Awaken Hope with Mitch Webb on Healing From The Inside

Are you tired of feeling hopeless?

Or do you feel as though you carry around

an invisible ball and chain?

If so, you are in the right place.

It's time now for a wicked hope with Candy Campbell.

Candy is a therapist and grief counselor

that works with women to help them process

and heal from emotional events

that can keep them feeling stuck.

Let's take this journey together.

And now here's your host, Candy Campbell.

Welcome back to Awakened Hope.

I am so super grateful.

I have a fabulous guest here with me today.

His name is Mitch Webb.

Now Mitch is a health coach

and a nervous system expert

who helps clients heal from the inside out.

He works one-on-one with people

dealing with gut issues, anxiety,

autoimmune symptoms, fatigue,

burnout and other chronic conditions.

They haven't resolved through conventional approaches.

Mitch blends functional health principles

with deep nervous system work

to get to the root cause.

So healing isn't just a quick fix.

It's sustainable.

His approach is trauma-informed, body-based,

and tailored to the individual.

If you're ready to feel like yourself again,

Mitch helps you get there.

So welcome, Mitch.

Thank you so much for coming on the Awakened Hope Show.

I am super grateful.

Me too.

Thank you so much for having me.

I'm excited to.

All right.

So it sounds like you have quite the repertoire

of services which you can help people with.

Let's get into that.

Absolutely.

Where should I start?

One, what brought you to this?

Everybody has a story as to why they got into doing what

they're doing.

What brought you to your story?

Absolutely.

People always ask me, where do you

certified in, where'd you go to school?

Had you learned this stuff?

And I say, I went to the school of hard knocks.

And I dug out of my own prison.

And all along the way, I just took what I learned.

And it was obviously difficult to work through at the time

and confusing and a lot of misinformation.

And what do I do next?

And am I OK?

And I basically turn around and make that as simple as I can

and share that where I was at.

And I have quite the health journey that I can certainly

unpack.

And the solutions for me started with food

and learning how to eat here in the US.

We had the state of American diet.

And if you, that didn't feel good and tried everything

and every diet and got really good at learning

how to personalize that for myself.

And then there was exercise and there was detox and biohacking.

And those are the quick fixes.

And eventually, I thought something was wrong with me

because I had all these symptoms like a laundry list

of symptoms that I can get into if you want me to.

But I thought I was broken.

I thought something was wrong with me.

I was constantly looking for some type of disease

or evidence that could prove that I'm broken.

And ultimately, I found the nervous system

and trauma world and learned that my nervous system

was dysregulated.

And that started in childhood.

And a lot of people are societies experiencing that

and starting to awaken to these patterns

and survival strategies that have kept us safe.

And just learning how to interact with that.

And I've been in a mentorship this past year

with Irene Lyon, my mentor, and learning how to facilitate.

And really, when I took the things that I had learned

that I just mentioned and learned about trauma

and how to see things through that lens,

I think we typically look to the external.

We also might talk about what to do

and we want to fix and figure out.

And that really just keeps us in stress.

Since a signal that there's a tiger standing at the door

and the real move is to learn to reconnect with our body.

When we have stress and trauma,

like I said, we're outwardly focused.

We turn towards our pain and our suffering,

our symptoms and know that they're just trying

to get our attention.

They're doing the best they can to help us heal.

And when we can meet that stuff and work through it

little bits at a time, we feel really good.

And it's very innate.

It's very human.

But we didn't come with an operating manual

and we're learning this as we go.

And yeah, like I've done with my journey,

I just share what I learned.

And that is cathartic.

It can be very cathartic because, you know,

you've walked in those shoes.

You understand what it takes to be in shoes of similar pain

or certain amounts of pain,

depending on what one is experiencing

or has experienced in their life.

So you have that, you know, like you said,

you've experienced your stuff.

Who the lens of part knocked.

But I love the fact that you just,

you use your personal experience to help people

see that they too can change their life.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's just, it's just natural process of we,

I think we want to help people.

And when you've gone through that,

you see how many other people are suffering

because you can see that in other people.

And in my response is, let's make this easy.

Let's make this something that each individual can do.

That is, this is human.

It's just been conditioned out of a society

wants us to be controlled and by staying in stress

and being poisoned with the food and the water

and the overstimulation and the numbing agents

and the fix at the band-aids

that we put on these things that we say are bad

and it's just our body being human.

And the more we can accept and allow

and let that innate intelligence inform what we do next,

then we become our in medicine

and that's what it's all about.

And our body keeps score.

Our body keeps score of all the pain.

Everything that we went through,

everything that we experienced is tracking it.

