Campbell Playhouse - Huckleberry Finn

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The makers of Campbell suit, present.

The Campbell play hall.

Orson Well, producer.

Good evening, this is Orson Welles.

Our story is promised is Huckleberry Finn and our guest is Jackie Cooper.

But since that promise was made, another star has joined the cast.

Walter Catlett, who space you remember from at least a hundred movies,

whose voice of most recent memories unforgettable in Pinocchio,

in which Mr. Catlett created for Mr. Disney, the character of Jay Worthington,

honest John Fowl fellow, the fox, and who?

I'm still talking about Walter Catlett.

We'll enact for us tonight the taxing role of the Duke.

Also with us in the Campbell playhouse, a Clara Blandick,

Robert Warwick, Clarence Mews, and William Alland.

These and others await their cues to play as many of the

Mark Twain characters as we could cram into a single broadcast.

They will strive to please you every one.

But right now they'd like me to read you an allowed, clear voice.

The words printed on the title page of tonight's story, I quote.

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted.

Persons attempting to find a moral and it will be banished.

Persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot by order of the author.

Now before Huckleberry Finn, Ernest Chappell has something to say about entertainment

of another sword, and Chappell said.

Thank you, Orson Welds.

Ladies and gentlemen, when you entertain a dinner,

your first concern is the pleasure of your guests.

You want to be sure that they enjoy themselves and enjoy the food you serve.

And to this end, don't you often play safe and serve chicken?

I imagine you do because you've noticed that nearly everybody enjoys chicken in

some form, roast chicken or fried chicken or chicken fricacy, let's say,

as much as you yourself probably enjoy it.

Now, I'm sure it must be this general liking for chicken that has made people

take so wholeheartedly to Campbell's chicken soup.

One after another, families have tried this chicken soup and found it rich in

chicken flavor clear through from its golden surface to the very bottom of the plate.

They've seen how its broth fairly glistens with chicken richness,

and they've released the fluffy rice and the pieces of tender chicken meat in it.

In every plateful, they've told others how much they like Campbell's chicken soup,

and so its popularity has grown and continues to grow.

Have you tried this deep flavored home-like chicken soup of Campbell's?

Why not enjoy it tomorrow?

I promise you, just as sure as you like chicken.

You like Campbell's chicken soup.

And now, Orson Well starts our Campbell Playhouse presentation with Huckleberry Finn

starting Jackie Shouper.

Last week we said that this week we brought past Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn.

Or you're expecting then a dramatization.

Could clear, concise.

Ladies and gentlemen, you'll hear no such thing.

We're sorry that we think Uncle Berry Finn is too good a book to be dramatized,

exactly speaking, and so we won't.

We don't even try a nicely parted version of the story. We couldn't do it anyway.

We don't even have to. For one thing, the story hasn't got what you call a nice plot.

The principal part of it, of course, relates to the deathless saga of a voyage down the Mississippi

by the most celebrated wrath the world has ever known.

We're going to tell most of that story, and as many of the others as we can,

and as nearly as possible in Mark Twain's own words.

Now you'll forgive me, please, but I must inject what may seem at first to be the personal note.

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that during the course of this past week,

there have been circulated rumours, rumours, evil, unfounded, and unfair,

nasty, vile rumours whose sources I cannot place, and whose origins I am at a loss to discover.

It has been said that I will perform the role of Huckleberry Finn.

You'll all be relieved, I'm sure, to hear for my own lips that this is not the case.

Must be said, however, in all candor that I restrain myself, none too easily,

to be Huckleberry Finn, even for an hour. This was not likely to be put to one side, however.

I'm as happy as possible, and as proud as I really ought to be,

to welcome now to the Campbell Playhouse that gifted and very young performer who will be Huckleberry Finn,

and who is actually a Jackie Cooper.

I'm mighty proud to meet you, Mr. Welles.

Huckleberry Finn, any friend of Mark Twain's, is always welcome here.

Mr. Twain did right proud by me in his story, didn't he?

Right proud is a bit of an understatement, huh?

Well, and I think the very beginning of the book.

You don't know about me without you've read a book by the name of the adventures of Tom Sawyer.

I thought you wasn't going to play Huckleberry Finn, Mr. Welles.

Oh pardon me.

All right, you don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of the adventures of Tom Sawyer,

but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth mainly.

There were some stretches in it, but then I never see it anybody, but I had one time or another,

without it was Aunt Paula, you're the witty Douglas.

Anyways, that book winds up by Tom and me finding the money that the robbers hid in the cave,

and it made us rich. And the winner Douglas, she picked me first son and allowed she would

civilize me. It was rough at first going to school every day and living in the house all the time,

considering her dismal regular and decent the winner was in all her ways,

but mostly things was going pretty smooth. That is till a night I killed a spider.

I was a setting in my room.

Can't I have just a paragraph or two Huck?

No more than a paragraph or two.

Thank you.

Well,

Huck was a setting in his room tired and lonesome, trying to think of something cheerful,

but it was no use. He held so long to me most wish he was dead.

The stars were shining, the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful.

It was an hour away off of who-who and about somebody that was dead.

The dog crying about somebody that was going to die and the wind was trying to whisper something to him.

The way out in the woods he heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes,

wants to tell something that's out of mind.

A candle was almost burned away.

That's more than a paragraph or two, Mr. Well.

All right, that's right, Mr. Well.

When this year's spider went crawling up my shoulder, I flipped it off and it lit in the candle

and before I could budget it was all shriveled up.

I didn't need Miss Watson's slave, Jim, to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck.

But I thought maybe I might as well know.

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Where's it?

Because then the thought of my path gave into my mind.

My ID powerful.

Folks claims you know that my path was dead, but something inside me to only better.

So I put out the candle and climbed out the window and chin down the light and rod and started out the Jim's place.

For Jim at a hair ball as big as your fist, which had been took out of the four slumming of an ox,

and he could do magic with it.

