A Real Born Nut, with Matt Apodaca

0:00Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free. On to the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you. It's Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse foreign America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, I read it online. So if you're online, there sure is a lot of stuff to read on there. If you're online using web, you know about the website Reddit. This is a popular discussion forum. Well, people chat about everything from minerals to what races are good at things. Very good thing. The real breath, the breath of human endeavor. The free thing. The throat to steal nudes from celebrities. It was a while ago now. Anyway, from air friars to 3D printing a gun. They're talking about it. On Reddit.

1:00Okay, so on our segment, I read it on the internet. Jordan, sometimes when we're out in the world, not being in the world, but rather just sitting in our house on Reddit. Sure. Instead of anecdotes from our lives, we just have a thing we saw on Reddit. That's right. We read it and we react because people love it when people react to things. Can I just say, Jesse foreign, first time hearing Reddit post reaction. Right. Just like a Gen Z kid hearing, let's up in for the first time and going, what's this? Okay, so this is from... I'm going to make up my own drum part before you play me the original drum part from the original recording of this Reddit post. Incredible. Hey, we usually don't do it this quick, but we love this guy. You want to bring in the guest and we'll all react together.

2:01This guy is a beloved regular Jordan Jesse go guest. He's running for office. You can tell by the way that he shakes hands when he enters your workplace. He is, of course, one of the hosts of Get Played as well as a podcast super producer, Matt Upadaka. Thank you. I currently don't have a platform, so I'm up for grabs. You can just tell me whatever you want and I'll say I'll do it. Here's a spicy one, especially in LA. Okay, great. Where I imagine you'll be running. That's right. I'm going to run for president of Los Angeles. How about this? Just to mix it up, come out as pro-pot hole. You know what? It's more of those things up there. I haven't read all the information. I do think that I'm hearing a lot from one side in particular that people who think these pot holes not too good. I'm going to have to maybe take the other side on this. They were there first. Can I just say you, Sarah, on their land. You say I'm going to run for president of Los Angeles. Because though that is a ridiculous thing to say, when 100%, that's what Spencer Pratt

3:05said before he decided to run for mayor, I sort of forgot all about him, which was very fortunate of me until this very moment. And now I want to choke someone. I just, I mean, I miss so many things about Spencer Pratt being gone from the news cycle. I think the thing I miss most, those beautiful AI billboards all around. Yeah, I billboards really, really great. Him as Batman or... I kind of just think if he just kept to wearing hummingbird feeders, that would have just been fine. I would have been okay with that. What was that? There was a period of time on Instagram where he was like wearing hummingbird feeders. Oh, this is like before he started to run. Before he started to run. Before he started to run. He was like a fun weirdo internet president. Yeah, yeah, he's like now I'm a little cookie. Right. You know what? More power to you. Me a cuck that's absolutely fine with me. Don't try to, you know, make laws or whatever. Yeah. I'll put a frozen yogurt store. That's fine, we all like it. Hell yeah.

4:06I voted for him back to you, George. Okay. I'm not going to tell you guys who I voted for. Oh, it's a secret ballot. We were a secret ballot. Jordan, why did you find on Reddit? Oh, but before I dive it, actually this is from, I should say I'll tease it a little bit. This is from one of our favorite subreddits. Of course, we really like subreddits with specific interests where people are drilling down on one thing that they love. And of course, we keep coming back over and over again to our slash model trades. Yeah. We love our slash model trades. I can't imagine that that subreddit is not, not without its own controversies as well. You know, like it's like, it can, but it, it's, it's, it's, it's probably a little more on the pleasant side of the, yeah. It usually is. Yeah. I mean, things, things will get spicy every now and then, um, you know, amidst the fomers, uh, uh, what they call themselves because they shape things out of foam. Oh, I thought they foam at the mouth at how much they love trains. Oh, yeah. I love this. I was happy to hear it was at the mouth. Sure. These guys will foam from wherever.

5:08Can I, can I tell you a post I just saw in our slash marbles? Oh, sure. Uh, it was a guy who had bought two, uh, bags of marbles at an estate sale for $10. And he poured them into a bowl and he said anything good in here. And somebody, somebody replied, it was the top reply. It said, uh, look, two bags of marbles for $10. You can't lose. Okay. Go ahead, Jordan. I do want to ask Matt. I don't know how, how on red it you are or just when you're just aimlessly, you know, surfing for something while you're waiting for food to come. Yeah. Do you, do you have a place on the internet you like to go to just look at random shit? I mean, I, I, I am on Reddit, but I sort of like am pretty intentional with like the subreddits that I'm following. So it'll be a lot of like our slash Eldon ring, for example. Sure. I'm just going, people are chilling there. People in there are pretty chill. I'm just like watching like gameplay clips of people like just getting owned or doing the owning themselves. Right. Uh, so it's a lot of like video game subreddits. I'm trying to think if there is one, I, I was a big fan of our slash obscure media for

6:13a while. Yeah. I've had some fun on there. There's showing me a video I could have never seen before. That's like a, that's like where they'll post like the, the, the less famous equivalent of that video where the friends from friends are talking about Windows 95. Yeah. It'll be stuff like that or it'll be like a training video for like a regional Taco Bell or something. Yeah. You get a lot of like training videos. But once a year they post the pilot that Conan O'Brien wrote for Adam West. Oh, look, well, yeah. That's what I just watched that from our slash obscure media. No, I was just watching on YouTube. I was just thinking about it. I'm like, I'm gonna go back and watch that. Yeah. Yeah. That, that kind of thing pops up there a lot. That's great. Um, the art slash model trains has a lot of fun. This post I will warn you has a little bit of a baby shoes for sale. Never worn. Okay. It has a tragic and a darkness. Yeah. Okay. We do get more information here. Prepare yourself for, um, you know, there's a darkness of the end of town.

7:18Sure. Uh, born in the USA. This, this is, this the title of this post is, has your ex wife tried to take your trains of the divorce? Has your ex wife tried to take your trains in the divorce? Uh, a little more information here. Well, fellas dot, dot, dot, and he's right to say fellas. Yeah. Yes. He knows who, you know, who's there. There might be a couple NBC there. Could, yeah, it could be, could be, but largely overwhelmingly fellas. Yeah. Well, fellas, I'm sorry to say my worst nightmare has finally come true. I know that she has no interest in the actual art I've created and she's only trying to maximize emotional damage. Anybody been in a similar situation or have any helpful advice? Uh-huh. So this guy is going through a divorce and this woman who doesn't care about his art. And perhaps I'll go out on a limb has been annoyed by it or inconvenienced by it during

8:20their marriage. Sure. I mean, I think it's fair to say it's taken over a whole part of the house. Sure. There's, there's a portion of the house that's gone, uh, that just, you can't use for other things. Um, and she's taking the trains. Now the fellas, um, and one or two NBs of our slash model trains by and large are being fucking great about this. I love it. They're just, they're like, Hey, it's just trains. It's just trains. It doesn't matter, you know, move on. And this is their community. They're being like, Hey, it's not that big a deal. These are our favorite thing. It's fine. It's like in our slash male living spaces when somebody posts like just a really fucking dire picture, just a truly dire picture. And then underneath it says in the military for 10 years, homeless for two, just got a new place. And you're, and everybody is like, man, awesome. Wait a minute. Right.

