Bonus #173 - Live Call Show Vol. 39 [PATREON PREVIEW]

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I am trying to kind of figure out the best way to convince this guy I'm fucking

my slam piece if you will. Sure. To go to therapy. Oh wow. Interesting. Yeah, I'm

yeah, so we're friends. I have no intention of taking us anywhere beyond friends like

there are friends and that's enough and that's good and wake up. Sure. So I don't want to be too.

I don't want to overstep my slam piece bounds number two. I'm very confrontational and direct

and I think I brought it up once in the past and it kind of put them on the defensive.

I get that. So what do you think he needs to do? Why do you think he needs therapy?

Let's start there. There. So he's a good guy. He's going through a divorce right now with a woman

that he was married to for 10 years. Oh, so you're a really good friend.

You're a really good friend is what it sounds like. Somebody's getting divorced. You throw

them a little pussy, help them get through the whole thing, you know, worrying about his well-being.

You do see if only there were more friends like you. Listen, here's the thing. I love my friends.

Real, real good. You know, I got good friends and I want to take care of them. Yeah, yeah, sometimes

with my pussy and that's beautiful. I think it's beautiful. Absolutely. That's what communities

all about. Stop are you saying you want me to suck you off? No, you're fucking busted. You're

fucking ugly, dude. I'm sexy, bro. Oh, no. I don't know why y'all are pretending you aren't

fucking already. No, unfortunately, this is even somehow even more homoerotic. It's so gay,

it's transcended physical love. That's honestly the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I love that.

We've been behaving like an old married couple since we were like 22 years old. Yeah.

Okay, so he's going through a divorce. So this guy's up against a lot here's what you're saying.

Yeah, so he was like, okay, so just like a quick, you know, run through. He's going through

divorce. He's only ever dated really toxic people or women and he is a veteran and he

was abused as a kid and his mom abandoned him. Like, there's just, you know, there's a laundry list.

And he went to therapy once when he was younger to work through the abuse stuff. And he said, like,

it was fine, but not as you didn't think it was that helpful for him. But he did take that approach

that like, okay, go to therapy when you have something to like figure out and like, you don't have

to be doing it all the time, which I think is good. But I don't think he's, he doesn't see the stuff

that he's going through now as like quote unquote, I guess enough to go to therapy. And I'm like,

hey, baby girl, mommy was bringing your ear please go to therapy. Yeah, you're right. I mean,

listen, you're obviously right. And I think it makes sense too, because to him, the bar is like

a shot of being abused as a child or fucking going to war like this guy has to be fair

compared to like a fucked up childhood and, you know, a fucked up job in your 20s that

involves killing innocent Iraqis in some way. I don't know. I don't know how involved he was

directly, but being a part of the American war machine that destabilized the whole world.

He's been through a couple of things that are much shittier than a divorce. I'll give him that

that. That it's like, he set the bar really high for what deserves to be in therapy for him.

But for anybody else, you're absolutely right. Like, this guy's going through a lot and he,

I think you're, I think basically I'm agree with you. Your instincts are correct that he probably

would get a lot out of therapy. Yeah, I think it would be good for him. He also like, you know,

he tends to, if he's upset, he goes to rage and there are all these like little signs or things

that I think could kind of be helped if he had someone to talk to. He also does, he does a lot,

this is a little bit selfish. He does do a lot of rambling on about stuff that his wife did.

And I'm like, baby girl, I'm like, I'm writing you right now. You should go to someone to pay,

somebody should be paid to listen to this. I'm giving you a service here right now.

So, I mean, okay, so this is one of your friends. Is it like, is he part of a larger group of

friends? Is there like, you know, is there like power and numbers here and talking him? Not,

obviously not full intervention, but is there like multiple people who can kind of soften the

blower? Are you sort of like his, his lifeline here? You said you've been friends for a while, right?

Yeah, it's actually, we actually haven't been friends for that long, but there is a bigger group of

friends that I've been friends with for much longer. Gotcha. And I think that's actually,

I didn't even think about kind of involving them in that, but yes, there's definitely more people

around and people he's known for longer and now he's better, that could also help. Yeah, I mean,

listen, you've tried the straight, you did the atomable thing and what people who call into the

show never do, which is directly communicate. And you tried that and this is obviously a harder,

and I think you're probably have to do that again, but I think you can take this now to the group

and be like, Hey, people who know him better, like, here's how I feel. I'm worried about him. I

think you should go into therapy. Like, what do you guys think? I mean, I think there's nothing wrong.

