A bribe, a Tom Jones obsession and some hidden Easter Eggs!

0:00Coming up on this week's episode of Shagmari Noid, we are chatting different parenting tactics chatting or arguing about the latter bit of both Clones Easter eggs We've got loads of beef and voice notes and questions from you lovely lovely lot. Hope you enjoy it Spring styles are at Nordstrom Rags stores now and they're up to 60% off stock up and save on rag and bone made well Vince all sings in more of your favorites Why do we rock for the hottest still? There's so many good brands join the Nordic Club to unlock exclusive discounts Shop new arrivals first and more plus buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free great brands great prices That's why you rack This episode is brought to you by Nespresso Introducing Virtua up the latest and a long line of innovation from Nespresso It's innovation you can touch sense and taste in every single cup

1:00With a three-second start easy open lever and dedicated brew over ice button It's even easier to enjoy your coffee your way zip for yourself shop virtue up exclusively at nespresso.com Hello you all listening and you watching if you've got the YouTube the Chris and Rosie Ramsey The YouTube the YouTube listen go on the Google find the YouTube and Watch watch the videos. Hi welcome to the podcast. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. The world is Shit currently, but we are here to hopefully bring you a little bit of light Just take your mind off it just take your mind off it cheer you up. Yeah, I look in the I look in the chart You're the day. Yeah, and there was me and you and Robin Josh. Yeah holding up the masses. Yeah, I've just Just keeping it light. Just keeping it lighthearted try try my best. It's all just news and politics It was all amongst News and politics, which I was actually listen to I've listened to news podcasts on a Think you think you're hard day. Yeah, I know

2:01In fact that would drop some knowledge bombs are you and all facts and figures? Yeah, but then I go on Instagram And I don't know what to do anymore. Of course, I know what to be on what I mean is Jim Carey real There's the first thing we can talk about. Oh that put you know what it is, right? You said this didn't you this morning? I'd be fucking devastated if I'd just paid a shit load of money You get me eyes lifted and me me me chicken plants and whatever the fuck else he's had done and then for people For people to not only outwardly say you look weird, but the literally question whether it's fucking you are a clone Like what I did say though. I think if it is right it'd be something that he would do. Yes. Yes, but he knows again Miss quote, you know in the future alright if it turns out it was his clone slappers on the wrist. I'm wrong But I don't think it is I think it's just had a bit fill out. He's put on a bit weird on his face. You might be doing a role You don't know what or guess what Chris guess what? He's just aged. Yeah Maybe he's tried to stop it. I don't know what fucking hell like you imagine

3:01Imagine getting like I don't know like on our level like imagine like I don't know get a haircut Get a haircut or get any hair died. I got you I'm sick of the little grey bits on the side of me here. I get me hair died Right and then someone goes I go I turn up with something. I don't know comedy awards and people are like that's That's a fucking clone of him. That's a nut. I'm like Shouldn't have shouldn't have got that hair died. Shoulder. That was a fucking mistake Yeah, it always makes us laugh though when someone isn't in the limelight for a while Mm-hmm, and then the put pictures. Can you believe is it what it's 20 years later? Yeah, like people Change the fray. Yeah. Yeah, they did want. I think what's the one I saw while ago? It was jetley Remember jetley the guy who did the all the The the film like the martial arts films. All right. Okay, I don't remember he was a sort of next one after Jackie Chan kind of like martial arts to all his own stunts like, you know I'm just just just your own while I'm talking Absolutely fine unbelievable fucking just your own is openly just your own isn't it me fierce? No, I'm sorry I've been away since five a.m. Right. Yeah five o'clock in the morning. Yeah, because

4:06I decided I have children stupid what a stupid idiot. I am So yeah, sorry, I've been I'm really tired the day. I've just been up too early, man I just got a miss a miss just like being able to stay in bed. Yeah But then when you do you feel guilty when you got kids. That's a thing you go on have a day in bed You feel fucking terrible. I know I can't enjoy Relax, I'm on two at the minute right and sometimes we're not checking out the hotel still 12 o'clock I can't fucking stay still. What? No, I got it. I've been fucking brightened the other day and I walked around brightened It was fucking raining maybe one one time because I've definitely rang it 11 o'clock and you've been in bed No, absolutely not absolutely have 11 o'clock in bed and you're crazy. Yes. Yes. Where was that? I don't know It has happened I had breakfast and everything. No, not not not on this tour not on this tour No, no, no, no, I don't believe you. Right then. What time are you getting up like ten? 9 o'clock I think some way out But listen all I'm saying is you can't lie in bed. You feel bad even if you give yourself a day

5:07God you go I could be chilling, but I just like no I just walk I'm not no slugging bright enough here But I just walk around and just fucking walk because I'm like I should be moving. I should be doing something It's gets ingrained in you. Yeah, I don't think them two little tosses who we live with right where children love them The death tosses they're gonna be teenagers in bed and not getting up in mid-day or whatever and we are gonna be Conditioned through years and years of being woke up Saturday mornings. Me and you be up seven o'clock Fucking part-run around they'd be like what you do and I'll be like you fucking did this Yeah, she would join the park run No, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh Oh, no, I think we're doing too much We drink too much to join something that early running as a solitary affair I don't understand people going running in groups. I've never understood. No, do you want to go running? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? How many do you want to go with 20,000? Wait? No, I'll I'll put Netflix on a Yeah, really I don't like be I don't like being on a busy pavement Yeah, they say well on the peloton when they say you should be able to hold a conversation I'm like I don't want to have a conversation right now conversational pace

6:09I want to just concentrate on me breathing doesn't exist do all these stuff By the way, what I was going to say was that did eight you cut us off They did it with jet-lead ages ago They did a photo of him like from one of these films off like the early northeast and then a photo of him someone had spotted him now and they're like He's aged Yes, yes, he's aged It's just because you're famous. It doesn't mean you don't age. I mean some people are aged incredibly some people Yeah, of course and as well. We've spoke about this before. I think people think that once someone's famous They have to just be famous forever like they never allow to change the mind like they have to just be that person Forever and like that doesn't happen doesn't it? Yeah, well sometimes, but you know, I would say that I think some people are poor road Poor road The man has an age of fucking day. He looks amazing, but you know good genes good genetics probably moisturizers like a motherfucker Yeah, so listen probably has tweakments as well Tweakments are one little tiny ones that don't allegedly allegedly allegedly Sneaky sneaky. Yes, guys Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening

