Bricklayer

Katrina Kaye

This poem was first published in Catching Calliope Vol 2, 2014.

I want to be a bricklayer;

something concrete

as opposed to just impression.

I want to learn to draw hands with accuracy.

To show precision in the etch of knuckles,

shaded in darkness.

There was never enough color.

There are so many

ways to look at one thing:

a church is violet against the changing sky,

the horizon set on fire into the back fall.

September sun crests different over

the yellow fields of the east

than the dirt of the city at dawn.

I prefer to paint at night.

I sketch my father twice,

struggling to do justice to the

rashes on the tips of fingers,

but my messages do not form easy.

The images I cross out

are more vital than those kept.

Instead of laying brick,

I layer strokes of finely charred sulfur lemon

removing the bright from the dark.

Pile one on top of the other.

Inspiration turns illusive

after the initial thread is cut,

displayed, set aside.

Too much coffee and wine,

too many sleepless nights,

strung too high.

Obsessed with ideal.

It is no wonder I always staggered home alone.

Unable to abandon canvas and easel

until the obtainment of perfection.

But how many masterpieces can

one man create?

It is only a matter of time

before I slip from the wall.

A chest wound,

self-inflicted,

in a field of wheat,

like so many I painted.

Surrounded by something

I find

beautiful.

More from Katrina Kaye ↓

• @poetkatrinakaye on Instagram, Threads, and BlueSky
• Her website: poetkatrinakaye
• Her chapbook No Longer Water is available through Echobird Press