Definitely wouldn't consider that talking behind a friend's back. You guys are all kind of

strategizing how to help him. So I think that's a fair place to go and see how people feel about this.

In terms of if it's like something you have to do by yourself, I mean, look, yeah, he does

a lot of rambling, but I do think the next time he's rambling about something, you could be like,

Hey, I don't know how much help I could be. I think this is exactly this kind of exactly where

talking to somebody about your stuff and even maybe framing it, if he has to have it be temporary,

you could even be like, Hey, I know you think this isn't a big deal, but

this like a divorce on top of all the stuff you've already been dealing with is totally and this

will bring up stuff from your past, like anything this emotional can bring up past trauma.

You could just be like, I think you'd get a lot out of just for the time being talking to

somebody and, you know, maybe making him say, he'll do it for at least a couple months and not

just give up on it. I don't know, but I think you can bring it up again. What are you worried?

What are you worried? Will happen if you just kind of bring it up? You said he just kind of

shut himself off the first time. It's not so much that I'm worried about bringing it up,

because again, I'm pretty confrontational. It's more like, yeah, it's just it makes life easier

to be honest, but it's more like when I bring it up, it's like he doesn't really like hear me,

because I brought it up like a couple of times, sort of casually and then once like kind of

seriously, and so I'm more afraid that when I bring it up, it's like not really doing anything,

it's not really getting through, or I'm also afraid, because I really do mean it when I say like

we're friends and that's cool, but like I don't want to date him and I also don't want him to think

this is me caring too much, I guess. I don't know. I'm usually very loving with my friends,

and so when I do sleep with my friends, which I do more often than I should as a queer, you know.

There are some lines that I just want to make sure don't get super blurred.

I know what you mean. I agree with you on the last point. I got to get a little red pill here.

You cannot be the messenger for this. I think like, yeah, exactly because you guys are

fucking like, he's going through a divorce, he's fucking you, and I'm not saying like, you know,

you guys can fucking still just be friends or whatever, but once you start getting into,

do you really think he wants, I mean, he's freshly divorced, you think he really thinks,

you think he wants to get in a relationship right now? I don't think he wants to get in a

relationship, but you could think she does. No, I don't think you do either necessarily.

I just think like, no, she doesn't, but you think he might think she does. Is that what you're

saying? Possibly not even, not even he might think you do. I just think like, if it was me,

I would not want to hear that from someone I'm like, fucking just trying to get my mind off like,

my divorce and shit, and you know, he's like in a weird time. I guess. I mean, I know what you're

saying, but it's also like, you know, whatever, especially if, as you just said a few moments ago,

tell me if I'm wrong, but like, you know, there's other people in the friend group who are like

closer to him than you are. Yeah, but those pussy's don't want to have the conversation.

You ever tried to get two straight men, so I'll actually look in the mirror. You've

ever tried to get two straight men to have a serious conversation. No, it's so hard. No, never.

And that's why it's awesome. Yeah, and I wish I could spend less time thinking about motions

personally. I feel like if I was him, and I started hearing this from you, especially like,

if it was after we fucked or something, I'd be like, Oh, God, I do not want to hear about the

shit talking about it or think about it. So I kind of see what you're saying, because it's like

when I was at my absolute fattest, and it's like, as I'm eating a pizza and getting high, people

like, you really should really start excess. It's like, maybe, but this ain't the time. I kind of

see what you're saying. Is this this guy get a certain window of post divorce crashing out? He gets

to do before he has to go to therapy? Maybe. And maybe you're right, eldest in terms of, you know,