There's a fear inside when the news emptying up.

What you want to know now, huh?

Think about the path.

Pretty considerable.

Well, let me see. Let me see.

What this fear done say.

He say, he say, oh, follow, don't know yet what he wants to do.

Sometimes he's expected to go away and then again he's expected to stay.

Best ways to rest easy and let the old man take it the wrong way.

But Jim's all right.

You want to have considerable trouble in your life and considerable joy.

Sometimes you're going to get hurt and sometimes you're going to get sick.

But every time you want to get well again,

he wants to keep away from the waters as much as you can and don't run or risk.

He says down in the builds, which is why to get hung.

Thank you, Jim.

It isn't everybody can rest easy and know for sure he's going to be hung.

I was kind of low-spirited next morning and I went down to the front garden and clump

over the style where you go through the high board fence.

There was an inch a new snow on the ground and I seen somebody's tracks.

I didn't notice anything at first, but next I did.

There was a cross in the left heel boot made with big nails to keep off the devil.

Then I knew.

And that night when I lit my candle and went up to my room,

there sat tap his own self.

Surprise, baby.

Yes, what is it?

Stars close.

I think you're a good deal of a big boat, isn't it?

No, I don't.

How's it coming under your lip?

I put on considerable many frills as I went away.

I'll take it down and pick it before I got done with it.

You're educated too, because really, right.

You think you're better than your old man now, don't you?

He can't.

Take it out of here.

Who told you you could marry such high food foolishness?

Who told you you could?

The weather. She told me.

Oh, what are you?

I told the weather she'd have put in her shower bathroom and another business.

Nobody never told her.

I learned how to pedal and look here, you drop that stool here.

I learned people to bring up a boy and put on his own.

Pappy?

You know, that's that young man on the wall.

Well, it's a picture of the widow game.

It's just a little old picture.

That'll do for that.

I'll give you something better than that.

I'll give you a call.

Ain't you a sweet scented down there?

A bed.

A bedcute.

Lookings like a piece of copper in the floor.

Your puppies got to sleep with their hogs in a tanker.

I never seen such a sun.

But I'll take some of them.

Well, sorry, before I'm done with this.

And there is no end to your hands.

You say you're rich.

Is that so?

Oh, I ain't got no money.

That's a lie.

Yes, yes, it's done.

You get it.

I want it.

I ain't got only a dollar, no one.

It'll make no difference what you want it for.

You just shell out.

Well, you can have the dollar, man.

I can have the dollar.

There you go.

Bet your bottom dollar.

I'm going to have more than that.

I'm going to take you with me.

In that ditch, that's it.

And you're with the toughest ones.

You're bad enough they can come get you.

Because there's a law that says a child belongs to his parents.

They want you.

They're going to pay plenty of me.

Understand that?

Are you coming over your past?

I'm not going.

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, no, pet my gently.

Don't you think you need a minute to recover, Huck?

You know, you just got hit in the kid you're a child.

Wow, exactly.

I'm all right.

I think you'll better let me take over for a little while.

You don't aid for anybody, Mr. Wells.

You just want to read some of Mr. Twain's book yourself.

Well, old man Finn took Huck over to the Illinois Shore

at an old log hut where it was wooded.

There was no house for this hut.

A place where the timber was so thick you couldn't find it.

If you didn't know what it was.

He'd lock Huck in, go off of the gun,

which he'd stolen some place and get game and fish and trade him for whiskey

and fetch it home, get drunk and lick Huck

and then reach for the jug again, saying he guessed he'd add enough

in that jug for two drunks and carry him treatment.

And he had, too.

It's all just as Mr. Twain says.

But I finally food, Papp, and I got away.

I was as scared of being followed.

I didn't want nobody knowing where I was.

Papp or the wooded Douglas were just that sure nobody.

So I just buy it at my time.

I had an old saw hit out and when Papp was gone,

which was considerable,

I'd hack away at the boards of the cabin

till I made a hole big enough to get through.

And one day, Papp went away in town to get drunk.

I found an old canoe and hit it up to creekaways.

But it was the wild hog I caught in the marshes that gave me my real idea.

It was pretty good.

If I do say it myself,

only I did wish for time sorry to be there.

I know he'd taken an interest in the business

and where I added some fancy touches.

What'd you do, Huck?

Ain't you going to let me tell?

Of course I was just asking.

Well, here's what I did.

I shot the pig and fetched it in and made it on the floor of the cabin

and hacked into his throat with an axe

and laid him down on the floor to bleed.

Then I dragged him clear down the river bank,

leaving a trail all along the way.

I pulled out some of my hair and blood of the axe good,

stuck it on the backside,

and after hacking up the cabin considerable,

I slung the axe in the corner.

And when I was done,

I caught a swore and had been a murder committed.

And I was dead.

And then sticking the pig in the sack,

I jumped in the canoe and took off down the stream.

Well, Huck followed the river for a couple of miles or more,

and the further he got along to that river scene,

stretching miles and miles and miles it seemed.

Moon was so bright, he could count the drip logs

that went as flipping along black and still,

hundreds of yards out from shore.

Everything's dead quiet,

but to look late.

Smell late.

You know how it is.

The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down

and you're back in the moonshine.

And how far a body can gear on a water such nice.

I had to lay it all in the self.

Thinking about all and both was cruising about

looking for my brown body.

And me, lying within shouting distance.

It is Ryan's sea crest here.

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It was about three days later that I saw fires through the trees

and a man laying on the ground.

It was Miss Watson's gym.

Hello, Jim, I says.

Hello, Jim.

Don't you hurt me?

Don't hurt me, do.

I ain't ever done no harm to a ghost ghost.

I always liked dead people.

You don't know what I could for them.

You can go and get on back in the river again

where you belong.

And don't you do nothing to old Jim.

There's all of you friend.

I'm not dead, Jim.

