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So then Darcy says,
Why don't you love me?
And then Stacey says,
Poodle, Poodle, that was your cue.
What?
Oh, sorry, sorry, oh.
Okay, okay, stop the show.
Girl, are you okay?
You seem out of it
and you've been rubbing your jaw the whole episode.
I thought you had a busy work night.
Yeah, piano cutting into the late hours can be treacherous,
but no, this is not a workplace entry.
I think I'm grinding my teeth more at night.
Oh, honey, you didn't know that?
That's another reason why I can't share a room
with you on tour.
You grind your teeth like you're turning wheat into flour.
Okay, first of all, it's me who won't let you share a room
because your sad and needy energy
would scare off all my suitors.
And second of all, maybe I do have a grinding problem.
I think my dentist may have mentioned it a few times,
but I wasn't listening
because I was looking at myself in the mirror.
Oh, Lord, Poodle,
this is causing you actual physical pain.
Please do something to help yourself.
I'm pleading.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Okay, dramatic, calm down.
You'll be happy to know
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Today, on this episode of RealityGaze,
Forrest and Sheena make the sex tape
that none of us want to see.
And hopefully Emma is gone forever.
And it's another trip to Epcot Center,
Colin, Nigeria.
Eh.
Roll it, Christina.
Hello.
This is Captain Poodle speaking.
Are you ready to find love?
That's a boy, maybe.
Love.
Exciting and new.
Yeah.
The one line.
They're cat-bushing you.
Shocker.
Beyonce.
Sir, you'll be flying to parts unknown.
90-day Beyonce.
Married someone you only met on your phone.
Be they French or Chinese up-rend,
UK one visors the key.
The key to what, Poodle?
To love.
It's reality game, let's love.
Okay, Poodle, it's your favorite, favorite thing.
Close your eyes.
I don't want to do this.
Well, you do it.
Dance, honey.
I don't want to have to close my eyes.
No one, no one who's listening to this in the podcast
gives a shit if I'm closing my eyes.
But this video's on YouTube, stay.
And everybody's going to know on YouTube if you're lying.
Well, I'm going to open my eyes.
Close your eyes, goddamn.
Now, I want you to imagine this.
I hate this.
Imagine that you're in love with some American
who looks like Peter Griffin,
but a hot version of a cartoon character, okay?
And imagine a hot version of that?
I don't know.
What's a hot cartoon male character for you?
Lionel.
Okay, but that came out real fast.
That was really quick.
The Thundercat.
Lionel from the Thundercat.
Okay.
Imagine you...
Or the Robin Hood, the Robin Hood box.
The Robin Hood box.
Okay.
God, what I wouldn't do.
Just pick one.
Just pick one.
I'm going to go for the Robin Hood box.
Okay.
Great.
That is pure sexuality.
You are way laying my question.
Good.
Good.
So Robin the Fox is...
You live in the Philippines.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Okay.
He's coming over to the Philippines, all right?
And his...
But his mother...
Or not that...
That lucky hen...
Oh, that bitch.
Yeah.
That lucky hen...
Ma'am barrier.
Ma'am barrier.
She's coming over to...
To try to convince...
To try to convince Robin Hood to go back to the...
To England, okay?
Push her into the ocean.
Push her into the ocean.
Mm-hmm.
And she started...
And she's worrying, Robin.
And he doesn't know what is...
If you are that person wanting to keep Robin Hood in the Philippines, what is the one thing
that you would do to solidify them staying in your home country?
What?
That's a sure far away.
It is that, ladies...
It's what Aviva's trying to do.
It works every time.
It works every time.
I've kind of thought that you were going to talk about that.
You bang his brains out and then get him fucked drunk.
Well, that goes without saying.
But you need a little more when it comes to his mother.
Well, that's true.
Yeah.
That is true.
Yeah.
I don't even make it off so she's going to slow-boat to China.
Do-do-do.
It never gets home.
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
Sorry.
That's what that fox...
Yeah, we can't.
Y'all.
This is reality face.
We can't y'all, this is reality, I'm Maddie and I'm poodle and I'm very attracted to several
animated cartoons in the past and we're two ridiculous homosexuals.
We love nothing more than tearing reality television a new one.
Yes, and today we are talking about 90 day fiance before the 90 be 90 season eight episode
16 mile high club. So the male, the titles are sexual. Okay. I just have to, I have to bring
this up. They were just not a rammer. Last time was Mayday, Mayday. We're in catastrophe,
it seems like. Yeah. The plane is going down. Yes. But we have time to join the high
club. I totally. I know what they think about this. I think if I was going down and I knew
I was going to die, I would like to die joining the mile high club. So maybe, maybe for you,
it works. I do understand it. But I wouldn't go in the bathroom. I would do it out of the
area. No, well, you know, you see United now has those three seats you can buy a seat and
just lay down. You can just fuck anyone. So you can lay down on a seat. United's doing
the thing. They are not a reality gay sponsor. But they're basically doing a thing now. It
was announced this week. I don't have any loyalty with them starting next week or next
year. They, if you could buy like an economy seat, but if you buy three seats or if there's
three people, like if you're a lot of money, if you're like a mom with two kids, there's
these little things that fold up and it all goes to a flat bed and you have a bed and
can sleep in a row. But think about it. So you cheaper than buying like United first class
lay down like this. I guess so. If you buy, if you buy like you could be you could buy
three four hundred dollar cheap seats to some country and then lay down the whole time.
