closer around the corner. I wouldn't marry no robot, I don't think. It's big in China. Is he seeing them latex ones and synthetic ones? I don't want all that. I don't want to. I don't know. I guess I don't know if she sleeps through. Have you ever had a programmer do that? Pre-knop that weekly pre-knop with your robot?

1:31:14I don't know if she sleeps through heavy. Dude, I just uh, yeah, haven't my mom's actually visiting right now, dude. Yeah, you. Sotheo goes, yeah, man, I want you to meet my mom. She goes, oh, she's sunbathe and I'm like, Ann? Time to meet her, right? Shit, I was ready to see. I was ready to see something. I should have it. I'll make it happen, man. Sunbathe and out there just cooking. Oh, and ain't no clouds in Nashville today. I mean, she's out there. Dude, we should we were growing up. Probably put the damn, just come roll in with the Johnson and Johnson baby oil. None of this damn. No SPF. What we hear? When she out there cooking for, getting her vitamin D up. Yeah, she just trying to stay active. Dude, she just at that age, she just told me the other day that she used to be Native American. So I'm like, oh shit, she's starting to lose her mind a little bit because that's. Hold her, your mom. She's 77, man. Yeah, she's the same age as mine. Is she? Mine was born in 47.

1:32:15No, mom was 79, be 79 in October. Yeah, she's good, though. What keeps her the most healthy, you think? You know, she, man, I think what keeps her the most healthy is she's her weight's really good. And man, you know what's funny, she's got a little house down in Mexico Beach, Florida. She wants me to put a elevator in. And I'm like, I'm not putting an elevator in. Because I think going up and down, her house is pretty close to the beach, so they got to be out of the floodplain. Oh, yeah, you got to. Man, she's coming up and down. You know, she's coming up and down. Yeah, steps all day. There she is. That's her back porch right there. She looks good. Who's that with her? That's old, that's old, that's the old, uh, that's old bankroll daddy right there. Damn. Somebody's got to do it. Hey, man, it's all, but man, but, dude, that's a tough woman. She looks happy. Oh, that's you, dude? That's me. Oh, I need, I'm not even joking, I can tell that. That's a tough woman.

1:33:18Yeah. Hey, man, man. She, uh, two packs of salums every day. Hell yeah. Four Bud lights. Mm hmm. She has calm down on beers. She drinks her two old doles. There she is. She's pushing that bitch. Is that a Dyson? She's pushing that bitch. Yeah, I guess I bought that last week. Hey, she don't even call me to buy that. She just goes straight to my business managers assistant. God, that's how they start cutting corners, dude. That's beautiful, man. Yeah, my parents, they pray on the weakest link in my global world. Like what do you mean? Well, like if there's a new hire, right? Let's just say we hire somebody. All right. And they come out on the road and they're like, hey, we just hired Casey. My dad's like, Casey, what do you do around here? Man, I do the ice. I need your number. I'm like, oh, shit. They're saying you know, Casey's coming to me.

1:34:18Hey, your dad called me for five tickets. He said he couldn't get nobody on the phone. Because anyway, they just goes down the chain every time. They just get them a new number. If they can get a number to get to me, baby. Oh, does it make it easier? Yeah. Yeah, dude, I don't like. So my mama would call me and be like, I need some flowers from lows. Yeah. And I'd be like, well, you just got something last. Well, now she just, she just, she's just, she's skirting around, skirting around. Now I see she got a new lime green electric. And her grass, she didn't know why she had no grass. Dude, I'll tell you this. It's a little more wild turnips. Dandelions. Is he, they're not growing or she just cut it again yesterday? Just don't even tell her, yeah, that's not grass, man. No, that's like, that's like damn lettuce. Yeah, that's like butter, what's that butter lettuce? Oh, yeah, that's good. Dude, we just went on a damn road trip last week, dude.

