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I hope you enjoy this story.
Companions sibling harassed me for two decades.
Consequently, I retaliated against her taunts,
resulting in a divide within our mutual circle
as some urged me to express regret.
However, I stood my ground and declined to do so.
Started a huge fight.
Background, my 33F, friend Beth, 34F,
has an older sister Jill, 38F,
who has hated me since we first met.
She always called me a weirdo freak
and said I deserve the bullying I got at school
because I was a such a dork.
I stopped visiting Beth's house
because of Jill and didn't see her again until Beth's 18th birthday,
where she told people that I was harassing her boyfriend.
I'd literally said hello to him and that was it,
because I was too ugly and weird to attract my own guy.
Thankfully, she moved away not long after
and I was just glad to be rid of her.
Now, Beth and I arranged a dinner reservation
with the other three in our group, Liz, 33F,
Kelly, 34F, and Megan, 34F.
This was our first real chance to see each other in over two years,
due to a number of reasons,
and we were all looking forward for a chance to catch up.
Beth offered to drive me and Kelly with her to the restaurant,
since neither of us can drive
and I have CFS and several types of chronic pain
so traveling isn't easy for me.
We caught a bus to Beth's flat together,
but it was Jill who answered the door,
which shocked us both.
Beth hadn't told us Jill was visiting
and we'd have appreciated a heads-up
since neither of us have good history with Jill.
Still, we were polite.
Kelly said hello and complimented Jill's dress,
and I said hi Jill, nice to see you, how have you been?
Jill completely ignored Jill and turned to me and said,
better than you, clearly, still a pale freak, aren't you?
I couldn't help it and snapped at her
that at least I'm not a bitter hag
still clinging to grudges I started with a 12-year-old.
Maybe it's time you grew up a bit.
Jill immediately ran off screaming for Beth
and said she's not taking us anywhere
until that CT apologizes which confused me and Kelly
because why would she be taking us anywhere?
That was when Beth came out and revealed her car
was broken so Jill was meant to be driving us
and I shouldn't have been cruel to her sister
and that's just Jill's humor.
Kelly called bullshit and said Jill is a bully
and she only surprised I hadn't snapped years ago
and told me I'd better not apologize.
I said I had no intention to.
Beth said well, you can make your own way
to the restaurant then and kicked us out.
Kelly and I called Liz and Megan to update them
and say we'd be running late since we now
had to pay for a cab and they are split.
Liz thought I should just apologize
because Beth is siding with Jill
and it would cut the tension.
But Megan thought this was long overdue and Jill had a coming
and Beth needs to accept her sister's actions
have consequences.
In the end, I refused to apologize and we got a taxi
only to find out Beth was refusing to join us
over what I said to Jill.
This was a week ago
and Beth is now refusing to speak to any of us other than Liz
who told her she said I was at fault
until I apologized to her sister.
Aida, comments.
Beth and Jill, thank you.
Liz and Beth's reactions to this whole thing
had me feel I was going insane
and Kelly and I were both really confused
about why Beth didn't warn us beforehand.
She knows our history with Jill isn't pleasant.
TBH, I'm seriously considering cutting Beth off for this
if she keeps reacting this way.
Thank you for your comment.
Writing this all out has made me realize
I have been too forgiving of Beth over the years
especially where Jill is concerned.
I think I will be cutting ties with her for sure.
Their history, thank you for your comment.
I said this in another reply, but Beth
and I have been friends since I was 12
and she was one of the few people in our year group
who didn't bully me.
Since Liz, Megan and Kelly are all friends with her as well,
it's been easier to just put up with her.
It's getting ridiculous now
and I'm seriously considering cutting Beth off for this
and just dealing with a fallout.
Who TF holds on to 30 year drama?
It's honestly bizarre, but this is exactly the same
as she acted when we were in school.
I do not understand her at all
or what she hoped to get out of this.
Nobody did anything when it was a 17 year old
picking on a 12 year old.
Yay Beth and Jill's family acting like it was harmless fun
and my own family were so caught up with the in school bullying
I didn't tell them about Jill's comments.
Cause honestly, compared to what I faced at school
it was so minor.
I've definitely had my eyes opened about Beth
and Liz cause of this
and I am thinking it's time to cut them off.
Beth definitely, Liz, I will give a final chance to apologize.
What's so great about being her friend anyway?
I've been sad thinking about your questions
for the last few minutes
and I'm sad to say I cannot think of a single thing
I have missed about Beth in the two years
since we last saw each other.
Our group?
Sure, plenty, but Beth herself, no.