But your feet will be sticking out in the aisle. Well, you'd have to sleep in a little
fetal position. That's true. I don't think this solves anything. Well, you know, it's
a better marketing thing for them. I like it. It's a little wider for me. I don't like
the thing I don't like about those like first class lay down things. It's a very narrow.
I agree. I heard my elbows and my, my, my hips always hurt from sleeping on my side
on those. God, you're, you're old. Well, I honestly don't now. So now it's just turned
into a big sleep party on the plane where everyone's laid out in cuts. Yeah. Basically drooling
all over themselves. I prefer in their pajamas. Well, I don't prefer that. But people probably
wear, will wear more pajamas. Oh, God, bring, bring on the slumber party. Yeah. In the
plane. What bring your bring your blankies was well. Why not your stuff animals too? Why
not? They even showed like you could have like one row and you could buy the row before
and like your kids could be sleeping on one row and you're behind them and like giving
them treats. One of the plus isn't that one of the perks that your kids are separate
from you for a little bit. I, yeah, I think actually I want to say, you're, you know what?
You're not in the minority. I know that we've got some parents that are, sissy parents that
are listening to that. If their child was old enough and they got upgraded and their
child didn't, they say, see you later, walking. I'm going to let you, you can sit in coach.
My father got upgraded one time and my mother didn't all, well, that was, I can, that is,
he offered it to her. No, she would never do it. He offered it to her and she was like,
no, he needs to sleep more than me. I'm fine. And did she talk about it the entire time?
I've heard about it for years. You know, that son of a bitch got upgraded and I didn't.
I think your mother hates flying. Hates it more than me. And I, but I've got, I've
actually gotten pretty used to it. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. My father just takes anambian.
I hope he doesn't sleepwalk on a plane.
Fran, Fran just take an ambient. Fran just take an ambient. They do work. I'm, I'm sorry,
though. I'm groggy. If the flight isn't like, first of all, I'm, I'm not going to be able to
sleep until there's too much shit going on for the first two hours of a flight. I get too much
shit going on. And then the last hour and a half, then they say we're starting our descent. No,
you're not. You're just turning on the flights. Starting on the flight. All the lights. Yeah.
So you may be got five hours. I'm already grow, I'm going to be groggy from an ambient.
I, I want to hit the ground going if I'm going to be traveling. And then I just run myself
rag in the first day. I like to get early. If I could get in like a good one time, I was able to,
I took a sleep gummy and a trousadone. And I didn't wake up groggy because I only slept like about
like three and a half hours. And boy, that was golden. I like hit the ground running. I'm so glad
this wouldn't be a good place for you to share your recreational meds.
Well, hey, Poods, can we do some schedule stuff before we start recording? When are we interviewing Emily
again? Emily, who's Emily? Not the girl who threw the burger on Lalo. No, you know, Emily, she's
with the Australian guy, you know, the one with the buddy, Adi, Adi, Adi. Elise, you mean Elise
from B90. That's what I said. Oh, and when are we going to do secret Mormon SaltWive City?
Okay, you're saying words, but they don't mean what you think they mean. Medi, are you all right?
You seem more often usual. Okay, fine. I'm a foggy mess. Is that what you want to hear?
I'm still exhausted from our trip. And then the blizzard and not winning an ambi and missing out on
meeting Channy, the astrologer, and it's a mercury retrograde. I just want MacPepers and Dr.
McDonald's. You know what? I'm going to let you have that one. Sissy, do you ever feel like Maddie
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best price. Anyway, there's a great, they're not a sponsor, but a sissy told me about an app
called TimeShifter and it's great if you're traveling abroad. You should be a sponsor.
They should be. Actually, I'm going to reach out. Where are we? Now things are sexual.
Now things are sexual. So we go from Mayday survival to sex to my high club. So then what should
episode 17 be next week? Black box. Clean it up the debris. Black box recovery initiated.
We do want to mention that our our tried and trusted and very tried. Bless our heart producer Christina.
Watch this episode before us. So she gave us some time codes a moment. She wanted us to record
our reaction videos and we did. So if you need to know when those are, then you've got to follow us
on social media or you can follow us on YouTube and it'll be on YouTube short on TikTok or on
Instagram. So reality podcast. So check that out. We have a few announcements. Okay. Before we,
before we start, before I went on that long diet, try about how to sleep on a plane or how not to
sleep on a plane. Robin, it good. It took you out of Robin. Yeah, I got you. Rowling. Okay.