1:35:20That's shit. You and your mama? No, me and frickin, uh, me and some of my friends, bro, we went at one of those cruise America campers. Everyone in one of those. Just went right up there and got one offline. We got in like a big one, but my buddy never's license. And he went to get it or whatever. His driver's license, so they wouldn't give it to us or whatever. So dude, we got this cruise America thing. Bro, it was like driving a damn open toolbox, dude. It was bang, every, every, every bump you would hit, bang, bang. We were all huddled up in the front of it, bro, because if you were in the back, like everything was flying. Popcorn, you look like popcorn flying. Oh, dude, it was like, so you're not going to get a cruise America endorsement after this? No, bro, and they know what's up, dude. That's us right in and right there, bro. We took that bitch. That is like the poster child of it. What was that bad boy day? Probably 14, 14, 99, maybe 90. How far did y'all take it? Now is that y'all or is that just online? That's true.

1:36:20My buddy's right there. And what's my buddy, Bizzle and Zita, we all went out. We went out to field of dreams baseball game out there. Was that awesome? It was cool, man. How long was it where you sleep the pray? Could you not enjoy it? Because you were sleep deprived? Oh, dude, it was like, my buddy text me yesterday. He's like, hey, if you forget what it was like in there, just go slam your head into an open silver red drawer, bro. That bitch was fucking. Bro, it was miserable, bro. Who drove? All of us did, dude. We know one slept. No, we ended up just getting to people's houses and staying there and some of them we'd sleep in and some of them we'd stay with. Are they going to do that game every year? Is that field of dreams game? It's annual. I think so. They've taken two years off, but now it's back. They actually built, so they don't play the game on the actual field in the movie. They have the movie set that's there. They built another field back behind it through the corn. So it's kind of the capacity of it. About 6,000. Was it worth it? It was cool. Yeah, it was actually, man. We had a nice time, dude. It was a good experience.

1:37:20Bro, you're standing there and like they had probably 30 Hall of Famers that were there. And so all of them just came out. Did you hit the corn maze? No, they said it was overpopulator. Oh, and some kind of thick kid it went missing in that bitch. So they was locking it down. Oh, God, thank God. Always. That's probably why beef prices are screwed. They're making corn mazes. Hey, that's a good point, bro. When you all screw it around, I can make impuzzles out of your crop. Things are going to get bad. I ought to be feeding the cows with it. That's wild, dude. Yeah, but it was great, too. We went there and then we went ATV and that was good. With Penelli, you know him? I don't. Mike Penelli's a friend with Jimmy John. And some of those guys. I hadn't met him or boy, that's us. We were right there. That's y'all. How long was the trip? Probably a one week. Hey, man, you know back in COVID, I did 13 straight days with the boys on my tour bus. It's just the best. Oh, yeah, so much fun, man.

1:38:20I think you could probably afford one of those. What a tour bus? Yeah. The problem is you got a hooster driver. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I couldn't, I couldn't mentally manage a big vehicle like that. What happened there? At Bang Flip, if something, we had a technical issue on that bitch. But it was good, man. We enjoyed that. Did you got ATV Park? No, my buddy built a track out in like, uh, Marcella's Michigan and we drove out there. We drove to Chicago to interview Billy Strings. He was up there. He's amazing. I saw that. Dude, he's amazing. He's, he's, it's just amazing. Dude, his, like, yeah, I didn't see where you brought a good Taran from me to play like him. Yeah. Think about that either. I know you can play. Man, did he, was it a new song he played you on there? Yeah. It was good. He's great, man. Watching him and just talking with him about how Trance Pairnny is just about everything in his life. Bro, he's just had such a wildest life. Dude, what was it?

