ANDERSON COUNTY P1’S, BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE … SAUCE BANDITS: HOUR THREE

The rise guys morning show that's more than doing the radio. That's why you guys are still around in the competition's going

The rise guys morning show rule when news matters. It matters where you get your news

It's rise guys headlight. Good morning, everyone. Hey page

Uh-huh, go on

I'm just reading all the all the after-text of that situation like let me get that number this this shot right here says

Hold on let me scroll back down actually more than one kind of said the same thing

Attention any women going downtown greenville white guys are not into you

That's messed up. I can't tell if that's a rival town talking crap or

Maybe uh, it's a it's a gay per a guy. It's not again roasted. Did she say she was 300? Yeah, I wrote it down 55 300. Cool

That means probably like 310 you round down

Uh, maybe she carries the will I don't know but when you're that short, it's kind of hard to

High three bills. Is there like I want to go on a uh, and just say show me a famous person that's five five ways during the pounds

I just want to see what it looks like. Oh, yeah, who does it come up with? I don't know. I'll I'll page

Uh, enlightens us with the news of the morning. I'll tell you officials in Anderson County want us to be on the lookout for

Uh, two people involved in a burglary at a local barbecue restaurant. God dang it. Kind of they still the hog hauler again at the smoking pig

I'll send around 2 a.m. Oh, he's gonna get cancer. They stole

Sweet tea and barbecue sauce and pork rinds. So be on the lookout for the sauce bandits. Yeah

Yeah

Chan McGrines

That is perfect

Everybody in Anderson County they they are now the sauce bandits

And they got surveillance

They stole pork rinds and

Well, they got tea they stole they said wait a minute while we're getting the sauce dude. They got pork rinds

Yeah, I know there's things make me thirsty. It's gonna jug a tea

Why'd you not steal the meat?

Dude, we can get those things they put it into the catering dishes to keep them warm and we can use those on our rigs

Okay, so sauce were they there a throat because it's the smoking pig you can throw bag while you're waiting on your table

So are they after throwing them bag while the other guy is stealing the pork rinds? I don't know

I got a nice little spot out there you can throw bag you can wait

Tell me what what road that's on it's right off of uh

The main drag there 76 I guess yeah in Pendleton it's in La France actually okay the France smoking pig

So if you have heard anything or if you know, but someone who's that

acquires some barbecue sauce?

Babaki you really looking for sauce bandits choir barbecue sauce

You need to call marve the Anderson County Sheriff's Office

864

2 6 0 4 4 0 0 do it again. I thought I'll over that glad

The phone number is 864

2 6 0 4 4 0 0 if you know

Where's the first sauce and they got the numbers for there. I gotta get a page credit because she didn't come up with it

She did say sauce bandits. Yeah. Yeah, that's not already. That's good. That's good

I think one a day I think I think Sheriff's gonna need you to know you're like a multi-vitamin one a day

Careful and might make me sneeze again. I think Sheriff Chad aka Dale junior doppelganger. Cuties. That's it like Dale Jr

So I gotta use sauce bandits now. He should

He should they should make a little AI look like I hate AI, but I've talked about it twice in the same segment

Make them look you know like they're wearing a little stocking cap

Their face has been you know

Blackwood sit, you know like Kevin got a hold on or something

What was their calling card did they leave the water running or they leave a loaf in the toilet?

That'll leave something

Oh, if they want to call makes her messy get away

That's like little rabbits. I don't know. I wasn't there. What if we can negotiate the surrender

I guarantee other P1s. He's a little like we offer Brittany grinder

Like come on

Will want to go shake your oh Rob Rob can negotiate their returns. Oh my god

Too that'd be perfect sauce band. It's called rob.com

Wait, we would we need to know

Check in the let me check

God man, that was just why you still pork rind sweet tea. It's sauce

And then the curdie of the you know, hey like you didn't get no manner pudding

Or any

I should say you need to go back

Like is there money in here? Is there meat like we're just gonna take what we

And why didn't you get unsweetened to thank you very much now? They don't open till Thursday

