Crushed Bananas, Berghain & How often should you be Cleaning your Towels

This is a global player, original podcast.

Hello and welcome to Vogue and Amber, a lip-hot guest.

We are coming to you live, we're both in Dublin.

Ireland, where the sun is splitting the stones.

I do say that in Irish, Amber.

I've forgotten.

I can say to you in French.

No, oh my god.

No, Tar on green.

Tar on a green egg squill.

No, squill.

Amber, shut up.

So you've had a bit of technical issues here.

I told you not to mention that.

That's boring.

Tar on green.

Yeah, Amber, sorry.

Tar on green, egg squill.

Nick Caragocca.

Oh my god.

In French?

Play.

Why can't I talk about it?

So basically we had issues.

Greg Margaret?

No, Amber.

I said.

I got banana, got crushed in my bag.

And it's gone crushed into one of the ports.

I don't even like.

I don't even like bananas.

Stop eating them.

You don't like them.

Do you remember when you'd be in school and your yogurt would burst?

You'd be like, no.

Are you saying school?

Because you know, you always get like milk in school.

And one year you get the plain milk.

But there was so many, it'd be like hot milk.

And then you'd be like, you get notions.

You'd be like, oh, you know, when I go with strawberry milk,

which was so disgusting when it got worse.

Yeah, we used to go and we had a box of milk.

God knows why they were doing this thing.

Maybe that's why I love milk so much.

I used to, also, we had this teacher in our primary school.

I must have only been about six because it was the first primary

school number.

Shame.

And she used to give us one flump.

Like, you know, there's many marshmallows,

but like the penny was penny sweet.

So they'd be tiny.

And I would say for that I would honestly.

Like you.

And never.

Yeah, just so.

Maybe there for an hour,

which was marshmallow on my aunt.

Mo, did you?

In our class, we had like a pair of nickers down the back of the class

for whoever pissed themselves.

I have to say.

I have to wear them a few times.

Oh, yeah.

I'm a Jesus Christ.

The divorce really upset.

I'm right.

I never had to wear the nickers.

I was thrilled.

I was getting so full of everything.

It was like a treat.

Fresh pair next to the day.

Oh, no.

Oh, fair play to teachers.

Honestly.

I didn't poo poo myself.

A wee wee wasn't too bad.

I mean, you're in primary school.

Like not many people in primary school shit their pants.

Jesus.

I wasn't me.

But don't say that to email.

That's mean.

I never did it in primary school.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't poo poo myself.

A wee wee wasn't too bad.

I mean, you're in primary school.

Like not many people in primary school shit their pants.

I was in primary school.

I was an adult.

Okay.

I don't know what it was.

Okay.

Well, you said it.

Not me.

I remember in year three, there was a boy that pooed himself in class.

What age are kids in year three?

Uh, year three.

I would do a five to six, seven.

Want to say?

Six.

Six.

Six.

Seven.

Uh, yeah.

He was set off set, man.

He pooed himself.

Like, why?

Because he was just holding it in, like pulling a fence.

Yeah, I guess so.

Okay.

Do you know when you have, like obviously, when you have kids, you wouldn't know this if

you don't have kids, basically, but if you have kids, and eventually, like, you know, they

obviously poo and they're not bees.

Eventually they start getting shy about us.

And so they'll try and hide.

And they're like, you're hide.

But like, they just stop.

So they can do their poo with bees.

There's a whole TikTok edit of that of kids pooing.

That's what I mean.

Like, people are like, what would you not post?

I'm like, things that would embarrass my children.

Like, I don't want, I wouldn't post them throwing a wobbler or like, pooing.

Like, he shouldn't do that.

That's, would you like a picture of you on the internet, pooing?

No.

Oh, no.

There was big news in our house this week.

Oh.

A tea.

Now, people will find this unusual because tea is eight in September.

He lost his first tooth.

I mean, I don't know who was more excited than me or him.

It was the most exciting Monday evening I've had in quite some time.

Because he kept coming over to me with it.

And I was like, ugh.

Because it was like half eight.

And then whatever way he twisted it, it was twisted down.

And he couldn't get a five.

I was like, whoa.

No.

And I think we Googled it and work.

Because I tell people in work and they are absolutely bold over there.

Like, what?

Six.

I think it's the average age.

Which I even thought was quite old.

Yeah.

No, I know.

Well, sorry.

He's obviously brushing his teeth quite well.

I took him to the dentist a couple of times because I was like, is this normal?

Is this normal?

But you can see all of his big teeth when he smiles because his teeth are so small.

But we probably lost all our teeth because we ate so many sweets.

That's not how I lost my teeth.

I'm deeply traumatized from when I lost my teeth because of what happens.

Well, I'm sorry.

It was a very traumatizing experience.

Emma, have I not told you?

