CO-HOST | Make Money by Changing Your Identity

0:00Trading at Schwab is now powered by a merit trade, bringing you an expanding library of education with even more ways to sharpen your trading skills. Access new online courses, insightful webcasts, articles, engaging videos and more all curated just for traders. Plus, guided learning paths with content designed to fit your unique interests, no sifting to find exactly what you need so you can spend your time learning to trade brilliantly. Learn more at Schwab.com slash trading. You're listening to the Travis Makes Money Podcast. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Travis Makes Money Podcast. I'm not your host, Travis Chapel. This is his producer, Eric. And today on the show, I'm going to be sharing a clip from a guest appearance that Travis made on the Truth About Addiction Podcast. And in this particular episode, Travis talked a little bit about his weight loss journey, how he had gained a lot of weight, you know, fresh out of college, newly married, working in sales and drinking and eating and how really negatively impacted his health. And he

1:05talks about adopting a new identity regarding his fitness journey. And it's why I thought this episode would be so relevant to you. Listen to Travis Makes Money Podcast. Obviously, this is about fitness, but deeper than that, it's about mindset. He even talks about an example of thinking for a long time, he wasn't a reader and he hated reading. And then he realized that he was putting that identity on himself and how he kind of changes mindset in that area. So if you're somebody looking to transform an innovative mindset into something positive and to have a new perspective or outlook that's going to fuel you on your journey, rather than hinder you, this episode is for you. So stay tuned for this clip of Travis Makes Money Podcast. Let's get into it. The thing that I would encourage most people to do is understand that your identity will not completely, your new identity will not be completely adopted without any action, even if that action is opposed to the way that you currently identify.

2:10That makes sense. So like, I give you a positive example of like a group as an athlete. And that's why it was I think easier for me to like jump back into that athlete mentality because it was like, I know what it feels like to work out. I know what it feels like to sweat to push your body past its limits to like to feel. I know what that's like because it would be much more difficult to lose weight if you just grew up being overweight your entire life. Like that would be more difficult because you have to adopt adopt the brand new identity that you've never had any experience adopting before. That's what makes it difficult. But another example was that growing up, I was never a reader. It was to the degree where like my entire Lee would kind of poke fun at it and not in like a terrible way. I'm not like, you know, whining about being bullied or whatever. That wasn't really like how it was. It was just more just like, oh yeah, my sister was the reader. I was the athlete and like I didn't read and she didn't play sports. And that's how it was. You know, and so people would get me books that they that my family would try to get me books that they thought would be interested in like athlete books or sports books or whatever.

3:10And I just didn't I hated reading and I adopted and I adopted this identity of like, man, I hate reading. I hate reading. I hate reading. And I just said it all the time and just became like, oh yeah, I'll book on I hate reading. I don't want to read that. You know, just like became this part of who I was. And then I got into this world of podcasting world, the person development world, self-help world. And I kind of forced myself to start reading even though I did not like the activity, even though in my mind, I hated it. My identity was I hated it. It was like, I know this is good for me. Let me just like force myself to do it a little bit more. And I started listening to more audio books. I started reading actual physical books. I started listening to more podcast. And then a couple of years later, I found myself somebody was saying I was like, oh yeah, I hate reading. I just said it like normally. And I like looked back at the past and I was like, I've gone through like 70 books in the last two years. Like I am not yeah, no, I am a reader. I enjoy reading like I enjoy learning like I like it was it was a it was a weird identity thing for me because it was just like this is something I've always identified as. And even though currently I still don't view it as like I am an avid reader because because I view like I look at people like my sister who just they get

