About this episode
Boyle's daughter had her first day of school yesterday and he got a little emotional.
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I'm Quitting Alcohol — 7 Years 113 days - Dadda's Little Girl. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
Alright, you are back with comedian, boyl, and I'm quitting alcohol. So yesterday was my daughter's first day of school, and I was a lot more emotional than I thought I was going to be. You know, occasionally something happens and you get jolted out of your like distracted narcissistic self-indulgent fucking loops and you get bought into the moment and you realize how fleeting like everything is. And if you don't pay attention, you're going to miss everything and my daughter starting school jolted me out of that yesterday.
I was like, this is the start. This is the beginning of the slow yet fucking rapid process of my daughter becoming like a woman eventually. It starts at school and then little by little she'll grow into like a girl and then a teenager and then yeah, and soon enough she won't just be like daddy's little girl just running for hugs. There is actually nothing sweeter for a dad than getting hugs from his little daughter. And you get so you get so caught up in your bullshit, distracted and just fucking focused on rubbish. You sort of miss everything as it's going by and you need to like pull yourself back into it.
And so yesterday was like a massive reality check. It's like, all right, focus on what's important. What's important is only now. That's it. That's all there is. I'm going to wake up in fucking five, six, 10, 15 years and it's going to feel like everything has gone in an eye blink and I don't want to feel like I missed my children growing up. That's for sure. So I'm going to have to actively bring myself back into the moment and just appreciate having my kids as kids because it's not going to be like that forever. My son fucking 10 now. He's starting to get like hair on his legs. My daughter turns six at the end of the month. So there's only like a few years of this special time left.
So I need to soak in as much as I can. Things said that I did just yell at my daughter and she's crying in her room because she couldn't tell the difference between all and at. I'm like, what's this? She's like, at I'm like, no, it's all. She's like, ah, okay. I'm like, all right. So this is all what's this? All this call this wall this mat. No, no, no, it's more, okay. This is all this is ball. This is called this is wall. How could this be mat? And then she just bursts into tears and I'm yelling like a psychopath, but I'm soaking
it in. I'm like, these are the things I'm going to remember the most. Soak in the moment. Daughter in tears. Me furious. The notebook fucking scrunched up. Only a few more years of this joy. And despite how knowing it is at times, it is actually the greatest joy I've ever had in my life is watching my kids grow up. Nothing else has really any significance to me at all. Everything else pales in comparison, but still you can't have your fucking kids running around confusing all with at fuck me. It's not like I just sprung it on her either. We've been going over this for fucking weeks.
All at the two different sounds. Fuck my son. I taught my son to read from pretty much scratch in two weeks. He figured it all out like a fucking mass equation. I was like, SH equals IT equals it. Okay, that's the sound. So whenever you say IT, it's it. Whenever you say SH, it's shh. Okay, put them together. What does it equal? Shit. Yes. A shit time is what I'm going to have trying to teach a fucking sister how to read. I know what she's doing as well. She's deliberately resisting because she doesn't like doing it. And she's deliberately fucking it up so she doesn't have to do it because she knows I'm going to go off my head and send her to the room and then she's out of it. So it's a full battle of the wills out there. A five year old versus me. And most of the time I'm losing. And when I say most, I mean all the time I'm losing anyway.
Oh, fuck it was emotional yesterday, but she had a great day at school and she made a bunch of friends and she was very excited about the whole situation. It was great to see anyway. That'll fucking do it for tonight or today. It is the morning. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and I'll see you the fuck later.
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