Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Gym II

0:00Welcome, welcome, welcome to our dear anonymous, some Dan Shepherd and miniature mouse is walking here. Today we have Crazy Jim Part 2. Tell us a Crazy Jim story. We have four that really, really deliver. Be careful on the gym and please enjoy Crazy Jim Part 2. This episode is supported by Helix. Okay, so Summers officially over, sad, and I'm trying to get back into a real routine. And honestly, the first thing I fix is my sleep because everything else falls apart when that's off. It's so true. And what I love about Helix is they have over 20 models, so you're not just guessing and hoping for the best. You take a quick quiz, they match you to the right mattress for how you actually sleep. I have the cooling one and it is a game changer. Sleeping hot has become an odd starter. If I'm not on the Helix, like we were at hotels, I can only sleep with the sheet on. That's how hot I run. And Chris and just the other day was like, are you only sleeping on the sheet? I'm like, yeah, and it's off me half the night. So I have to have the Helix cooling.

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2:04Look for seventh generation dish soap and laundry detergent wherever you shop for your cleaning products. All times coming go. Good times take them slow. My life I had a mo. But one thing you gotta know I'm gonna keep on shining. Hi, is it mazy? Mazy like the department store. And when people fucking up what are they most regularly say? Mazy, which honestly I don't really even notice the difference. I get a lot of messy. Monica, have you heard that? Good job. I'm so excited to be here. I'm excited to be here with you. I'm excited to be here with you. Now when you're getting ready this one you have a very fun orange.

3:09Like let's celebrate. Was that in the mix today? You're like I'm in a good mood. Yes and I knew that Monica is a fashionista. I was like what are my colors? How do I come off as my best self? Wow, you're really doing it. I have moved around a lot but I spent most of my childhood in the Denver area. I actually went to your guys' Denver show. Monica was like oh my goodness. That was a long time ago. Lots changed. I've gotten much older. I was reflecting on that while I was in Denver. I was like oh the last time I was here we did that show. Wow fun fun fun. It was very fun. I had a great time. Okay so you have a crazy gym story. I do. I work full time in communications and PR. I like passion job is I coach group fitness classes on the side. 5am, 6pm coaching classes. I've done this for a long time. I've taught just about everything that is available. But right now I really just teach like hit and strength training.

4:10But I've taught spin. Anything you can think of. Have you seen an explosion in females entering the weight training space? I feel like there's a good and positive movement towards that. Yes and I love it. Bone density. Do you do privates? I have in the past. Let's do it. I'm not ruling this out. I love it because you know you get to see people at all different stages of life. Like we have women lifting their entire pregnancies or coming back from back surgery. In my free time I like to try different gyms and like go and take classes at other places where I can be anonymous. No one knows me. Just show up. Have a good workout. And also learn from other trainers. See what they're doing. What works. What does it? So this story takes place in 2021. At time it's hard to remember because it feels like forever ago. We were still doing group fitness classes in COVID facial mask. I was teaching spin at the time. So I got these really nice underarm or brand and masks that were athletic material. So they soak up the sweat better and then they were kind of like shaped. So they didn't collapse into your mouth when you're like running around and breathing really hard.

5:14So I was no stranger to working out in masks. It was the moral of this story before I tell you what went down. I had heard about this gym that was like in my neighborhood. And the really cool thing was they offered altitude training. And so in one of the rooms they changed the oxygen level so that it simulates you training at high elevation. Oh, this feels dangerous. Yeah, really. If this machine goes awry and everyone just slowly dies. Because of that of oxygen. Oh my god, like final destination. Thankfully that didn't happen, but it is a little risky. You're also already at altitude now. Or this didn't take place in Denver. No, it was, but we all like to be extreme. You want to be a base camp for K2? Yeah, so they offered that workout and it's mostly string training in that room. And then they offer another class, treadmill, a little bit more like hit style cardio and lifting. That morning I taught two spin classes six and seven a.m. I went to work and I signed up for the string training class after work in the altitude room. Because I was like, this is cool. I've never done this.

6:15I check my protein shake. And if you do a lot of workouts, you know, you have your routine. And I wore my shoes that are specifically for weight training. And even like my sports bras, not the one I would wear on a run, you're fuelable for. So I'm already for like heavy lifting. And I get there, check in, very nice facility. And everyone's kind of like huddled in the main area. There's like 30 people in the main area. And they're like getting hyped up, bouncing around, high five in. And they're like, benchmark 5k, you know, like, and you really pumped up. And I was like, what's going on? They're like, we're all running a 5k for time today. That's just not what I was expecting. I didn't say anything on the schedule or anything. And I'd already done two spin classes that day. But I was also like, I paid $30 for this class. And I needed proof to these people that I can run a 5k. Like, this is about to be a competition. How about work since there were so many people just now in this one room. You had a partner. One partner would run the 5k for time. And you would mark down their time when they finished.