4:13such a thrill and such enjoyment and pleasure from reading that makes me be like they're a reader. I just read because I know it's good for me. But it's like yeah, but if you're reading 50 books a year, you're still a reader. You know, you dumbass like the turn on like come on. I mean like it's okay to adopt this new identity. But then once you adopt that identity, then it becomes part of yourself so much that you can't stop doing that activity because now it's like I tell people I'm a reader all the time. I say I read stuff and I say I'm constantly reading things like if I'm not reading something, it feels like I'm lying about who I am or who I'm presenting myself to be to the world. And so once you want like you have this current identity, you start adopting a new identity telling yourself that's who you are, then your action you start like taking action of what that identity, you know, would would act upon. And then it further reinforces itself. It's like this loop that keeps like getting stronger where you identify as this thing and because you identify as this thing, you want to engage in this activity more. And because you engage in this activity more, it further solidifies your your identity in that new action. And then which

5:15further makes you want to take more action, which you know what I mean, it's like this self-fulfilling loop that happens. And so in the with the nutrition stuff, it was basically that same thing. It was just like stopping thinking about being an athlete and stop thinking about like physical like going to the gym. I know what I'm doing. I know how to live. And it was more just like I have to I adopt the identity of somebody who engages in a healthy lifestyle, not just somebody who goes to the gym and knows how to lift weights or play basketball or a golf or do any of the things that I do for physical activity. It's like it's got to be it's got I have to take this step further to identify as somebody who who makes healthy choices. Somebody who cares about, you know, my long Jebady as someone who cares more even about like visceral fat, not just like fat fat that you can see like vanity fat. It's more about, you know, how do I live a long and healthy life so that I can maintain proper relationships and good happiness levels and not sink into depression and not let my anxiety overtake me because, you know, lack of sleep or lack of hydration and it's just that piece of it is so crucial to so many other parts of your life and so often neglected, especially in

6:20like the modern medicine age, just like we'll take this pill, take that pill, take this pill, and it's like so many of our problems and I'm not saying this is for a blanket statement for everybody because obviously there are some real issues that need, you know, some attention. But for a lot of people, it's really just a matter of like you're probably not sleeping enough, you probably aren't drinking enough water and you probably are walking enough. Like those three, if you just did those three things, I'm telling you you'd feel so much better after. Of course, at first it's going to suck. You're going to be sore from walking if you never walk or do any physical activity. You know, it's going to be difficult to force yourself to sleep if you have anxiety around sleep. It's going to be difficult to drink, you know, your body weight announces and water every day or half your body weight announces and water every day. You know, it's going to be difficult to do those things. If you never do them, you're going to have to pee a lot probably. You're going to have, you know what I mean? Like going to happen during that time. But after a little while, like you start giving your body the things that the needs from an nutritional standpoint, you feel better mentally, you feel better physically, you look better physically. There's so many things that come from that. So that was like that initial that got the ball rolling. And so I just started learning more about nutrition. I just started like throwing in a nutritional podcast

7:24into my normal, you know, learning phases, started reading a book or two about about nutrition or about longevity or health and things like that. And just figured out a couple things that were just big needle movers for me. You know what I mean? Like what are what are what's the what's the 80% of the results that I can get from 20% of the activity rather than looking at like, you know, this next challenge and what, you know, I did away with challenges. That was one of the first things. It was like, these things don't work. Like they work, but they don't work. You know what I mean? Like you're going to get if you get the results in 30 days or 75 days or two weeks or 10 days or three days or whatever it is. But then you're just going to go back to exactly where you were before. So like the challenges, you know, though they can be helpful if you've never done anything because you might it might give you the confidence that you need to attack a longer term strategy or something like that. They might be helpful for things like that. But for me at that time, it was like, I've done enough of these and I just yo yo'd weigh too much. Like that cannot be the solution anymore.

