Charles Stanly - True Friendship

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What kind of person are you drawn to?

What kind of person motivate you?

What kind of person spurs you on?

What kind of person encourages you?

What kind of quality must be found in someone

that makes your life a greater challenge

inspires you, motivate you, sturs you,

and gives you an even greater desire

to become and do what you want to be or to do?

In today's social media culture,

what it means to be a friend has been redefined.

Casual acquaintances and sometimes even complete strangers

now carry the label friend,

a title that used to be reserved for close companions.

But today on In Touch, the teaching ministry

of Dr. Charles Stanley,

we'll see a different description of true friendship.

As we look at one of the most incredible bonds

in all of the Bible.

Let's listen in to Dr. Stanley's message.

First Samuel 18, I wanted to read the first four verses,

one through four of chapter 18.

And you'll recall at this point,

David has just killed Goliath

and standing out there with the army somewhere

was Jonathan.

And the scripture says in verse one,

and it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking

and to Saul that the soul of Jonathan was knit

with the soul of David.

And Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

And Saul took him that day and would let him go no more

home to his father's house, that is the Jesse.

Then Jonathan and David made a covenant

because he loved him as his own soul.

And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe

that was upon him and gave it to David.

And his garments even to his sword

and to his bow and to his girdle.

Now tonight I want to talk about genuine friendship

and I want to talk about the three aspects

that are involved in true friendship.

And if I should ask you tonight,

how many of you have at least one genuine,

I mean absolutely genuine super friend?

How many of you could raise your hand?

All right, some of you could,

but half the people in here could not.

Well, let me ask you this,

how many of you think you've ever been

one of those absolutely super genuine friends

to someone else, less people could raise their hand?

The reason all of us couldn't raise our hand

the first time is because a few of us

could raise our hand the second time.

Because in order to have a friend,

the Bible says we must show ourselves friendly.

And what I'd like to do is to take you through

this aspect of David and Jonathan's life

because it is a beautiful concept of friendship.

And I think there are three things

that are absolutely essential to any genuine friendship.

So I want you to get a pencil out

in case you want a friend.

Or if you want to be a friend to somebody

and keep your Bible open

because I want us to go right through these scriptures here.

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I've got good news and bad news.

Here's the bad news.

Most protein bars are packed with sugar

and unpronounceable ingredients.

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To see what are those three qualities

that are found in genuine true friendship.

And it may be that as you examine

these scriptures tonight,

you might have to ask yourself the question,

have you ever been a real friend to someone?

Now all of us talk about our friends,

but they're different levels of friends.

There are many of them out there,

how's it whether how you're doing,

come about to see me glad to see a church kind of a deal.

But that's not true friendship.

Then there are those over here

that do we talk to a little bit more often

and say a little bit more intimate things.

And then there are a few more up here,

but then there's just such a very, very few,

maybe one or two up here real close

where you can open your heart,

bear your whole soul to that person.

Well, I think that's the kind of friendship

that is described here in the relationship

between Jonathan and David.

So three things I want you to jot down

several under that.

First of all, the first quality that is to be found

in real true friendship is respect for one another.

If two people do not respect each other,

they will never be a friend of one another.

If that's a husband or wife, they may be married,

but they'll never be friends.

If it's two people who work together in business,

if they don't have the kind of respect that is essential,

they'll never be true friends.

Respect for one another.

Genuine heartfelt respect for one another

is absolutely basic and essential of friendship.

And I want you to watch how that developed

in the life of Jonathan and of David.

So let's go back to the 14th chapter of First Samuel

for a moment and let me just to show you something here

because there I believe are at least about four bases here

of respect that develop between Jonathan and David.

And the first one is this,

that they had a mutual respect for each other

as great warriors.

Now, several things I've noticed about friendships

and that's this.

That oftentimes the person who is the most famous

in a friendship, the other person usually gives the most.

And that is true in this friendship.

As you read the life of Jonathan and David,

what you're gonna find here,

I'm gonna show you at the last point here,

the one who almost always is doing the given is not David.

And of course, he is the most famous of the two

and he's the one, of course,

who became the king of Israel.

He's the one who slug a lot.

But I want you to notice something here

that the friendship that developed here,

developed on the basis of a mutual respect for two men

who were equally, I believe, great warriors.

Because before David slug a lot,

Jonathan performed a feat equally as great if not more so.

So chapter 14 begins,

it came to pass upon the day that Jonathan,

the son of Saul, said to the young man that bore his armor,

come and let us go over to the listing garrison

that's on the other side.