7:15And you'd hype them up, cheer them on. And then you would switch. And you would run. So I decided, you know, I'm the new girl. Why don't you go first? But in my head, I was like, I need to know what time to be. Of course. Because this is now an unspoken college. Maca Valley and Mia, you are. Yeah, I know. I love your spirit. The people in this ship are phenomenal athletes. She was crushing it. I was starting to doubt myself cheering her on the whole time. We're all in our mess. She finishes. I congratulate her. And I'm like a little bit nervous at this point. So I come out hot. I jump on the treadmill. Really pushing my pace. I'm scared already. I get to like mile two and a half. Since I do run, I have that like a mental game where I know the last part is always going to be the hardest. Your body can keep going. Your brain will tell you you're tired. You know, I'm doing all the coaching in my head. I'm like, you got this. You got this. A lot of times when things are about to happen with your body, you might get like a hot flash or a little tummy rumbling. But I think my body was already in such a stressed state from pushing this pace.

8:15There was zero warning whatsoever. And on authorized evacuation from my mouth begins to happen. Okay. With a mask on. You're looking at an aspiration. Yeah. And you're on the treadmill. Oh my goodness. All of this happens at like 0.005 seconds. You're just vomiting in your mask. I'm vomiting. I'm putting my hands up to like involuntarily try to catch it while that's happening. And I trip over my. Oh. And it's like a belly flop onto the treadmill. Can I ask what speed you had the treadmill set at? I normally run it like a seven. So I'm thinking I was like getting an eight. Oh, no, that's fast. Yeah, okay. So it's like full frontal smack onto the treadmill. In the process of that happening, you know, when you like pop a bag of chips or something, it was like all the vomit squished out of my mask. Water balloon, big explosion of vomit. Yeah. Fuck all over the treadmill. And now just quickly, if I can imagine now you have a ton of vomit on the spinning conveyor belt that's going to also pelt.

9:15Oh, and you're falling off of it. This is an unmitigated disaster. Yeah, I fly backwards. Oh, thankfully it wasn't like the one where the person was taking there. That's one of my favorite stories of all time. I mean, going around and around. I just get straight back. But vomit's flying everywhere. My partner's standing there like, what do I do? And you said you had just pounded a protein shake smoothie. Yeah. So you had what, 20, 30 ounces of fluid. Just pure protein coming out. Oh, yeah, yeah. My partner was very good. She stayed very calm. Okay. And she was just like, we need help. She didn't yell. But yeah, vomit's flattering everywhere. I'm just kind of in shock. Like at this point, my mask is not on. I have this stuff like into my hair because it all like squished across my face. You're laying on the ground behind the treadmill at this point? Yeah. But my inclination is to pop up and just be like, everything's fine. Oh, sure. And I was like, do you have a mop? I cleaned it up. And I just like went into a fixed-it mode. So all the coaches, because all the coaches were there for this big celebration.

10:18Run over. And they're like, this is a badge of honor. You pushed yourself so hard that you threw up in class. It's where the workout community tips a little bit into insanity. Like you can imagine if you had died, they'd be jumping up and down. Would they accept me? You put me to the awesome big goal. It was crazy. The coach was like, I'm an EMT. This is nothing. So he was really great. He cleaned it up. Do you start thinking it might be a meat cut? Was he like tenderly wiping puke off your cheeks or anything? My mind was another place. They got my partner like a new shirt, but not on it. So they really wanted everyone to stay and do like a little circle. No, you can't. That's over. And I was like, I really got to go. And they were like, no, you are the champion today. You need to stay. No one wants to stand by me. I'm just huddled. This is so sad story. This monica of you would, can you even imagine? No. No. That'd be the last day I was alive. Yeah, yeah. If you had to stand there, why people are celebrating you now? No, by the way, though, I just wouldn't. I'm going and then I would just run out.

11:19Cry, you'd be crying. Of course. And then the cry would make the vomit like this day. Like, wash it up, some of it off. But it would be better. Ooh. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's okay. I mean, it made for a good story. And I did email the owners the next day. And I was like, great thing you have going on. Really excited to try the altitude room. I think it would be helpful in the future if you can just update the schedule. Like if there's a special class. So people know what they're getting into. And they were very receptive. So kudos to them. I've been back since then. So are you still exercising at this pace? Yes. I tore my ACL two years ago. I kind of slowed down a little bit after that. And then I recently broke my collarbone. So I haven't been lifting for like the last six weeks. On a bicycle? Yeah. No, same with DAX. Well motorcycles, but it's all the same injury. When you go over the handlebars, right? Did you go over the handlebars? It is. Yeah. Yeah. That's a bus. Were you doing downhill or what was happening? We were gravel biking into Nulley National Park. And I think I was just like looking at the scenery. Movement is dangerous.

