BREAKING NEWS - Same S**t Different Eyelashes

0:00Hello and welcome to this breaking news episode of what most people think and oh my gosh politics is back obviously they've been politics throughout the summer but it was this week on Tuesday Wednesday it was Andy Burnham's first day at Big School wasn't it and I will be talking through you know how he performed in the comments once he finished his work in progress leg of his tour how was it when he had to strap on his big boy pants and it's really interesting I think and I'll get into this later but I think there was very much I had two reactions because I'm very diligent I watched it when it went out but then I listened to it back so I thought you know is that old principle of that first presidential debate you know there's one between who's it Nixon and Kennedy who seemed like a better guy some people felt it was different on radio than on television I had a very

1:00very different reaction the second time I consumed it I am now fully at home I've got an announcement next week but I think I'll kick that up my sleeve for now I have got a post fringe flu which sounds like it's not like Californian flu my god I wish this was because of partying just it's carrying on my thing of just being a bit ill all the time I just think and every so do you ever have this in is this a thing in middle age where you have a run of illness where it just goes on long enough where you just bounce from one virus into another and then you go is this is this the same virus is it is it am I dying am I dying and you have a you have a blood test and then you just go oh this is just it now my body is just shit that's how it works got no immune system and the great thing I think at this age is you know once upon a time when you went to the doctor's they would talk about how many things better now it's very much kind of crisis management it's very much here's a bucket Jeff there's rain water coming in the ship you never there's always going to be water in the ship basically I think that's the rule that I'm learning once you get to 50 the ship is always kind of

2:04sinking speaking of ships I'm really got a metaphor here I was going to talk about the tourist day a bit of a reshuffle didn't they Kimmy as she's she's she's freshened up the pack she's gone from people you didn't know we're in the Tory cabinet the shadow cabinet to some people you just didn't know full stop so we'll also be talking about that new patrons we are running I think record high numbers for the patrons so I hope hopefully the way that I'm servicing you on a monthly basis is to your satisfaction it's regular it's consistent it's it's familiar isn't it you know after a while if you've been in relationship that's as much as you can ask for and of course if you get a podcast through Patreon you get it early ad free and with bonus content and you get your name roached it and if people just give me one name one name then I can only presume that they work in a woke institution whereby I'd be in fingered I've got sex on the brain today being fingered as a Jeff Norco listener would be bad for their career so this week I'm saying welcome

3:05to Liz just Liz just three letters Liz I don't know where you work I mean having come back from the Edinburgh fringe I think you work in the Edinburgh fringe I think you're sitting there as they congratulate themselves on yet another group of broken young performers going with broken dreams but because they got the Zambiesie Street choir in they'll think it was an absolute success piss-take prices so I said that water bills are too cheap I triggered a lot of you in fairness and I was just wrong I was just wrong about this this is from Paul he said we just had a letter from Yorkshire water to tell us they are increasing our direct debit from 104 pounds a month to 133 we have a small garden which we sometimes give a bit of water if it's looking a bit brown and there isn't another host pipe ban I mean Paul I'm first up for some prayers for the 133 could a month I just wonder you know people say we give a bit of water Paul I mean that is a big jump I don't know I don't look and what the point is Paul I thought my direct debit for angling water was 28 pounds I do not

4:09know when it was last 28 pounds because I checked and is admittedly lower than maybe a lot of people who have I've had a lot of correspondence on this 62 pounds so I'm sorry for saying that it was it should be more expensive me so I feel the guardian of piss-take prices and I'm literally saying jack it up I suppose yeah it's it's a lot of money it's a succeed it used to be a relatively trivial part of people's outgones and now it is a big part of people's outgones and we also had a standard piss-take price in from Phil who went to all and towers there's your first mistake Phil I do love a bit of all and towers but all of these places are absolute it's you know what it's like it feels like you're in a kind of wind tunnel these places when it comes to money do you remember the crystal maze at the end where they go in and they would have to pick up all those small little kind of foil colored things that looked a bit like money it's like that but it's blowing it out of your pocket all day long and Phil has mentioned the 18 pound for a cup that you can refill with