But he then tell his father was gonna happen.

So he tells all about where his dad and so forth were.

And verse six says,

and Jonathan said to the young man that bore his armor,

come and let us go over to the garrison

of these uncircumcised.

Now listen, it may be that the Lord will work for us,

but there is no restraint to the Lord

to save by many or by few, he says, now look.

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You and I'll just go over and challenge the whole crowd.

Because God could save, by you and me,

Jonathan to his armor bearer,

or he could save by minute.

He says, with God, it's no big deal.

He can save Israel by using the two of us

or using the whole army.

So what they do, they slip over there.

And they decide they're going to use old strategies.

So they decide that they will make themselves known.

They'll show themselves to the Philistines.

And he says in verse nine,

if they say thus to us,

tear it until we come to you,

then we'll stand still in our place

and we'll not go up unto them.

But if they say come up unto us,

then we will go up for the Lord

have delivered them into our hands

and this shall be a sign to us.

So they showed themselves.

And the Philistines said,

come on over and we'll show you a thing or two.

That's exactly what he says.

What they said.

Jonathan and his armor bearer

killed at least 23 of them.

And in fact, it sent such a fear among the Philistines.

They just went flying everywhere.

Then when Saul heard about it,

he said, well, who's fighting the Philistines?

So they had to count off one, two, three, four.

Everybody's here except Jonathan and his armor bearer.

So what happened that day,

Saul and the rest of his army

finished up what Jonathan and his armor bearer

made a tremendous dent in.

They killed 23 within an acre, the Bible says,

wiped him out, set the whole crowd fleeing.

Now, Jonathan was a tremendous warrior.

On the other hand, when Goliath challenges

the nation of Israel,

Jonathan was there.

Now somebody says, well, why didn't he speak up?

I don't believe he was God's will from the speak up.

I don't think it was because Jonathan

was afraid of Goliath.

And it may have been that he was looking Goliath over

and sizing him up and trying to figure out

exactly what he would do.

And David may have beat him to it.

I don't know, and nobody knows the answer that.

But I can tell you, I don't believe Jonathan

was afraid of Goliath.

If he and his armor bearer would tackle

a whole host of Philistines with the faith,

who knows, there's no restraint with God.

He can take on the whole crowd, two of us,

our whole army, I am confident he wasn't afraid

of a big old bully named Goliath.

So here, two men who are equally respectful of each other.

So I'm sure the Jonathan was there the day

that he watched young David walk out there

and listen to him make that beautiful speech of confidence.

I'm gonna cut off your hair.

I'm gonna slay you today.

I'm gonna feed you to the file

because the whole world of the Jehovah God of Israel

is the God of the world.

I believe old Jonathan was standing back

and saying, that's exactly right, Amen.

Tell him, David, give it to him.

When you've been saying that,

had you not been one of those scared soldiers?

Jonathan wasn't afraid.

So they had a mutual respect for each other

because both of them had performed equally

as great a task as soldiers.

Each of them had equal valor when it came to fighting.

There's the second basis of that.

And that is they each had a mutual faith in Jehovah God.

Both of these men tackle their enemies

not in order to heap praise upon themselves.

They went to battle in the name of Jehovah God.

So you can imagine what developed between these two young men

as they saw these qualities.

Now, you know, when you have a quality within you

that gives you some sense of satisfaction,

some sense of builds your self esteem

and some sense of accomplishment,

then you see that in somebody else.

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That just does something for you.

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To people who have the same desires,

the same devotions that you have,

you're drawn to people who have goals equaler bigger than yours.

And sometimes I see somebody that I think may be struggling in life.

But when I find out what their goals are,

I want to get under their shell and say, come on,

buddy, and let me help you reach your goal.

So all of us are drawn to certain types of people.

And what you have to ask yourself the United States,

what kind of person are you drawn to?

What kind of person excites you?

What kind of person motivates you?

What kind of person spurs you on?

What kind of person encourages you?

What kind of quality must be found in someone

that makes your life a greater challenge

inspires you, motivates you, stirs you,

and gives you an even greater desire

to become a do what you want to be or to do?

Well, I believe these two men found that in each other.

A mutual respect for each other.

And I want to say again,

you'll never develop a friendship with someone

whom you do not respect.

So if you and I want to build genuine friendships,

the first thing we have to do is to find something

in the other person that elevates our respect for them.

It may be their walk with the Lord.

That may be all that you need

to develop a friendship with someone.

Or it may be that you see in them

character qualities that you want in your life.

