Crashing Out, Mormon Secret Lives, & Listener Tea

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That is the tea. Here's Lindsay.

Good morning and welcome back to another episode of the Southern Tea Good Morning, Madison.

I feel like, have you ever seen that lady on TikTok where she, I think she's from South Carolina

and she always like does this the top of her drink and she's like, I'm about to drink a Chris

speak coke. Chris speak coke. What's the alani of the morning?

The alani, well, this is my second alani of the morning.

I only know when I say crash out yesterday, I'm going to tell you all about it, but I had

my favorite flavor is the cosmic sardust. My second favorite flavor is the breezeberry,

but have you tried the new lime one? No, was it good? It's like lime slush. It tastes exactly like,

I'm trying to think, key lime pie. And I can't eat a key lime pie because I am allergic to

baking soda, so I can't have any sweets or anything like that. And so when I taste it for the first

time, one of my girlfriends was like, you've got to go and get it. And I'm like, where is the alani

plug for the new lime slush? And she's like, Kroger has it stocked. I went and got it. And my

entire fridge now looks like I'm on MTV grubs. Oh my god. That's amazing. That's amazing.

So let me tell you about my crash out yesterday. Yeah, let's hear about it. I'm sure people who

listen, some people probably have teenagers. Okay, you know how we talked about like 13 on not like

last week's episode, but the week before. Okay, well, he stopped getting himself up. That lasted,

you know, like, all of three days. Right. And we're just listening. Okay, so number one, does anybody

listen to like fire crackling on their TV or like ocean scene or whatever when you go to bed? Yes.

Okay, well, please tell me why for the past three nights, I thought that my house was on fire

because you hear from the bedroom, which is like, oh my god. So the volume turned up so loud

on the crackling, like we're at a campfire that we can no longer hear an alarm. So yesterday,

from his like TV or TV, like they have, it's like on YouTube, right? I don't know if it's on YouTube.

It's like on certain TVs, it comes like installed. Okay. And so I guess the TVs that we have,

it just like automatically installed and you can just kind of like scroll through it. So if you

want to listen to the ocean, you can listen to the ocean or obviously, you know, a house fire.

You can do that as well. Well, he listens to it so loud that you can hear it in other rooms of

the house. I don't know what's going on. The alarm is just like ringing, going off, going off.

And I'm like, I feel like whenever an alarm goes off for me, I automatically like wake up like,

I'm awake. Like I hate the repeating noise over and over. It drives me insane. Okay. So are you

an immediate like you jump out of the bed or are you a snoozer? I mean, I'll wake up. It's like

getting up probably like 10 minutes. Like I'll look at my phone or something and then I'll get up.

Okay. So I am a habitual snoozer. I set my alarm for like maybe 20 minutes before I actually need

to be up. And then I snooze every five minutes for the 20 minutes. Wow. And it's like what,

what's wrong with me? So I go in there and I'm like, you need to get up like out of your bed.

Please tell me why there are soft drink cans upstairs after you've already brushed your teeth for

bed. I've made sure that you're like safe and good. There are walches gummy wrappers all over

the floor. I mean, we had a full blown rave in that room. Okay. The retainers just laying

in the bed next to the cell phone, like not in the mouth. And I don't know anybody else who's

listening to this. But if you've ever paid for like orthodontics for your children and they do not

wear their retainer, this is payback for what I did. Yeah, it's like money in the trash.

It's money. So he gets in the shower. Mind you, I give him an entire hour and 15 minutes to get

ready as a 13 year old boy. Please tell me why 47 minutes later, I still hear the water. 47, 47. 47

flocking. Okay. 47 minutes later, the water is still running. So I busted that bathroom door

and I'm like, what the fuck is going on in here? Like, why are you still in the shower, sleeping in

the shower floor? What? Sleeping with water running over him, sleeping in the shower floor.

Is everything okay? No, no. So I'm like, okay, we've got to get out the door. Like you literally

have four minutes to get out the store. He's not out the door in four minutes. Take him to

Chick-fil-A to get breakfast, which I know people would say, okay, well, I'm rewarding the bad behavior

by doing that, but I didn't have time to do anything at home and he didn't have time to eat at home.

So I had to get him something. Please tell me why I go on my email yesterday where multiple

assignments that were supposed to be done in school were not completed and multiple behavior points

were taken off from being off task. When my child digs his heels in, he's like, the whole day

is fucked. It can't just be like one thing. It has to be a slew of everything. It's becoming

now worse day ever. It is a full-blown commitment and I'm like, this is what we're not doing. So

my ex-husband calls me and he's like, top of the morning, how's everything going? Do not call

me. Do not call me because this is what I'm dealing with. Also, remember when was it Kale and I

that we're talking about Needles? I don't know if that episode did yet. Yes. Yes.

So you can't find them anywhere around here. Right. It is, you would be striking gold if you

went into like a CVS or Walgreens and happened to get your hands on one. Jackson's granddad

wills dad. He was able to locate four of them. So Jackson gets them. He's been carrying them around

in his backpack, which goes between mine and Will's house in the school. Will calls me the other morning

and it's mixing bowls and he's like, what is in my mixing bowls? It's like remnants of like busted

needles. Jackson got these needles, cut them and there was stuff everywhere and it's now a situation

where I have never allowed slime in the house and now we're no longer doing new needles. Don't

even ask me. Oh my god. So he just had he was busting open. These limited hard to get needles.

Yeah. And I'm like, we're spending like when I say we wills dad spending whatever amount of money.

I don't even know how much these needles cost, but spending these amount of money is on these things

and now we're breaking them. So now you have vandalized mixing bowls. You have vandalized items

that somebody paid for and like what were you doing? What's going on? Sleeping in the shower,

cutting needles. What's going on here? What is in middle school boys? So then because he didn't

complete the assignments, I was like when when he got home from school yesterday, he was like,

what are we going to go do something fun? And I said fun. No, we're going home and you're going

to do your assignments. Ma'am, please tell me why this was the pencil. This was the pencil that he

got out of the store. Complete the assignment. It's literally a nub. Like look at this thing. A nub.