As we've grown older we've clashed more and more,
especially about my health
and I bit my tongue a lot for the sake of our group
but I think I need to have a quiet word with Megan Kelly
to let them know I'll be cutting contact with Beth and Liz.
Sure, Acadia 4376, NTA.
She is a bully and always was.
Do not apologize under any circumstances.
Beth knows exactly who her sister is
and still sided with her when Jill was clearly in the wrong.
Shame on Beth.
Unrepentant squirrel, Beth didn't have your back
and she is not a good friend.
She is an awe, Jill is an awe and you deserve better.
Unrepentant squirrel and I should have added,
Beth isn't just an A-hole for not having your back.
It is also inexcusable that she ever allowed her sister
to talk to like that and baffling that she expected you
to apologize.
It always hurts to lose a friend
but you are truly better off without Beth in your life.
Matt Davies, Op Beth has been this way for 21 years
and nothing has changed.
What makes you think it'll change now?
Borretta Tham 1962, NTA.
She can give it but she can't take it.
That sort you don't apologize to and Beth is an A-2.
Gosh what a pair.
38 and running to 34 because another 34 was mean to her.
This is a playground dispute and you called it.
I'd be wary of Beth.
She caused this by not telling you Jill was going to be there.
Sure Acadia 43-76.
Agreed and then she backed up her sister
who was clearly in the wrong.
I almost hate to say this but one thing I've realized
over the past few years is that the people who tell you
not to apologize because it's a sign of weakness have a point.
I used to think that it was some borderline sociopathic powerplay thing
but really it's just about not being walked on.
In this case, opted nothing wrong
so apologizing would just be admitting I'm a doormat
and you can walk all over me.
Don't get me wrong if you did something
that merits an apology you should apologize
but don't do it just to keep the peace or some nonsense.
Update, high folks, a lot of you asked me to update
after my last post to let you know what I decided to do.
Thank you to all the commenters who let me know I was not going crazy.
Liz and Beth's insistence that I apologize
was making me second-guess myself so I appreciate your help.
Most of you also pointed out Beth's reaction was enabling Jill
and Liz's reaction was expecting me to roll over
in the name of keeping the peace.
I've come to realize that this has been a pattern for years in our group
playing peacekeeper to Beth and Liz for the good of the group,
not only for me, but for Megan and Kelly as well.
So, the update, I still haven't heard from Beth,
but Liz has been bombarding me with texts and voicemails
saying I was out of order and owe all three of them apologies
for how I acted and for continuing to drag things out.
She even suggested as a way to start making it up
I should take everyone, including Jill,
to a restaurant and pay for everything.
I have no desire to spend what would be a month's rent
on their drinks bill alone, not to mention
I don't feel I've done anything wrong.
Frankly, that she even suggested this only persuaded me more
to cut her off.
I met up with Megan and Kelly last night and told them
that I'm not apologizing to Jill.
Frankly, she stuck in her high school mean girl
and I'd be glad never to see her again.
I also said I am sick of swallowing my feelings to avoid tension
because Liz and Beth never apologize
and I am cutting contact with Beth and Liz.
I was expecting protests about breaking up the group.
I did not expect Megan to admit she's only stuck with Liz
for so long because, like me with Beth,
Liz was one of her only friends during her bullied years
and she didn't want to ruin our dynamic by acting out of turn.
Or for Kelly to say that for years she's been sick of Liz
and Beth treating the three of us like we're inferior
but and she was worried if she spoke up about it,
she'd lose me and Megan as well.
We all had a very overdue chat about how we all really feel
about this group and agreed that Beth and Liz
are not true friends to any of us.
Kelly and Megan showed me their messages from Beth and Liz,
basically painting me as some kind of demon hellbent
on ruining their lives.
I had to laugh at the one from Liz reminding them both
of how I ruined her wedding by not attending due to my selfish,
selfish emergency surgery.
This was five years ago and I'm only now hearing
that I ruined things because some guests asked after my health
at the reception and drew attention away from her big day.
Clearly, I am an awful person for this.
Anyway, we are completely cutting contact.
We've saved our messages just in case
because I don't see Jill, Beth or Liz disappearing quietly
from our lives once they realize we're not going to play ball.
But in the meantime, we're planning a zoo trip next week
so we'll enjoy a day out free of drama.
Comments, Aquavinatus, it's amazing what communication can reveal.
That being said, it's obvious that Jill, Beth
and Liz have been keeping up this charade for years
and have been benefiting from it.