One thing I've always told the listeners

and told people that I know that, you know,

I had my own share of trauma from early on

in my life and little did I know,

I didn't know this until much later in my life

that you can't run from the trauma.

You can't run from the pain that the trauma

is eliciting in you.

It's there for a purpose.

It wants to, it's trying to teach you something,

it's trying to show you something and many of us,

and I am speaking to the choir when I say that,

many of us, it's like we put on a happy face

and we go, okay, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

Things good, you know, but it's not.

We're just like, we just wanna kind of go into that denial phase

of like, no, nothing's wrong.

Your body's going, hello, that's not, you're not fine.

I mean, it's subtly talking to you

whether it's giving you small symptoms

or something, you know, it starts in a small whisper

and then it comes out, if you ignore that,

which I've been complicit in that.

I have gone past that blare, you know, ran right past it.

And to the point that my body was like, hmm, okay,

you've ignored the small, simple symptoms,

I've given you, we're gonna give you something more.

And if you ignore those, we're gonna give you something,

you really can't afford to ignore

because if you ignore those consequences,

you're gonna be even more dire

than what you could even imagine.

Yeah, definitely, you know,

and I think that starts at a really young age,

you know, we learn this is how I have to be

that these parts of me are too much

or not enough or I need to hide this

or make myself small and need to walk on eggshells.

Ultimately, I can't be myself

and I'm gonna learn to take on these protective patterns

so that I get love and I get attention

and that looks like people pleasing and perfectionism,

it looks like all or nothing thinking,

it looks like intellectualization staying in our head

and disconnecting from our body in our experience

and then we go into this performative,

exhausting way of making other people happy

and doing whatever we can to not feel

the symptoms of disconnecting from our body

and those are the symptoms

and it's basically those little parts

that were deemed unwanted, unlivable

that they don't belong,

well, they've been out in the cold for a really long time

and the symptom is, you know,

the thing that's gonna bring us to our knees,

it's just a little kid knocking at the door

and begging for acceptance

and we would a little kid, like,

keep them out in the rain, slam in the door

because it and we do that because it's so unconscious

and we think these survival patterns are us

and underneath all of that performance is the authentic us

and it takes a lot of courage and small little drops

to feel safe enough, to wade through those emotions

and that we haven't allowed ourselves to feel

the symptoms get louder and louder and louder.

Well, this is gonna lead us to a small break

and then we're gonna come back

and I would love for you to share, you know,

how someone can work with you if they find themselves,

they're resonating with this going, oh my gosh,

he's talking to me, I'll be right back.

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Welcome back to Awakened Health.

I am so super grateful.

Again, Mitch Webb is here today with me

and we have been talking about early childhood trauma

and how it is crying out for people to just listen to it.

You know, our traumas,

it doesn't matter when it starts.

For many of us,

trauma starts early on in our life.

It is crying out to have us listen,

to have us acknowledge it.

If we don't, which many of us do

and I am very much guilty of this, I ignored it.

I stuffed it.

I ran from it.

You know, it's like,

see no evil here, no evil here.

I'm not listening, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I did that and people would be trying to help me

and I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope.

As Mitch just talked about, it comes out.

It shows up and we, you know,

we've been conditioned to not acknowledge it.

I would love for you to share, Mitch,

how someone can reach out to you,

how they can work with you

and what types of services that you can kind of guide them with

or get them on a right path,

going the right direction.

Yeah, no, I appreciate that opportunity, thank you.

Well, number one, my website is mitchweb.com

and I post regularly on social media.

You'll see me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and LinkedIn.

On Instagram and TikTok, I'm at KMitchweb.

I just Mitchweb on Facebook and LinkedIn

and I also have a podcast on YouTube

called Rooted Conversations that people can shape me out there.

And in the show notes,

well, I'm gonna give you guys a free quiz

so that you can just, you know, so much of the nervous system

is education, you know, all these things

that we're talking about, they're normal.

It's super normal.

You really can't go through life without experiencing these things.

Now, whether we're ready to work with that

and admit that and see that,

that's a different story.

But for the folks that are feeling the tug,

and it's like, oh, man, I think he's talking about me.

I've had chronic symptoms of done everything

and, you know, I'm still not where I want to be.

Well, then that's the people that I'm talking to you

and for the nervous system quiz,

it's basically just take, it's like 10 or 15 questions

and you're really just learning

about your primary nervous system state.

Now, that changes all the time

and be able to identify that

and then get some education on what that means

and what that looks like

and potentially how to work with that.

And then you get a free little meditation

to start to connect with your body

because this work is so much about awareness and education

and, you know, I really like to see once you can see it,

you don't have to be it.