1:39:21Oh, when, when Raleigh Greenin was on, he was talking about your song. Take me through the song again that everybody keeps talking about. It's called Smoke Fish Golf Hunt Drink. Fish Golf Hunt Drink. Yeah. I know I've heard this song, but I just forget about it because it became like this internet piece of lore or whatever. Trace Ayala is always talking about it. Trace is always talking about it. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, we wrote it and I think, I mean, you know, it just started this, this, you know, this whole narrative got started that. I mean, that's the, that's the crazy thing about where we're at with. Social, they started a narrative that we aided. Yeah. And now, whether you like the song or not, or whether you like me as an artist, whether you like what I'm about or whatever. I mean, you know, I mean, we're all learning that, I mean, I can't do anything to me. Back when I wore tight jeans, which wasn't, then I was the tight jean guy. I mean, so you got through all these phases.

1:40:23Well, I don't wear tight jeans anymore. Now, I'm the guy that somebody said that I A out of song and wrote it. It's fun song and managed. Well, Riley got involved because Riley, I text Riley that. Riley goes, Hey, man, let's get together. I said, Hell yeah, I said, fish golf hunt, drink, etc. And then we wrote the damn song. Oh, you really did write it together? No, Riley didn't write it with me. Oh, that. Within I told the world that Riley, the damn thing got so much negativity that Riley was being funny that he didn't want to be like, don't associate me with that. Oh, I was wondering what he was saying. But yeah, because I didn't understand exactly. The song, we featured it as a like an early release on the album. And man, the fact that we featured it in younger kids called it a single, then man, it got off. Like, right when it came out, you get one or two kids with a bunch of Instagram or a bunch of followers that say we Aida.

1:41:25And then the whole world, like goes on their narrative. But they also go listen to it. They go listen to it, but then it started. It starts like, but I don't think people think you really Aida. I mean, I think there's like a, I don't know. I think a lot of people would do once it started. Once they started that chatter, it started. I mean, it was pretty crazy. I think that, yeah, I never grassed that because I saw that stuff. But then it led me to go listen to the song, you know, at least, right? But then dude, it makes guy, it was making guys like, like they're at a camera going, I hate you. Like they're looking in the camera. I think it's just like, and they're like, I hate you. And I'm like, I'm watching it and I'm like, I can see your face. Like if I see you one day, I'm going to f***ing knock the shit out of you.

1:42:26Dude, I'll fucking eat somebody's ears off their dick or face. I mean, but yeah, bro, that's what I'm like. People have lost their minds. I mean, I get like, I hate you. Yeah, choke on your own vomit. Dying your sleep. But these cats are saying it. But I don't think they, I think it's all part of like, it's kind of, this is interesting. It's actually almost to be like a case study. Because it's kind of interesting. Like something happens, right? Like nobody cares that much. I like people do care, right? They're involved. But I think sometimes it's just some of people to get involved in that day, right? Because I think you have to start to think of like, or I start to think of it like this. Like we used to get involved in things socially amongst each other. But that doesn't really happen anymore as much. So now a way to get involved in something is to create some angle or have something to say about something and just put it out there, right? Like, I think it's funny that then you have to wrap your head around the idea

1:43:28that you're happy that everybody is being this way because it's getting more notoriety. But then I'm like, well, wait, I'm not sure I'm happy about a bunch of teenagers telling a 50 year old man he's a piece of shit. Songwriter. But then I'm like, dude, you're 16. You're talking to a grown man that's made a shit ton of money doing this. But that's what they're going to do anyway. I know, but it's just so, like it's so far out there. I'm like, if I caught my kids doing some stuff like that, I would kill them. I don't think, right, but I think real country fans are real fans of your music and stuff. Listen to what I know. They're not fucking two. Man, I went down to, I went down to, and who gives you? When I went down to watch Bose Game, they were playing that song on the speaker at the football game, having a blast with it. So, man, as long as I'm writing songs,

1:44:29these people feel fault when I wrote Climbed Tree that I wake up, coffee, camo, put on camo. And I go climb a tree like Climbed Tree. The nearest tree. Yeah. They're not understanding. So, I think, I don't, be a, they think that I'm out there climbing. Like, I'm bare hugging a pine tree and climbing up in those are people that people are not doing well. People are not doing well, Luke. That's what I'm saying. I did, but I do. So, look, like, so Bose highlights. My son's football highlights. They're on something. And then I look comments, Climbed Tree. Yeah. I was talking good dude. I'm like, it's idiot. Oh, probably. That's so cli-like. That's my legged head to Climbed Tree. That's good, bro.

