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My entitled brother-in-law wakes me up from a nap, demanding that I make him dinner,
stating that as long as me and my family are staying in his house temporarily,
then I need to be in the kitchen just like his wife making him dinner whenever he wants.
And I'm honestly blown away by this situation and I now don't know what to do.
Here's what happened.
Okay, so my husband who we will call Tom, as well as our two sons were recently in a house fire
and lost our home, but luckily we were all out of the house when this happened.
Tom's brother who we will call Sean, as well as his wife,
agreed to let us stay at his place with their kids while we sort out insurance.
Now, I don't like Sean, as he believes in traditional gender roles in his household.
We have had issues.
Ever since he realized I would keep my maiden name at work, which I informed him was none of his
business, and it was my personal choice. He works full time and his wife is a housewife.
When we had our sons, Sean thought that I would quit my job as a doctor and become a stayed-home mom.
However, Tom became a stayed-home dad instead and then went back to work after our son went to
school and doesn't share the same thought process as Sean. Sean clearly disappers of this and me,
and he vocalized his thoughts about the situation. I got Tom to speak to Sean, and he has left us
alone ever since then, but occasionally used to make comments at holidays and birthdays,
about which I just completely ignore. They stop when Tom returned to work, and since then,
Tom says that Sean has grown as a person. Tom and Sean are very close, and I would never tell
him to stop talking to him, but I personally interact as little as possible with Sean.
My son's school in Tom's workplace is walking distance from Sean's house,
which is why I agreed to stay, and suck it up while we get back on our feet as it is temporary.
Yesterday was a very hectic day at work, and I was exhausted. My shift ended midday,
and I went straight to bed. Everyone was out of the house, and Sean and Tom went to work.
The kids were at school, and Sean's wife went to see a friend. Well, Sean got home first,
and he woke me up. Now, I was upset and still tired, and when I asked him why,
he said to me that I should start making dinner as it was getting late, and his wife was out and
not picking up her phone. Usually, I do the cooking in the house with his wife, but I was upset that
Sean had woke me up, and I yelled at him to not disturb me. I then kicked him out of the room,
and I told him I was going back to sleep, and he could sort out his own dinner. When I woke up
that evening, Sean told me that while I was under his house, I need to respect his house rules.
I told him he could have cooked for himself, he did leftovers in the fridge, or gotten take away.
Now, Tom thinks that Sean did overstep by waking me up and making demands,
but I shouldn't have yelled and escalated the situation. So honestly, at this point,
I'm incredibly pissed off and frustrated, and I really don't know what to do.
Before we go any further, the original poster has an update to this situation.
Here's what they had to say. Okay, to start things out, I didn't expect so many responses,
and I have read quite a few of them. I spoke to a friend who said that we are welcome at her place.
I told my husband I was leaving with the kids, and he was welcome to join me or stay at Sean's house.
My brother-in-law didn't tell my husband the whole story,
and said I just flat out refused to cook, and then yelled at him out of tiredness,
when one of the conditions on us staying was that we would cook and help out around the house.
I was upset that my husband believed Sean, but he also didn't have the full story.
In our culture, we place a big emphasis on respecting elders,
and I know I feel uncomfortable opposing elder relatives on my side of the family,
so I get why my husband does struggle.
This experience has made me put my foot down though,
and I've told my husband I don't want our sons anywhere near him.
I think this has also been an eye-opener for my husband,
and he has agreed to move out with me, although my brother-in-law asked him to stay.
When we get our place sorted out, only my sister-in-law and my kids' cousins will be allowed over.
My sister-in-law has called to apologize for my brother-in-law's behavior,
but here's the thing, I have not heard from him at all.
He was silent to me, and only talked to my husband and the kids.
I agreed to move in with my brother-in-law, as I believed that he had changed in his beliefs,
and it had been a few years since our last fight, but apparently not.
Also, the house belonged to my husband's late parents, and he owns half of it.
Also, with our insurance, they have finally ruled the fire as a faulty,
electrical situation in the kitchen, so we will get a place of our own by Friday.