And once you can normalize these things

that are happening in our body that are very human

and common, then we need this as grip.

And we can start to soften and meet

and be willing to sit and be with these sensations

and feel them, allow them and see what they need.

Instead of what we've been doing,

which, you know, you mentioned that,

we're running away, we're numbing, we're fixing it out.

You know, we're doing anything but getting curious

and being with that part of us

that's been standing out in the cold.

Again, our body just keeps on, keep score.

It will keep coming back and back and back.

You can't, you can't outrun it.

The body was like, nope, nope, nope.

You know, we think we're smarter than our body

but our body's like, no, I'm gonna give it,

I'm gonna give it to you in a way

that you have to listen to me.

And it's not, it's just, it's carrying out for help.

It's kind of like if you have kids

or you know small kids,

when they're hurting, if mom and dad

or their caregivers ignoring them, you know,

I mean, I see it in stores

when they're trying to get mom and dad's attention

and they're like, you know, mommy, mommy, mommy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

And mom and dad for various reasons is like, nope,

not focusing, you know, no, be quiet

or whatever they're doing.

If you really aren't paying attention to them,

those kids get louder.

And they get louder until they point,

it's like, I am going to get loud enough

that you're gonna have to acknowledge me.

And it's the same with our body.

Our body, our pain gets louder.

You can't outrun it.

You can't put it away, you know, it starts coming out

and it starts throwing things at you

where putting up big, big things

that kind of get your attention.

And if you don't pay attention, it goes, okay,

I am now gonna give you something,

you have no other choice but to listen.

And then life blows up or your life as you know it,

your health as you know it, whatever situation

just exploded like a ticking time bomb

and you're like, oh, where did that come from?

Where did you come from?

And it's like, life's been talking to you,

your body's been talking to you all along.

But those silent whispers that started off so gentle

at that didn't get acknowledged, said,

mm, mm, mm, no, no, no, I am gonna give you something

you cannot ignore.

I resonate so much with what you do

and how you help people.

I love the fact that you have a heart for it.

You have a heart for helping people

because you've walked in similar shoes.

You're not, it's not like you woke up one day

and said, oh, I'm gonna help people heal from me inside out.

You went through some,

I'm sure some pretty hard experiences, my guess,

because most people that usually have that type of heart

have walked in shoes that many would go,

I really don't have any desire to be in those shoes.

I can say when you work with people like Mitch

who have walked in similar shoes or hard shoes,

you know you're gonna have the best support.

He is gonna be able to give you the support,

hold space for you, give you the wisdom and guidance

that you can't necessarily see

because when we're mired in our muck and our problems,

all we see is the problem.

It's hard to see anything outside of that problem

because that problem became so loomingly large

that it takes up that much space.

So you need to work with people that have been through

that type of process, they know what they're talking about.

All right, what else would you like the listeners to know?

And let's give a, if you would be amenable to it,

an example of how you work with somebody.

I left that off when I was telling you where to find me.

That's okay, that's okay.

Right now, it's one-on-one work, you know,

it's a, you know, a set week,

I meet people all over the world.

I work with people here in person

in Riley, North Carolina as well,

but the majority of my work is online.

And typically I meet with people once a week,

every other week, they drop in whenever they want.

And it's hard to describe this work

because it's so different for everyone, you know,

but there is a lot of education.

I feel like I am constantly, you know,

re-normalizing what's going on for people.

And, you know, people have been doing everything imaginable

to fix and hack themselves and, you know,

take all the supplements, do all the diets,

be the single mom and be in the boardroom.

And that's just, and that's just not how we're meant to operate.

And so we're learning to slow down to learn how,

I mean, most of the stuff is unconscious, you know,

but we work with what's there.

And so we may be having certain behaviors,

certain beliefs, certain sensations in the body,

certain symptoms.

For me, it was constantly changing,

whether it's a gut issue this week,

it's chronic anxiety the next week, it's insomnia.

And I was, felt like I needed to be the glue

holding life together and that I was responsible

for fixing something that was broken.

And it never was.

And it's, it just shows nervous system dysregulation.

And because your nervous system is connected

to all of the systems of the body,

it's kind of operating system.

So if the computer that is kind of the battery

that runs everything, if it's malfunctioning,

it basically just means that we get stuck.

And so we're not able to shift out.

So we don't get stuck in really high activation

that may look like anxiety.

Well, that's going to jack up our quarters all

and that's going to make our nervous,

our excuse me, our digestive system have a lot of clamping in it.

And so our digestion can move really fast

or it cannot move at all.

And we can be fatigued or we can feel like our hair's on fire.

And we can also feel like, I don't feel anything.

