COMPANION'S sibling harassed me for two decades. CONSEQUENTLY, I RETALIATED against her taunts,

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I hope you enjoy this story.

Companions sibling harassed me for two decades.

Consequently, I retaliated against her taunts,

resulting in a divide within our mutual circle

as some urged me to express regret.

However, I stood my ground and declined to do so.

Started a huge fight.

Background, my 33F, friend Beth, 34F,

has an older sister Jill, 38F,

who has hated me since we first met.

She always called me a weirdo freak

and said I deserve the bullying I got at school

because I was a such a dork.

I stopped visiting Beth's house

because of Jill and didn't see her again until Beth's 18th birthday,

where she told people that I was harassing her boyfriend.

I'd literally said hello to him and that was it,

because I was too ugly and weird to attract my own guy.

Thankfully, she moved away not long after

and I was just glad to be rid of her.

Now, Beth and I arranged a dinner reservation

with the other three in our group, Liz, 33F,

Kelly, 34F, and Megan, 34F.

This was our first real chance to see each other in over two years,

due to a number of reasons,

and we were all looking forward for a chance to catch up.

Beth offered to drive me and Kelly with her to the restaurant,

since neither of us can drive

and I have CFS and several types of chronic pain

so traveling isn't easy for me.

We caught a bus to Beth's flat together,

but it was Jill who answered the door,

which shocked us both.

Beth hadn't told us Jill was visiting

and we'd have appreciated a heads-up

since neither of us have good history with Jill.

Still, we were polite.

Kelly said hello and complimented Jill's dress,

and I said hi Jill, nice to see you, how have you been?

Jill completely ignored Jill and turned to me and said,

better than you, clearly, still a pale freak, aren't you?

I couldn't help it and snapped at her

that at least I'm not a bitter hag

still clinging to grudges I started with a 12-year-old.

Maybe it's time you grew up a bit.

Jill immediately ran off screaming for Beth

and said she's not taking us anywhere

until that CT apologizes which confused me and Kelly

because why would she be taking us anywhere?

That was when Beth came out and revealed her car

was broken so Jill was meant to be driving us

and I shouldn't have been cruel to her sister

and that's just Jill's humor.

Kelly called bullshit and said Jill is a bully

and she only surprised I hadn't snapped years ago

and told me I'd better not apologize.

I said I had no intention to.

Beth said well, you can make your own way

to the restaurant then and kicked us out.

Kelly and I called Liz and Megan to update them

and say we'd be running late since we now

had to pay for a cab and they are split.

Liz thought I should just apologize

because Beth is siding with Jill

and it would cut the tension.

But Megan thought this was long overdue and Jill had a coming

and Beth needs to accept her sister's actions

have consequences.

In the end, I refused to apologize and we got a taxi

only to find out Beth was refusing to join us

over what I said to Jill.

This was a week ago

and Beth is now refusing to speak to any of us other than Liz

who told her she said I was at fault

until I apologized to her sister.

Aida, comments.

Beth and Jill, thank you.

Liz and Beth's reactions to this whole thing

had me feel I was going insane

and Kelly and I were both really confused

about why Beth didn't warn us beforehand.

She knows our history with Jill isn't pleasant.

TBH, I'm seriously considering cutting Beth off for this

if she keeps reacting this way.

Thank you for your comment.

Writing this all out has made me realize

I have been too forgiving of Beth over the years

especially where Jill is concerned.

I think I will be cutting ties with her for sure.

Their history, thank you for your comment.

I said this in another reply, but Beth

and I have been friends since I was 12

and she was one of the few people in our year group

who didn't bully me.

Since Liz, Megan and Kelly are all friends with her as well,

it's been easier to just put up with her.

It's getting ridiculous now

and I'm seriously considering cutting Beth off for this

and just dealing with a fallout.

Who TF holds on to 30 year drama?

It's honestly bizarre, but this is exactly the same

as she acted when we were in school.

I do not understand her at all

or what she hoped to get out of this.

Nobody did anything when it was a 17 year old

picking on a 12 year old.

Yay Beth and Jill's family acting like it was harmless fun

and my own family were so caught up with the in school bullying

I didn't tell them about Jill's comments.

Cause honestly, compared to what I faced at school

it was so minor.

I've definitely had my eyes opened about Beth

and Liz cause of this

and I am thinking it's time to cut them off.

Beth definitely, Liz, I will give a final chance to apologize.

What's so great about being her friend anyway?

I've been sad thinking about your questions

for the last few minutes

and I'm sad to say I cannot think of a single thing

I have missed about Beth in the two years

since we last saw each other.