7:10Thank you for being part of Shagron or if you'd like to like and subscribe and all that shit That will be really helpful probably not very convincing when I say and all that shit But there we go. It is time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor. Rosey. It's happening. It's happening this week's sponsor is Light mornings. Oh the light mornings are back Yeah, I wake up. There's a I look at the curtain. There's there's a crack of light. Yeah, there's a What's happening is the is the refia is the lighthouse has someone port a car? No, it's daylight God it's happening so happy. I don't know, but the other day But it's not only forget the minute because the idea the other evening I went to take the bins out. I walked in the back garden and it was still light in the back garden at like The hills are about just the kids were playing outside last night. Oh believe me after school And it was just so happy about it And we live in the north as well So we're probably getting the shitest version of that So if you live down in the south and you're getting actual warm fuck me congratulations And have we become those old fuckers who talk about and wind about the weather? Yes, we have hard lines

8:13Yes, we have because it affects your mental health and it's nice to be back We had a fight about the Jingle Jingle we couldn't set a long a Jingle Jingle So this is the Jingle Jingle We hope you like the Jingle Jingle Babadu Babadu Babadu Babadu Bab Jingle Jingle Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shag Mountain oid Hello Like we said before hope you're all well and it is just a bit intense At the minute Yes, we are here and you're on two are still I am on two and well as I like to call it at the moment So there's two there's two jobs. I've got it the minute me first job three jobs one jobs the podcast obviously look a bit Wouldn't change it for the world What does he need to be co-host? No, no, I wouldn't I'm alright with that as well Shit, you know, try give it a try well. I am working on a clone

9:14I am working on a clone Yeah, it's just yeah, it's not just great. You go really mean that Honestly, you know I've done what I've evolved a period out of I should never has a period just amazing. Oh my god Amazing if I didn't have a period. I think I'd be the perfect woman What yeah, you would yeah, don't you think I'm totally talking. I'm sorry So oh my god, I think I've rough I think I briefly mentioned your period on stage the other night when I was on two And I think there was a lady in the crowd who mustn't listen regularly the podcast I was just like like was like mortified that I was mentioned me I was like you're not up to date. I was like you don't you don't understand that the period is the third host of the podcast But is it not good that men talk about periods? I said that Robbins had the oh Robbins getting the big chat the day at school It's the big chat the big chat Not the sex education chat because they already had that which was mortified in last year awful I don't feel like that should have happened, but that's by the by it's done now I feel like I don't feel like I was warned about it and then I just sort of got told and I was like

10:15Okay, anyway, that's by the by it's happened and the big chat about and I said to him this morning I said what they're gonna talk about it less than periods and what is he was just like He was mortified. I totally didn't I yesterday when the car and I said um know what I mean jelly bean I just said you know what I mean and I left a little gap and I went jelly bean anyway don't You yeah, they're ever and I was like what the fuck are you for that bad on the subject of them? Yeah, I forgot to tell you about this right do you know the other day when they were just being dicks Well now we're down Anyway, um, so let's check me diary. Oh, that was that was everything that you know I'm gonna need more I'm gonna need more specifics. It was just a day when they were being dicks right I said the Robin I don't know if you you might not be in here, but I might you might be downstairs I can't remember anyway He was going to bed and I said to him and I was like I'm sick of everyone being rude in this house I'm sick. No one listening was broke. I was just doing one of them ran so I had a brand It was reading his book and I was just having a rant and then I said you know what is I went you would be good

11:16I think it was one of them pity me more so if I packed my bags and I left this house Yes would be good, which I hate actually because is that like what narcissistic parents do possibly who possibly Anyway, listen when you're back against the wall you pull out the old narcissistic parents stuff come on Well, I know I just had a moment. I felt so himself anyway all he did so I was like and I would leave this house And I'll never come back and he literally looked up from his book and he just went that's a bit dark I think carried on reading couldn't give a shit Well, I thought well, I just think you pull them out now and then you really do like how and I paid them leave Skateboard partly the day would be in there for so long I paid him I went if we leave now you can have 20 pounds and need to leave I would be in there for four and a half hours. It was fucking freezing. I was sick. Why you did not say you did not tell me that you paid him to leave Chris. I managed to change it in the last minute I managed to change it and say look you did so well in the competition that you know God, I hope you did they did the competition or everyone was watching you now that had to take turns

12:18Someone's on the microphone. They were like next to the ramps. It's rubbing around you and you had to do all the stuff It was amazing and I was like, yeah, it's painted. You've slashed. You did really well. Why don't you just say we're going now? I'll see what you are. You are. You are ruining these kids. Yeah, I should have put me back to tell them I was leaving them there. Should I pick a fucking side? Will you I'd rather there'd be I'd rather there'd be sort of emotionally scarred from the possibility of we're leaving. Right? The threat of we're leaving then they're getting 20 quid just whenever they want. It was 12 quid in the end. The thing you want was 12 quid. I kept the quid pocket. These actual words were I'll let you keep that a quid dad because that was clearly a bribe. Why are you telling why do you do that? Why do you keep doing this? And then do you know what really do you know what's the most upset? And this is being a beef because they'll do something and you go, these children are spoiled. And I'm like, well, because you've because you bribe them to leave places you're more on. You say get your stuff.

13:21We're leaving now or I'm going to park my words. Stop. Stop it. Please. No, you buy the McDonald's every week. Can you stop it? I've got a shiny. You're not the favorite parents. I've got a shiny 20 pound old if you stopped talking about this. I've got a shiny 20 pound old for you. If you just leave this, if you forget about all this. You're a moron. You're a moron. Well, good luck because actually the clever right and they do realize that you know sometimes we are a team but sometimes we're very much not. Right. And I think that's because we're both fiercely independent. So they they will know, oh, mom doesn't just give us stuff but dad does. So good luck. So good luck. They're going to bleed you dry. And who they're not going to bleed dry. Okay. Me. Right. So good. So there you go. All right. Fine. There will be like dad to push over. He'll buy us that. He'll get us this. Now it depends what he catches on because sometimes I'm an absolute pushover. Sometimes I'm an absolute pushover. You're always a pushover. You're always a pushover. You buy literally the amount of times they come home. Every time you go to a market, buy them something.