Is he acting like he doesn't have access to any other pencils? What's going on? My crazy thing is

I have replaced like the pencil pouch at least three times this year. And the amount of pencils that

I purchased from Amazon on like the you know like the back to school sale thing, I purchased

probably over a hundred pencils. I'm like that should be sufficient. Yeah. Why one day do they

look like that? And now all these moms and teachers are DMing me telling me that that is like

a middle school boy thing. But like how did they get it that small? How did they just like sharpening

it and sharpening it and sharpening it? It's kind of like when we were in school, when you had like

the pencil sharpener like on the wall, it was like something to do. Yeah. But they don't have

pencil sharpeners on the wall anymore. They have them in their pencil pouch. Yeah. Yeah. What?

Yeah. Yeah. So guess what I did this time. I fixed quick dinner and cleaned up the kitchen,

took myself a bath and got in the bed and watched secret lives of Mormon lives.

Oh goodness. What episode did you get up to? I think eight is your eight. There's ten. Ten, eight.

I'm on episode eight. Okay. Okay. I watched a full thing. And this is this might contain spoilers

for people I've not watched at all. I know it just came out. So feel free to skip forward or come

back. But what do you think about like who's your favorite first of all? My favorite character I think

is Miranda. Miranda? I think she's my favorite character. I think that some people probably like

misunderstand her. I think she is likely like a very genuine person. Oh for sure. There are several

people on that show that I'm like, there is nothing genuine about multiple of these people. And

this is all for reality TV and a paycheck. Yeah. I mean, listen, they got all have an opportunity,

right? And like a lot of people are giving flak to Whitney because the last season was coming out

during Dancing with the Stars. And it was like the same time where she said like I came back to

mom talk because I wanted the Dancing with the Stars opportunity. And like the man based it

didn't like that. And they voted her off Dancing with the Stars because of that. And I'm like,

listen, the show is a stepping point. And I feel like people forget about that. And it's not in

like a mean or malicious way. Like you would do the same thing. Well, Kale and I have kind of dealt

with that a little bit where people are like they are not deserving of X, Y and Z opportunity. And

it's like unless you were in it. And I've said this to so many people like unless you're in it,

you don't understand it. But why wouldn't you take the opportunity?

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. In the last two episodes, I won't spoil it for you. But like, I don't like

Jen. I don't like Jen. Jen is annoying. And her husband has. She just like really pissed me off.

Like I get it. Like you are four weeks postpartum going on Dancing with the Stars, which

100% never had a kid, but I understand that's a big thing to do. But to continue feeling bad

for yourself and not being a good person, it's just like not there for me. Like she was trying to

blame Whitney for like not saying hi to her on Dancing with the Stars. She's like I would see

her multiple times a day. And like she wouldn't you would just say hi. And like we didn't get

closer. And Jen was trying to be like Whitney. Whitney is the one that's like making it this way.

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I mean, I do think that it's kind of hard when there's like film cycles for certain stuff and you've

had a child and you're like in the thick of postpartum and new motherhood and having a new baby

at home and trying to figure out a routine or a schedule. But at the same time, it's like okay,

then don't take the opportunity if it's too much. You know what I mean? Yeah, there was the other,

I forget her name. What's the other? Let me look up the full cast. She was also like a month postpartum

too. It was Jen and then somebody else. Oh, Michaela. Michaela. Yeah, Michaela was also four weeks postpartum

and then all the stuff going on with her husband with like the intimacy. What were your thoughts about

that? Because they got together really young. I didn't realize that. Yeah, so I did actually see

headlines yesterday because I guess the new season aired yesterday on Hulu. And so I saw some

headlines where it was like they split, but then she came out and made a statement. She was like,

yeah, we did, but we're back together and we're working on things. Being in the public eye and

going through relational stuff, I would argue is probably like the hardest part of being in the

public eye when you're going through relational stuff. 100%. 100%. The opinions are out of this

world. So out of touch, like you literally would not know what to do if you were in that person's

shoes. For sure. And regarding the intimacy, I mean, I can kind of relate to that to some degree

because Will was my first. And so when you start, and I was also the first person in my friend group

to get married, the first person in my friend group to have a baby. And when you like link up

that young, and you have never had any other experience. And I almost feel like a hypocrite talking

about it because I believe like to some degree or was raised to save yourself for marriage.

However, there are certain things now like looking back on it. I very much relate to like the

Jessica Simpson-Nicklisha situation. It's like they didn't end up staying together anyway. So like at

that point, what does it matter? I think a lot of people struggle when they see other people

like doing stuff around them. And they're like, okay, I'm stuck in in this. And like our sex life's

not great. And our communication's not great. And you sometimes find yourself trying to live

vicariously through the other people who are doing the stuff that you feel like you can't do.

I can't imagine. I think it's just so hard like for her for it's a lot about trauma. Like sexual

trauma that you went through. And it's hard for her to, you know, want to feel hot and have

fun and have sex because she's thinking about her trauma. And I'm like, oh my god, like that.

I don't know. I think it's just like you have to have a partner. It goes back to that too that

can support you through thick and thin. And like I just think it was like very interesting. I forgot

her husband's name, but like they kept on saying and repeating like his number one thing like

way he feels love is sex. And I'm like, that's the only way, like number one way. You feel sex

and that's the thing that I'm like, it's like, it's like, it's just slippery slope though because I feel

like a lot of people are probably like that. And I think it goes back to like the love languages,

right? You know, his love language, it probably just came across wrong. And it's not really sex.

It's more like the physical touch and the intimacy of being touched. Yeah.

I mean, I could kind of like get behind that a little bit. Yeah. It was also just like they

wouldn't even kiss too. It was another part that they mentioned. And I was like, whoa.

Holy shit. Okay. So did you see where Taylor Frankie Paul's ex came out and said that he slept

with her the night before she left for the bachelor at that pissing off so much. I wanted to punch

the screen. I wanted to punch the screen Lindsay. Like I was literally like, I say I'm totally

130 am the other night because I was like on episode nine and then I was like, let me go to bed.

