Avoiding Hypocrisy in Parenting

As Christian parents, we want our children to follow Christ as soon as possible. We must avoid hypocrisy in parenting so our children see the Gospel through us. https://youtu.be/DIXjDe54d0k As Christian parents, we want our children to follow Christ as soon as possible. We must avoid hypocrisy in parenting so our children see the Gospel through us. Table of ContentsFamily Worship Guide for Avoiding Hypocrisy in ParentingSermon Notes for Avoiding Hypocrisy in ParentingLesson 1: Resist temptation so you don’t see your sins in your children.Lesson 2: Don’t let past sins prevent you from disciplining your children.Lesson 3: Avoid hypocrisy in parenting by (Part One) modeling what you want from your children.Lesson 3: Avoid hypocrisy in parenting by (Part Four) telling your children you’re a sinner. Family Worship Guide for Avoiding Hypocrisy in Parenting Day 1—Read 2 Sam 13:21, 38-39, 14:33, 18:5, 1 Kin 1:6 and discuss: What sins did David see in the lives of his sons? In what ways did David’s sons’ sins reveal his sins? What are the dangers associated with viewing our children too sentimentally? Day 2—Read Pro 1:8-9, 3:12, 13:24, 19:18, 22:6 and discuss: Why didn’t David discipline his sons? Why would past sins prevent parents from disciplining their children? What can parents tell themselves when past sins prevent them from disciplining their children? When parents have sin-filled pasts what can they their children to avoid hypocrisy? Day 3—Read Rom 2:1, 20-24, Matt 7:1-5 and discuss: Do you have expectations for your children that you don’t have for yourself? What would your children say in answer to the previous question? Do your children see behaviors from you that you don’t want to see from them? Are you presenting a high view of God in your home, not just from what you profess, but the way you live? Day 4—Read Rom 3:9-23 and discuss: Why should parents share with their children that they’re sinners too? What are the dangers for parents if they don’t share with their children that they’re sinners too? Why is it important for parents to avoid making excuses to their children? What happens if children grow up with parents who regularly shift blame? In what ways can children see Christ through humble, loving parents? Sermon Notes for Avoiding Hypocrisy in Parenting The NT is clear that one of the main purposes of the OT is to provide us w/ examples we can learn from: Romans 15:4 Whatever things were written before [referring to the Old Testament] were written for OUR LEARNING. 1 Corinthians 10:6 These things (referring to the OT) became OUR EXAMPLES… 1 Corinthians 10:11 These things happened to them (the Israelites) AS EXAMPLES, and were written for OUR ADMONITION (or instruction). So I like to use the OT to provide examples when I’m teaching. We’re going to discuss avoiding hypocrisy in parenting, and the OT can lay a foundation for us by looking at David and his relationships w/ his sons. If you have a Bible, please turn to 2 Samuel 13… We don’t have time to read all the verses, so let me briefly explain what took place… David had a son named Amnon, and he lusted after his half-sister Tamar. She resisted him, but he overtook her and had his way w/ her. Look at verse 21 to see how David responded when he heard the news… 2 Samuel 13:21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. David got very angry…but that’s it. He didn’t do anything. Consider this happened to his own daughter, but there’s no record of him punishing Amnon whatsoever. According to God’s Law, David actually should’ve executed him. Here’s what ended up happening… Tamar felt violated and alone. You would expect her to go to her father, David, for help and consolation, but instead she went to live w/ her brother, Absalom. I suspect she knew David wouldn’t do anything. While Tamar was w/ Absalom you can guess how furious he became toward Amnon b/c of what he did to his sister. I’m not making any excuses for Absalom, but b/c David didn’t punish Amnon, Absalom decided to take matters into his own hands. Let me ask you to remember what Absalom did: he got Amnon drunk and then he had him murdered. David learned what happened, so Absalom ran away. Skip to verse 38… 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead. After 3 years the pain of Amnon’s murder subsided and David wanted to be reconciled w/ his son, Absalom. There’s only one problem: guess what David doesn’t want to do? Punish him! David’s indulgent attitude toward Amnon is now being repeated w/ Absalom. Look at 2 Samuel 14:33 to see when David and Absalom are finally reunited… 33 So Joab went to the king (this is David) and told him. And when he (this is