Achieve Any GOAL With This Simple Mindset Shift | Ed Mylett

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Now on with the show.

So here's what I want to ask you, Ed.

Yeah.

What is it like to be Ed Millett?

Bless. It's a blessing to be me.

It's an ongoing journey to find more out about myself and more out about other people.

More about about my spirituality and my faith, too.

I think where you and I really have a common is we're just very

intentional about our lives and they matter to us.

And so I feel things really deeply, you know, and I think that sometimes

doesn't come with the package maybe when you look at me or something.

I don't know, but I hear that often.

But I just feel things deeply and I feel things deeply for other people.

So I'm a really emotional guy.

Yet I think I operate pretty well even when I'm emotional.

In other words, it doesn't really dictate my actions all the time.

But what it's like to be me as a blessing.

Like I can't believe my life is what it is based on where I come from.

That where do you come from for people who don't know you?

Where do you come from?

Well, I come from a loving family, but really dysfunctional.

So my dad was an, I wrote the book for this reason.

My dad was an alcoholic until I was 15 years old.

Actually, seven days before my 15th birthday, only my dad would get sober on 420,

but he did.

So 420, my dad's sobriety birthday.

But I come from a lot of dysfunction in chaos.

And when you're the oldest son with three little sisters of an alcoholic dad,

you have no self-esteem.

You live in chaos.

And my friends wouldn't know, I was thinking about this the other day.

My friends would never, we never had friends over the house.

Why?

Because the whole street could hear my dad yelling all the time.

They're afraid of him.

And I used to get this anxiety.

Even we would do something cool as a family.

We never went on a vacation my entire life ever once.

But if we did, never one time.

But if we did, that's why I love to travel and dream,

because we just didn't do that stuff.

But I remembered times like every day was anxiety,

but mass, especially if like we were going to go out to a restaurant.

Like a big night out for my family was like,

sizzler, this little stake place where you'd go and wait in the line and order your stake.

But to us, that was like, wow, we are.

My lets are balling tonight, you know?

But I remember going out and getting such anxiety hours before,

because I knew my dad was going to get enough fight at the restaurant.

Oh my God.

It was going to be, it was going to show up drunk and it was either a server

or some other person in the restaurant.

And we, it just happens.

The sizzler had a private room for their staff, Mel.

I swear to you.

And we ate in there every week.

I thought, wow, this is unbelievable when we go out.

They give us this private room every time.

They're hiding my dad from everybody else in the restaurant.

And I didn't realize that until we got older.

So that's what it's like to be me.

So you come from that and you're like, wow.

And now, you know, there's a few people that like to listen to me.

And I've helped a few people.

It's sort of mind blowing to me.

What was the, the pivot in your life?

Because you were crazy successful in business and as an entrepreneur.

But what was the pivot for you for when you were like,

I want to like, you're still obviously crazy successful as an entrepreneur.

But you made this change and you started teaching.

And you started sharing wisdom.

Do you know kind of the moment when there was this like,

a piphany for you?

Because it feels to me almost like more spiritual than it was a business decision.

Way more spiritual.

And it was right before Wayne Dyer passed away.

I haven't really blessed.

I've had a couple really, you know,

unbelievable mentors in my life.

And I met Wayne Dyer when I was very young.

Most of your audience would know who Wayne Dyer is.

But if they don't, they should Google him.

He's one of the great all-time beautiful,

sole thought leaders ever.

And so two guys kind of ganged up on me.

One's funny, one's not.

Wayne told me goes, hey, listen.

You always watch you when you're one on one with people and you kiss so deeply

and you're so present with people and you spend so much time with them.

Ed, you need to take what you know out to the world about the mind and spirituality

and how to change your life because you've done this.

And I'm like, Wayne, no, what's the list of me?

I'm just an entrepreneur and he goes, no, God gave you this deep voice and this ability

and Wayne had that voice too.

And it would deepen when we would talk.

And he goes, no, I'm telling you that.

And I said, Wayne, all my life, I've wanted to help people like people help

my dad get sober, like my mentors like you.

And Wayne said, I believe you'll change the world.

And Ed, you won't change the world because you're brilliant or you're talented.

You'll change the world because of your intentions.

And he got me and I went, because I don't believe I'm brilliant.

And I don't believe I'm talented.

That's a lot of work for me to believe.

But I do know my intentions.

I do know my intentions.

And my intent is to definitely serve and help people.

I love people because people saved my family.

Tell us that story.

Tell everybody that story about how people saved your family.

Well, I wrote this whole book because of the one mores in my life.

But when I was, Mel, you're, I'm going to give you this.

This is just for me and you, everyone else can hear it.

Because I haven't talked about this ever before.

But it just happened two weeks ago with Cristiana.

So the story is my dad was an alcoholic and I'm driving.

I'm almost 15 and I'm driving in my car and my dad's crying.

My dad's driving his car and he's crying.

I never saw my dad cry before that day or after it.

And he finally pulls over and he's still crying.

But he doesn't look at me.

And he just says, he's looking straight ahead at the wheel.

He goes, I'm going to try to go get sober.

I'll never forget this one more time.

And he goes, Eddie, I'm going to give it one more try.

And I have a chapter in the book called One More Try.

I get emotional telling you this because it altered my life.

And I said, I said, Daddy, what would be any different this time?

He tried a lot of times.

And he said, Eddie, I'm going to lose my family.

Your mom's taking you and your sisters.

And the truth is, you deserve a dad.

You can be proud of.

I vividly remember this.

Now he's looking at me.

And he says, your mom deserves a husband she can respect.

So I'm going to try it one more time.

And then he came back and he was sober.

And I said, Dad, these themes of one more start coming out.

I said, Dad, are you never going to drink again?

He goes, I don't know.

I'm just not going to drink for one more day.

That lasted for 35 years.

And my dad, you know, I watched, I believe humans can change.

No, you got the spiritual thing.

I believe so deeply human beings can change.

Because I watched my hero do it.

My dad lived like crap the first 15 years of my life.

And then lived the best life of anyone I've ever known personally,

the next 35.

So I watched it, right?

And I watched what he did.

But the most amazing thing that I got to tell you,

this is not in the book.

It happened three weeks ago.

Most people think they're disqualified from helping other people.

Like, yeah, Mel Robbins, she's brilliant.

Legal mind, personal development mind, business mind.

She's a powerhouse.

She can change people's lives.

My let, yeah, he lifts a lot of weight.

She's got that deep voice.

He seems to have a little swagger about him.

Probably he could.

He's made hundreds of millions, whatever.

Me, no way.

Because you know what?

You don't know what I'm ashamed of.

You don't know my failures.

I've had a divorce, a bankrupt.

I had a business that didn't work.

You know, I've done things I'm just completely embarrassed by.

Or, hey, you know, I've just never done anything great before.

And they say, this disqualifies me.

Nothing could be further than truth.

Your life experience, your humanity is actually what qualifies you.

Check this out, Mel.

I wake up like three weeks going to Wednesday, crying.

And I don't try enough.

I said, babe, wake up, wake up.

She was, what?

I said, I'm 51 years old.

This just dawned up me.

Someone helped daddy.

She went, what honey?

I said, someone helped daddy.

In the lowest moment of his life,

the darkest moment on his knee,

losing his family, losing his life,

maybe physically losing his life,

literally some precious soul intervened.

In a dark bar or alley,

or I don't know where it was, a meeting, a coffee shop.

Instead, I'll help you.

I'll help you.

And they changed my life.

I'm talking to you, Mel, because of this person.

They changed my children's lives who weren't even born.

They've changed millions of people's lives that I reach.

In that one moment,

they're this human being and their humanity

stepped forward and saved my family.

And that's incredible to think one person can have that ripple effect.

But the more incredible effect is what qualified them to do it.

The things they were the most ashamed of,

they were also a drug addict and an alcoholic.

Little did they know the world was preparing them

when they're driving drunk and lying to their family

and cheating on someone and stealing money for drugs,

who's preparing them for this to qualify them to help my dad.

So the very things in life,

we think disqualify us from making change in other people's lives

are the very things that do qualify us.

It's our humanity.

It's our frailties.

It's our vulnerability that allows us to connect.

If this person wasn't a drunk or a drug addict,

they could never have helped my father.

So this is amazing how God,

if you believe that of a universe orchestrates these things,

the only difference was this person in this critical moment

had the courage to step forward and say,

I'll help you.

And they probably felt unqualified.

But the truth is their whole life was preparing them to help my dad.

And here we are today.

And so this is what everyone needs to get out of this.

There's a power to doing one more.

This isn't even in the book.

This is after the book was written.

Now my gosh, this thing we think disqualifies

is the very thing that does qualify us.

And so I wanted to share that with you.

I'm just rocking.

Like I, there's a lot there to unpack.

I remember I just naturally started rocking.

When I was a trial lawyer,

you always knew a jury was going to convict when they started rocking.

You know, they like agree with you.

So as you're talking, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And it's so true because you're right.

How many times have you disqualified yourself or stepped on the break

or held yourself back or talked yourself out of it?

Because you didn't think that your life experience

or just you being there was enough.

And if that's the one thing that people get out of your book,

that the power of one more, that would change the world.

But that's not the only thing that they're going to get out of this.

And I think, Ed, you are going to start to see

this idea of one more and the power of one more person

or the power of one person showing up over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Because you've taken a highlighter and highlighted something that is true about life,

that it takes one to impact millions.

Let's talk about this book.

Why this book and why now?

Well, I was with my dad when he passed away.

I was holding his hand.

And there's all these lessons in my life.

But this is a heavy book, by the way.

We're being really emotional right now,

which there's a lot of that in the book,

but the truth is you've read it.

So you know, it's a very heavy content book.

On stuff you and I love the particular.

Well, can I just say something?

Because some people hear the word heavy and they're like, I'm out.

Right.

That's not what he's saying.

He is saying that in every single chapter and every single page,

there is a takeaway, there is an insight.