I was like, absolutely not. She better get on that plane. Like you'll see. I think she missed her

flight, right? She did. And she had to get another one. And like she was there with her whole family,

like her son and her mom and her sister and her aunt who's like her assistant were all in the plane

and she didn't get up to go because she was sick. No, she slept with him. I mean, how do you feel

about her doing that because I have two different like opposing feelings on it? I think, I mean,

listen, I haven't been in a toxic cycle like that, but I've been a best friend of somebody who has

and like at the end of the day, it's like an addiction. Like you can have so many people in your

life being like, don't do that drug. Don't do that drug. This drug will make you XYZ. But then

you're alone with the drug and you relapse and you know, it's bad for you, but it's almost so bad

that it's good. Yep. And you're just addicted to it. So I understand and I have sympathy for Taylor

in that way, but it does frustrate me because you know, the baby daddy, he does stuff to like get

her back in, like sleeps with women in the circle, like sleeps with women. Where do they go? Like London,

like he knows what he's doing. I don't know. I feel like if I was putting myself in her shoes

and I had gotten a lead role on the freaking bachelor at and I was flying out, hopefully my mindset

would not be like, I'm just nilly, willy doing this because then that would be playing with people

who might be there for the right reasons, right? I hope I hope the intent behind her doing that

was not for publicity, but it was defined true love. Maybe it was a thought process that she

was like, this might be the last time I could ever do this. And maybe she needed the closure from

that. I know. But how much more closure do you need with Dakota? That's listening. I have been,

I text you yesterday when we were talking about this. And I said, I relate to this. Like,

I relate being on that little toxic cycle of recycling the baby daddy.

I think so when you will do. I think because that's what you're comfortable with. And even though

it's like I said before, like it's so bad for you that it's good. And like everybody was just so

frustrated with Taylor. And I think deep down, there's still that love there. Is it healthy love?

No. Is it good for you love? No. But it's there. So sometimes so when you have a kid with somebody,

you love them in such a different way because they're sat in your tool bond that it's really hard

to break regardless whether it's toxic or not. And I just can't talk shit about this situation,

which is what I was telling you last night, because I've done it. You know, um, literally

filed for divorce in July and slept with my ex-husband on and off through our entire divorce process.

Like what do you mean? Like we are communicating with attorneys back and forth and we're trying

to reach agreement on stuff and you're sleeping over. Like you're waiting. We are hiding from our

child that we created together so that you can sneak in. Wow. And I mean, it is a very toxic,

ambitious cycle. And I do think that there is some level of comfort. But I remember telling will,

I was like, as comfortable as we are to each other and we created a life together and a child

together, this is actually should be the most uncomfortable time to be doing any of this stuff. Like

if we're so brazen to go out and file for divorce and this is what we're doing. And it's like we're

having conversations. Do not tell the courts that like we slept together because at the point that

you do that, what is it called like re-consumating your marriage? Mm hmm. So then they can move the court

like the date of separation from that day forward. So you know, there was a lot of level of trust

there too of like we know we need this divorce. We're not going to stop doing this. So if you don't

tell, I will tell. Wow. And how long was it like that for? Um, because for Taylor, it's going on

for years. Like I think they've been on and off for years, like three years, years, but intermittently.

And I will say I was absolutely with no one else through my divorce process or anything like that.

Just my ex-husband. Wow. That's insane. I feel like that's so relatable though because like

especially if there's a kid involved, it's a little bit less of the cut and dry, you know? Like

then it makes it so sticky too because it's like you have this little kid and you know that the

life that they're going to live looks very different than what we had intended and what we created.

And now we are sneaking around behind the child that we created together as back.

It's like weird. Yeah, it is weird, but it's better that he doesn't know because then that

alludes to more questions. Exactly. Um, I would say I'm not going to say years. I would say

probably on and off for like a year and a half. Wow.

Well, what made you stop the cycle? Well, I started dating because I'm like, this is not

and that might not have been the healthiest thing either. Um, to go from that and then to start

dating, but I think in my mind, I was like, this cycle will always continue until I step away

from it. Like I have to step away from it and be strong enough and I know if somebody else is

involved, then I won't do it. It's like a temptation, you know? Oh, yeah, it's like a temptation.

It's an addiction like, I know Taylor and Dakota, like they both knew it was unhealthy. Like

she was on the phone. They were on the phone with each other on FaceTime till she walked out

for the road, like starting the last ride. They were on FaceTime together. I'm like, Taylor,

get off the phone. Like, what do we think about him outing that entire situation because to some

degree, I get it from an emotional standpoint. If he's still in love with her and then knowing

that she's like on this journey and she's going to be with someone else, like, is it messy? Yes,

it's very messy. But to some degree, do I understand it? Yes. Also, I understand it, but I feel like

with tough love, it's like you had your chance so many times. Like, and unfortunately, it's just

going to be like the one that got away because you decided to do so many shitty things back-to-back-to-back-to-back.

And like, you lost her. Like, you lost her. Okay, what do we think about Taylor and Chase, though?

That was really random. If I'm going to be honest, I think there was a little bit more backstory

to that that we didn't really get. But I was like, what is going on? I mean,

because Miranda and Taylor have a really, like, they've been through some things, obviously,

but they have a pretty good friendship. And like, I don't know. I just feel like as Miranda,

I would be uncomfortable with that. But maybe that was just like a setup thing, you know,

that they do on shows. I don't know. I mean, if that was my girlfriend and that was my ex-husband,

Deway, I don't give a flying fuck about if they were going to coffee or dinner. At the point

that you were going to coffee with my ex-husband, that's weird. We're no longer talking,

because now I just don't trust you. Like, why are you doing that? Yep. I don't know. They really

brushed that under the rug. It was like a thing for a while. And they're like, okay, anyway. And I

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But in completely unrelated news, you know, after Dallas came back home and Hunter started with me

and it truly has been like such a blessing, but so funny also. And people when I posted him on

my Instagram were like, we need an episode like immediately. Would love to do that. He and I were

actually talking about like creative ideas on how we would do that to actually show our friendship.

And so I'm not going to say what it is, but you and I can discuss that like on the back end for

creative. And I'm just like, this could be, this could be really fine. But no, so I don't think

that he relies what type of a crazy person in life that this actually is. And I just, I think it's

so funny, because before people are in it, they're like, oh, it's just like, very kind

drive podcast. Like it's like, you know, just, he's like, no, that that's actually not what this is.