1:45:29Dude, I think just anything that has like, people was creating that. I'm, well, they're just, I get it, but I'm just like, it's still, it's still. Well, it's like, for people, but you want to know why, like, I'm worried about why it's that way. Like, what do you mean? You're worried about beef prices. Yeah. Like, I'm worried about why that, this many people are that way about me, like, in everybody. Like, why are they that way? I think it's just fun. I think people were just cli-ing right here. Who were you chill on the at-er-all? Luke Bryan responds to video saying his new song sounds like it was written by a four-year-old using AI. I think it's all, I think it's all just kind of fun and games, man. Yeah. I don't think people re- I think a lot of it is. It's just like this new way of communication. And it's like, it's just like, it adds just lore to the whole thing. Kind of. That's what I feel like. I know. I mean, listen, I mean, you got a figure. I've really had a long career.

1:46:32Oh, yeah. A lot of people doing that. I mean, when Country Girl Shaker from me came out, there were people that they couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle it live. Why? Because they didn't want the women shaking it or whatever? They just didn't want. They didn't want the women that had been shaking it anyway. I mean, yeah, my mother and my parents were getting drunk, listening to Clarence Carter stroking in the house. Do you remember that one? Yeah. Man, until you watched your parents sing stroking in the house. What I'd be doing would be stroking. Remember that? That was a night. And then they would play Mel McDaniel losing on a Saturday night right after that. McDaniel feeling. McDaniel. McDaniel. McDaniel. So back to it. So I was like, yeah, I mean, so that kind of stuff has been going on. Yeah. But then like, I almost think that, man, I don't know. You just want people to graduate from. But I think a lot, yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's just fun. What are people missing about the song? Yes, it's just that it's just a fun song.

1:47:34It's just a silly song. Who cares? Right. Right. I mean, I can't. What am I supposed to sing every like what song would you want me to sing every time? Well, most people, those people would be like, we want you to die. Yeah. But we want you to get hit in the throat by an errant fastball at the field of dreams when you go with the Ovo next year. That's like Simon Birch's. Did you read that book? Simon Birch. Yeah. So when we book, I read it, I mean, I read that as a kid. World of Corden to Garpe was like one of the first book. Oh, see, I read that. But yes, Simon Birch. I loved it. Prayer for Owen Meaney. Prayer for Owen Meaney. Dude, that's fine. I read it, neither. I got into a couple of John Irving books. He's cool. When I read a prayer for Owen Meaney, I was like, that is the greatest book I've ever read. Because we had to read all the other shit that the schools wanted to read. But man, when I read that, like I never even got that.

1:48:37What was catcher in the ride? I don't even know. I don't even know. And that was part of that day in field of dreams movie part of it. But dude, yeah, a prayer for Owen Meaney was a great book man. And the movie's not that bad. Jim Carrey's in it. People forget about that. He's kind of in the beginning of the movie. Great movie. But. Yeah, that was so good. It's so funny. You said that, man. Dude, I heard a rumor. This is a rumor that I heard. That Jason Aldean said, you only have one American flag in your yard. And then it was made in China. Oh God. Is that true? That is not true. We, uh, we're all square. We're square in the American flag. We're all dude, man. Because he said you only had one in that big old yard. When did he say that? Just telling you what I heard. No, Jason and I, we will have our cross to bear when I see Jason. But, uh, yeah, we're, we, you know, we, uh,