So it is thick with life changing tools and stories.

That's what he means by having.

That's what I mean, thank you.

That's why you're here to clear up my mistakes.

That is not a fucking mistake.

Will you shut up?

You know what I'm saying?

You don't think you're smart.

I know I'm not really smart.

But what I am is the thing.

What I am is the things in the book.

I would like to think that some of my,

what we just did it, Mel, there's four people in my house.

You've met Kristiana and I've got two kids.

You know, I think you met at least one of them when you're at the house.

I think you met my daughter.

But I'm fourth in the house and IQ.

And that's okay with me because actually,

I think it gives people hope to know,

hey, look, this is an average ordinary man who's produced

some pretty extraordinary stuff on his life.

And I did it with the stuff that's in the book.

But one of the things that's in the book that why the book was,

that's what's with my dad, and he passed.

And I think you realize the power of one more in its absence,

like when there isn't another one.

And so.

Okay, stop.

Yeah.

Stop.

Okay.

Okay, stop.

You realize the power of one more when there isn't one.

Yeah.

It's a fact.

This is hard for me to say, I haven't said this out loud ever, I don't think.

But my favorite human being to be with was my dad.

I mean, obviously that doesn't count my wife and kids, right?

But so my favorite thing to do is to golf with my dad.

And it wasn't because we're any good,

because neither one of us are great.

But it was five hours with my best friend right next to me, my hero.

Plus on a golf cart.

And we would talk,

deep, my dad and I didn't have casual talks.

We disagreed on politics and faith and all kinds of stuff.

And we would have deep conversations in that.

Do you know what I would give?

Mel, honestly, what I would give

to watch my dad walk off the green one more time.

Go, hey, dad, great putt.

Just put it in his arm.

I was a good one wasn't a daddy.

You know, and they say, hey,

let me tell you how your sister's doing.

You know, do me a favor, call your sister, you know,

and we would just talk about family.

My dad was a simple guy, Mel.

My I've had five jets, you know,

that I've been blessed to own some jets.

My jet was parked within walking distance.

My dad was a runner.

My dad could run to my jet.

See it.

Never been on it.

My dad never won on one of my jets.

Never set foot on one of them.

And I would say, Dad, let's go to Maui.

He'd play some golf.

He'd go, why in the world would I go all the way to Maui

to play golf with my favorite man?

I could just play here in Chino.

It's not the golf.

It's with my son.

I don't need to go do there.

I just want to be with you.

But when he died, I just have to tell you, Mel,

do you know what I would give

one more round of golf with my dad?

If you're, and you need to begin to think about this,

if you're listening to this, what if I said to you,

you and your sweetheart, whoever they are?

You got one more dance with them.

So last one.

Well, I'd hang up with you and I'd go down and dance with Chris right now.

That's enough.

I know you.

I know you know, yeah.

And you know what I think about a lot is,

I think about the fact that my dad is 76.

And his dad died when he was 82.

And so if I'm lucky, I've got my dad for maybe 10 more years.

He lives in Michigan.

I'm here.

I see him maybe four times a year.

That means if I'm lucky,

that's what I get.

Yep.

But that's probably not what I have.

That's probably less, right?

And the truth is, what if I said to you,

if you walked in and saw your children tonight,

that you get to tell them you love them one more time?

What if it was the last conversation?

What if you started to approach your life as if there was only one more?

Just to start to think about that for a second.

And for me, it's altered me.

I mean, it's really changed me.

I'm more present with people.

I would do anything to get that back

and to have more time with them.

The other thing that occurred, I was like,

I'm next.

The point Hill says in Thinking Grow Rich,

begin with the end in mind.

But why don't we do that with our lives?

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You know what do we want the end of our life to look like?

I held my father's hand as he took his last breath.

I know what that experience like for you.

It was beautiful.

And I'll tell you why when my dad got cancer,

this dad died of cancer ultimately.

But when he got cancer, my dad said to me goes look,

because my dad was a dude.

You know, he's like, hey, I'm a fight this SHIT one time.

But I'm not having you guys carry me the next five,

six years and be a burden to the family.

And I'm going to all get all shrunk up and lose my hair.

And he sounds like my mother who's like,

you're not going to wipe my ass.

You're not going to wipe my ass.

Say, yeah, actually, exactly terminology.

But here's the truth.

Other than the wipe in the ass, that's exactly what he did.

Anyone eight years, chemo, radiation surgery, proton,

chemo surgery, surgery, proton, new chemo, radiation.

Eight years and it was destroying him.

And I would say to my dad halfway through, I'd say,

Mel, I'd say, Dad, I'd say, why are you doing this?

And he goes, well, maybe I'll get to one more

of my granddaughter's wedding.

These one mores would come.

He go, Eddie, hey, if I get to one more Christmas recital

for a little Juliana, maybe I'll watch my grandson,

little Jacob play one more football game.

And he used to tell me he goes, Eddie,

when you're threatened with these one mores never happening again,

you fight your ass for one more.

And then he would tell me when I was a little boy,

Christian, you've been to my house, I live on this beach.

Well, my wife and I, we used to come on this walk down this beach smell,

come down here all the time.

And I'd say, babe, I'm gonna get us one of these beach houses someday.

I'm gonna live up there.

I literally live on the exact beach now.

And she's like, you are?

I'm like, yeah, we're gonna get one of these.

Don't worry about it.

I got it.

And I'd go home and I'd say, Dad,

who are these people that live in these ocean front houses?

Right?

And my dad go, I have no idea of these people.

I've never met one of them.

I have no clue who they are.

They're probably from another planet.

I got no idea.

And I figured out, Mel, over time,

that I know who they are.

They're the one.

The second chapter of the book's called The Matrix.

And the reason it's The Matrix is about the RAS,

but also in The Matrix.

Neo, they call them The One.

So when you see a really happy family

or a successful family or both,

if you go all the way back in their lineage,

at one point they weren't.

It's true.

And then the one shows up.

The one arises in that family and stands up

because the world's not treating my family like anymore.

The mylets arise and up.

We think different.

We operate different in the world.

And the one changes that family forever.

And it's typically a lot closer than you think.

My dad did say this to me.

He'd go, Eddie, this is the whole premise of the book.

He'd go, I don't know about that beach house stuff.

How you get there?

But here's what I do know.

It's closer to you than you think it is.

And he goes, Eddie, please don't spend your life

thinking that's 100 years away.

Because if you think like that,

you will act in accordance with that belief

and you will perpetually keep your dreams

that far away from you.

And he said, I think it's one decision away,

one relationship away, one meeting away,

one thought, one emotion away.

You can change your life.

And he goes, look at me.

That one decision to get sober completely changed my life.

And I've always believed this moment because

because I believe that it's been true.

I'm one decision away.

I'm one meeting away.

I'm one this away.

I'm one relationship away.

And it's I'm a stacking of those one mores in my life.

The truth is the difference between

winning and losing in life is sometimes so small.

It's almost too scary to talk about.

And it's one new thought like,

hey, I'm going to give myself a high five every morning.

That one new thought can change your life.

It's one decision.

It's one dinner I walk into and I meet Mel Robbins at a dinner table

with some other folks that I know that changed my life.

My life got better in that instance.

And so if you begin to believe this,

then the question becomes, how do we find these one mores?

What are the things we need to know in our mind to get them?

What are the things we need?

Why are they?

Like, because I'm like, yay, yay, yay, yeah.

Like, what are they?

Well, there's a lot and they're in the book.

But one of them, for example, is the RAS,

which is the filter that sort of reveals what's most important to you

in your case.

And so you know exactly how it works.

But for the benefit of everybody else, it keeps you sane.

That's why you don't feel the blood rushing through your right ear right now.

It's why when you walk in a crowded room,

and there's all this noise, but someone says,

Mel, not even loud, you can hear auditorily

over all the noise.

What's important to you, which is your own name?

It's like, for me right now, I just bought a Tesla.

I don't know if Musk is buying Twitter.

You want a Tesla?

I don't know.

I did it because I like this dude's just disturbing stuff.

I have no idea whether he's a good guy or not.

I just, this guy's just rocking out a little bit.

I might get me a wish Tesla did you buy?

About the plan, about the good one.

What's that? I don't even know what that is.

Because my daughter was just,

I was bitching about the fact that I now have to drive back and forth

between Vermont and Boston.

Yeah, I give it a problem.

And she's like, why don't you get a Tesla and let the car drive you?

And I was like, I like it.

And I'm going to tell you the other thing I like.

Is this the thing with the wings?

I don't know.

Well, the doors open that way.

But what it does do is you can hit the mode and it'll drive for you.

But I don't, I don't trust it.

But what I do have that I like is I have this mode on the car.

That it, it'll not let you hit a car,

even when you're driving.

So like if you're stupid and you're not going to break, it breaks.

If you're drifted into the wrong lane,

which I do all the time,

it goes, I got surprised by that, by the way.

I know, I know.

And I can't wait for the call that you're going to have

where you call me and you're like,

Mel, you know, that boat I bought in Miami.

I just ran it up on some rocks in Maine.

It's at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

That's actually way more likely than you might think.

That's how I know it's extremely possible.

We see if you just, oh my gosh, you saw me drive a boat.

You see me drive.

Well, I'm not going to comment.

It's probably possible.

I need to test the thing on the boat is what I need.

But I bought this Tesla, right?

It's crazy.

It's driving my wife not.

So I'm like, babe, red Tesla, white Tesla.

There's another white Tesla.

Three lanes over the other side of the freeway,

going the other direction.

I go, honey, there's a black Tesla.

She's like, what is wrong with you?

It's the RIS.

It's the RIS.

I said, these testers were always there.

But our daughter, dude, this just happened to us.

I'll give you a different car that is not a Tesla.

So that are you Subaru CrossTech, a Toyota RAV4,

that our daughter is shopping for her first car.

And now she's like, everybody drives one of these things.