So I get they hit them before they open but still. Oh, that's why they're I was about to say why would they not take the the hash and now the

You know the goodies you can take the corn hole did you got the

You know corn dogs for the kids

I have those

Oh, remember that one barbecue place we went there that time and

My kid was with us. I said do you have a kid's plate say we have corn dog. Sorry

That's like when you go with you say hey, I won't chair a kid. We don't have cherry kit. We have root beer like

Yeah barbecue corn dogs

Get us sick and we're gonna have to take another day off tomorrow

Was it was it a corn dog is it like barbecue was a pork in the middle of the whatever the hell

Remember the sausage links and the the pancake

Corn dog and in school sausage dogs and those were dogs probably really bad for you

But that a good thing really did

Sausband it's beware. Sorry. Now that's good. Well in other news

Savannah got three was interviewed about the search for her mother

For the today show and tomorrow's episode of the today show she says quote someone needs to do the right thing

We are in agony. I feel like the matrix. He's real

The matrix is real because literally I was saying I've said it a bunch

It's like we're watching reality TV and we're over here like man. I can't believe that season ended like that

We need an update show

Just saying that the other day like even with the all of the awful tragedy and I

I have a sparkle a spark of hope that they're gonna find that one but the the statistics say no

I wonder if the bosses at the network were like hey

Come on do us the solid come on here instead of giving all the updates to Instagram

You know, yeah, you gotta fuck they're gonna pressure at some point right because I mean it is like

And so it will be a ratings killer like I don't know how she comes back. I had don't know with all this going on with it still ongoing

Yes, and she says and I quote and to think of what she went through I wake up every night in the middle of the night every night

She needs to come home now. They're focusing on a certain date. I can't remember what it is offhand

But right this exact date might mean something as far as the case goes

I can't remember this January 6 or 11 through one of those and be a horrible witness that you call to court like hey

They didn't run it. I wouldn't go. I'd say rob tell them. I'm not going right call rob calm if you don't want to go to court

And I pray that he's has library duty. He's never had jury duty and we all pray that they find Nancy go three

Sure, it's out in a lot absolutely but a woman on a page maker that's not showing up anymore on GPS

With medication that you know, I mean

Yeah, I'm sure I hope I hope that she's okay, but also hope all missing people are found now

Instead of I mean like that sounds cruel, but like

You know 80 something you're a woman

versus like kids

Like you get amber alerts like I've gotten two in the last two weeks

And that's in one work scare the hell out of you when is going down the road and that thing goes off man

I can't believe they work. Yeah, very hard. It's like needle in a haystack man. Yeah, look be on the lookout for this baby and okay

Well, do you think there's vigilante? I don't know vigilante

You know the people that set up the catch the child predators online or whatever they set in their cars waiting for amber alerts

To go off and just take off looking for the

And the cops tell those people like you are not a cop do not try to entrap these people. Yeah

Because you could mess up an investigation. You could also end up getting

Here she goes

Pink elephant

All right. Oh, she's about sneeze. Yeah. Well, you don't want to snart either that if she's praying to her nose when she was doing

That's you taking a little toek

She's doing an impression of daffy duck after big got blown backwards

It's only like one side of my nose is

You get a stop at booger sugar honey tooting a little poop. No, I think I've got allergies my eyes are reaching too

Oh, I mean someone's talking about you about your name

Look at honey. Oh my god

I got you some honeybinds. I told you. I did you really did you give the jumbo?

I took what I received it. What was there an assortment? That sounds yummy

I was giving some snacks to get fat boy. You can have some two page. You won't eat it. I know you're you'll forget them. You won't know

The nutty bar is nutty bar. You know they don't give you the full thing

Is it the new is it the new nutty bar the nutty choco? Whatever. I think so it's at a different label on it now

It's like they're going after the higher end

They got some higher end version of snack cakes. Mm-hmm. I got some experiments man. I'll give you plug when we eat them on the radio

I love it. Yeah

All right. Well, okay, it's cakes. They're good too. That sounds good. He uh

And those are your eyes guys. Yeah, he wasn't there

Where they're looking for again page?

