Asking for What You Want and Getting It

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So I want to share with you a couple of ideas

that we focused on what we just talked about.

What was the key thing?

I just, during Howard's story, I just told.

What was the most important concept that I told in that story?

You don't have to order the mic.

Can you offer me a seat?

Mentor?

Mentor.

You just put out the inventory.

Yeah.

Yeah, what else?

Successful momentum.

What did I do with Gary that was kind of profound,

even if he confessed it was?

Listening to other business people's challenges.

Yeah, that's all true.

That there's one profound.

What was that?

Mentor.

I asked him.

I asked a question.

I asked a question that nobody never asked me for.

I asked for what I wanted.

I asked for what I wanted.

I think it's a down-and-watch symbol of the momentum

that I've been people.

That's right.

That's the concept.

Asking for what you want.

It's a foreign concept to most people.

Asking for what you want.

Look at life this way.

We're going to put the hat on ask for what you want

and look at life how life works.

If you ask for what you want,

the chances of getting it based on my experience

and experiences of my colleagues and students over the years

is somewhere between 60% and 95%.

If you ask for what you want,

that's something worth rescinding the time you'll get it.

If you don't ask for what you want,

how often do you think you get it?

Zero.

Or maybe you might get one or one or two times.

If you don't ask for what you want,

you're not going to get it.

If you ask for what you want,

why don't we do it more at the time?

Like all the time.

People don't.

Because the way you brought up or the belief systems

are all this kind of crap that gets in the way.

And it's this time business happens in personal relationships.

Do you guys that most couples out there have problems with sex

and they're afraid to ask what they want from their partner?

It's absurd.

It happens all through our life.

We don't ask for what we want.

And therefore we don't get it.

And then we get mad at the person

who's not giving us what they want.

So how can you step somebody else to figure out

what's going on in your brain?

So you ask for what you want and all your life

and then your life will work a lot better,

a lot happier, a lot more wealth, a lot more fun.

Got it?

Got it.

Okay.

Woo.

Woo.

Okay, I just want to try out for one of the stories here.

In 1969, I already mentioned that.

Oh, thank you.

In 1969, I already mentioned that.

It's by alarm.

I'm going to go off here.

Hang on.

So let's do that.

The one last thing I know about asking for what you want

is I don't taught me this concept 12, 13, 15 years ago.

Sometimes when you don't get exactly what you want,

you got to rephrase your question or go back to it

and just ask them for a slightly different way.

I mean, sometimes there's a persistence involved, right?

You're going to get feedback from someone and then you got to go,

okay, now what do I do with this?

How do I shift this around, ask for what I want?

But it's amazing how many times, you know,

where you think there might be something complex,

whatever you ask for exactly what you want,

and you get, is that what I said, really close?

95%.

You know, above what you were planning to get for now.

And if you don't, then just rephrase the question.

But as I said, people are so afraid of times

just to ask for what they really want.

Darren.

Darren's asking the same question.

I mean, DJ has been like fear of rejection.

You know, that's like people.

Yes.

Absolutely.

It's like people don't like it to get, you know,

without your fear of this.

Yeah.

And sometimes it's just embarrassment or you know,

some people are, some people ask for discount anywhere, right?

And for other people that's just not in their DNA or their norm or whatever.

They're embarrassed by it.

They're like, oh, don't ask for discount.

I'm afraid of the same thing.

Yeah.

So that's...

Right.

Yeah.

You see, he's asking what he wants, right?

Well, you can't do it.

I just said, you can do it.

You just have to learn how to do it.

Yeah.

I should learn a course called, that's what you want.

Helbert.

H-A-L-B-R-B-E-R-T.

You go to Gary Helbert.com.

I always pass newsletters.

He's dead now.

He died about 10 years ago.

Well, there's newsletters that he wrote.

They're all in line free.

Awesome.

His son runs the website now.

Yeah.

You can go over and look.

It's amazing stuff.

Did you question?

Yeah.

I was going to say one of the things that's one of the tricks I always use is,

you come up present before you ask.

And that's very easy.

People like personal stories.

That's right.

She's telling you something about you.

You just open up.

Well, this isn't trust.

You build trust.

And immediately, you build a level of connection.

Some sort of connection with this person.

And maybe the first one.

I don't know if you've got the second one on you.

Ask for something.

But then when you ask, you already have a level of friendship connection.

Well, you just saw a connection.

You didn't have anything in those circles.

We said, oh, a total of 20 minutes here.

So you went back to the Internet.

You were best buddies.

That's exactly right.

That's exactly right.

I want to finish with a quick little story.

A little story about me back in 1966-69.

I thought, well, my goal was to hit you across Canada,

which I achieved.

But I had to, I got stuck in just outside of Kamloops.

In the middle of August, if you do anything,

what Kamloops in August, it's very hot.

And the night before I was let off,

I had Kam counselor in the middle of nowhere on a trans-Canada highway.

So I get up the next morning at 6.6 a.m.

when this time comes up, whatever time it was.

And I get up to the highway at 6.30 or 7.

I started hitchhiking in 7.00 a.m., 8.00 a.m., 9.00 a.m., 10.00 a.m.,

and not getting any rides.

All I was getting was comments from cars going by.

Dirty hippie, whatever else is going on.

