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Affluent spouse caused our daughter to betray me in a bitter separation.
Many years later she returned seeking forgiveness after he left her for a new infant.
I, a 32-year-old woman, was in a difficult situation.
Relationship with my ex-husband, Matthew for five years, and we were married for four
years.
Everything seemed perfect in the beginning, he was loving, came back home on time, was
affectionate, and our relationship felt solid.
I thought Matthew was the one for me but as you can anticipate from the title, everything
quickly changed after our marriage and especially when I got pregnant with our daughter, Elena.
You see, my parents haven't been in the picture since I was 17 since they were drug addicts.
I started to live with my grandparents and went to community college to get a degree.
During this time, I was working part-time at our local cafe as a waitress which is where
I met Matthew.
He would come to our cafe for his daily coffee run.
One day, out of nowhere, he asked me out.
I was a bit unsure at first but decided to take a chance and the rest is history.
Matthew comes from a wealthy family and I didn't know this at that time but he would love
bomb me a lot in the beginning.
He would surprise me with thoughtful gestures, extravagant dates, and expensive gifts.
Matthew made it seem like he was genuinely invested in our relationship and I couldn't
help but be swept off my feet by the charm he exuded.
His family's wealth played a significant role in shaping his lifestyle and he spared
no expense when it came to impressing me.
As our relationship progressed, we decided to take the next step and get married.
My grandparents came to our wedding and were extremely happy for me since they loved Matthew
initially, everything in our marriage seemed to fall into place.
However, things took an unexpected turn when I noticed a notification on his phone from
a girl on Facebook whom I didn't recognize.
In a moment of insecurity, I decided to check his phone, something I had never felt
the need to do before.
To my surprise, I discovered he had been messaging random women to see if they were single.
It was quite apparent that my husband was flirting with them.
In the text messages, he was also telling them how he was a widow and his wife passed
away early.
I realized that he was saying these lies to gain sympathy from women so they would feel
inclined to go out with him.
This revelation left me in shock and I couldn't help but take screenshots of the messages
and usernames for future reference.
I then confronted him about it and my husband immediately attempted to comfort me, insisting
that it was just a one-time mistake.
In my emotional state, I couldn't help but ask if he had gone on dates or slept with other
women.
This question seemed to anger him and he started shouting at me that I had no proof to
accuse him of something like this.
I felt bad hearing this since it was true that there was no sign that he had physically
met with them.
Matthew then told me that what I had done was an invasion of his privacy and he was willing
to forgive and forget as long as I let this thing go as well.
Like a fool, I agreed thinking that this might just be a one-time mistake.
What I will never forget is that this incident exposed a side of him that I had never seen
before in all our years together.
While he had occasionally shown anger before, this reaction to me confronting him was unprecedented.
Eventually, this cheating incident started happening more and more.
Every time I would talk to him about it hoping that he would change, he would continue lying
and gaslight me into staying with him.
I have to admit that during that point in my life, I didn't even have the balls to leave
him.
I had no money or assets to my name.
I knew that Matthew gave me a comfortable life despite his discrepancies so I would try
to convince myself thinking that he was great in other aspects at least.
I was so in love with him that I never mentioned his abuses to my own grandparents even though
they would sometimes feel like there was something wrong.
I don't know why but I just didn't want to admit to anyone that I was unhappy with him.
When I got pregnant with Elena, I was over the moon to have a baby daughter.
Matthew seemed unhappy when I broke the news to him but I thought he would eventually
come about.
Unfortunately, things started to get worse from then.
Being a first time mother, I realized that I needed to start setting up a nursery for
our baby for which I needed funds.
I tried talking to Matthew about it so we could go and shop for the baby together, but
to my shock, he got really mad at me.
He started calling me a gold digger and said that I was ruining his life.
I was heartbroken hearing him accusing me suddenly that night, I cried myself to sleep
worrying about my and my baby's future.
I didn't know where to go if he decided to leave me.
But the next day, Matthew acted like nothing had happened.
He told me his mom would be coming and helping me out with the nursery.
I was confused but agreed.
When his mom came, she helped me out with everything but didn't really bother to check how
I was doing.
This is how his parents had always been.
They somehow looked down on me for coming from a lowly family and they expected me to
take care of their son like a maid.
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Hey, this is Byard Winthrop, founder of American Giant.
I started this company because I was fed up with cheap clothes that didn't last and a
system that ship manufacturing overseas.
We believed we could still make incredible hoodies, t-shirts, and pants right here in the
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That's what American Giant stands for.