12:19And life saving. Yeah. Well, Macy, that story was awesome. You went through the ringer, my friend. It was visceral too. Yeah. So be careful in your treadmill. If I can just like give you a little shot of Monica. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for like the last year. And I've had a handful of miscarriages. And it's been a rocky road. And I recently started listening to Race to 35. Because I think we may need to go down that avenue with some medical assistance. And I was like, I know what to expect because Monica, my friend Monica, has done this. And she survived. I did survive and you'll survive too. That's amazing. Thank you. And just the bravery it took you to do that in such a public way is really inspiring. I appreciate it. I'm going to send you all the love and all the luck. And it's going to go great. Thank you. Well, lovely meeting you, Macy. Yeah. I told my friend Erica, who's my colleague, and I'd give her a shout out because I got her hooked on you guys. We love that. Shout out to Erica. Shout out to Erica. Thank you guys. So nice to meet you guys.

13:19So nice to meet you. Have a great day. And Monica, let me know if you want to train. I will. Take care. Bye. I don't want to train because you get hurt. Well, I don't know if you'll be training on that level, but who knows? Maybe she'll have you running five K. That is a thing I'm more able to do is run than lift. But I need to lift. Also fair to say you haven't had a ton of experience lifting. So you're not sure that you're better at one than the other. You've just have more history doing one. I have more history. I have the body for it a little more. Boob's are hard for lifting. No, for running and lifting because like when I live, I have to live so much. Sure. I'm always lifting. You're always lifting. Okay. I'm ABL. Let's talk to Alex. Oh my god. Hi Alex. This is crazy. I'm really nervous right now. Oh, no. Don't be nervous. First of all, are you a gamer?

14:19You have an incredibly good sounding headset. I'm not a gamer, but my brother is actually leaving with me and he's a true gamer. I like your headsets. They're pretty good looking. Oh, thank you. These are our classic shore, right? No, that's our microphones. Oh, DT770 studio. Okay, I'm writing that down. Yes, please do. Okay, I'm not going to say it out loud, but I saw your last name when the Zoom started. And that's an incredibly interesting last name. What's the origin of that? I'm Brazilian. So that's a Brazilian last name. I really love it. That last portion means sun. So we don't do junior in Brazil. Oh, that's so cool. Okay. And what generation are you? Who came here from Brazil? My whole family moved here about six years ago, but I'm Brazilian. Oh, so you were raised in Brazil? Yep. And where are you at currently? Florida. I'm going to keep it at Florida. Okay. Keep it anonymous. Okay. So you have a crazy gym story. It will take a turn. Oh, okay. Good. This happened a year ago.

15:19I was finishing my second year of college going into my third year. I live in a student housing, which means like we get new roommates every year. And my past room is removing out. I have an empty apartment and starting a fall. People want to start going out. We need to look good. So I started going to the gym. So I'm going to this new gym. I'm not usually want to be socializing at the gym, but there's this guy. And we start talking. And at first everything was okay. He was just a guy who was helping me out with my workouts. It became pretty clear that we had sort of the same schedules because every time that I was at the gym, he would be there. So we just became gym buddies. Everything was fine up until two weeks later when I get an email from my complex with the new roommates listings. I'm already scared. Thank you. So I presume you're working out at like the student gym for the school. Or you like off campus at like a change in gym off campus gym just because I go to a pretty big school.

16:21So it's kind of active to work out at school gym. But I get an email from the complex and in that email, I'm scrolling through the names. And I see this guy's name. And for the story, I'm going to call him Damon. Oh, all right. It reminds me of Matt. Obviously. Yeah, yeah, sure. They'll be easy for you to remember. Let's call Matt Damon actually. No, I have a feeling this person does not resemble that Damon at all. I don't want to give Matt Damon his description. So let's not do that. Okay. Damon is on that list. And when I look, I go through the email a couple times because I cannot believe this. I didn't even know that he was in college. But either way, I sent him a text. And I'm like, hey, like I saw that your name was on my roommates list for next year. Are you in school? I didn't know this. And then he was like, yeah, I saw your post and I saw that you lived at this complex. So I looked it up and it looked like a pretty cool complex. So I signed up for the complex. He told me that he was like a pure coincidence and he was very happy that he got randomly assigned to my unit. At that time, are you taking it all at face value or are you starting to get a little bit of spidey senses?

17:24As you guys say, that was my first dinging ding. Okay, okay. Okay. That was made me ding. Maybe we don't have ding and ding yet, but we definitely have fun. That was a little bit of a breath like for me, but I was like, okay, at least I know one of my roommates were moving in. We already work out together. He seems like a cool guy. Everything will be fine. For the next couple of months, everything is chill. We are roommates. We do roommates stuff together. We watch movies. We work out. We go to the library. At one point, all of my roommates shared locations. At one point, I had a famous location. One day, I checked. He was at a community college and to everybody in the apartment, he presented himself as a university student. That was the second thing. It became pretty clear that he was not going to our school.