That's what you say.

Well, if I was dead, could I say it?

No, for 10, Jane.

If I find out she is, I'll quick attend.

All right, Jim.

How you come to be here?

Maybe I may not tell.

Why, Jim?

Well, there's reasons.

But you wouldn't tell on me if I was to tell you.

Would you hurt?

Plamed if I would, Jim.

I believe you, huh?

All right.

I don't know.

You run off.

Jim.

Mind you, you said you wouldn't tell?

You know you said you wouldn't tell, huh?

Well, I didn't.

I said I wouldn't.

And I'll stick to it.

Honest engine.

Well, I ain't going back there anyway.

Thank you, huh?

Well, look at him.

Young boys coming along.

Finally y'all are two at a time in life.

What about them, young birds?

Oh, there's a sign that's going to rain.

Well, maybe it is.

Maybe it isn't.

But I'll catch some of them.

You can't.

You can't, you mustn't.

That'll be death.

A lot of things are bad luck, aren't they, Jim?

Yeah, you can't go against signs.

It looks to me as though all the signs

was about bad luck.

Aren't there any good luck signs?

Might if you.

Dana used to know about it.

What you want to know what good luck's going to come for?

Won't keep it all.

If you've got hairy arms and a hair breast,

it's a sign that she's going to be rich.

Now, there's some use in a sign like that.

It's so far ahead.

If you've got hairy arms and a hairy breast, Jim,

it was to use the exact question.

Don't you see our hands?

It's raining, Jim.

It'll surprise me.

I see the signs.

That's for me, child.

Chicken's no one is winery.

So did the bird.

We've got to get a lot of these.

We'll get some great war.

I know a cabin of yachts will be here.

Well, it rained for 12 days.

The river went on rising to live,

went clean over the banks and one day

to caught a little section of a lumber

after just big enough to hold all their things

of which they had considerable by now.

Even some women's clothes they found in a deserted shack

along the river.

And the 15th day of the rain stopped.

I reckon I'd step over the river, Jim,

and find out what you're going on.

That's the rest of my idea, huh?

But you've got to go in the dark and look mighty sharp.

How about them women's clothes?

How about them, Jim?

Do I look like a girl?

He looks like the most big for you.

And with that sun-balling on your head, tied, tight down,

seeing your face be like looking down

in the giant of a stove pipe.

Want to be sure you don't hitch up your dress?

What do you mean?

Oh, he's in your bitch's pocket.

Well, then, thanks, little girl.

Come here.

Thank you, ma'am.

And what might your name be?

Sarah Williams.

Where about do you live in this neighborhood?

I know.

In Huckabee, a seven-mile spot.

Well, it's a considerable way to the upper end of town.

You better stay here all night.

Take off your bind.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'll rest a while, reckon, and then go on.

I ain't afraid of the dark.

Oh, you've got plenty of excitement around here.

A young boy called Huck Finn was killed the other day.

For a while, some people thought that he's on-pathed it.

Most everybody thought of it first.

He'll never know how naive he'd come to get lynched.

But before night, they changed around.

And judge it was done by a runaway slave, main gym.

Why he?

What was you going to say?

Nothing, ma'am.

Are they after him?

Well, you're an innocent.

Is $300 laying around every day for people to pick up?

Some people think he ain't far from here.

No.

I'm one of them.

But I ain't talking around.

What did you say your name was?

Mary Williams.

I thought you said it was Sarah when you first came in.

Oh, yes, my dear.

Sarah, Mary Williams.

Mary.

Sarah's my first name.

Some calls me Sarah.

Some calls me Mary.

I see, Sarah, Mary.

I wonder if you do a favor for me.

Anything you say, ma'am.

Hold this ball of yarn for me.

Here, catch.

Oh, oh, Shucks, I didn't mean to talk with men.

Just as I thought.

Now, what's your real name?

Is it Bill or Tom or Bob or what?

Well, please, don't poke fun a little girl like me, ma'am.

If I'm in the way here, I can now you

can tell me your secret.

And trust me, I'll keep it.

And what's more, I'll help you.

What's your real name now?

George Jones Hoy's got, ma'am.

Well, try to remember it, George.

You do a girl-tolerable poor.

Bless shit, child.

When a girl tries to catch anything in her left,

she throws her knees apart.

She don't clap them together the way you did when you

catch that ball of yarn.

Now, try to long, Sarah, Mary Williams, George, Jones,

Hoy's right.

And if you get into trouble, you send word

to Mrs. Judith Loftus, which is me.

And I'll do what I can to get you out of it.

Thank you, ma'am.

You've been overhand.

You pointed a grenade, didn't you?

Watch that.

I mean to a little boy.

And he ain't never going to forget it.

Thank you, ma'am.

If I'd been in your spot with that woman, Huck, I think I

could have done better, but we'd just forget about that.

You could not have done better, Mr. Wells.

Even Tom Sawyer couldn't have done better.

I said we'd forget about it.

For days, Huck and Jim on the raft

slid down the waters of the Mississippi

bombed for caro at the bottom of Illinois.

They traveled at night laying up along the Missouri shore

and eight times.

Mornings before daylight, Huck had slipped into a melon patch.

It'd be nice and cool for that breakfast,

and it lays through the day swimming a little maybe early.

Huck had show off his education.

He'd read to Jim out of a book they'd picked up

in one of their excursions.

Considerable in this book about kings and dukes and pearls.

Mr. Wells, how much do you king get?

Get?

Why?

They get $1,000 a month if they want it.

They can have just as much as they want.

Everything belongs to them.

Ain't that gay?

What they got to do, Huck?

They don't do nothing.

They just sit around.

No?

Is that so?

Yeah, they just lazy around or go hawken.

Or other times, when things is dull,

they fuss with the parliament,

and if everybody don't go just so,

he wax their heads off.

But mostly, they hang around the harem.

Round of weeks?

Harem.

What's the harem?