I feel nothing, I feel numb.

And we just start in relationship with getting curious

with these different patterns.

And what happens in our body when we feel that sensation,

what's it, that's more of a somatic approach.

So somatic means body.

And I like to combine all the things.

So in the somatic world, we might hear,

oh, you just need to feel your feelings and shake it off.

You know, when an animal was stressed

and running from a predator, it gets away and it shakes it off.

And you're an animal too.

Well, humans aren't animals, we have beliefs.

And these beliefs may say, it's unsafe to feel the shame

and this fear that I've been running from my whole life.

And so that doesn't mean we're going to jump in

and do this big practice or this seven day detox.

It's like, no, can we get curious

and start to feel that sensation in our body

and recognize the emotions?

And this takes time.

You know, when I came into this work,

my body was on fire and I didn't know what to do.

And I didn't know what emotions were.

Super common for guys.

You know, we have like two emotions,

rage and anger that we can feel that are approved.

And we're multifaceted.

You know, we're emotional too.

And we can, if we can allow and accept

the sensation, these emotions to come up,

we can meet them where they're at.

Well, that charge in the body gets to release.

It's kind of like sitting on a beach ball and in the water

and trying to do what we do all day long.

It's exhausting.

And when we can trust and learn safety over time,

one drop at a time,

then these sensations and these emotions,

eventually they get better.

And, you know, you mentioned quick fixes.

This isn't Xanax.

Yeah.

Yes.

It's one little thing at a time.

And it is long term.

I was better say it doesn't have side effects,

but absolutely it has side effects.

And it may be, it's kind of the ultimate red pill

because we wake up and we see what's going on in my body.

What's going on in my family?

What feels good?

What are these friends that I don't think they're friends?

These people I'm surrounded myself,

that I'm performing for and I'm stressing myself out,

telling myself I have to make other people happier.

Please this person where I gotta be perfect.

And we think that's who we are,

but really we're underneath

and we get the opportunity to meet that version of us

and to put down the performance and the force and the pressure

and we get to just be and be us and live life

and free up all that life force energy

that we've been suppressing and avoiding

and being us is a whole lot easier than all of that mess.

And it's we can't do it quick, you know.

So I went out the biohacker before

and I was teaching people how to fix

and somebody come on my podcast six months ago

and I had so much fatigue,

I could barely get out of bed in the morning,

I was still taking medication to sleep,

trying to do everything right

and she told me, hey, you know what keeps us stuck

in this sense of tired state is trying to fix it

and trying to figure it out.

And I've been doing that for two decades

because I feel safety felt like as a child.

And there's a lot of grief and anger

and fear that comes up with that and we meet that

and we accept that and we keep moving

and we let out those emotions

and it's really cool to see when I trust my body

that it knows how to do this and it does.

Most people that come to see me,

they're doing what they want to do.

They're just not quite aware of it yet.

But when we can trust the natural wave that is life,

activation comes in, we goes up.

What happens right here is we typically get scared

and we shut down and we say, I don't want to feel this

and all that emotion and that train of that energy

and the body keeps the score,

that's stuff that's in the body that's the body

that's keeping the score on, it's moving

but we say, no, I can't feel that.

And we don't know how we scare ourselves,

the beliefs that we've created, the stories

and eventually we learned to trust that wave

and boom, you come down the other side and it's freedom.

From that stress has been kept in the body

and I learned that you may not need to trust myself

for 90 seconds and I can move through this

and it's a beautiful thing and it's an achievement

and it is your God-given right to do that stuff

and so you're not reinventing the wheel

or doing anything special, there's no magic here.

When you've been controlling your life to feel safe,

taking on all these protective patterns

in this damn sure feel like a magic trick

and do that, then I've done my job.

Okay, well it's something that popped into my mind

when you were talking, especially and it's not

because you're a male but I think you could,

well, males will tend to resonate more with a male,

not always, you know, they can look at your situation

and go, oh, okay, if he felt that maybe what I'm feeling

is normal or is not normal or whatever they're telling themselves.

If you had someone that was kind of teetering

on the fence, not quite sure, they know something's not right

but they're not kind of falling forward,

they're just kind of standing still.

What would you say to somebody that is struggling

and they know they know they need support

but they're on the fence about asking for help?

I totally get that.

That was me in many, many dark nights of the soul.

The old Mitch health coach guy would sell you

and get you really interested in this

and tell you you need to do it.

And now what I know is all I can do is meet the moment,

I can shine the light, I can be the light house

but as soon as I put force and pressure onto you

to get this right or do this thing,

then your system's going to withdraw

and it's going to go right back to where it was

and it's going to go back into those patterns.