Because they had me get tired of my backpack and, you know,

back back in the old bit.

So I played the part pretty much.

A bit dirty from the, for 50-50s hitchhiking before that.

And funny, I got a ride eight miles down the road.

It wasn't much help at all.

So, in the distance, after dropping me off,

I looked down the road, I thought I saw a gas station

or some other building down there.

So I started walking towards it.

And eventually I got there.

And it was a gas station.

I thought, oh boy, it's a gas station that adds a snack bar attached to it.

You know?

I had a pot machine.

And a candy machine.

So I popped a couple of those each, and then I felt worse.

And now this time, it's around 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

And I had this struck by this thought.

I go to the gig and it gets Toronto.

So I thought, if I'm going to Toronto, I better start doing something.

So I asked myself a question.

What can I do to get myself to Toronto faster?

Right now, it's not working at all.

So if I, if I hold a sign up, it says,

maybe Calgary.

Because if I, if I, if I, Toronto, that's asking for too much.

I didn't know about asking for what you want back then.

So I, I, I, I, I thought if you see Carver by the side of the road,

I pulled out a pen I had in my backpack,

and I managed to carve out the words Calgary on a piece of cardboard.

So I started, he tracked it like this with the Calgary sign.

And I pulled him all my stuff and turned him look somewhat respectable,

but it was telling us it would be.

And, um, finding this car stops and it was an,

it was a green Austin America,

1968 in a lot of the year.

I used to, the cars would give me rights out of it.

I always stuck with my brain.

Because there's so few of them.

And they pulled over and they helped me to load my stuff in the car

and they asked where I'm going.

And I said, I'm going to Calgary.

And you see the sign?

I said, no, we didn't see your sign.

It was on an angle.

We couldn't read it.

Turns out they were going to Toronto.

And I went with them.

And the moral of that story is,

I asked stuff a question that got an answer.

And that's how life works.

Whenever you ask yourself a question,

and then you always get an answer.

And the answer may be the one you want,

and it may be a good one.

But the whole thing is,

asking questions is how you access your brain.

How you access the computer or software.

How you access your brain is by asking questions.

And if you improve your ability to ask questions of your brain,

or your mind, you get really a bit of better answers.

Also a lot of people as well.

And we've already enjoyed tonight.

It's been a lot of fun.

And I hope you guys got some value out of the hot seat circles

or the breakthrough circles we call them.

Did you, thanks a lot for inviting me.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So I just want to personally thank Alan.

I mean, just so that we know in the background that,

you know, Dan talks the story,

you know, of people have known Dan from board.

Dan talks about the story about how he learned how to copyright

and how he mentored with someone and everything else.

Well, this is the Alan Jacks that he mentored with at that time.

And for those that don't know,

Alan and I worked together for 10 years in a partnership.

That's where I met Dan.

So Dan made the connection with me down from that standpoint.

And you may, I see the insights just came back to me tonight

and everything else just thinking about just really the power of questions,

which is really an expertise, you know, with Alan.

If you've got a few minutes to stick around and just ask him from that way.

So even like for me today, you know, when I found out that we needed

to come up another speaker, it automatically came a question, my mind.

What can I do to deliver five to 10 times more value tonight?

This automatic thought that came in where a lot of times

it would have people, people would get stocked, they'd be bummered.

They're like, how could this happen, everything else, right?

But when you think if you ask a question,

it automatically puts you into an action or into a positive state,

you know, no matter what's happening from that way.

And all that stuff I just learned from Alan that way.

So I really, I really appreciate coming out, Alan,

I hope maybe you know, Dan, I can get you come out again

and we can give some other insights from him.

But there's just so many things that Alan's done

that we didn't really get a chance to talk tonight.

Well, so I'll tell you what I'll do here.

Even once to hang around, when we meet over there or something,

anybody wants to ask me any questions or anything?

I'll hang around and answer your questions and questions.

Well, what do I do and what I want to do in this small group?

Okay, that's fine.

You can hear the answers.

Does Alan really like the, some of his business accomplishes

are amazing. I mean, he did, Dan, I cooperating.

He's, you know, he's a little bit more humble in everything else.

But there are a few copy writers that can say they've written a letter

that's actually generated a million dollars in revenue.

And Alan's actually done two of those, those letters in his time.

You know, the actual letters from that standpoint.

He started the real estate investment network,

which was to me, it was amazing.

I'd heard about it before I even knew Alan at that point.

And just to think that he created the whole concept

of the real estate group at the time.

It didn't exist.

I mean, the people now that know about, you know,

rain and re-ag and all these other different groups.

Yeah. Well, we're at a time where none of that stuff was out there.

It was just a thought.

And if you ask Alan the story by, he might tell you it after.

Is it, people laughed at and people ridiculed him.

People told him it wouldn't work.

Do you want to come up with a reason now?

Tell me it wouldn't work.

Yeah. So, I mean, it's just a story.

It's just the minds that just, it always means I heard that story.

That this was just something he had a seed plan in his mind

to what he was able to grow that thing and have it go across Canada.

So, just an exceptional entrepreneur from that way,

also a personal friend from that way.

And, you know, Dan and I still met with him.

And I just really thankful you came out here tonight

to talk to the group.

So, that's it.

Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone.

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