9:21Looks good, King. One day at a time. Yeah. Like I love your dog. I do just, I did just remember a good subreddit, our slash like TV too high. It's like people have that's not TVs. And it's like, you know, you know, you know, when you see it immediately and it's immediately embarrassing. Yeah. It's really good. Oh, but it's just a little too high to barely to. Oh, yeah. I have seen some though. We were like, what's that doing all the way up there? Like, sure. What is this? Doctor's office waiting room. There's one response in this. It's a little long. I feel like it's worth a read. Please. Jordan, give it everything you got. I will. Thank you. I don't, it's a little long, but I think it's worth it. Jordan, yeah. If you're going to do this, okay. Make it count. I got to give it everything I got. I'm here to win. I am not going home tonight. You don't have a go home to go home to. Right. It's a bitch ex wife took all you, sir.

10:22You don't even got a caboose to live in. Oh, boy. I mentioned we should have a caboose to live in. I was, you ever wish you were tiny. You didn't live in. I guess. I was just wondering. I was wondering, you want to live in the little town you've created? I was watching miniature wife and I got to thinking. Hey. Can I tell you what, can I tell you what I like to say on this show? Please. It's just a little bit of advice for you. Yeah. Just remember, you need your wife, you need your life. Yes. Yes. Yes. How have I never heard that before? Happy miniature wife. So happy. Happy miniature life. I'm going to go say that to my wife when I get older. I'm sure she's thinking that. I mean, she's not that tall. Daddy, she's smaller than me. It's OK. And I'm a little guy. You're a little guy. All right, Jordan. OK. Rip and run. That's what I say. Let's hear this thing. Get everything. Oh, boy. Have I been here? Have I been here through things ended up working out in an unexpected way? We're here. 12 years ago, my second wife decided she wanted to become more active and took up tennis. She had me paying for these private lessons

11:22with the coach twice a week. Well, needless to say, I was paying for this guy, hand over fist, and they weren't playing a lot of tennis. Let me tell you, when she decided she wanted to force things got ugly and fast. While we were dividing up asses, things became petty. And she tried to take every train I had along with all of my Gundams. To be fair, I had tried to strong arm my way into getting her collection of mini-mouse ears, both chairs of the Disney Vacation Club and her healing crystals or whatever. Well, long story short, she just whined. Did you say both chairs of the Disney Vacation Club? To both chairs of the Disney Vacation Club. They can't do no. Now, this train guy is also a Disney adult. Important to know. I need those ears. Well, long story short, she's wind her way into getting the whole collection and the judge sided with her even though she didn't even know a caboose from a steam engine. Fucking sick burn. They go in different ends of the train. Yeah. Well, that's how little she knows about train. I can't wonder if she even is a lady if she's fucking this tennis instructor instead of her own husband. Three years later, I'm burning the candle at both ends

12:23to pay Alimony and Rhett, because things have really gotten off the rails. That's fun, rails. Oh. I had become depressed. It was spending a lot of money on my wife's cubo scripture. Yeah. My engine to keep living had run out. She was fucking her tennis trainer. I had become depressed and was spending a lot of. This guy's a no breaks man. Yes. I'm running out of steam. I don't like this bit. Well, it's not funny. We're just saying things. I'm having fun, but it's not good. No, no, no, there's fun and then there's good. Sure. And they're both on two separate aisles. Yes, absolutely. They don't even know the other one exists. They're just cut off. Anyway, yeah, hello, good. Hello, fun.

13:24Sure. Hello, the pit. I'm a, I'm a YouTube video about improv. So the pit is fun. Yes. And the video about improv is good. Three years later, I'm burning the candle at both ends to pay alimony and Rhett and things have really gone off the rails. I had become depressed and was spending a lot of money on pornography. I know I know I was the local farmer's market where I'd go to pick up chicks when what do you know I ran into her? We got small talking in a civil enough manner and I asked her how much did she ever end up getting for the trains? Well, it turns out she never sold them and had become somewhat of a fomer herself. It's people who shaped the foam into little mountains and stuff. Are you used to your sure it's not people that foam at the mouth? Don't think so. Christian, can you look up the foam or for us? Thank you. I'll finish this. I asked her if I could see them. And the next thing you know, I met her place and there's some locomotion. Let me tell you things smoothed over and we actually ended up reconciling over the trains. We've been back together since 2017 and these have been the best years of my life. Trains can be a powerful vehicle for healing, understanding and mutual respect.

14:29This is fucking awesome. Now, did it happen? Maybe some of it happened. The part we got divorced and the other stuff didn't happen. Yeah. But the rest of this was typed in like a padded room or something. This might have been generated by some kind of pornography AI that he was paying a lot of money for. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. That's what he said about the pornography. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. Don't come for me. Sure. I'm already coming for me because I'm spending all this money on porno. Hello, good. Hey, fun. We're over here. Yeah. I know. Hi, fun. Yeah. Christian, do you have any information in an offshore boat? Called interesting. That's interesting. Christian, what do we got? I have two things to say. Yeah. Oh, no. No, no. That big one.

15:31Fomers is because of their foaming at the mouth. They're rabid for trains. They're horny for trains. But I also wanted to say that I'm reading the same thread that you hold on Christian. Yeah. Yeah. I know I'm kind of feeling like I'm not sure I can trust you on the rest of the stuff. Yeah. Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I was wrong about fomers. I thought it was people who made the little models out of foam, like the hills and anyway. I'm wrong. Apparently, it's a mean term. Of course it's R-slash trains. Not model trains. It's just R-slash trains. OK. And that is it. There's a, I feel like a discernible difference because like, you can go on like R-slash gamers and R-slash gaming to completely different vibes talking about the exact same thing. Shout out to R-slash MLB and R-slash baseball. Oh, sure. There's people in R-slash baseball, like they swear they're like this fucking subreddit is for discussing the best way to throw a slider.