1:49:39now that you say that I do need to count up my American flags. Maybe I need to put a few more out. Yeah, like that's all I'm saying, dude. Just get a couple. I, where are yours? We got a couple out. We got at least two. We got four in the back. I got you. We're on the fire pit. Uh, she's blocking your mom's son, baby. They're not now. Dude, she's taking it down. Oh, she had real small breasts. I was breastfed on a small tip. And I don't know if you ever been through that, but you never get, you never, you never escape that. Catch up. Oh, you never, oh, it's never, never enough in my mouth. You know, it's just that's how it was, dude. If you're breastfed on a damn egg cup, it's just, you can never, you never get where you need to be. Um, I wanted to ask you, uh, I wanted to ask you about something. It's just about parenting. So, uh, uh, I heard that you would take it. You took over helping your sister's children. Is that a story? Yeah. So my sister, and I'm not trying to pry to like,

1:50:41like, I just want to know like about like, what's it like when you take over, like, to help out with somebody else's kids? And what is that kind of like responsibility feel like? And then what does it feel like with the like, in relationship to, uh, like, yeah, just as like as your family continues on kind of some of that. Man, you know, with, with my sister passing away, and then her husband, they had three kids, and they passed away at different times, which was, man, I don't know. I don't know if it's better if they go at the same time or not, you know, you tell them about these, my sister and her husband were lifelong partners from high school. He was, he was my damn hero, you know, and my brother. So my sister went, passed away at home, and then he had like, uh, the massive widow maker heart attack. Well, they had, um, that three beautiful children, two girls and, um, a son, a Jordan,

1:51:42Chris and Teal, Tealden. Well, Teal was 13, and he kind of, he says, he goes, uh, we kind of sat down as a big family, extended family, because they, uh, my, my brother and laws family, they, we'd all been in each other's world from since day one for a long time. God. Very tight. Even when, uh, you know, even when my sister passed away, we were like, we were unsettled on Thanksgiving and we would go to my brother and laws parents house for Thanksgiving. Wow. So they were our damn, I mean, we were all tight. So we all sat down until my nephew goes, I want to come live with y'all, which was just, I mean, man, we had a, we had a, I guess, tape was four, four, six, four, and maybe seven, and then 13. And so my, my two boys got an older brother like that. Wow. And so he's 13.

1:52:44The girls were still in Georgia and they were, uh, Jordan was in her first year of college. And then our middle niece, Chris, she was in her midway through her junior year of high school. He stayed there. So she stayed there. No reason to uproot her until came to live with us. And so, you know, man, we wake up and we're retrofitting. Uh, we were living in our guest house while we were building, uh, our main home. So we retrofitted in the bedroom. And man, you know, it was a lot, you know, he, he's a 13 year old kid that, you got suddenly got a teenager. We had a teenager and man, we've got to deal with, you know, we're dealing with a new kid. But man, we're dealing with a kid that don't understand, that doesn't understand why life has went this way. And we're dealing with two other kids at a long distance. So man, you know, we've just been in the, you know, it's just kind of what you do and you learn as you go. And now, you know, fast forward, uh, the oldest Jordan, she's got two beautiful little

1:53:49boys. I mean, man, they're, you know, I'm gonna treat them a lot of my, they're my grand babies. And then the middle girl, Chris, she's getting married in December. Oh, no. So we'll, you know, we're, she's getting married and till my nephew, he's 24 and man, he's my damn dude. I mean, like, yeah, like we ride, he comes to the house and we like get on a polaris and go ride around and have a beer in the evening. And so, you know, and you know, I look at, you know, when you look at what my wife got, I mean, my wife went from two boys, which, you know, my wife went from managing two boys to like having two older girls that she's trying to fit in their lives. Well, she's, she's on the phone with them and man, they're talking boys, they're talking, I mean, they're talking, what do I do with this boy? What do I do with clothes? What I do at college, man, I mean, I remember she'd be on the phone for hours. One of them would break up, one of them be crying, one of them this. And you know, so it was really honored that

1:54:54we had them to turn to. And then they had a support group down and we also had a support group down there. But man, when I look at how those kids have none of them have wound up with any, any serious like stuff that we've ever had to be like, yeah, get your shit together, you know, we've never had to do one of those. We just have to try to make sure they get the most out of life and understand they got dealt a, you know, they got dealt a weird unfortunate set of circumstances. And then, you know, as I've told my story through the years, I mean, man, I'll come up and there'll be families that if they lost five people in a car, I mean, you know, you can always create a narrative where you got it bad. But then you can go dig deep and you can find some other people that that that had unfortunate. Oh, yeah. There's always some way to be thankful in spaces, you know.