Yeah, there's so many really. I never want them to make a live action of that. Leave it alone.
I really liked the BBC one. No, I meant that I was on BBC America. No, the dizz, like the way
they just came out with the new Moana trailer. Oh, no, I hate all those. I mean, all those cash
grabs. I'm so over them. Disney. Remember with Disney made new shit. Oh, this is starting to sound old.
They were like old old people screaming. Remember they had an imaginary department. I don't think
they're imagining shit anymore. They're just saying, what can we recycle? Yes. Let's go smoke a
bowl in the basement. Exactly. They don't. Anyway, Moana looks fine, but it looks just like the
animated movie. Make it different. The less said about that stitch from Lilo and Stitch nightmare
fuel the better. Well, God, that freaked me to fuck out. Freak you out.
I love tangled and I'm not even happy that they're doing it. Although I am going to see
a little camera man. Hi, I'm son. Well, not yet. No, what's her name? Be the Donna Keckney role.
The mom. Oh, Catherine Hahn. Yeah, I will watch her do that as Mother Gothel. Yeah.
And you're going to go with me to that because that's going to be draggy.
I like that movie. I love to that movie. Yeah.
We are who's who's the who's the female star? I know it's my love and I'm and I think it's
like her name's like Taylor kitchen. Okay, that's not her name. Taylor Kitchens. I don't know
it's Susan. Susan. There's not a young star named Susan. Susan. That's my name is Susan.
I'm 13 years old. Susan who's 13.
Yeah, what's Susie? I was close. Oh, I actually really like her. It's Teigen Kroft.
I don't know who that is. I loved her because she was, she played Raven in the HBO show DC's Titans,
which I loved that show. Loved it, loved it. There's so many comic book shows that I go,
that doesn't sound like a real show. Oh, I love Titans. They all they all come really quickly
and they all get canceled after like one season. They really wonder man just got renewed for
a second season. Oh, good. They really fucked over Wonder Girl though on time. Killed her off and
never came back. Is that a real show? Titans. Yeah, it was on. No, what is I thought Wonder Girl?
Well, Wonder Girl is a character of Titans. Okay.
Teen Titans. They're like the Justice League, but for teenagers. I feel God, I'm going to be single
for a long time. We got to go. What's the next fuck an announcement? Wow.
We were on, we said this before, but it's airing really soon. We think it's airing the third or
the fourth of April, maybe. We were on GoFact yourself with Keith Benz, sorry, J. Keith Benz,
right? And Helen Hong. And guest star Stacey Keenan, who is a Sissy? This is the pod, but doesn't
watch the shows. Doesn't watch no day. Doesn't watch any of the shows we cover. She just listens and
then kind of she's like, I like to think about and imagine what these people would be like.
I'm going to say this, Stacey, if you're listening, you have not fully fully, whatever you could
imagine for Lisa, it would never actually come to compare with the original. Oh, yeah, I think
you need to see Lisa in those weeks. I think you do. I think you do. What a,
oh, yeah. What a great, great. We had a lot of fun. And we had who was, who was the little
the kid there with us? Drew Lynch, with the comedian. I don't know if he's a little kid. I think
he's probably like 20. A younger, well, maybe 26. Hey, Siri, how old is the comedian? Drew
Lynch. I would eat him for breakfast. Okay. You were, it was, yeah, he's 34 years old.
And you were the perfect age. You were creepy with him. It was you. I'll rub his back a little
bit in a circular motion. You were so flirty. He is not homosexual. I don't care. When did that ever
matter to me? Y'all, he used to be the stuttering comedian because he had a thing that happened and
he started stuttering. But now he's overcoming a lot. And that was so fascinating that it wasn't
a stutter from, he got a head injury. Yeah, he talks about it on the show. We're not. But
that's, I'm just bringing it up. Y'all, he was on I think America's got talent. Really funny.
It's a great episode. We're tied for you. I just had to see it was really kind of interesting
watching an NPR game show live. That was, I've been such a fan of those for so long and how slick
they are. And then we were watching. And then like they'll say something and they'll, they'll,
they'll, they'll catch themselves and they'll do it wrong. And they'll edit it, obviously,
to where it feels just so seamless. And I went, oh, that's how they do it. Yeah, it, I knew they
have. And in my head, I knew they did it that way. But to see it, to see it was very different. I
forgot what a huge crew they have. And honestly, probably for private radio, like it's serious,
or this is probably a small crew because this is public radio. And they're like seven people,
they're crew almost. Yeah, there was so many people working on this show. It was truly.
It was so much fun. We were honored to be there. We were. We were honored to be there. And I
didn't say fuck once. You, but I wanted to. You almost cussed one time. What was it?