I'm like, nothing.

No, they don't.

They're just there.

Yes, it looks like it, right?

And that's because it's part of my RIS.

Here's how life works.

You already know this.

If you can program your matrix, your RIS,

that the Tesla's of your life

become these meetings, these decisions, these people,

these relationships, these thoughts, these emotions,

you got it.

And what I'm here to tell you is that these things have always

been around you, but you're oblivious to them,

because what's in your RIS are your fears,

your anxieties, your worries,

your to-do list, your problems,

what's right in front of you, you see.

And so you validate it and prove it to be true.

So do I keep going?

I'm the exercise that you recommend for people

that are so mired.

Yes.

In the negative.

Like it's not going to work out.

This is going to be awful.

It never worked like what is an exercise

that you would tell somebody to do

so that they can start to reprogram that way of thinking?

Yeah.

I'm a big believer in daydreaming.

Lucid daydreams.

And so I have this.

Lucid daydreams mean.

Yeah.

Lucid daydreams means very clear,

very specific and repetitive.

The big one is repetitive.

So here's what you already do.

Your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with.

We all know this.

Or maybe most people don't know this,

but it moves towards what it's most familiar with.

And here's I have a chapter in the book where I say

become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever.

So I'm going to combine two things.

Don't give you the technique.

Okay.

99% of the people in the world operate out of a frame of reference,

a pattern of thinking that is history and memory.

1% of the people operate out of imagination and vision.

This is a different frame of reference.

That's why my friends, it's very difficult

when I'm around most of my friends to go.

Remember when you guys remember,

remember that my friends almost never do that.

If you surround yourself with people

where you're reminiscing most of the time,

not only do you operate out of memory and history,

but you're reinforcing it with the conversations you have with people.

I've very, when you and I are talking,

we're flying back with Jamie Kernleement.

There was no reminiscing.

We're talking about the future

and we're operating in the present.

This is a different pattern of thinking.

And it must be, it must be worked on.

And so why are we happier when we're kids?

I have two philosophies.

One, I think you were just more recently with God.

And two, you operate out of imagination

because you have no history in memory.

But by the time you're about 10 years old,

you begin to slowly operate a history in memory,

oftentimes the history in memory of the emotions of your parents.

Did you guys lose me?

No, I'm thinking because this is super, super helpful to me right now.

And it's super helpful to me right now.

Because Chris and I just sold our family home

where we raised our kids for 20 or 30 years.

And I've lived there almost half my life.

My parents have never sold the house I grew up in.

My grandfather was born on the family farm.

That my mother was, this has never been modeled for me.

And so I was not prepared for the avalanche of grief and panic

and uncertainty that happened

when all of a sudden in 24 hours the household.

And I have spent the last three weeks

in an up and down emotional breakdown

around like literally when you said reminiscing

something's not for me, Ed.

Because I was like, oh shoot, I am wallowing in the memory.

And that is now becoming this like cyclone

of sadness and regret.

And maybe we shouldn't have sold it.

And maybe this was too soon.

And maybe we weren't ready

that has blocked my ability

at times the last two weeks to even remember why

we were all so excited and that was the time.

And so it's the reflecting back

and then allowing myself to stay there

that has made the kind of grief that's normal

with the transition that big really weigh me down.

And so you just broke something open.

Good.

And gave me, I think, the keys

to really connect back into what you and I both do so well

which is staying inside the imagining of

where is this going?

And why are we doing this?

And what's possible?

Because as we both know, the brain also

can only imagine what you're losing.

It can't actually imagine something

beyond your wildest possibilities.

And so I got to get back the fuck into the imagination piece

of this versus the memory and reminisciting

and all that stuff.

Yes. And what, and I love that that helped you.

And what we do when we're reminiscing

or we're going down that pattern

is we're flashing in our mind pictures

and videos of other times.

We actually see them and it creates this emotion in us.

And so this is not complicated.

The most successful people are the people

in life that can get very clear in their vision

in their imagination and repetitively.

Like when I work with top athletes, Mel,

one of the things that, and by the way,

there's really simple visualizations in the book

that you just do very simply and you do it repetitively.

And then I teach you like, slow it down.

Now speed it up.

All it's doing is forcing you to focus on it.

Add color to it, make it black and white.

It's very easy and it'll change your life.

But when I work with pro athletes, I'll give you an example.

I work with a fighter who won last weekend in the UFC.

And when he does when things get really fast,

when he gets hit and fights, he speeds things up

and awfully goes into brawl mode.

And what happens is it's when he's lost a couple fights.

He had lost his last two fights.

And I have a chapter in the book called equanimity,

one more level of equanimity.

When you were visualizing your RIS,

things will begin to slow down like in the matrix and bullet time.

And in this particular fight, Mel, what was incredible is

he was getting hit and he started to speed up

and you watch him consciously.

I'm ringing in his ears.

He steps back and he gets slows down

and finds that equanimity.

And he ended up knocking this guy out with a leg kick, Mel,

that knocked the man out.

I don't like this stuff for four minutes out on the mat.

It's one of the most devastating knockouts

in the history of fighting.

And afterwards, he gets interviewed and he goes,

I don't know what happened.

I've never practiced that leg kick before in person,

only in my visions and imagination.

And he executed it to save his career to win the fight.

And so this is something you can do over and over again.

One more thing on this visualization.

We think we visualize well,

but the more we practice it, it's a muscle.

So when I work with like a B-level baseball player,

I'll say, hey, let's visualize the pitch coming in.

They'll go, I got it. I saw it.

I said, where'd you hit it?

They go up the middle.

I go, okay, good.

Where's the camera?

They go, huh?

I go, where's the camera?

Is it over the center field camera

shooting over the picture like you watched it on television?

Or is it from the batter's box and you're watching the view out?

Inevitably, average players will go, I'm not, I don't know.

And I go, then you weren't really visualizing.

Let's find the camera.

They go, okay, it's from the batter's box.

I go, great.

Can you see the rotation on the ball?

Is the picture left or right handed?

Can you see the stitches on the balls that comes in?

And I make them start to see it more clearly.

And then I'll say, can you see the ball hitting the bat?

No, well, let's work on that.

Have the bat hit the ball.

Do you see the stitches now rotating the other way back out?

My point is that I'm getting them to visualize with specificity.

But when I work with an all-star player,

they do this naturally.

The difference in their athletic ability is their ability to

repetitively specifically visualize.

And this is not complicated stuff.

I even know when I say it, you already do it.

Some of you with your fears and your worries, you're really good at this.

You can visualize it with clarity and you can make it bigger and bolder.

You can change it to black and white to make you really sad about it.

You can slow it down, you can add sounds.

So you already do this well.

How do you interrupt that?

So if you are in that negative visibility loop,

where I immediately, my visualization was,

oh my god, we just sold the container that has held our family together

for 24 years.

Now that that's gone, I'm never going to see my kids.

Yep.

Yeah.

How do you interrupt?

It's pattern interrupt.

There's a pattern interrupt, okay?

And so I have this on how to create habits in the book.

I teach you actually how to create a habit.

It's a pattern interrupt.

And so we'll just be real here.

For me, it's usually a physical move.

I'll move myself, I'll snap my fingers.

I'll do a jumping.

You may think this is nuts.

For me, a physical move will snap me out of a thought pattern.

That's for me.

For some people, it's an auditory thing.

And this is so funny.

I have someone that I coach right now.

And I sneezed on one of our first calls.

And this person goes into negative thought loops,

like you can't believe.

Most people say, God bless you, right?

Or excuse you or whatever.

This person was old school, except she's young.

And she goes, KazooTite.

And I go, what the fuck did you say?

She goes, KazooTite.

I go, I haven't heard that since my grandfather in like 1977.

And so with her, we laughed about it.

It was a belly laugh.

That word then became a trigger for laughter.

So you know what, everybody?

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And so her way out of her legative thought patterns,

this sounds so stupid.

She goes, good, look tight, good, look tight.

And she throws her arms back and we make a laugh out of it.

And what happens is it doesn't put her into the good loop.

It interrupts the negative one.

Right.

It's an auditory funny one for a lot of people.

It's a physical move.

It's a snap of the fingers.

Right.

Grab of any of the ear.

And this is not complicated stuff.

You ever watch an athlete when they get into the batter's box,

a baseball player, they'll tap the plate two times,

adjust their batting gloves.

Tom Brady gets over the center.

That's fucking go.

Peyton Manning used to say, oh, my,

ha, these were plays, but they were also triggers.

They were cues.

They were cues.

Yes.

And so it could be a physical me.

You and I, Bo, by the way.

Five, four, three, one.

Bone, the five-second role.

It's an adapter, yep.

You got it.

So there's a, that's the best one.

But that's that's what I use that crap that I, you know,

teach, stop it.

No, I'm just kidding.

Oh, when I am in a death spiral, I'm wallowing.

You know, sometimes though,

sometimes it's a physical move for me.

Yeah, I think if physical moves are good,

I want to snap at the fingers.

I like that a lot.

Okay, there you go.

I like that a lot.

That's good.

Thank you.

What do people not know about you?

A weird thing about me is I danced in college.

Wait, wait, wait.

What does that mean?

You danced in college.

I wasn't a chip in Dale, but I danced in college.

So I, I danced at a hip hop club in college

to put myself through college in addition

to my baseball scholarship.

And then I toured for like two years

with a bunch of different hip hop bands.

So you would not know that with a 51 year old middle-aged group.

What?

Yeah.

So you don't know that one.

No one knows that one.

I've never seen you dance.

And you, you're big, dude.

Were you that big in college?

Yeah, I was way bigger in college.

And my daughter will tell you,

you probably never should see me dance, because I'm stuck in 1994. So when we go to wedding,

she's like, Dad, just so, you know, the running man, the running man, the sprinkler,

the Roger Rabbit, it's just not there anymore. And I'm like, well, I'm bringing this shit back,

the next time we are doing it, that's amazing. Let's go. I've seen you dance moves.