Throughout my pregnancy, Matthew kept switching between acting normal and exploding in
anger towards me.
He would go on rants about how he felt stuck with me and how he wished that child was
never born.
I felt stuck and didn't know what to expect.
It was too late now to terminate my pregnancy.
As the babies due date got closer, our home became more tense and it took a toll on me emotionally.
When Elena was born, I knew that I had to protect this baby no matter what.
Now I had one more life that I was responsible for so I knew that I could not handle Matthew's
mood swings and emotional abuse anymore.
I needed to find a way to earn money so I could save for a rainy day.
Once Elena was a year old, I started looking for jobs that I could do from home.
In my search for a more stable and reliable work from home opportunity, I came across a
customer service position with a reputable company.
The job involved handling customer inquiries and resolving issues remotely, allowing me
to maintain a flexible schedule while taking care of Elena.
This new job brought a sense of financial independence, but it also marked the beginning
of more conflicts in the beginning.
He forbade me from getting a job saying that it was not needed but I was determined and
I persisted.
I told him how I was taking care of Elena and the rest of the household work so what I
did during my free time should not be his concern.
As my income increased, so did his resentment.
He started accusing me of neglecting my responsibilities at home, despite my continuous efforts to balance
work and motherhood.
The emotional toll was getting overwhelming but I knew that I had to bid my time.
I needed to work and save money so I could have the option one day to walk out of this
marriage.
When Matthew could not pick a fight with me, he would use our daughter against us.
He even taught our daughter the B word and would encourage her to use it on me if she
didn't want to listen to me.
He knew the only way he could get to me was through my daughter, so he would spend a lot
of time with her and pollute her mind about how I didn't love her enough and how he was
the only parent she could depend on.
Now if you are thinking, why didn't I stop this?
I did try my best but daughters are somehow closer to their dads.
Elena chose to believe and trust my husband over me since he was the fun parent while
I was the parent who would enforce rules.
Fast forward to when Elena turned 15 years old, I found my daughter exchanging nudes with
a 23 year old guy when I walked into our bathroom by mistake and saw her clicking selfies.
I immediately confiscated her phone and checked her messages to see all the inappropriate
messages that they had exchanged.
Elena started shouting at me that I had no right to take her phone but I didn't care.
I called the guy she was talking with and asked him if he knew that she was just 15 years
old.
He seemed horrified hearing this and told me how my daughter had lied to him about her
age and he had proof about it.
He then apologized and assured me that he would be deleting her chats and photos and would
never contact her again.
Following this, Elena started screaming at me about how horrible of a mother and how she
wished I was dead.
She abused me some more and then locked herself in her room.
When Matthew came, I told him about everything but he seemed surprisingly calm.
I got suspicious and asked him why as a father he was not reacting.
This is when Matthew revealed that he had known all along that she had been talking to
a guy since Elena had shared with him about her relationship.
He did say that he had no idea about the guy's age since Elena never mentioned that.
I was shocked to say the least and started yelling at him about how he could let his 15-year-old
daughter think it was okay for her to date a guy he had never even met.
Matthew acted nonchalantly and told me that this was quite normal for teenagers.
I was disgusted hearing this and this is when I decided that I had enough.
I told him that our daughter was a child and it was his responsibility to have protected
her instead of letting her send nudes to a 23-year-old guy.
Clearly, he didn't deserve to be a father so I announced that I was leaving him.
Matthew started saying how I was completely overreacting and that I was being a little
too much.
I didn't wait to hear more shit from him and walked upstairs to pack a bag for myself.
By this time, I had saved up enough to put a down payment on my name so I was not afraid
to leave Matthew anymore.
By this time, my grandparents had passed away and they had left behind a small fortune
for me so I knew that I was ready to leave this man so I could protect my daughter.
I told Elena to come with me but to my surprise, she refused.
I told her that I was leaving her dad and she needed to come with me but Elena told me
how I was the worst parent in the world for breaking up the family and that she preferred
living with her dad who could get her everything that she wanted rather than with me.
I was at my wit's end and started pleading with her telling her how she needed to be with
me but Elena refused.
Matthew laughed in my face and told me to get out of his house since Elena had already
made a decision to stay with him.
Watching me walk out of his house, he taunted how the trash was finally taking itself out.
It hurt me to leave my daughter behind with this toxic man but I needed to get my affairs
in order first.
I thought Elena would eventually come around.
I met and hired a strong divorce lawyer who understood my predicament.
We served Matthew's divorce papers.
I didn't want a single penny from him but Matthew, on the other hand, demanded that I
pay him back for all the money he claimed to have spent on me throughout our marriage.
It was utterly laughable since I had been a dedicated housewife, managing our home and
taking care of his needs without any financial compensation.
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The audacity he had to consider as him spending money on me left me incredulous.
Despite my willingness to forego any financial settlement, Matthew remained stubborn in his
demand.
The situation escalated quickly and our respective lawyers attempted to negotiate a fair resolution.
However, Matthew was unyielding, not only about the financial matters but also regarding
custody rights over Elena.
I knew he was doing this just to make it harder for me to leave him.
As the divorce proceedings unfolded, my husband played his cards well.
Although he lost his stand on demanding any money from me since the judge observed that
I had worked hard to serve him so he had absolutely no right to ask me for money, he successfully
convinced our daughter when it came time for custody hearing that she should stay with
him.
He tricked her into standing against me in court, so when the judge asked for her opinion,
she started saying how abusive and controlling I was.
I was heartbroken to hear my own daughters say these lies by portraying me as this big
villain.
I tried to explain how she was talking to an older guy while being a minor herself but
Matthew and Elena refused my allegations.
As a result, Matthew was granted full custody and I was ordered to pay a hefty child support
to him every month.
For me to be able to pay him this child support, I knew I wasn't earning well enough at that
time to be able to pay this much.
During this time, I was still getting settled into my new life as a single parent and had
a lot of lawyers fees to pay as well while Matthew knowingly had dragged this whole thing
out.
I was still in shock after the verdict since I still couldn't imagine that Elena would
do this to me.
She had slowly become exactly like Matthew, a manipulative and a liar.
This child support was also unfair when I was the one who had worked hard to protect her
from him.
Ultimately, I was left burdened with this colossal child support debt that I was now
unjustly going to be forced to pay up.
Shocked by her betrayal, when I confronted Elena regarding this she smirked saying how
it served me right to now pay for her while she could live with her dad and do whatever
it is that she wants.
I tried to reason with her saying how I was only trying to protect her but to my dismay,
she stated that she didn't have any protection and this is why she hated being my child.
She remarked why I couldn't be more like her dad and told me how Matthew had promised
her his entire inheritance, and in her eyes, that seemed to outweigh any loyalty to the
mother who had loved and cared for her.
I was shocked to hear her so casually admit this.
From then on, I knew that I needed to cut off all ties with her and Matthew.
If this is what Elena wanted, then I was going to grant her wish.
I have spent the last three years paying child support while going into debt but making
sure to not miss any child support payments since I didn't want to pay any fines or be
dragged to court again.
Until Elena turned 18 years old, then, she was completely her dad's responsibility I was
finally free.
These last three years have been very, very hard on me yet I have persevered.
I have been promoted twice and earn quite well currently.
I live alone in this flat quite peacefully.
Throughout all this, neither Matthew nor Elena have tried to talk to me.
Yesterday, while working from home, there was a ring on my doorbell.
I opened the door to see Elena standing on my doorstep looking distressed.
My eyes widened and shocked to see her.
It had been three years since I had seen her face.
She smiled at me politely and asked me if she could come in.
Still in shock, I let her in.
Elena looked uneasy as she entered my flat.
The air was thick with tension and I couldn't fathom why she would show up after three years
of silence.
She nervously sat down and I cautiously took a seat across from her.
After an awkward silence, Elena finally spoke up.
She started by apologizing for her past actions, acknowledging the pain she had caused me
when she was a teenager.
Her eyes welled up as she began to share the details of her tumultuous relationship with
Matthew, her father for these last few years.
Elena explained that Matthew had started dating shortly after our divorce.
His new girlfriend didn't share the same affection for Elena.
This would lead to constant clashes between the both of them.
When her stepmother became pregnant, Matthew shifted his entire attention to his upcoming
baby and forgot Elena completely.
She slowly started realizing how shitty of a parent he was.
He didn't really care about any of her interests and now that he had a brand new baby, he didn't
bother about her at all.
Recently, things escalated when the stepmother falsely accused Elena of trying to harm the
baby as Elena was jealous of her child.
Elena told me how this was a blatant lie but the stepmother somehow convinced Matthew
to the point where he decided he wanted nothing to do with Elena anymore.
She told me about the heated arguments, how Matthew told her to get out of his house,
and the subsequent fallout.
From her shaky voice and water work, it was clear that Elena was in a vulnerable position.
She started pleading with me to let bygones be bygones and allow her back into my life,
arguing that I owed it to her as her mother.