Yeah. You know what part I'm talking about because I could see it in your eyes. I told back.
And you kind of like. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, because I think you're going to say give a shit. No one
gives a shit. And you were like, yeah, no one gives a fig. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Something like that.
I couldn't give a fig. It's good practice for you. Yeah. I didn't like it.
Didn't like me and didn't like not saying fuck. We'll get you to it if you want to be on mainstream.
Although, I'll just beat me. They're just don't beat me. Although I do love that you can say
fuck on the British version of Saturn of the UK Saturn outlive. What did you watch? I watched
the monologue. Yeah. Um, but they admit. Well, no, I don't, I didn't want to, I haven't had time.
But um, the monologue was great. But that's what they talk like you see Tina Fey if they're saying
fuck. And I went, Oh yeah. It's fucking. They don't care. God, I love Tina Fey. I don't do.
Um, you know, Tuesday here at reality, yes, is YouTube steak? No, it's you to say
for the whole day. I have to say it once. I have to say it at least once. Well, yes, it's
you. And that said, right, the food steak. Well, I would like to brand it so people will remember the day.
You Tube's day. They remember the day not food. Tuesday. I'm just trying to like get people
to watch and listen to us. Tube steak is a penis. You will completely sabotage your own self
to promote your own good. I will. You will, you will be the reason we will. I need sabotage
everything. It's why I really got to start doing other things. Whenever you just burn this ship up.
It's a compulsion. It's really bad. I want to give in to it. Yeah, she thinks that's kind of
untouchable. Okay. She thinks there's a lot of stuff that's just I need to just like I'm
always going to do it. No, she described certain things of self-destructive. And I'm like, what do you
mean? What's next? Any other announcements? I think that's it. You're on cameo. I'm not.
But it's not become at me on cameo. I haven't
doing a lot of pep talk and all kinds of shit people. It makes me feel good that people need
a pep talk. So and it's been fun. Good for you. It's hot in here. Let's go.
Forest in China. I would have preferred watching this whole thing on 1.5 speed.
The sex talk. Everything about it. It just gave me the energy of an after school special talking
about sex and having it. I wanted to claw my skin off. Didn't like it. Didn't like.
You know what? I I much prefer watching I would rather watch them than watching Tony and Angela
kiss on love after lock up. That's disgusting. Yeah.
Disgusting. And also I think I would rather watch them than watching Lisa attack Daniel's face
and with the camel kissing as I call him. This is the clumsy banter. Like she's like don't know
how to sex talk. So they're going to the batangas, which is near the beach. And she's like, I'm
afraid of jellyfish. And so he says I didn't bring the jelly. This is what I'm talking about.
As anyone who's into comedy, it is painful to watch this response would be
I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Exactly. Something like that. That's the joke.
And so what is your mom think about her having sex? She's like, well, I'm sure she'd be
right there. And I went, that is not. I got to say a forest. Don't quit your day job.
What doesn't have one? Have we done this in Sarpur show?
Oh, we have no. Y'all saw Sarpur in Pasadena. He did post like he said these two are picky
and they and they hate everything. He's not wrong. Well, I think we did say, we said,
we're picky about stuff like this. You did a post because we did a post about it talking
about how much we loved it. The show was really funny. And yes, it did feel like some jokes were
written in 1997. Sure. But I was and no, but like, yes, but it was original. And there was a lot
of unique material in there. It comes from though is part of it. So that's why it made sense.
It didn't feel like somebody doing a hacky joke. He was really and the physical comedy was great.
He was great. We were really worried when we heard it was a 90 minute set. And then he did,
there was 15 minutes of an opener and Sarpur did 75 minutes. And I was never bored. I was never
looked at my phone. I remember I checked a couple times. The longest set I ever did when I
did stand was like 15 minutes. And I worked on that forever. So to see that he did a fucking 75
minutes set as a headliner. And it was funny and it was structured. It was structured really well.
As a comedian, I like, I appreciate he had the way he wrote his jokes, the way he built. He's
a great storyteller. A lot of you also have asked, she kind of was not there. She was not there.
To me sucks because she was literally 20 minutes away. It was his first headlining show in
Los Angeles. But whatever. Maybe she had, I don't know. Maybe she had an appointment.
She just got her hair cut off. It looks cute. I like it. It's a little too PC for me.
I like she got a pretty neck. I like it. Pretty neck. She got a pretty neck. I would say,
if you get a chance to go, it's a fantastic comedy set. All the Oklahoma set is dead on. I was,
like, it took me at least 20 minutes about Oklahoma. It was so fucking fantastic. Yeah. Totally,
totally, I'm not, I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass y'all because I would, I would have,
you know, you know, I have a note about everything. I thought it was great. And he's not paying us
to say this. No, he said he wants to come on the show actually when we met him afterwards.
Yeah. So it's great. I don't worry, though, if it comes on the show, because guess what,
when we walked off, I'm like trying to wrangle someone who probably had too many martinis.
