Chasing Physical Pain and Discovering Tenderness with Margo Steines

“Your identity and your life is lived through your body”

In a time where many of us find ourselves disconnected from our bodies, Margo Steines relentlessly chased physical pain. As she recalls in her gripping memoir “Brutalities: A Love Story”, Margo pursued extreme experiences—drugs, sexual violence, and abusive relationships—as avenues to escape psychological discomfort and to feel alive.

Throughout this episode, Margo shares her ever-evolving relationship with her body from working as a professional dominatrix, to an ironworker, and later as a writer and mother, the latter of which revolutionized her relationship with her body. It is a profound conversation on identity evolution, mental health, family dynamics, self-love, and what it means to be human beings living within physical bodies in this confusing modern world. Join us as we discuss:

1. Margo’s path to pursuing pain through sex work and BDSM
2. The power of aging and how it allows us to uncover profound truths about ourselves
3. Nature vs. nurture and how inherent traits and environmental influences shape our identities in different ways
4. The lasting impact of childhood experiences in shaping adult behavior and coping mechanisms
5. The interconnectedness of body and identity and the transformative effect of motherhood
6. The importance of ongoing self-reflection, growth, and embracing the fluidity of identity

OUR GUEST: Margo Steines holds an MFA in nonfiction writing from the University of Arizona, where she is faculty in the Writing Program. Her work was named Notable in Best American Essays and has appeared in The Sun, Slate, Air Mail, Brevity, Off Assignment, The New York Times (Modern Love), the anthology Letter to a Stranger, and elsewhere. She is the author of the memoir-in-essays ‘Brutalities: A Love Story’. Margo is a born-and-raised New Yorker, a journeyman ironworker, and serves as mom to a small person. She is also a private creative coach and writing class facilitator. You can read more about her practices at margosteines.com.

Want more Margo? Find her online at https://www.margosteines.com and her book HERE. Take her writing classes at https://www.margosteines.com/classes

Follow Margo on Instagram @redstateblues and Twitter/X @margosteines

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