14:23No, not ridiculous though. Just a sweet or something. Every time every time Chris, you're a mold. You're a fool. You're a fool. Join our buy them to get a pack of raisins out the one that the most packed that I bought yesterday. Or what do you want for a bird seed? You can have a brioche out of the pack that I bought and that's it. I don't I don't buy them enough or me. Okay. Okay. The noted noted. Listen, do you want to know about your jobs? Three jobs, right? As I was saying, anyway, podcast, right? Like I said, definitely change in the host. A co-host. Um, stand up. And my other job is come and home and try and be best not to get fucking coughed and sneezed on so that I'm ill when I go back out on tour. I've known nothing like it. The pair them just, but out here, just in your face, just sitting like that. I feel wind. I just feel wind from coughs on me body the whole time. Is this, is this you trying to prepare me for you just not coming home at all?

15:23It's just what this feels like. I just need to stay. I just need to stay. What, what are these to do? I need a quarantine. I just need a quarantine so I can still do the gifts. Well, wasn't it? Was it? I don't want to like dig them out, but we interviewed a pop star. No, no, no. We interviewed a couple of pop stars who tell us that when they're finished to it, they'll go and just stay in a hotel for a week. So one, I don't know. I did decompress. I don't want to say who it was, but I told loads of people this. But someone who we have interviewed a couple of times, who's a musician and a famous man, told us of another even more famous guy who when he finishes a massive world tour, stays in a hotel round the corner from his house and just pops in for a couple of extra hours per day. Just to get you that. I mean, that's the fucking life in it. That's the fucking life in it. I'm going to say it was actually. I'm not going to say who told me. I'm going to say who it was. No, why? Just because just so everyone knows a bit. I'm going to have some trust. Well, yeah. I don't always remember who it was. It was Bonnell. It was Bonnell. I got told that Bonnell comes back from a massive tour.

16:26I mean, in there two as a mental. I mean, in there in you two do separate plans. They don't travel together in case they all die and the whole band's gone. So they go on separate planes. Right. So he comes back and apparently just stays in a hotel round the corner and just comes home. Come in for a couple hours and then fox off back to the hotel stays one night. It comes in six hours the next day. Fox off back to the hotel. Just drip feeds themselves. That's the only family. How are you the half living it? Oh, it's just great. I didn't know. I'd be raging. I'd be raging. No. But like, didn't you toy me? I stayed an extra half. No idea. Have you taken it? Well, I just think. Do you know what it is? Right? In his defense. It's the way that you choose to live your life. Yeah. We, you know, which is not. I don't want to get talk. No. Well, I'm not going to say what you're going to see. Quick. See something. You're going to regret that you have to wake up in the middle of the night. Remember. I'm going to regret it. I just we are in a financial position where we could. Live a very different life to what we do. But it's because I feel like I need to.

17:29See my kids all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's the kind of mom and family that I had. And I want that for my kids. And you're the same. So like, so you could go and stay in a hotel down the road for a week. But I would be like, sorry, what are you doing? Listen to me. Listen to me right now. And this is from the bottom of my heart. I don't like any of the hotels around here, which I have looked into. So I'm not going to. No, actually, this is the difference. We're like, right. We're talking. We're talking a lot here. But no, the difference is you would love to do that. 100% honestly, someone opened a nice little hotel around here. Sell shields, get open it, put on a nice one and come out. I'll go on your kidness. I did a full time. I'll just pop in now and then pop in bed and bath. Bed and bath. See you later. I know. Do you think Bono will get up with five o'clock with these kids? I don't know. And then does his kids must be grown up now. I don't know if he's got kids. No. So it's sorry. You don't want to just eat what? He's just going crazy. He's like. I had to know for love card. We can't just eat any more love. We've done two hours of love. I'll be right back in the morning.

18:29I don't know if that's so off. Is he either? Yes, I do. Babadu, Babadu, Babadu, Babadu, Babadu. Score more with the college branded Venmo debit card and earn up to five percent cash back with Venmo stash. Got paid back with the Venmo debit card. You can instantly access your balance and spend on what you want. Like game day snacks, gear, tickets, and more. The more you do, the more cash back you can earn. Plus, there's no monthly fear minimum balance. Sign up now at Venmo.com slash college card. The Venmo master card is issued by the bank court bank NA select schools available. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo.me slash stash terms. Max $100 cash back per month. Protein is now at Starbucks. And it's never tasted so good. You can add protein, cold foam to your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha. Try it today at Starbucks. Spring is here and the shopping list is long. Time to make a lows run. Buy three bags, get three free.

19:29If stay green, one cubic foot garden soy. Plus, right now, members can earn four times the points on an eligible purchase. Start spring off strong with these deals and more. Our best line up is here at Lowes. Valentine 325, while supplies last. Soil offer excludes of Laskin Hawaii, loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. See Lowes.com slash terms for details. Subject to change, point booster subject to exclusions and more terms apply. One time only offer. I forgot to tell you something last week. Okay. So me and Carl, I went to do Jiu Jitsu with some lads in Milton Keynes, right? And then Carl found like a little, I think I told you Carl found like this little like health club thing around the corner. So we went and had like a sauna in that afterwards basically because I didn't want to do Jiu Jitsu. What? What's that look for? Just must be nice. Where we went and if we did all that. You're going to want to again next year. Hey. What? You're doing it again next year. So listen, I swore blind on this podcast that I wasn't going to add any dates. Because it's just you know, I'm assuming I'm probably going to add some dates because I'm a massive hypocrite person.

20:30Before the two I started, you were just like, you know, you're a bit sad and you're saying you're going to miss when Mr. Kids and that. And honestly, I haven't really seen that actual. I haven't seen that follow through. You don't seem sad at all. Yeah, actually, if anything, you see like a lot. Rosie, I am. Listen, you and is it Robert and Steve? What the call? What the? You and them two kids mean so much to me. Peter and Peter and Richard is Richard. One of the weekends of the hour. Two and then bands. Honestly, I love you so much. I can barely concentrate on me day trips to Jitsu and, you know, am I taking me golf clubs tomorrow? Yes, I am. Take me golf clubs tomorrow. Have I booked a full round of golf in one of the days that I'm away? Yes. But I will be thinking of you and the kids the entire time. Right. What we've seen. What I'm saying was right. So we've been at this gym. It was really weird. It was like a little sort of really like, I can't remember what it was called. I can't put it on his Instagram. It was a really like Instagramable little cool health club thing.