Now that everything has been revealed to Op, Kelly and Megan,
those three can cut off the other three for good
and enjoy their lives without the unnecessary drama.
Corgi Huntress, good for you.
This is truly a positive update
because you three have a lot of happy times to look forward to.
NTA, Harry Potter Freak 23, in all honesty,
I would change all of your numbers
that way you don't have to worry about them
harassing you by them using other numbers.
To get a hold of you, sleepy, sleepy chick-op,
thank you for this suggestion.
I'll pass it on to Kelly and Megan as well.
At the moment, I have just blocked Liz and Beth
as otherwise I need to update all my medical stuff,
work, friends, and family, et cetera
and would prefer not to have that hassle.
If they do start harassing me though,
then I won't hesitate to change my number.
Queen Legolas, great job standing up for yourself.
But be warned, they'll throw a big fuss, possibly online.
You might deal with some flying monkeys.
Sleepy, sleepy chick-op, thank you.
We are batting down the hatches just in case.
I'm anticipating flying monkeys
and have warned my family and other friends
of what's up in case anyone tries getting at me through them.
Luckily, other than an old FB page
I used to keep in touch with a few friends and family abroad,
my social media is pretty nonexistent
so coming at me online isn't going to be easy.
Kelly and Megan are both more active though
and are already removing contacts
and blocking people known to side with Beth and Liz.
We're doing what we can to stay ahead of things.
Macaroni underscore Rascal 42.
I was over being a teenager when I was a teenager.
I'll never understand fully grown adults
who still act like immature children
with an undeveloped frontal lobe.
Kazoo 2324, I will never jeopardize the beans.
For some people, that is their literal peak.
In high school, they were attractive, popular,
people like them, or didn't want to be bullied by them,
which makes these people think they're incredible people.
Once they've lost those things
or other people outgrow them or get tired of their shit,
they've lost everything because again, that's all they had.
So they hold onto their glory days thinking,
look, I'm just as awesome as I was in high school,
everyone else is wrong.
Now onto the next story.
Story two.
Wife suddenly wanted a divorce,
then I discovered their affair and exposed it
to their boss and got them both fired.
Now she's jobless, her new guy wants to leave her
and she's begging for my help.
I'm a 31 year old guy,
and I've been in a relationship with my soon-to-be ex-wife,
who's 28, for seven years.
We were married for five of those years.
We both had jobs that made us think kids weren't in our plans,
but we had so many other amazing plans
for our future.
Throughout the seven years we were together,
we never had any disagreements about the direction we wanted
to take or the goals we had for our future.
So, back in February, my wife started a new job
and that's when she met this guy, her coworker,
who's 38 years old.
After her two week training, she came home
and I noticed that she was chatting a lot with this guy.
I've never been a jealous person
and I understand that our industry is male-dominated
so she's often surrounded by guys.
I always trusted her and never questioned her loyalty or boundaries.
However, I couldn't help but notice
that she was texting this guy a lot.
In March, I brought it up twice, expressing my concerns,
but she reassured me that he's just a friend
and I shouldn't worry.
They had common interests like being Christians
and they chatted a lot about the Bible, I'm not religious.
She even said that she would stop talking to him
if I felt uncomfortable.
But I knew they were going for training together again
at the end of March.
I realized it would be impossible to stop her
from talking to him, so I didn't push the issue further.
I always made sure to check in with my wife
to see if she was happy in our marriage
or if there was anything I could do to improve things.
I never received any negative feedback from her
and even as recently as mid-March.
She was telling me that I was the best thing
that ever happened to her.
However, things took a turn when she left
for a month of job training in a different location
at the end of March.
In the first few days, everything seemed normal between us,
but as the week progressed, we started to fight a lot.
I'll admit, some of it was my fault
because I was going through some personal stuff
and was feeling quite emotional.
But there was something else bothering me too.
She seemed distant and expressed some strange ideas
about the future that didn't sound like her at all.
This made me feel uneasy
because we used to hardly ever argue about anything.
I can't even remember the last time
we had a big fight before April.
It's been a confusing and challenging time for both of us.
I felt really bad about arguing with her
because I knew how important it was for her.
The main issue we were fighting about
was her not maintaining clear boundaries
with this guy from work
and it was obvious to me that he was interested
in her romantically.
Then, she brought up the need for space
and time to think about our relationship in our future.
She assured me that she still loved me,
but things weren't the same anymore.
I was confused, but I respected her request for space
because I didn't fully understand what was going on.
After a couple of days,
she dropped the bombshell of divorce
during a FaceTime conversation.