So, but a serious thing that you probably not know about me is that I still struggle with the

things that are in my book. And I wrote it mainly for me, that I use these tools because

self-esteem doesn't come easy to me. I'm speaking today in Arizona. I kind of already know what'll

happen about six o'clock tonight when I get back to my room. I'll go into Ed Mylet mode, which is,

I should have said this, I can't believe I missed that. Oh my god, I still struggle with these things,

and you know that about me too, but I'm a work in progress. And I have bought into the theory I

said earlier, that my things that aren't perfect about me, that I might, I could easily conceal

or be ashamed of, or embarrassed by, are the very things that qualify me to help you. And I also

think that's probably my favorite thing about you. We are, we are both two of the most tool driven,

really use the stuff to produce results people on the freaking planet. And our content, let's just,

I'm just gonna say, it's better than everybody's damn content. We got great content, right?

Yet, because it's real. Yet we both had success outside of this space, which qualifies us differently

as well. Yet we'll both tell you any given time. I've had three weeks of a spiral that you can't

even believe that you just shared, or hey, tonight after my talk, and I hope that people look at you and

I, and that we're aspirational, not just inspirational, meaning that I aspire to be more like this person

with my vulnerability. They're not perfect. I think most things in life, I say this in the book about

being a parent, are caught, not taught. That's it. And I hope people catch things from you and I,

I'd say this last to you, Mel, that I have just something about life that I think is worth saying.

Really good friend of mine called me. I've known her 30 years. I love her. And she called me the

other day and she's like, I'm, she got a preview of my book. She's like, I'm crying because I knew

you at that age and it's so true. And I can't believe what's happened in your life. And she goes,

she just came from such a neglected environment and so did I. My mom and dad got divorced. And she

said, well, and I'm so glad both of us aren't neglecting our children. This was the hardest thing I've

ever said to a friend. And I said, I won't say her name. I said, sweetheart, she's a dear, dear friend

of mine, like a sister. And I said, you know, I love you. And she said, I do. I said, you might want

to look into whether you're neglecting your kids. And she says, what in the world does that mean?

And I said, well, there's lots of neglect in life. There is drug addiction or alcoholism. There's

abuse. There's divorce. Maybe they didn't say they love you enough. I said, the most insidious form,

though, is a child being raised by a parent who's unwilling to pursue their potential,

who's unwilling to chase their dreams. That's neglect. You're installing in that child that it's okay

to settle. That it's okay to be less than your capable of. That's neglect. It's insidious and

it's dangerous. And it's terrible. And I think the last 10 or 15 years, you've slid into doing that.

And you need to change it. She went, oh my gosh. And she said, you're right. And she made a change.

And I said, why am I telling you this? I said, because I think all great change in life comes from love.

My dad got sober because he loved family so much. Not because he didn't want to drink alcohol

anymore. Didn't want drugs in his system. It came from love. That's beautiful. Yeah. And I know

you love those children of yours and the grandchildren you're going to have. And it's time you start

having them catch things from you, not just things you teach. It's caught, not taught.

So that is just beautiful. All change comes from love. It does.

Wow. Very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget

to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to max out. Hey, my guest today is David Nurse. If you don't know

who David is, you're going to be blown away by what we're going to talk about today. And it's going

to improve your life. I can tell you that for sure. Always try to bring people on to do that for

you. But in a very unique and special way today, this man is equipped to do that for you. He's a

life optimization coach. He's the author of pivot and go. And he's just got these, he's an Iowa boy.

So I already like him. You guys know how much I love actionable items that you can move with

immediately. And he is loaded with them. So it's really a pleasure to have David Nurse with me

today. David, welcome to the show, brother. Ed, thank you very much. Been a big time fan and

listener of yours. So as much as encouraging as I am, I'm a you motivate me, man. Thank you,

brother. I feel like we're kind of kindred spirits because we both want to make a very similar

difference in the world. And the more I dove into your work and your content, the more and more

impressed I became, I almost consider myself maybe a little bit of an addict for the work you do

now because some of it is phrased in a way that I've not heard before. And that's what I like.

It's like a young version. I don't know if it's a young Tony Robbins version or what the heck I

might call it, but I love it. So let's talk first off about pivoting the book pivoting go to, but

you know, right now we're catching a lot of people, millions of people that are sort of in this,

you know, I got to make a pivot type move. And one of the things I love in the book that you talk

about is you got to get a perspective. You call it like a higher perspective almost.

In order to make those decisions, what do you mean by just kind of let's you go on that tangent

for a minute? Absolutely. So making a pivot, like it's a basketball term where the defense is all

over you or life is just sucking you in and you can't see a clear path, but you make a small,

slight turn, a small pivot and it opens up an entirely new perspective. And it's, you know,

change is very daunting for people when you say, hey, you have to make this big change. No one,

it rarely can anyone do it, but if it's these small, these pivots, these 1% step pivots,

that's what can open up an entire entirely different perspective. And right now,

like we're all going through a time that we feel stuck. In some situation, we feel stuck. And

that's one of the worst feelings that we can have. Me and you, we know that that we had to make

our life pivot through sports and we poured everything we could into playing professional sports,

myself, the NBA, and we had to make that pivot. Like everything that I did to pour into the,

into playing in the NBA was actually for coaching in the NBA. So it's, it's about looking at

something from a slightly different perspective that can change your entire perspective.

I think people are very hesitant to make, you know, 50% pivots, you know, in one move. And that's

really not usually where most of the differences are made. They're small. David also referenced the

NBA. I think you're the nephew of Nick Nurse, who's, you know, one of the great NBA coach, people

think the NBA coach right now. And then you all know that, you know, David does this for all kinds

of people, but his forte, particularly for a long time, has been with NBA players. And you said

something, I say that everything in life happens for you, not to you. You say something close to

that, but in a very nuanced and different way that involves preparation almost for the rest of

your life. How do you word that? You just share that with everybody. Yeah. So, I mean, it's,

it's about preparing for the opportunity. And I love that you brought up my uncle, Nick, because

he's a great example of this. Now, people see him as winning this NBA championship. And they're like,

oh, you know, first year head coach, lightning strikes in a bottle. No, he's been a head coach

for 27 years. And one of my favorite quotes is it takes 10 years to become an overnight success.

But in Nick's terms, 27 years to become an overnight success. And I've seen him coaching over

in countries. You don't even know play basketball, taking players, angles, pop and popcorn at half time.

But the thing is he lived in that, hey, I am an NBA champion head coach. And when he was 22 when

he started his coaching career, he put a picture of himself holding an NBA trophy on the fridge.

And he saw that every day he lived in that mindset and developed that subconscious awareness of,

hey, I don't have to be what the world says I am. All this self-doubt, this negative talk,

I can be, I can live in this NBA champion coach that I know who I, who I'm going to be. And now,

it's about embracing the process of taking what I call one percent steps. And this makes it

not as daunting. One percent steps, anybody can do that daily. It's not, you have to take the whole,

you look at the big macros and then you take, you take the little micros knowing that these steps

and the most powerful thing there is is the compounding effect. Where you stack these 1% days

on 1% days, understanding it's going to take 27 years to become an overnight success. But if you

stay with it, you will get there. Like for years still, I love how you just like literally, hey,

I'm going to work my butt off for these three years and then we'll get there. But you put in

that work behind the scenes and nobody sees. Yeah, well, you're also being very humble. So did

you. So most of you probably would know this about him, but he was driven to become an NBA player.

And he now says that all that work he was doing was preparing him for what he's doing now. And his

philosophy is you're all doing that. It may not seem like it, but what you're doing right now is

preparing you for what you're destined to do. And just you're being humble day, but I happen to

know that you basically lived in your car for like ever, like business dudes homeless. He's

traveling around the world, kind of really doing not for free, but for almost nothing and free

often. I don't think enough people are willing to sacrifice short term financially to get the

experience to build the reputation to build the brand. And then boom, the Brooklyn Nets call

and kind of the world starts to take off. But what I'd like you to address because during that

time and during my time, I'm sure during next time, Dwayne Johnson's time when he was struggling,

and had all, you know, whatever he had in his wallet that he talks about, there's a lot of

self-doubt. And I love techniques that help fix things. And you got this thing, man, with the mirror.

Oh, yes. That is just awesome. Like I'm waiting the whole week to do this part of the interview

right now because I think this is so freaking brilliant. So would you share this strategy with people,

please? Absolutely, man. I'm really big on giving people tools, actionable steps,

actually how to do things because it's one thing to talk about the purpose and the wise. And that's

all great, but there's a big disconnect between actually knowing and doing. So I'll take you through

the whole hands example and you can put this into into play in your life. And this is a tool that

we all have. So we all have our hands with us. So first thing you do when you wake up in the morning

is you look at your hands and you see all that they've been through. Do this right now if you're

listening. Look at the calluses, the grooves, everything that you have been through. You have

gotten through. So you're going to get through the next challenging time as well. Now imagine the

most confident person in your life. The baby is a teacher, a parent, a mentor. You see everything

that they've been through. Now your hands are their hands, their hands are your hands. You can get

through it as well. So you wake up in the morning. First thing you do, look at those hands. You have

the confidence self-awareness hands. Now at some point you're going to walk past a mirror.

Most often it's early on to brush your teeth or wash your face. Now this mirror is what I call the

mirror of self-doubt, a foggy mirror. We all wake up with self-doubt. The imposter syndrome is in us

when we wake up and we have that choice to live in that and what the world is telling us that we

have to be are the expectations or we can take our hands, those hands and make the motion of

wiping away that foggy mirror. So literally there's the power and actually making this motion

triggering into our subconscious that, hey, we don't have to live in this self-doubt that we have. We

wipe away this foggy mirror with our hands. So to keep it going with it now, so we have these hands.