21:31It was like, I don't know if this, I don't know if this makes sense as an analogy. It was like, if Holly Orks did a gym, that's kind of what it felt like. It was like, young and cool and a lot of, a lot of wood and like black, black shower heads. Do you know what? What? Using Holly Orks as a reference. Bad in it. Am I old? That's, yeah. Yeah. You could like, there's a lot more now really that you could have said. It's just dead fucking cool. Right. Okay. Brat summer like that. I don't know what that is. Right. Well, just like, yeah. Bridgerton, did a gym with that work? I mean, was it? That were the kids I watched. I don't know, was it? Is that all, is that medieval? Not Bridgerton then. What's the other one? What's the one where the, the spunk, drink spunk of a bath bath? Salt burned. That one. If they did a gym. That's, I don't think that's in this time either. No. I missed that. Euphoria. If euphoria did a gym. Right. Listen, it was a fucking cool gym. Just to be the cool gym. Okay. I still don't know what it looks like though. You have not explained. Because Hollywood is a gym. It's really not like, like I haven't watched Hollywood since I think I was about 90.

22:33Imagine an Instagram influencer opened a gym. Okay. Right. It's got tattoos and he's got fucking bright white teeth. This isn't the guy. The guy, the guy, he won't look nothing like this. But he impersonate the margin. Really good looking fella. You know. And it's like. Like the good looking couples. Like the good looking couples. And she's standing next to him and just doing that thing. That makes her aroustic out in the phone. Right. I'm going to wear a gym and everything's black and it's all cool and there's little squeegees in the showers that were black and you squeeping. Okay. I'm not describing it very well and if anything I might be putting people off but it's fucking awesome place. No. You have described it a lot better because you said. You said Hollywood. Right. And that is the gladiator. Imagine the gladiator's open a gym. It would look like this. You've gone near it. Right. I don't know what to talk about. It's fucking nice gym. It has a cold plunge. It had all this stuff, right? We had to get, right? The guy who wanted to came in and said hello. It was the next day. We booked the night before me and Carl. And Carl and obviously because I wanted to have a shower, I didn't want to do a jiu-jitsu and then sit in the car at a brighten for ages. Right. So I phoned them up and I was like, do you provide towels and they were like, no. And then I went, do you have lockers? And they went, yes.

23:33Now apparently because Carl phoned up and booked both of us under one address to stay there. And then I phoned up and asked if they had lockers. There was like, it flagged up on their system. And they had to like, back around check where and then check on when we came in and be like, eji with me because phoned up and asking if you've got lockers. And booking off a DIT off two people off one address is apparently what thieves do who come to gems and just rob all the lockers. These are a couple of... Did they rear-eared men? Just fucking twats! It's like, I'm sorry! Bad isn't it? What he was like, he was like, oh well, the staff fell on alert. It was like, when these two come in like, keep an eye on them and that, and they were fucking following one road. But it was because that's what people do. do they come in and they just nick out with the lock doesn't believe apparently but I've been on of that right okay that whole story was one of the worst stories you've ever told on the podcast and I'm it made no fucking sense okay it was shit okay do you want to retract the whole thing and get it taken out I want to retract everything I just said

24:35because that that was will never get those five minutes back all you wanted to say was that just thought you were dodgy thought you were rubbing great right that's it wonderful it's a really I'm should we go straight to question because it's a really slow is that all you've got so all you've got to say right all you've got to say is that you and Carl are really old in living the past and he's ring up about lockers and booking under different addresses and you're used Hollywood's as a reference don't ever do that again I think is it still on it probably is still on I think so I think so that's good for you I don't want to upset anybody because I think it is but I just don't think it's our okay so I'm still doing pilates yeah which is nice are the lockers there there's actually not there's no lockers and it's just like places to put your court and your shoes but I take me back in with it's like a little old lady

25:35so don't leave me back well you fucking slag of me off your oldest fuck as well but I didn't sorry I didn't write down to me notes tell Chris and everyone listening that I take me back it's not all fucking gold right some stuff I'll tell you and you might have something to spin off from sometimes you don't and I'm just talking to the fucking ether here's something that makes me and Carl sound even more pathetic by the way so this week just gone I did Halifax Stockton Stockton would drove there and back every single night and because Carl gets off stage an hour and a half before me or whatever Carl drove himself as well do you know on the the draft of Halifax um Carl was in the car behind when I was in the car in front and we we were on the phone talking funnily the entire day outside of us and this is fucking pathetic I was like this is what like this is what like brand new couples do like no he's got a lovely friendship I think it's really important but it was like we couldn't like so he'd set off at whatever time for me he lives in Newcastle I live in South Sheel so he'd set off at whatever time and then I got picked up by me too

26:38I managed and I got taken down and he phone to ask about there's a road closed and he phone to ask about it and then we stayed on the phone and we're just a way where like I was like we've just gone past like a bakery but you see the bakery yet and he was like no then two minutes later I'd be like I've gone past it now but I'm was so excited and I went I went why is this so exciting we're going at the same place obviously we're following the same route why is it so exciting and he said because we're set off at different times from different places and we're bending up on the same roads and at one point he was behind us in the van I couldn't come to him he's so I was so excited but I finished a banana and I did consider throwing the banana skin over the top of the cart because we do play a lot of Mario Kart but the two are my tutorials I couldn't it's time for what's your beef now I have been you know a delight when I come back picking up the reins being amazing and I've been away for quite a lot so I can't ignore you then so there can't be much things that you have beef with me this week do you know actually wrong I don't well because you haven't really been here um I wouldn't say being a delight you've been very tip-to-y which are an oasis right like just just like

27:43well because I don't want to come back and like you know swing me dick around and piss you off so I'm very like you know I do have one beef brilliant it's actually different from the one I was gonna say um what's happening with us cooking because you're just getting me way right but I think I get in your way as well well yesterday I was cooking no you won't okay this is more of me beef you always want the dishwasher that's stupid dishwasher when I'm cooking right just getting me way okay and uh I have to empty it like because you're using all the shit and then you need stuff so you're getting stuff out of it and I think well I'll empty it then but then you're using so much fucking shit I need to empty to put it back because we're running out of bench base because you just fucking ignore it oh here then let's go paper plates paper plates do that in America it blows my mind really oh my god oh you're not in TikTok are you TikTok I'm not in TikTok you're not on TikTok I meant to say on sorry you're not on TikTok and there's loads of videos on TikTok where