Came to my house yesterday and there's just trees that I have ordered that are in boxes in my driveway.

Trees. Trees. Trees.

And when I went through like that level of psychosis, where we were ordering like lots of plants

and trees from fast growing trees. Yes, I remember hearing about kills us with that.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I did that last year as well at the same time. And now I've gone and purchased

two different variations of hydrangea trees have no idea where I'm going to put them.

Hopefully I selected the right zone so that they can survive in my climate. But they're just

sitting outside in a box. Right. And how is that going to be planted? Are you planting that?

No, when I called Hunter last night and told him about the trees in the driveway, he was like,

so we need a landscaper. I'm like, yes, we do. So you bought them and didn't think how are they

going to get into the ground? I was never a part of the process. And I feel like that's a lot of

the way that I operate with like a lot of things. Yeah. Like, okay, let me ask you this. Are you a

shopper where you go and like put an entire outfit together when you're at a store and you're like,

okay, I have all the pieces that I need to like make this outfit work or are you the type of shopper

that's like, I really like that. And then you get at home and like nothing matches and it hangs

in your closet with the tags on it for indefinitely option B 100% option B. Yep. I listen,

buying a matching workout set. Nothing goes together. I'm like, okay, definitely option B.

Listen, let me tell you, I got some of the cutest shit from have you used fabletics?

People were asking me about that. They were like, we need Pilates outfits. I got some of the cutest

outfits from fabletics. And I just love ordering from them because it's just like, you don't have to

think. It's really cute and really good material too. And it's inexpensive. It's really affordable.

So what'd you get from there? Like matching sets? I got biker shorts and matching bra and like

the top or the jacket that goes with it. They came out with a dress. So I got that because I'm like,

that could be, you know, cutesy leggings, raw matching jacket. I don't know like 25 items of stuff

that I didn't need. And when I tell you, I am so glad that I was a procrastinator and left that

stuff in the box because Jackson and I were in the bed the other night. He was laying with me.

And I had started laundry in my upstairs laundry room and all of a sudden we heard a bang and we're

like, oh, a robbers here. Like we're dead. No, it was from where the housekeeper put bleach on top

of my dryer. And I guessed it like got uneven. This is a PSA to anybody who uses bleach. Do not put

it on a surface that could have any type of movement because that bleach bottle like the top.

When I hit the ground, it flew off. It went all over the wall, all over the laundry that was in

the floor. It was puddled like underneath the, what's the little like trays that the washer and

dryer go in? Like it's puddled all in that all underneath it. And I'm like, this is not what I

signed up for. Like I had a washing out. Full blow crash out. And it's bleach. So you have to be

like careful. It's not like water everywhere. And so I was like, oh, it got on some whites. So I'm

like, okay, that's like not too bad. Wash them, dry them, go to put on a pair of these cutest

like little pants that I got from Target the other day. Please tell me why when I put them on,

that bleach ate through the crotch of those pants. Just the crotch. I mean, hold this big.

You have to take a photo. I'm like, what the actual hell is transpiring? Also,

so I'm trying to become like a more healthy girly. So I'm going to tell you what I've been working

on. So I've been working on my skin appointments found a place where I can do like a membership.

Like I'm a membership type of girly. You know what I mean? Like I need the accountability to know

that I'm already paying for it because it'll keep me accountable to go. I'm like that with workout

classes. Like if I wasn't going to be charged a cancellation fee, I would probably cancel off the

classes 100%. That's why I tend to make it to Pilates most every single time because if you think

I'm trying to pay $20 on top of the membership fee that I'm already paying. So that's what gets me

there. So I found this skincare place that you can go in like once a month and get a custom facial,

a hydrophacial, a chemical peel, like whatever like you want to do for facial stuff. And then you get

a B12 shot and it's like one membership fee. So when did that yesterday have a dentist appointment

coming up? So I'm like, I'm going to have clean teeth because I think I've decided instead of the

veneer or so I'm going to go the invisalign route. So like that's in in progress. Bleaching my

hair out on Monday. Yeah, I saw that you have a three hour leaching appointment. I know you text

me about that. And I'm like, because I was trying to schedule a podcast and I'm like, what are you

doing in the hair salon for three hours? Hair salon shit. Like do you understand like how long?

So I don't think that people realize like how dark my hair naturally is. So it takes quite

some time for it to live at the same colors your eyebrows. Oh yeah, maybe a little bit darker.

Oh wow. Yeah. So it takes quite some time to lift. But then you know, I also do all the add-on.

So it's like I get in there and I do the extreme color change. And then I'm like, oh, but I need

a treatment. And then I need a trim. And then I need a blowout and

process. Okay. So it's an all day. It's an event. I just want to let you guys know. Lindsey almost

did a podcast recording in the hair salon. Like I did today. And I'm like, no, we can we can do

another day. Like she's like, let's do it. I'm like, no, we can we can move it another day. So I'm

like, all I have to have is my laptop, like, but I'm just thinking like hair dryer, like your hair is

up here. And we're just like, yeah, so my baby daddy, like, no. But wouldn't that be like a cool

concept kind of to just do a podcast in a hair salon? Because I feel like so much shit actually

happens in a hair salon. Like the amount of stuff that I hear it. So actually go to a salon suite

to a girl who does my color and caught an extensions and stuff now. But when I used to go to a

hair salon, I loved going because like the lure of the hair salon. All of the people's problems

that are around you. And it's like, okay, I'm not praying on you, but it makes me feel better about

my life. It's the same thing at like the nail salon. Like, oh my gosh, one time I was getting my

nails done. And this woman was just like telling all of her trauma. And I'm like,

my life isn't that bad actually. Thank you. People trauma dump like places like that. So yeah,

I have a hair appointment next week to start the process, not putting my extensions in until April

before I come to Delaware. Then slightly crashed out thinking that I was going to be going from

Delaware. I don't know why I thought me in April were the same time. You thought you were going

to go from Delaware to LA. I thought I was going, I don't know why my mind went like that.