Sausband and

Saus

If the local news does it and forget look if you don't like us just put that to the side

Sausband, it's as perfect

Well, who wouldn't like us though? Oh every new station in town for whatever

That means probably a litany of resistance. I mean channel seven. I get I ridiculed their spelling on social media and I

Faked the fight on a live TV show. I was on that station. Well, I tried to fight fake a fight

If I had had a heist through there, it would have worked. I heard it

But you couldn't see it for some reason. Yeah, yeah

But never the light but uh channel four. I mean hell. I used to live right right near you

I used to ride my balsa when you're parking lot and that's why they hate me

When they pick her back and forth

That's a trip

I'd love to hear him argue

This is for those of you got to be working 830

Yeah, you best heard

Better get your ass in the work. You know, I know a business today's to work for

That way to be there at nine you had to be there at 845

Really you had to be there at 845 to start at nine. What's this the porn oh magnus

Yes, no wasn't yeah, I can see that

Because some of these DSDs, man, you want to be first in line? Yeah, but yeah, but that never mattered

Like that. I could be you know, it had these awful. I used to distribute adult pornography

magazines only yeah, and I was not in them

I mean, I would look at the reason they started putting them in the bags

Because I did sit there to look at them on the way down. Well, you can't sell them to schools unless you put them in bags

Yeah, oh here she goes pink elephants or is it white elephant

One makes me see other ones a crap gift you get at Christmas

What's wrong? What can I do for you? Do you need an anti-histamine?

Are you anti-histamine? I'm pro

Histamine are really am are you pro saw span it? Are you pro Palestine? I'm allergic to something

Hard work

We

But that I'd always made no sense to me like so I'm working 15 minutes for free

Well, you got to get your fan ready and you got to do that starts when I when I clock in

Yeah, but they know you're gonna lolligagger here a little there, you know

That's good about having that I went to lolligagger. I still do it about having a job on the road

The job on what she said wow

No, that was great. I repeated it. I don't get it dude. I look you said I'm not a lolligagger

You said that it gives me I'm getting ready to sit up with a receipt for you and I am but go ahead

You said I'm not a lolligagger and I said you're just a gagger

That's right

That's yeah, that's right. No lollig with your gag. Sorry. Well, leave your clothes on

That's just a gagger

That's it's cold. I prefer gagger

Now listen what I'm about to tell you. This is a good little drug song here

Well, it's uh

It makes me drive way way fast. I can see that makes you want to chew the little poop

Doesn't it go look for the saucepan. Big food big food

Let's get jacked up on some poop and get a look for the bandits

I'm gonna drop it to take you know

The bandit was on coke. They just never showed it

You know, it's like he had to get a Texarkana and it was carrying what

He's carrying an elephant one time in a bunch of damn course the other one and a banjo on his knee

Yeah, he was big old donkey if I get uh if I get a text asking if I want to buy like 30 pounds of pork rinds

I'm gonna give the cop uh the cops the tip dude the what the tip

Slow down make sure I set it right

What about just the tips of the cops?

What is that like bucket cup

Like this is gonna go down those we're gonna get pulled over on the way home today

Just share chat. We'll find the saucepan. It's

I want to help now we should go to all

Markets whether it be a fleas or jockeys this weekend. Yes, we should

Should investigate all pork rinds. Let me tell you that there'll be there'll be pork rinds at all of them

Do they got to move them? They got a bunch of sweet tea a bunch of sauce

Smoking pigs got some good sauce. Yeah

Would we need a one of the smoking pigs to come with us to verify it's their sauce because they could re-bottle it might have to

I suspect someone does that with my brand here locally, but I won't say it's a barber shop. It's fine. I'm okay

That is messed up right now. All right. Who cares? It's fine because the markup can make you look bad when you buy host sale

And then you mark it up and set it as your own. It's fun

Anyway, probably is I put a label

It's removed it leaves I put this thing on there that it's a it's this gold in boss hologram sticker that if it's removed

It's still you can't get it all it's like one of those things he's for a seal like on a major document

So I know chip to you don't get host sale process no more Becca all right, you gotta come up with goo lathe for Halloween

And it's like you was

Yes, it goes dress like Robert goo lathe

Why didn't he ever do Robert Boulay?