David) had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom. This signified David’s reconciliation w/ his son, but there’s no punishment. This failure caused terrible problems… Absalom is back in David’s good graces. This is exactly what he wanted, b/c he had a plan he couldn’t fulfill while he was exiled from the land. So next… He steals the hearts of the people... He turns the nation against his father… David has to escape the land… Absalom takes David’s wives for himself… Then in one of the lowest moments of David’s life, his men had to go out to battle against his own son. This would’ve been unimaginably difficult, but here’s the thing… By this point, of course David knows the problems associated w/ not punishing Absalom. So he’s going to command his men to execute him after everything he’s done, so no more harm comes to the nation. Right? Nope. Turn to 2 Samuel 18:5 to see what David tells his men right when they’re about to go out to battle against Absalom… 2 Samuel 18:5 Now the king had commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains orders concerning Absalom. I read this and think, “Are you kidding me?” Consider for a moment about everything Absalom has done: He’s a murderer… He’s a rapist… He stole the throne from his father, and now he’s trying to kill him… He divided the nation… And David says, “Go easy on him. He’s just a kid!” There is a real danger associated w/ viewing our children too sentimentally, and David is probably the best example of this in Scripture. Just to save some time, instead of having you turn someplace else I’m going to tell you about one more of David’s sons… That son is Adonijah. He decided he was going to be king even though David – and more importantly God – had not chosen him to be king. The obvious question is, “How could this young man become so arrogant and selfish?” Here’s the answer… 1 Kings 1:6 [David] had [never] rebuked him at any time by saying, “Why have you done so?” You can tell Adonijah must’ve been a complete brat growing up, but not only had David never disciplined him, it actually says David never even asked him why he was doing the things he was doing. This is why he ended up the way he did! His life came to an end up when he manipulatively went to Solomon’s mother, Bathsheba, to ask if one of David’s concubines could be given to him as a wife. Solomon knew he was trying to steal the throne, so he had him killed. With that, we’ve laid the foundation for our message. Here’s what I’d like to do… I’m going to recount some situations from Scripture and I want you to give me the name of the man I’m discussing: A man saw a woman that didn’t belong to him. He took that woman anyway. Who am I talking about? I could be talking about David w/ Bathsheba. I could be talking about Amnon w/ Tamar. I could be talking about Absalom w/ David’s wives. Adonijah didn’t succeed, but he tried to do this with David’s concubine, Abishag. Here’s the second situation: a man gave another man an invitation. Then he got the man drunk. After that he had someone murder him. Who am I talking about? I could be talking about David w/ Uriah. I could be talking about Absalom w/ Amnon. And this brings us to Lesson 1… Lesson 1: Resist temptation so you don’t see your sins in your children. Think about this… David said, “I don’t care if that woman is married. If I want her, I’ll take her.” Amnon said, “I don’t care if that woman is my half-sister, if I want her, I’ll take her.” Absalom said, “I don’t care if those are my father’s wives, if I want them, I’ll take them.” Adonijah said, “I don’t care if Abishag is my father’s concubine, if I want her, I’ll take her.” David looked very cunning plotting his sexual sin w/ Bathsheba. Amnon looked very cunning plotting his sexual sin w/ Tamar. David looked very cunning plotting the murder of Uriah. Absalom looked very cunning plotting the murder of Amnon. David was a godly, obedient man in most areas of his life, but this is where he sinned and he found the elements of his sins coming back to haunt him. His sons look just like him. David suffered a lot in his lifetime: Think of the rebellion of his sons… Think of the number of sons that were murdered… Think of the betrayal he experienced from friends… But I wonder if anything was worse for him than having to see his sins in his children: It’s one thing when our children sin. It’s another thing when our children sin...but we feel like they learned it from us. Here’s a quote I hope I don’t forget: “A man never sees the worst of himself until it reappears in his child.” There are lots of great reasons to pursue holiness as parents. One of the greatest is so we don’t have to see our sins passed along to our children. ...