18:26I now know this information about him. So one day, I actually confront him about the whole thing. And he just lays out so much new information that I didn't know about. So he is not going to my school. He goes to a community college. He was doing bears to tell the roommates that he did not get into my school. I can understand how that might feel. And then he had a cool personality. He was very chill. And in a span of two weeks, his whole mood just changed. He would come slamming the doors in the apartment. We would hear him yelling in his room, crying in his room. We didn't know what was going on. But me as a friend, I was the only one close to him in the apartment. I decided to have a conversation with him. And that's when he laid out to me that he impregnated a girl, his ex-girlfriend. Okay. All right. At first, he wanted to pretend that it was not his son. I was like, I think the most right thing for you to do right now is to get a paternity test.

19:27Yeah. But he doesn't want to get a paternity test. A couple of months later, the girl actually takes him to court because she's been asking for help because she's pregnant, she got a cause, and he's just ghosting the girl. But at the same time that he's ghosting the girl, I start to see that he's a creep. Because I had his locations, we roommates found out that he was creeping outside of her apartment just trying to see if guys were coming in or now. Oh, wait. I decided that this is not someone that I want to be hanging out with, but I'm in the situation that now he's my roommate. So this now is December of last year. I'm trying to keep my distance, but now his whole obsession with the girl is short of transformed into obsession with me. Every time I would get out of the apartment, there would be questions about who I was hanging out with, where I was going, what time it would be back. Does pattern kept going up until March? He's now taking steroids, and I think he's getting some broad rage.

20:28His mood is not the same. We live in a five bedroom apartment, so there's me and four other guys. He was a pretty clean guy, but the apartment started becoming MS. We had an air fryer, and that air fryer was being used and used in use repeatedly without cleaning. So our fire alignment, the apartment, was starting to go off every night because of the accumulated grease that was burning out. He needs his protein. It's the chicken broccoli rice every day. This roommate is already scared of Damon. He decides to write a post-it note and put on the air fryer asking the guy to clean the air fryer. Damon doesn't take that night's sleep. When he wakes up and see the post-it note, he just crashes out. He not just yell at the guy, but he starts kicking the door. He's yelling, if you're a man, you're going to come out and talk to me. Why couldn't you just have a conversation with me about this? You didn't have to put a post-it note. And to me, it's pretty clear why the other roommate did that. Because he was literally trying to avoid this whole situation. So I get involved because I did not want Damon to actually touch the guy.

21:30I get Damon away from him. And that was the first incident. This incident kept going. I think we had four of those. But never to me. Up until April, apparently three of his eggs were missing in the fridge. And he decided that I took his eggs. Oh boy. The great egg-caper of April. We did have a short of eggs, which I understand. We brought out the worst in immense scarcity. I wake up. I think it's going to be a normal morning. I only have one class for today. I need to do laundry. So I get my laundry basket out of my room. And he's in the kitchen. And the first thing that I see is him pointing at me. And he starts yelling at me. And he calls me a stealer that I've been stealing his food. He knew that I took his eggs. I try to calm down the situation. And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. But can you please lower your voice? Let's figure this out. He did not take that well. He escalated completely. He started coming at me. And then he was yelling slurs. He up until the point that he was about to touch me.

22:30And then at that point, Monica would be really proud of me because I threatened to call the cops. Yes, I won one. Good job, guys. Yeah, good. I think that's Carat and Moth. I went to my room, locked the door. He did the same thing of kicking and yelling. But I was so fed up, so I just told him to fuck off. If not, I was going to call the cops. He did. I was very overwhelmed after that situation. So I decided to get off the apartment, go to my friends place. That same night we were planning to bootie pump, but you know, it didn't work out. Okay. He sent me a text a little while after the whole situation. Explaining that he did not feel like himself. He's been going through so much with the paternity court and his whole situation with the son and everything. And I'm like, I get it. But at the same time, I'm like, I'm going to go to the hospital. I don't get it, but at the same time, I don't think this is a reasonable behavior for you to be having with your roommates. That was my last actual interaction with Damon. After that, I got so scared to live in my own apartment, that it was couch surfing and whenever I completely knew that Damon was not in the apartment,

23:33I would come back, but it was some very stressful time. And that's when my parents actually got involved in this and found out that he had a couple of better retарges and he had to aggravate the domestic violence charges. charges. That's when I was finally able to talk to my complex office to sort of get him out of our leaving song. So that was my story about a Jim friend became a crazy roommate. This is also a mesh of stories. That's true. It was also crazy roommates for yikes. There's a lot here. Was it easy for them to get him out of that apartment? Our apartment complex, we go through some background check. It wasn't easy just because they approved the background check and implored that we have some laws for like non-discriminatory protection. But I think he was also just fed up with us that the office kind of offered him to leave without having to pay anything and then he kind of took the bait and left. Oh gosh. So he's still out there. That was only a few months ago. Was he getting