I'm like, so I'm, let me get this correct. And like, I was not tracking. I'm like, so I'm going

from Delaware and I'm coming home for a couple of days. And then I'm going to LA and I'm going to

be in LA for a couple of days. And then I'm coming home for a couple of days. And then I'm going to

New York for a couple of days. Like, is this right? And hunters like, no, no, like we're talking about

two separate months. Oh, man. So I love that for me. And then let's see, what else? Oh,

I'm starting to meal prep on Sundays. Wow. Okay, blow up. Okay, self-care. What are we meal

prepping? Well, actually, it's not just me. We're going to have a girls. And when I say girls,

it's a girl in the gay, the girl, you know, the girl in the gay, we're going to have little

powwow sessions, mental health checks on Sunday. And we're probably going to find a reality TV show

to watch and have one on the background, probably drinks and Perseco, you know, love that he

knows how to grill and knows how to use a stove because I don't really use mine. But we're thinking

bowls like a Mexican version of a bowl, like a Mediterranean bowl. And maybe like an Asian.

Okay, I have a question for you. How many days, because it's like meal prepping, yes, but also

it's leftovers. How many days can something be in a fridge for leftovers? Because I got into a

debate about this with my girlfriend the other day, because I was eating, I was like, she's like,

what did you eat for dinner? I'm like, oh, this pasta. She's like, you had that pasta, you made that

pasta four days ago. It's bad. I'm like, I like think so. Okay, Madison, I'm thinking I'm more in

line with her. So it's weird, because when I was married, we'll used to, we'll, we'll use

to meal prep for us. I think every Sunday or Monday, and I used to talk about it on coffee combos,

he made like taco bowls. And it was the, the easiest thing ever. And he would make enough for

our weekly lunches. For some reason, because I was like meal prepped in my kitchen,

and I know when it was cooked, I find with eating it for like lunch for the work week.

But if it was leftovers from a restaurant, okay. Number one, I'm probably not bringing it home

in the first place. But if I did, because I loved it so much, that's like a next day thing, or yeah,

that's different. I'm talking about leftovers that I cooked. Oh, that you cooked. Yeah, I think

that's fine. Four days, I think that's fine. Yeah, exactly. No, from a restaurant, like maybe I'm

having it the next day, like, but actually, it's more sort of like the guilt that I have leftovers

over the food that I just paid for. And I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go eat it. Probably not. Like,

yeah, I always try when I go out with girlfriends and stuff. I'm like, can we do like splitsies?

Can we get like a couple of apps and split? Because I do not, I really did not grow up on

leftovers. And people are gonna say, oh, that's a champagne problem. No, my dad just like did not

like leftovers. So Julie always cooked like every single night, a new meal. Wow. We didn't do

leftovers. So didn't grow up on that. Don't love it. You used to drive me nuts whenever I was

married to Will because that man would eat something that was in their refrigerator for two weeks

and not think twice about it. Oh, two weeks is way too long. Absolutely not. But okay, what do we

think about saving like half of a sub sandwich? And then the bread's all soggy. I was gonna say,

I can't do it if the bread is soggy. I can't do it. Then just like wrap it up, just say,

lost cause. I can't get behind it. There are people who also do not like leftovers that will

bring them home, put them in their fridge and then throw them away. I'm like, you could have just

missed that entire step. That's such a waste of time. So I think I'm going to start filming like

our Sundays, like our Sunday hangs, you know, and show the things that were meal prepping. Thank

God. Hunter knows how to cook because like it's just not in my role of decks of things that I

number one love to do or that I'm necessarily really good at. Like I'm good at. You're good at

less than the power washing department. I absolutely what when I when I tell you that I can

all wait for tomorrow to come because I have two dusty ass porches that need to be cleaned off

so bad. And I'm trying to figure out. Okay, so people who have porches that put rugs on their

porches, like how do you clean those? The rugs? Yeah. Like rugs on the porch. They're like outdoor

rugs, but I mean debris gets on it. I'm sure like pollen's on it. Do we take it to like an old

school laundromat? Or do we pressure wash it? I feel like pressure wash it because it's not

like it needs like a deep, it's not like an indoor carpet, right? Where you need to like get a

stain out per se. So I would say pressure wash it, but I don't know. But see the pressure washer

and this is this is a problem that I have. And it's probably because I'm not a professional,

but I love doing it. I'll get too close sometimes. And then you like start seeing the lines where

certain areas are cleaner than others. And it's like, okay, now the rug needs to be thrown away.

Because I'm going to hyper fixate. Like it's going to be a hybrid. Now I need a whole new floor.

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Yes, a whole new floor. Oh, let me tell you something else. It's so crazy to happen to me this week.

So hunters here and I was at Pilates, I come home and he's sitting at the counter and he's like,

you got a ticket. Oh, and I'm like a ticket. A ticket from what? He's like, sun pass.

Sir, no, I did not. Like, what are you talking about? That's one of those scams and you just put

my credit card information on that. Oh, no, it was not a scam. It was my actual vehicle.

Oh, you went to Florida. I went to Florida, but not in the dates that they said that was on the

ticket. It said I was in Florida on February the 23rd. That's when it said that the photo was taken.

I was not in Florida on February 23rd. I was in Florida in December. What? Yes. So how did they,

it was at your license plate? It was my license plate. It was my vehicle. It literally looked like

the photo. I wish I still had it, but he threw it away. The photo of my car looked like I was getting

away from something like a crime. Okay. So what? So how do you fight that if you weren't in the,

like, what's it? $18? Just like a toll. It said it was a toll. I don't even remember going

through a toll. I'm sure I probably did. Like, that's probably why I got to, because I don't

ever remember doing it. But I'm just like, how are you about your telling people that they were in

a state that they weren't in on those dates? At that point, like, stop trying to take my $13

and just call it a wash. Like, you don't even know when I was there. Wait, that's crazy.

Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. And so he was like, I need, he was like secondary. I need to know

where your internet router is. And I'm like, my what? And he's like, your router? I said, yeah,

I know. But like, my what? Yeah. What? Yeah. So I take him into my office. And I show him the

extenders. Is that what they're called? Like the, yeah, Wi-Fi extenders, yeah. Yeah. So I have to have

two extenders in this house, because I don't know why they just extend it easily. I can only go so far.