We've got our confident hands. We have a wiping away the self-doubt hands. Now these hands are

service hands too. So every room that you enter, look at your hands and say the word serve. So you know

when you step into that room, it's not about yourself or what others can do for you and what

you can get out of it. It's about what you can give, what you can pour into others, how you can

serve others. Is that honestly like it? That is the biggest thing. It takes so much pressure off

ourselves knowing that it's not all on us, but it's how we can give and how we can serve and

so these hands try that. Like it's really powerful, man. Try that when you enter a room or when you

type an email or write a text, you can look at your hands and say serve. And the last part of the

hands, the tool that you always have with you are the encouragement hands. And there's a player in

the NBA, Steve Nash, used to play in the NBA, he's my favorite player. He would lead the league,

lead the NBA in high five is given. They take that set. High five is given. He gave 239 high five

is a game. Like literally like encouraging everybody is a two time NBA all star. He's six to

unathletic like myself, but yet he was the best teammate that anybody ever had because he was

always given high five. And we can all do that. We can be that person who gives high five. Yeah,

sure. Maybe it's zoom high fives right now, but we can always be that person that encourages and

and looking at your hands and and maybe it's sending out. I do it every morning. I send out

either three texts or three video messages to someone that maybe I haven't talked to for a while,

just an encouraging note to them. And man, you wouldn't believe that the amount of change that

or trajectory in their life that has had just by that encouraging note. And we can all have that

encouragement hands. Thank you for sharing that. And guys, there's a lot to unpack there. First off,

if you follow any of my work, any of you guys, you know that I'm a big believer in triggers.

Great athletes do it, but it's something that just now I've been you know,

I've been teaching for years behind the scenes to business people, but just now it's becoming more

mainstream. This is brilliance. What he just taught you. And it ought to be one of these where you

go back a little bit and listen to it again. If you're listening to it, he gave you the physical

description. If you check out YouTube, but hands are an easy trigger. And I love that there's

multiple triggers that you've created there. And all people that I know that perform at a high

level have these triggers if they're disposed of. They're not just thoughts. They're triggers.

They're physical. You do enough of these looking at your hands and the wipe away. And all of those

different things that he's referencing and these hands serve as well. It's switching it with the

confident person. Those are those are massive, massive tools for people. It just so happens also

that Steve Nash is now the new head coach of the Brooklyn net, which is like pretty ironic too,

right? So it's the New Jersey nets. I don't know what they call themselves now. So that is awesome

stuff right there, brother. Thank you for that. Forge everybody to practice that technique. And one

of the thing everybody, when you hear someone bring it like David, give you these techniques.

These are things that are more effective, the more repetitious they become. They're not completely

effective. The first wipe away, although you'll feel it the first time you look at your hands,

although you'll feel it. But I'm gonna tell you, the 300th time, it has massive power in your life.

The other thing you teach that I love is this notion of terminology, the power that words

have over us and the redefinition of them. And it's like, to me right now, this is like a master class

on pivoting, changing self-confidence and improving your life, that the elite athletes only get

access to guys that you're now getting access to. Would you kind of dive a little bit into redefinition

of terminology? Such a good question. Yes. And this is very powerful. So this is actually

one of the steps. I have a seven steps to develop unshakable confidence. And this is one of them.

Very powerful. And being able to redefine vocabulary. And what I mean by that is we all grow up

learning that certain words mean certain things. And we attach them like with failure or success

or rich. We all think they mean certain things that we're taught. But not necessarily. Like,

let's take for example, the MBAs. We've been talking about basketball. So every time I work with

a player, I'll ask them, when was your last shooting slump? And then I'll see them already the

body language goes down. And they're like, you know, a couple of games ago. I couldn't make a shot.

I missed every one of them. And then I'll ask them, hey, when was your last shooting hip

eponymous? And the look of what are you talking about? You're crazy. What? But what I'm doing there

is showing them is just the power in the word. They have already thought that this word slump

means something bad. But it's only if you decide that you have the power to be able to change that.

Just like failure. Like most people will say, Hey, failure's bad. They're scared of failure.

Some will even say failure's a way to learn and grow. Yeah, I agree with that. I think failures

the only way to learn and grow. So if we can embrace this failure and look at it, what I call

being in the pit, like where you fall down in this pit, this is this failure. And if you can embrace

this and understand this is what's sharpening you. This is what's making the fire that makes the

diamond even shinier. Like this pit that you embrace, like this is how you're going to get out of

this failure and come out so much better on the other end. And like you mentioned earlier,

it's not about like these these failure times, these difficult situation times that happen to us.

Somebody else along the along the line is going to go through the same exact thing that we do.

Now we use this failure not only for our own growth, but also to help others grow as well.

That's so powerful just being able to redefine that word of failure and even like the word

rich. I have a chapter in my book called The Rich Life and it goes into depth of like what really

does rich mean? I mean, you can have a lot of money and you can end up being Steve Jobs and miserable

on your deathbed. But are you rich in your relationships with your family, with your kids,

with your spouse? Like that's where you can really pour into this living this rich life and redefining

these words that the world says we have to think there one way, we can have them in a different way.

And guys, there's all these words that you use that have certain triggers and power over you as well.

And sometimes infusing humorous words for the power word loses all of its influence over you.

And so sometimes whether it's the hippopotamus word or you know, here comes, you know, this is

the angry version of me and you're like, nah, this is poopy pants or whatever. I sound silly,

but it just you the ridiculousness of it, then it loses its power over you, same with when you're

in these things that we call slumps and whatnot. I want to go back for a second because it's

interesting for me for a guy that works with athletes for the most part. Now you're working with

everybody, but found his bearings with athletes. And I do a lot of work with athletes as well. And

this is an interesting topic you go to a lot, which is service. It's not something you think you

talked to an athlete about about how to improve their life. And I always say when you're feeling the

most helpless, become helpful and instantly you're no longer helpless. But you said, I moved over

it too quickly and I want to go back to it for a minute because I'd like to know, do you do it every

day? How do you do it? Which was this three message thing in the morning? Yeah. So every morning,

I will send out a message and it's either a text message or a video message, just a small

encouragement to somebody. And I'll have my, I have a list of all my relationships and everything

like relationships are who we are. We are the people we surround ourselves with. We know that.

But also one thing about cultivating relationships is how you maintain relationships and how you

grow relationships. Like that's a skill in itself. And having people know that you're always there

for them. You're in their corner. Like you're there to cheer them on to be their

encourager. Like that's really, really powerful, man. When you get a text message or a video

message, it just says, I'm thinking of you, hey, checking in on you. Hope you're doing well.

Like that can change your whole day. So I do that in the morning, what I call that the big three,

but I also have the big three in the evening as well. And I think this is a great way to be able

to track your progress, to be able to see how things like in your goals, in your dreams,

in your one percent steps that you're taking is I'll have, I'll write down three things before

I go to bed that I'm going to focus on the next morning. So I know that when I, after my morning

routine, I'm able to just go right into my main three points and that like those are going to be

my three focuses because far too often we have so many things bombarding us left and right,

especially this time during this, this virus time, we don't know what's coming. But to be able to

keep that focus on three main things, keep it on the main important things. So it's, it's a good

way to remember, hey, three text messages or three, three video messages, three big things.

And like you're compiling those days, yeah, that's that's one percent win, one percent win,

one percent win. And that compounding effect just just kicks into play.

And I want, so, so I want you guys to get pivot and go because I want you to hear the entire routine.

But you know, one thing that I love is that it's simple. Complexity is the enemy of execution,

especially at the highest level of things. You can't be complicated things that someone's thinking

through in a routine. They've got to be able to do it quickly. It is interesting that you and I

had never met, you know, until today, but I mean, we've been familiar with each other's work for a while.

But you know, I wrote a book and I think the opening line of the book is we have 86,400 thoughts

today. I start talking immediately about thinking. I also do a cold shower. We both use chili pads.

Maybe we'll get into that in a minute. It's amazing how we're, we're both learned to sleep a little

bit differently. But you talk very eloquently about how many self-talk thoughts you have a day,

which is different than total thoughts. And then this notion, guys, if your mind isn't blown so far,

you're welcome because when you hear about highlight reel, which he works with athletes,

and then you hear about the self-talk thoughts today, this is groundbreaking stuff right here,

guys. So would you address that first? I know you know where I'm going, but they don't do it.

I love it. And first, big credit to you too. It gets it like we're able to give people tools,

and it's not like super overly complicated. You're here far too often. All these doctors and

everybody talking like it sounds great, but I don't know how to apply it. This is way over my head.

So yeah, yeah, thank you and big credit to you. So in the highlight reel is really, really powerful.

Let's let's start off with the highlight reel. And that's the moment that you know, you feel like

you're just in the zone where you're killing it. You're having the best meeting, the best sales

call, but for my basketball players, the best game that they've ever played. And I'll have them

watch their their clips so you can visualize yourself your best moment that you've had going through

it. And I'll have them do it every morning when they wake up. I'll have them do before they step

on the floor for practice and before they step on the floor for games. So constantly, you're being put

in this frame of mind that this your highlight reel, you are at your best. You can be this person

because these self talk thoughts, we have 50,000 on average self talk thoughts, 50,000, 80% of those

are negative. So think about that 40,000 self talk thoughts negative going through your head

throughout the day. Like that's I mean, that's terrible, but we can pivot this by one tool being

living in your highlight reel where you're constantly watching yourself at your best. And

and I mean, this isn't something this is like, Oh, this is airy fairy and up there. No, you have

done this. Like you have literally done this. You can do this again. You will do this again. And we

can we can pivot these self talk thoughts into being 80% positive to 20% negative and just think

about how much that can open up just not just for yourself, but how infectious living in that

becomes to others. Okay. So I'm a mom. I'm not a mom, but I'm listening to my mom or my business

person. I might be a young athlete. I could be an entrepreneur, whatever. I'm a dentist.