Won't you do that? I don't own

Boulay I don't know I've got one in the works, but it's uh it's it's too many irons in the fire right now God you like it trying to focus

Yeah, it's hard to I feel really is trying to focus on busting the criminal syndicate

Well, and I hear this money page is talking about I am also going for him of my vagina watching certificate

I'm watching

Someone's already beating her to it, so you better get on that page. I

I do a thing where I wash them and wax them at the same I had to get to the state to do that

I'm staying to get to the state

Well, I'm not from a city

Get do my call and practical hobo hoo-ha washes

You can set up like a outside

Like it's not detailed. It's a hobo hoo-ha wash

I'm not washing the ho-ha. They're homeless Santa Claus impersonators. That's an impersonator

They're at Santa Claus impersonators. What do you call that?

Santa Claus? What do you call a guy on the real Santa Claus? Please stand up. He plays Santa Claus

Like what do you say you see a Santa Claus impersonator? I guess he is like an Elvis impersonator. Oh, aren't they all so they're they're

They're they're they're homeless Santa Claus impersonators and they anyway, it's hoo-ha's for

hobo ho-hoes

Homeless hoo-ha washes you get a Jackson award right now you would it would be it would be from Van Jefferson the NBA player

You might get a peace prize for that. How about this fat boy. I'll wax him if you wash him for me

Hey, now, he's the one that brought it up. I'm just the guy who's looking through the window. I wash

You heard what I said. I practice in wax all North Carolina. Oh

Wax all wax all you can because you're a 20th. Oh, well, thank you for that

You told me you told me when I frantically ran back in here in the room after

I was impersonating a Russian race horse in the other

You should be on the reunion tour then

You got the Russian wolf. You need the Russian race horse

Listen

The guy the whole match. He's waiting for the three-man is a six-man tag

He's sitting there. He's holding his junk because he's got to go to the bathroom

Whatever and finally it's the hot tag and he's like I can't I got to go pee and he leave

Oh, there it is

Look at these horses make you sneeze not pink elephants

Or I thought that was the finisher like a Russian race. They kind of get up there like the shatter machine

But they start to you know

relieving themselves. Oh, that's it sounds like shatter machine. It's called the Russian race horse. By the way

Professional wrestler

That text me when I was asleep last night. I'll respond to you shortly. Maybe a couple action figures on a known

No, it wasn't Jeff. Oh

Was it the Russian wolf? No, I don't know call off. Yeah, but you know what I want you to do that you want to do that by video and I'm like

Why

I think you coming back in here and making cry make him upset. Well, we're going to your place if you want

Yeah

We'll take the train right in

Why did they not why did they not do Polar Express right here on the dam

GE train up and down garlington

He should it

It would be nice like a pink train. He said GE train. Yeah, not the gd train. They have their use. Thanks

That's on the that's on the railway to Hill

I have something to say one number does it all how the TLC motor's text line at eight hundred seven seven four

That's communication. This is the rise guys morning show

Something rise they don't make music like this anymore and that's what old people say, but it's true

Maybe it's because it wouldn't sell. I don't know if there's a dollar in it. They'd still make it right

Mushroom head. We got to change that name boys. Yeah, it was the name and the the mask that you guys were wearing

You also would perform on crucifixes. They didn't really work

If you were in the 70s, though, it would have been huge

I

Sounds like a

I forgot to I kid you not I did see mushroom head at ground zero in Spartanbury

I'm not even making a joke there. Probably saw a bunch of them. Yeah, well the band

the band

We got a lot of people on hold and

You know what's what's funny about this and this might scare her a little bit

So we don't have caller so if you're if you have it on your phone to like show

You know you can show your contact photo or what we can't see the photo, but a lot of times we'll see the name

but a lot of times

It won't show anything

but I've recognized this

I've recognized the phone number online one

It's like you can't text those pictures either won't take it. No, it just shows like whatever whatever dot j pig

I

Would say without a shadow of it out

This is Edith

Is that what you want that I recognize your phone number

Oh, I'm sorry then I'll forget it

What's up with that phone now? What's up with the phone? We got some issues on the you

Lippin or whatever you want a bluetooth or a jawbone you got one of those you talking?