He was a hot person. There we go. And then he was like, and then you started bouncing around,
like kind of like, poodle when he gets horny. He walks around like a cat circling. It's
it's gross. It's gross. Yeah, start calling it my scratch and post. We did see a few sissy's there
that said hi. That was nice too. Yeah. Thank you for remembering that. We had a really wonderful time.
I'd say if he comes to your town, go. You will not be disappointed. It's totally worth it.
Agreed. I want to also point out the types of music used in these segments. First of all,
when they're going there, there's this what I can only call home alone music. It did sound like
home alone music. It feels I don't know. It feels like they're making fun of them.
I tell clumsy everything. A little. She comes out with lingerie. And there's a ball ball ball ball.
But I always thought my first time would be extravagant and amazing. Strange choice of words.
But I wondered if that's he then he said I wonder if that's one of those things that other people
have that I never get to have. But the way he said that it reminded me of sex in the city.
And I wondered. And I wondered. Imagine Peter Griffin. Yeah. When I lose my Virginia,
will my legs be wet? Okay. This was graphic at one point. Well, before we get there,
before we get there, they go, can we say the room? The towel is a sperm, right? I don't know.
I did not say I did not see it. There was a towel folded decoratively on the fish. I think
it was supposed to be a flower, but it just looked like a sperm. A sperm almost entering an egg.
A spermata zoa. Yeah. I think sperm is the plural. What's the singular? A sperm. I guess sperm is
the singular as well. I think it's a. Hey, Siri, what's the singular? I don't want to ask her.
I don't want to ask that bitch. Well, I did. So you didn't it fucked it up. He comes, she comes in,
he's got a condom in his mouth. What now, what I do appreciate they're having
say and recognize what it was. I was like, what's that? You're like trying to match the visual.
But haven't seen that in a little. And I don't know if we had condoms just thrown around to
see where we know two people are going to have sex, right? Right in the next frame.
And so he went, you're going to have to get help me get this on. I love the frankness of it.
And then I kept saying, he takes your shirt off and then I started screaming, writing down,
please get the cameras out. Please, I can't watch anymore. And then the next thing happens.
Well, the thing happened. It's the next morning. He said, glad we didn't break the bed.
And he said, you turned me out. And then I puked between my legs. And he says, she thought it was
very special. Then he says, I'm not a virgin anymore. And this is way better than my hand retiring
my hand. He said, I thought it'd be more magical, but it was actually very sloppy.
When you got on top and started going, I felt like I was going to need a life
preserver not to drown. I went holy shit. Well, it's a lot of build up for her too. And then she
said, he said, she hopped on top of me and showed me who's boss. Maybe she's a squirtor like
Trish. Should have brought my rick's tarp. So far as his last night, you became my wife. And
if I go back now, I won't have you. And this has me even more committed to stay with you. And boy,
his mother's nothing connects, nothing connects. She like keeping somebody up all night,
banging their brains out. It's next day. It's kind of removed. I'm just thinking about my breakfast.
If I haven't kicked them out earlier, great. You're going to have sex the next time. And it's going
to be fine or better or worse. And then you're going to have sex in a week. And it's going to be fine
or better or worse. Okay. Forest, it's just a drop in the bucket. That's what I'll tell you.
And the people who you think you're going to get the best sex with are never the ones.
And the ones who give you the best sex are never the ones you can hold on to.
I thought you have to let them slip through your fingers. You fucked a lot of bad boys.
I'm saying, though, you can't hold on to those. No, but you knew that some of those bad boys
were going to be there. Yeah, but you never know the one that actually never know you knew. Yeah,
you never know. But you kind of know, but also you're thinking, I'm going to push back. I think
you know. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah. But also sometimes it's too much. It's it's it's almost too much
to go through. They make you jump through too many hoops. And I'm not interested in jumping through
a lot of hoops. Maybe during the sex act, I'm interested in jumping through
hoops. Well, let me get a penis. When we get older, we are tired of the hoops.
When you're younger, that's what kept you going. We're the hoops. Possibly,
possibly, possible, very possible, very possible.
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Can we go on to listen to Daniel? I don't want to. Oh my god, we ought to go.
Yo, whatever we could say about what happened here, and the actor who they
definitely hired to play the Oracle at Delphi. My favorite thing that I ever heard was child
of the white man. Remove your shoes. Child of the white man.
Yo, we even talked about like we're not even doing a theater or anything because nothing can
talk. Nothing could convince it. What was here? This is going to go down in the, in the
anal's of 90-day multiverse herstery for sure. A true, another episode in Epcot Center,
Colin, Nigeria. Because that's what this is. I've said before, this is like a imaginary Nigeria
where there are, this is, this is another version of Epcot Center where we see an Oracle
who has drawn things white marks on his boobies who comes out like Papa Smurf
and screams and then spits all over it. Now, I'm not saying that what he's doing doesn't have
kind of is not wrong. It's done in a way in the same way as when I was, when I went to
Gatlinburg and you would see indigenous people dancing around doing a rain dance.