5:11Coke and Sprite all day so you've got to really be looking at five drinks minimum there for that to pay for itself you can you can bring it back on a later day but you've got to pay 12 quid to reactivate the cup they just never tire of fleece in us today they never tire yeah also the problem with that is that you go there thinking how can I manage the cost and then you go right we have one cup as a family and then moment the kids start mowing and then the wife gives you that look you type fuck get the kids the cup in the end you just everyone has cups no one uses the full value either that all you got a bunch of kids are literally like crackers just necking Coke all day long so you never win you never win as a dad you never win as a dad at a theme park all right the thank you so my son returned school this week and bless him you know with the appendicitis they had his sense of his own school holiday was truncated because right at the beginning we're

6:13supposed to go into Disneyland Florida but anyway it just seemed that everyone presumed that for some reason it is weird with presumptions isn't everybody pursuing for some reason that we were going to hear a Disney so therefore not as big a deal right okay and why don't you just go there by train I will you know if we could have gone anywhere by train we would have but maybe is because the guy that always wangs on about value and travel odds no one would credit that would love that I mean I've literally just gone about getting fleece for money and I'm going to the the ultimate fleeceathon which is the Florida Disney and but yeah my son bless him it was all a bit truncated it was a bit kind of disrupted and but he yeah he went back to school since he's a year six now and I was walking him down there and it's just it's funny with kids isn't it I really thought I'd be a stoic dad and there I was the old bottom let was going not his mine because you know it's the last year where he's starting primary school and let's be honest all right he allows me to see him up to just outside the gates but there's the time is coming not too far where it will

7:16be drop me off round around the corner do you not mean it'll be like dropping off a secret briefcase in an espionage case taking my son to school so I'd like to thank him for letting me still take him to school I'd also like to thank the people at the fringe show a couple of met a couple of patrons there after I think it was the Friday show was it the first day show so Seb was backstage and it's become a bit of a tradition is that he announced with me on stage and he does he did a little bit of a roast of me I think he said welcome the guy that always gets everywhere four hours earlier than he needs to and so blessed and then people were actually asking me about Seb afterwards and somebody even recognized him by his voice I think I think I mentioned this but anyway thank you to my son the fuck you goes to the Edinburgh fringe so as I was saying I had a lot of correspondence from people saying why went to Edinburgh Fringe it was quite busy as I'll say I'll say again the first two weeks were busier than usual what I was talking about was the week that I was up there which was just the last week just to be clear again might take it sales ended up decent but overall there were

8:19reports of horror shows so I'll just read you up a few things that corroborate this because no one seems to believe me so this was an article in the industry website short tool calls grow to move the Edinburgh Fringe one week earlier one of the biggest Edinburgh Fringe venues is called for next year's festival to be fought but forward a week after a final few days of this year's event were widely perceived to be a damp squid performance complaint this has led to poor sales because of the late finish and so the assembly venue which is one of the big four as they're called they released the statement saying companies and artists have consistently raised the current schedule as a pressure point particularly in this last week an assembly festival venues believe an earlier start would ease that pressure so of course so it was definitely down in the last week I think the overall tickets issued were up across the festival but there were way more performances so actually the average attendance for a show went down but the last week is a particular issue you think logically they might say you know what next week it's going to finish even later so maybe we styled a bit earlier but no it's the Edinburgh Fringe they've just said we can't do that we can't

9:23do that it's just two it's two difficult it's just two difficult darling and this is the this is the the organisation the one year this was about three years ago or it was the first Fringe after Covid didn't have an app in the 2020s just it's just two difficult darling meanwhile we've moved into our fancy new offices but it's just it's just too difficult to move it forward okay that's it that's I'm saying nothing more about the Edinburgh Fringe year but now we're going to start with the politics and we're going to talk about Andy Burnham finally making his way down the A1M1 whatever to the House of Commons so before we talk about the substance in inverted commas of what Burnham said let's talk about Keir Starber just pissing on his chips because Keir Starber the day before so Burnham's going to do his first bit in the comments on the Tuesday Keir Starber on the but they decide to so