So all I can do is share my experience

and share what it's done for me

but I can't chase that person down

and make him do anything.

I can just be the light

and if they resonate with it, I'm talking to me.

That's all for free consults.

It's just, we talk for 30 minutes

and see if this is the fit for you

and if we like each other

and if we feel like we could be good team.

But other than that, it might sound harsh

but it's not my responsibility

to make someone see the light.

It is my responsibility to share my journey

and what's helped me and I think people,

I'm just real and I think people resonate with that

and if here's something that's interesting,

people always ask me like,

you know, people say that makes me feel this way.

Well, I would say nobody makes you feel,

that's impossible.

You are feeling something

because there is something that is unresolved in you

that when I'm sharing my story is triggering you

and that's something that we can get curious about

have a conversation about and see,

is this right right now?

Are there some other tools that we need prior to that?

Like if we are still, you know, eating crappy food

and abusing our body in whatever shape or form

we could abuse our body with exercise.

We can abuse our body with controlling healthy food

and restricting and hurting ourselves in the gym.

You know, all those things can happen.

And so maybe there's some things that we need to work on first

and the cool thing that happens is we don't have to figure this out.

Our nervous system is the map

and it will tell us what we need

and that is just a conversation.

And it's like, I can't force you,

but I imagine if we get on a call and this is resonating,

then what's meant to come up will come up

and that have to trust that.

And that makes my system feel safe

and that makes the other person feel safe

and we have safety.

Our nervous system gives us layups.

It says, here you go.

And that comes in the form of sensations

at tears, emotions, you know,

I think about the course that I got from my mentor

when I got into this work.

I tried everything, you know.

And I did, I was on a plane flight down the Florida,

which is like an hour and a half from here from North Carolina.

And big part of this work is we want to tight trade

and go slow and do little bits.

And I took my survival pattern into that, all in nothing.

I'm going to figure this out right now.

And it was 21 days.

And I did three days in a row

and I couldn't sleep that night.

And I had medication.

I took my kit, nothing would not meow.

And the next day I was really tired, you know,

because it had stirred up stuff in me.

Mm-hmm.

I was walking around and crying.

I'm like, I don't ever cry.

What is this?

And then me said, this is it, you know?

And it makes me tear up just kind of talking about it.

But I knew from how hard I've been working

that this was different and that this is what I did.

And I know people are just going to feel that.

Oh, I honor, I honor how you approach things.

And the fact that you, like you said, you shine the light.

You can't make somebody want to get the help.

But someone that's been on the fence,

they know that they need something.

They're just sometimes we get, we know we need it.

We've been hearing things from other sources

or other people.

And it's like, how do you fall forward to say, I need help?

But I like the fact that you just have a conversation

and you shine some light and you help them

what they need to see.

And that, you bring about awareness.

And awareness is, it is, it's priceless.

Because the more where you are, the more you can make sound

decision.

Have awareness, then we're making decisions

based off of unawareness, which as we all know,

if you make a decision based off of unawareness,

it may not be the best decision for you or for the outcome

you're seeking.

Yeah, we, we go from fixing and trying to figure this out.

And eventually we learn to trust and that tells me

the system is no longer insurvable that you can fail.

You can get it wrong.

That's part of learning.

That's okay.

This isn't urgent.

And I'm, I'm good with me.

And that's a journey.

That's a journey from here, from the head to the heart.

And it's only about, I don't know, less than a foot,

but it can take, it takes a while.

That is true.

It'll be 20 years.

Well, the important part is you, you listened.

You listened to where, what you needed and you,

you did wake and wake up and become more aware of what

your body was saying, what, what you needed to see in here.

Which is going to lead us to a short break.

We'll be right back and we'll continue

with this amazing conversation.

Stay tuned.

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Welcome back.

Again, Mitch Webinar talking, we were talking about his,

you know, what he would do if someone's on the fence,

you know, you're resonating with what he's talking about.

I told him over the break, I really do honor the fact that he,

he shines light.

He's not going to necessarily,

he's not responsible for you seeing the light,

but he's going to help you see it, make you aware of it.

Because again, the more awareness you have,

the sounder your decisions are going to be.

And we were talking about over the break,

so we're going to kind of get into this, you know,

the world we live in today is kind of tricky.

And there's a lot of forces, a lot of things

occurring around us that can kind of propel us to a place

that we don't necessarily always want to go.

And if you're struggling with grief or trauma,

whether it be big T or little T,

and you haven't dealt with it,

and it's starting to come up,

oh, living in today's world will just further complicate that.

So let's kind of talk back and forth about that.