24:35visible? Was that a guy called? Was he Jack? Where are the Roy's working? The Roy's we're working. There's so many young dudes on Roy's and yeah, they're so emotionally unstable. Yeah. It's insane. What's fucking with their hormones? Oh boy. Oh boy. So he wasn't romantically in love with you. To me, and I can't, you're not supposed to diagnose people that you've never met, especially if you're not a psychicologist, which I'm not. But it sounds a little BDP. He immediately was obsessed with you. Yeah. It did sound like that, but then the Roy's made more sense. It also just points out how tenuous our grip on acting normally is. Like you add a little bit of this into your body and then mentally you're unhinged. The thing that stuck with me was how normal he seemed in the beginning and how quickly things changed and that kind of scared me off from building new friendships and stuff like that because we never know what's going to happen. You don't know. Oh boy. Well, Alex, you're a delight to me. Yeah. I can see where someone really wanted to live with you and be friends.

25:35Nah, this is totally insane. I just wanted to tell Monica that Monica is my biggest parasocial relationship. Oh, I love being on the other side of the parasocial relationship. Yeah. I yeah. All right. Well, good luck with everything. You're about to start your senior year. This is first day of classes. So I'm going to class in about an hour. Enjoy your last year. Thank you guys. Thank you for having me. Take care. Hi there. Kate. Hi. How are you? Cute sweatshirt. Thank you so much. And cute sunshine pendant. Was that what we don't call it a pendant? Charm? What is it? What do we call it? necklace. Well, isn't the necklace the round part? I don't want to get into it. I think a pendant. Okay. Good. Good. Good. And where are you, Kate? I'm in Saint Pete, Florida. Are you shortening Saint Petersburg? I am. Yes. Okay. Okay. Okay. And is bush garden still thriving down there? Yeah. That's over in Tampa. I don't get there often, but it's still going. How far ever drive is that for you? 40 minutes? Yeah. I mean, like half an hour. Oh, even short. Are you in short?

26:39And what kind of heat are you dealing with down there right now? Oh, well, let's just say I shouldn't be wearing this. It's quite unbearable in the summer, but we're towards the end when it starts to get nice and reason why people who've done here. And where are you from? I'm originally from New Jersey. Oh, lovely. I would imagine there's a lot of transplants from that area down there. Definitely. It's a really cool city. We got the beach. There's a really cool like art scene down here. Okay. So you have a fun gym story or I don't know, fun is the right word, but you have a gym story. I have an interesting gym story. Well, first I have to say Monica, happy birthday. Oh, my goodness. Thank you. You guys are so sweet. That's really nice. I know you're a birthday. I'm her best friend. And I have to think constantly. Okay. So there's coming. It's the 24th. You know, I'm not I thought you forgot today. No, you thought so this morning. Just taking a day. So you're singing happy birthday. How could you know before? Or you just were anticipating now is going to come out and I know we should birthday. Okay. And then yesterday I was at your house saying yeah, I thought you forgot.

27:42But I really appreciate you knowing and thinking. Thank you. Absolutely. So my gym story takes place here in St. Pete, Florida. This was in the spring of 2024. And for a little backstory, I had started dating my girlfriend a few months prior to this. And we actually met at the gym. Monica, be cute. That's a different gym story, I guess. Yeah. So at this point, we've been dating for just a few months. We're definitely like in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. And our gym was having a adult field day. Oh, they have it at a local par. But it was like Sunday adult field day that we had signed up for. So that's where my story takes place. So the morning of the field day, we decided to go for a little walk beforehand. So my girlfriend, Jenna and I are walking our dog and all of a sudden this dog off leash comes flying at our dog and latches on to his neck. So everything happened very quickly. But we're both holding

28:43mugs of coffee. The mugs of coffee are all over us. We're on the ground pulling this dog off. The owner comes over. Luckily our dog was okay. That's kind of the start of our day. So we start the day walking back to our house. Pretty rattled. We've got coffee all over us. And I just had this feeling. I'm like, I don't know. Just something about that situation is telling me, like, we just shouldn't do the gym thing today. We should just skip over this whole adult field day. I just have this intuition. But our dog was fine. And she's like, you know what, we signed up for this. We've been looking forward to it. Let's just do it. We get ready. I throw on some gym shorts. And I steal my girlfriends West Falia vintage t-shirt. I felt really cute. And she says to me, that is my favorite shirt. Please don't get grass stains on it. Which I'm like, I'm not going to get a grass stain. Okay. It'll feel good. So anyway, we take off to feel day. There's probably like 120 to 150 people there. There's a couple different vendors that have a DJ. So it's really fun, like little set up. Big turn up. Is there like a Vince plan, like a three-legged race,