10:24stepping down as an MP right this is like the final flip flop captain you turn over there let's we forget not that long ago we're saying that Rishi Sudak will probably go off to Silicon Valley what's he least he's just interested about uh Rishi Sudak by the way still an MP Keir Starber few days as an MP and he's like nah fuck it you know just out I've had enough I've heard about people they do that boil us fixed uh so I would imagine that it wouldn't surprise me if Keir Starber's got some big job uh lined up on the international stage so Andy Burnham on the Tuesday so Tuesday we'll get onto PMQ's to Tuesday was a bit of a different beast it was in laying out his vision so it was a bit more of what he feels comfortable doing uh I ain't not being challenged on anything and just just just dishing out the vibes he he did as I expected use some of Starmer's approach so after Kemi had done her bit uh which was very good he stood up and said well I'd just like to uh folk the honorable lady for such a warm welcome Starmer's gag that was Starmer's gag admittedly you know Burnham will get more credit

11:28for it because he's just that bit more genial isn't he and uh so in response to what she was saying about the remedies we need for the economy um he went right back to Fatcher I mean it was literally like the kind of political analysis at one point that you would hear in a pub in Boutil you know I'll just go say to the honorable lady yeah I would say he's uh Margaret Thatcher goes by Fatcher you know it just what that was sort of 40 years ago since the woman was prime minister I mean what I think that that plays well to the base there certainly blokes my age it will never tire of hearing old lady Fatcher getting a bashing but I do wonder if you're trying to win back left wing support among the young you're now talking about I mean somebody else made this um comparison it's like somebody in the 1960s talking about somebody from the 1920s okay it is quite a long time ago admittedly there's more video and stuff and we're doing terrigate our recent past more but it did feel a little bit outmoded in some respects so then we get to uh Wednesday which is

12:31the money shop which is uh PMQ's right so this is where he can't the point about the Tuesdays statement um was that he got to wax liry cool now he has got to respond to things and I got to be honest when I when I watched PMQ's I thought it was pretty good overall I thought it was pretty good from Badenock who I did think seemed a bit nervous as she's going how do I look I had a really fun time for the last six to nine months uh just drop kicking Kirstama once a week into orbit but this is he's a different prospect he's a better public speaker undoubtedly and you know he seemed they but I thought it was good I thought it was good from both of them it's actually good for politics I think that it was a better quality exchange you know and Kirstama made not came in did a little flirty line to get things going which was a bit of a surprise as she she praised Burnham for a stamina of the three hours session the previous day which might have been a smart move you know to throw him throw him off guard she also said I'm 48 and I don't I know I don't look it

13:33you know which brilliant for TikTok all right that immediately you can see the emojis there with the painting of the nails slay queen slay queen and uh so she she she comes out the first big question that she asks him right is what is he cut right because she says that the priority is to get spending down some what if you cut and he comes up and he gives a good answer but not a good answer this is the whole thing of how I felt watching this of basically the first time watch I thought Burnham had done quite well and the second time I watched it I thought I'm fucking this guy's going to be on the roped fairy fucking quickly but let's let's establish why I think that because the answer that he gave was uh well in a word what I've caught is tux right good right he's in the moment he pivots he points to the five percent reduction in VAT on our energy bills and let me know how you're going to spend that 45 quid a year what are you going to spend it on a third of your water bill don't go crazy he also talks about the relief in business rates for hospitality which

14:35I don't think anybody in hospitality is angry about it but people see as a welcome change in direction again it's not gonna it's not gonna change their bottom line radically right so you go that was good from him he was in the moment he spun it back on her he's given his back benches an opportunity to go yeah yeah more more right but the point was he didn't actually answer the question he basically did what Keir Starmer did but just in a more awful way she asked him what spending of you cut right that was the question maybe if she'd have ended it by saying what spending of you cut but he might well have still pivoted to the same angle well too well of course right but that's the point he's he's just said well I've given you another example of spending in a way because when you cut taxes and government revenue right you have to raise that money elsewhere so you know as much as the good answer that Andy Burham did pleased his back benches it wasn't it was kind of worrying in its in its own way yes you know he gets like what a premium of about an

