American Cognitive Decline: It's Bipartisan

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On this week’s False Flag Weekly News I experienced a sign of cognitive decline: “sudden shouting.”

My outbursts of “sudden shouting,” also known as ranting, were occasioned by astonishment and anger at the audacity of the “Trump shooting” hoax and the gullibility of those who believe it. We have seen some bad magic tricks before—pathetic efforts to convince us that Oswald shot Kennedy from the Book Depository with the world’s worst rifle, or that the Twin Towers and Building 7 blew up due to modest office fires—but the claim that Trump was shot in the ear may be the most hilariously ludicrous history-steering hoax ever.

As I wrote a few days ago, if Trump had gotten his bloody 7/13 coronation PR stunt through sheer luck, he would have defied odds equivalent to winning the lottery. What are the odds that the first-ever amateur to attempt to shoot Trump at a rally would manage to squeeze off any bullets? Maybe 1 in 1000 at best. Normally, security would nail him long before he could shoot.

And if the lone nut defied those odds and somehow managed to bring a weapon to within a kilometer or two of a rally, what are the chances that his bullets would travel anywhere near Trump? Essentially zero, if the Secret Service were doing its job.

But let’s say our first-ever lone nut Trump rally gunman managed to defy all those odds and somehow took a few shots at Trump from a viable sniper’s perch about 500 feet away, as Thomas Matthew Crooks allegedly did, thanks to hilariously unbelievable “Secret Service incompetence.” What are the odds that he would manage to “graze Trump’s ear” in such a way as to create blood for the photo op, without doing any serious damage? If this story were true, which it obviously isn’t, never in all of human history has an ostensible shooting victim been luckier to have been shot in the head.

Crooks didn’t manage to blow Trump’s brains out, but the fabulators who concocted this ridiculous story sure did manage to blow America’s brains out. They must be rolling on the floor laughing with dupers’ delight as they feed us hilariously fake “evidence” that the shooting was real.

Consider the “magic bullet” photo op. The original “magic bullet”—the one that allegedly passed through John F. Kennedy and John Connolly several times, stopping occasionally to make sharp turns, before materializing perfectly intact on a stretcher—is a national joke. But at least the JFK assassination magic bullet didn’t pose for a photo op! The “Trump ear shot” magic bullet, which obviously never existed, felt the need to offer risible proof of its alleged existence by allowing itself to be photographed. Another miracle! Without that photo, there would be no evidence that any actual bullet came close to Trump. (The odds that a photographer would succeed in catching a shot like that are once again in win-the-lottery territory; the photo has been called “a one in a million shot” but the real odds are probably considerably lower.)

And if you thought the “Trump earshot magic bullet” was uproariously funny “proof” that Trump was shot in the ear with a 5.556 mm bullet traveling over 2000 miles an hour, get a load of the long-overdue but now finally released “medical report”! It’s written by an ultra-Trump-loyalist “doctor” (possibly unlicensed) who appears to make Groucho Marx’s horse-doctor-turned neurologist Hugo Z. Hackenbush look like a paradigm of medical integrity:

A spokesperson for the congressman did not immediately provide a response when asked about the status of his license, and Trump campaign’s did not immediately respond to questions.

Jackson has come under considerable scrutiny. After administering a physical to Trump in 2018, he drew headlines for extolling the then-president’s “incredibly good genes” and suggesting that “if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years he might live to be 200 years old.”

In 2001 (sic - should be 2021 -KB) the Department of Defense inspector general released a scathing report on his conduct as a top White House physician that found Jackson had made “sexual and denigrating” comments about a female subordinate, violated the policy on drinking alcohol on a presidential trip and took prescription-strength sleeping medication that prompted worries from his colleagues about his ability to provide proper medical care.

Sounds like just the doctor to convince people like Keith Olbermann, among others who have been demanding an official, well-documented medical report and calling Trump a liar. If Trump’s personal Dr. Hackenbush is the only medical professional they can find to attest to Trump’s alleged bullet injury, that pretty much seals the deal right there, doesn’t it?