29:47that kind of stuff? Yep. So it's like the tug of war, race, all that kind of stuff. Spatata sack race. Exactly. We were put on the same team. We knew a lot of people that went to this gym, but our team that we were paired with are eight other people. And we didn't know them. Start off, we do the tug of war, lose miserably. Next station, lose miserably. And I should know my girlfriend and her are both like pretty competitive people. And like even though it's like a fun, lighthearted day, I'm like, I work here like we're putting in the effort or team slacking a little bit. So we get to a race where it's all of the teams are competing at one. So there's like 12 of us. And it's one of those relay races where there's the potato sack down and back. And then you put the egg on, you know, very fun. So at this point, we were down one person because one girl on our team just

30:47kind of gave up and was like, I don't want to do this anymore. So we're down to nine people. Everybody else got 10. So we start this potato sack goes, we do the egg. And I'm looking around and like we're actually doing pretty good. Like we have a chance here. Like all right, like we're ready to take it off. I was starting like the adrenaline's kicking. And the very last portion of this race was running backwards. So you like run backwards to a cone turn around and run backwards. So we're standing there. There's a guy in front of me and I'm like, hey man, can I go in front of him? I'm really good at running backwards. And he's like, yeah, sure. I find my him on to be like, how do you know that? I know. I would even know if you're good at running backwards. I don't know. Super confident. So I turn around. I make it about five strides. And my foot patches and I just immediately go down. Oh, and I did exactly what you're not supposed to do, which you know, my dad's a college basketball coach. And he always like, if you're in a fall, don't put your arms back. That's exactly what I did. So I put my arms back

31:47in the second I go down on like, I'm screwed. Like this is not good at all. But I did not want to just lay there and have all these people come over to me and want the attention. So I'm like, okay, I've got to get up and finish this. So I pop back up, pull my arms like in close to me. And like, I just can't look down no matter what I do to kill a duck. So I finished the one and go back on my way back. I catch eyes with my friend Chelsea. And she's like, are you okay? I'm like, absolutely not. Keep going. I see my girlfriend. I'm like, I'm not okay. I'm going over there. And nobody kind of really realized when I went down how hard it was. Yeah. So embarrassed. I didn't want the attention. So I finally like run off behind to this little section where nobody was. And I look down and immediately pass out. They are just like dangling. My wrists just don't look like they're attached to my body. You've got silly hands now. What if you had popped up in random and then looked at your hands weren't there? They were back on the ground still.

32:50So I come to and there's a few people that there's this one member who is a nurse and she was amazing. They had these like motivational plaques and she took those and put them on my wrist and wrapped it up to get me to the hospital. I show up to the hospital and they do x-rays and I get put back into a room. And pretty immediately they're like, we had to cut that shirt off. Like there's just no. We got it. I thought that shirt out. So they took a shirt completely room. And you certainly got grastings on it when you fell backwards. Yeah. So that's the rest of you. So we're now just totally all my god. I regret. Wait, can we just try to get off? Well, but can we cut our arms off? Exactly. Yeah, we can't. Don't eat those. Just need the shirt. They get that off and then they're basically like we need to manipulate them back into place before anything else. So you remember those like finger traps that you had as a kid or you put in this? Yeah, we know what they used to be called. I have a picture of this other sentence. But this

33:52machine that they basically put me in. I have my hands up. All 10 fingers are in these. Oh, yes. They gave me some morphine and then the doctor needed to manipulate my wrist back into place. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. This is wild looking. I broke both wrists. Once they saw the X-rays, they were like, okay, you're going to need to get surgery today. And like as I mentioned, my dad is a basketball coach and he's like, you're not getting surgery right now. Like I want to call him and help you like find an orthopedic surgeon. So he's up in New Jersey and he's gone. So I end up leaving hospital. I just discharged myself. I'm on all this medication and the cast went from about here halfway up my arm. So past my elbow. So my arms are literally just stuck out like. Oh, like Uncle Jesse. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. If you don't know that reference, like the position someone's in just before they start doing the robot, that's what you're stuck in basically. Okay. But most people understand

34:54Uncle Jesse from Full House and it was really upsetting and then he stuck like this and it's sad. And I think he wanted to hug someone and he kind of couldn't hug. I forget the details, but it's a sad episode. Okay. I end up getting in touch with the surgeons and I say that they can operate on me at nine days. They have to do both arms at the same time. So I was wearing that for nine days. So I just want to remind you guys that I just got in a relationship. We actually had just moved in together. My girlfriend needed to do absolutely everything for me from like feeding me to wiping my butt. So that was the phase of my really short and with the presentation. Now when you ruined her favorite shirt on top of that. I know. Oh, she's a good one now. Trial by fire. Can she actually come say hi? Before she does, I have a couple follow up questions. Were you on grass or pavement? Grass. You're just going to be uneven, I suppose. I was very nervous. You were going to tell me some bones were out when you stopped running. Oh my gosh, like sticking out. Yeah.