15:40extra 70% bang for his buck for just for not standing like Keir Starmer I could just imagine Starmer given the same answer even with the same instincts I'll tell you what I have cut tax he would have got all of he would have just started on the run up and he would have just he would have absolutely spaffed the punch line against the wall what most painful thing so you know but there's some sign for his back benches that this is going to be different and Andy Burham one of his defaults is to talk about working together you know we're going to work together he also did have that weird thing that I've noticed with Andy Burham is that a lot of his syllables are coming out weird angles that was somebody said they sounded lucky was reading a telegram and so he takes refuge in in we're not going to have political points scoring we're going to work together well do you want to know how long he lasted before mentioning the 14 years to second question halfway through the second question he mentions the 14 years what have they done in 14 years and then whether it's the next answer the one after that we get a loose truss reference right

16:46and he's talking oh okay maybe this isn't so different what what is quantitatively different here in terms of substance we can absolutely accept that the style is way better but in terms of substance from but Starmer and it's not that much is it and I do wonder you know we talk about mentioning a facture being a long time ago let's trust is now let's trust is now four prime ministers ago right and I don't know what that just feel I don't know if it's because it happened in the immediate aftermath of covid but I sometimes think that stuff in and around that time feels further more distant to me than things that happened in 2018 or just before covid I don't know if you have that same experience and just going loose truss right it's just it's not a punchline in itself isn't it it's like when people respond to tiny Blair by just go erarch you know you that's an endy argument you're mentioning a weak point for him but you've got actually create an argument and and the question that he failed to answer repeatedly through this pmqs is that he's promising that he hasn't said no to anybody yet and so how is he going to raise the money to pay for these

17:53things that he's promising well he said that the VAT cut was fully funded by we're not proceeding with digital ID yeah but your ex secretary to the treasury said that that wasn't hadn't been funded anyway so that's not an answer and how are you going to how are you going to pay for Andy he's going to be one of the biggest questions throughout his premiership is it going to be higher taxes is it going to be more borrowing or is it going to be spending cuts I don't know you you guys at home you you guys you you spend you spend the wheel of what you think a left of center labor pm is going to do so all in all you know it did pretty well on the Tuesday but again you know wasn't challenged but on the Wednesday of pmqs I think that in the moment there would have been a lot of a lot of people you know labor MPs and commentators and activists that would have you know trudged out of there it's like the home team you know got to one there's a new manager right there's a few new faces and they would have been happy but you know like when you win a game

18:54and I'm not I don't even think you won I think at the best it was a school draw but you go my god we we shipped a lot of chances didn't we and that keeper do you know it's every time there's a cross when that keeper if I can proper Dracula and afraid of crosses old gag and so I do think the good she's just going to hammer him to the the the the mass every single time of what you're going to cut Andy what are you going to cut and if he can't say what he's going to cut is who you're going to attack Andy who you're going to attack uh girls buster sorry uh so yeah I really think it was interesting to to give it a second viewing because what was clear he hasn't gone on on on what he's going to cut in terms of spending because he's uh he's undy burn him going to be everyone's me so I have offered a lot of spending uh do you want some money I'll give you some money do you want a five and and he also despite claiming that he was going to I mean how many times of they claimed it was going to be the end of punch and duty politics that pisses me off in itself yeah punch and duty pretty successful okay we like the punch and the duty you know I mean

19:55I mean looking back I think a lot of that was it about domestic violence maybe what was at the core punch and duty wasn't good but it was a successful franchise for a reason and um and yeah within the middle of the second answer he gone back to I mean within two days in the comments he'd mentioned he blamed ladyfature he blamed Liz Truss I mean well what else is he going to play where the fat cats I mean he was almost going through the kind of the greatest hits of the populace left wing playbook and you know with the issue surrounding him coming to the commons or with the cost of borrowing going up which I do think is you know there's a percentage of it maybe not the most part which is to do with the investors looking at labor in this government they've got good spending rules but Andy Burnham keeps you know keeps getting his wallet out you know you know no one knows one of those fellows at the pub your dad's mate who just go do you want to fight like he's that guy at the pub and the international borrowing community look at that game and yeah I don't mean they've got these rules and yet there's him so he's going to have even less headroom and he's going into a budget where it might be his worst nightmare the job that he always