Our group?

Sure, plenty, but Beth herself, no.

As we've grown older we've clashed more and more,

especially about my health

and I bit my tongue a lot for the sake of our group

but I think I need to have a quiet word with Megan Kelly

to let them know I'll be cutting contact with Beth and Liz.

Sure, Acadia 4376, NTA.

She is a bully and always was.

Do not apologize under any circumstances.

Beth knows exactly who her sister is

and still sided with her when Jill was clearly in the wrong.

Shame on Beth.

Unrepentant squirrel, Beth didn't have your back

and she is not a good friend.

She is an awe, Jill is an awe and you deserve better.

Unrepentant squirrel and I should have added,

Beth isn't just an A-hole for not having your back.

It is also inexcusable that she ever allowed her sister

to talk to like that and baffling that she expected you

to apologize.

It always hurts to lose a friend

but you are truly better off without Beth in your life.

Matt Davies, Op Beth has been this way for 21 years

and nothing has changed.

What makes you think it'll change now?

Borretta Tham 1962, NTA.

She can give it but she can't take it.

That sort you don't apologize to and Beth is an A-2.

Gosh what a pair.

38 and running to 34 because another 34 was mean to her.

This is a playground dispute and you called it.

I'd be wary of Beth.

She caused this by not telling you Jill was going to be there.

Sure Acadia 43-76.

Agreed and then she backed up her sister

who was clearly in the wrong.

I almost hate to say this but one thing I've realized

over the past few years is that the people who tell you

not to apologize because it's a sign of weakness have a point.

I used to think that it was some borderline sociopathic powerplay thing

but really it's just about not being walked on.

In this case, opted nothing wrong

so apologizing would just be admitting I'm a doormat

and you can walk all over me.

Don't get me wrong if you did something

that merits an apology you should apologize

but don't do it just to keep the peace or some nonsense.

Update, high folks, a lot of you asked me to update

after my last post to let you know what I decided to do.

Thank you to all the commenters who let me know I was not going crazy.

Liz and Beth's insistence that I apologize

was making me second-guess myself so I appreciate your help.

Most of you also pointed out Beth's reaction was enabling Jill

and Liz's reaction was expecting me to roll over

in the name of keeping the peace.

I've come to realize that this has been a pattern for years in our group

playing peacekeeper to Beth and Liz for the good of the group,

not only for me, but for Megan and Kelly as well.

So, the update, I still haven't heard from Beth,

but Liz has been bombarding me with texts and voicemails

saying I was out of order and owe all three of them apologies

for how I acted and for continuing to drag things out.

She even suggested as a way to start making it up

I should take everyone, including Jill,

to a restaurant and pay for everything.

I have no desire to spend what would be a month's rent

on their drinks bill alone, not to mention

I don't feel I've done anything wrong.

Frankly, that she even suggested this only persuaded me more

to cut her off.

I met up with Megan and Kelly last night and told them

that I'm not apologizing to Jill.

Frankly, she stuck in her high school mean girl

and I'd be glad never to see her again.

I also said I am sick of swallowing my feelings to avoid tension

because Liz and Beth never apologize

and I am cutting contact with Beth and Liz.

I was expecting protests about breaking up the group.

I did not expect Megan to admit she's only stuck with Liz

for so long because, like me with Beth,

Liz was one of her only friends during her bullied years

and she didn't want to ruin our dynamic by acting out of turn.

Or for Kelly to say that for years she's been sick of Liz

and Beth treating the three of us like we're inferior

but and she was worried if she spoke up about it,

she'd lose me and Megan as well.

We all had a very overdue chat about how we all really feel

about this group and agreed that Beth and Liz

are not true friends to any of us.

Kelly and Megan showed me their messages from Beth and Liz,

basically painting me as some kind of demon hellbent

on ruining their lives.

I had to laugh at the one from Liz reminding them both

of how I ruined her wedding by not attending due to my selfish,

selfish emergency surgery.

This was five years ago and I'm only now hearing

that I ruined things because some guests asked after my health

at the reception and drew attention away from her big day.

Clearly, I am an awful person for this.

Anyway, we are completely cutting contact.

We've saved our messages just in case

because I don't see Jill, Beth or Liz disappearing quietly

from our lives once they realize we're not going to play ball.

But in the meantime, we're planning a zoo trip next week

so we'll enjoy a day out free of drama.

Comments, Aquavinatus, it's amazing what communication can reveal.

That being said, it's obvious that Jill, Beth

and Liz have been keeping up this charade for years

and have been benefiting from it.