16:32Yeah. And then everyone else is just like, here's a video of show Hayotani. But the other day somebody put, there's a new women's professional baseball league. Somebody posted some highlights in there. And somebody was, you know, when someone posted thing about women's sports and not specific to women's sports venue, a lot of people in normal. Yeah, a lot of people get weird. Somebody was talking shit and they were like, get out of my fucking subreddit and somebody was like, I think you're in the wrong subreddit because this is R-slash baseball and that's what they're playing in this clip. That's good stuff. I love that. There you go. Can I argue with the fact? You can. That's just a real talk. Speaking of. Anyway, was there anything else you were lying about or? No, apparently just that. Any other yarns you want to spin over there too? Any other cute eyes you want to tell us about what foamer means? Christian, is there a number two? I think I'm Italy, but I'm sorry. I thought I had this figure now. I'll take you in a notes app. Thank you. Wow. Just screen catch that a while.

17:36Couple of days. Yeah. Yeah. I've been listening and learning. Yeah. I'm going to be quiet for a while. You won't hear from me for three days. Until I emerge and I'm doing stand up now. Right. Until I win a Grammy. You won't hear from me until I play the Hollywood Bowl for I am a cancelled man. The second thing I want to play. Oh, yes, two things. All right. I'll just reply to this comment. And as I thought it was good words of wisdom from grinning dog, grinning underscore dog. Sometimes you take the train and sometimes the train takes you. Wow. Wow. Wow. And sometimes come on ride the train. Come on and ride. Yeah. True, true. As the Venga boys once said. So, Vietrusha train takes you. That's sort of the bridge between. Good hand fucks the Yakov boys. That famous Wendy's dad's pop group.

18:41I hope this did happen. Me too. I like that it had me. Even if it's fake. Who doesn't love? Who doesn't love a resolution like that? I know. It's perfect. I feel like even if this is just the worst kind of AI slop lie. At least it's the uplifting kind and not the kind that just says like Somalis are stealing public benefits. Yeah. Sure. Maybe we'll see this very plot up here in one of these fruit videos. Have you guys seen these fruit videos? I have seen these. Yes. The AI fruit videos. Yes. This is a vertical, right? That's what this is. Yeah. I don't always be like, you know, some like it's always a pair of fruit and then they have like a baby and then the baby is a different fruit. And that's always some sort of, you know, that's always a cause of some sort of conflict because they're like, okay, like you somebody stepped out on somebody. Right. So these are like, these are anthropomorphic fruits, but they're having these like melodramas. Yes.

19:42And nothing fun. There's no fruit puns in it. No. But sometimes they'll be like, their names will be like Strabalina or some sure. Is it, but that's related to the fake Italian talk that children like for a while. Oh, like the tomb tomb. Yeah, it is sort of like, it feels like an off-short that I did see one about baseball. And it was like a baseball bat and baseball family and they were dressed as the podraes. And they're like, this is a podrae's house. We do not, you're only ever going to play for the podraes. And then this kid grows up, he's playing baseball. He gets scouted from the dang Dodgers. And it's a big deal. It's a big deal. All right. This AI baseball family was not taking that well. Honestly, the biggest deal to me, fruit playing baseball. Well, it's because normally that's something people do. Right. And the occasional golden retriever. Yeah, well, yeah, there's no rule against it. The rule book says, banana can play baseball. Man, they got these in minor league baseball.

20:44A lot of minor league baseball teams, they got dogs to bring the balls to the umpires. Love that. We all love it until this year, a guy tripped over the dog and had a seat. He's an engineer. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Dogs find dogs find dogs find dogs find dogs. They put the dog down person. Not sure. A dog immediately put down. Exit public execute. So many just pitching machine somebody awful somebody ran on the field with a giant net on a stick. Yeah. Right. Okay, let's take a quick break. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. It's Jordan Jessica. I am Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart. And every single episode of Jordan Jessica is brought to you the person listening right now by you, the person listening right now.

21:46If you're a member of maximum fun, if you are not a member of maximum fun and you're listening right now, it's easy to join. Go to maximumfund.org slash join JJ go and you'll be a member at the five dollar a month level almost instantly. I mean, I'm talking about a snap of the fingers. That's maximumfund.org slash join JJ go and you will get access to lots of bonus content. We are also supported this week by our friends at factor. I will tell you what. I am in the middle of moving and when you are moving, everything is all over everywhere and you do not know what is going on in your life and you forget to eat or you forget where your food is or things spoil and guess what factor is your friend. It is simple good food that is already prepared and ready for you to heat and eat. I'm talking about stuff like salmon burgers, shredded pork, collard greens, plus add-ons,

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23:50If you're in Southern California, you can stop by on Saturday, September 12th, starting at 9 a.m. and the best way to get there is just go to video tech and you will see us in our signs. Go to video tech and basically Highland Park, Lincoln Heights, Cypress Park, North East Los Angeles, stop by, say hi and buy some sporting goods that I don't want to bring with me and other stuff, antiques. Anybody need a better dining room table? I got to get rid of both of those. Okay. See you Saturday, September 12th. Again, go to video tech and look around 360 degrees. You'll spot us and we'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jessica. It's Jordan Jesse Goh.

24:51I'm Jesse foreign America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. Manopodaka, sipping a nice cold glass of water. In these times? I saw a Christian gave you cubes. I'm concerned about Mike Nois. I know because here's the thing too. I'm a bit of an ice crusher and I'm going to try to not to get it in there because I just chew on ice and I know I'm not supposed to. One, because we're talking to microphones. Two, teeth. That's supposed to do that. You're not supposed to do it because you're teeth. My dentist is always chewing on ice and like yeah, all the time. They're always like, yeah, stop doing that. I love your dentist stuff. Your dentist says that to you? The things that they notice shock me. Do you have a DDS degree? That's not your goddamn business Jesse. We're not talking about who we voted for. We're not talking about where our dentist went to school. I believe they do, but I'm also in the middle of switching dentists because your dentist was busy running for mayor of Los Angeles. My dentist was from an AI video.

25:51He did not talk about being a banana. He just called me Cuh. Yeah. Oh, God. How are things over there? Right, further away. Christian has an important FOMER update. Christian, what's the FOMER update? So FOMER is a slur basically for people like the actual like to term I guess that they like to call themselves is rail fan. Who's not a fan of getting railed? That's what I'm talking about. That's my ex-wife. I've never been married. I had a, and if I was married and I did get a divorce, I would wish her the best. That's right. We're still friends and dedicated to co-parenting the children we never had. You know what Jordan? I am married and I still wish my wife the best. That's great. And this is wonderful man. This is like, that's like, it's good.

