Bert Kreischer Baseball Backlash, Bill Maher’s Mark Twain Prize, and Hannah Gadsby’s Sock Puppet

They say if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together.

At Amika Insurance, we know what matters most to you.

And we work even harder to protect it, together.

As a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs.

Amika, empathy is our best policy.

Visit amika.com and get a quote today.

So you're running out of closet space.

The good news?

You don't need to stop shopping.

You just need to start selling with the real real.

The real real is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury

resale, whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone.

Or those boots you never fully broke in.

The real real handles everything from photography and copyrighting to shipping and pricing.

So you can just sit back, get paid and make room for things that actually feel like you.

And with 10,000 plus new arrivals every single day from cop designers like Prada, Saline,

Louis Vuitton and Louis Vé, all for up to 90% off retail.

You're bound to find something perfectly on-brand to fill that extra closet space with.

Plus, right now, you can get an extra $100 to shop when you sell for the first time.

Make room for what feels like you.

Go to therealreal.com to start selling and get your extra $100 to keep shopping at the

realreal.com.

That's the realreal.com.

Let's go to the realrealreal.com to start selling and get your extra $100 to keep shopping at the realreal.

Daily briefing on stand-up comedy comedians in the comedy industry has sent us the algorithm loves.

Couple good jokes from late night during the week.

Seth Meyers said the army increased its maximum enlistment age from 35 to 42.

One drill instructor said,

drop and give me four sets of five.

Great joke.

Josh Johnson said,

that doesn't sound like the war is over.

This is very confusing.

Should I or shouldn't I go to Times Square and my sailor outfit to kiss random women?

Early in the week,

the president of the United States deployed ice agents to help with those pesky long TSA lines at the airports.

What a nightmare.

Kimmel said somehow Trump found a way to make the airport even worse than it was.

He then asked,

when do you think the last time he was even on a commercial flight or in an airport 1989?

Good point.

He tagged that with snakes have been on a plane more recently than Donald Trump.

Love it.

Kimmel said one DH official told CBS.

I have no idea what we're doing and neither does he.

So welcome to the club.

John Stewart said,

Oh, we're sending ice agents to calm the situation.

It makes perfect sense.

It's kind of like the way we calm our dogs during thunderstorms with a blanket of fireworks.

John again, ice isn't trained on X-rays.

No surprise.

They don't really seem to be trained on anything.

Actually, did you watch Yankee's opening day on Netflix there?

People did.

People did not enjoy bird crazier at all.

No surprise.

I had predicted that.

We told you last week on Comedy Stock Market to sell your bird on the Dan Levitard show.

Dan said bird crazier can annoy people.

Bird crazier on your baseball broadcast is not something I would do.

If Dennis Miller and Tony Cornheiser don't work on Monday night football,

a comedian around baseball is just simply not going to work on the broadcast,

given what the customer base is.

Off the announcing road.

Bird crazier was in a kayak in McCovie,

cove because he's contractually obligated to appear on every live Netflix sporting event.

And incredibly, he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Bro bio compiled some social media reactions.

One person wrote his bird crazier,

the least funny, successful comic of all time.

I would have to think about that.

I'm going to say no, you know who I'm going to say, right?

In case you don't, Adam Sandler, the great traumatic actor, not funny at all.

Another person wrote, how much longer do we have to pretend bird crazier is funny?

A third, I'm always for fun, man.

But honestly, I hate all this pregame intro tile stuff MLB started doing recently.

I don't want bird crazier yelling in my ear.

Bro, please get on with the game.

Another person wrote,

imagine being $50 million for MLB and then spending an entire half inning

showing bird crazier in a kayak.

One more, nothing says MLB opening night, like bird crazier screaming at you.

My mats are 1 and 0.

That was just a random thing I said in the middle of the comedy podcast.

So it turns out Bill Moore is getting the Mark Twain prize after all.

Remember I told you the other day I couldn't figure out what was real or not.

Remember somebody said he was and then the White House said he wasn't.

Well, this is going to shock you.

The White House may have tried to mislead you.

I know, I know you're like John, the White House doesn't do that.

Well, apparently this one time they did.

Bill Maher said in a statement, thank you to the Mark Twain people.

I just had the award explain to me and apparently it's like an Emmy except I win.

And that is the kind of humor that makes Bill Maher deserve the Mark Twain prize.

Last year you may remember it was Conan O'Brien and it was a bit of a love fest.