20:57wanted to do he's either going to have to he's going to either have to uh risk taxing more and really sort of putting the pinters on spending at crash there could be right or he's going to have to reduce spending on welfare so you know be careful what you wish for listen up because announcements are coming soon and if you want to be part of that obviously your patron will be the best place to get it but you could also join the mailing list because there are announcements coming soon I promise you go to jeffnauacock.co.uk go halfway down the page there's a button says mailing list join up and you will get the announcements first okay so as you say uh chemi did pretty well I think you know she'd have come away from Andy Burnham's first visit to the comments a bit like you know like the Battle of Jutland right is the way you engage red meat for the middle age war obsess genetics the battle of Jutland you

21:59know that came out and it was kind of like in the moment like the bridge lost quite a lot of ships but it's only in the aftermath of the the battle that they sort of said actually they're a bit fucked going forward and we took some hits but I think we're in a better position so I think that she'll be reasonably confident about the next few weeks leading up to the budget although you know Burnham fucking there's going to be conference season coming up as well so um how many PMQ's there are over next few weeks remains to be seen but one thing I've said on this podcast quite a while is that the stories are a bit anonymous in terms of who can speak on tele and people give a shit about what they're saying um you know reform are quite strong in this respect whatever you think about them as personnel is they've got several people that are a good box office right they've got Nigel they've got Leanderson they've got Zeeer Yusif Zeeer Yusif he's not a Tasmanian devil isn't he just fucking let me out I saw he was I saw Zeeer Yusif was on uh was on a social media again late night tweeting and he was saying that there's a labour um candidate that's going to run in

23:00Holburn that was born um overseas and he was sort of saying can you see what they're doing yet and you go right if that's your anglers of party that people that are born and become British citizens shouldn't be able to run in elections it's not how I feel but you got remembered under the theme Zaharwi was born in Baghdad I mean it was just it's interesting because some people have support reform are saying all these attacks on Zeeer saying that he's not like to it in the group are kind of like hit jobs from the center of right press or left ring press but you've got one if you're on the themes of harwi and you're looking in you know you're morning coffee going oh okay fine but you know he is an interesting personality uh Robert Jenric is an organized public speaker rich of ties is quite charismatic they've got four or five people maybe even more that which they talk to the press people might carry on watching and listening um the labour part you know Burnham is that John Healey is not that I don't know if John Healey would ever be now he's sort of like the kind of English John Swinney any just looks like that kind of old old manager that you bring in for a relegation battle um West street in good Shabinamamood people like

24:01a policies I don't know if she's a great public speaker labour a bit feel on the ground but the tour is probably have the biggest problem in this respect because Kemi is on a bit of a run here but who who else is there that's the problem for them so they've had a bit of a reshuffle and probably an acknowledgement of this fact now the problem is the people that they had that you did know uh came with a bit of baggage you know pretty but tell it's got more baggage then the Mrs and the mother and after a shopping trip at Bluewater do you know what I mean and and so you know she was associated with the Boris wave and I still think that Boris Johnson wants to get soapist off because that is the word for it that is the word people journalists often try and give themselves a pass by saying you know what some people are calling the Boris wave you got you you're you just called it the Boris wave you're calling it the Boris wave it is the Boris wave does not get away from that and uh so pretty Patel was associated with that she's well loved within the party the activist base she's done a lot over the years but perhaps she was too wedded to that so she um is out and also probably a bigger you know a bigger position in terms of

25:06influence is Mel Stride I like Mel Stride you know I think he's a good bloke he's well liked in the house but although these days you know in the age of the uni party being well liked as a criticism isn't it in the in the online attack years he's well liked what does that tell you traitor um but he uh wasn't really getting any cut through shadow chance like I mean he's his posts on stuff was so well informed you go look you're you're an analogue guy and a digital age I agree with everything you're saying but nobody is reading that mega thread Mel um so he he's gone and in his place is Andrew Griffith now what he has in his favour I think he had an intervention on Starmer that I seem to remember that was quite arresting as he'd done a stand in at deputy PM Q's maybe he has or deputy PM PM you know what I mean um but there was a graphic put out saying comparing his experience in the private sector to labours and it does seem that he might have had more experience actually making money rather than just spending other

