Can You Let It Be Easy Now?

0:00You finally got what you asked for, the deadline's gone, the projects delivered, their space and your calendar that wasn't there three weeks ago. So why does it feel wrong? Why does a quiet afternoon make you more uneasy than a demanding one ever did? Why do you find something to do the moment nothing needs doing? And what would it actually take to let this be as easy as it's supposed to be? So this episode explores that question. How can you let it be easy now? Welcome to Project Joyful, the podcast for Health Centre Leaders. Project Joyful is the space for conversations at the intersection of leadership, health and lived experience. Here we explore what it means to lead and ways that honour your body, protect long-term capacity and support a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

1:02This episode is part of the Biology of Leadership Series. In this series, we explore leadership through your body, not as a performance to optimize or a mindset to fix, but as a biological experience, straight down this line. Leadership doesn't just live in decisions, strategies or roles. It lives in your nervous system, and how responsibility is held, and how reliability and care that quietly organised your body, long before your consciousness is met. These conversations offer leaders who are capable, trusted and effective, and who are curious about how leadership is experienced internally, not just how it performs externally. There's nothing you need to do as you listen, no insight you need to apply. This is simply an invitation to understand what's been shaping your experience of leadership, and need this service, and what's become possible when biology becomes a part of the conversation.

2:05Let's begin, shall we? You get to your desk at the same time that you always do. Laptop open, coffee down, same as any other morning. Except there isn't anything waiting for you, no red flag sitting on top of an email chain, no back-to-back, you need to prep four in the next ten minutes. The calendar that's been solid, block after block for three weeks, well it's got gaps in it today. You open your inbox anyway and you scan it top to bottom for the thing that needs you first. There actually isn't one. You scroll again in case you missed it. There's something I should be doing. You don't know what. You sit there hand still near the keyboard, looking at a Tuesday that's got space in it, and instead of exhaling into it, you go looking for what you've missed. You look at your task list. It's not empty.

3:06There's a review due on Friday, a paper to start for next week, an email that you've met to send for the last couple of days. So there are real things, things that you'd normally already be halfway through by nine on a Tuesday. You look at it and something doesn't quite compute. Not that you don't want to do it, more than none of it registers as something that you need to do right now. It just sits there, we're on a screen, a list of things that could belong to someone else. Three weeks ago, you'd been moving before you'd finished reading it. That's not what happens today. You read it again and nothing in your response, the way everything used to respond. There's a specific feeling that's missing. And you know exactly what it is because you've been running on it for three weeks straight. That charge. The thing that used to get you moving before your coffee was even made. So you sit there in front of real work, feeling like you've got nothing on because the only thing that's actually missing

4:13is the urgency that used to make it feel like some. So for the last three weeks, that urgency had a shape that you knew really well. Nights that it ran past nine at night, a body running on adrenaline instead of rest, because there wasn't room for both. And adrenaline felt like it was the one thing that was going to keep you going through that really busy period. And then you delivered that piece of work. And so today feels like you've got nothing to do even though logically you know that you do. So it's 4.45pm. There's nothing you need to get done. You've clocked up some big hours over the last few weeks. You could call it a day. There's nothing on your list that needs finishing tonight. Nothing's waiting on the other side of the door for you the way it was a few weeks ago. But you stay anyway. Another half an hour of doing not very much. You see for the last three weeks, 4.45pm never meant the end of anything. The meant that you were roughly two thirds of the way through whatever was left for that day.

5:15Some part of you still running on that timetable, even though the work behind it has gone. Today isn't three weeks ago. The part of you sitting in this chair hasn't caught up to that yet. There's a more specific explanation for what happened over those three weeks than your nervous system got used to stress. Your brain's a prediction machine. It's constantly, quietly running forecast of what's about to happen. And it's based on what's happened before. And it does it so it can meet a threat before the threat arrives. Your hypothalamus takes in what's happening around you and it makes a fast call. Safe or unsafe. And it sends that straight here in McDola, part of your brain built to react before your rational mind gets a vote. And that sequence is fast and it's fast on purpose. It has to be, but it wouldn't be doing its job. For three weeks, that sequence had a clear pattern to run on. Demand, urgency, someone waiting on you.

6:18Your system built its whole forecast of what a normal day looks like around that pattern. Because that's what a prediction machine does with repetition. So here's what actually explains that flat Tuesday. Your nervous system alive means same. It isn't wired to ask whether the unfamiliar is good for you. It's wired to notice that it's unfamiliar and treat that as something to check. Regardless of whether the change is something that you consciously want, the quiet calendar and an actual threat can trip the same alarm. Because the alarm was never built to tell the difference between them. It was built to notice them this week. And once that alarm goes off, something has to happen to quiet it. And the fastest route, backed quiet, is the pattern your system already knows how to run. So you stay the extra half hour doing not very much. Your system reaching for the one thing it knows will settle that alarm. Manufacturing exactly the demand that's missing.

7:18And there's something underneath even that. For three weeks you knew exactly who you were at that desk. Someone needed an answer from you and you had it. Someone needed the work done properly and you were the one who did it properly. You knew exactly what was required and you knew how to deliver it faster than most people in the building. That's not just a job description. That's a way of knowing who you are. And it goes quiet. Who are you when nothing urgently needs something from you? You build the skill you're running on right now. The same way anyone builds any skill by repeating it under real conditions. Often enough that your system stopped treating it as effort and started treating it as who you are. Years of being handed something messy and making it clean. Years of staying precise under pressure that would flash most people. Years of knowing what needed to happen next before anyone had to ask twice. You built that one demanding week at a time. The same way a body builds any capacity that it uses often enough.

8:22The skill of holding the less gets built the exact same way. Wanting it doesn't build it. Waiting for a quiet enough week doesn't either. The same mechanism that trained your system to expect demand can train it to expect ease. It just needs the reps. And right now you've had years of one and probably almost none of the other. Here's what a single rep actually looks like. So it's 4.45pm. The list is done or it's done enough. You close the laptop and you leave on time while some part of you insists there's something you've forgotten. You don't stay to find out what it is. Let the discomfort travel to the car with you unresolved instead of settling it with rifling through the drawer or checking your inbox one more time. And that discomfort that's the actual rep. It's what it feels like the first maybe the 10th maybe the 50th time that you ask a well trained system to run a pattern that doesn't recognize yet.

9:29Now gets quieter with repetition the same way anything does because eventually your system stops flagging 4.45pm is a mismatch. And it starts recognizing it is simply what happens now. Do that enough times and something starts to shift. Your system logs enough evidence that a quiet Tuesday doesn't cost you anything and the alarm gets quieter. 4.45 stops being a decision it starts being just the time you leave if that's appropriate. Underneath that something else settles too. The question from earlier who are you when nothing urgently needs something from you. It stops being a threat and it starts having an answer. You're the same person precise capable exactly as good at your job as when you are carrying more to mind. Except now none of that depends on someone needing it from you today. So can you let it be easy now. Your system stabilises first or it compensates.

10:31That's what the extra half hour was doing not very much. A system compensating doing something anything. So it didn't have to sit inside a mismatch. It hadn't learnt to trust you. You don't talk a system out of that. You work with it directly at the level it's actually running. And that's exactly where Revitalised starts. Revitalised is my private one on one coaching experience. It's 18 weeks of teaching and coaching with the actual nervous system and identity structures underneath how you lead. It's not another framework, it's not more strategy. So if any part of you today put you inside your own quiet Tuesday. You can find out more at tracytutty.com or slash Revitalised. I'm sending you lots of love. Bye for now.

11:45If you want to hear more from the project joyful podcast, just click the subscribe button. Bye for now.