You're saying to me that I ought to put together a highlight reel of the best moments or moment

of my life. And I should be visualizing that video when and how often. Yeah, absolutely. Like even

to the the more detail you can get with things, the better. So you're watching like, let's say

your mom and you made this unbelievable meal or your kid got a great report card all in the

same day. And it's like this is your most your proudest day. Now you're going to do this in the

morning. When you wake up, you can do along with your hands. After you're done wiping the mirror

clean, you can just visually sit there and see this going see that day. Like see what you wore.

See what you ate. See who you interacted with recreate that day in your mind and that subconscious

is where it's actually going to live. So you're living in that highlight reel zone.

So yeah, you can definitely definitely visualize seeing yourself going through that moment that

you are you are absolutely at your best. And I do it three times a day myself. My MBA players

do it three times a day, but I do it three times a day. I do it when after my morning routine,

when I'll have my coffee, I'll be doing it during that time. I'll do it during lunch. I'll do it

during dinner. So I'm scheduling it in that I think it's really important that we actually

schedule things into where we're not just going to say we're going to do it. We put them on the

calendar, but to the point of being very detailed about it, like even for gold. So what I want to do

is second that everybody because you know, one of the things I've done, you know, without really

knowing I did it is every time before I speak when I walk out on a stage, I literally go through a

highlight reel of the best talk and talks of my career, the feeling in my body, what it look like.

One of the thing with all of you with your visualizations to that I want to tell you is it's like

meditation. You'll get better at doing it over time. You'll build the muscle of it to be able to

see it more clearly. You can slow it down into slow motion. You can change the colors. You'll

learn to zoom in and to the extent that you great at doing it, it imprints it more deeply in your

subconscious mind. So give yourself the gift of doing that regularly. The other thing you talk about

man that I love is, you know, we've talked, we've had experts on our show about flow state here. We

talk a lot about focus. Thought it was interesting. I'd never heard somebody say this before, but you

were saying you can have a little bit too much flow and a little too much focus. You talk about is it

the locus? Yeah. What is that? It's one of my favorite terms because we all want to be in the

flow state and we all want to be focused, but often it doesn't go hand in hand, but it's that rhythm

that you can be in flow. So with basketball players or anybody that is trying to do something

at a high level, sometimes we overanalyze things and we're really like, okay, I got to do this

with my elbow on my shot. I got to get to this spot on the court or I got to do this in the business

meeting that I'm at and it takes us out of that flow, that natural rhythm and the talent that

that we have that we've developed over preparation over time. So the key is in this

focus state, you are in the flow, you're going off all the preparation, all those hours that you

put in the 10,000 hours rule, that's a real thing. Like that is that is real as much as we want to

think there's shortcuts. There's not shortcut. It's the myelin in our brain is what develops the

the muscle memory as we know for for sports, for whatever we're doing, but also for our mindset too.

So we live in this flow that we've developed through the 10,000 hours. Now we can also be very

focused, very streamlined while letting our flow be able to take care of the rest. So it's you

know, I mean, both are great, but if you combine them, it's even more power. I love it. You talk

about, um, love in this, just so you know, it's my favorite shows where it's just, it's just,

it's just naturally it goes to people trying to serve. Um, self confidence is a huge thing.

My son just went off to college and people have asked me, you know, are you, I don't know if I'm a

good dad or a bad dad, but I know that what I wanted my son to leave with was some sort of moral

compass. It's for us that comes through faith, but I wanted to be a good person. I wanted him to

embody really, really good work ethic, right? I wanted him to have self confidence.

And the fourth thing is I want him to be able to communicate very well. I think if you have those

four things in life, you've got a moral compass faith, you got great work ethic, you have self confidence

and you can communicate. You're going to do pretty well in the world. Those four things.

The third one, so many people just struggle with overall. It's a, it's at the core of your work,

whether it's, I think it surprises most people that some of the best athletes in the world

also struggle with self confidence. They think they're alone in this and you do have seven steps.

I'm curious, you probably know I was going to ask you this, but why do you think it's such a struggle

naturally for humans? It seems maybe it's not natural. Maybe we learn it to not have confidence.

And then could you give us one other thing that you think, because you say, I infuse people with

confidence, the athletes you work with, that's a direct quote. Another step to helping me build

myself confidence if I'm listening or watching. Yes, absolutely. Great question. And first off,

and like, that is, we know where we get our joy is through the faith. That's so cool that you have

your son and that's, that's why I do everything I do with joy because I know I have faith and

I know I have Jesus. And so first off, that's, that's amazing. But yes, confidence and having this

unshakable confidence is something we all struggle with. Like 98% of us are thinking of the worst

case scenario, even though 98% of the time, the worst case scenario doesn't happen. It's just

you know, in us to think that worst case is going to happen. And so I'll give you an example. So

the comfort, like I preach the confidence gospel to my NBA players for years and years. And I've

seen it take them literally from, from an average player to future Hall of Famers just on that

self confidence alone. And I know we, we all can look around and we, we see that the success,

we see our results in certain situations, we see our resume and we can find some confidence in

that. And that's, that's just, that's great. But that's just the tip of the iceberg of what true

confidence is. And understanding this is the foundation. Literally, I think literally of everything

for confidence, for mindset is true self awareness. And what I mean by true self awareness is

knowing what you stand for, why you do what you do and having it be something bigger than yourself.

So I'll give you an example real quick. One of my best friends is Jeremy Lynn and Jeremy

went through this time with the New York Knicks. It was called Lynn Sanity. He was like taking over

the NBA. He was, he was going Game Winners 30 point gay. Like he was the number one trending thing

in the world for weeks. But if Jeremy was being honest, he would tell you that he,

he didn't really embrace that moment that he was going through that because he was living in the

what is, what if I don't keep this up? What will people think of me? What if I can't keep

performing at this level and it drove him nuts. So those results that everybody saw, man, he should

be so confident. He was, he was very unconfident. But so one of the biggest things that I've seen over

my career that I'm the most proud of is seeing Jeremy come into his own and realize his own

self awareness and that the fact that he stands for so much more than just basketball,

production that he stands for. This is Taiwanese people for his faith in Jesus and for being a great

gourmet chef in the kitchen. Like he has, he has self awareness and things other than what the

world is saying. Hey, this is where you have to be. Like this is who you have to be.

So good. I dropped my son off at college. And obviously that self confidence,

things the biggest piece. He's a college athlete too. And it's amazing that you just phrased it

out. I just want to second things because we've not talked about this stuff. It's just remarkable.

And the last, my, my people that listen to my show regularly will know this. I, I left my son,

the last thing I said to him, as I said, remember who you are and what you stand for.

And all of your confidence can come from those things. And I think there's something, by the way,

self awareness is something I talk about an awful lot. I completely agree with you.

The other thing is I don't think people give themselves enough credit for their intentions.

So I think confidence can come from I'm a good person. I intend to do well. There's a reciprocity in

life, you know, whether you believe in if you're Christian like you and I, the parable of the

sower that, you know, there's reciprocity in life. What you reap is what you sow also,

which is not the parable of the sower, but it's a scripture karma, whatever you think it is in

your life, that their power to intention that I don't think enough people give themselves confidence,

just stemming from their awareness of their intention. Do you not agree with that? I completely

agree with that. I love that. I love that so much on so many levels. Because I mean, what it is

at the core is knowing that, hey, you are preparing for your opportunity daily. We don't know when

that time is going to come. God has that time. And it's on a much better time that we can even imagine.

But everything you do is a preparation for an opportunity to come. The person that you are today,

how you act no matter who's watching or no matter what your job title is, is going to determine

what you're going to be. And I have a story in the book, one of my, one of my former teammates when

I was playing in Europe, he came over and he was, he got a contract with the spurs. And now he

is a great player over in Europe. And he's playing with the spurs. And so he goes from this being

the star to this bench guy. And he told me, he's like, David, I'm going to be the best towel waiver

in the NBA. Like literally, he was going to embrace being on the bench and just waving his towel

and encouraging others. And from that alone, like that became so infectious to teammates where he

finally got his opportunity. He made the most of it because he was ready because he was

going into teammates where he's ended up making about a hundred million dollars with different

teams throughout his NBA career. But would have never done that if he didn't embrace the moment he

was in and do the absolute best with what he was given understanding that every day was a preparation

for a greater opportunity to come. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the

full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show

notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Welcome back everybody. Now today is big time.

I'm talking big, big time. So when I first got into the personal development space,

I was doing a lot of speaking. And I'm in this green room with a bunch of other people. I won't

say who they are. And I'm like, who's who's who? And then one of them goes, that one over there,

she's big money. And it was my guest today. Like she is making big money. And then I learned her story.

And I'm like, no way, what a remarkable story. And I remember thinking to myself that day,

that would be a cool book. That would be a cool book. Turns out it's kind of a book now. So my

guest today is Amy Porterfield. She's got a new book out. You can pre-order if you listen to this

before February of 2023, February 21st. If you listen to it after, go get it too. But two weeks

notice, find the courage to quit your job, make more money, work where you want, and change the world.

And you kind of have done this. So we're going to talk about how to do it today. So welcome to

the show. Thanks so much for having me. This is so fun. I'm fired up. And you do make big money.

And let me give you an idea, guys. Statistically, I went through something here. What is it? Like,

was it how many how many total 40 million downloads of your podcast? Yeah, the podcast. I've had it

for a while. But yeah, it's a big one for me. But there's another stat that was nuts that I was

reading about. How many clients? So we have helped over 40,000 of my students. Yes. And generated

about 70 million dollars in the business since we started. So can I have some? I think you got

enough. So, but you didn't do this over like one first thing. It's just like advice you gave

that I was surprised by. Then we'll go back to your story. You actually start out by saying like,

you can start a business and not know what it is or what you're going to do. How the heck does

somebody do that? I know that kind of sounds crazy, but I really mean it. So here's the thing.