The place where a king keeps his wife.

Don't you know about the harem?

Solomon, oh, he had about a million wives.

Oh, yeah, that's so.

I didn't forget it.

A harem's a boon house, I reckon.

Most likely, there was a rack of the times in the nothing.

There's other kings, Jim.

There's Louis XVI that got his head cut off

in France long ago.

And there's a little boy at the dolphin

that would have been king, but they took him for him in jail.

And some say he died there.

Poor little fella.

Some say he got out and got away.

And he come to America.

That's good.

Well, he'd be put in Lonesome.

They ain't no kings yet.

Is that up?

No.

Then he can't get no suggestion.

What do you want to do?

Well, I don't know.

Some of them gets on the police,

and some of them learns how to learn people, how to talk

Prince.

Well, up don't the Prince people talk the same way we

does?

No, Jim.

You couldn't understand a word they say.

Not a single word.

No, no.

I'll be doing busted.

How did you do that, come?

Well, I don't know, but it's so.

I got some of the jabber out of a book.

Supposing a man was to come to you and say,

Polly Boo, Fran Z.

What would you think?

I wouldn't think nothing.

I'd take him and bust him over the head.

I wouldn't lie to nobody calling me that.

Shucks, it ain't calling you anything.

That's only saying, do you know how to talk Prince?

Well, then, why wouldn't you say it?

Well, he is, he's saying it.

That's a Frenchman's way of saying it.

What's a plain, ridiculous way?

I don't want to hear them all about it.

Ain't no sense in it.

Look ahead, Jim.

Does a cat talk like we do?

No cat don't.

Well, then does a cow?

No cow don't even.

Well, does a cat talk like a cow or a cow talk like a cat?

No, it don't.

Well, it's natural in the right for him

to talk different from each other than Ain't it?

Cool.

And then the Ain't it natural in the right for a cat

and a cow to talk different from us?

Why most surely it is.

Well, then why ain't it natural in the right

for a Frenchman to talk different from us?

You answer me that.

Is a cat a man, huh?

No.

Well, then, they ain't no sense in a cat talking like a man.

Is a cow a man?

Or is a cow a cat?

No, she ain't never a man.

Well, then, they ain't got no business to talk like

either one or the other.

Is a Frenchman a man?

Yes.

Well, then, then, blame it.

Why don't you talk a lot of man?

You answer me that.

Well, Hock and Jim judge three nights more,

bringing inside of the lights of Carro,

where the Ohio River comes in.

They could sail a raft, get on a steamboat,

and go way up the high amongst the three states where

Jim would be safe, and they'd be out of trouble,

so the three days and three nights, they floated on.

Hock and Jim alternating on watch.

See most of the dozen times, one of the other

from the surface, all the lights of Carro,

but every time it turned out to be nothing,

but a little settle, not a settle,

but then suddenly, on the evening of the fourth day.

Huh, what's the worry now, Jim?

Them lights are we on.

All day, it's the many lights, Jim.

We've been pulled apart.

It's Carro.

Yeah, it's the lights of Carro.

Huh, we'll save, huh?

We'll save.

Jump up, crack up your heels.

That's the good old carro in there.

I know it is.

Find it, Jim, I reckon you're right.

Look at them lights, Jim.

They're up like a Christmas tree.

I'm going over a jacket to no one's seat.

Cut me floated.

Yes, you have, Hock.

And here's my cookbook for my model.

Are you being more comfortable that way?

Let us go, Jim.

Goodbye, Hock.

Ah, you ghost.

You too, Hock.

The only white gentleman that ever kept his promise to old Jim.

Well, that was quite a tribute, Hock.

I guess so, Mr. Wells.

Only I was getting the sicker and the sicker.

I didn't know what to do.

It was my bond and duty to miss Watson

not to help her run away slave.

But Jim had always been mighty good to me.

And his last word seemed kind of to,

well, it'd take all the tuck out of me.

I went along slow, not knowing what to do.

Right then, along comes a skip with two men in it, with guns.

Hey!

What?

What's that floating y'all there?

He's a rat.

In midnight?

Only once, sir.

Well, as five slaves were all tonight up the under,

but the head of the men, your men white or colored.

Well, people fight.

He's white, Mr..

All right, boys.

You see any one of my slaves?

You've got help, never.

You can make some money by it.

Bye.

Goodbye, sir.

I won't let no one away slaves get by me if I can help it.

Well, they went off, Mr. Wells.

And I got aboard the rap, feeling bad and low,

because I know very well I've done wrong.

And I see it won't know you just need to try and learn

to do right.

A body that don't get started right when he's little.

Well, he just ain't got no show.

Then I thought of him, and I said to myself, hold on now.

Suppose you had done right.

Suppose you had done right and give James up.

Would you have felt better than what you do now?

Well, I was stuck, I couldn't answer that.

So I reckon I wouldn't bother no more about it.

But after this, always do whichever comes handy

at the time.

You are listening to the Campbell Playhouse presentation,

the Huckleberry Finn, produced by Austin Wells

and starring Jackie Cooper.

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Race to Chumba, Casino,

and the King.

You are listening to the Campbell Playhouse presentation.

The Huckleberry Finn produced by Austin Wells

and starting Jackie Cooper.

Tyler Redick here from 2311 Racing.

Victory Lane?

Yeah.

It's even better with Chumba by my side.

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This is the Columbia Broadcasting Festival.

And now Austin Wells resumes our Campbell Playhouse presentation

of Huckleberry Finn, starting Jackie Cooper.

Well, sir, two or three days and nights went by.

I reckon I might say they swam by.

You'd better let me take over a while, Huck.

I'm sure you're tired.

Well, I'm not tired, Mr. Wells.

I'm sure you're tired, Huck.

Two or three days went by.

I reckon I might say they swam by.

They went along so quiet and smooth and lovely.

Some monstrous big river down there,

sometimes a mile and a half wide.