It was devastating and at that moment,
I still didn't have a clear grasp of the situation,
but deep down, I had a gut feeling
that she might be leaving with this other guy.
It's been a rollercoaster of emotions
and uncertainty for me.
When she finally returned home in mid-May,
I went to the airport to pick her up.
As soon as I saw her, something felt off.
She didn't even give me a hug
after not seeing each other for a month and a half.
When we got home, she didn't bother unpacking her luggage.
That first night, she looked me in the eyes
and told me directly that she wanted a divorce
and that she no longer loved me.
It was incredibly tough and hurtful,
but I was still holding onto the hope
that maybe our arguments and my emotional ups and downs
had contributed to her feelings.
So I tried to work things out.
But the very next day, she started acting differently.
She claimed she wanted to clean the house
and create nice memories for the last couple of days
before she left.
I sensed something wasn't right
and I felt like she was hiding things from me.
So for the first time in seven years,
I went through her phone.
There, I discovered that even before she came back home,
she was already in a relationship with that coworker guy
and they had even signed a lease to move in together.
This was just a month and a half
after she had left home at the end of March.
She had told this guy that she was willing
to give up everything to start a new with him.
It was a devastating revelation
and it left me feeling even more hurt and confused.
I still feel terrible to this day for going through her phone
because it's something I had never done
in our relationship before
and I felt like I had crossed a line.
However, at that moment,
I decided to take screenshots of her conversations
with the coworker and acted like nothing happened
just to see how far she would go with all the lies
she had been telling me.
For the following days,
I kept asking her questions about her and this coworker
but I never got any honest answers.
Finally, that night when we were talking,
I got really frustrated and angry
and I started pressing her for the truth.
She turned it around and blamed me for my own issues,
saying that's why we could never be together.
Even during our heated arguments, she continued to lie.
Eventually, she decided to leave that night
and as soon as she was gone,
I sent her all the screenshots I had taken
and told her that I already knew everything.
I admitted that I was testing her to see how far
she would go with her deception.
She then claimed that they only started their relationship
after she brought up divorce
so she argued that it wasn't cheating.
She also said that she had been wanting out of the relationship
for a long time but was just waiting for the right moment
because she perceived me as controlling and abusive.
Seeing her leave and knowing it might be the last time
I see her was one of the hardest moments in my life.
I kept asking her to be honest with me
and show some respect for our marriage until the very end.
She had been an amazing wife for seven years
and it's tough for me to understand
how she could change so drastically
in such a short period of time.
I'm still left with a lot of confusion and questions.
After she moved out, I didn't waste any time
and hired a lawyer to file for divorce.
She didn't want any of the belongings I got her,
the house, the cars or any financial support.
She just wanted to end things.
It's not a decision I wanted to make
but I couldn't risk her changing her mind
so I went ahead with the divorce process.
I already have the signed paperwork back
so it's in progress now.
It's been a tough journey
but I'm trying to stay strong and move forward.
I wanted to make sure she learned a valuable lesson
before I walked away for good.
What she did was hurtful and I was feeling really upset.
So, I decided to act without causing any harm to my own character.
I gathered all the screenshots of her conversations
with her coworker and put them into a PDF.
Then, I sent it to their boss.
My hope was that this would help them understand
the consequences of their actions
and treat others with more respect in the future.
And just like that, the both of them got fired
from the company, a perfect way to start their love story.
Even though I'm still hurt by her cheating,
I didn't want to stoop to her level
and ruin my own reputation in the process.
It's been two months since she told me she wanted a divorce
and I'm happy to say that I'm doing a lot better now.
My soon to be ex has been trying to contact me begging for mercy.
She told me she's been having trouble
being able to find a job since
and the guy she moved in with his having second thoughts
on breaking up with her since he lost his job because of her.
If she thinks I will help her in any way,
then she's absolutely nuts.
During this time, I've been trying to focus on myself
and work towards building a new life
and becoming a better person.
I understand that neither of us was perfect
nor our relationship had its flaws.
But what hurt me the most was how quickly everything changed.
In less than two months,
she went from being in our marriage
to being in a new relationship
and now living together with this person.
It's been hard to grasp how all the memories we shared,
the things we built together
and the plans we had for the future
could seemingly vanish overnight
because of someone new in her life.
However, I've come to realize
that dwelling on the past won't help me move forward.
Instead, I want to focus on the positive aspects
of my life and the opportunities that lie ahead.
I'm learning to accept that some things are beyond my control
and I'm determined to create a bright future for myself.
I believe that as time goes on, I'll heal
and new adventures and joys will come my way.

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