8:24It has to be something that I can do long term. The most successful business owners don't do it all themselves. They delegate. Upwork lets you build the team of highly skilled specialists for every function your business needs so that you can focus on what you do best and that experts handle the rest. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster and skill support up or down without committing to full time headcount. I don't know how many times I've used Upwork in the last I don't know, call it decades since I've started doing stuff online. But it is many, many, many, many times. And then with business plus, you can access the top 1% of talent on Upwork as well. AI powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers match to your goals and under six hours. So there's no endless searching required. It also cuts down operational hassle by handling things like contracts and payments in one place. You can spend more time running the business with over 170,000 freelancers holding five star ratings. You can hire with

9:28the confidence that comes from hiring someone with a verified track record. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's UPWORK.com. Upwork.com. So let's be honest, everybody hates bank fees, right? Well, that's where chime comes in. Chime is changing the way the people bank. They're not like traditional old stuffy banks who charge fees and gatekeep perks and rewards. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balance fees. That's right, you get 5% cash back on chime card in the category of your choice like gas or groceries, all well-building credit through regular everyday spending with absolutely no credit check. You can also grow your money faster with a savings rate that's nine times the national average. In my opinion, by itself, that makes it worth it. And if you're ever in a pinch, spot me, let you overdraft up to $200,

10:32absolutely fee-free. So join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com slash travis. That's chime.com slash travis. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank, banking services and chime card provided by Chimes bank partners, qualifying direct deposits required, terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. So for me in particular, it was more just like fasting when I travel, I fast a lot when I travel because I travel a lot and I'm a foodie. So when I travel, I like to eat at places and experience local cuisine, local beers, local, whatever, stuff like that. And so now I just like, I just don't eat as much when I travel and then I save my calories for when it matters. And then I just eat whatever I want at that point. And then at home, it's more just like a lot more cooking at home because they cook with so many other oils and things when you go eat out. And it's like, you can eat the same exact meal out. And the last stat that I heard was like

11:3425 to 30 more calories for the same meal eating out as it is at home just because of the stuff that cooked those meals in, which is pretty crazy increase. Yeah. When we think about it. So yeah, I just kept an eye on those things. The really like the big thing for me was I just did the math. Finally did the math was like, I'm allowed to eat X number of calories per day. And this is obviously simplifying it. But sometimes that's what it takes for me. So I was just like, I'm I'm burning this many calories per day, your BMR, your basal metabolic rate. There's how many calories you're going to burn just by sitting there, even if you didn't do anything. And then this how many calories I'm burning from my workout. So it's like anything less than that, I will be in a caloric deficit and I will be losing weight over time. Anything more than that, I'll be in a caloric surplus. And I'll be beginning weight over time. And obviously there's discrepancies there. And you want to fill those calories with high quality foods and all that kind of stuff. But technically you could eat a bowl of ice cream every day and be totally fine. You know, if it's less than the calories that you're then you're burning. Now, do you're going to have some really other

12:37terrible issues that happen after all your eating is a bowl of ice cream every day. But in terms of weight loss, like that's really like the like you know, like energy balance is really the main thing. And so then I started picking up different hacks along the way. Like, oh, I don't have to eat breakfast. But when I eat lunch, I'm going to fill it with protein first because that's the most satiating and it helps me maintain my muscle mass. So it was like, it kind of became what you were saying. Like for me now, it's like the reason that it's worked for me is because it's not restrictive. Yep. So like a week ago, my wife and I ordered McDonald's at like nine p.m. after we put the kids to bed. And like we got McDonald's cookies and McFlurry's and ate them and it was delicious. It was awesome. But because I knew that I wanted to cheat that night, it's like, I know that that's going to be like six to 800 calories. And I know that I'm allotted 2500 calories in the day. So if I don't want to be in a surplus on that particular day, and I know that 800 calories are coming down the pike, that means I got to get all of my protein grams in, all of my other like things that I want to get in nutrition wise, I got to get that in within 1800 calories or so for the day or else,