Huck and Jim would run at night and hide daytime.

Nearly always in the dead water under a toehead

and cut young cocklewoods and willers

and hide the raft with them.

They'd slide into the river and have a swim

so as to freshen up and cool off.

And then they'd sit down in the water

where it was about knee deep and watch the daylight with them.

Not a sound anywhere.

Perfectly still.

Just as though the whole world was asleep only,

sometimes the bullfrogs and cluttering.

Maybe now I'm in a rath, sliding by.

Please, Mr. Wells.

All right.

Then one morning, about daybreak,

I took the canoe and crossed over a chute to the main shore.

I wanted to get some berries for Jim's and my supper.

Just as I was passing a place for a kind of a cow path across the creek,

it comes a couple of men tearing up the path as tight as they could foot it.

And I hang on to a couple of the rathiest,

fattest carpets you ever did see.

Boy, boy, save us save us hide as you guys can them boy.

If you don't let us in, it can be the same as bird.

Quick boy, quick, you can hear them after us.

Let us in.

Jim, Jim, grab a hold of the canoe.

Oh, my boy, you will never regret it this year, good deed.

No, sir, eat.

My boy, you have saved the lives.

Two lives, young men, two lives.

Don't you two know each other?

Not till we just met on the way, so to speak.

What got you into trouble, brother?

Well, sir, I've been selling a little article to take off the tarda from the teeth.

And it does take it off, too.

And generally, the enamel, all of it, but I stayed about one night longer than I ought to.

What about you, Bob?

Well, I've been running a little temperance survival, and that's how I'm about a week,

but somehow or another little report got around last night that I had a way of putting in my time with a jug of the sly,

and a fella routed me out the morning, told me the people was gathering on the quiet with their dogs and horses,

and they'd be along pretty soon, and give me about half an hour a start, and then they'd run me down if they could,

and if they got me, that's hard for the main right now, and a rail shore.

So I didn't wait for no breakfast, I went hungry.

Say, I'm reflecting we might double-team it together. What do you think?

I ain't in the spores, sir. What's your line?

Print a bike, right? Do a little patent medicines?

The other actor, tragedy, you know? Take a turn at Mesmerism and Phonology,

and then there's a change occasionally, teach singing, geography school for change,

sling Alexa sometimes. Oh, I do a lot of things. Most anything that comes handy, as long as it's not work.

What's your name?

I've done considerable in the doctrine way in my time, laying on a hand, as my best told,

preaching to and working camp meetings and missionaries in the realm.

Dear, dear, dear, last lap.

What are you last about?

To think that I should have lived to be leading such a life and be degraded down in such comfort.

My down your skin ain't a company good enough for you?

Yes, it is good enough for me, it's as good as I deserve.

Well, who fixed me so low when I was so high? I did, I did it myself.

I don't blame you, gentlemen.

Ah, from it. I don't blame anybody. I deserve it all.

Let the whole world do its worst.

One thing I know that somewhere there's a grave waiting for me.

The world may go on just as it's always done. Take everything from me.

Loved ones, property, everything.

But it can't take away my little old grave.

Someday I'm gonna lay down and forget it all.

My poor broken heart will then be at rest.

I ain't blaming you, gentlemen.

I brought it upon myself. Yes, it did. I did it all myself.

Eh, brother, brought you down from where?

Where was you brought down from?

Ah, you wouldn't believe me. The world ever believed.

So just let it go, let it go. Let it pass, let it pass, no matter.

Ah, the secret of my birth, secret of your birth.

You mean to say, brother, you mean to tell me?

Gentlemen, I am going to reveal it to you for I feel that I may have confidence in you.

I write, gentlemen, I am a Duke.

A Duke? No, you can't mean it.

Yes, my great-grandfather, the eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater,

fled to this country about the end of the last century to breathe the pure air of freedom.

Married here and died, leaving his son his own father dying about the same time.

The second son of the late Duke sees the titles in the estate.

The infant, real Duke, was ignored.

And I am the lineal descendant of that infant.

I am the rightful Duke of Bridgewater gentlemen, and here am I.

A lot torn from my highest state.

Oh, brother.

I did by men, despised the cold world, ragged aboard, heartbroken,

and degraded to the companionship.

Oh, fellas, oh, brother, brother.

Oh, no, no, don't go crying there, Mr. Duke.

I'm powerful, sorry for you.

Thanks, I hope she's there.

It helps to help some.

If there's anything we can do, they help you now.

Well, now, if you were to bow to me when you speak or call me your lordship,

I wouldn't mind.

That I wouldn't mind if you'd call me plain Bridgewater.

Because after all, that's a title, not a name.

Of course, your lordship.

Then if you want to wait on me in a time, not to die.

I like it, but it's what I've always been used to.

You hear that, Jim?

I reckon I'll have to learn you to say,

would your lordship like a dink of water right now?

It'll be necessary.

Would your lordship like a dink of water right now, sir?

That is good.

You've got the idea, fine.

I'm a threat to say, brother, but you ain't the only man who said troubles like that.

No?

No, you ain't.

You ain't the only person that's been snaked down wrongfully out in a higher place.

No?

No, you ain't the only person that's had a secret of his birth.

Hey, hey, hey, hold on.

What do you mean?

Build water?

Can I trust you?

To the bitter death.

The secret of your being.

Come, man, speak.

Build water?

I am the late Duffin.

You are the late what?

Yes, my friend.

It is too true.

Your eyes is looking at this very moment on the poor, disappeared Duffin.

Louis the 17th, son of Louis the 16th, and Mary Antony.

Oh, for you?

At your age?

No, no, no.

You mean you are the late Charlemagne.

You must be six to seven hundred years old at the very least.

Trouble has done it, too.

Trouble has done it.

Trouble has brought these grey hairs and this premature bolt to gesture.

You see before you in Blue Jeans and Visitor.