So we'll see if Netflix, you know, tapes this thing and all the comedians come out

and say how awesome Bill Maher is and we get a special out of it.

We'll see.

Now what I love is all the press coverage I've seen about this is talking about

how it's going to take place at the John F Kennedy Center for the performing arts.

No other alternate name was mentioned.

Everybody's just calling it the Kennedy Center.

Good job, everybody.

Now, earlier in the week, the White House had said this is fake news.

Bill Maher will not be getting this award.

Now, I don't know why Carolyn Levitt, the White House press secretary would have said that.

Did she believe that Bill Maher would not be getting the award?

Or was she trying to mislead us from the truth?

And if the White House press secretary is misleading us from the truth about Bill Maher,

what else might she be misleading us about?

I'll leave that to someone else.

How many people have just unfollowed the podcast for the rest of you?

How you doing?

Well, the New York Times asked the administration about this and an administration official said,

this was false reporting at the time of the Atlantic's reporting,

but the situation changed after further conversations took place between the Kennedy Center

and event organizers over the past week.

So here's what I think happened.

Somebody out of nowhere made up a crazy unsubstantiated rumor that said,

hey, we should give the Mark Twain prize to Bill Maher.

Now, the White House was like, no, we're not doing that.

That's not true. That's fake news.

Then after they read the fake news, they were like, you know,

but if the fake news wasn't fake, what if we gave it to Bill Maher?

See, that's where the idea came from.

It came from the fake news and then they were like, no, that's actually a good idea.

Jeffrey Goldberg from the Atlantic responded to all this and said the Atlantic reported first and accurately.

The Bill Maher was going to receive the Mark Twain prize.

The White House's obfuscation strategy here is not effective.

Previous winners of the Mark Twain award include Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Richard

Pryor, George Corlan, John Stewart, who'll be Goldberg, Bob Newhart.

At one point, Bill Cosby, don't ask questions.

Just ignore that one.

And now Bill Maher, famous comedian, who's still here?

Are you still here?

I'm a little fed up with the nonsense.

Okay, she can't tell, I'm a little fed up.

Mark Norman, he's avoided getting canceled twice already this week.

He got up with the L.A. Times.

They liked the special.

He said, appreciate you for watching.

Nobody wants to watch anything now.

I'm really excited.

The specials of joke on, I don't know every 15 to 20 seconds.

If you hated joke, just remember there's one right after it.

And it's all jokes and a lot of it isn't even real.

So if you get too upset, just realize half the stuff is just made up for the sake of humor.

Just try to enjoy it and don't yell at me.

That reminds me, at some point this week, I had this lofty plan

that I was going to pull a bunch of clips to show how personally I found the one-liner

after one-liner after one-liner, it should just be fatiguing.

And we had a very friendly discussion in the Facebook group, Daily Comedy News podcast

group about this.

And I was going to pull some clips and I just didn't get to it while we're on that subject.

I had a run out, a very unexpected errand on Wednesday afternoon, and that meant my

production week got all thrown off.

I haven't had a chance to watch Scrubs yet, so that's why I haven't reviewed yet.

So at some point, I'll illustrate what I mean by normand.

The LA Times was curious, did they deliberately put the special out on St. Patrick's Day?

Because St. Patrick's Day is a huge thing in New Orleans, and Mark said, oh my God, I wish

we had put that much into it, but no, we're idiots.

That was just the day they gave me, and I'm too scared to push back, because everybody

wants to be on Netflix.

Actually, they recorded my last special on St. Patty's Day in Chicago, and that was a huge

mistake.

It's like this weird curse now, Mark went on to say, but New Orleans throws down for

Cinco to Mile, Mother's Day, Ramadan.

I mean, we'll get drunk for any reason.

Speaking of getting drunk, Nate Brigazzi said he learned an important lesson from Rob

Low, when Rob Low was on the Howard Stern show years ago.

As Nate tells it, Rob told Howard, you think alcoholism is like you're waking up, drinking

shots of vodka.

I liked when Rob Low said it wasn't just this extreme thing where you're like, I'm drinking

24 hours a day.

Nate said, I never drink at home when I was home.

I'd never crack a beer open, and have a beer or something, never in a million.

But it's like when I was out with friends, I didn't know how to stop.

You just get going, and then it was like it had its own momentum.

I heard Rob Low say it was like this addiction thing to it.

You think it's just driving off a cliff in a car, but it's like there's so many levels

of it.

And you think there's a person worse than you.