Luigi has big titties, not being the best messenger for it. So I don't know. I mean, you could,

here's the thing. If you you kind of have two, there's two paths here, right? Which is like,

just kind of go about it as you'd like, right? Keep, keep kind of hooking up and whatever and

kind of let it go. Or if you're afraid, the lines will get blurred and you really don't want to like,

you know, date this person or even, you know, have any kind of truly romantic relationship going

forward. Maybe you, you could be like, Hey, I don't want you to think I'm trying to like better you

for, you know, I'm not trying to be in a relationship, but I do care about you and I do think you

should like get this stuff, you know, taken care of. Maybe it's not the best if we continue like

a physical, like you might, basically, you kind of, you're kind of in no man's land right now,

where it's like, by being a fuck buddy, you, you yourself have said it's kind of blurred the lines

of what is and isn't appropriate and what he will and won't listen to. So maybe you just go back

to being platonic friends. I don't know if that's, I don't know if taking away pussy is going to make

someone listen to you, but I don't know. I just, I think, yeah, it won't make him listen to you,

but that'll be like the actual wake up call that will register that will make him like, that's

sure that'll make him sad in a way that he's forced to like look inwards within himself in the

way that he is in right now. That's true. Push yourself. This, the sex is like an escape right now

from him. And you know, there's something about like, you know, when you can like, fuck a friend

and you just like, you're like, oh, awesome. We're just, we're just shooting the shit after no big

deal. Yeah, this is hard to pull off if everybody's in a perfect place mentally. Just fucking

your friends and it doesn't turn out weird. It's impossible for this to work now with this guy.

Actually, the more we're talking about it, the more it's like, you probably shouldn't because

really, this is appropriate. If you don't really care about this guy, you're like, uh, some guy

I'm fucking no strings attached is going through some shit, but not my problem. I'm just here for

the dick. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of the only appropriate. You are just kind of,

I think this just is not a good situation right now because he's probably into much of a,

if he won't even listen and you kind of feel like he's just kind of rambling and doesn't want to

listen and that's fair, right? He might need that right now, but it's also the worst possible time

to try a true friends with benefits situation that actually works out. And maybe that's really

the answer is that you are feeling a draw towards being more friend to this person right now.

And it's kind of up to you to decide what you want out of this and what you think how,

how you feel in relation to him and like, you know, whether, because this isn't going to last

forever. So it's like, when does it make sense to cut it off? Because, you know, if you're hanging

out, he's a cool guy. He's in you kind of, you fucking for a little pick me up. That's one thing,

but if you have some kind of like chronic thing that's really not going anywhere for either of you,

then what is the point? As much as I can't believe my advice is sort of stop, stop fucking a guy

who's down and out. I think it kind of is because you don't want, it seems like you don't want that.

It seems like you'd rather be his friend right now. Yeah, well, I mean, if the option is

date one, two, get dick, but emotionally destabilize. Right. Three be platonic friends. Easy. I'm

number three. And, you know, I just, so I actually, I was pretty stressed out and like, wanting a

lot of stress relief. I just finished defending my thesis. I have a PhD now. Congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you very much. And so now I feel like it is kind of a good, like, that sounds a

little callous, but I'm like, listen to me mean that, you know, it helped me through a little bit too.

I helped him through a little bit. Maybe it's best to kind of shut it down. Yeah, I think that's

definitely. And I mean, this is kind of not really even your question. It's just us talking it

through. That just might be what's best for you. It sounds like. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, look,

at the end of the day, sometimes with, with shit like this, whether it's, like, it's easy to set,

whether it's drug addiction or food addiction or just emotional turmoil or whatever. When people

are in a downward spiral, generally, they do kind of have to come to it on their own terms. There's

another thing is like, even if you were just purely platonic friend with no blurred lines,

he still might not listen. You know what I mean? So it's just like, that's really, you just have

to kind of make peace with that. I think decide how you want to look at the relationship going

forward. Sounds like it might be a good time to, you know, go back to platonic. But also it's like,

uh, fuck, for, yeah, it's, it's what you need. But it's also like, you know, what does this guy

really? What's the positive? Like, he's just going to figure it out on his own. Unfortunately,

it's the hard part, especially I don't know how fresh the divorce is. Like, I don't know how,

you know, you said he's going through it right now, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's, they've been like

slowly going through it. I think since last summer, but really truly only since like last December.