35:55And then last thing is my friend Joy Ricardi when Aaron and I were in eighth grade. We were skateboarding in the driveway and he went off this lawn trip. And at this point, Aaron and I were in his garage having something to drink. We hear him screaming and he runs and he's holding his arm. And when he takes his hand off his arm, it bends like he has two wrists. I'm imagining that's what you had going on because it broke clean both those bones and he just had two wrists. It was alarming. That is exactly what it was. All right, let's meet your impossibly nice girlfriend. Yes, Jen. Hi. Hi, Jenna. I'm so sorry about your shirt. Sounded really cute. It was just pretty funny, but that ended up that way. Crazy. It started to be relationship. Has she made any effort to replace the T-shirt? There's a lot of different websites that she could be, you know? Not yet. If we come across what I'm sure she will. There's one at a store called Max Fields in Los Angeles. It's a Chinato Conner vintage shirt. It

36:56is $2,000. Oh my. If you're interested in purchasing that, maybe. You could either go to Europe or you could get this t-shirt. Choices yours. That can rip another one. Yeah, it's exactly. Was lovely meeting you guys. I'm sorry you had such a terrible day at the field day. If you guys been back, is that an annual event they do? We have nothing back and I don't think that they've done. You ruined it. You ruined it. Well, thanks so much for calling. It's great meeting you guys. All right. Good to meet you too. Hi. Hi. We're confused by the sign-in name and then the name we think you're. Is it Steph? Yes, Steph. Sorry. I'm on my husband's work laptop. We couldn't get mind-to-work so here I am. And is your husband? I see a guitar hanging, but I also see some sound dampening wall behind you. What's happening in this room? Yes, this is my husband's cool shed office that he outfitted. Is that an animal back there? Like a seal. On the printer? Yeah.

37:56Oh, it's a salon. A salon. I think we have that salon. Our kids have that salon. I think you have all the slots that are ever made. That's true. Where are you Steph? I'm in Oregon and the Willamette Valley. Oh, lovely. And are you from there? Or did you move there? So we moved here about a year ago. From? Long story, but Minneapolis and then England and then North York. Oh, my God. Sounds like a fun story. Boy, am I immediately my detective mind wants to know like what industries are thriving in both of those locations that you'd go back and forth. Okay, so you have a crazy gym story. Okay, so this is about six years ago when I still lived in Minneapolis. At the time, I was going to this very cool trendy bouldering gym. I don't really know how else to describe it, but the cool kids went there. Like there was a Cambusha bar, a yoga studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could stay and study if you wanted to, but obviously there was bouldering too. It was always super crowded and it's where all the people gathered and minkled. So on this particular day, I've been there for about an hour and I was working on this one route in particular and had really been wanting to try

39:03finish it. I'd gone back and forth to it throughout the day. I had gotten close several times. There were other people there that were better boulders than me who had been failing at it and I was close. So I just was like, I'm going to get this. I was about to leave that I was like, okay, I'll just give it one more shot. Public service announcement to anyone who does anything dangerous. One last shot slash last run. The second you say that out loud, pack your shit up and go home. Do not ever proceed after one last shot. I wish I knew that he has a tie. So this particular route was on this inside corner. So the route was mostly on this wall and then the last hand hold was on this wall. The only way that I really could figure out how to do it was you had to jimmy your foot in once you got up there and then just kind of like push off and hope for the best that your hand would get that hold. Are you wearing a line? You're in a harness? No, what? Okay, okay. Bouldering is without oh my gosh. All right. The walls are not as high but it was still one and a

40:03half stories. Oh, and is there a pit under you? Not a pit. There's like a mat is a two foot mat. That's not enough. No. I like jimmy my foot in and reached out for it and pushed off and I got it. And my roommate was there and some friends below and I just heard them all cheering and they were so excited for me. I was so excited. But then the force of pushing off caused me to kind of swing one way and then on the back swing my hand fell off and I fell. And when you're bouldering you can fall well like I'd fallen well many times you fall on both feet and then you just kind of roll back and it's great. But I fell with the full impact on my ankle. Oh, well because you're so off-bound. If you were in a pendulum state and that brought you off of your hold, right? You're scaredy-wampus to begin with. You're not falling now straight, right? You're falling sideways-ish. Yeah, it was problematic. So I hit the ground and I just heard the cheers immediately turn to like gasps and screams of horror. That's the worst part. You have the whole

41:09spectrum of human emotion in like three seconds. And I didn't feel any pain at this point but I knew it was bad because of the way people were reacting. So I looked down and where my foot is supposed to be. I just see bones sticking straight out of my leg. Oh, no. What do they call that? They call that a certain kind of fracture when it comes out of your skin. What's it called? A gross and open dislocation is what it was called. Oh, there's blood gushing everywhere. There's just like a pool of blood at this point. Anytime bones are on the scene, it's like a fuck. Really disrupts the natural order of things. Yeah, and it was kind of like if you spray your ankle on a curb and it rolls inward but just kept going. So my foot was like still technically attached. I found out later it was only attached by skin. No, but it was like folded all the way up and I