Yeah, I mean, I think in earlier segment,

we were kind of talking about this being a red pill moment,

not politically, just more awareness.

We, when we're in survival, we are unaware.

And like you mentioned the second ago,

when we come out of survival,

we just have more choice.

And we can see things as they are,

instead of being controlled.

And that's what I see is over this last year or two,

really seeing how society controls us.

And it's so well designed.

You know, if they can keep us stressed out, sick, poisoned,

overstimulated, pointing to the other side,

thinking that this person is separate from me,

that I'm bad, you're good, whatever that is,

and we have the news, and we've got social media,

we've got politics, we've got crappy food,

and it's really to separate.

And that separateness, we're doing it to ourselves,

we're separating from our body, we're living in our head,

we're trying to think our way to society,

so they put us in a survival state.

You can't be authentic, you can't be yourself.

And then we go into the patterns

and everything is directing you to stress and control.

And when we're in that stress,

we're out of our high brain,

out of our prefrontal cortex, and we're reactive.

And you see that everywhere.

And when you start to do this work,

you start to see these things, at least I did.

But just like we said, okay, now I'm not in survival,

I realize I have a choice.

Do I have to interact in this stuff?

Or can I set a boundary and say, not today, not for right now?

And what happens when I put that down?

I don't know about you, but my phone goes in the airplane mode

if I want it to, you ever try that?

Oh, yeah, no, I'm often accused of,

did you turn up your phone?

I put it into, I turn off my ringer

and I'll do something in a husband's always like,

I tried to call you and I'm like, oh, okay,

he goes, turn up your phone.

I'm like, I'm not attached to my phone.

I mean, I do look at it and I'll go on,

but then I'll do what I'm doing, need to do,

and then I turn it off.

And I'm like, I am not, and part of it's my age,

part of it, I'm gonna age myself

because I didn't grow up with phones.

I mean, I always had to make sure I had enough

nickels and dimes or quarters to make a phone call

and hope I could find a phone booth to call my family

or friends if I was in trouble or needed help.

I was a grown adult by the time I got my first cell phone

and even then it was a big bag phone.

It wasn't anything like we have these days.

I mean, I thought that was cool, having a bag phone,

but yeah, so that's just aging myself.

I don't think I want to be here

shaming people that are using technology

that are, that are unaware, you know,

it's just going, hey, you can trust,

I use technology all the time.

We're doing it right here.

That's how we're able to talk.

You're in Hawaii, I'm in North Carolina,

I think it's pretty freaking cool.

But when we're more aware of ourself,

we start to recognize what resonates

and when we notice that contrast,

it's such a big part of healing.

Oh man, you know what?

When I'm around these people, it feels really good.

It's like I can beat myself.

That's how my work started.

I went to see a therapist and she goes,

we need to kind of set a goal here, what do we want?

And I was like, I want to get rid of this freaking anxiety.

I hate it.

She's like, they ain't going to work.

That's your body communicating with you.

And it's not bad.

You just been taught that it's bad.

You know, it is, it's thank God we had that.

Or else we wouldn't be having this conversation.

That anxiety saved my life.

I actually learned, I want to feel safe being myself.

And so I learned really quickly, well not quickly,

but slowly, what who felt safe and who didn't?

And it's very surprising.

When you start being yourself and you recognize these patterns

and you learn to set boundaries, you learn to say no,

you let yourself rest, you don't tell yourself,

I have to do this, this, and this.

You recognize maybe this type of food

or this thing that I'm using to numb myself or to have fun.

Maybe it doesn't feel as fun or maybe I don't need it all the time.

These choices and awareness, there's some people

in places and environments that are going to support that.

And there's others that are going to not enjoy that.

And you get to make the decision

whether you want to continue to do that or not.

Recently, I did a little experiment with social media.

And I noticed, just through awareness,

that if I was stressed, if I was bored,

if I was uncomfortable, I would pick up the phone.

And I really wasn't looking for anything.

It's the old doom scrolling, you know?

And that, I said, well, as a Saturday,

and I gave my wife my phone, I said,

had this for me, and I'm not going to look at it today.

And I noticed myself that here's awareness again.

My compulsion was to try to fix it, you know,

try to get that a little hit of dopamine

or to ignore what I'm feeling.

It was really interesting to watch that.

By the end of the day, I was just watching football

and hanging out with the house.

And I was like, man, it felt really good.

Let me do that tomorrow, it's Sunday.

I did that on Sunday, had a great Sunday.

Monday morning, I turned that thing on,

I go right into social media to see what I missed.

And whatever it was that I saw, it triggered me right away,

blew me right out of my body.

For the rest of the day, I was upset.

And it was just really eye opening to see that.