1:55:55Dolly Pardon passed away. Look at the life she lived 80 years old and you know, she just lost her long time husband, you know, heck, she probably was lost since then. I'm not trying to. Yeah. I'm sure. But, you know, everybody's life, I tell people and you've, you've already lived, I mean, just knowing your story, I mean, you've already lived through a lot with personal stuff that you conquered and stuff. Man, and the beauty of your story is you've told everybody that. So when people start, when people start going, man, I'm having a rough patch, but I don't remember when Theo Vaughn said this, this is, you know, you can help people out just by telling your story and then not feeling like they're alone. And I feel like when people hear about me losing people in an unfortunate way, you know, it can help them in the long run. I think transparency, I think, you know, you know, the deal, I mean, everybody thinks that the only one trapped in something,

1:56:55you know, everybody's going through things. Yeah, you try to share what you can from it. To help yourself and help others. It's not like you're trying to help others, but just, yeah, you're trying, yeah, we're all just trying our best to be alive, you know. Well, and I see, you know, like, God, man, I mean, I work, like you're, we're talking about beef prices and stuff. But, man, when I see, I mean, you just see all the stuff going on where different groups and cultures in this country are against each other. Man, it just breaks my heart. I don't wish, wish there was a easy fix to make everybody just be like, yeah, it seems like we should get out. Yeah. Extreme on any side is just not good, in my opinion. Well, just as, as people on the planet as just even a being of God, you're feeling like we, we should all kind of be able to figure this out, you know, all we got to do is just eat, drink, be alive, you know, and then just cut people some slack and golf. Climb tree, baby. Or just go hug it. Can't you go hug a tree and

1:58:05get the frequencies barefooted? Dude, mine would be vape, gym, cry, think, I think. Those have been mine, dude. Why is it? What is it? I think it's vape, gym. Wake up. You're vaping before you wake up. Yeah. Vap up. Vap up. Gym, time, cry, cry. What kind of cries it are? They are nothing heavy. Light, cry. So vap up. Gym, time, cry, light, cry, light. What was the last one? Think probably because I just ended up thinking a lot. I'd probably put pray. Pray more. There we go. See? Should have had you in the room. I don't know. I don't think anybody could have saved vap up. Yeah. Vap up. Vap up. Gym, time, light, cry, light, cry. Pray more.

1:59:09What's up, babe? Man, it's not a bad, you know what? I kind of... We need to have everybody do their for and submit them. People should, now here's what you should do. Now you take the song and you do create some sort of a place where people can go in. Some things about their life and now it can make... In my voice. Yeah. Can do it. Make it for them. That's exactly what we need. Dude, thanks for the chat today, dude. And thanks for this laughter, bro. I like you are hilarious. Well, listen, I can't... That's the first time I've done this with you. And so it took me a little bit to settle in. I mean, it's funny on podcast historically. Man, I have to settle a little bit. It's a different thing with me. Because like... You've got to understand the... I've watched your stuff through all the clips and stuff. So it's like it's so weird to come in and it just starts settling, settling, settling. Then you're like, okay, we're in it now.