Experts who are not Trump loyalist quacks universally admit that Trump’s ear almost certainly cannot have been struck by a 5.556 mm bullet traveling over 2000 miles an hour, leaving only the minor injury that Dr. Quackenbush described. Once again quoting the AP story on the medical report:

“If a bullet whizzes by your ear from a low-caliber handgun, it’s not a big deal. ... You get a headache or feel dizzy like a bad concussion,” said Sarani, chief of trauma at George Washington Hospital in Washington, D.C. “But if the bullet is from an assault rifle, the energy is bigger, broader, and you’re more likely to develop bruises.”

He added, “in Trump’s case, he got very lucky…

Former Secret Service agent Rich Staropoli said the AR-15-style rifle used by the gunman fires a 5.56 millimeter bullet at such high speeds — over 2,000 miles an hour — that just the air pressure as it passes can cause extensive damage.

“The shock wave alone could have ripped his ear off,” Staropoli said of Trump. “It’s amazing the bullet nipped him” and didn’t do any other damage.

“It’s a one in a billion type of thing,” he added.

So multiply the billions-to-one odds of the shooting even happening by another billion to one. At some point we are going to start running out of zeros.

Jewish JFK-coverup commissar Arlen Specter pulled the JFK “magic bullet” out of his rear end to explain the inexplicable. But now the Trump team has one-upped Specter. Whatever will they think of next?

So to sum up: If you believe in the Trump shooting, you believe in miracles. And just as Christians signal their belief in the miraculous crucifixion-resurrection narrative by wearing crucifix necklaces, Trumpians vaunt their faith in the “miraculous ear shot” by gluing feminine hygiene products to their ears.

Dissociated Press

Following Donald Trump’s “magic ear shot” publicity stunt, millions of his supporters are wearing “brain bandages” symbolizing their gullible acceptance of the wildly improbable story. By gluing feminine hygiene products to their ears, the Trumpsters indicate that they have undergone brain-removal surgery and believe everything Trump and the media tell them.

The ear bandages symbolically suggest that the wearers were subjected to “brain vacuuming,” a new form of surgery involving an incision being cut through the earhole, a vacuum hose being inserted, and the brain being vacuumed out.

And if you doubt the above explanation for Republicans’ manifest cognitive decline, watch this clip of Trump smirking as RNC delegates lap up the cynical kayfabe showmanship of Hulk Hogan.

Hogan’s message was unmistakeable: “It’s all kayfabe!” Obviously someone who was genuinely angry that their hero had been shot, and who was sincerely expressing that anger, would not look remotely like this. Professional wrestling is a comedy act in which steroid-addicted men pretend to hate each other and beat the living sh*t out of each other, while everyone except maybe one little kid who just happened to have stumbled upon it on TV knows it’s outrageously fake. Its entertainment value stems from comedy associated with dupers’ delight: “Ha ha ha! Someobody, somewhere, might actually believe this is real!”

So when Hogan symbolically “unveils the truth” (that the shooting was kayfabe) by ripping off his shirt, with Trump smirking in the background, the crowd falls into a trance of “believing” while at some deeper unconscious level knowing it’s all fake. That’s the same reaction generated by the preposterous official stories of the JFK assassination and 9/11. It results in a pernicious form of cognitive paralysis, in which emotional defense mechanisms hysterically rally to defend the indefensible. As one of psychologist Frances Shure’s 9/11-denial patients told her: “I wouldn’t believe it even if it were true!”

Democrats’ Cognitive Decline

The Republicans may be the ones wearing brain bandages, but the Democrats are in even steeper cognitive decline. Their failure to question the kayfabe “Trump shooting” is even more inexcusable, because they have been conditioned to hate Donald Trump and believe him a shyster, pathological liar, and conscience-free reality TV showman who is capable of absolutely anything. (In those beliefs, if little else, they are correct.) Given those assumptions, how could anyone with two neurons to rub together possibly swallow the odds-defying spectacle in Butler? Yet polls show that only one in three Biden supporters suspects the Trump ear miracle may have been staged! That means that two-thirds of Biden supporters are absolute drooling idiots, even stupider than the Republicans lapping up Hulk Hogan’s revelation of the method while sporting feminine hygiene products glued to their ears.

But I suppose that shouldn’t surprise us. That Democrats somehow missed Biden’s obvious cognitive decline, despite several years’ worth of unmistakeable evidence, shows that they too must be suffering from cognitive decline.

In short, we have a brain-dead president, a brain-dead party behind him, an equally brain-dead opposition party, and a brain-dead Republic. Idiocracy has come to America, almost 500 years too early.

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