And so now we have information, we have choice,

we have, we've recognized the feeling in our body.

And so now we know what our body wants.

Okay, maybe I don't want to interact on here at all.

It's not to say, hey, I want to live in a van down by the river

and then cut myself off.

It's like, maybe I can get myself a break.

Maybe I can put this thing down.

Maybe I don't need notifications going off

on my phone all the time, stressing me out.

Or maybe if I don't answer these messages right away,

the world's not going to end.

And if that's this work, you just seeing things,

one little thing at a time and you're learning,

you're learning what, what do I, what feels good for me?

And over time, when all that, when we're being ourselves,

doing what we want, interacting with people in places

that feel good, our body just naturally heals.

It wants to heal.

And it's that it is a very intelligent healing machine.

We just have to learn and trust it.

We have to give it the space and the wherewithal

to be able to do what it needs to do.

It can, like you said, our body's incredible.

It can heal itself.

It has amazing capability.

However, we don't always allow our body to do that.

We, some of us keep ourselves in fight, fight or freeze.

That is a deterrent to healing, to self healing.

And, you know, it is, we are very capable.

We just need to have more awareness that we have the ability

to do what we need to do and we need to make that choice.

And I got a hop in right here and say, and that's so normal

because it's all we know.

That is how we were related to the thing that really blew my head off

when I started learning this work is we treat ourselves

like we were treated.

And it's not to get on here and shame parents.

It's to go, that's how they were treated.

That's how we've treated generations of humans

and that's some generation of trauma.

This is what we've always done.

And our nervous system is so freaking smart

because it will continue to repeat those patterns

and take you to a piece of people and places and environments

to get you to re-experience that.

Why do I always have partners that don't see me?

Why do I get in these relationships

where I feel like I'm not good enough?

That's your body trying to heal you.

All healing is, is creating a new experience

and then letting whatever emotion, energy

that wants to come through in response to that to leave.

We don't forget, lose the charge.

So instead of eventually, I don't feel comfortable.

I mean, I don't feel uncomfortable in public

around people in these places anymore

because that has resolved that stuff.

And the more awareness you have, the more you,

like I said, you make informed decisions

even when it comes to the people around us.

And that was something that I really was eye-opening

when I learned that I had a choice of who surrounded me.

Because they say the five closest people

that you have around you are going to influence you

for the good or not good.

You can choose.

Family is a little more tricky,

but you can move them into an outer level.

They can still have interactions,

but you limit the interactions you have with them.

Because some family members, I had to put my mom

before she passed away.

She was on an outer limit because her negativity

was too much for me.

And she couldn't see past her own self.

You make that choice.

You still interact.

You don't completely cut them off,

but you just say, you know, I'm going to limit

how much I have that I'm interacting with you.

And so that I can make, I can have peace.

Because if we put ourselves into situations,

surround ourselves with people that don't serve us,

that are going to pull us down or keep us stuck,

we'll keep going around that circle,

around that mountain until we just kind of wake up

and go, no, no, no, no, I don't want to be anymore.

Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that.

I have a similar experience with my family.

And that's really tough.

And there's part of me that wants to connect

and there's part of me that knows it's not good right now.

And there's hope for the future that,

and I would also say knowing that I don't have to change them.

I'm not responsible for healing them.

And I think the more that we heal and accept ourselves,

the more easier it is to be in that limited contact

and to be around those environments

and it may not be, and that's okay too.

And surprisingly enough, the people that's even our families,

they're always watching.

They're always looking.

And if you're growing and healing, they may be going,

hmm, what's he doing?

He's different.

What do you do?

You know, they may not come out and necessarily say it.

But they're observing.

It's kind of like children.

Children, especially toddlers.

And the reason I say that is, you know,

like my daughter-in-law today was like saying how my,

my grandson, my oldest grandson is always doing everything

that my son does.

He is like a little mimic.

And I'm like, yeah, he sees, what he sees, he does, you know,

what he hears, he repeats.

And so he's got to really be careful about the people

that you are mimicking or what you're doing

because the people around you are going to either see it

and support it or they're going to see it and go,

well, you just said this, but you did that, you know,

they may not come out and say it.

But they're always observing.

And they'll throw things back at you.

I mean, not in a bad way.

I'll say something like to my husband,

I'll say do something or be stressing about something.

And he'll come back and use my own words against,

and not against me, but to reinforce what.

And I'm like, where'd you learn that from?

He goes from you.

And I'm like, OK.

They can be great mirrors too.

They are.

And kids are great mirrors.

Everybody's around you.

But again, your family, it's a tricky thing.

It doesn't mean you have to cut them off.