The wandering exile trampled on and suffered rightful king of France.

Six king of France?

The son of the king of France.

The king of France by now.

And if you want me to feel a bit easier and better, if you were to get on one knee when you spoke to me.

You know, always call me your majesty.

You know, always wait on me first at me.

What?

And don't sit down in my presence until I ask you.

Then help a lot.

Yes, sir.

Your majesty.

Why?

Why should you be so fresh?

What's this about sitting down in your presence?

Now, Bill's water.

Bill's water.

We oughtn't to fight.

My father was very friendly with your great grandfather and all the other dukes of Bill's water.

They was a good deal thought of by my father and was allowed to call the palace considerable.

Bill's water?

Now, don't call me Bill's water.

Break water.

Bridge water.

You or I should be friend.

Well, I am all right.

Very well, your majesty.

Yes, you're great.

Like it's not we're going to be together a flame long time in this voice.

Right, brother.

So what's the use of our being sourd?

Mm-hmm.

Only making some comfortable.

It might fall a warrant born a king, is it?

Take your fault, you warrant born a duke.

So what's the use of curry?

Make the best of things the way your finances are.

That's my motto.

My true brother.

This ain't no bad thing that we've stuck here, you know?

You're a brilliant brother in easy life.

Come on, give us your hand, king.

Come on, let's be friends.

Friends?

No, I'm perfect.

No, I'm forever.

No, I'm forever.

Change.

Yeah.

What is it, Bill's water?

I got some plans hatching in my head.

You know, there's a revival meeting just to blow down the river, please.

And I've got a hand friend to tread the boards again.

I can teach the king here, my friend, some of the fine rudiments of acting.

Bill's water?

I've been looking at your hand bills.

You'll be in character, young girl, jewelry lane London.

And I think maybe there's as much to be made out of this play act in business.

Isn't it?

The revival meeting.

Anyways, I'm just a freezing for some pressure.

Well, fallen graduate.

The first good turn we come to.

We'll just hire a haul and do the sword fight for Richard's third.

And in the balcony scene, we'll do a remiss.

She won't be old and sure yet.

Of course, I always have to do my specialty there.

So let me be from Hamlet.

Well, that's all right by me, Duke.

But right now, I've got a hand friend for bed.

They went tonight and I'm playing up with this exercise.

I'm in Hamlet.

What do you say we turn in?

Well, if I've listened, young host will show us the beds and questions.

I'll be willing to join you in not turn or repose your matches bill for the day.

Well, there's only two beds.

Yes, sir.

Jim's and mine.

Mine's a bit better at being a straw-tick and Jim's is a shoftick.

Well, there's always cobs in a shoftick.

Well, now, sir, I just take your bed.

Ah, your grace, Bill's water.

I reckon the difference in rank would have suggested to you as a corn shoftick.

Well, it's just bitten for me, sleep on.

Your grace will take the shoftick.

I will not.

Oh, yes, you will.

Oh, no, I won't.

Bill's water.

Yeah, all right, your grace.

Hmm.

Well, it seems to be my fate always to be ground into the mine under the heel of oppression.

This fortune has broken my one salty spirit.

I yield.

I submit.

This is my fate.

I'm alone in the world.

Let me enjoy my suffering.

Let me alone to suffer.

Go away, go away, go away.

Go away.

Ladies and gentlemen, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

This way, one night only.

The world will be known for Gideon's daily character, young women, and keen the elder.

Of the Royal Haymarket here, a white chapel, building line, thickly daily London.

London station and London, England.

In their sublime, Shakespearean revival,

Step by this way, ladies and gentlemen.

Listen to him, let's him order so that we, by the illustrious character,

Don't buy him 300 mark in 300.

Can't set you the knight's in Paris.

In Paris, France, Gabriel is in Gabriel.

Here for one night only on a condom in Paris in European engagements.

Step by the parry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,

This way, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Listen to him, let's him order so that we, by the illustrious character,

Don't buy him 300 mark in 300.

Can't set you the knight's in Paris.

This way, one night only on a condom in Paris in England.

This way, one night only on a condom in Paris in England.

This way, one night only on a condom in Paris in England.

This way, one night only on a condom in Paris in England.

To be all nuts to be.

This is the bear, but in that mix of limited so long life.

For who would father bear?

You better want to come to Germany.

There's the respect must give us falls.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time?

Your presence wrong.

We'll search your view on and customize suits of solemn black.

But that the undiscovered country from which poor note revel returns.

Three is fourth contagion of the world.

And thus the native view of resolution.

Like the poor cat in the adage.

He's sickly at all with care.

A consummation devoted to beware.

But soft you.

The pair Ophelia.

Open up thy ponderous and marble jaws.

What gets thee to a nunnery?

Make up.

And damn thee, he who first cries hold.

Enough!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

I suck that to the end, Mr. Wells.

Because then ain't often you get a chance to hear the greatest poet to ever written, recited as smart as all that.

But when they started to do it the fourth time, I kind of figured I'd got everything worthwhile out of it already.

So I thought I'd go.

Particularly when I noticed a lot of people on the outside of the crowd would buck a sitar in their hand.

It wasn't going to be healthy around there in a little while.

That weren't hard to see.

So I beat it out and made it just as quick as I could down to the river to where I'd let Jim in the wrath.

Hey Jim, set her loose, Jim.

We're all right now.

I ditched him.

We're shut of him.

Jim.

Hey Jim.

Jim.

Jim, where are you?

Jim.

Hey boy.

Hey you.

Hey you.

Hey you know anything about a slave that was dressed in brown pants and a blue shirt, one sleeve fur off?

Four.

Where about?

Down the silas filth place.

Somebody catched him.

Catched him.

Said he was a runaway slave.

Who knew Orleans?

Where's the filth place?

About two miles down the way.

Hey, he's got a corner back on his.

I didn't wait to answer Mr. Wells.

I was too full of trouble.