26:12people's money than the entire labor cabinet some people said that um it was a little bit manipulated and Andy Burnham had spent I know six months of fucking journalist which does speak to the point if you're rooting around go shit this doesn't look good on us guys guys has anybody ever worked for a company that had to make its own money rather than be funded by taxpayer and then somebody in the back going I I I worked for I worked for the local art center good fucking local funding anybody else Andy Burnham did work experience in 1974 at the Norville echo I mean he's got he still some of the people that she's bought in they do look much for much this is going to be half them a standout I guess what he might do there might be a clarity about his economic attack maybe the point is is that whoever is in the shadow chancellor position just needs to be a bit more angry male stride just just a nice guy so they need to find a way of getting these new shadow ministerial appointments traction I don't know if it's the reality TV route you know you could could go down the

27:15Chris Phillips route you know just get shot at by the French that's good way of doing it what's worked for other people you know Ed Davis already done the falling off stuff I just don't know a sex scandal I do wonder sometimes we haven't had many of those recently you know just I watch the film called Charlie Wilson's war recently about the American congressman who who led the kind of investment to help the Mujahideen beat the Soviets right and he like he loved the ladies you know he loved to get he loved and he he was called good time Charlie you know just because he said hey I like the ladies everyone's hey it's good time Charlie as long as he's good at his job that's what you need we're in an absolute swordsman in the Tories shadow cabinet you know obviously not drugs but kind of guy gets a bit of a party boy you know turns up for a bit I'm not saying don't go full Boris don't go with the hair bit of a ladies man I don't know or a lady a man's lady I don't know but they need they need something because James Clevver is also he's off now he's resigned and he's good looking to run for London mayor which would be good just to see uh so they can't finally have to actually debate somebody it's about time the Tories uh put up uh uh you know

28:19a decent candidate there so it's interesting I don't know I mean if there is a snap election and I still think it's an outside chance can he will be up against the fact that even less people know who uh colleagues are but if there isn't they've got two in a bit years now to try you know it's almost it's difficult at the moment for the Tories getting a profile for a Tories politician is a bit like the Edinburgh fringe final Edinburgh fringe slam trying to make a comedian a household name it's just a lot a lot harder than it was okay that is the breaking news episode I hope you enjoy it thanks for listening by the way um just a reminder to people if you get the podcast they are still a lot of you that I can tell I can tell by the matrix you google it once a week you fools just go up to the top right hand corner or left hand corner and there'll be a button that says follow this podcast or subscribe to this podcast and then you know I get the numbers you uh you get the you get the audio joy of me coming in you no I'm not gonna say that uh but also I look out

29:20of the reviews so let's do a couple from Apple if you put a five star review on Apple podcasts I'll read it out and then we'll have a quick check of what's going on in the wild west of Spotify I've been listening since the low numbers I mean rather than listeners oh episodes rather than listeners this is from Johnny Spads Christ I assume the listener count has gone up since then yes it has on top of the open-minded political analysis when he's never more than half a step from a joke I love Jeff's impressions particularly Kirstraba shame to do seem disappear off into the sunset along with little Rishi Rihi although Burnham is coming along nicely well I'm coming along very nicely thank you for not listening uh yeah thanks for all that man I getting in the odd gag is part of why I do it because I sort of think if you wanted to stray our political analysis you'd listen to a political podcast I'm gonna do I commit here by this dispatch box doing stupid voice at least once every four minutes um this is from ex prohound just saw Jeff at a fringe which was great so I thought I'd give his podcast a listen and really enjoyed it very honest and funny um that is uh that is

30:24interesting that's normally not the way around it happens so thank you for that Tom Walton Temmie says that Jeff's Edinburgh fringe solo round solo show rant was his best in months all I needed was a go woke but go broke so thank you for that now let's go in let's delve into I'll probably should have a sound effect for this but the absolute wild west that is Spotify okay so I'm reading these as I see them wild fox counts Spotify says hey Jeff sorry to be pananting but VAT doesn't represent one in five apples it's one in six uh love your podcast Jeff this is from Greg it went far too far into the Edinburgh fringe from my taste uh is the fringe relevant these days says Paul it appears about as funny as construction week at the NEC that's a funny line and a couple of people reminding me that the famous pun in Scottish football was super cally or terrific Celtic or Trojus so whatever platform you listen to this on uh I appreciate your using a horrific american slang and I'll be back with another main episode on Tuesday of next week