I typically work with a lot of women and women tend to think that they have to have it all figured

out before they get going. Even a lot of men, of course, too. And I feel like that stops people

in their tracks. So of course, you've got to have an idea and you've got to start putting some

feelers out there, but a whole business plan. Absolutely not. All the details figured out,

you'll never get started. So I encourage people to get started even when you feel like you're not ready.

What's get started? Look like what did somebody do? So I'm at a job like you say I'm in a cubicle.

Yeah, you got we're going to talk about some of the story to actually maybe it should be through your

story that someone sees this. So you're working a job. You're successful at this job, right? But like

your lifestyle is not what you want it to be. Not at all. So was there a was it from the very

beginning? You're like, I want to add it here. Was there like a point where you're going? No,

I got to get out of here. So I'm with my family. I'm with my child. What was it for you? Okay,

so here's what happened. I was working this really great job. I worked as the content development

director for Tony Robbins. I got to travel the world to Tony. Do amazing things. So he paid me well,

he treated me well. It was awesome. However, there was this one meeting that changed my life.

Here's what happened. I was in the San Diego offices and I was asked to come to a meeting and I

walk in and there's this big oak table and a bunch of guys are sitting at this table waiting for

Tony to come in. Now this is humbling. I was called in to take notes. So I wasn't even invited

to the main table. I was sitting at a side table and I was called in to take notes and Tony invited

these internet marketers to talk about their businesses because he was getting more into the

online space with digital courses. So he said, come in. I want to hear about your businesses.

So what happened was he went around and he asked each of these guys tell me about your businesses.

We're talking, if you know internet marketing, Frank Kern, Jeff Walker, Evan Pagan,

Brendan Brewshard, like guys we know, right? Really successful. And this is like 15 years ago. So

I didn't know who these guys were. I was in that meeting and I had no idea who the guys were,

but they went around and talked about their businesses. And all I heard was freedom. They talked

about lifestyle freedom, financial freedom. They were calling the shots. They were making things

happen. And in that moment, I thought, I am not free. Like these guys have absolute freedom

to do what they want. And it was the first time I realized in my life, I'm not free. I started

out with a really strict dad who was my boss, like my first boss was my dad, his way or the highway

period. No questions asked. Then I got into the work world and all I had was bosses.

And I was really good at being an employee. I love to climb the ladder. I love to get the

out of girls, the rewards, the promotions. Like I never thought about being an entrepreneur ever.

But then I realized, wait a second, I don't know what these guys are doing. Have no clue,

but I want a piece of it. You really had no clue? No clue. I didn't know how to create digital

courses. I didn't know. I didn't know how they were creating things just like from their houses.

Like it was so bizarre. In fact, then no one works from home. Right. But all these guys did.

So in that moment, I thought, I don't know how they're doing it. I don't know what they're doing,

but I want a piece of it. And that was like my pivotal moment. Wasn't there like, I think some people

like, no, I'm pretty free at my job. Are you really like you were at the story really broke my

heart a little bit. You're at your someone's wedding. Yes. Okay. Let's talk about that. My best friend

got married. And she got married in this little sleepy town in northern California. And by sleepy,

I mean, no wifi anywhere. And I was still in my corporate job. I go to the wedding and the entire

weekend, I was sneaking around to cafes, trying to work on this project that I needed to get done.

And anywhere that there was wifi in these cafes, I'm like pounding away on my computer secretly,

because I didn't want her to know. And so I show up at the wedding. I think I'm being like a great

friend. And we do a champagne toast. And she looked at me and she said, all you do is work. And I

just even now I think about it. I'm like, you're right. And I thought no one really noticed that I

was so obsessed with like grinding all the time. So that was you would think that would be a pivotal

moment that I'd kind of change things. Oh no. I went back to my corporate job and kept on grinding.

So what was the was there a turning point like this is the day I'm going to start something.

Yeah. So what happened was I think that the wedding thing happened and then the meeting happened

at the Robbins organization. And that's when I thought I'm going to figure this out. So I

immediately started to think I started to think what would I do in my own business. And I turned

to a good friend of mine who worked for Robbins. And she was a writer. And I said, you're a writer.

You could go out and be a freelancer. You could have a business. I know nothing to be an entrepreneur.

I've only ever known getting a paycheck from a boss. And she's like, you're crazy. There's tons

of stuff you could do with this. So I started to think like what could I do. And I did a lot

of social media. And I thought I could teach this. I could create a digital course and teach social

media. So that was my first plan. And what I did is I started a side hustle. So I'm a big

proponent of side hustles. I think they're a great way to kind of get your foot out the door. Just

begin and I started to do social media for small businesses. And so that was like my little like,

I'm going to see what this looks like. And I did that for about six months till I officially

quit my job. Okay. Let me ask you about that. Because the purpose of this book to some extent is

like, hey, chase your dream. You don't have to be ready. Don't discount yourself. But there's like

you guys in the book. It's very tactical. Like there's this part of the book where she goes,

the mindset, the strategies, the work. Absolutely. And so we're going to go there in a little bit.

But I want to you. This high side hustle thing. Everyone thinks, well, the way a side hustle

works is because this is the theory. What I'll do is I'll work for six months, 18 months on a

side hustle. My part time income will pass my full time income. Right. And when that gets really

cozy and comfortable when I'm making this transition, then I just go because there's really no

risk at that point. But like 99.7% of the time, that's not really how it ends up happening.

Absolutely not. Okay. So when you do that and how it ended that happened to you too, you probably

weren't replacing your income at all. Absolutely not. And so I started this side hustle and had

a few clients. It was making enough money to barely scrape by. But what happens when you start

a side hustle and you really want to leave your job, you are already gone mentally. Like you want

it bad. And I wanted it so bad. I figured this is my first time to work when I want where I want

how I want to work. I don't want to be on someone else's dime or someone else's time. Like I wanted

it. And that's the first thing with if you're going to leave your nine to five jobs, start your

side hustle, turn that side hustle into a full time thing. You got to want it bad because it's

going to be painful. Like everyone starting a business is not easy in the beginning. Do you think

Amy? I want to interrupt you on that. Actually, do you think it's because the initial move,

you have probably less freedom initially, would you agree with that as a overall statement?

Oh, absolutely. I'm glad you said that. Okay. So this is something I've been thinking about a lot.

If you want to leave your nine to five job and go out on your own and we'll get back to the

side hustle thing, I think that you have to be open to what I call the path of possibility.

Okay. And the path of possibility is picture it as there's like these three circles. The first

one is present where you are. You're comfy. You're cozy. You're in your job. You're getting a regular

paycheck. You're getting benefits. That is a comfortable situation usually. It might not be fun.

You might not love it, but you're comfortable. You're safe. In order to get to possibility,

you have to pass through the middle circle if you're visualizing it, which is pain. And I believe

there has to be pain in order to get what you really want. Have you ever known anything that

you wanted bad enough that it wasn't painful? You have to. So when I started thinking about,

you have to be willing to feel the pain and pass through it. That's where I came up with this

concept of capacity for zero. How much capacity for zero do you have? And what I mean by that is,

are you willing to burn it all down? Are you willing to make less money? Start with zero people

on social media. Start with the business that you're not even sure if it's going to work. Maybe

you have a side hustle a little bit, but like you said, it's not filling up your full time

income. Yeah. And so this capacity for zero. How willing are you to start again? Start from scratch.

And I look back and I think my capacity for zero was very high. I wanted it bad. And that helped

immensely. And it's helped me with tons of stuff that I've started since I started this. I love

this capacity for zero because to our former point that I interrupted you on was because I just

think that what you just said is so compelling is that it's not, it very well might be zero,

meaning if you're making $9,000 a month and you've had a side hustle for six to 18 months,

the likelihood that you're consistently making that same $9,000 and not being on some roller

coaster bumps and downs or just no ups yet is pretty likely, right? So how did you navigate that?

So what I did is I thought, okay, I am going to get just a few clients to pay the bills enough.

And I had husband who at the time, Hobie, my husband was becoming a firefighter. So he wasn't

making a lot of money. So we were in a place that it was a little dicey. And I said, I'm going to

save a bunch of money before I leave my corporate job. I'm going to make a bunch of money with these

clients. Then I'll leave. But I think I realized I wanted freedom so bad. I realized that it was time

for me to go out on my own that I thought if I wait much longer, I'm going to lose the nerve and

I'm never going to do it. So what I teach people is you got to choose your exit date. No matter what,

come hell or high water, you're leaving on this date. And so I looked at the calendar and at that

point, it was about six months out. I chose the exit date, put it on a post it, put it on my

mirror. And every single day I looked at that date. And I said, I'm doing this no matter what.

Now, when you remind yourself every day that you're doing it and you visualize yourself going

out on your own being your own boss, you start to embody it. What decisions do I need to make today

to make this happen? How do I need to show up to make this happen? Who do I need to reach out to

or get support from? So every day I was looking at this date. And so as it got closer and closer,

I realized, I'm going for it. I don't have a savings. I didn't have it at all. And I was maybe

making a fourth of what I was making at Robbins. So it wasn't a lot. But I said, screw it. I'm going to

do this. See, this book is so good and you're so good. By the way, being in your presence now,

like to be able to share this hour with you, I think success has an energy to it. And I'm overwhelmed.

I mean, a lot of people have sat in that seat. I'm overwhelmed by your energy and your capacity to

communicate these thoughts in a way no one's ever sat there has before. And by the way, no one's

ever said this kind of truth on the show, either on this topic. Yeah. Because that is the real

of how you're going to leave something. The funny thing about it is that decision that you just

just stated about looking six months, this is the place. I put it up on my mirror in the bathroom.

That's the first decision towards freedom. Yes. The bondage part is negotiating it. When this,

when this, when this, when this, call the shot. If you're ready to do it, call the shot. That's

the first free. People think massive commitment is a lack of freedom. It's the reverse. Once you've

completely committed that there are no other options, that's the beginning of freedom for you.

Because you have no choice but to execute. So before we start the interview with my next guest,

just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on

Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.