28:43they're just moms put not very many dads not but not many men do it's mostly women just playing up dinner yeah in America on paper plates they're all with and then they just hide them all in the bin Jesus fucking Christ I don't know what the carbon footprint of a dishwasher are shitload of hot water that wash plates versus throwing them away it is but I'm gonna put me money with me mouth is and say that I imagine just using paper plates and slinging them away is worse for the environment than just washing your dishes who knows I don't believe anything anymore brilliant probably be Jim Kerry in a mask the mask sorry if you just if you just put two into it together there because some guy said it was sim and a mask and you're yeah you've just got my beef with you and you are you haven't just read it off me I can't read that so good and you oh that sounds like a lie I can't you are going to be you are going to be mortified there's going to be a guy on your face here last night it wasn't a beef against me but I'm beefing on behalf of rave last night

29:48and rave got star of the week at school yes he was buzzing star of the week guys little certificates little pennies little toy everything bed very proud of him he finished all his dinner and I said there it is I love it when it takes you a while like click on so you finished all his dinner and I said you know what you've been such a good boy you got star of the week would you like some chocolate and use and he said yes and I went okay and I went in the fridge and I got an Easter I got because we went to a restaurant on Saturday night me and you and we had we had the kids with a lovely night out but we had quite a bit of wine and afterwards we didn't get a dessert we didn't get a dessert afterwards I went at the shop and I got two Easter eggs you had forgotten about the second Easter egg so I went in the fridge and I got this I was really drunk and I got this I got this Easter egg out and you were like where the fuck where the fuck did you get that and I was like oh we're brought at the end I and I was like I'm just gonna open some for rave and you went no don't you dare and you're wrestling offers guys you're wrestling with offers right put it in the fridge went in the other co-batter went rave do you want a Kit Kat and he got a Kit Kat instead of some chocolate egg look he got some

30:51Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat he loves it he loves Kat Kat he's so kindy in it he loves a Kit Kat um he doesn't know he does not need to know it's unbelievable if either if them two know that that Easter eggs in that fridge it'll be gone yeah and then who's not going to enjoy the Easter egg muggins here no unbelievable sorry oh I'm sorry oh I'm sorry 20 quids left right in the left I can't speak right in center would the as one would you pay them to not eat that Easter egg no it's the last Easter egg in in in in the land right um you are on your period and hung over oh god and there's just the Easter egg left and they both want the Easter egg but you've got 40 pound in your hand to give them 20 pound each or they're going to eat that Easter egg what would you do I give them the money but that's but I rest my case you filthy hypocrite you're here now

31:55it's time for questions from the public public public as always if you'd like to get in touch it is shagged married annoyed at gmail.com and if you'd like to send a voice note to our whatsapp the number is 0 7 8 7 4 4 0 6 6 5 0 and it's on the podcast page on your little podcast app so you can just click it on there really but I've said it then you congratulations and I will will I learn it will I fuck you don't need to learn it you can have you can have your tools around you yeah like you know I should write it down on me oh I should write it down on me Mike stand there's a good idea I'll look I look forward to forgetting to do that yeah good yeah great right um I've got these voicinols which I totally forgot I've only listened a few of them so I don't have a comment but dearsie sent them so they should be there just smash them smash them smash them let's go hey Chris I'm Rosie so my partner will probably kill me if you know I was sending this in juicy I just had to do it so last year he decided he wanted to lose weight he didn't want to do the jobs so he

32:59decided to take these slim in tablets now these slim in tablets strip all of the fat out of the food you're eating so you can imagine what they do to you he took a slim in tablet on his birthday and on his birthday that night we were going out for a curry with all of our friends so in his infinite wisdom he thought he'd take a tablet that day go to the next day and he comes in absolutely traumatized to the bedroom to tell me that he has shut out pure orange oil and he wasn't lying because even though he flushed the toilet the whole toilet was orange it's like someone had sprayed it with orange oil and that is what he did for two days and that day I thought let me change the bed as I've taken off the bottom sheet no there's an orange splatter across our mattress so clearly in the night he decided to do a little pop and in that pop he'd pebble dashed

34:03spray-painted our bed with orange oil it took a whole new meaning to you've been tangoed you know I've heard of that before they're quite old school they're nice to work with some money for them yeah they take like all of the fat out of everything you eat so you do kind of just excrete like oil and all that kind of stuff oh god me it's all like right so some curries when you get them you know from a place that will have that like the lear on top you're telling me that lear on top that stuff that when it gets it's on your fingers for days he was just firing that out of his back end for days yeah that that's that's horrend it you I'm sorry why is him the first thing I go to he must have been wiping for hours oh why do you take on these birthday surely on your birthday you go I'm having the night off it's a weird time is it so I don't understand what the do something yet inside that makes you not get take any of the fat in apparently

35:07can't be just go through all the way through yeah oh god grim no no no hi Chris and Rosie so I've just listened to the episode where you were talking about the guy that got his dick stuck in a mystery and bottle and it's reminded me of my very first boyfriend and he was 17 and he so just for context just to give you a bit of info about the type of person he was we were together for about six to eight months I absolutely idolized him you know first boyfriend tall dark hamson etc he was a little bit odd when I think back actually very odd he was probably Tom Jones's biggest fan at the age of 17 and he wore crocodile skin type shoes because Tom Jones wore shoes like he also wore like a gold cigarette ring on his little finger because Tom Jones wore that on his

36:08finger and he would listen to so much of his music that he wasn't really up to date with like modern music because he loved Tom Jones that much he also had the obsession with tigers so his bedroom as a 17 year old boy living at home with his parents was covered in photographs signed pictures of Tom Jones and then tigers in the world and yeah so the Listerine situation and he's like a sitcom character awful but we've all gone out with people like this but that's come on we think back leather jackets did you see another jacket or if I just put them in one and right so I put him on I just put them in shoes and as well just for a second there when she said he was up she's so she went she said he's obsessed with top drawn then she jumped the tigers and she went she went in his room signed she said signed photos of I thought she was going to see I thought she was going to see Tom Jones with tigers like like like the tiger he got a photo of the tiger from