Yeah. Do you know that I still have not, this was on Tuesday, I believe? I still have not located

said router. Like, if I was a router, where would I be? I would guess, like, maybe under your TV,

like a lot of people do it under there, no? We've looked everywhere. Do you remember when they

were setting up internet in your house? No, I was going through a breakup and I guess I just

blacked out. Like, have you ever had trauma in your life where you go through like long period of time?

And you're like, I remember nothing from that time period. Oh, I don't. Yeah, I have patches of my

life where I'm like, don't remember at all. Also, I learned that SSRIs, if you are off of them,

like, you don't take them consistently and like, you miss a couple days, whatever, it can

fuck with your memory. Which tracks? What? Yes. Wait, are you on an SSRI? Yeah. Okay, so I had a bad

reaction to an SSRI. So I don't know, obviously, you've listened to coffee combos because you're on

there, but I was telling Kale that my intrusive thoughts, like, time period after I had Jackson,

I'm like, I need to go to the doctor and like, get on something because this is going to take me out.

Like, these thoughts are never stopping. So doctor is like, okay, I'm going to put you on this SSRI

and like, we're going to try it. Whatever. Please tell me why I woke up and I felt like bugs were

crawling on me. Oh, no. No, no, no. So I don't know if that's like an allergy. I don't know if like,

I don't know what's when we're taking. I can't remember. I can, I'll have to go back to my

medical records to see because I actually found a new therapist this week that I'm meeting with

tomorrow. And I'm super excited about it. Did not realize how much that I missed therapy

and now that I've reached the crash out phase, I'm like, I, I really need to get like back into

doing that. So I'm really excited because it's going to be like an in-person situation.

Yes. I was looking on my calendar because I was like, oh, I thought I had something tomorrow and

I'm like, what is this? You're like, am I giving Lindy therapy? Yeah. You're like, I did not sign up.

Yeah, I was like really confused. It said like Madison therapy and I was like, huh?

She's like, you were like, wait, is Lindy putting me in therapy? Yeah, I thought it was like

some type of session and I was like, huh? Yeah. So I have my initial intake with her tomorrow and

it's like a 15 minute intake and I was telling her I'm like, Mr. Sir, like, I'm not sure that 15

minutes that I can, no, like trauma dump, like I don't think I can trauma dump that fast on all

of the things that need to be gone over. But it's just like an initial intake, but I'm excited

because I've always done virtual therapy, which I think is a great option and it worked for me

definitely through the divorce process trying to figure out like when I was going to have Jackson

when I wasn't being able to work, like having the flexibility of being able to be at home.

But now my mindset's like totally different. I want to go into a therapy office so that I can leave

that stuff there. Yeah. Does that mean sense instead of it being like in my house and I never

escape it? Yeah. I feel like also so much of your job is virtual. So it would be great for some

things to be in person and not on a screen and you could feel emotion and like just have that

physical space for yourself. So I'm really excited about it. She kind of

does like a plethora of different types of therapy services. So couples, individual, family,

children, 10 and up, I think, and also EMDR, which is something that I have considered doing.

I'm just like a little bit fearful and I think that I need to get like some therapy with a new

therapist under my belt before I dip my toes into EMDR. I don't know why I'm so scared to do that.

What exactly is it? What is him EMDR? Yeah, I've heard of it, but let me see.

Well, I want to read the, so it's called EMDR, I movement, D-sensitize, how do you say that word?

D-sensitization. Yep. It's such a hard, okay?

And reprocessing a structured psychotherapy that helps people heal from traumatic memories and PTSD

by using bilateral stimulation such as eye movements or tapping to reduce the emotional

intensity of distressing events. And it says it operates in eight phases focusing on reprocessing

memories rather than detailed verbal narration. I think that would be something that

would be helpful for me. I just don't really like trying new things, but I plan to talk to

her about it because I have two girlfriends that I follow on Instagram, mom bloggers that

we're just posting about EMDR like this past week. So I'm like, wait, is that like the universe

sign that like I need to do EMDR? Maybe. I think it's just hard. Like you have to put yourself

and feel that trauma and like relive it essentially, right? And how do you know when you're ready?

I don't think you ever know that you're ready. I think there's a point where it's like, okay,

if you're going to do this therapy, yes, it will be traumatic, but will you hurt yourself like

or others by doing it? Yes, no. Okay, no. Then maybe you're qualified for something like that.

Because I have a question like people with like, you know, major PTSD, it would really be helpful

for them if it's like affecting your day-to-day functioning. That's what I mean.

Oh, it definitely affects my day-to-day functioning for for dang sure. And I don't know like,

I don't know how it's going to make me feel. I don't think I've actually ever been into a

therapist office before other than doing virtual. So I think that'll just be like a whole

different kind of experience. But after the last thing that I went through with David,

I think it unlocked like a lot of stuff for whatever reason. And then I just felt like the world

was crashing. And so I know that you and I have kind of talked behind the scenes about doing an episode

discussing like, shall we call it the downfall of David? And I definitely want to do that,

but I also want to be in a place to where I can respectfully do that and not out of a place of anger.

100%. And you should be proud of yourself for going back to therapy. Like a lot of people are

scared to take that first step and like go back because you could have just been like,

oh, my therapist squid on me. I'm done. Like one of them. But I just, I mean, there's a lot of

things that I want to talk about. I think that that situation with David unlocked a bunch of stuff

that like, I really haven't dealt with. And I'm kind of living my life like, oh, well, if I just

keep ignoring those things, then eventually they'll just go away. And then after that happened,

it's like I was dealing with emotions of stuff that I had ever never even cried about before.

So I'm like, okay, like I definitely therapy is calling. And I need to go. I don't know when

I'm going to be ready to talk about the David stuff. Like I think you'll know when you're ready.

You'll feel it like it could be, you know, whatever. I mean, like there's no timeline on it.

There was no pressure on it. You don't owe anybody anything. A question I have for you because

you said you only did virtual therapy. Yeah, you ever do therapy as a kid. Like when your parents

got divorced, did you ever do therapy? Really? Never did you? I did. I did like one session,

but I was young. So it was just more so like a thing through the court. But then I remember

when I was 16, I was like really, really depressed. And my dad got a therapist through

insurance. And it's like before the era of like online therapy, better health. So it was in this

church and like very odd, very traumatic. She's just it was like no hate to anybody that's super

religious. But that's just like not how I was raised really, you know, super religious household.