And then I would think, I don't know if that's how it was done.
Well, in the specific clothing, but for an audience of white people, that's what it felt like.
It's not saying this wasn't, that wasn't rooted in certain traditions, but this guy was a great actor.
He was. He was, he is. Yeah, Elder, that's just all that I call him. He was an Oracle.
He kept saying, yeah, because the elders, no, you, I think you're, you're, you're right.
It's different. The elders, the elders and chief priests. That's the other people who are getting
a cut of the money. Yeah, they, they told him that to go to the Oracle who was this guy to do a
cleansing, but first you have to buy a goat, two yams and bring lots of money. The third part is
I love it when he looked at Daniel and said, and now it is time for you to present our time
honor, traditions. Yes. And then he just put in more. Give till it hurts.
Like they said at the church of Christ, I remember that I was, I went to spend the night
with someone and then we went to the church of Christ the next day and we were told,
give till it hurts, y'all. Give till it hurts. Okay. I don't think that's a little. What is
going to go to a new church sign that says God makes you turns? Probably. Anyway, so he says it used
to be that the goat was slaughtered, but not anymore. And the priest will feed the tribe with the
goat's milk and listen, it has to be female like me. And he's like, but what are the yams for? And he's
like, I don't know. It's what the ancestors demanded. I have a feeling that yams like gas
are expensive these days. So if you want to make a meal, if you want to make a meal, yeah,
stuff some big old yammies. They're huge. So at one point, what do you think of her stepping in
and saying, Daniel, you're not a haggle with them. You have to haggle. It's this country.
Shut up. First of all, you're wearing the most inappropriate footwear to walk in all this anyway.
And you know better. So I don't trust your common sense. She's like, no, I'm not paying
over a hundred dollars for a goat. It doesn't know what fuck she's doing. No, no. And he like,
they were, she paid six dollars for two giant yams that Daniel alluded to looks like his dick.
And he's right. Yeah, it's big day. So they're leading the goat won't stop making
noise. It's adorable little goat. And it's wearing this little skirt that they have to take
off later. I believe that is for the cleansing. Yeah, it is. But it looks like a little goat skirt,
didn't it? It was a goat skirt. It was a goat skirt. They ended up paying $45 for a goat. I
thought that was pretty good. I mean, in your haggling experience, the goat said a Nigeria
market, you can get that if you bought a goat in Oklahoma. I bet you at least pay several
hundred dollars. I'm not very up on the price of goats. Hey, Siri, how much is it to buy a goat
in Oklahoma? Let's see what it says. So oh my god, it said pay about $50. Oh wow, wow.
I think they got screwed. I think they got screwed. Now you can get your own goat from Oklahoma
for $50. Yeah, $50. $5,000. So they're just leading around the goat. The priest is
meanwhile painting himself. Yeah. And that's where you have the immortal phrase, child of the white
man. Remove your shoes. Remove your shoes. And she goes, he's yelling every day. Yo,
what is that? What's he saying? The brain is scared. I just love that the subtitles were
incantations. And they was starting to ring a bell. He's like, just as I thought. And then he
goes, ha, the great Oracle is talking. It really felt like the Wizard of Oz or something like
did feel that in the same way that it's spectacle for nothing. Yeah, again, these might be
rooted in traditions, but I have a feeling these two aren't the people that I think this is more
of a performance. Yeah. And so he's spitting out things. And all the while, y'all, Poodle said it
already, but the whole time he's doing this, what you hear? This goat is freaking out. And she's
like, I'm about to be cursed. And then tell me while you're here, we're going to cleanse
him. He's like, well, you have wronged the land. And she has been committed. And then Lisa
is so dumb. She went, hey, Ellen, drinking it spit, but somehow he knows exactly what I did. And
that I'm the one that's cursed because they told him earlier, you moron.
They had a briefing ceremony with him. Daniel, the uncle, the prince, all the, they're all in on it.
This con, this is this goes to the outer reaches of the government. I know it. It's a great, you
got to say, it is a stupendous con. It's a great show. Yeah. God. So they say and he points at Lisa
goes, you are the one. I've poured it and I've seen it. And I'm like, who is this man? It's like,
he's my husband to be. And you know what? They take the skirt off the goat. And they're cleansed
and they get married. But the money and the thing, did we ever see anything that happened with the
yams? No, that's for his dinner. Ah, yeah, I did like it when Lisa said, this is some voodoo magic
shit. And again, that is that is extremely ignorant because voodoo has nothing to do with this.
Nothing to do with this. Yeah. And the thing about it is voodoo has obviously roots in Africa,
but voodoo as we know it was in Haiti and New Orleans and places like that. That's, that's,
it was when voodoo combined with when African traditions combined with Catholicism,
I do say and voodoo and Catholicism were who do is Protestant. Yeah.