26:51I just, you know, I've been married now almost two years. That's, thank you so much. That's, you know, sometimes when you're new, you got to see stuff like that. That's huge. That's huge. I remember the young guys out there, they're married now. Yeah. I was sure you were going to say, I have a Pokemon tattoo. Yeah. And I still have a wife. That is true. Oh no. Oh my God. Hold on. Unfortunately, that's the newest one. It's a little tough. Jesse also has a Kingdom Hearts tattoo. Yeah, I mean, I was looking, actually looking at the available space that I have because I think something that I think about is that there's just actually not enough skin for the amount of skin, buddy. I got to get some more skin. But every time I'm thinking about getting a tattoo, I'm always telling my wife that I want to get a lot, like a lot more. And she always very sweetly sort of talks me into, how about just one for this time? Just like, just one. You don't got to go, you don't got to go now. And you know, you got to get hard otherwise.

27:52Yeah. I got to have a long conversation with a stranger. Well, they're working. Right. I know what I like. Fathering someone to work. I'm glad that your enthusiasm came up on the program. And I'll tell you why. I have been spending a lot of time in Glendale, California with my friend Kyle, the general manager of the Warhammer 40K store. Okay, great. Yeah. A my nine-year-old obsessed with Warhammer 40K. Awesome. You go there by a little tiny guy for $40. Yeah. And then hang out with the adult man who paint their figurines there. And I, as I've said on this program before, couldn't support it more enthusiastically. All of these people are the fucking sweetest. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It is such a sweet and lovely place for my nine-year-old to spend time. Because he really puts a lot of attention into these and a lot of care and has been

28:53gaining a lot of new skills from doing it. It's wonderful. Now, that said, Warhammer, there's a lot of little guys. Yeah. And then in addition to there being a lot of little guys, there's a lot of proprietary paints that you use to paint the little tiny guys. So the guys coming pieces, you glue the pieces to get. I mean, you would know this from your ex-wife's Gundam collection. She didn't get in my Gundam, so I'll tell you that. But... Oh, burn them. Oh, burn them first. You glue the little pieces of the guys together. Yeah. And then you paint the little guys. Yeah. And you use the proprietary Warhammer paint and there's opaque paints and translucent paints. There's matte and gloss finishes. There's all different kinds of paints. And each of the paints, there's a whole wall of paints. And that entire wall of paints, each paint has its own name.

29:55And so that's why I'm going to have the two of you play this game that is called Fun Little Guy, Fun Guy, or Fun from this guy. Okay. I like this. Hell yeah. So we're talking about fun earlier. So this is a nice little tie. I'm very aware of fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What you'll get is a list of three names. One will be the name of a type of proprietary Warhammer paint. One will be the name of a mushroom or fungus or like an or moth. Sure. One will be some shit I made up. I love it. Because you're having fun. And you're... Because I'm having fun. It's a fun thing from this guy. Yeah. Okay. So your job is to identify which is a paint, which is a fungus, and which is some shit I made up. Hell yeah. Makes sense, man. It makes perfect sense to me. Christian, are you ready to keep score because I'm not?

30:55Uh, yes. Okay. He said yes. He was so busy being ready that he didn't turn on his microphone, but we heard him. It's already he was. We heard him from down there saying yes. Matt, since you're the guest here, I think I'm going to give you the chance to go first. Great. Here are your choices. Which is butter, Nurgles rot, titties twist. Mmm. Tough. Which is rot is the... That's not one of the choices. Which is butter... Which is butter. Or Nurgles rot. Okay. Which is butter is the mushroom. Nurgles rot is the paint, and titties twist is the fun thing you made up. That's what I would have been my guest to, man. You know what, Jordan? Matt's right. Three out of three. Wow. Strong. Hell yes. Hell yes. Now you think you're pretty smart, Jordan. Oh, I do. You think you're hot shit. Oh, yeah. You're over there on smart island. That's true. Yeah. With Diane Raim. Mmm.

31:56I mean, an Audi Cornage feeding each other coconuts. Get me to that island. Sorry, too dumb. I wish I could. Please get me over there. Well, okay. My friend Neil deGrasse Tyson recently passed away. So there's a spot. I think he's fun. The next time I interviewed Audi Cornage and then I accidentally got her mad at me. Oh, no. And then just like for years afterwards, people were like that asshole, the fucking idiot that got Audi Cornage mad at him. Anyway. Yeah. Okay. So you read the much simpler such hot shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mr. Smarty pants. Oh, yeah. Screaming. Screaming bell. Uh-huh. Destroying angel. Uh-huh. Screaming bell. I believe it's the fungus. Destroying angel. I believe it's the paint. It's pretty metal, pretty, you know, dark heavy metal fantasy.

33:02And the last thing. Fapping that. Fapping that. Thank you. I believe that. That's the Jordan one he was talking about. Okay. And also earlier today. He says, he's meant a lot. I'm not even pornography. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Fuck up, I know. There's just no way to get it for free. There's no. I have no imagination. I can't think of anything to check off through. Jordan Screaming Bell is a paint. Oh my gosh. And destroying angel is a fungus. Really? Man. Fapping lad is indeed something I made up. Or it's more of a, it's the title of my autobiography. Sure. Yeah. Uh-huh. Wow. I fucking blew it. I'm just going to. One minute. Oh boy. We got some videos, the pics of mushrooms up there. Yeah. Destroying angel. Are they gross? I don't want anything to do with that. If I saw one of those, I'd kick it.

34:02Kick it away. I mean, can I say one thing about I'm looking at this thing? You know what I'm the first thing I'm thinking? Without a base, without a trace. Yeah. Those look like butt plugs. Oh, they do. Oh, they do. Oh, they do. Oh, they do. They're like the butt. Oh, they look like the butt. Jordan's new character, the butt plug, I don't know. Oh yeah. Actually killing me. Oh, yeah. I'm dumb enough to love that. Well, I got a pie gift for you, the one you're on. I have to wait to go back and listen to this shit. Oh, you're going to be cracking up the car later. Okay. Here are your choices, Matt. Hell yeah. Bleeding tooth. Port noise complaint. Rat skin flesh. Rat skin flesh is the paint. Port noise complaint is the fun thing you made up. And the first one is the mushroom.

35:06Bleeding tooth is a mushroom. Rat skin flesh is a paint. And port noise complaint is an acclaimed novel by Philip Roth. Three out of three from Matt Oppadaca. Damn, I'm looking good. Duke Newcomps here. Oh, baby, something from Evil Dead. Take your pick. Christian, can you say shit from Evil Dead? And Duke Newcomy just said other people's catchphrases anyway. It is very funny that he just is like, I say this now. Yeah, but you have a devil too. That's my thing. I am not a crook. Port noise complaint. Saying titles of blood. I thought that was like when he takes a bite of the pizza and doesn't like it. Christian, can you confirm I believe that gives Matt Oppadaca commanding six to one lead? Is that correct? Yeah, I gave Jordan an extra point because he looks nice today. Oh, thank you, Christian.