Now that everything has been revealed to Op, Kelly and Megan,

those three can cut off the other three for good

and enjoy their lives without the unnecessary drama.

Corgi Huntress, good for you.

This is truly a positive update

because you three have a lot of happy times to look forward to.

NTA, Harry Potter Freak 23, in all honesty,

I would change all of your numbers

that way you don't have to worry about them

harassing you by them using other numbers.

To get a hold of you, sleepy, sleepy chick-op,

thank you for this suggestion.

I'll pass it on to Kelly and Megan as well.

At the moment, I have just blocked Liz and Beth

as otherwise I need to update all my medical stuff,

work, friends, and family, et cetera

and would prefer not to have that hassle.

If they do start harassing me though,

then I won't hesitate to change my number.

Queen Legolas, great job standing up for yourself.

But be warned, they'll throw a big fuss, possibly online.

You might deal with some flying monkeys.

Sleepy, sleepy chick-op, thank you.

We are batting down the hatches just in case.

I'm anticipating flying monkeys

and have warned my family and other friends

of what's up in case anyone tries getting at me through them.

Luckily, other than an old FB page

I used to keep in touch with a few friends and family abroad,

my social media is pretty nonexistent

so coming at me online isn't going to be easy.

Kelly and Megan are both more active though

and are already removing contacts

and blocking people known to side with Beth and Liz.

We're doing what we can to stay ahead of things.

Macaroni underscore Rascal 42.

I was over being a teenager when I was a teenager.

I'll never understand fully grown adults

who still act like immature children

with an undeveloped frontal lobe.

Kazoo 2324, I will never jeopardize the beans.

For some people, that is their literal peak.

In high school, they were attractive, popular,

people like them, or didn't want to be bullied by them,

which makes these people think they're incredible people.

Once they've lost those things

or other people outgrow them or get tired of their shit,

they've lost everything because again, that's all they had.

So they hold onto their glory days thinking,

look, I'm just as awesome as I was in high school,

everyone else is wrong.

Now onto the next story.

Story two.

Wife suddenly wanted a divorce,

then I discovered their affair and exposed it

to their boss and got them both fired.

Now she's jobless, her new guy wants to leave her

and she's begging for my help.

I'm a 31 year old guy,

and I've been in a relationship with my soon-to-be ex-wife,

who's 28, for seven years.

We were married for five of those years.

We both had jobs that made us think kids weren't in our plans,

but we had so many other amazing plans

for our future.

Throughout the seven years we were together,

we never had any disagreements about the direction we wanted

to take or the goals we had for our future.

So, back in February, my wife started a new job

and that's when she met this guy, her coworker,

who's 38 years old.

After her two week training, she came home

and I noticed that she was chatting a lot with this guy.

I've never been a jealous person

and I understand that our industry is male-dominated

so she's often surrounded by guys.

I always trusted her and never questioned her loyalty or boundaries.

However, I couldn't help but notice

that she was texting this guy a lot.

In March, I brought it up twice, expressing my concerns,

but she reassured me that he's just a friend

and I shouldn't worry.

They had common interests like being Christians

and they chatted a lot about the Bible, I'm not religious.

She even said that she would stop talking to him

if I felt uncomfortable.

But I knew they were going for training together again

at the end of March.

I realized it would be impossible to stop her

from talking to him, so I didn't push the issue further.

I always made sure to check in with my wife

to see if she was happy in our marriage

or if there was anything I could do to improve things.

I never received any negative feedback from her

and even as recently as mid-March.

She was telling me that I was the best thing

that ever happened to her.

However, things took a turn when she left

for a month of job training in a different location

at the end of March.

In the first few days, everything seemed normal between us,

but as the week progressed, we started to fight a lot.

I'll admit, some of it was my fault

because I was going through some personal stuff

and was feeling quite emotional.

But there was something else bothering me too.

She seemed distant and expressed some strange ideas

about the future that didn't sound like her at all.

This made me feel uneasy

because we used to hardly ever argue about anything.

I can't even remember the last time

we had a big fight before April.

It's been a confusing and challenging time for both of us.

I felt really bad about arguing with her

because I knew how important it was for her.

The main issue we were fighting about

was her not maintaining clear boundaries

with this guy from work

and it was obvious to me that he was interested

in her romantically.

Then, she brought up the need for space

and time to think about our relationship in our future.

She assured me that she still loved me,

but things weren't the same anymore.

I was confused, but I respected her request for space

because I didn't fully understand what was going on.

After a couple of days,

she dropped the bombshell of divorce

during a FaceTime conversation.