My initial shock turned into a mixture of emotions, compassion, anger, and confusion.
It was difficult to digest the sudden twist of events.
However, I couldn't ignore the years of hurt and betrayal.
As she sat, tears streaming down her face, begging for support, I maintained my resolve.
I reminded her of the debt she indirectly contributed to during my divorce proceedings,
the lies she told her her father, and the toll it took on my life.
I told her how hard I had to work to pay for her child support and the debt that I had
accumulated as a result while she lived her best life with Matthew.
With a polite smile, I told her that she wasn't welcome back into my life until she could
somehow find a way to clear the debt.
Elena started arguing saying how she had no one else to ask for help, I told her it was
none of my business and she needed to get out of my house since I wanted nothing to do
with her.
She looked at me in shock but I got up and opened the door for her.
She walked out of my flat, still in disbelief.
Although a part of me is okay with this decision due to the scars from the past that remind
me of the pain she had inflicted on me during the custody battle and the subsequent years
of child support payments, there is also a small part of me that feels sorry for her.
I'd up for kicking my daughter after how she lied during our divorce proceedings and forced
me into debt.
Update 1, I read your comments.
Though there weren't many, I took every NTA and UTA into consideration.
It has made me realize I need to have a serious chat with Matthew regarding Elena.
It's sad that he is such a shitty person and was able to manipulate our daughter so much
that she never maintained any contact with me.
I also called Elena to find out where is staying and she told me she was at her boyfriend's
place.
I told her that I would talk to Matthew about it and make sure that this issue would
be resolved.
To everyone asking why I didn't ask my ex-husband for any money, it's because I honestly wanted
nothing from him when I made up my mind to leave him.
I just wanted him out of my life and he decided to manipulate our daughter into framing
me as a villain.
Since he abused me emotionally and financially, it was difficult for me and my lawyer to
prove that.
At this point, I honestly don't care since I am able to lead a comfortable life on my
own without ever taking his help which I'm proud of.
Also, some of you have asked me why I didn't try fighting for custody again.
Well, when your own child doesn't want to live with you and openly admits that she has
chosen her father because of his wealth, how can you convince her?
Unfortunately, fathers have more rights when it comes to children and given my mental,
and at that time physical, health, I didn't want to go back to court.
Even when I was going into debt for paying the hefty child support, I didn't care and
worked hard just to start leading a normal life again away from Matthew.
Day 2, yesterday, I braced myself for a difficult conversation as I dialed Matthew's number, preparing
to confront him about Elena's unexpected visit and the troubling revelations she shared.
I plunged into the heart of the matter, recounting how Elena had turned up on my doorstep.
Matthew's initial reaction was defensive.
He claimed he was exhausted with both his wife and Elena clashing all the time.
He even said he felt Elena was a danger to his new baby.
I got really mad hearing all that.
I reminded him that Elena was his own daughter, someone who always looked up to him and who
even went as far as lying for him when he wanted her to.
I told him he needed to treat her better, that he couldn't just push her away like that.
I also told him that he had no proof that Elena had harmed his baby in any way except
for his new wife's words and that he needed to start listening to Elena's side of the
story as well.
Though Matthew attempted to cling to his justifications, I sensed a glimmer of guilt flickering beneath
the surface a reluctant acknowledgement of his own failings as a father.
Eventually, I got through to him.
He apologized for kicking Elena out.
I suggested he talk to his parents and ask if Elena could stay with them since she was
crashing at her boyfriend's place.
After some back and forth, he agreed to do so.
I finally felt relieved.
Today, Elena texted me saying she's with her grandparents now.
It's a small step forward, but at least she's in a safer and more stable situation.
I told her that although we couldn't repair our relationship immediately, we could take
small steps towards it.
Update three, it's been four months since my last update, and things have really changed
for the better, especially between me and Elena.
Surprisingly, Elena decided to move back in with Matthew after he apologized to her face
to face.
He also had a serious talk with his new wife, asking her to treat Elena better.
Since then, things at Matthew's house have been calmer.
There's more harmony in their place, and Elena seems happier and more confident.
We did meet a few times and although it is awkward, I understand that I need to forgive
her for the past.
Contrary to popular opinion, I haven't forgiven my ex-husband nor am I back in contact with
him.
I had to talk to him last time for the sake of Elena but that was it.
I have been open to repairing my relationship with my daughter only since she has realized
her mistakes.
I'm proud of the person she's becoming every day.
Our relationship is getting stronger every day as we work through our issues and support
each other.
There are still challenges ahead, but I'm hopeful.

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