But you see all of us need friends.

We need deep, intimate, soul friends

with whom we can bear our whole inner being,

with absolute faith and trust in their confidence

to be true to us.

All of us need deep friendships.

And I want to say to you folks who are young people,

you ought to find somebody with whom you can develop

that kind of friendship.

First of all, mutual respect for another.

Secondly, an emotional love toward one another.

Genuine friendship involves not only mutual respect

but a mutual love for one another.

And I want you to notice several scriptures here

beginning in this 18th chapter

and how that love, the Jonathan and David

have for each other, is expressed

and then how it's demonstrated.

Listen to the love that he expressed.

Chapter 18 verse 1, it came to pass

when Saul and David had made it into their speaking

and Jonathan was there,

that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David.

Now the word knit in the Hebrew means

to chain two things together.

It means to be one.

It speaks of unity and harmony.

It speaks of, it's like pouring molasses

out of two buckets into the same barrel.

Man, you can't ever separate it, no, which was which.

God poured those two men's hearts together that day

and the scripture says

that the soul of Jonathan was knit

and I want you to watch something in this.

Going through this passage almost every time

Jonathan takes the initiative.

To my knowledge, it's never David.

Jonathan always takes the initiative in the friendship.

Now watch, the soul not updated

but the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David

and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

And he took him that day, Saul took him that day

when no more let him go home to his father's house

so he lived in the house with Jonathan and Saul.

Then Jonathan and David made a covenant

because he loved him as his own soul.

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And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him,

gave it to David and his garments even to his soul,

to his bow and to his girl.

Now, remember who he is.

Here is the king's son.

Here is the prince.

The one who is heir to the throne of the nation of Israel.

What is he doing?

He's taking the initiative in this friendship.

They made a covenant with each other.

And then Jonathan took off his robe,

gave it to David and his garments even to his soul

and his bow and his girl,

of which was an indication of saying,

here's what it was saying.

David, everything I have is yours.

When you're in need, I will protect you.

When you have a need, I'll give to you.

David, you can always count on me.

The third thing that is essential in a true friendship

is a mutual commitment to one another.

There must be a mutual respect for one another,

a mutual love toward each other and a mutual commitment toward one another.

Now, that's where a lot of friendships break down.

We want to be friends as long as it doesn't require anything

and there is no such thing as cheap friendship.

Friendship is expensive.

It divided his family, but it remained true to his friend

because they'd made a covenant of friendship.

You know, when friendship is based on genuine law, it doesn't give up.

Now, you can't be a friend to everybody.

You can be to some degree a friend, a lot of people,

but you won't be an intimate friend,

but to a very few people in your life.

The more secure you are,

the more your own sense of inner stability and strength

and security and self-esteem,

the stronger you are on the inside,

the greater your capacity to be a genuine friend to more people.

Well, let me ask you this.

Would it not be a word that challenged for you and me

to single out at least one or a few people

to whom you and I would be genuine friends?

If you read the life of Jonathan David,

you'll understand it requires humility.

Anything about every exhibit that Jonathan did.

Loyalty, Jonathan dead, faithfulness, Jonathan dead,

determination, Jonathan dead,

a heart of love, Jonathan had it.

Taking the initiative, Jonathan did it.

Mutual respect, mutual love, mutual commitment.

That's the price of genuine friendship.

The Bible says there's a friend that's

ticketed closer than a brother.

Jesus respects you and me

as creations of He has created in His own image.

He's expressed love toward us

unequiled by any other law there's ever been.

And He made a commitment to you and me

that's eternal and its consequence.

If you've never been saved,

you have deprived yourself

from being the friend of the one

who will always take the initiative as long as you live.

All of us need Jesus Christ as our friend.

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And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people,

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Thank you, dear God, for allowing the Holy Spirit to record this story

of this beautiful friendship between Jonathan and David.

Thank you for helping us to see

that Jonathan was certainly not one in the shadow of David.

But both men equal in so many ways.

And Father, I pray tonight in Jesus' name,

you'll have to do it because you are the motivator.

Would you so work in our lives to create the kind of desire

in the behalf of someone else that each one of us who know you as our Savior

and our Lord in their life would be willing to pour our life into someone else.

And it just might be the person we will in the poor our life into

to maybe the stronger in the friendship.

And we may get more poured back into us

than we ever dreamed we could pour out.

Thank you for friendship that it can grow with every passing day and every passing experience.

Then Father, I pray for somebody who's listening, who's unsaved.