13:41I'm going to be in a surplus when I do this cheat thing. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's annoying a little bit because you got to keep track of those things, especially if you've never done it before. For like 30 to 60 days, I tracked everything in like an app and everything like that because it helped me understand more. So I could keep like mental notes now because now I don't track it in an app. I just keep mental notes because I have a pretty good idea of how many calories is in a certain thing. You know what I mean? So yeah, I just do that. And then then I have my junk calories that are left over. It's like, well, if I'm at 2200 calories for the day, and I know I have 2500, it's like, well, I can have 300 calories if something. And it's going to be okay. I'm not going to gain weight or look terrible or any of those things just before. I just, I didn't have anything like that. So I just did whatever I wanted, whatever I wanted. And I would put on 30 pounds and I'd be like, all right, challenge time. And then 60 days, I'd lose 30 pounds. And then, you know, four months later, it's back. And it's just that's just terrible, unhealthy, unsustainable way to to live your life, especially from an nutritional standpoint. And but that goes for any of those things. That's why I brought up the identity thing again because it's like no matter what the thing is, food, alcohol, substances, like whatever, whatever that thing is that keeps

14:46drawing you back, it's going to be a matter of like identity, shifting identity, taking action towards that new identity and then having that kind of loop on itself. Mix that a little bit with some community, some positive influence in your life, mix that a little bit with some education around different tips or tricks or different things that you can do. Like even that protein thing that I said is one for the nutrition side where I was like, oh, if I just eat eggs the first meal of the day, I'm going to feel less hungry throughout the day because just more satiating than eating, you know, carb heavy cereal or something like that. So you start picking up those different things as you continue to commit to the journey. It's just the recognition that it's going to be a journey. It's not going to happen overnight. And just because it doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't make you a piece of shit. It doesn't make you lazy. It doesn't make you a bad person. It just means that it's a process and it's a journey and we all got to go on that same journey. Okay. What's so awesome about talking to you right now and I would argue, even if this is controversial, male brain versus female brain, right? Is the way you frame all of this is very logical.

15:53You know, the identity comes first and getting clear and committed to the identity you want to become. And then you take the actionable steps in that direction, right? And that's literally true. But as a really emotional woman, especially as a recovering addict, right? My feelings feel like they're going to kill me sometimes. That's how big and crazy they are. I'm going to come in and say, the identity thing is in fact real, but it requires a sense of worthiness. If you don't feel worth especially a new identity that you have no reference point for, if you don't think you deserve that new life, you'll never embody and take the actionable steps to get there. So at the very bottom of that, that has to get treated no matter what. Okay.

16:53And the second part is that what I'm hearing you say is when you haven't had the basketball identity, right? When you have no reference point, but you're looking ahead to your future self and going, I want to be more like this identity that I really don't know anything about. There's a leap of faith that you have to take. And we didn't really use that word at all yet on the podcast. We've been speaking really logically and practically. But you have taken so many leaps of faith so that you can then have the wins stacking up where you form the new identity. So then the logic brain can come back in and go, look, you are a reader. Travis, so stop saying you're not, but there was a time when you literally were not a reader. You identified as someone who hated it, but you took the necessary steps in the darkness, not knowing whether you'd ever

17:59really become a reader or not, right? And then there's that part. So then it's a question of what is your relationship with faith, with risk taking? Because if that's a mess, you will never get to the new identity place. So I want to say that for a moment, right? Because it's complicated. And it's so fascinating that we are having such an intricate conversation about food and weight loss and healthy living and calorie counting because again, I have, I have so much in common with you. And yet where you are right now and where I am, we have a big departure from one another. And it's really important to bring this up. So to be really abridged with what is a very long story, I lost my father five years ago. And when that happened, I was so blindsided by it and had a ton of

18:59regret about the way our relationship was when he left this earth that I knew full well I needed to grieve. I was sober. I'd been in therapy forever. But I absolutely wasn't ready. So I turned to food and body. The most successful business owners don't do it all themselves. They delegate. Upwork lets you build the team of highly skilled specialists for every function your business needs so that you can focus on what you do best and that experts handle the rest. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise. So you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster and scale support up or down without committing to full time head count. I don't know how many times I've used upwork in the last, I don't know, call it decades since I've started doing stuff online. But it is many, many, many, many times. And then with business plus, you can access the top 1% of talent on upwork as well. AI-powered