But regardless, I hope I never deal with my brother-in-law ever again,
because what he did to me was absolutely uncalled for.
Holy crap, that guy is such an awful person.
Sean literally walked over to the original poster and said,
hey, while you're in my house, you need to cook in the kitchen.
Basically saying, oh yeah, women belong in the kitchen while you're under my roof.
It's like, dude, what are you doing?
If you want to try that crap with your wife, I guess go for it,
even though I think it's wrong.
But to do that crap to somebody else's wife?
Under the guise of, oh, if you're under my house, you have to follow my rules.
Like, dude, I don't know what you're talking about, but that is not going to happen.
You can't boss someone around and take away their autonomy,
all because you're hungry and you want dinner.
Who's going to make my dinner now?
It's like, dude, what are you talking about right now?
Order a pizza, heat up some leftovers.
Cook for yourself, do something, don't drag a guest in your house into this,
and be like, oh, if you're going to be in my house, you've got to follow the rules.
And it's like, your rules are super sexist.
What are you talking about?
Oh, okay, so you make the women cook for you?
What do you like 12 years old?
So yeah, this whole scenario is so messed up, it's not even funny.
But I'm honestly super glad the original poster put this guy in his place,
because him not only saying this to you, but also trying to lie about it,
in my opinion, is a massive red flag.
And I know if I was in your shoes, I would never do with this guy ever again.
If you like Am I the Jerk, you're probably going to love Am I the Genius.
Check it out, link down below in the description.
Also, go to Am I the Jerk.com slash submit.
If you would like to submit your own stories.
Today, I kicked a client out the door of my store,
because he came in five minutes before closing,
and tried to ask a thousand questions before we were done for the day.
But I truly was not willing to deal with that,
and so I asked him to leave.
Here's what happened.
Okay, so I work at a copy center, and we print documents and photos,
and at 9.54pm, a guy came into print business cards.
First of all, why in the world is he here five minutes before closing?
Secondly, he came in with something that can't be solved in five minutes,
because A is just business cards,
and B, he started asking a bunch of stupid follow-up questions,
meaning he had no idea what he needed.
You're probably guessing that business cards are printed and sliced on a machine
in large runs, and it's not done in a regular office with a Xerox machine.
Even if it isn't true, that's fine, because you likely listen politely to my explanation,
realize you won't get the results you want now, and go home afterwards.
Well, he didn't go home, but continue to ask if it was possible
to print on a regular sheet of paper right now.
Now, I, knowing the tricks of Xerox, said that no,
double-sided printing of business cards will not work,
and the color will definitely not be the same.
He continued to insist that he needed these stupid business cards,
and asked how long it would take me to adjust this layout,
to which he received a direct answer.
None, I will not be doing it, especially now,
but even after that, he did not calm down,
and asked to make him at least one-sided.
To finally make him go away,
I even printed him a couple of sheets of his business cards on plain paper.
Now, let me clarify, I don't mind getting into a person's situation
if they urgently need to do something,
or even just to help them out even if my working hours are over,
but this one came with a blissful smile and a pile of questions,
not giving a single care about the fact that it was not my working hours.
What really got me was when he started asking irrelevant questions.
Stuff like, where did you go to college?
And again, nothing wrong with small talk, but not at 10 o'clock p.m.
I realized he's a total jerk,
and at this pace he's going to sit here until he's tongue tied,
or ends up staying to hit on me.
I asked him if he would like to take these papers,
which, by the way, of course, he didn't like the color,
and he said no.
So, I just pointed to the door with a straight hand and I said goodbye,
and I honestly hope I don't deal with that guy ever again.
I love this story for a few reasons,
but the biggest one is the fact that you decided,
no, I'm not going to stay here past hours and deal with your garbage.
So that means you either have really good managers
who let you kind of like function on your own,
or you just don't care, and you're like,
look, I'm not dealing with this.
Because both sides of this coin are awesome,
and I love this about this story.
Because I've been in situations where I have managers
who are like, no, you have to stay and help them out.