No, let me hear my bluetooth. Yeah, bluetooth song. Oh, damn bluetooth. When were they gonna?

Never never was

I asked you a strange question. Do you have starlink?

Uh, no, okay, okay

I've heard people say like that stuff like they when they got everybody the $60 level or whatever like it was like so

Fast and then like a lever was pulled to like shut the power down

Okay, so

Timo will then I'm just kidding. What uh

What's up with you? What did you do you regret that call the other day? Did you have some old customers call up and say Edith is that you?

Those people probably dead now thing when you were 15

I think you bluetooth done switch that going that was about the dollar one

Uh-oh knowledge at 86 percent. I know you phone number by heart. We can hang up and call you back if you want

All right, all right

So we don't offer this service to most but when someone calls and gives us an hour of content

Hey, a particular morning then uh, we love you. That boy do you mean say it? I got it. Okay. I'll hear him

Give me the out of life

Yeah, she's expecting it because she told she just gave us uh permission

You know page or you sure you want to do this? I have to ask you this. Are you sure you want to call her? I'm sure okay

And we're not offering you any tickets to anything you're doing this on your own free will

I have to do it in the same way. I'm a pretty lady

So fat boy is not fast at dialing the impact on the phone. He's got um you rig

If you're not going to say anything do you say hello, man ditches

Hello

No one was our line. No, can't be our line. We took a call uh from the large woman earlier

Oh, no, oh, Edith

Oh, no, he's talking back

Those things wrong

You didn't get narrow links last time we spoke did you you're not using uh metaglasses or anything?

No, you know, I might I might uh I might look past it. What were you going to say the I hate to be such a prey?

Well, uh

Let me just want to do let the puppy out

Oh, yeah, from last week's step away. Okay. Yeah, I belong to the ascca

She don't want me to come up and find her and I will find her

Oh, yeah, she got so she got a lot of feedback on the f a web coming up from mine and I am not playing dumb right now

Remind me exactly what I'll play it for you. I'm pretty sure

That sounds seven

It's tough. It's probably found it. Here he is. Oh, I actually want to look at the see when it was

Well, he's got to make sure he takes all the f's out

Yeah, I got him numbered so I got to see which number it is real quick. I don't care about ice cream right now people

Sorry, my email's a flood in the ice cream. Oh, yeah, yeah, isn't that crazy?

Oh

Okay, so if you're having a stroke, you're gonna see your phone now. They they were you did

It's crazy. That song is pretty. Yeah, I'm gonna kill that boy for saying you could find that now this

I'm not very strong

How about this see this you keep up with football. Did you know that the New York Jets?

She's to have a linebacker named him Fugger. Did you know that F-U-G-G-E-R real thing?

Yeah

One of the

Players I remember seeing that

Poor phone connections call page calls page to sneeze all right

Edith, let's listen to this together

I just call about my boyfriend's puppy

She came in see it every day morning and the kitchen in our

trailer this same spot too and if it turns up there for a little eight pound

Chihuahua looking

Supposed to be damn pit bull whatever but dude. I just thought about how many socks I have thrown away

Because that shoes that he buys purina whatever the

For puppies. Yeah. Oh my god dude. It seems so bad

And I have thrown away probably about 30 socks. I've been with this dude for like 60 days

You it's funny that it's working in socks. That's like 50 cents a damn day. Oh

So hard to be with this mother. I'm leaving him and I'm just gonna say oh

Left open the door puppy ran away. Sorry. It's got to be one of the other

I'm sick of this

Like literal I am sick of this

I

Think life is what she was doing to let the dog go

Great the poor puppy and and and I will you say what you were gonna say, Edith and then I will

