Billy's Jokes - March 9-12

This is Triple M's rush hour, the Pen Ride Oil, 100 years, still driven.

Grab a needle and thread and sew your sides back together.

Funny?

Terrific.

It's every Billy's Job from this week.

Jim, a lot of protests have been happening in our great city.

And tomorrow there's another protest.

Oh, not another one.

About fairy bread.

It's been organised.

Police are expecting hundreds and thousands to bleed here.

Red, that was too early.

I like that.

When you know it's going to be shit, just hit the button.

Don't need delay.

Just wait until I'm on the top.

I didn't even finish the bloody thing.

What's after?

That's insightful.

Police are expecting hundreds and thousands there.

Yeah.

There you go.

Yeah.

Good button pressing from you.

Wearing.

Just trying to do this.

That's all you can do.

What?

A husband sends a text to his wife.

Honey, I just got hit by a car outside the office.

Tina has brought me to the hospital and they're doing tests on me.

And X-rays.

The blow to my head is very, very strong.

I've got a big lump.

Maybe serious.

Also a three broken rib.

Just hurts to talk to you, darling.

A broken arm.

A compound fracture on my left leg.

And they may have to amputate my right foot.

Right.

The wife said, who the hell is Tina?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

No.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh.

Pravots.

That's not that.

What?

That's a rambling story.

That was good.

The acting was simple.

Yeah.

There was some decent acting.

I will give you that.

Are you saying?

Not a great joke.

But I like the voice you use for the broken ribs.

Yeah.

You put some craft in there.

Are you saying that I'm going to rock with a jelly?

No.

I'm not saying you're going to rock.

Ah, okay.

Good.

Ah, no.

I just had a golf ball, Jim

removed from my ass.

The doctor said it had gone up a fair way.

You can't.

Robert, you can't go with that.

Yes.

We got to get something better than that to put away.

So you can't have that.

It's the F1 car.

It's the F1 car model.

It's in a profile.

Ah, it's not hot.

Robert.

No, that's impossible.

That's good.

That's a good game.

Fist and sing myself from that joke.

It's the first F1 car that Bill's hit the wall too.

It went up a fair way.

Anything to do with that?

Actually, thinking on the show, laugh out loud.

I'm badly seen there, too.

But I'm taking a toss, I think.

It's all that fat.

Oh.

It's getting in.

Here we go.

A newlywed Jim calls a mum and says,

on my wedding night,

I'd discovered that John only has one foot.

A mother replies,

Oh no.

You can't yourself lucky.

Oh my god.

Your father only has four inches.

Oh my god.

Literally, that was coming down the railway tracks.

Will you marry to this mother?

Seriously.

In fact, I can actually see Molly.

Who haven't seen yours for 25 years?

In the mirror.

Peace.

Oh my god.

Two obvious, that one.

No, I know.

But I think that's four from four.

No.

That's only because Remitz is generous.

We finally done three shows.

Oh wait, three from three.

Three from three.

No, no.

No more.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, they want to sponsor the joke.

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The Penrod Oil.

Australia-owned and made since 1926.

For 100 years, they've driven innovation and lubricants

for cars, bikes, trucks and industry.

Penrod oil.

100 years, still driven.

Ribbit!