You may have to.

If it's really toxic, you may have to.

And it's not for your betterment,

as well as for your safety, because the people around you

are going to be the influence.

And if you don't want to go down rabbit holes,

like you're used to going down, then you

may have to define a very big boundary and say, I love you.

I can't be around you right now.

And if they're fighting you, you've got to love yourself

enough that you do what's right for you.

Nobody else is going to.

You're responsible for you.

Yeah, that's what my hat says.

Because nobody is coming to save you.

Ah!

Perfect.

That's true.

We can only.

I'm harsh.

And people do help us.

But when we quit holding our stuff hostage,

waiting for someone else to change or trying to control

or waiting for an outcome, you know, for me,

waiting until my symptoms change until I live life.

I had to learn, no, I'm going to go live life with the symptoms.

And let life hold me in trust that it's going to meet me.

And that's when symptoms started.

That's a big turning point, too.

Well, I have truly enjoyed our conversation.

I hope you will come again and share your wisdom and expertise

with the listeners.

But before we conclude our conversation, Mitch,

are there any last minute words of expertise

that you want to impart with each of the listeners?

Yeah, I mean, I'd say if you listen to this

and you're recognizing, man, I think this is me.

Start now.

So we don't have to jump in to therapy or one-on-one

or pick up a book.

The body keeps the score.

We talked about that a couple times.

That's a really good book to learn about.

You know, learn about our physiology.

Learn, watch some videos.

Can't recommend my mentor Irene Lane enough.

I've got videos.

There's so many good people out there

sharing this information.

Books you can read.

Your body will know.

You don't have to figure it out.

Let your body be the nervous system

and your body be the map.

Trust that.

And if all that feels like it's you, get some help.

You know, that's all we do is coaches.

I'm not healing anybody.

That takes a lot of pressure off me.

It's, we teach you how to heal yourself.

And I've bumped around for 20 years to get what I want.

And you know, it's me showing up for me

and learning this work and doing a little bit of time.

And if I can make that shorter for someone else

or help someone do their work in a shorter time,

it doesn't have to be hard.

Typically, we say one to two years

is what it's going to take.

Everybody's different.

But it doesn't mean it's three years until

you get to experience good things.

So things happen quickly.

Other things take time.

And the more we can love ourselves and have compassion

and just allow whatever's here, really the quicker that train moves.

But I really appreciate you having me on.

It's been great having a conversation with you.

Well, I'm truly, I truly honor you.

And honor what you've gone through, you know?

And what you are doing.

Because it takes people like you

who have gone through it, walked in shoes

that many people would go, oh, heck no.

I don't want to be in those shoes.

We all have walked in shoes that are very uncomfortable.

You know, some of us walk in more shoes

than we can ever walk in.

However, it is only through walking through certain shoes

that you really begin to realize how important

it is to heal.

It is to heal.

It is a inside job begins the internal.

All your symptoms don't, like you said,

your symptoms don't have to change immediately.

The more you do the work, the more you put into making a choice

to keep going, even though your symptoms

aren't improving fast enough.

You know, we are a society that we want instant results.

But I can tell you, it will change.

But it's not going to be overnight.

And can we be with ourselves through that journey

instead of putting pressure on ourselves to change

because that's just going to slow it down?

Such sage words of wisdom.

Ladies and gentlemen, again, I have Mitch Webb here with me

and he has been sharing his expertise,

his wisdom and knowledge that he is, you know,

come to the conclusions, the awareness

that he came to walking through his own pain

and his own journey.

I always say, if you need support

and you want to get the best guidance,

then reach out to people that have done it

and Mitch is one that has done it

and is still continuing to do it.

We are not by any means experts in the sense

that we don't have pain.

None of us are immune from that.

Life still happens to us.

But we have our invisible tool belt that shows us

when life happens, we reach in and we do what we need to do

to help mitigate the pain that's showing up

or mitigate whatever it is that we need to see.

So, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much

for listening, being loyal listeners.

Thank you, I can't thank you enough

and I'm grateful for each and every one of you.

I always say, if this resonates with you, share it, you know,

download it, save it.

And if someone's popping into your mind,

there's a reason they're popping into your mind.

They need to hear this episode and know this,

no matter where you are, no matter what you're experiencing,

you are not alone.

None of you are alone.

Many of us have gone through similar pain, similar shoes.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for my wonderful guests.

And I will continue to bring you amazing guests

and amazing contact.

And I look forward to much being my guest here

again in the future.

Take care and we'll talk soon.

Thanks for listening to Awakened Hope with Candy Campbell.

If you find yourself struggling, just know there is help.

Please take the first step in contact candy.

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