And so that's what makes you think, you know, and if something, you don't have a problem.

I knew if I wanted to get where I wanted to get alcohol was in the way.

He says, these days food is the one I have now, and that's the one I'm working on.

That's been the hardest for me to get going.

Like the eating I like fast food, I like all the stuff, and you get stressed, and then

you end up going to it.

It's tough.

From the Louisville Courier, they report that Kevin James was spotted at the Krueger.

It is unclear why Kevin James was at the Krueger in Shepherd'sville corporate affairs manager

Jessica Sharp tells the Louisville Courier that Kevin James stopped by the Krueger on

the 100 block of Adam Shepherd Parkway.

You know the one.

And he was with another comedian.

Now the Louisville Courier did not share who the other comedian was with Kevin James

at the Krueger.

Who do you think it was?

I don't know either.

We are told Kevin James purchased rotisserie chickens and took photos with fans.

A guy named Ricky happened to be there.

Ricky said Kevin James is a very nice dude.

At Amika Insurance, we know it's not just about where you're going, but who you go with.

That's why we work even harder to protect what matters most.

It is a mutual insurance company.

We're built for our customers and prioritize your needs.

Amika Empathy is our best policy.

Visit amika.com and get a quote today.

Hello it is Ryan and we could all use an extra bright spot in our day couldn't we?

Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps,

you know, all the mundane stuff.

That is why I'm such a big fan of Chamba Casino.

Chamba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free

anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses.

So sign up now at chamba casino.com.

That's chamba casino.com I mentioned earlier, I didn't get to watch scrubs yet, so no

scrubs recap yet.

Sorry to do the best I can, but I got to watch scrubs to review it.

And I will try and get that in ASAP, however, Paley Fest LA has announced that on Saturday,

April 11th, the scrubs cast will be there attending our Judy Reis Carla, John C. McGinley,

Dr. Cox, Neil Flynn as the janitor, interesting as he doesn't appear in season one or season

10 or whatever we're calling the reboot and Christa Miller who plays Jordan, they will

be there at Paley Fest LA moderated by Vanessa bear, interesting.

Oh, I wanted to tell you, my car was almost stolen this morning.

Now it wasn't, uh, it wasn't that scary.

So as you know, I go to the national donuts chain every morning and I get a large ice

coffee with caramel and milk.

Here's the remnants right here.

And as I'm going in, there's this nice older gentleman and we pass on the door and he

offers to hold the door for me.

And I'm like, no, I gotta come on out and he comes out and we, you know, say, good

morning and all that and I go in and get my coffee and I come out and I walk back to

my car, which I hadn't locked.

That's on me.

And he's sitting in my car and I'm like, huh, this is a nice older man.

And I start waving at him and he waves back.

And then I'm like, am I crazy?

And I check the license plate.

I'm like, nope, this is my car.

So I had a knock on the window and be like, um, sir, this is my car.

He, he apologized and then realized his similar car, which was a similar color,

but not the same make at all was elsewhere in the parking lot.

So he got out and I got in the car, which was not stolen, but I was thinking, you

know, if you tried to start it with the push button when my key fob was, you know,

halfway between the national dough to chain of the car, he could have stolen my car.

And he gets me caught up with the guardian in Hannah's free standup special.

Woof Hannah is a sock puppet.

The guardian was curious why Hannah said, I got sick of being seen.

Well, okay, there's a lot of different reasons.

I'm a little bit of seeing myself reflected and there's a lot of standup now.

And it all looks the same.

People don't watch standup comedy anymore.

It's usually the second or third screen.

I understand second screen, third screen.

All right.

So you have Hannah's on the TV.

You got your phone out.

You're scrolling.

What would the third screen be doing?

I know I'm old, but am I that old?

Are you guys doing third screens now?

And it says it's going on in the background.

So that's why I did an album.

If you're not going to watch it, why bother filming the whole thing?

Kind of my opinion on video podcasting here.

I'll tell you what I'm wearing right now.

A baseball hat, a fleece and grace sweatpants.

And I haven't shaved yet.

You don't want to see this.

Why would you want to look at that?

It's a guy in a basement reading comedy headlines about Hannah Gatsby's sock puppet.

Nobody needs to see this.

Hannah says in the sock puppet.

I wanted something homemade because we're entering the era of AI slap.

But I feel queasy when I watch that.

What the internet has taught me is we'll watch anything.

And it doesn't have to be high quality.