19:59shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers match to your goals in under six hours. So there's no endless searching required. It also cuts down operational hassle by handling things like contracts and payments in one place. You can spend more time running the business. With over 170,000 freelancers holding five star ratings, you can hire with the confidence that comes from hiring someone with a verified track record. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is upwork.com to connect with the top talent ready to help your business grow. That's you P W O R K dot com upwork dot com. So let's be honest, everybody hates bank fees, right? Well, that's where chime comes in. Chime is changing the way the people bank. They're not like traditional old stuffy banks who charge fees and gatekeep perks and rewards. Chime offers the most rewarding fee free banking all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balance fees. That's right. You get 5% cash back

21:04on chime card and a category of your choice like gas or groceries all well-building credit through regular everyday spending with absolutely no credit check. You can also grow your money faster with a savings rate that's nine times the national average. In my opinion, by itself, that makes it worth it. And if you're ever in a pinch, spot me, let you overdraft up to $200, absolutely fee free. So join the millions who are already banking fee free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime dot com slash Travis. That's chime dot com slash Travis. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank banking services and chime card provided by Chimes bank partners qualifying direct deposits required terms and limits apply go to chime dot com slash disclosures for details. I was three months postpartum. I was going to show the whole world how I could bounce back after baby number two. Just you watch me. I picked up all the tools from the register dietician that I had gotten before. But I went so far. And by nine, 10 months postpartum,

22:05I was back at pre pregnancy weight. And then the voice in my head that isn't my truest most authentic voice. It's my critic, my addictive voice, whatever you want to call it said. I wonder how thin we can get now. And I kept going. And now I can sit and say because he passed away in 2019 for about two years. So well into 2021. I was in a raging eating disorder. I counted every calorie. I did exactly what you did figured out my basal metabolic rate figured out with the fitness watch. How many calories I was burning? Ooh, I have this much that I can consume if I want to maintain. I can cut 500 calories out a day. And after a week, I'll lose a pound because 3500 calories is one pound. Or I can go over the allotted amount. And then I'm setting myself up to gain weight. And I

23:09became an expert. And my addicted brain that is hardwired as a perfectionist. I was going to do this perfectly. So me counting calories, counting macros, measuring my food was the perfect detour from feeling my feelings and walking towards the grief. And what I can say is that it got bad. I was obsessed with it. And I thought about it all the time. And you know, two years ago, my sister died. And I was really scared, really, really scared. Not just that I might relapse and die from from that pain, but that the alternative might look anything like what happened with my father. Because I knew I could go ahead and focus on obsessively food and body. And I will say, thank God, that I turned toward my healing. And when I think back to that period of time of when

24:11I lost my dad to losing my sister, when I turned completely towards food and body, I birthed nothing new into the world. I created nothing. I silenced my intuition. And I let my ruminating, obsessive, cerebral mind just fixate on the one thing that made me feel like I had control over my world. And it breaks my heart. And I know for me when I start to count again, I mean, slowly, I now no longer wear a fitness watch, which is a really big. I am a fitness enthusiast. I am a doctor, a physical therapy, I'm a dancer. Fitness is my life. But I slowly stopped standing in front of the mirror and picking myself apart. I started abstaining from the things that were making me ruminate. I know now that when I get to that space when I'm considering, measuring again, counting again, it's because I'm scared. And I feel really out of

