Corrections: The Podcast | Episode 168 - "Dear Derek"

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In the year 2021, Late Night Talk Show host Seth Meyers unleashed the full fury of the

internet with the utterance of a single word.

These are the stories of one man's dissent into the bowels of the internet and his courage

to take on the most dangerous people on earth, YouTube commenters.

Recorded every Thursday after the audience has left Studio HG and witnessed only by scattered

members of the Late Night staff and crew, this is Corrections, the podcast.

Corrections

Episode 168

Week of Monday, March 9th, 2026.

I did a bit about why are people watching gas station TV, right?

Just look at your phone.

That's certainly what I do.

And somebody wrote in, people watch gas station TV because they've been told never to use

their phone while pumping gas.

It's possible for the phones electronics to generate enough static electricity to ignite

the gas vapor.

Multiple bullets dodged.

We had to think about a guy when I had cheap gas, the guy in a horror movie, you know,

the old guy in a horror movie, is it like the last gas station?

And the graphic, somebody goes, is that the gas station you were thinking would be in

the background?

And I was thinking a solitary pump, not that this guy ran like a super shell station.

Bernie Sanders, I talked about how I would not ask Bernie Sanders if he had any new music

coming out.

And someone wrote Bernie Sanders did release a musical album in 1987 because it has been

nearly 40 years since his last release and he has remained a public figure.

I think asking him about new music would be a valid question.

Name of this band?

Bernie in the Jets.

Hey kids, shake it loose together.

The spotlight's hitting something!

That's been known to change the weather.

We'll kill the fatty cat tonight.

So stick around.

We're going to hear electric music.

Solid balls of sound.

I like build this because they're rubber, rubber magazine.

You should go pay off to that, just the journey.

I've been trying and failing to connect with Andy and someone correctly pointed out, isn't

he, isn't your friend?

Shouldn't you know since you talk about it on the podcast, isn't he shooting a movie

right now and therefore probably unavailable when you're facetiming him to ask him this

Nicholas Cage Alfquestion and it isn't a bit of a time waste for us to sit every week

in connections while it rings and rings and rings.

That is totally true.

So to save time, I'm just going to text him to see if he's available.

Because this will just, obviously, I agree.

You don't want to just waste a ton of time for like, ringing, ringing, ringing.

Hey, bud.

Been pointed out to me that you are working on movie and probably unavailable to take

calls.

But if you were, have a quick quest, he'll know that's question, right?

Again, just in the F, to save time.

Oh, it oughta corrected the question.

Could it just go?

About your Nick Cage impression, text if available.

Okay.

In next five minutes.

If not, just regard.

Okay.

Thank you, by the way.

You know, again, somebody wrote, what is the MU window?

It has to be episode 138 of Corrections to the present.

And I sort of threw it out there and it's very unscientific, but I will find.

The jackals have usually been pretty good at circling around a few episodes.

141, 156, 149.

Those are sort of the ones that were mentioned the most.

Somebody I did like this, somebody wrote 166 was my favorite in recent memory.

I have dementia.

And again, like, I don't want to, don't put too much time in this.

So maybe we'll, so for this week, in the comments, limit yourself to 141, 156, or 149.

Tell us which of those three is your favorite.

But don't put too much time into this, because we're not going to win, right?

Like, somebody else is going to just sort of slide in and steal our thunder this year.

It's going to be like cottage talk with the two actors who played the parents on heated rivalry.

Somebody wrote, surely you know barrels is just a measurement of oil, 42 gallons.

It's not stored in barrels.

Yeah.

Surely I knew that.

I talked about how a Nola Gay should be the name of a drag queen last week.

And somebody wrote there was in a Nola Gay drag queen, but she bombed.

Then it was pointed out to me that the reason there isn't is the drag community would not celebrate.

A tragedy such as the bombing of Hiroshima, which I thought was actually a very lovely sentiment,

that the drag community is about positivity, not about celebrating violence,

which is why there's not a drag queen named me lie mascara.

The best is I don't, I really didn't know what the reaction would be.

Just re-staken a back.

Got a lot of notes and my hair was weird last week.

I should have asked for a blown up photo of this, this is on me.

And I'm like, oh, there does seem to be a white gray patch there.

Let's see if it's here this week.

Can we go to the back?

Yeah, so I guess that's...

Yeah.

There was a lot of questions about this.

Do I die the front of my hair and not the back?

I don't.

I'll go by the way the day I die my hair.

I will tell you.

Not, I'll visually you'll know, because it's just...

And then if it looks like this, that means I'm a divorced.

There'll be a corresponding audio hint with this one,

which is the jangling of the keys to my new Amazda Miyata.

Oh, but this was, by the way, I don't...

Again, I don't know what's going on and I didn't know until you all called it out.

And not kindly.

Somebody's upset about it.

Shaved or just old.

But that was still nicer than somebody goes, has Seth been to the vet?

Somebody wrote, I love Seth Myers.

Love the show Love Corrections with one big exception.

I really hate his Lindsey Graham impression.

Can't stand that voice.

Well, sorry to see you go.

Somebody wrote a Lindsey Graham.

We did talk about Lindsey Graham doing a wicked theater camp.

A lot of people have said, a lot of people...

And a lot of jackals know, I guess, about this sort of thing.

You think it cannot do wicked because it is not available for amateur licensing.

And I just love that Lindsey Graham, a man who's never met an illegal war he doesn't like,

would draw the line at doing a musical they don't have the rights to.

I'll tell you, we're doing chess this year.

Steven Schwartz is a frown.

No word.

Somebody said there's more than one way to skin a cat.

So why is there fur on the mick cat?

By the way, I did see a great new commercial for the mick cat, the new McDonald's sandwich.

In the commercial, have you seen it?

It's on during NBA games.

It says, people are smiling all over America because...

They're eating the cats.

Um...

Cloaca, cloaca.

A lot of talk about how I'm saying it wrong.

So we're just going to go with a butthole for eggs.

We talked about...

There will be blood parody film.

There will be bananas.

Daniel Day Lewis has shown some interest based on my conversations with him.

I will say those conversations might have been with a homeless person.

But that's the thing about Daniel Day Lewis.

He could be anyone.

If you're trying to get a message, Daniel Day Lewis, just tell anybody.

Because it could be him.

Somebody did have a great name for Daniel Day Lewis's character and there will be bananas.

Daniel Plantane.

If I had said that in the criterion closet, the f***.

Laugh sort of in so big the DVDs would have fallen off the shelves.

Um...

All right, lastly, I got...

Someone wrote in and asked me, which is very nice, because a lot of people have been asked me to sign my card.

That's my card right there.

And this person was the only person who in order to get me to sign it sent me a couple things.

A full VHS set of Thornbirds.

Very excited to get into that.

And then an autographed...

It's an autographed Marv Albert card.

And they said, I've heard you do your Marv Albert impression.

So I thought you might want an autographed Marv Albert card.

And it's the only problem is it says, two Derek.

Best wishes.

Anyways, that's Ryan, sent that in.

And by the way, a lot of people have Ryan's the first one.

And but he also asked me to sign it on a camera.

So he knew it was official and that I didn't have Wally do it.

Like, Wally does cue cards.

Not because I can't write.

All right, so Ryan, I want to make sure...

You know this is me.

I got two Derek.

And we'll get that out first thing for you.

All right, thanks to everybody.

People will say, like, Andy's not...

Hold on, let me just say.

People are saying...

This means we're not friends.

But it's not that, right?

Right?

Okay.

Whatever he writes back will be the first thing I read next week.

How about that for a cliffhanger?

She'll make her, how about that for a...

See me next week.

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