But she was just telling me like God would get rid of my anxiety. And I'm like, well, I don't

think so. Like it's just here. Like I'm not doing anything. It's like you can pray it away. Yeah,

basically. Yeah. When it's a chemical balance in my brain, which I learned. So I just lied,

actually, I have been in a therapist office now that you just said that about like the church.

So when I was going through my mirrored all struggles the first time around back in 2016,

2017, I went to my pastor and had a conversation. It was like, are there any like good therapist

through the church services and stuff like that that we can go to? Maybe like a religious-based one

would be best. We went to a couple of sessions there. And I don't know like to each their own.

But to your point, there are certain things that maybe I just wasn't ready for the religious

aspect of that to be a part of my journey. And so once I realized that was like, yeah, like this is

just this is never going to work. I think it's just an added layer for me that's not really needed

in therapy. Like I don't need to be religion into my mental health personally. It's like my

mental health needs to be my mental health and my walk with the Lord needs to be like on its own

journey. And so I completely agree with that. I honestly think that will and I probably would have

had a greater chance if we wouldn't have tried to mix religion in that process because it's also

somewhat shameful for some of the stuff that's like some of the stuff that we were discussing

in those therapy sessions were like very normal for humans to do. Yeah. But you felt like there's

a lot of shame that it's a religion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so that was like really, really difficult.

But no, we never, well, I think my brother, my brother went through therapy when my parents

divorced. But I never did. But again, that kind of speaks to where I'm at now because I was,

you would have like never known when I was growing up like anything was ever wrong. It was just

kind of like, okay, head down. I'm going to do what I'm told. This will all go away. I don't need

to address this. And now at 36 years old with a 13 year old child, multiple failed relationships,

I'm like, okay, I probably should have been doing this when I was six, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

And it's great that you're realizing it now because so many people don't ever realize their

patterns, how they grew up as unhealthy. And you're realizing that and you're like, okay, well,

I don't want my son to grow up thinking this way. So yeah, you should be very proud of yourself to

recognize those patterns. Well, thank you so much. I want to watch this viral cheating video.

Okay. You know, like it, it like fits, you know? Yeah. It's, it's kind of insane.

It's kind of insane. Okay. It's literally better not be about me. It's not about you.

Have it be like, if Madison, if you do that to me today, no, it's just lady.

Madison, I had to, you had to see that video. Diabolical, right?

It is crazy, but I feel like it's so common. I feel like people will just lie till they die.

You know, no, it's so crazy. But like, what a girls girl. A girls girl and I wish that girl was my

friend. I actually really realized how some girls can be such girls girls when I just went

through my most current situation. It's like, why do men think that they're like getting a

leg up on somebody? I don't think they're so smart. Like, have you ever talked to a woman?

We'll always be a little bit smarter. We'll always know what's going on before even.

And it's also like, when they give certain details of stuff,

like that video that we just watched. Okay. I'm going out with like the guys and we're giving

specific people that you're going out with. Okay. So now we're all of those people looped in

to your liar. They unaware. Because now I'm going to start texting them to be like, oh,

hey, hope you'll have a good guys day. And it's like, what? Oh, exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Like, I feel like I couldn't, I could not be her. I could not do it. And I also, if,

if some girls sent me a message like that, number one, I'm immediately calling.

Number two, I don't give a shit about the setup at that point because I know exactly what you're

trying to do. And I'm not playing that. It's just so crazy. And now she has her own

business like doing this for people. Like she created like, she did. She literally did. I think

this video popped off so much that she did like a couple of requests and she's like, hey guys,

you can like fill out my Google form to like see if you're man's cheating loyalty test.

I need to, well, honestly, like brilliant business move, but like,

brilliant business move, but like also the amount of trauma that's involved in that, the trauma

and the drama. I know. I know. Um, do you want to do a voicemailer too? Yes, I do. Okay.

I am a bioman. I share my daughter who is almost 16 with my ex. We have a really good relationship

and still could, but his wife is awful and farts herself into everything. And just really

complicate situations and she's an instigator behind my back. She'll say things to my daughter

like, oh, your mom just got back to us when it's been like five minutes or your mom never tells

us anything. When I tell them everything, they just don't write anything down or keep track of

anything. I'm definitely the one who manages everything. And when we're getting along,

that's all good and great because they don't want to do anything. But when they're mad at me for

whatever reason, now all of a sudden, I'm controlling just a really fucking funny, but

what do you do? How do you handle a stepmom who is awful and brings down the dynamic

and tell your daughter things behind her back, your back to make her think that more of the villain.

Oh, I feel like there's so many ways that I could go with this because I've had to learn

over a period of time and just trial and error and probably time that there are certain relationships.

My son's going to have with people that I'm not necessarily going to have, right? And

you have to be at a place and I know it's so hard for so many people that when you separate or

you divorce or you've moved on and your ex partner has picked a new partner, you have to trust

like what's going on in that house and trust the person that you were with to vet that entire

situation. And I don't understand it because I feel like I went through like such a place of I

don't want will to necessarily be with anybody, but like I don't want to be with them. You know what

I mean? There's like a lot of emotions that are mixed up in that and then when you mix a child

into that and it's like, okay, I don't want will to be with anybody, but I don't want to be with

them, but I also don't want to get around somebody else like there are so many emotions in situations

like that. In this specific situation, the daughter sounds like she's 16 years old, so there's

really not much time left, although two years could probably seem like a lifetime if you're dealing

with stuff like this. Kill me to good point to say like once your kids get to a certain age,

communicate with them, like do a shared calendar where everything's on there, so you don't

necessarily have to communicate, right? So all of Jackson's event and stuff either will put it

on the calendar if it's like on his time or I put it on the calendar if it's on my time,

and it's all visible right there in a shared calendar and it makes it so easy. I was talking to

one of my guy friends not too long ago and he went through a divorce, but their situation was

very amicable and he was showing me this app that he and his ex-wife use and he's like it's

it's been such a life saver. Unfortunately in certain situations, you're just like never going

to win and that stepmom's gonna have her side of the story. You're gonna have your side of the

story and the truth lies somewhere there in the middle, but at some point you do just have to say

your obligation is not to her and her obligation is not necessarily to you, it's to your ex and

to the relationship that they have with your daughter, so I think like shared calendar.