Um, yeah. So this is just ignorance. And then, and then he's like, then this off this crazy
music, they can now get married. And she goes, can we have sex? He goes, why not? Why not?
And then they French camel kiss. And he kisses with his eyes open. Oh, yeah, that was really
disgusting to me. Yeah. So my question is, where do we go from here? Where do we, I'm not going to
see it. Um, well, like you said, I think we go to meeting the elders, but what is that going to do?
It's just another, another, like you said, another thing she has to give money for.
Another part of the show, Daniel's going to think of some other thing to stress her out,
to make her think that she has to work for it. And also mark my words. There will be a moment
where he has to quote, do something or save something and make her feel like she was chosen.
And then he saved her. Hmm. That's how this cons got to go. I'd like, he'll be in front of the
elders and maybe he said, no, no, I will announce my tribe. If you don't let me, I don't know,
he's going to make some grand spectacle. Yeah. And she's going to go, he really loves me.
And then she's going to go back and she'll never hear from again. Well,
don't find somebody else. That's the deal is I don't think the cons going to carry through
because I don't think Daniel's dumb and he realizes she don't have no money. That's the thing.
I think he's realizing her money is running out. Um, and that's not the type of person he wants
to be with. Also, from what we see next week and this just reinforces the gay rumors,
he don't like to eat pussy. Yeah. He maybe that's going to be a bridge too far.
It was for us too far. That was my bridge too far. That was, yeah, that was,
that's a lot of kids like, yeah, nothing wrong with it. Just not for us.
You're when you're down there and you're like,
here we go. There's no business like showbiz. You're just singing it in your head.
Just something to disassociate. A little swirl.
I just kind of like, no, I put my, I gave it like my nose like Eskimo kisses, you know,
and maybe a butterfly kiss. I don't, yeah. Yeah. So, um, scared me too much. I just couldn't do it.
So that was my bridge too far. I don't think he's going to, yeah, y'all heaky. He's got a gay feel
to me too. Yeah. Let's, let's move on and talk a little bit about Emma. And I think this is
officially it. I think this is Emma's last show. Hope. Celebrate to God that this is it. Wow.
I'm, she's got her bags. Everything's packed. And she's like, uh,
my bags are packed. And I'm ready to go. I'm leaving for this Morocco.
She is what this US now. She's leaving. And she said she got a text from her ex who was like,
I was your plan B. I'm not your plan B. And so basically she's like, I don't believe any of this.
I don't know either. But even so she's like, oh my god. He made me jump through all those hoops and
blah, blah, blah. Jets pick. And I went, you mean like you just did to exactly. Yep.
Yeah. Or you did or you did to him. Yeah. No reason. Uh, three hours later, she's, she's
making us stop and there's the ad. I wonder what production had to do to get him back here.
Pay him. Yeah. A lot of money, I think. Yeah. I think that's basically my pay.
Because you can tell y'all he is done. And then she says, I just wanted to leave Morocco and
peace after both of these failed relationships. Okay. But the first one with Muhammad was already
done. Right? Yeah. You, you consider that one done. Yeah. But you still brought the ring.
And it's so stupid because she wouldn't be here talking to Ziyad if she had met Muhammad and,
and they would have gone to dinner and then followed back in love and then they're together,
then she wouldn't, she does, that's the thing about her. She is a so emotionally cut off from
our own self, but also she see, at least it seems like she doesn't give a shit about anyone.
But herself. Yeah. Or was this all just to be on television?
Even more realistic, caring about herself and not caring about who she uses to be on television.
That's how this felt for me. That's why I really believe she's been in one of the most
ineffective cast members in years. Well, I really believe this is a dangerous step for
this show. Well, the problem is because she is so emotionally cut off from herself.
That's the last thing you need of a reality star. You need a reality star who has a vulnerability.
And even if their emotions aren't necessarily healthy or whatever, but they still can access
that so we can have a window into their psyche. The interesting thing is, do you,
don't even notice this, but she keeps saying every time someone will help her and she's supposed
to be devastated. She's like, thank you so much. And that, yes, she's trying to be polite,
but that veneer is complete. That that veneer is what is helping us understand you.
Yeah. It's keeping us from understanding who you are. And now you're actually.
And she's a terrible reality show contestant. I hope we never see her. She just really is.
Yeah. And it's not that it's not that I think you have to like someone on this show because I don't
like Lisa, but she's fantastic. Yeah. I never liked Angela. But Angela would be dramatic.
She did what she did on the show. Yeah. But here's the issue. There's no, there's no stakes at all.
Yeah. And you don't have to be likable, but you have to be able to show some vulnerability.
We don't not a fan of him, but I got to give it. Ed knows how to make TV.