Yeah, I mean, it's a, it's a lot. It's a, it's a, it's a lot. And hopefully he realizes he needs

some support, some emotional psychological support. And he goes there because it's what you're

talking about makes sense. But at the end of the day, it's ultimately up to him. Unfortunately,

and all you can do is kind of be a supportive friend for him. And I, I think you've more than done

that. I think you've given him one type of support. And now it might be better to like take a backseat

and attempt a different type that's also just kind of better for you to. Yeah, I think that makes

sense. That's true. But hey, you got to search your feelings, you know, and see, see what I'm saying

makes sense. But that's kind of where it is. It's either like get strictly into the like purely

sex aspect of a no strings attached thing or like kind of go the other way. Cause I do think,

like I said, things are just too messy to be able to pull off a hard maneuver like friends with

benefits right now. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't really think about that. That makes a lot of sense.

Cause truly it is friends with benefits are already for sure. It never works. It's like,

it works like eight percent of the time. Yeah, it's like, I can, it's honestly the easiest way

to do friends with benefits or like sleep with your friends is when they like are married and like

poly or open. Cause then it's like so easy and clear. Like I said, an abomination. It never

works only in an abomination situation. Like my married and also like, I feel like queer people

have a better shot at it than like, you know, purely straight people also. So you know,

you got a couple of things tipping the scales in your direction. I get, but it's also like,

that only works because it's a sick system of polyamorous married friends that all suck and

fuck each other. Right. It's, it only works because it is an abomination under the Lord or what,

yeah. But there you go, sister, we're, you know, I think you, I think we actually did get to the

to the meat of the issue here. And it seems like you'll be okay. Listen, your friend will be okay too.

It's just he is going through something and he might not even realize what he's going through. And

who knows, maybe in a few months with a little more time, he does go into therapy. Maybe,

and maybe you can rally the troops. Maybe you can rally the troops to see, to have some kind of

many mental health intervention. I don't know. But yeah, I think really you could just,

you just need to decide the best for you and then make peace with your position in this person's

life. Okay, sweet. Yeah, I agree. I think that makes a lot of sense. Oh, but also before I go,

can I say one more thing? Sure. Unrelated. So I am fluent in Spanish, but in the way that you're

fluent in Greek, where it looks like, sure, I can't get into like a deep discussion in Spanish,

because I, you know, it's just not. But what my friend told me to start doing, which I think

has been helping. And this is gay as hell. So like really locking with them about to say, okay,

um, is reading poetry and translating it? Because what is deeper and emotional? What is deeper

and more emotional than poetry? Girl, nothing poetry. I don't think I could do. I think I would

have a hard time, even a, I just getting a poem in at all. I thought you were going to say,

watch children's carton programming, because that's what one of my friends does. He watches like

cartoons in Greek. And it actually helps him. So you know, I'll, I hear your poetry and I might

just watch SpongeBob, dubbed over in Greek actually. You know what? So true. The thing basically,

you think about it. I'll give it a shot. I'll give it a shot. I'll do one poem for you.

Yeah. Do a short little Kavaffee poem. You know that Greek poet? Huh? You know that Greek poet?

Kavaffee or something? What's his fucking name? Kavaffee. Yeah. He's like, my PhDs in chemistry,

I got no clue. Okay. All good. Oh, I don't know Kavaffee. Oh, he's got some short ones you could

take a stab at. I don't know. All right. All right. Well, listen, synthesizes some pills.

The next time we see you in good luck out there. Thank you so much. Y'all have a good night.

Good luck. We'll see you. Bye. This guy's going to go to therapy and be like, look, I started therapy

now. Could we just fuck again? Can I get some pussy, please? All right. Fine. Honestly, not a bad

turn. That's fine. I think she would be happy with it. Yeah. That is everyone wins. What a good

friend. You know, I could use a couple of friends like that. Hey, everyone, it's me, Morgan Stewart,

and I have a new podcast called The Morgan Stewart Show. Join me each week as I talk about pop

culture, fashion, my personal life, and just a warning. I'm going to be giving my opinion on

everything. I'll also have some really fun guests to join in on the fun. The Morgan Stewart Show

is out now. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts or watch full video on YouTube.

Price and participation may vary. Can I be combined with any other offer?