36:07That's really nice, Christian. I don't remember giving you that power, but... And you kind of have to then kind of have to do that for everybody. Because I kind of feel like it's not fair. Do you not feel like Matt Oppadaca looks nice today? Hmm. Okay. That's tough. I think that's Christian being real with you. I don't really, I respect it because my man's got that shit on. So I have to then, you know, I have to sort of take what I, you know, what I can get. I'll, you know, maybe I didn't earn it today. Oh, what's that sound? Oh, that's Jordan's fucking drip. Oh, he's always. I think he's the crowd. Christian was setting me up to say that I am wearing the Stankus the Rat T-shirt that you can buy at maxfundstort.com from our collaboration with the Stankus boy. Yeah, from the Stankus boy's XJJ GoCollect. Maxfundstort.com. It is a nice shirt. Hell yeah, it's a great shirt. Thank you. It's got a cool S on it. Jordan, you ready to catch back up? I am ready. Okay. Here are your choices. The Fang. Mm-hmm. Harry Curtin crust. Mm-hmm. Arthur Fonzarelli.

37:07Okay. Harry Curtin crust, I think, is the mushroom. Arthur Fonzarelli is the thing you made up. I mean, that's like the Fonz's legal name. Mm-hmm. And was the first thing? I think the first thing was the Fang. I think the Fang is the paint. That's three out of three, Jordan. Okay. We're back, baby. We're back, baby. We're back, baby. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back. Duke Newcombe said that, not John Wick. Cowabunga. Homer. I mean, it's incredible that Duke Newcombe anticipated John Wick's death frame. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to say that I said this. And I guess I did. And it's going to be a guy. Later. A guy will... You got a reason to have a comeback. Okay, you ready? I'm ready. Okay. Wolf's milk. Garagax sewer.

38:07Fatty's Bong rip. Okay. I'm going to go mushroom paint fun. You know, there's a part of me that thinks I should have anticipated that Matt Apidaca would run the fucking table. Oh my God. Three out of three again for Matt Apidaca. Wolf's milk is indeed a mushroom. Garagax sewer is a paint. And Fatty's Bong rip is just me having a fond memory of a time that my friend Tyler was driving us down from the UCSC campus to downtown Santa Cruz. Yeah. We took on a hit triker and he was quiet for a while and then he said, so do you guys pull fat Bong rips? That's what a cool guy. What was it? What was the... Had the conversation go after that? I don't know that any of us pulled fat Bong rips at the time. Not to his satisfaction. But that rip wasn't fat enough.

39:08I'm kidding. I'm walking. But you said you... He just had such a purely positive attitude about it. And it had been clear that he had spent some time considering what a good opening line would be. Because he was quiet for two, three, four minutes. It wasn't like he got in or he made the roll down the window motion. One of us rolled down the window and he said, hey, do you guys pull fatty Bong rips? Yeah. That could have been the first thing he said. And he was like, oh, no, sorry, I did not pick him up or whatever. But it was the first thing he said. I guess it was weird. It was just quite a while to say. He was working at the courage. He probably said thanks. Hey, thanks for the ride. Yeah, it was pretty gracious. By the way. Okay, Jordan. Yeah. Back to you. What do we got? Nip slicer. Pox Walker. Uh-huh. Dead man's fingers. Okay. I have a pretty clear feeling of where I want to go for this.

40:09Something, man, but not just got a pretty clear feeling of what it would be like to be nips sliced. Yowch. No thanks. That's going to leave him on. They're sensitive. I mean, they're sensitive. They're sensitive. They're sensitive. They're sensitive. Homer. Galabonga. I'm Bart. I don't really know anything about Duke Nuke. Don't come after Wolfen's 9.3D. You're doing it. You don't need to know. You can say someone else's catch for it. You can just say shit. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Nip slicer. Oh, that's what a podcast is. There you go. Saying that you're fine. You're doing the bit. I understand. Because I know what podcast is. That's right. Yes. Nip slicer. Thing you made up. Second thing. Pox Walker. I think that is the paint. Uh-huh. And the third thing is. Dead man's fingers. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a shroom. Uh-huh. Can I just say a one? A two. A three points for Jordan. Yeah. We're back, baby. Right.

41:09And I'm not going to lie. Dead man's fingers looks upsettingly like the fingers of a dead man. Yeah. Yeah. They look like they're crawling out of, you know, climbing out of the ground. Right. Reaching out from the depths. Like a character from the evil dead. Yes. Or those hand things, Jordan would know from, uh, from, from Elden Ring. Those big hand things. They walk around like spiders, but the big hands. I hate those freaks. Sick. And they actually disgusting. And they have ostentatious rings. How rude of them. How rude to. Yes. It's definitely an ostentatious ring that fires a laser beam at you. Anyway. It's the great game. I thought we were talking about Elden Ring and not Skyrim that I know about. Oh, I don't know. You know, because I actually don't know Skyrim. I don't need it. Get some Skyrim stuff if you want to. Yeah. I don't really want it. We don't kind of know what. We understand the general vibe of it. It'd be really cool and fun for you, I think, to play Elden Ring. I think it'd be, it'd be a really fun thing for you to talk about. It sounds too hard. It is hard, but it becomes, um, probably get, yeah.

42:09You might get, oh shoot. You might have a skill issue. You might, you might have to get good. But spelled G-I-T-G-U-G. Yeah. Sounds like a skill issue. Yeah. I do have a skill issue. On the, like, Elden Ring subreddit, if someone is asking for advice, like, that's the big... Is there, is my build wrong? It looks like a skill issue. That's the biggest, dick thing you can say to me. Yeah, yeah. You know what? You know my skill issue is? What? It's a hard time identifying mechletorus. Ah. Well, don't worry about it because it's not real from what I understand. I've been talking to somebody, my train running, buddy. You've read my ebook, Matt. Thanks for reading my ebook. My self-bubbly ebook about how the clitoris is fake. Let's talk about rail fans. What is the score right now, Christian? Matt has nine. Uh-huh. Jordan has seven.

43:09Wow. I think that's the point of way. What's crazy about this is that this is the last question. And you would think that it would be for Matt because Matt is the one that, because Jordan just went. Right. But the last question doubles back. Wow. Okay, that's the last question doubles back. So you can go fuck yourself. I'm Matt. I'm out of here. I can't. I can't. I can't. He's leaving. Take it off the headphones. Come on, Gallagher. Can I just say, Matt, first of all, this is art. This is art. I'm going to say your podcast lore. Getting into some podcast lore here. I just want to say, Matt, sorry, but Jordan and I have been fucking friends since college. And that's bad. And that's bad. Hey, look, and I like what I see. Oh, yeah. So, Jordan, Yes. I'm going to give you last clicks. Oh, yeah.