37:12the zoo and then they'd like put it's paw print on a little bit of ink is it you see you know it's tiger saying so weird isn't it I don't know but when you think back I don't know how many girlfriends you've heard in the past but I think I'm not a boyfriend I can't have lost count millions some weird ones when you go what I just I find I find people absolutely fascinating who go right I'm gonna pick one or two things and that's me done to be obsessed with yeah I'm gonna pick one or two things I'm gonna make them me entire existence and that's it I've always always always people like this like what he gets so much pleasure from Tom Jones and tigers so much pleasure from Tom Jones that he doesn't even know any modern music just so much and tigers I wonder if he had a photo of Tom Jones with a tiger well that's what I thought she was going to see yeah if I know the rest because why should mention in this list green bottle that's the thing that's got me I he's already where's he getting his dick to I haven't listened to this by the way yeah where's he getting his dick stuck that's got tiger mouth with Tom Jones face on I'm so confused

38:14tiger bomb okay go okay ready yeah um yeah so the Listerine situation um he was quite proud about the fact that he was never going to get an STD or an STI because he regularly rinsed his dick in Listerine he would splash Listerine all over it to keep it clean and he believed that because it said on the bottle that it kills bacteria and kills germs that he was never going to get anything like that because of Listerine again I didn't have the heart to tell him that you would have to actually have sex with lots of people who had infections to contract that kind of thing I think he genuinely thought he could just randomly get it wasn't the smartest the brightest crayon in the packet wow so he believed that you could just randomly get an STD from like like a cold like a cold or a you know or a random infection so he just regularly for no reason

39:19washed his dick with Listerine to people I've talked with their kids I don't think anyone talked with their kids back then and one spoke to him nobody the part of the probably already said he'd turn that fucking Tom Jones off again and stop roaring yeah you you scratched all these holes in this door the fuck's wrong with your man he's just scared of you you better be sitting there great again I'll come up there and I'll give him no massage why why unbelievable say goodbye to that messy drawer of hot hair tools and hello to the one introducing shark glam shark beauties new five and one multi-stiler shark glam offers wetter dry styling air straightening and glossing all with one tool when air is not enough shark glam has all hair types covered using a breakthrough blend of hot air and ceramic technology

40:24shark glam one tool endless styles volume shine and bounce all day visit shark beauty calm to learn more you've been there settling in for an evening of TV only to waste half the night scrolling enter fire TV entertainment with zero effort required fire TV serves up personalized recommendations from across all your apps not sure what to watch just tell Alexa plus what you're in the mood for and she'll pull up the perfect recommendation problem solved stop the scroll start the show find what you're looking for with fire TV subscriptions may be required we all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on but too often life for usually price gets on the way that's why price line is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality with up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off lights you can book everything you need for your next adventure don't just dream about that next trip book it with price line download the price line app or visit

41:26priceline.com and book your next trip today go to your happy price price line hi Chris and Rosie I thought you'd love this story so late last year I'd come out of a 14-year relationship back into the daylight in a moment of post dump and delusion I decided I was that girl and went on a date two weeks later delusional behavior yes I know I mean I don't think you've moved on but you know that he's she wasn't ready I don't know lesson learned and ever again she wasn't ready oh I'd rather be on my own if this is the kind of people available oh god egg one this is this guy right and I'm not condoned this is just her eggs I'm not saying it's my eggs okay or our eggs because I don't think you should it's not an egg in my opinion and I'm really ect out but this is just her okay but anyway egg one he has a not allergy that's not an egg that's so that's not an egg that's not an egg I can't be yet I don't know why but it was just something to me

42:29and made my vagina shrivel up it's gone healthy I felt like I'd have to carry not be penned instead of lip gloss the romance was fading fast so that's a weird thing so that's that is it's interesting it's an interesting point because it's like that old school like survival of the fitness kind of thing some people see a weakness in someone and see it as a oh my god I'll look after you I'll you know I'll be there for you and a lovely nurture thing and some people see you know I'm not saying it's a weakness but you know it's it's a it's an issue some people say something like an allergy and go absolutely not you need to look after me well it takes all sort of people my friend you've got an allergy and you you just constantly forget he's got an allergy and well in my opinion every time he comes around in my opinion he doesn't mention it enough he doesn't he never does after I have to die after I have to mention it at restaurants when we go to restaurants to go any allergies and he goes and I go fucking tell him oh I'm not going to hospital itself yes himself well that's his problem no I've tried I have one multiple times try multiple times don't have just this is literally like yeah just about to put his mouth

43:31and you go oh by the way there's nuts and he goes okay thanks a lot and I'll just put that down yeah bless him anyway she's like bye like I said I am not absolutely that it's so unbelievably harsh and I am not on board with her being and the only reason I'm reading this out is because the end is funny right okay so I'm not I'm not trying to condo anyway second the second day he's got asthma but this is fucking shocking again no again nothing wrong with it but why did I immediately picture myself fanning him gently during a live jog and him popping on his inhaler and me on my vape to get through the situation this is her these are her issues not his these are her issues I think in a past life she's had all of these things right okay and this is why she's got it anyway but the absolute the absolute final nail in the coffin was the conversation all that of this man look me dead in the eyes and ask me my favorite color I said mine he said his which was baby blue

44:34I made my excuses and left oh the three horsemen of the Ica pot relips no analogy asthma baby blue taxi it's easy please keep me anonymous just in case he tries to chase me down the street inhaler in hand will keep you anonymous because you're a fucking dick don't do it on you that I think I don't even think that because I'm telling you right now I think she's just she's a little bit a bit of it it is 14 years I gave to a man and this is what I've come back out to not allergies in here doesn't baby blue I don't think I think if she met the love of her life and he had an analogy and he used any had asthma I don't think she'd be bothered I think she's just in a bad place she's a in a bad place and she's doing on with his father we're enjoying baby blues hilarious baby that would ignite that's really fun yeah what's your favorite color baby blue why are you asking what the fit what what is this fucking nursery how to start a conversation level one I don't know