Help them to see that Jesus Christ is man's greatest friend.

Always taking the initiative, loving us with a love that's unexcelled and unsurpassed,

having committed himself to the cross,

to our resurrection, to our eternal life with him in heaven.

There's no friendship to equal that.

And to spurn that, to reject it, to deny it, to refuse

the expressions of friendship taught us is the grossest of all sin.

So Father, I pray that somebody deny it but step out realizing

they've spurned the love, the commitment and the respect of the greatest person who's

ever lived who wants to be their friend.

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paid for by the Electronic Payments Coalition.

A new deal was the biggest deal.

I think that's the best thing that's going to happen in the future.

That's the biggest deal.

This is a big deal.

But it's not that.

The main issue is how many여es can they do that.

So they're not to pay for their money.

That's what we know about that.

So this is a big deal.

But the legal thing is that they need to pay for their money.

Because the paypal is just as big as a credit card.

And then the price or revenue will be $2 billion.

But when the market goes?

They need to pay.

But when the market goes?

They need to pay for their money.

But when the market goes?

Paid for it by the Electronic Payments Coalition.

Warning, the following Zippercruder radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F words.

When you're hiring, we at Zippercruder know you can feel frustrated.

For Lauren even.

Like your efforts are futile.

And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people.

Only to get flooded with candidates who are just... fine.

Fortunately, Zippercruder figured out how to fix all that.

And right now, you can try Zippercruder for free.

At zippercruder.com slash zip.

With Zippercruder, you can forget your frustrations.

Because we find the right people for your roles fast.

Which is our absolute favorite F word.

In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercruder get a quality candidate within the first

day. Fantastic.

So whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people,

get ready to meet first rate talent.

Just go to zippercruder.com slash zip to try Zippercruder for free.

Don't forget that zippercruder.com slash zip.

Finally, that zippercruder.com slash zip.

And they've denied him that right.

And then they each one of us would count the cost and be willing to die

to our selfish self.

In order that someone else may become stronger because of our friendship as my prayer,

in Jesus' name. Amen.

You're listening to In Touch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

You'll have no better friend than Jesus Christ.

And that eternal connection begins the moment that you trust in him as your Savior

and receive his forgiveness.

You can learn more about what Jesus did on the cross for you at in touch.org.

And listen again to this message by clicking today on radio on our home page.

Open our online bookstore if you'd like to order a copy of today's complete message.

We've called it true friendship.

It's also included in our pursuing God's heart teaching set.

Our web address is in touch.org.

Our caller text us at 1-800-INTouch.

You can also write to us at in touch, post office box 7900,

Atlanta, Georgia 303-57.

You'll hear more thoughts on being a committed friend just ahead in today's moment with Charles Stanley.

We're not the first to seek a life of purpose.

The Bible tells of many who followed a specific path step by step with courage,

with surrender, for a deeper purpose, a stronger passion, a lasting peace.

Introducing your path to purpose, passion and peace.

A new 90-day devotional inspired by the timeless teaching of Dr. Charles Stanley.

Abelable now at in touch.org slash store.

The peace of God is tranquility and quietness of the soul.

It is the assurance that no matter what's going on around us, everything is secure.

Peace is not determined by circumstances.

Neither is it a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.

In a world filled with noise and uncertainty, you can discover peace that cannot be shaken.

Get your new, free booklet, peaceful and still.

A guide to experience God's rest in an anxious age.

Visit intouch.org- slash-peaceful.

From the pastor's heart is an in-depth teaching letter,

inspired by the teachings of Dr. Charles.

Warning, the following Zipper Cruder radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F words.

When you're hiring, we at Zipper Cruder know you can feel frustrated.

For Lauren, even.

Like your efforts are futile.

And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people.

Only to get flooded with candidates who are just...

fine.

Fortunately, Zipper Cruder figured out how to fix all that.

And right now, you can try Zipper Cruder for free at zippercruder.com slash-zip.

With Zipper Cruder, you can forget your frustrations.

Because we find the right people for your roles fast.

Which is our absolute favorite effort.

In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zipper Cruder

get a quality candidate within the first day.

Fantastic.

So, whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people,

get ready to meet first rate talent.

Just go to zippercruder.com slash-zip to try Zipper Cruder for free.

Don't forget that zippercruder.com slash-zip.

Finally, that zippercruder.com slash-zip.

Warning, the following Zipper Cruder radio spot you are about to hear

is going to be filled with F words.

When you're hiring, we at Zipper Cruder know you can feel frustrated.