44:09Don't make me jealous. Slurps. Slurps. I know you're a bit of a farmer. I'm a bit of a farmer, which apparently means I'm foaming at the mouth for trains and not shaping scenery out of foam. And I now, like, the fact that it's like a quote unquote, like slur in their community, I'm sort of like, I kind of get it. Yeah. I would hate to be called a farmer. I guess I would, too. Yeah. Called a rail fan. But I feel like I've heard it non-pejoratively. Like, I think maybe it's just like a thing that people have taken on and like, they're saying it. And then maybe they don't know that it's not their preferred nomenclature. Now, our old friend, Davey Rothbard, a creator of Found Magazine. Okay. Once found at a cassette tape in like an answering machine or something in a thrift store, somebody sent it in. What a gift. And it was like a 12-year-old girl's audio diary from the late 70s. Mm-hmm. And the part that I remember most vividly from this cassette tape is just at one point the girl goes,

45:12Oh, gee. I'm a nut. A real born nut. Mm-hmm. And you know what? I think that when the fomors are calling themselves fomors, what they're really saying is, Oh, gee, I'm a nut. I'm a nut. A real born nut. Mm-hmm. I love that. A real born nut. Yeah. Oh, gee. A little girl voice. Oh, gee, I'm a nut. A real born nut. And committing it to tape. Sure. I think about it all the time. It's so sweet. It's the only thing that can compete in my head with that part from the documentary spellbound where the kid says, Do I sound like a musical robot? Some great deliveries. You know, there's some all-time great deliveries. Sometimes kids are cool. Yeah. Hell yeah. All right, Jordan. Yeah. This is for all the marbles. By all the marbles, I mean, the shockingly expensive tiny vials of paint. Yes.

46:12I really do. I can I just emphasize, you know, a Kyle might be listening to this. Yeah. What a lovely place the Glendale Warhammer story is. I'm sure it sounds great. That's like a world that I would like to be part of. I just know I don't need another thing like that in my, sure. In just like a thing filled, filled, filled life. Yes. Yeah. I just started, I'm like dabbling, getting into magic, the gathering. Oh, yeah. And that feels dangerous. That really just feels like I shouldn't be doing that. Pretty soon you're going to be a regular John Darniel. You're going to be upset about land destroying decks or whatever they're called. I, I built a, I just built a deck off of a card from the final fantasy set based on, you know, from Final Fantasy X, I built an entire deck around. Yeah. Because like, what was I supposed to do? Not do that? Yeah. You're supposed to do it, Matt. I did it. I got to do the same thing. I do, I do like all those, and now in the world of magic, Jess. They go like Spider-Man magic cards. Yeah. That to me was very appealing.

47:12I, that, that is what might get me. I don't know if it'll, if it will happen, I do like to purve out over that art sometimes. The art is very noticeable. It's very purve. Why know? I know. I know, I know. Anyway, but yeah, those licensed magic cards are really cool to me. Yeah. It's nuts. I feel like Star Wars card game cards. And I think there was a Star Trek one too. You might be right. This was like at the dawn of this phenomenon. It was like magic cards was what other, was what we had in sixth and seventh grade. And I feel like in eighth grade, it switched to Star Trek and Star Wars cards. Yeah. And then those, those was like, when I went. After that, I went to Arts High School. Okay, great. Yeah. And I think now, the first mic making out with girls. Now, I think that like instead of, if I'm correct me if I'm wrong, instead of creating your own collectible card game, you just have to get absorbed into the magic of sphere. It's the same with like Fortnite. There used to be like so many licensed video games where you would put, you know,

48:13these characters from movies and TV in their own video game. And now it's like just licensed the skin to Fortnite. So Ariana Grande can shoot them with a shotgun. Exactly. It's crazy. Yeah, I'm so mad. I just feel like it stole my dream of playing an American dad themed platform. Yeah. If only the stand plays different than Roger. Rogers has floaty controls. Right. Yes. Shout out to Matt Apidaka for naming characters from America. He did it. I would have just been like, yeah, well, I mean the controls of American dad are different from the foreign dads. Italian dad. They're DLC. You can't, you can't, they're not in the base game. You have to pay it on lock. Yeah. It's the ultimate edition. 80 bucks. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what with these, with this art on these spider man collectible card game cards. I have to do it a few micro transactions.

49:14Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Okay, Jordan, you ready? Yeah. Golden Griffin, Scarlet Elf Cup, Crystal Pepsi. Golden Griffin. That's correct. Is the mushroom Scarlet Elf Cup. Oh, well, maybe the golden Griffin is the paint Scarlet Elf Cup is the mushroom. And what's the last thing? Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi. It's like a clear Pepsi. It's the choice of a new generation. Yeah, it's otherwise. For now, almost identical to the other Pepsi. Maybe it was like a little fruity or something? Maybe. Maybe they use sugar instead of corn syrup. Maybe. I can't remember, maybe. But I think that's the one you made up. Mad Opadaka. Let us have it, Jesse. Come on. We're on pins and needles. Jordan just kicked you square. Oh, just as I got a whole extra turn.

50:15That's all it took. That's why I'm friends with Jordan. Yeah, and I'm not friends with Mad Opadaka. Hold on. We'll be back in just a second. Jordan just crying. He's crying. Oh, God. We're friends, man. Hey, I love it. He loves it. Well, gang, is that time a year again? That's right. Labor Day is here, which means you can't wear white anymore. No. Well, yes, but no. It's great British Bake Off season. Oh, right. And that means it's time to draft your teams and play along. There's a new judge in town, but the game's the same. Draft your bakers, score points like it's fantasy football, and talk smacky of group chats. I wonder what Nigella Lawson would think about the script will double. So, listen to TV Chef Fantasy League with me, Mike Cavillan. If you want, anyway.

51:15And Sierra Cotto. I'm gonna stop episodes every week at MaximumFund.org, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I am Jesse Thorne America's Radio Sweat-O-D. Jordan Morris. Boy Detective. And I'm Man of Adaka, and I'm still friends with everybody. We're all still friends. You know what? We're all three of us friends. Friends? Even three are we. Even those of us with skill problems. Sure. Yeah, I lost the game. Well, here's the thing, I didn't lose the game because of a skill issue, actually. You lost because of cheating. The rules big fuck that. Yeah, yeah. Trump called the president of FIFA and had shit change. And now I lost. Yeah. Matt, I just checked the memes and I'm pretty sure you got powned. Ah, that's in the memes? That's in the memes. It made it all lead to the memes already? Yeah, the memes are reading going off.