And it's like, dude, it's 10 o'clock at night.
Are you kidding me right now?
I want to go home.
But the fact that you told this guy, okay,
take a hike and leave, I cannot help you right now.
That is hilarious to me, and it's very well deserved.
And I personally have the same attitude as the original poster.
If there really is some kind of like emergency,
and they need these business cards like right away,
then sure, you help them out and you get it done.
But I think this guy was literally just wasting everybody's time,
and that is super annoying.
So good for you for getting this done,
because if I was in your shoes,
I would have tried to do the exact same thing.
I pay my brother $100,000 a year,
while also giving him the freedom to choose his own hours,
and do his work at his own pace.
But even still, he constantly complains,
leaving me in a position where I am literally questioning everything.
Here's what happened.
So I spent the last seven years building my business
to support myself initially, and now my brother.
He has had a lot of mental health struggles in his 20s,
but he pushed through it.
He left a stable white collar job he hated,
and started a $12 an hour retail gig right before the pandemic.
He got furloughed, and I happened to get a call for a dream job I couldn't refuse.
And I spent the next three months between training my brother,
and onboarding for this new company.
Four years later, and it didn't work out,
and we are working together again.
Now you would think he would be grateful,
but I would be posting here if he was now would I.
He makes $100,000 a year,
doing work that should take six hours a day at max.
Now I don't tell him when to work.
I don't restrict his time off,
and he chooses what orders he wants to accept or reject.
He has the ability to make $150,000 a year
if he wanted to put in a full day's work.
Now it sounds great, right?
Well no, that's wrong.
He constantly complains.
He has to respond to client inquiries from nine o'clock in the morning
until five o'clock at night,
but because he's so busy, he needs my help.
Despite the fact that I already answer all messages
outside of business hours and on weekends,
if he sees that a message hasn't been responded to in an hour,
and I said I was helping that day,
he berates me for not communicating that I'm online
and accuses me of not doing my job.
He constantly tells me that I don't care about the business.
All the while, I'm literally completing double his workload,
covering three times more hours of client chats.
He has told me I need to tell him if I'm not going to be available,
and when I'm going to be offline,
even though my schedule has zero impact on his responsibilities,
or his expectations as an employee,
I'm really frustrated.
I'm feeling like the actual roles here are reversed,
and in reality, he's just a super-entitled brat.
What should I do?
Wow, your brother gets paid $100,000 a year,
and he wants to sit there and complain,
not to mention the fact that he could be making more money
if he put in a full days of work.
Like, this guy just sounds straight up lazy.
Like, I'm sorry, that is so unbelievably toxic.
So I know if I was the owner of this company
and I had a brother working like this,
I would tell him straight up,
listen, if you don't like what's going on,
or if you can't handle your job,
then please, by all means, find something else.
Like, I know plenty of people who would love to have a job like that,
where they set their own hours,
they're not being micromanaged,
and they can make six figures in a year.
Like, are you serious right now?
That's a dream.
Not to mention the fact that he can make more money
than his like standard paycheck.
So yeah, hopefully your brother sees the light of day,
and realizes that he has a dream job right now,
because he can either get it together and figure his life out,
or he could easily find himself getting fired from this job.
This next story came from the Am I the Jerk subreddit?
Check the links in the description
if you would like to submit your own story.
Am I the Jerk for not giving a Karen customer
the sandwich that she deserved?
Because this lady literally complained over nothing,
and I'm honestly wondering if I'm gonna have a job
at the end of the day.
Here's what happened.
So I work at a small family-owned deli.
It's a cozy spot,
and we pride ourselves on good food and good service.
One day during the lunch rush,
a woman who I will refer to as Karen comes in with her kid.
She immediately starts inspecting the sandwiches
on the counter like she's at a museum,
but honestly, whatever.
I'm used to picky customers so this isn't unusual.
She orders a turkey sandwich,
but when I ask if she wants it toasted,
she snaps at me and says,
no, I don't want it toasted.
I want it fresh, not burnt.
I assure her that our bread is always fresh,
and we don't toast unless specifically ask for it.
She's calm for a second,
but then she eyes the deli meats and says,
I want my turkey slice thinner,
like really thin.
Is that too much to ask?
I look at her a little surprised
because our turkey is already sliced pretty thin,
but I nod and I tell her I'll pass the request
along to the slicer.
I wrap up the sandwich and I hand it to her,
but then she suddenly starts waving her hands dramatically.
This is not what I ask for, she exclaims,
causing the entire line of customers to turn and look.
Now, I'm just standing there thinking,
what could possibly be wrong?
She then points at the sandwich.
This turkey is way too thick.
Do you not know how to make a sandwich?
Now, at this point, I'm trying to stay professional,
but I can't help but feel a little frustrated.
I know the turkey isn't thick,
but I ask her, would you like me to remake it with thinner slices?
She then lets out a half.
No, I want to talk to your manager.
This is ridiculous.
So, I go to the back and I tell my manager
who's already heard the whole ordeal.
She then walks out to confront this Karen.
She then starts screaming,
this is terrible customer service.
I should be getting the best sandwich of my life
for what I paid for.
Now, my manager is super chill,
but when Karen starts yelling,
my manager just nods and calmly says,
I'm sorry you're upset.
We can remake your sandwich or refund you.
Which would you prefer?
The Karen's face then turns red.
I want to refund,
and I'm telling all my friends about how bad this place is.
You don't know how to make a sandwich.
I want your store shut down.
My manager doesn't even flinch.
She gives the Karen her full refund and says,
I'm sorry we couldn't meet your expectations
and I hope you find a place that better suits you.
As the Karen storms out, I hear muttering,
I'm going to make sure this place never survives.
Now, the best part about this
is that one of the regulars
who had been watching the whole scene
said to me, hey, don't worry kid,
you can't please everybody.
Some people just need a good sandwich
to chew on instead of drama.
And after they said that,
we all had a really good laugh.
And it definitely lightened the mood.
Honestly, it was one of those days
where I just had to remind myself
that not everyone gets their way
and sometimes people just need a moment to be heard,
even if it's over a sandwich.
Yeah, I've dealt with people like this before
and honestly it is so weird.
It's almost like they want to be upset over something
and it's like, okay, I guess if I'm the person
to get yelled at, go for it.
It's never fair and it's never something you want to deal with.
But the Karen in the story kind of fits that bill.
So good for you for the way you handle it
because you honestly didn't do anything wrong.
And I the jerk for watching my best friend's favorite show
after she told me all about it
and then told me not to watch it.
Here's what happened.
Okay, so I want to watch my best friend's favorite show
at the moment after she kept talking to me about it
and I eventually decided that I wanted to check it out.
When I told her I wanted to, she told me not to
as she likes to keep her favorite things private to her
so they feel more special and personal
and so I don't potentially criticize them
because she says any criticism will ruin it for her.
And as a side note, I have a long history
of being a bit heavy-handed with criticizing
to be completely honest
but I'm a lot better now than I used to be.
For a bit more context, me and my friend
are pretty much each other's only friends
just because we're both fairly weird
and kind of socially awkward
and just don't go out and meet new people much
and both have a fair share of flaws
which we don't mind about each other
and as a result have been friends for about six years.
We both like anime and talk about it quite a lot
and she's been talking to me about this new one
for a couple of months
all the way to the point where I wanted to go watch it
and see if I'd like it as well.
My friend has a weird thing however
that she likes to keep her most favorite things personal to herself
so that they feel more unique and special for her
which I'm normally fine with
as we'll still talk and yap about them anyways
even if I haven't seen them.
This show is one of these things that she likes to keep personal
and yet we still keep on talking about it
and she shows me clips since I'm the only person
that she can really share them with.
Eventually, all of this has convinced me to watch it
but she's always insisting that I don't
and we've been through this specific debate a couple of times now
but we still keep yapping about the show happily anyways
despite that I have started to watch it
as I don't really want to let her just gatekeep it from me
and generally I don't think media or culture
is something that should be kept behind any bars.