I will interpret it

No, I mean what saying

If you clean it up, it's no different than having clothed diapers on your baby

You take and dump it in the toilet to clean them clean them off and then wash them

That's why

Invented washing the others. That is why they've been washing potters for dogs with bad blotters

And let me ask you this where do you wash the doppers? Don't say in the sink

Oh, no, no, no, no, the cloth diapers once you get all that out

You just put them in the washing machine and wash them good. Oh, he's supposed to run it through the king rig

With water

I thought the air fryer was

God

If you wasn't so funny, we wouldn't have put up with this phone connection. We really wouldn't have it

I really wanted to ask her because you know Edith used to be a big woman

So yeah, one of the kind of attention Edith got that right she ran eight miles a day to get all the weight off right Edith

Yep, in fact a lot of people thought her name was a nickname because she was so heavy

Edith

Oh

God name names who called you that tell us we'll go get them. What's it?

My mom and dad

You just you're the

Gosh, I feel like I should be a portion of the paycheck

Uh-huh. Oh, you'll get all the checks

You'll get a negative zero

I was so afraid yesterday. I couldn't get y'all we had a blank spot where y'all were supposed to be on the radio here

I finally got out of see the work and

Who's that up so I listened to the old tape

but I was

Frantic yesterday trying to find out and thank you paid for letting me know the girl did not

I got a couple messages. There must be like some technical difficulties and chatted nougat specific

Oh lord

What what was the question though that you had for Edith and her because the the subject is heavy women

Well, I don't know she answered it though. I don't think she yeah, yeah, I mean but like

Okay, I thought you were gonna say what was her heaviest weight. No, I knew that but it's didn't like you know

The chick earlier says she only got certain attention. Oh, so I know of Edith got the same attention when she was a bigger woman or if you know

You really know

I like my man like I like my coffee white and sweet

No

Our cream colored

I knew you like more than one good. I don't know

Can I get a coffee black in a minute white? She doesn't like lesbian coffee. She doesn't like lesbian coffee

Those are scissors not stirred

That's great

But if you had your choice, so a black man or a lesbian

What would you say no, let's not answer that now let's talk about this. So what do you want to say to that young woman who

Again, by the way if you have tick-tock I googled it. I don't have tick-tock, but I googled it

I said this on there

Show me a five foot five woman who weighs 300 pounds you go and tick-tock put that in there

You will see a woman with pink hair at a bridle shower or bridle fair or whatever wearing this

I mean, you'll be surprised you will be surprised that how many five foot five three hundred pound women you see

Throughout the time women carried this. I mean, they just do. Yeah, she don't look that big

We give birth. We have to have this bottom you do

Yes, I mean you're not even joking like the hips and everything else. We know Edith carried a lot of hers in the chest

Yes, she's

You know, maybe when they were talking about couldn't fit through the door, maybe it's causing your

Herb resticles

We'll do it

Edith you're a delight and

I I appreciate you

Well, I love you guys. I really do it. I mean that for my heart. You're deep-sea diving right now

Tell Sebastian we said hello

All right, thank you Edith. What a sweet lady. What is she deserves?

She deserves a fun life more new drum foam one of the other when I get some dating advice

You know her next time. Oh, let's see some here. I'll turn my mic off. I'm gonna call in

I said maybe you might be our phone. What is the number?

118

774

4388

That's what Dan would say. Yeah

Well, let's see what you think

All right, are you going outside?

Rise guys are on the air. Who's this? Yeah, I just want hi. This is uh

Bill

I am a four foot five eight hundred pounds. Yeah, this is us

Unless you're doing a bit right now, it is ass

I wonder if it's just that one line

Well, we don't matter now, but now we know it's us. Not her. Well. Oh, yeah, that's me there

We look like a bunch of prick bullies. Bullies. Yeah, do you think the the 300 pound woman broke the phone?

She said

Everything you need