52:15That sucks. Reading memes is the new reading runes. Yes. Memes are sort of the runes of our day, are they not? That's a really good point. Well, put my shirt. I'm wearing a pointy cap with moons and stars. Welcome to Smart Island. You've passed your tests. Gina Davis will show you where to get your robe. I feel like everything I learned about Gina Davis, I can't get it off. I love every new piece of information I get out of it. She's immensely intelligent. Is there an area on Smart Island for archery? There is, yeah. With Gina? Yeah. There wasn't before she was there. Yeah, yeah. Before there was just an area for all of the Smart Owls to shit. No. Owls are really smart. They're all wearing their little cap. Graduate cap? Graduate cap? They still drop all those pellets, though. You remember when you had to dissect one of those in anatomy and in school?

53:18Yes. Kind of nasty, right? Pretty nasty. It's touching poop? That was in a mouth, an owl's fucking mouth. Yeah. Yuck. What I can say, yuck. One of my favorite of other people's jokes was an old Kevin Neal in joke where he said he and his son went hiking and his son was in boy scouts and they found some deer scat and they knew that if they dissected it, they could find out what the deer eats and it turns out a deer eats leaves, berries, but mostly shit. It's great joke. It's great joke. Kevin Neal and funny guy. Really funny guy. Christian, when something momentous happens to our listeners, we ask them to record a voice memo and send it to us at jjgoatmaximumfun.org or just give us a call at 206-984-4 fun using their landline telephone. Christian, what do we got? We have two calls. Okay, well let's hear one. Let's see how it goes. Hello, Jordan Jesse and Jess, I'm going to go with classic X-Men writer Chris Claremont.

54:22Close. This is Anity from Brooklyn, she's her pronouns and I have a moment vacation fitness in August that we're experiencing right now. I guess we're probably about seven years after I first brought it up. My spouse and I finally looked at some strap on dildos on an adult e-commerce website, got overwhelmed and didn't borrow one. But hey, you know, baby, step for something. Adult stuff. Hard to block. Hard to block. Hard as a rock. White as a river. Totally true. Bye. Andy, you're doing great work out there. Congratulations. Well, I have, you have notes? Yeah, not notes, but I'm just like, do you have to use the e-commerce sites when there are local sex shops? I look out of business. So, Jordan, I'm so glad that you brought this up because obviously, adult triple X, right,

55:23just a few stores down, which has a variety of other names as well, is either out of business or possibly just renovating. Okay. Yeah. Could just be renovating. It's either out of business or renovating. I mean, local sex shops are such an important part of the economy. But I just want to say, what is the point of living in one of America's greater urban centers or even living in one of America's hip college towns? Yeah. Having all of these friendly lesbians and not patronizing their well lit sex stores. Yeah. I don't know if we know where our caller was calling from. I mean, we can assume maybe fun island. Fun island? I mean, sounds like it. Honestly. She's swimming out there. Yeah. She's headed out to fun islands. Yeah. I want to say, like, I think most of our listeners live within driving distance of a well lit

56:28sex shop owned by friendly and helpful lesbians. Yes. And these lesbians are going to be 7,000 times more helpful when you're trying not to get overwhelmed by strap on dildos than any fucking quad AI website. Thank you. We're just a banana guy is telling you what dildo to buy. Just not even talking about being a banana. He's just like trying to get you to buy this damn food. Yeah. I don't know. This banana guy has a certain appeal. Okay. Jesse? Fuck yes. Hell yes. We made it. Welcome to the dark side. I'm with friends with an appetite. Yeah. Hell, man. Let's take one more call. Hey, Jordan, Jesse and guest. I'm going to guess Ozzie's bone yard host Shannon guns. This is James and San Antonio. I'm calling for your famous segment. Serious XM hosts that sound like they've given up.

57:31Like Jordan, I bought a car recently that came with the free trial. I think I'm going to extend it another three months. I was listening to Willie's roadhouse while walking the dog one morning and the DJ came on after a song and said, I don't know what's happening. Somebody turned off all the lights in the studio. I think I'm still on the air. Here's the next one. Love y'all. DJ literally said who turned out the lights? Radio DJs like that. Like there's a lot of celebrity sort of like radio DJs. Right. It used to be more of a more rare fight air, right? Before, you know, you needed to fill out a roster of thousands of channels. There was a time when America's radio stations were filled with like Wolfman Jack style high skill high personality performers who knew how to rhyme their way directly into that post and stop talking just as the lyrics came in on a fog hat. Yeah.

58:32And now it's like people like like I feel like Rick Springfield had a radio station for a while. He's horrible at it. He's so bad on serious XM, which I am now totally obsessed with. Yeah. Yeah. And there's like, there are some really good DJs on it, but you do have a lot of Rick Springfield where someone's like, wouldn't it be fun if we gave this person a radio show? And it turns out it's not fun. They just kind of like shrug and just kind of, yeah, this song's fine. I like it. I like it. Here you go. And it's just like, I don't know. I missed there being like excited people on the radio wanting to share. Like I grew up in Southern California, so I was listening to K-Rock like my whole life. And I just like, I feel like I learned so many cool things from cat corbits. Sure. I learned so much to Richard Blade or Striker. Yeah. Like any of these guys like, you know, Rodney on the Rock late at night. Like any of those you see, Rodney on the Rock is on serious XM now. Yes. He's on, oh gosh, he's on Little Stevens Underground Garage.

59:34Jonesy? From Jonesy's. Jokebox. It's Jonesy's Jokebox. Is he just Jonesy somewhere? I hope, I mean, I hope Jonesy's still with us. Where's Joey Gomez? And also maybe Matt Southern California. Yeah. He's in the Shotgun Tom Kelly on K-Earth 101. K-Earth 101? Los Angeles. Yes. He's also on, he's on 60s on 6. So it's good to hear. Shotgun Kelly, the murder hurt. I just assumed it was the quarterback, but no. Anyway, so you do some of those guys, those, you know, those high skill guys are still out there. But yes, you do have a lot of Rick Springfields. And on Ozzy Sponyard, you definitely have a lot of like, maybe this guy played Basin Rat for an album and now for a while. 50 cent had a channel. No. I think it eventually became the M&M channel. Interesting. Oh, yes. But when 50 cent had a G-Unit Radio channel, it would just be like Tony Yeo's cousin.

1:00:39Great. Great. Be a level of fucking messy that I don't even, and this is now 20 years ago. I guess it was like my ad satellite radio, but a level of messy that I can't even begin to describe that was ultimately, I think, highlighted by the time that I listened to an entire interview by Tony Yeo and some other G-Unit guys of Dan Acroix. Wow. At the House of Blues, they were all live together at the House of Blues. To be a fly on that wall. On the wall of my 82 El Camino as I drove. I want to be in the car. I'm trying to. I'm trying to. I want to be anywhere near the radio station. I got to be in the car. You want to take a little break? We'll be back. There you go. Yeah, I'm going to see what Bunny Whaler has to share for himself. We'll be back in just a second on Jordan Jesse Go. What's more action-packed than prestige television?