Shared calendar and I think try to keep those conversations in that conflict away from the

daughter as much as possible. Did your parents have any issues like that at all?

Um, I mean like not to out my dad's stuff, but he was engaged like a plethora of times,

like I couldn't tell you how many like women at some point I got introduced to.

He was not afraid of commitment. Yeah, it was like all time, this is my girlfriend,

this is my thing. I'm like at a certain point, like even after I moved out of the house,

he dated maybe this is over a span of eight years like two women, right? When I met them,

I was like, okay, I mean, that's like, are you excited? I was like, well, I know they're not

going around, so like I'll like keep you with them, but like, I don't know, I'll be cordial, but

I don't know, it's such a state like situations with step parents and like bioparents, it's such a

sticky thing because in one hand, I'm like, I need to directly be communicating with will like that

too. I had our child with, so I need to be directly communicating with him, but if the relationship

is respectful with the other person, I probably at this point, I don't feel like I've always felt

this way, but at this point in my life, if will brought somebody else into his life and they were

a decent kind loving human being, I would probably feel more comfortable communicating with the

woman and not will. Because you would almost understand her more than him. Yes. You guys would

get along. Because I've been in situations before and I think this has also been a part of my

change of perspective because I've dated people with children and seen me being like the outsider

in that situation and there are a lot of times that that is like a debilitating feeling. When you

see stuff going on and you're just like, what the fuck is it? Like can people not be normal?

I think that that changed my mindset a lot of like that other person isn't the enemy. In certain

situations, they could be right because it could have been like an affair partner or whatever, but

I would say probably for the majority of people, that's not the situation. So I'm not going to treat

somebody like an enemy that I ain't my enemy. Very true. I think you want to do one more?

Yeah. Okay. We'll do one more. Forgot to say, this is distorted. So I did. This is distorted.

Yeah. Okay. Distorted. So it's a woman speaking, but it's really distorted. So just okay.

Fair warm. I have the voice. I said I dated this guy that I worked with and he was so polite and

nice and whatever. We've lived in different cities until six months in and he wanted me to start

calling him Christy and he wanted to call me a boyfriend, Jimmy. And he wanted me to dress up

as a boy and put on a big white builder and fuck him up the ass. And I think it was strategic

that he waited until six months because of that point. I'm like, can I kind of invest it in

and maybe just another person may think that you do? And I was like, don't share. Oh,

make sure. Oh, no. With that, we can do that. Then it snowballs. He wanted to start taking hormones.

I don't have any place with him because he I went through a phone. He would try and do some

like crazy with and it's at home with people. And it wasn't for me. And I was like,

well, like I think you need to just go on down the street and get your fuck off. It's not

that what I'd say with a boy. It cannot be me anymore. And now it's crazy. She's like married with kids.

I'm like, she and have a clue of the fuck she's with. It was the most bizarre thing. Like I have

a little PhD from it. Just like me having to dress up and like a man's suit and tie.

Well, he's in the back. You're giving him something. And then I thought you're fucking with

a 12-inch white beat. Are you fucking kidding? That I will you go over the only ones that

will know the story. I'm taking this to the green. But if you get any signs from a guy like that,

you put a one-year-old add to the shield today. Something like that. Either you gain, you're not,

you buy, but we don't need to be role-playing and switching places. And I've suddenly

gotten nothing out of spinning him over and fucking him with this big old black dick.

Okay, I'm not meaning to laugh, but it's just like crazy. It's crazy.

Wow. Like the way that she was saying it and then the distorted voice kind of like took me for a

loop. Number one, I think that people need to understand that if you were in any type of situation

and you were doing something that you're uncomfortable with regardless of the amount of time that you

have invested, don't do it. I think that's like number one. Number two, to say, oh, well, I think it

was like strategic to wait for six months to do this. No, for six months, you evidently lived a lie.

I've been honest to you, but like for six months, you lived a lie. If that was ever my situation and

someone said I'm dressing up in a suit and tie. And I am pegging them. I am pegging them with

a large dick. And then I found on their phone that they were doing shady stuff on Craigslist

and their butthole was raw. I gotta go. Like I gotta go. I have to see my way out. Yeah.

Because what do you mean? Your butthole's raw. And like how did it? What do you mean that she was

putting on a strapline? See? What do you mean? What do you mean? Could you imagine? No. And what

podcast did I say? I think it was on coffee converse with Kale. I'm like, okay, in that situation,

I can't be upset because I cannot compete with dick. No. You know, so if like my parts ain't what

you're looking for, then that's not personal. Yeah, it's not personal. And it's truly it's not a

personal situation. Like what's personal to me at this point is you abandoned me. That's what's

personal. And I don't want to be involved in a situation like that. I also would be taken out

if that situation happened to me. And then I'm just like randomly scrolling on Facebook and see

that that person is married with now wife and children because what do you mean? Yeah. Talk about

not speaking your truth. Holy shit. Wow. I just can't. But if anybody wants to leave us a voicemail

for listener advice or just you want to spill the tea like this person did because this person

will leave nothing out. Do not forget if you want to submit a question ask for advice or just

fill some tea. You can call our Southern tea hotline at nine two nine three three six three eight

six and you can leave your message and we might play it on the show. Thanks so much for joining me

today Madison. I am now since everybody I just told my entire business on this episode. I am now

going to the nail salon. I'm getting these rusty dusty nails taken off and then I'm going to the

cat wax. So the cat wax period. Yeah. The cat wax. We're happy. That's what I'm doing for the rest

of afternoon. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week. If you have not subscribed to the show

you can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your pods. Always first at podcast one.

We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Hi I'm Stasi Schroeder. On my podcast I share candid updates from my personal life chat

with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives give commentary on the latest

pop culture headlines and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with like human

design. It's a bit all over the place but that's how I like it and you will too listen to my podcast

Stasi wherever you get your podcasts.