45:38your favorite color what I don't know let me she was saying at the same time wait what's your favorite color green none of your fucking business how about that that I don't know your favorite color business what's got to do with you you're boring cow and not my favorite color it's like like an army green all of it's probably my favorite color yeah yeah I've got I've got four players of all of all of trousers just ask me mine what's favorite color all of you green shut up man for all the same why are you coming up why are you coming up and we're just the same you're picking everyone can't be baby blue can't be all of you baby pink public service announcement second one a day a first one don't watch your dictionary didn't think I'd have to say that second one if you are on a date and they ask you what your favorite color is make your excuses and leave because they are not putting the effort in here they are root one that is the worst possible that watch your favorite color that is the worst thing you can ask someone I don't know I think you get a good impression of someone unless you've got

46:41an amazing follow-up question watch your favorite color is what what if you what are you reading date and for dummies page one well maybe well I'm not being funny if you if I want a date or what if we were calling them like black I'd go right he's depressed who you're gonna use a date with that what says hands I'm just I saw a video the day the kid dressed up as a Edward says a hands for like Halloween or something I thought they don't know who that is the mate what what five-year-old watching Edward says a hand you made our kids watch a mighty duxie idea our kids turn them off but some kids keep them on and watch them the watch yeah can I tell you how how much anxiety I had because I look I would love to write I kept crying because it was just nostalgia all the way through I was keep we've got and I was just waiting for them to turn it off what what am I going to say what's your favorite film no oh never seen it I've never seen them like he talks I can it this is are you actually being

47:42I've never seen it stop come on come back tell us what if every color is I've never seen the mighty dogs I'm a clone I'm do you okay I'm pleased to meet you what did you what when you were a kid everything except the mighty dogs I've never seen it are you okay I'm not okay never seen the mighty dogs nobody like me to watch it with you was what I was going to say it's brilliant no it's cinematic it's like god god why I just oh that's sad but weirdly I used to play I used to play hockey outside and I used to quote it all the time because I used to just quote the quotes that other people said I used to copy that it's not a book time and all that I don't I've never seen that but I know yeah yeah I said all that but I'd never seen it I just copied off whatever else said I think it was on sky no well I didn't have sky I watched the cartoon the mighty dogs cartoon there was a cartoon this is real this is actually really you upset

48:50hi kev it's me you're right I'm all right I'm just ringing you really quickly right this is going to I'm just doing the podcast and this might upset you a little bit do you know my Chris is never seen mighty dogs I've seen the goonies I've seen the goonies right what about the Sandlock kids the what the Sandlock kids never even heard of that oh Chris this is so I'm so upset right now you've got no idea what are the mighty dogs court bomb it all right do you know what I don't think I can actually be married there were many but I put it on firm and he's educated in the way he looks like yeah and isn't it there's two and three oh not the court bomb it a series after we caught his kids again it's just come out there last year I've seen the cartoon I've seen

49:56the mighty dogs cartoon I'm trying to claw you way back I'm getting fucking bullied all right kev I just have to let you know I've got it I'm praying boy I watch it every year me like and you guys birthday Charlie Charlie could you want me to swing I knew I knew that would upset my kev because I know your drip um it was such a huge film of our childhood and I just assume everyone I was expecting the patented you and kev and your mom and ke it all go I was expecting the air but he just went nah drip which hurt so much more oh anyway that's that's I'm sorry that's took a lot of time up with the podcast that's really

50:56upset me I apologize to anything you know your partner though like I thought I knew you really well you've never seen my new dogs I'm sorry I'm really sorry fuck hi Rosy and Chris please keep me anonymous mm-hmm be listen the podcast from day one and never miss an episode I love you thank you I've been dying to write in for years with the story my husband told me and I think you'll love it I hope so let's go he's finally agreed to me sending it in as long as no names are mentioned cool when my other half was around 12 or 13 he hung around with another lad let's call him James James lived in a street in our hometown in the northeast called Greta Avenue in this street it's not chilled right in this street resided a girl gang self-titled the Greta girls very imaginative I'm sure you like it I like it I think I'm all about the Greta girls had a bit of a mean streak and weren't very nice to James I imagine they had their own theme tune and their own dance I would love that 100% being as my husband put it bitchy self-entitled

52:01nobbs wow one day by chance the boys were looking out of an upstairs window and saw the Greta girls shiftfully placing an object in a water meter cover in the path right when it was clear when the girls are gone yeah the boys ran and grabbed this item excitedly opening the drain cover to find a plastic bag with what can only be described as a burn book inside do I burn book guys have you seen mean girls yes you haven't have you no you see the musical you never told me you'd never seen mean girls I'm watching musicals but the musical was great the books better I don't think it was a book if you're not ready to read the book don't don't be a dickhead we can tell you we had mighty books the book have you yeah mighty dogs the book I read all the mighty dog books so a burn book in mean girls was where they just wrote horrible stuff about people all the burn right okay yeah yeah god oh god they found that in a in a drain yeah the girls have

53:01stashed that in a dream and these lads have found it yeah so the burn book contain the scribblins of teen girls things like Emily thinks Josh is fit Chloe is a slag things of that nature classic yeah there was only one thing for it my husband a well put together individual as an adult might I add took the bag and it james this house and in it I guess it because it's the only thing you can do it's absolutely would never be my go to thing I don't understand men so he's he's shot in the bag and he's going to go and put it back so that when they go back they get this burn book the book isn't there and there's just a turd there no he's shit in the book oh wow has he yeah with the bag in oh he took the bag into james' house and he did a shit in it with the book in yeah he's not sure he was sure to shit in the book and he then put the bag back into the cover and left it there for the girls to find the next time they went to write about Shannon Boehner bitch etc he has no idea what came of the bag or the discovery of the bag but it's but is mildly haunted

54:08by his actions yeah I personally think they deserve it and it's a pretty funny story well I've got to once this guy I've got a side with well if he's listening mate I've got a sideways slant of what could have actually happened here and the purr purr block from Northumbria water could have had to come out to check and meet that and found the carry a bag with a book and some human shit in it and probably quit that day I quit oh god Babadu Babadu Babadu Babadu Babadu Babadu reversic nice this just says now it makes me moisture than an oyster then when my husband sorry sorry sorry I like that a lot moisture than an oyster because oysters are typically very moist very wet okay good god yeah nothing makes me oyster moisture than a most of the no oyster than my husband where when he's capped backwards as he does DIY or a cheapy pencil pop behind the ear why I really got changed to a cheat listen a limb biscuit back in