42:09was staring at the bottom of my shoe. The sole of your shoe. No. Yeah, like imagine money came all the way. Oh, fuck. All the way up. I can imagine passing out from the side of that. I'm not one to pass out easily but I was feeling close at that point. Like I was like either I'm going to throw up or pass out. But once I saw it, I just started screaming fuck over and over again and it was like this kid friendly gym. So I felt kind of bad about what were you going to do? I know, I mean, I feel like if there's an appropriate time to use the F word, that's when it is. Like the kids will understand. Yeah, they need to learn. They need to learn when it's appropriate. She's that word and that's it. But my roommate said that at that point, she saw people just exiting rows and she saw one girl going throw up. It was chaos. Like it was pretty much completely silent in the gym except for my screams. And someone obviously called the paramedics. There's a few people surrounding me. There was randomly a boulder there who was also a nurse and she came and

43:11helped me out. And I asked them when to grab my phone and call my husband. And so I had him on speaker phone and he was kind of keeping me calm. But then when the paramedics arrived, someone took my phone away and I to this day just remember being so pissed about that. It was like, he is, let's keep him calling. Why did you do that? Yeah. But yeah, so the paramedics got there and they said they're going to give me something that would not numb the pain but make me dissociate from it. So they pump me full of that stuff and then they kind of splinted the ankles slightly to get me on the stretcher. Yeah. God bless paramedics. You may do anything worse than rearticulating someone's. It doesn't sound fun. But they probably get a lot of joy out of it. Yeah, it was like a 15-minute drive to the ER. And when I got there, the people that greeted me kind of took a look at the situation. And they said, okay, we're going to put you under for a few minutes just to stabilize you. And then they said, by the way, we can't find a pulse on your foot. So you might wake up without one. I was so high at the time on whatever the paramedics had given me that I did not give a shit about

44:15that. I was just like, please don't cut my climate shoe. That's all I care about. Please don't cut it. It was so expensive. Isn't it funny, the human brain? As someone who's been in several motorcycle accents, your literal first thought is like, is the bike broken? Like how could that be your thought? And it's covered in blood. I've never worn them again. I don't know why. So they put me under when I woke up. I still had a foot. Oh, thank God. Yeah, because you could have torn all the vascularity and stuff. Pretty much everything was torn off. They told me it was hanging on by like just threads of skin. I had major surgery the next day. And then I was there for a few days for the antibiotics. And then they discharged me. So I still have a foot. So glad to hear that. They put plates in there. They thought they were going to, but they actually didn't have to. It was a really crazy injury. It was really rare. I fell and didn't break any bones at all. Oh, popped it off. Yeah, where the leg meets the foot just splitched right at the perfect spot of

45:17those bones. If you ever make a chicken roast chicken and then you're carving it, the wings just pop right off at the joint. That's what happened. There's photos. Oh, this might be the first set of photos. I don't know if I can look at it. Okay, so this was after they slanted it and this was in the ambulance. Oh, my fucking heavens, dude. That's the worst photo I've seen on the show. Oh, that's an honor. What is happening? Steph, Steph, Steph, Steph, Steph. Oh, my fuck. I don't even get it. And I can't stop staring at it. And it's so vile. You can see the little bit of blue and that's my shoe. Yep. And still the wrong way. I'm seeing a shoe just pushed up. All they did is they ace bandage your shoe to the side of your life. They just taped your shoe with the ace. They're pretty much like let's just keep the foot from falling fully off before we get there. Oh, wow. Wow. How soon were you back out bouldering ever? I'm a therapist and says like I got to do some exposure therapy on myself. So I did eventually go to a climbing gym with ropes and I climbed, but my hands were

46:23just like shaking the whole time. I don't enjoy it anymore. Yeah. But I just don't want to be afraid of anything in my life. And so I knew I had to do that to get over the fear, but yeah, it's not the same. I know everything about your childhood from that last sentence. I just don't ever want to be afraid of anything in my life is a very well. No one likes being afraid of horrible. And I can relate. Yeah. Yikes. Well, so glad you walked away with your foot. Good job. Well, take care. Thank you so much. Thank you. I imagine that she woke up from her surgery and she looked down and there was like a Mr. Potato head foot just stuck in there. That's what you saw. What's going to happen? Like they put a prosthetic foot on it. No, Mr. Potato head. Have you ever seen him? I mean actual whole potato. No, Mr. Potato heads foot. I'm okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Have you ever played with Mr. Potato head? Of course. You can't grow up in America. And that spends

47:28time with Mr. Potato. He has like a little shoe, I think. White little shoe and just plug it in there. She just wake up and look and that's just where her foot was. Well, if you see in that photo, there is a hole they could have put a plug in. Potato head. I know. That's a rough picture. Sorry about that last one, but hey, you get what you get. You don't ask for seconds. Who? You don't get upset. You don't get upset. Okay. Oh, love you. Happy birthday. Thank you. All right, bye-bye. I'm a fire-rindish. I'm a fire-rindish. Enjoy.