For Lauren, even.

Like your efforts are futile.

And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people.

Only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine.

Fortunately, Zipper Cruder figured out how to fix all that.

And right now, you can try Zipper Cruder for free at zippercruder.com slash-zip.

With Zipper Cruder, you can forget your frustrations.

Because we find the right people for your roles fast.

Which is our absolute favorite F word.

In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zipper Cruder

get a quality candidate within the first day.

Fantastic.

So whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people,

get ready to meet first rate talent.

Just go to zippercruder.com slash-zip to try Zipper Cruder for free.

Don't forget that zippercruder.com slash-zip.

Finally, that zippercruder.com slash-zip.

Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well,

trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Sure, you can post your job to some job board.

But then, all you can do is hope the right person comes along.

Which is why you should try Zipper Cruder for free.

At zippercruder.com slash-zip.

Zipper Cruder doesn't depend on candidates finding you.

It finds them for you.

It's powerful technology identifies people with the right experience

and actively invites them to apply to your job.

You get qualified candidates fast.

So, while other companies might deliver a lot of, hey,

zippercruder finds you what you're looking for.

The needle in the haystack.

See why four out of five employers who post a job on Zipper Cruder

get a quality candidate within the first day.

Zipper Cruder, the smartest way to hire.

And right now, you can try Zipper Cruder for free.

That's right.

Free at zippercruder.com slash-zip.

That zippercruder.com slash-zip.

Zipper Cruder.com slash-zip.

Call Stanley to receive in touches from the pastor's heart letter.

Call 1-800-intouch or visit intouch.org slash pastor's heart.

You're listening to Intouch.

If you feel like you don't have much to offer a friend,

first Samuel 23 reveals something believers can always do for their friends.

Here's a moment with Charles Stanley.

Look if you will in chapter 23.

Look in verse 15.

David saw that Saul was come out to seek his life,

and David was in the wilderness of Zip in a wood.

And Jonathan saw Son of Rose and went today that into the wood

and strengthened his hand in God.

Now that's a friend.

Commitment says that when my friend is down,

I want God to use me to strengthen his hand in the Lord.

How many times have your friends and my friends or our friend

wanted to three or four?

How often has our friend been at the point of utter desperation

and we've been too busy to strengthen his hand in the Lord?

He said, well, you know, I just don't have all the resources to be a friend.

What a minute.

It didn't say that he gave him any money.

Didn't say that he gave him a horse,

chair it, no, he says he strengthened his hand in the Lord.

There's not a one of us who cannot strengthen somebody else's hand in the Lord.

Commitment says when my friend is down,

I'm going to get down there with him,

and I'm going to stay with him until I get him up on his feet,

spiritually, mentally, emotionally, back on track,

confident that God is working things out of his life.

That's real friendship.

Learn more about the hope you can have through faith in Jesus Christ at intouch.org.

Has the good news of the gospel changed your life?

If this program has been part of that journey, we'd like to know.

Next week on Intouch, covenant is one of those words that isn't used very often

in today's conversation.

But you can learn what it means and why it's important

when we continue our study of first Samuel on Intouch,

the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

This program is a presentation of Intouch Ministries at Lanna,

Georgia, and remains on the station through the grace of God

and your faithful prayers and gifts.

Access to affordable credit helps me pay my employees

that I don't really need it.

Infliction is killing me!

Who cares? Big retailers are making record profits!

That's why we support the Durban Marshall credit card bill!

See, things in credit unions help small businesses make payroll.

This bill would cut the vital resources they need.

While increasing Megastore profits, they deserve it.

Don't they?

Tell Congress, stop the Durban Marshall money grab for corporate megastores,

paid for by the Electronic Payments Coalition.

Warning, the following zippercruder radio spot you are about to hear

is going to be filled with F words.

When you're hiring, we at Zippercruder know you can feel frustrated.

For Lauren, even.

Like your efforts are futile,

and you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people,

only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine.

Fortunately, Zippercruder figured out how to fix all that.

And right now, you can try Zippercruder for free at zippercruder.com slash zip.

With Zippercruder, you can forget your frustrations,

because we find the right people for your roles fast,

which is our absolute favorite F word.

In fact, four out of five employers who post on Zippercruder,

get a quality candidate within the first day.

So whether you need to hire four, 40, or 400 people,

get ready to meet first straight talent.

Just go to zippercruder.com slash zip to try Zippercruder for free.

Don't forget that's zippercruder.com slash zip.

Finally, that zippercruder.com slash zip.