Full as I could be.

Loosen Jim that away.

And I knew they weren't.

But one thing to do.

Light out for the filth place and just trust a look.

I must say my luck held out.

Dan, this is life.

And you'll keep still and maybe fly a time.

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Good morning, ma'am.

Is this the palpest place?

It is, but...

Well, land alive.

It's you who last ate it.

Well, mom.

I wouldn't have known you.

You don't look much like your mother's a wreckage of wood.

Did you get your breakfast on the boat, Tom?

Yes, I got it on the boat.

We've been expecting you for days, Tom.

We'll catch you.

We'll get it ground.

Yes, mom.

Where's your brother's head?

Said mom?

Yes, didn't he come with you?

No, mom.

Said didn't come.

Well, he was supposed to.

Hey, Sally.

A boy came in here.

Well, there's your uncle now.

What do you mean, Sally, as the boat ain't coming in?

Well, it did.

It just come.

Who's that?

I'm sensor.

I mean, Tom.

Yes, sir.

Tom saw it.

And who's that?

Who is who?

Coming up the road there.

Who's that?

Excuse me, ma'am.

I didn't mean what I said.

I'm said.

What?

Well, then, who's that?

Well, you reckon it is.

I ain't got no idea.

Who is it?

Tom Sawyer.

Just one minute, Hawk, did you say Tom Sawyer?

And Sally said Tom Sawyer.

Tom Sawyer?

Oh, Tom Sawyer?

Well, there ain't never been, but one Tom Sawyer.

That's right, Hawk, what's going on?

Well, you can imagine, Mr. Wells,

by this time I was so confused, I'm most slumped through the floor.

But if the old man and the old woman were joyful,

it weren't nothing to what I was.

But it was just like being born again.

I was so glad to find out who I was.

I had only one worry now.

That was to get to Tom before he got to the farm

and tell him the way of that.

Whoa, boy.

Whoa, whoa, now.

Hold on there, Tom Sawyer.

Stop him and huckle first, bitch.

What do you want to come back and have me for?

I ain't come back, Tom. I ain't been gone.

All this engine, you ain't a ghost?

No, I won't ever murder it at all.

I played it on him just to get away from Pat.

You come here and feel me if you don't believe me.

I reckon you're real all right, all right, Tom.

There's something going on here.

Nobody don't know it but me.

And that is, there's a slave here that I'm trying to steal out of slavery.

And his name is Jim.

Ole Miss Watson's Jim.

What?

What?

Jim, I know what you'll say.

You'll say it's dirty low-down business.

But what if it is?

I'm low-down and I'm going to steal him

and I want you to keep mum.

Not let on.

Will you?

I'll do more than that, Hawk.

I'll help you, Stephen.

Where are you reckon, Jim?

In a little cabin, just back at the barn.

You mean in that little old shed?

Yep, it's as easy as pie, Stephen, on the body out of there.

Yeah, that's the trouble.

This whole thing is just as easy as can be.

That's why that makes it so rotten,

difficult to get up a difficult plan.

You gotta invent all the difficulties.

Now, you gotta have a rope platter

and you gotta shunny down it and break your leg in a moat.

You know, I wish there was a moat to this.

You know, if we get times the night of this capable dig one, huh?

But what if we, or what do we want of a moat

when we're going to sneak Jim out from under the cabin?

No, wouldn't do.

Yeah, there ain't necessity enough for it, huh?

Necessity enough for what?

Why did saw Jim's leg off?

Good, Lam.

Why do you want to saw his leg off for any way?

Well, some of the best authorities has done it.

They couldn't get the chain off,

so they just cut their hand off and shunned.

And a leg would be better still.

So we let it go.

But he could have a rope platter

and we'll tear up our sheets.

What in the nation can he do with a rope platter?

Do with it.

He could hide in his bed, Tanny.

That's what they all do.

And he's got a tube.

How could you don't ever want to do anything this regular?

Well, all right, Tom.

Fix it your own way.

But if you'll take my advice,

you'll let me borrow a sheet off in the clothesline.

And borrow a shirt, too.

What do we want of a shirt?

Put Jim to keep a journal on.

Channel your granny.

Jim can't write a book.

I suppose he can't write.

He could make marks on the shirt, Tanny.

If we make him a pen out of an old pewter spoon

or a piece of old iron barrel hoop

or a best candlestick or something.

And orderly make ink with it.

Iron lost and pierced.

But that's the common sort.

The best authorities use their own blood.

Jim could do that.

And when he wants to send any little common order

in their mysterious message

to let the world know where he's captivated,

well, he could write it on the bottom of a tin plate

with a fork and throw it out the window.

The iron mask always done that,

and it's a blame-good way, too.

Jim ain't got no tin plates.

He said feed him in a pan.

But we'll get him something.

Can't nobody read his plate.

I didn't got nothing to do with it.

I've been always got to do it

to write on the plate and throw it out.

You don't have to be able to read it.

Why have to Tanny can't read anything

of prisoner rights on a tin plate or anywhere else?

Then what's a sense and waste in the plates?

Why blame it all it ate the prisoner's plate?

Well, it's got to be somebody's plate, ain't it?

I reckon we'll have to dig him out with our case knives, then.

Tom, there just ain't no sense in using case knives

to dig Jim out in that cab.

Well, you wouldn't want us to use shovels, will you?

It's too easy.

But Tom found it is foolish, Tom.

Don't make no difference how foolish it is.

It's regular.

It just got to be done this way, Hawk.

Sometimes it takes weeks and weeks and weeks forever and ever.

A one prisoner dug himself that way out of the castle

deep in the harbor of Marseille.

How long was he out at your reckon?

I don't know.

Thirty-seven years.

And he come out in China.

But Jim don't know nobody in China.

Listen to this better.

Don't betray me.

I wish to be your friend.

There is a desperate gang of cutthroats

from over in the Indian territory going to steal your runaway slave tonight.