1:01:48With more continuity than comic books? A more reality than reality television? It's professional wrestling. And a better understand wrestling is the ultimate form of entertainment. You need the Tights and Fights podcast. This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love, a lack of toxic masculinity, and just the right amount of bots, cats, and spandex. Listen to Tights and Fights every Saturday on Maximum Fun. I'm Jordan Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris Boy Detective. Manopodaka. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Don't you mean, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Damn, I'm looking good. They got to have the cool-aid man in Fortnite, right?

1:02:51Oh, do they have the cool, because everybody's hit boxes have to, the thing that you probably don't know about Fortnite is that every character regardless of their actual size has to be the same size. So when you're shooting at them, it's fair. So it has to be balanced. It has to be balanced. So like Peter Griffin, they make Peter Griffin buff so that his hit box is the same as, like Ariana Grande, as the same as John Wick, as the same as Homer Simpson. They'll do Stewie on like a robot so that he's not little and it has a, you know, there's no disadvantage. Everybody's the same size. These are all just skins. They're all just skins. They're all just skins. Right. But I think, and we've been talking about this on my show, they should get rid of that. I think they should, it should be a little fun to see a little Stewie running around or full-sonic in the game right now, so Sonic, and Sonic is long tall. It's a tall Sonic? Tall Sonic. Are people horny for that? I don't know. They should have just kept Sonic the same height and made him pregnant. Well, they should have just made him pregnant. Yeah, yeah. Talk about a hit box. Yeah, they made him. They made him tall.

1:03:52And you can, we all agree that that doesn't look 100% right? It doesn't look too raw. Yeah, but it's unsettling. It's a little unfortunate, I think. Can I just say, I'm tall. Yeah, I'm six. That's fun. I'm six foot four inches tall. But I'm slow. So leave something for me. Something like, yeah, yeah. Like Sonic is so fucking fast already. He's got to be tall too. Right. How do you feel about chili dogs? I mean, I eat them at standard speed. Yeah. And this is the thing. He's eating them really fast. Yeah, it's like you're just never going to be able to compete with him. Anything. You're right. He's got to leave yourself. So none of us are as good as Sonic. I mean, you like him though. I've had sex with a lady hedgehog, sure. Okay. And I can only, well, I don't know that Sonic has. Sonic's got you beat there. He's kissed a human woman before. Yes. He has his human woman. See, that's what I thought would happen when I went to our high school. No, just a lady hedgehog. All you had to do is be a blue hedgehog that goes fast needs chili dogs.

1:04:54That's all you had to do. Well, Matt, I know I don't think we need to tell our listeners to check out your hit podcast get played. Oh, please. But I think our listeners will probably check out your hit podcast got played, especially since they got a little taste of the kind of Duke Nukem humor that you love to bring to the table. Talking about Sonic kissing, Macking on chicks, we're talking about that. It's all that kind of good stuff. You know, Jordan's been on the show a lot. Such a fun guest spot. Did you know that the song Return of the Mack is about Sonic? It's right. It's about his further dalliances with human women. Yes. Yeah. And you know what? I love that. Do you know what song he puts on lay your head on my pillow by Tony Tony Tony when he's getting ready to back a human woman? That's a hot song. He has a remix that goes lay your head on my pillow human woman. I'm a hair talk.

1:05:57And I'm blue. Tony Tony Tony and Sonic. Mm hmm. I don't know. Get there. Why not? Get Sonic on the remix. Sure. Let's do this. Okay. Anyway, I did. Man is the one of the hosts of Get Place. Yes. All the hosts of the show show other than Heather and Campbell three of the funniest people in the world. I'm very grateful. I'm very grateful. And insightful as well. You got it. And yeah, I think no matter what level of gamer you are. Yes. From a Tetris fiend to an asteroid's nut. You're going to find something to love. On Get Play. I'm a centipede phomer. Oh, Jesse. You're going to love this show. Thanks for having me. I always have so much fun when I cover. This is a true treat to be chopping it up with two of the Titans apocque. Two real fun guys. That's right. That's right. Absolutely. And Christian's here too. And he's great. Not to mention sweeten the deal over here.

1:06:58Christian's over here. Hell yeah. Yeah, Chris and Chris doing a great job producing the show. We're all wearing shorts. That's fun. That is fun. Because guess what? It is hotter than hell out. It's warm to say the least. You know, you know that feeling when you're like Sonic, yes, Sonic, he runs pretty quick. When you're like a little hot outside, when you're like, fuck me. Why is it going to get cooler and you take out your 10 day forecast and it's all hotter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went on a walk this morning with my wife. We're like, let's get out there. First mistake. Well, yeah, it's like I'm trying to sleep all day. I don't even want to wake up today. That's going to be too hot. It doesn't want to go take a walk by himself. He doesn't know what his wife's going to do with his Gundams while he's gone. I did want to say. Yeah. You should say about Gundams. I'm not too familiar with Gundams. I've seen some of it, but not a lot of it. It's a lot of it. It's a lot of it. That's your Gundam guy. That's my Gundam guy. She convinced me to buy a kit and make it and it's like the thing that I think everybody

1:08:00should do it. I think it is like I spent four hours making a Gundam one day and it was the most at-piece I had felt in years. Yeah. I was so happy doing it because it was just like so like just so intentional on the instructions are so clear and you're just kind of just like doing it and then you're making this little- mine was one of the easy ones. So it probably shouldn't have even taken me that long. But I really took my time doing it and I think everybody could get something out of it. That's what my wife is told me about making Warhammer 40k guys. She's made a few with Frankie, my nine year old. And she's like, you know what? I thought it was kind of fun. It's a flow state. It's really cool. And then I think especially in the Warhammer community that seems like a really welcoming community, the fact that then there are nice folks trying to help you is like a way, it's the easiest way to get into anything. I feel like the older you get the harder it is to get into a flow state, especially you start having prostate problems. Okay. Christian Dwayne is the bathroom every well. I don't eat that there.

1:09:01I can't piss. Christian Dwayne is. Wow. I mean, look Duke Newcomers getting older. Yeah, Duke, Duke's not as young as he once was. The person's been stealing my pills. I gave all my money to a guy on the phone. They said my nephew was a jail and I had to send them Google Play cards. I got from 7-11. It's sad. It's sad. Don't scam the elder lead. Or the beekeeper's going to get you. Oh, yeah, that guy's going to fuck you up. Keep belief how bad that guy. Christian Dwayne is the producer of our program. Our theme music is Love You by the free design courtesy of the free design and light in the attic records. And join us on social media. And you know what else? Can I just say maxfundstore.com? Maxfundstore.com. That's where you get your stankest threat, merchandise.

1:10:02We'll talk to you next time on Jordan Jessica. I love you and kiss you and love you. Love you. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.