25:15control and powerless about something in my life. So for me, I have to be really careful that there is a balance of being super mindful about what I put in my body. I no longer call my Friday night pizza and movie night with my kids cheat night. Because what am I cheating on? I'm literally just eating something I love. I've made it softer and wider and more compassionate. My relationship with food is that I love food. I love good food and bad food. I care more about myself now and my longevity, as you said, to put really good food in my body most of the time. Thank God. I also care about myself enough to not restrict, to not measure, to not hold myself hostage, to staying at a certain weight. I've put back on weight. And if I got on a scale, by the way, I threw my scale out a couple years ago. Because a girlfriend of mine was like, you really want to change. If you still have a scale, we're talking about abstaining, right? When you stop drinking,

26:21did you keep alcohol in your house? Throw your scale away. If it's hurting you and not helping you, I haven't weighed myself in two years. If I did, I'd be in danger of restricting again. I know it. So it's really fascinating to hear where you are because there's still a rigid framework. And I wonder if there's a fear for you that if you loosened that, you might gain weight again. You know, and I think it's, I think those things can be so helpful when you have a long, long history of yo-yoing, like really getting the science behind you to go, oh, like I actually, my logic brain really gets why I keep putting the weight back on. But at some point, do you want to get rid of all that? And just coexist with food? That's a good question. I think, first of all, I think it's necessary to go through that. Like, it almost requires that pendulum shift to make you realize that there's

27:26like two extremes to this and neither one of them are healthy type of thing. Like almost nobody I've talked to that's like a fitness competitor or has been a fitness competitor is happy being a fitness competitor. You know, like it caused some sort of body dysmorphia. They were upset about something. It made them self-conscious. Like when you have a guy that gets down to 5% body fat and then all of a sudden is walking around weight is 14% body fat, he thinks he's fat. It's like, well, you're actually still within the range of being a healthy athlete, actually, not even like a healthy person. Like you're still athletic. You know, so it's like, well, you got both of, you know, but you almost had to like, you almost had to go this route to have a better like conscious idea of like, like your ability now, Samantha, like to stay in really like good shape and to stay as fit as you are currently without like having to do all that stuff. Probably wouldn't have been possible without first doing that stuff so that you have some sort of like a mental model to build this more, I don't want to say careless, but on maybe more apathetic approach to like being healthy and

28:30you're really sure with food because that's what you're describing is a very healthy one. So I think that I think that I probably come in the next year or two. Right now, I'm like, I just, I feel good and I feel like I feel I tend to not have like really high emotional highs and really low emotional lows. I tend to be really even keel like an emotional level. So I don't feel as much of like a I love this or I hate this as much as I feel like this is just how I feel I should be right now. And if it needs to change in the future, then I'm more than willing to to adopt whatever that looks like. But right now, I still think I'm in like geeking out mode where I'm like, this is, you know, this has been cool to be able to actually control what I look like rather than, you know, just be confused and frustrated and upset all the time because I don't understand why I keep getting weighed and it should I shouldn't be gaining weight. And I should, you know what I mean? So I think I think I'm still kind of in that phase. But say it's your question, you know, that's definitely something to consider. And and you know, if I find myself like getting to the point

29:31where like I'm losing sleep or I'm anxious because I ate something that I didn't want to eat or eat or whatever, you know, then that's definitely something that I should book out because I it's like all things in moderation, including moderation, you know, to me sometimes it's okay to go have that McDonald's or whatever it is, you know. I love this. This was such an amazing conversation. We didn't even get to really, I mean, we got to really current stuff about food. And I think it's so applicable to my podcast and the people listening. And I know you have so much more to share. So maybe we'll get a second interview at some point later in this year. Yeah, you know, let's do another one sometime and talk more about that belief in faith side because there's obviously a lot of that. I mean, I've gone through a dozen different identity ships in the last decade from from my departure from how I grew up and eating food and going into business without a business degree and all that stuff. So like there's a lot of stuff that we can talk about there too. So maybe we'll do a part two sometime. I would love that. And you're amazing. I love sharing this hour with you and learning more about you. It was really a great talk.

30:34Thank you so much for having me, Samantha. There's a lot of fun. Thank you Travis. I'll talk to you soon. Yes, ma'am. Bye.