I am one of the gang that have got religion and wish to quit it

and lead an honest life again and will betray the foolish desire.

Well, then everything's all right.

They will sneak down from Northens along the fence at midnight

with a false key and go in the slave's cabin again.

I am to the offerpiece and blow a tin horn if I see any danger.

But instead of that, I will bar like a sheep

so that they get in and not blow it all.

Then for us, they're getting his chains loose.

You slip there and lock the men and can kill them at your leisure.

Don't do anything but just the way I'm telling you.

If you do, they will suspicion something

and raise hook jammery who.

I do not wish any reward but you know I have done the right thing.

An unknown friend.

Silas, you've got to do something.

But what, Sally?

Oh, we've got to get help, Silas.

Round up men from the village with guns.

Bring them here at once.

Sally, don't.

Tana.

Tana.

Tana, Tana.

What is it?

The house is full of men with guns.

Yeah.

Is that so?

She ate that boy.

How many?

Most 100.

Why hopped at him?

If it was over to do again, I bet I could fetch 200.

She, if we could put it off now, where's Jim?

Where'd he go?

You all set?

All right.

Now we'll slide out and give the sheep signal.

Now run for it.

Careful, Tana.

That's a fence.

Hurry, Jim.

Come on, Doc.

I caught my pants on the splinters.

I will save you.

Here we are.

You're in there, too.

We've got to try and make a hut.

There ain't no other way.

Here we are.

Turn your hill.

Go on, go on, Tom.

Don't find me.

Yeah, you'll find me back up.

Come on.

Ow, Tom, Tom.

We'll talk.

Well, I'll be bloated, but ain't the young ones.

You mean, ma'am, these are your kin folk?

Yes, the rascals.

What a muck, ma'am.

That's it.

I'm out here.

I don't even know what's all about.

What you're gonna lay, eh?

We'll shut up this time when you can't get away.

Don't get adopted.

Quick.

Tom's been shot in the leg.

Hurry, Tyler.

You can't shut Jim up.

You can't answer.

He's a sprayer.

He's not out of his head.

Whatever does the child mean?

I mean, everywhere I say it, Sally.

I've known him all his life.

I'm sure, ma'am.

What do you know in the notion

you're talking about?

It's all about you.

That's him.

That's Sally.

He ain't seen it.

Oh, it's no use now.

We might as well throw the two talk.

I'm Tom Sawyer.

But this year is Huckleberry Finn.

Huck Finn.

Well, I never.

Not singing.

Huck was dead.

Huck.

I didn't tell you.

But Ole Miss Watson passed on away two months ago.

She sat Jim free in her will.

Then what on earth did you want to set him free for?

And me seeing he was already free.

Well, now that is a question I must say.

And just like a woman,

I huck her me one of the adventure of it.

Now, we'd have been willing to wait

next deep in blood for it.

Well, I reckon I ain't seen such scams in all my years before.

Land takes the life.

Yeah, now.

What I tell you?

What I tell you up there, Jackson Island.

I told you I got hair, breasts,

and what to sign on it.

And it's come true.

And here she is.

Donna, don't talk to me.

Signs is sign.

And I love a thing, Huck.

You're papping, coming back anymore, Huck.

What's that, Tom?

They found his body floating in the river.

So your money is all yours now, Huck.

All yours and shit for everything.

A happy ending.

Hey, Huck?

Well, that depends on what you call happy Mr. Wells.

Well, I should say you all ought to be happy.

Well, that's just it.

You should say.

It just so happens that I'm Huck a very thin.

And Mr. Twain wrote the book about me.

And I'm the one to say.

All right, Huck.

You say.

Well, Tom's most well now.

He got his bullet around his neck on a watch card for a watch.

And he's always seen what time it is.

So there ain't nothing more to write about.

And I'm a rotten glad of it.

Because if I don't know what trouble it was to make a book,

I wouldn't attack it.

And ain't going to know more.

But I reckon I got a light out for Indian territory pretty soon.

Because Aunt Sally's going to stop me and civilize me.

And I can't stand it.

I've been there before.

I've been there before.

You have been listening to the Campbell Playhouse presentation of Huck a very thin.

Produced by Orson Wells and starring Jackie Cooper.

In just a moment, Mr. Wells and his guest players will return to the microphone,

meanwhile, one quick reminder.

You'll be serving soup frequently these early spring days, won't you?

I'm sure you will.

And in letting Campbell's make your soup for you, as I hope you will,

may I suggest you think often of Campbell's chicken soup?

You'll find its full rich chicken flavor will delight everyone at your table.

They'll enjoy to the fluffy rice and tempting pieces of tender chicken meat

that help to make this chicken soup of Campbell's so home-like and taste and good nourishment.

Have it tomorrow, why don't you?

If you will, then I know what you're very first spoonful.

You'll understand why I say, just as sure as you like chicken,

you like Campbell's chicken soup.

And I'll let you in, gentlemen, Orson Wells and his guest.

Ladies and gentlemen, the app is endless to Jackie Cooper.

Good evening.

Say, I'm sorry about that little misunderstanding we had over who was to read the book.

That's all right, my boy.

Quite all right.

And Mr. Cooper, ladies and gentlemen,

turned back to calendar a few years tonight.

In movies, as you know, he's just done himself very proud over the Caramond lot

in Booth, Tarkington's 17.

Till next Sunday night, and as to Benny and June Moon,

my sponsors, the makers of Campbell's soups.

And all of us on the Campbell Playhouse remain as always.

We'll begin for yours.

The makers of Campbell's soups join Orson Wells

in inviting you to be with us in the Campbell Playhouse again next Sunday evening

when we present Jack Benny in June Moon.

In the meantime, if you've enjoyed tonight's Playhouse presentation,

won't you tell your grocery store tomorrow when you order Campbell's chicken soup?

This is Ernest Chappell saying thank you, and good night.

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