2:00:11Now we can start busting each other's balls a little bit. Yeah. But... But yours is so funny. I remember when fishing real hilarious, dude. You're hilarious, bro. People always do. You have me rolling, bro. I think you probably could have been a good comedian, man, if you had wanted to do it. You know, I've thought about... You know, I've got a little file in my phone and I've written some funny stuff. But then, man, you don't want to go up there, not be it and then it not... You'd have been fine, I think. I think, you know, what's funny is when I did Vegas by that time of the show, I'd had a drink or two. I'm on the piano. And man, once I do get a drink and I can interact with fans on the piano, man, I can start really having fun. And I think down the road, I'd love to do that vibe in Vegas. I walk out... I like that. Walk out, have a guitar, piano. Just enjoy... I mean, because not, man, nothing makes me happier than people. Like, I freaking love people. Like, people fascinate me. Yeah. And it's fun. Well,

2:01:16it's what we're here for, you know, is it get to be around other people when some of them are perverts or whatever, but the rest of them. Yeah. And even some of the perverts, I'm finally... But like, were you ever like when somebody was so mean to you, you still wanted... They were mean to you, but you still want to figure out what's going on. You can crack them. Yeah. Like, what can I do to make? Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely fun. Yeah. Like, I think, yeah, being engaged when you're in a good mood and you get out there and you're engaged, you're engaged in what's going on in the show. It's a blast, man. I think you could have done it. I think you still could, man. And also if you had like a Vegas type of show, you just interact and with them. It's a perfect night. That's all I do. That's the way to do it. You have a new album that's coming out. It's coming out September 18th. Yes. Sines and wake up coffee, climb tree, light gym, praymore. That's on there. The Theo version. Yeah. We could do a thought. We could do an AI clock log in, AI putters in there. Yeah. Yeah. It comes out September 18th. Is it you in that

2:02:16horn shirt? That's me, baby. All polished up. That don't even look like you. What does it look like? Theo dammit. Somebody else. I think are you sure that you? It's AI. It is AI. He finally admits it. Luke Ryan. Now that's you on the right. That's me. See, that's all. I didn't get all the wrinkles out of my damn face. What the hell? Look at that left bicep. That thing's popping. That thing's damn. That thing is popping. Boy. God. I like women. But Luke, Brian, Sines, man, we'll make sure to tell me. Well, thank you. I'm glad I finally got in here. We didn't. We'll. Yeah. I've got to come over and fish again. Man. I mean, I'll come as it's hopefully next two weeks. Those are the chill out of it. When it gets, gets a little cooler. They'll bite better. And man, like I said, we've got to get you out of kindergarten. We're getting you. You don't want chicken liver too. That's what I don't want to fish on a McNugget chicken liver's and McNuggets. And these two. There's no,

2:03:19there's no catfish in my pond. Really? We could fish on these though. Fish on them. Fish on now. See. I need a new sponsor. I bet they would work with you. Pay for my fish bill. You need to go to my lakes down south. I'll go wherever, man. I just don't have nowhere to fish. We just have I like, I just don't have anywhere to fish right around here. Exactly. But you know, be about an hour from here, but down my home wall. But you, so he runs so damn you run so high strong, we got to get you in the in the woo saw. Just get down there. So I won't dedicate. Well, you're so big. I get it. But you're like me. You fish like me when I used to get off the road. And I would feel guilty that I'm fishing and I'm not with my boys. So I would go down there

2:04:22and I'd be like, I got a fish. I got a fish. I get a fish. And then I'm like, so you just need to, you just need to plan a day. But you're like, you know what? This is my day. And I'm on fish. And I'm not going to feel like I got to get on the phone at three four zoom call. Hey, man. And book you used to come out. And just let it woo saw. Dang, I don't know. You did woo saw, dude. I'll get in there. Yeah, dude. I got it. What was it? Oh, yeah. What is it? Yeah, he got to get some of that fishing. I know what it is. Like CPR. That CPR when you buddy, when you live alone. I think that Matthew McConaughey stuff. Oh, man. Luke, Brian, thanks so much, dude. I appreciate you, bro. Congrats on the new album. Thank you. And yeah, thanks for being, yeah, thanks for, and thanks for letting me go fish. I appreciate it anytime. Hey, man, whatever gets you decompressed, big dog. Let's get it. Thanks, dude.

2:05:32I can see this. This episode is brought to you by chat GPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about chat GPT work? It's the new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give chat GPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides and structured reports. Get started at chat GPT.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans.