Burning Mouth Syndrome and Finding Relief with Peggy Sharr

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In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Peggy Sharr about the multi-layered journey of getting a burning mouth syndrome diagnosis, living with chronic pain, and the profound intersection of grief and physical health. Penny joins the podcast from Athens, Georgia. Listeners will gain insights into living with invisible illness, the maze of medical specialists, and the practical strategies Peggy discovered to reclaim agency and hope.

Peggy Sharr is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and the author of The Burning Mouth Syndrome Survival Guide and her new memoir soon to come out, Surviving the Family Kingdom, about growing up in a home-grown religious cult, which she escaped from at twenty-one and rebuilt her life from the bottom up. With more than twenty years of trauma-focused experience, Peggy blends clinical insight with the raw honesty of someone who has lived through a painful, poorly understood condition herself. Her work helps people navigate fear, medical dismissal, chronic symptoms, and the emotional toll of invisible illness. Peggy lives in Athens, Georgia, where she continues her private practice, writes, paints, and advocates for those searching for clarity, validation, and hope.

Main Topics Covered:

1. The elusive path to diagnosing burning mouth syndrome (BMS) and why so many patients feel misunderstood or dismissed.
2. Navigating overwhelming grief and how emotional trauma can influence physical symptoms.
3. The unique challenges of finding the right medical specialists—such as oral pathologists—and the realities of the “disease of exclusion.”
4. Why being your own detective, advocating for yourself, and tracking symptoms is crucial for rare and invisible illnesses.
5. Practical pain management: low arginine, high lysine diets, medication, and trial-and-error treatments for BMS.
6. The psychological isolation of invisible conditions—and how support groups and education help break the stigma.
7. How Peggy’s clinical experience as a psychotherapist shaped her approach to self-advocacy and later helped her support clients in new, more authentic ways.
8. Transforming adversity into activism: starting a nonprofit, writing a groundbreaking book for BMS sufferers, and the power of sharing your story.

Quote from the Episode:

"Sitting at a dinner, for example, or going out with friends, I’m sitting there, my mouth is on fire, and everybody’s just talking and enjoying themselves, and I’m just faking it... trying to go along and have a good time and not bring other people down. I’m not going to sit there and go, ‘By the way, everybody, my mouth is on fire.’" — Peggy Sharr

Timestamps:

00:06 Welcome, intros, and where Peggy calls home (Athens, Georgia)

00:58 Comparing Iowa and Georgia; reflections on Southern hospitality

02:13 Experiencing burning mouth syndrome after loss and grief

03:34 Using Dr. Google, self-diagnosis, and examining possible causes

04:41 The persistent, life-altering nature of symptoms

06:08 How foods and drinks affect BMS; coping and dietary adjustments

07:46 Description of burning mouth pain and daily challenges

09:49 Ulcers, lesions, and the frustrations of inconclusive medical visits

11:58 Peggy’s background as a clinical psychotherapist and self-advocacy

13:45 The long road searching for the right diagnosis and effective care

17:06 The meaning of "idiopathic" and the range of secondary BMS causes

18:10 Specialist referrals: MRI, food allergy testing, and the oral pathologist

20:17 Hearing the words “burning mouth syndrome” for the first time

22:32 Life impact: working, masking pain, TMJ, and invisible suffering

27:46 The psychological isolation of chronic invisible pain

34:50 The turning point: the “three years” prognosis and the search for answers

36:30 Diving into research, joining support groups, and lessons from others

41:00 The role of diet: arginine, lysine, and practical symptom relief

49:33 Why Peggy wrote her book and began sharing her research publicly

54:00 How experiencing chronic pain and loss changed Peggy as a therapist

56:09 Resources for listeners: the BMS survival guide, newsletter, and memoir preview

57:00 Fun wrap-up: hobbies, dancing, painting, and favorite music on vinyl

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: www.peggysharr.com

GET PEGGY'S SPECIAL OFFER: If you would like the first three chapters of Peggy’s upcoming memoir Surviving the Family Kingdom for free, you can go to the website www.peggysharr.com/kingdom and sign up on the popup form.

Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.

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