Oh, that's why I keep asking that. Yeah. He makes big stakes.
Um, so we've seized the ad and she's like, he's like, I wish you a good road. That's all I have
to say. She's like, what? You don't want to say sorry? So then that's what she wanted.
So then you know that she did not go to make peace. No, she wanted sorry from him.
She wanted to win. And she wanted him to say sorry when she wasn't planning on saying sorry
at all, when she's the one that acted so horribly. Yeah. And she's like, I came here because you
loved you. Did you ever love me? She has the nerve. He's like, well, I wasn't love with you,
but you came here and then it was real and then nothing really worked out.
And she's like, so thanks for everything. Bye. And then she says, I just expected him to care more.
But did you? That's what I wrote. I wrote, but what if you cared more? What would that be like?
Yeah. Then she has the nerve to have some type of, this has been a real learning experience
about what I don't want in a relationship. I wonder if she could actually say more.
Then like what she says she doesn't want. There's no depth to her. She can't access that emotional,
like you said, vulnerability. And she so much. So I think it's yes a choice, but also there's
a disassociation with her. Yeah. And she cannot connect to her emotions. Something happened
on the way to heaven. I would love to talk to the producer of this segment because you know,
it was very frustrating trying to get her actual feelings. Yes, but I agree. I think the
Mohammed thing was completely made up. Yeah. This was I know without being a dead horse,
this was one of the most unsatisfying stories in a really long time because I just could not
get into it. And every time the same vibes as me. You know what though? Then we got more from them.
At least she was vulnerable. That that was different though because that was twisted in a way.
Well, we were not going to see them anymore. No, but that was so fucking twisted. But I hated it for
the same reason. Also, it made because he was more of a personality. He was an asshole. Yeah.
So she's like, I'm not giving up. I'm a helpless romantic. I'm going to become the best version of
me blah, blah, blah. I know my person does exist somewhere in the world. This isn't the end of my
journey. This could all happen tomorrow or on the plane. All these were things that she was given
to say by a producer. Wow. Wow. We will never, Emma, I will not think of you again. Yes, let's
talk. I can honest, I can honestly say that after you leave our screens, I will never think of you
again. No, I agree. Yeah, that's the show. That is the episode for today. But Poodle, is it the end of
our podcast? It's not because we've got to call us. Remember, if you want to call us, join the
$15 tier of RG Plus, you get an email. You get an email or a post number with the number in the
password and password. Yes. We don't know what you're going to say. So here we go. I get nervous
every time, every time. Hello, boys. This is Cissy Buchensee. And a little PSA for all of our
Cissy's. In one week's time, I'm going to be undergoing a total hysterectomy. I'm only 32.
I don't have any kids. I have endometriosis. Pretty fucking bad. And PEOS.
And I've tried to have a baby with my husband for about seven years. But it's all good. We're
going to adopt. But basically, I just wanted to tell Cissy's with PCOS and endometriosis that
this is not a death sentence. There is help out there. There are doctors out there who will listen to
you. I'm going to be calling back with a March callus, whenever I'm recovered from my endo, or maybe
I'll even call in when I'm high off the protocol or whatever. Please, please. I'm just, I'm really
relieved and excited to have a doctor and a team who listens, who have listened to me. And I
just really wanted to share this with my fellow Cissy's. And with you guys, because I know you guys
care about women and about women's issues and reproductive issues as a whole. And so, like I said,
it's a week out from today. So now I'm going to go get some dick. I'll see y'all later. Revive.
Yes.
Oh, Cissy Bacchini.
But I think that's so sweet of her to think about other Cissy's. And what a way to say
she's so relieved now that she found someone to listen to her and who takes it seriously.
I know we've had, we have like friends who have PCOS and endometriosis. It's a
really hard to feel like your body's against you.
Yes. Yeah. I love what she said that for Cissy's out there. I hope you remember what she said.
This is not a death sentence. Yes. Yeah. So and I'm so glad that she's like, there's more we can do
I'll adopt. And you know, even if you don't, if you decide that's the end of your,
you know, pregnancy journey or whatever, like that, that's fine too.
But yeah. Wow. We're thinking about you, Bacchini. And any other Cissy's going through that.
We know it's a journey. So yeah. Well, what a wonderful way to think we've gone from Robinhood to
Cissy's saving Cissy's. Sure. Something like that.
All right, everybody. Thank you all so much for listening or if it's Tuesday or thank you so
much for watching or if you're on the $15 tier, the video tier, you get both videos of the show
on Sunday night. We want to remind people to poodle. What's easier than you? Apple subscriptions,
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they support our show and enable us to do what we love to do. All right, everyone. We call
these people lonely hearts because aren't we all just lonely hearts looking for love and all
the wrong places. Yes, and if your husband keeps track and dirt into the house, just look at him
one night and say, child of the white band, remove your shoes.
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Reality Gays with Mattie and Poodle