It's also not even about embarrassment either
as she never would have talked to me about it so much
and from everything I've seen of it so far
it's completely fine considering how well we know each other
I probably won't ever tell her I've watched it at all
as I know that she'll get upset by it
having known her for like six years now
and it'll be this whole ordeal that will just be a pain
and mean nothing eventually
this is the only time it's really come to me
actually wanting to watch and her wanting to gatekeep
and the only thing I'm really curious about
is if other people think that I'm being a jerk
by not listening to her or if she's just gatekeeping the show
and I shouldn't care about it
so seriously I'm either jerk in the situation
because I really don't know what to do
okay I'm not kidding when I say this
but I'm literally the biggest scatterbrain on the planet
because anytime I'm shopping online
I always forget my login information
like seriously I'm like scrambling around
being like oh my gosh where is it
I cannot remember where I put it
but in the middle of that chaos
the one saving grace is that beautiful purple button
at the top of the payment options
that literally signals to me that Shopify has my back
it's like the one stop shop to make sure
all this chaos of shopping online just goes away
and that's one of my favorite things when it comes to shopping online
especially with Shopify
and in case you didn't know like Shopify is the real deal
this is literally a commerce platform behind
millions of businesses around the world
like they account for 10% of all e-commerce in the United States
which blew my mind I did not know that
but like seriously it kind of makes sense
because they are experts at what they do
and on top of it they're totally beginner friendly
they can literally help you design your own studio
with hundreds of ready-to-use templates
they even have options of like creating your own one-man army
when it comes like marketing
as they've got easy to make like email and social media campaigns
that can just like absolutely help your customers find the best deals
and guess what if you get stuck like I would probably do
they've got an award-winning 24-7 customer support
and it's like bro I don't know about anyone else
but it really sounds like Shopify absolutely has this figured out
so whether you're shopping online
or creating your own brand
Shopify is absolutely the place to start
see less cards go abandoned and more sales go
with Shopify and their shop pay button
sign up for your $1 per month trial today
at shopify.com slash AITJ
go to shopify.com slash AITJ
that's shopify.com slash AITJ
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okay in my opinion i think everybody sucks in this story
the fact that the friend is trying to gatekeep this show in my opinion is really
weird but also it sounds like the original poster
is really annoying about anything that they're shown
they're probably super obnoxious about their criticism about everything
and they kind of like kill the vibe when it comes to
anything that someone else might enjoy
so to that end i can't blame your friend for being like no
please don't watch it this is like the one good thing i have left that you
haven't touched but that also doesn't excuse your friend from like really
gatekeeping this and being like no you're not allowed to watch this
like both of the people in this story really need to like figure their lives out
because this is not normal behavior so yeah my opinion i think everybody sucks in this story
my entitled mother wants me to come back home and take care of her
despite the fact that she's treated me poorly my entire life
here's what happened so my mother who adopted me when i was six years old
emotionally mistreated me and neglected me throughout my childhood
most of my memories are filled with babysitters while she was living it up
school bullying and therapist while she refused to believe that any of my problems stem
from my relationship with her i've been slowly working through my issues with a therapist
and now live several hours away from her and i work a full-time job as a news producer
as my mother has grown older she's now become a shell of who she used to be
she is now a hermit she does nothing she loves being the victim and she is condescending
and very judgmental she has an abundance of loyal friends who think she's a god send
but all know there's something not quite right about her on sunday i had to call 911 for her
because she said she was feeling dizzy and had the sweats after testing at the hospital
they found that she had a small ulcer that it caused minor bleeding i've been in
communication with the hospital this entire time and her best friend of over 36 years
who lives about an hour away was able to drive down to be with her the ulcer has since
been attributed to stress bad dieting and lack of exercise her friends and i have talked to
her about this so many times i honestly just don't even bother anymore aside from some discomfort
the hospital has her on an ivy and will send her home with a prescription after an evaluation
when i spoke to my mother on the phone she was very frustrated and complained about the situation
she also doesn't seem to understand that she's actually improving and said she wish that
i could be there her friend also mentioned that my mother is adamant that she's not going home