Oh, wait, maybe maybe a 56 year old guy who hasn't shaved wearing a baseball hat

and a fleece and grace sweatpants.

Maybe you guys would be like, hey, I'd watch that.

I don't know.

Hannah said, so I thought, how about if I make something that anyone could make?

Sort of like play school.

I got into the useful box.

So to speak and cobbled together a fairly average sock puppet.

That's my hand.

That's my sock.

The conversation turned to the subject of spoilers.

Hannah said, when people get angry at spoiler, it's, I don't understand them.

I think I get more out of the story the second time anyway.

The first time I'm just tense when everything's going nicely.

You know, there's a group of writers going, how can we ruin this?

Because we have to watch people's worlds crumbling all the time.

One of my favorite films is Get Out.

Have you seen Get Out?

I haven't.

But I think it's a great film.

I've read all about it.

I've read other people's think pieces about it.

I've seen a few clips and I'm like, this is an amazing film.

I've no desire to watch it.

Can't do it.

Uh oh, I hadn't read a head here.

Hannah is going to get canceled here.

Apparently Hannah says in woof that Hannah does not understand Taylor Swift.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you crazy?

Do you know what happened to Joe Koy that one time he also the Golden Gloves.

He told a horrible mean joke and apparently has an $11 million house and can sell

out so five stadium Taylor Swift wrecked his career.

You don't want to mess with Taylor Swift.

Next thing you know, you're at the Riyadh comedy festival.

I'm punchy today.

I'm having fun.

Hannah said, yeah, I'm unable to get swept away.

I look at Phantom in general and it seems I'm unable to really participate in.

I don't think I'm able to form parasocial relationships.

If I haven't met someone, I feel to form an attachment.

Although sometimes they look at a rock and I feel sad.

But sometimes they just look sad, which brings us to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival,

which we do in the second half of these podcasts this time of year.

Hannah's show was called the evening mues where Hannah acts as a late night host.

Hannah was asked who they found was the best late night host.

The answer, Star Trek, Rooter, Stephen Colbert.

Hannah says, although I did Conan's podcast and he's also extraordinary and all that has

never ruined Star Trek.

The premise of my tonight show is that I'm profoundly ill equipped to host a tonight show.

I've got a suit and an ego, but I can't talk unless at the same time very well,

which is a really key skill set for interviewing.

I'm going to have guests on from the festival and ask them questions from the 1981 genius

edition of Trivial Pursuit and ads.

Archaic trivia really suits me.

Now we've access to the internet and we feel like we have all the information in the world.

And I grew up at a time where we didn't have any information.

My brain was trained on a scarcity of information.

You could choose any country to write a project out in high school.

And I chose East and West Germany in 1994.

That's how up to date our library was when the internet first came in.

I loved it, but now I feel like I'm being water bordered by information.

So I've regressed and I'm going to wrap there because I got to record Sunday,

Monday and comedy survivor.

This was fun.

See you tomorrow.

The monarchy faces its greatest crisis.

An explosive memoir threatens to destroy everything King William has built.

Anti-monarchy forces are growing bolder.

And desperate times call for revolutionary measures.

The Queen launches a celebrity podcast.

The King breaks security protocol.

The royal family either evolves or becomes irrelevant.

The first episodes of King William season two are available now.

Catch up on season one, add free on Apple podcasts.

Find King William and hit that button that says uninterrupted listening.

The crown either evolves or falls.

Palace intrigue presents King William from Calaroga Shark Media.

Available now wherever you get your podcasts.

An aging King on the throne.

The crown princess pulled back into global headlines over her past links to Jeffrey Epstein.

And in an Oslo courtroom, a son facing 38 criminal charges he denies in a trial

that is gripping the country and testing the monarchy itself.

Every witness, every revelation, every consequence.

This isn't game of thrones.

It's real life.

Crown and controversy Norway, wherever you get your podcasts.

What happens when political fiction starts to become reality?

James Bennett, former action star, turned popular California governor who returned to acting.

Stars in a hit streaming drama about seizing political power.

When his former chief of staff suggests turning fiction into reality,

the line between entertainment and conspiracy disappears.

As a viral marketing campaign creates mass confusion, Bennett faces an impossible choice.

When unexpected events in Washington coincide with the show's pivotal episode,

is it a brilliant promotion or something more sinister?

Acting president, eight episodes of political intrigue where entertainment becomes a dangerous game.

Acting president, wherever you get your podcasts.