Now on with the show. All right. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So today,

you are going to hear from one of the most influential human beings on spinning earth right now.

She would never admit to it, but she is. She's influencing entertainment, sports, culture,

and she's behind the scenes type person for the most part. So she's probably the most

influential person. Many of you don't know yet because she likes it that way. And so just think

about people like Prime Dion Sanders, think about Michael Strahan, think about Snoop Dogg,

Wiz Khalifa. It's kind of a collective group myself, by the way. This show doesn't exist

without her either the way that it exists today. She is the CEO and founding partner of smack

entertainment. It's a talent management agency, but it's way more than that. It's a business

incubator. She's got an Emmy nominated production company. And just about anybody who's got any

heat on planet earth today, somehow behind the scenes, this lady is touching their lives and

their brand and their businesses. So Constance Schwartz, Marini, welcome to the show finally.

Thank you. And thank you for that great introduction. I'm sitting there like probably red as a

beat because you know me very well. And so when I got the text for you about coming on, I literally

like, if I could do a back flip, I would have done it. But I mentally did one and called like

Marini right away, my husband. I was like, guess who's podcast I'm going on. So thank you.

Seriously, thank you. Well, I want to start out by saying that I don't, I'm going to get emotional.

I don't do this on the show very often, but I just really want to thank you for being such a

believer in me. And you know, most people don't know this, but a lot of the good things you've

seen happen in my life are because of this woman right here. And especially in my business life.

And so I'm grateful for you in my life. So thank you so much. I'm grateful for you. And you're

giving me way too much credit because you were a force when we met. And we might have just maybe

redirected you a little bit, but that's about it. Yeah, that ain't true, but thank you. Okay, so

you guys, I just want you know, she started at the NFL. And then she's built this company. Her

business partner is Michael Strayhand in SMAC. SMAC is the name of their agency and or their

company rather. And they've touched everything, $100,000 pyramid, Fox sports. Most of the people on

there, you name it, but different apparel brands, et cetera. So we're going to go all over the

place today. Let me ask you a question. First con, when you guys founded SMAC, did you know it would

turn into all of these other things? Because you came out of the NFL, right? Like I met you,

I met the after you where you were already ballin, but you and Michael founded this together.

What did you intend it to be? And then what does it become? I love when people act like this was

exactly, you know, executed my vision. I had no idea. I just knew that there was nothing like

this business. And it was almost, I was forced into it because I got fired. And when I went to

interviewed other companies, they were putting me in a box. They said, okay, you're a talent manager,

your sports person, you can do endorsements, you're, you know, non-scriptive producer. I was like,

you guys don't get it. Like I just want to take the last 20 years of my career and I'm going to

build this. And I started it from the kitchen table. I had no idea what it would become.

Started out more management and talent, sports and small. I mean, it was Michael,

Coach Prime, who was, you know, Deon Sanders just, you know, recently, we're not, we're almost

retired four years, three years at that point. My old boss from the NFL was at the NHL and

brought us on to help him on some entertainment pieces of business as they were expanding.

And that was it. You know, so here we are 14, 15 years later. And wow, that's all I can say. But

everything that you've seen from that point till now, it came from just knowing that there's a

piece of business here that could be bigger and better and extended. Same thing that we do with

the people, right? It's like you keep the main thing. The main thing is Coach Prime says,

use your main platform to build around it. And that's what we're still doing. I feel like we're

just getting started. Well, let's take Coach Prime first. Let's just pick one. Okay. So first off,

you guys right now is Coach Prime season three on Amazon streaming. I watched the whole season in

a day. It's that good. It was a sick one day. I watched all the episodes. It's outstanding. But

something's happened with Coach Prime the last four or five years. He was, he's the greatest corner

back of all time, one of the greatest football players of all time. But then like this brand went

bananas, right? You're the behind the scenes on that. She's also on the show. She's in the cover

of sports illustrated with them. You guys like the first thing I got to cover, I'm like, there's

con. She's right on the cover. But what happened? Like, obviously, this is more of the world's become

sort of brand oriented. Everything's brand now, right? So did you guys consciously take Coach Prime

and go, okay, we're going to do this. You're going to post on social order or is this all sort of

organic? What's taking place? Let's just start with like him. It was organic, but with direction.

Like, he's one of the smartest people in my life. It's remarkable. And I knew when he did your

pod last year, you guys were going to hit it off. And I'm so glad you did because you got to see,

what I get to see every day. So when we first started working together, we reconnected because

I helped Snoop Dogg start the Snoopy's football league. Dion had the truth league, which was his

youth league and Dallas. Every year at the Super Bowl, their teams would meet up and play in the

Super Bowl. And so one year I got to call from Dion and he said, hey, who handles Snoop's marketing,

who handles Snoop's business? And I say, well, I oversee the whole operation. Like there's a

team of us, but you know, I'm in the middle of it. What's up? And he said, I need to pivot. I need

a new team on my marketing side. Can you suggest someone? I was like, well, me. And he was like, okay,

and that's literally how we started working together. So when we first started working together,

he didn't have a lot of brand partnerships. Like he was bought when he was playing and then

there was a day, he was on the CBS Sunday football. And then he pivoted to the NFL network.

And that was it. So when we started working together, I had to help sort of recraft and rebuild

his brand, which nobody has been better than himself. And that's one of the beautiful things about

not just him, but the snap clients is they know that we're in it for the right reasons because

I said, I don't care if you're not going to make a dollar on this first big car. So we do,

if it's the right creative and the right brand, we're going for it. And that's what started at our

journey together. So at that point, like I said, he was on the networks and a film network.

There's a night football. Many opportunities started coming his way, but they were going to be

in Dallas. He would not leave Dallas because he was coached all of his kids. That was the most

important thing to him was staying local. He could leave on Sundays or Thursdays, but he had to be

there for football basketball baseball, etc. So right when Shadour was graduating high school and

figuring out where he would be going to college, coach called me and he said, this is one of his

famous things. I'm baking an idea, but it hasn't been ready for me to take it out of the oven for you.

I was like, all right, what do we got? And I popped in and say, yeah, I'm going to be an LA. And he said,

I reached out to my old AD, I went to the AD at my old school, and I want to go help them a

crew. And I just didn't think twice about it. And I said, why would you go and help somebody

recruit? You should go for it and be a college head coach. And he looked at me and I said, I know

it's not the norm. I get it. You don't go from youth to high school, right into college,

but you're far from the norm. And if anybody can do it, it's to you. And that was how that all started.

So wait a minute. You are actually the person that encouraged him to coach instead of just

recruiting. Are you being serious? Oh my gosh, that's crazy. I know. Let's talk about branding for

a second. I want to stay on that topic. You guys, we could go, this could be with constants like

a nine hour episode, but I want it to be relevant for all of you. When you hear like Aaron Andrews,

the Bellas, Snoop, Coach Prime, Michael Strayhand, it would be easy for you to think, well,

they're sort of already at this level. But then you could actually take me and con did this with

me as well. And so let's talk about branding first of all, because I don't know if you remember

this or not, but something really profound you said to me when we met. And it was many years ago,

and I've tried to stay true to this sense. So I don't care if you have eight followers right now,

everybody. Just listen to this. I meet another person, a great friend of ours named Kristen

Proudi introduced us who was sort of believed in me. And I met Con and she was a little bit skeptical

of me. I think as she had seen my content for our ease and jets and all this stuff. And so

we're about halfway through our lunch. And you went, oh, I like you. And you're nothing like

your brand. And you got to cut this crap out. It's quick post in your jet in your car. And

you're really a good guy. You really care about people. But the point that I'm making was

my brand took off when my brand was really me. In other words, I didn't have to create anything.

What I now that I met coach prime coach prime is his brand, right? Michael is this just super

kind guy who you think he's your best friend with everybody that he meets. So if you were to

give someone advice on their brand, they're not coach prime. They're not some famous rapper right

now. Would that be your advice? Like start posting things that are just true organic to you,

or is there some flavor in there? You got to mix in as well to get any traction.

I wasn't skeptical of you. I knew how great you are and how smart you are. But it just was,

like you said, the jets and the forest, you just expect this, you know, different person

than who you are and all the messaging and the help that you provide people. So we're always

coming from this place just because you do have 5 million followers. That doesn't mean you're

connecting to your audience and to your people. I don't have a lot of followers. But I guess what's

the word like the insights or the clicks or just the interactions I have with the people that do

follow go far because I am who I am and I don't apologize for it. And I think that's where a lot

of young people today are so caught up in putting out there what they think they need to because

they see the world of plastic surgery or they see people spending more money on their cars

than their homes. Things that really should be your basic necessities who really cares.

Like it's truly about the messaging, it's truly what you're working on or giving back. It's

the same thing that I tell so many of my friends who are freaking out about what college their kids

going to. I went to Sydney as we go, right? I did okay. Like I have no issues what college

someone goes to and I even have no issues hiring somebody that doesn't go to college as long as they

have great work ethic. If they're giving back to society or to their community, that's way more

important to me. And that's what I mean by a brand and like you now do. Coach Prano is known for

creating the prime time brand in college in his dorm room, but he's still two different brands

almost and he lives both of them. When he's not working, when that camera's not on or the whistle's

not on, he's sitting at country prime in the flats of Texas somewhere on his boat fishing. That's

really who he is, but when he has to be on, he's on. So just going back to what you're saying about

your brand, really in order for it to work, it has to be who you are not, who you think you are in

a sense. That's the disconnect so many people with it. I think have a problem with it. And once you

can find that, it just goes. Like it really goes. It's the same thing when people say, you know,

I'm so unhappy with myself. Well, then how do you expect people to be happy with you? Or how do

you expect someone to have confidence in you if you don't have the confidence in yourself? And

yes, this is a lot of self work and help and things of that nature. But this is what's worked for me

and for our clients and continues to go down that path. Just shoot it straight. No one knows what to

do with you when you tell the truth these days. It's the craziest thing.