It was devastating and at that moment,

I still didn't have a clear grasp of the situation,

but deep down, I had a gut feeling

that she might be leaving with this other guy.

It's been a rollercoaster of emotions

and uncertainty for me.

When she finally returned home in mid-May,

I went to the airport to pick her up.

As soon as I saw her, something felt off.

She didn't even give me a hug

after not seeing each other for a month and a half.

When we got home, she didn't bother unpacking her luggage.

That first night, she looked me in the eyes

and told me directly that she wanted a divorce

and that she no longer loved me.

It was incredibly tough and hurtful,

but I was still holding onto the hope

that maybe our arguments and my emotional ups and downs

had contributed to her feelings.

So I tried to work things out.

But the very next day, she started acting differently.

She claimed she wanted to clean the house

and create nice memories for the last couple of days

before she left.

I sensed something wasn't right

and I felt like she was hiding things from me.

So for the first time in seven years,

I went through her phone.

There, I discovered that even before she came back home,

she was already in a relationship with that coworker guy

and they had even signed a lease to move in together.

This was just a month and a half

after she had left home at the end of March.

She had told this guy that she was willing

to give up everything to start a new with him.

It was a devastating revelation

and it left me feeling even more hurt and confused.

I still feel terrible to this day for going through her phone

because it's something I had never done

in our relationship before

and I felt like I had crossed a line.

However, at that moment,

I decided to take screenshots of her conversations

with the coworker and acted like nothing happened

just to see how far she would go with all the lies

she had been telling me.

For the following days,

I kept asking her questions about her and this coworker

but I never got any honest answers.

Finally, that night when we were talking,

I got really frustrated and angry

and I started pressing her for the truth.

She turned it around and blamed me for my own issues,

saying that's why we could never be together.

Even during our heated arguments, she continued to lie.

Eventually, she decided to leave that night

and as soon as she was gone,

I sent her all the screenshots I had taken

and told her that I already knew everything.

I admitted that I was testing her to see how far

she would go with her deception.

She then claimed that they only started their relationship

after she brought up divorce

so she argued that it wasn't cheating.

She also said that she had been wanting out of the relationship

for a long time but was just waiting for the right moment

because she perceived me as controlling and abusive.

Seeing her leave and knowing it might be the last time

I see her was one of the hardest moments in my life.

I kept asking her to be honest with me

and show some respect for our marriage until the very end.

She had been an amazing wife for seven years

and it's tough for me to understand

how she could change so drastically

in such a short period of time.

I'm still left with a lot of confusion and questions.

After she moved out, I didn't waste any time

and hired a lawyer to file for divorce.

She didn't want any of the belongings I got her,

the house, the cars or any financial support.

She just wanted to end things.

It's not a decision I wanted to make

but I couldn't risk her changing her mind

so I went ahead with the divorce process.

I already have the signed paperwork back

so it's in progress now.

It's been a tough journey

but I'm trying to stay strong and move forward.

I wanted to make sure she learned a valuable lesson

before I walked away for good.

What she did was hurtful and I was feeling really upset.

So, I decided to act without causing any harm to my own character.

I gathered all the screenshots of her conversations

with her coworker and put them into a PDF.

Then, I sent it to their boss.

My hope was that this would help them understand

the consequences of their actions

and treat others with more respect in the future.

And just like that, the both of them got fired

from the company, a perfect way to start their love story.

Even though I'm still hurt by her cheating,

I didn't want to stoop to her level

and ruin my own reputation in the process.

It's been two months since she told me she wanted a divorce

and I'm happy to say that I'm doing a lot better now.

My soon to be ex has been trying to contact me begging for mercy.

She told me she's been having trouble

being able to find a job since

and the guy she moved in with his having second thoughts

on breaking up with her since he lost his job because of her.

If she thinks I will help her in any way,

then she's absolutely nuts.

During this time, I've been trying to focus on myself

and work towards building a new life

and becoming a better person.

I understand that neither of us was perfect

nor our relationship had its flaws.

But what hurt me the most was how quickly everything changed.

In less than two months,

she went from being in our marriage

to being in a new relationship

and now living together with this person.

It's been hard to grasp how all the memories we shared,

the things we built together

and the plans we had for the future

could seemingly vanish overnight

because of someone new in her life.

However, I've come to realize

that dwelling on the past won't help me move forward.

Instead, I want to focus on the positive aspects

of my life and the opportunities that lie ahead.

I'm learning to accept that some things are beyond my control

and I'm determined to create a bright future for myself.

I believe that as time goes on, I'll heal

and new adventures and joys will come my way.