55:12the day didn't you hello Rosy and Chris long time listen at first I'm email oh listen in your episode where Rosy is talking about being on slop duty in primary school yeah it's so funny it's because it's you it's you on slop duty it's so funny I thought it was called it was literally called slop duty fantastic um it unlocked this memory of I had of when I was in school oh school was mint man was it fork we didn't have a slop duty but we did have a water monitor right right what yeah this was a pupil that stood between the two fountain two water fountain we had in the cloak room slash bugs their job was to press the button to make the water come out well you drank no I think we had this no way I genuinely think we might have had this I can't why couldn't students press the button by themselves well because if I remember correctly people take the piss right people would have just been at it for ages right just taking the

56:14piss and messing on so they had to be like water on it as yeah source another right so another kid in school got a decide how first do you work yeah basic perfect but they got a side of you were you weren't perfect right no oh god the power the power you've had enough now yeah fucking haven't you have you've had enough well listen so if you had had a squabble or didn't get on too well with whoever's turn it would happen to be that day they just wouldn't press it so you couldn't get a drink and their mates would get more than the 10 seconds allocated 10 seconds teachers didn't give a shit and the water monitor has had all the power in this situation that's fucking unbelievable oh how did you get kidney stones oh because the water monitor wouldn't let us drink water it wouldn't press the button press the button myself got me face by the way the amount of drinks that we make for our kids I don't remember drink this is on Instagram so much but it's so true I don't remember drinking when I was a kid I take water with us everywhere now like I'm gonna fucking dry up what actually and if I don't have a headache and I'm like Jesus

57:15I don't don't remember ever drinking at all do you now now I remember the first time I've not told you about this the first time it was a lot called if I've said this on the podcast I apologize there's a lot called John and he was in my French class and I remember we sorry Jean that calls Jean it usually be friend class who's from shields he had I'll never forget it it was a bottle of Evian on the desk next to us and I remember going what you're doing and he was like oh yeah and I was like what you're not allowed that and you went you are you went you're allowed to drink there and the teacher went can you get that off the desk and he went I'm allowed a bottle of water like it from the duck there you know what it was like yeah I was like I'm like I'm sorry all right it's the first time but then like uni and everything so it's fucking you bottles water and the god knows what they're doing now they're probably got fucking backpacks on the straws where you just constantly like a fucking starfish the only drinks I remember at school was the milk obviously and uh you didn't get you said dinner time

58:20no remember sometimes it would be your treat and it'd be juice and you'd be like this juice really remember and my primary I do remember that I brought a corner I been erin of course he did oh you had a pack lunch didn't you pat lunch you can't arrive you now of course every day you had a ribina yeah bad in it so we're milk in the morning then a corner I been at and then literally fuck all until god knows drinking bath water later on you're either drink the only other drink I remember drinking is the little cartons of the juice that you didn't use the straw you bit the bottom oh yeah yeah yeah bite the bottom squeeze it if you're only other drink I remember this partner about two um water fountains next to each other has unlocked a memory of something I called told me the other day that I completely forgot about right do you know Carl wants I don't so mean Carl went to school is it about school no no so Carl for some reason right one of his favorite things to do is just remember times in the past where he's been a asshole and laugh about the great his favorite thing do you all want he said he was in it was either Manchester on Newcastle and he had he had his business cards bank card and he's personal bank card and he went up to the cash machines and there was two cash machines next to each other and he put the

59:22personal in one and the business and the other and he was going between the two cash machines checking his balance and there's a weekend for the party there's a bloke I a bloke turned up to use other cash machines and Carl was jump between two of them like a fucking DJ right that's horrible turn around and this vlog just went mate that is all I'm sorry sorry I'll be I'll already be one minute that's all I've got to just fucking unbelievable I miss cash machines I haven't been one for a long time I used to cash machine I need that mad isn't it oh do miss do miss a cut I tell a lie I use the one across the road from the pulpit don't lie I actually got a shock Babadou Babadou Babadou bath really quickly hello I was listening to the reverse egg episode and thought of a random surprise and reverse egg the first time I saw my boyfriend

1:00:22making dinner for us he got a garlic bulb out the fridge and it wasn't it he crushed it with the heel of his hand against the chopper to separate the clothes very surprised and turn on easily please but I think I you would cock that up I'd hurt me hand you would go good you'd look away I would do it you would hear a shout oh you'd look away you'd look back and I have a bandage on I'd have a bandage on and I'd be knocking the beans Carl Paul I go I've hurt me oh god good although like Jamie Oliver and that you see them do it to put the knife to put the the side of a big knife out and the bang it like that that's pretty cool yeah you should mount Jamie Oliver shouldn't be all on the subject of reverse x I wrote down a couple of reverse x from a guy we work with called Jack who does the the film and what we do with this enormous um he told me to reverse x the other day the first one is really I get it is it about girls a second little turn on about with girlfriend okay I really get the first one

1:01:25the second one just made us feel a bit sad for him and the first one is uh when my girlfriend strokes the back of me head while I'm driving so we drive along and Chalena cross on to just touch the back he's head and the back he's neck we used to do this stuff like that we didn't we're now I'm like don't fuck a touch as I'm concentrating when does it oh god oh shit when you have kids next question yeah this one this one so that first one makes you nostalgic really happy about this this next one is just it's just it's essentially a basic human right um reversic when my girlfriend brings me a water as well as getting a self one oh that's sweet though I mean just bring them a fucking water I know but it is sweet it's not on water I'm on it I should be cracking them out with a bit stronger she's enough to I suppose yeah well there we go yeah from sexy to just servitude that's marriage thank you so much for listening and watching this

1:02:26video show yes thank you so much and as always if you want to get in touch it's shag mode you know gmail dot com send us whatever you want we will keep you anonymous and if you want to send a voice no in if anything at all it is zero seven eight seven four four zero six six five zero big love bye bye spring just slid into your DMs grab that boho look for that rooftop dinner those sandals that can keep up with you and hangs some string lights to give your patio a glow up springs calling Ross work your magic the UPS store is making packing and shipping Easter gifts quicker than ever this year with UPS 8 how quick quicker than a walk around the park quicker than eating all the Easter candies quicker than finding a golden egg that you know is stuffed with cash when you ship UPS air at the UPS store your items arrive on time or your money back guaranteed at no extra cost exclusively at the UPS store U.S. retail locations send Easter jewel on time at the UPS store visit the UPS store dot com slash air guarantee for full details trends and conditions