until she feels 100 even if the doctor tells her that she can go home but feeling 100 percent
is unrealistic especially at that age her friend told me that my mother needs to push
herself more instead of just sitting around and waiting to feel 100 percent better
her friends doing as much as she can for my mother but she can only stay until next monday
my mother is perfectly mobile and aside from this blip she is in much better shape than a lot of
people her age and she absolutely could still eat better and be more active if she fails the
evaluation then the hospital can suggest a rehabilitation clinic for her to go to she also has
several neighbors who are more than happy and have helped a great deal since she was put in the hospital
at this point the only thing holding my mother back it seems is being home alone
despite that being something that she actually preferred before this incident again her friend
is staying until this sunday so even if my mother is released tomorrow her friend will be there for
another four days and then my godfather and his friend will come and visit afterwards but then
there's the neighbors who are actively trying to get my mother to reach out to them for help
i have my own serious health problems that i'm trying to get under control and i already work a
high stress job the idea of taking time off indefinitely that i just don't have to go back home
and having to put myself under more stress would honestly crush me and at this point i seriously
don't know what to do okay in my opinion it really sounds like your mom needs like professional
help because from the sound to vague you're not able to make this kind of sacrifice for her you've
got a lot going on and it's not like you don't care it's just that you don't have time so hopefully
this all works out for you because this sounds incredibly messy the disastrous new owners of a
restaurant i used to work at drove out the hard working staff of three years in a matter of days
and i'm honestly so glad that i don't work there anymore here's what happened okay so my bar
had to change its name for legal reasons and they decided to rebrand into a sports bar with
another company my service team had been working together for three years since we opened the place
and said we would all come back to give it a shot we were told to file for unemployment for a month
and a half while they revamped and that we would be hired right back the general manager texted
on a Saturday near that proposed opening date that they wanted people in sunday afternoon no email
but instead just an android text less than 24 hours in advance i was out of town but i showed up a
couple of days later and i was told we'd be doing training so i dressed appropriately i then showed
up to a restaurant in disarray and over 20 new TVs and clearly training would be a company by some
manual labor first the new owner asked me to clean out some trash cans saying i'd wash them out
to start the day and then clean them at the end of the day i started looking for the hose outside
and he told me that i'd need to soap them up first as i was finishing they asked me to wipe down
the box fan then they asked me to spray paint some high chairs i asked him for a mask and i was then
pointed to two used masks i said i didn't want to use a used mask and then i asked if i could go grab
one from the first aid kit i was then told this was not a good idea and was pointed back towards
the used mask in the midst of this i was asked to clean out the box fan again mind you this was a
box fan that we had had for nearly two years that had a broken on off switch which i was spending
more time at minimum wage to clean then it would cost to buy a new fan afterwards my co-workers
and i finished our tasks and we were mumbling together about several concerning things and standing
around while everyone else was eating lunch and tasting beer the owner then came up to us and
said the lean or clean thing with clenched fists barely containing his anger he told us to find
something else to do i asked if he wanted us to taste the beer and he said no as he retorted
smugly i then heard him scream at one of the employees from his company shortly thereafter about a
piece of paper that he himself had lost while we had planned to give it a week my co-workers and
i met up and had a tough time tabulating the red flags leading to people to finally admit that
it was time to move on now i thought i would stick it out for a couple more days and i was even told
for two successive days that we were doing training but that just didn't end up happening just more
general labor we tasted some leftover food but still not enough tables were ready with one day
before an invited prepaid event and three days before a soft opening with no food menu no drink
menu or beer list i realized that they were taking advantage of training to do a catering event
and i decided to leave i then heard they hadn't hired any other service staff and they were betting
it all on us but now that place is apparently a miserable revolving door and honestly i'm glad
i got out of there yeah that place sounds miserable and i don't blame you for a second for quitting
because anyone who's going to be like oh yeah we're going to be doing some training and then
expects you to do manual labor is not someone you ever want to work for when you subscribe make
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