Have I said this in the pod?

Well, let's see if she recollects this correctly, Emma.

So you know what?

You've got a chair that you sit in.

If it's a natural chair, you've got one leg.

And it's basically, it's two legs.

So it loops around.

It's like a U shape.

I was using one of the legs that had broken off a chair.

And I was using it as a same refrain pretending I couldn't walk.

So I went over.

That's an amber pistol herself.

I pretended I was hurt all the time.

Give me attention.

Give me attention.

Do you remember that time when I had coaches and everything?

I was not wrong.

Do you remember that?

We did that in school.

Susan did that.

We were late to school one morning.

And I was like, I have a pair of coaches in the boots.

So we pretended that she needed extra help getting up to try and wait to school.

That's why we were late.

You were in secondary school there.

But she had to keep, yeah, we were like 17, 18.

But then she had to stay in the coaches for two or three days.

The coaches are exhausting if you have to be on them.

No, but anyway, I was using the Zimmer frame.

Then I went to go into the garden shed and there was a step.

And I missed the step.

And then the bar came back and hit me in the face.

And I think I lost four on top and four on the bottom.

And my mouth was just really black and swollen.

Let's go to the dentist to get some of them taken out then.

And I remember being the supermarket and like people just like.

I thought it was because I was chasing you in the back garden.

Or that was out in Spain.

No, no, no, no.

That's when you were, that's when I knew you were a lesbian.

That was my big tooth when I had my big teeth.

And Amber was chasing me around the pool telling me

she was going to give me maith to maith.

And the threat was so real.

You got to practice CPR.

You never know when you'll need it in.

I was especially on holidays in Spain.

Legged it.

And then I broke off my front tooth.

It was just my big tooth.

And I remember going upstairs and putting on cartoon network

and crying.

Oh, my God.

You remember cartoon network?

Yeah.

That was a great.

Nice.

I love the role.

Do you remember the role.

That's Emma.

You too young for that.

Oh, no, we had the regrets.

And hey, Arnold.

Mm hmm.

Oh, yeah.

I'm here so like Helga Pataki.

And so what other news have you got for your week?

So T.T.

Last Tuesday.

I'm the word desperate to know what you've been up to.

Because you don't have to.

I do actually.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

A banana got crushed in my bag.

It's creating havoc with AV.

No, I actually was hosting a table quiz last night for.

It was fundraising for the pink ladies hockey club, which is a gay hockey club for girls.

I don't know.

I wouldn't be asking that type of stuff.

That's the first thing I ask about everything.

I'm like, I'll follow up today, but I was very anxious before it was happening.

Ammo.

And I texted folks.

I was like, Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus.

I'm feeling really anxious.

You know the way you're looking for a bit of just moral support.

Her response.

Do you want to hear something?

You'll be grand.

I was at my own event.

Thank you.

You'll be grand.

Well, were you grand?

Was I right?

I was grand.

I was grand.

I made some jokes.

I was like, and tonight I'd be scoring you.

You won't be scoring me.

You know, points because I was on dancing with the stars.

Which, oh, sorry.

And I'm going back next week for the final.

So have a group rehearsal of a group dance.

So hopefully there's not too much heat on it.

And don't you worry about that.

No, you go and you hold your head up high.

Okay.

Does not matter what everyone else is saying.

I'll find those crutches.

I'll find those crutches.

So I get a free pass.

And we obviously went.

I didn't finish what I was saying about the.

So when I was going over, this is.

I found this very funny.

Well, it made me laugh quite a lot.

We were going up.

When I was going over to the bridge this Saturday morning,

me and Leah had had a little disagreement on the Friday evening.

And I was just like just texting you just in case the plane goes down.

Lovely lots or whatever, you know what I mean?

She was being a little bit stubborn.

And she was just like, hope you endure terrible turbulence.

Then she said, if you've ordered any food, I hope you get food poisoning.

She said there was a Ryan Air flight recently that was millimetres away from a collision with another plane.

Hope it's the same.

Hope it's the same pilot.

And then she was like, Adji, you're only going to Manchester.

No hope of a collision.

So be nice.

And she was like, it was nice knowing you.

And then she was like, you know what?

Bring me when you land.

If you land.

I'm actually you need to do a clear roast because if something like that does happen to you,

I'm not dealing with us.

It wasn't joke.

I know I'm going to throw her under the bus on Sunday.

She got out in Saturday night.

I tend to agree with Leah a lot of the time.

Just Amber.

Amber will bring me there.

And I'm like, no, Leah's right.

Fuck off.

Basically on Sunday, she had been out in Saturday night.

So she had a nap.

Leah is Amber's girlfriend.

Sorry.

We're getting to know her.

Because you're only now unleashing Leah.

Like it was very hidden and cloak.

And listen, she might be hidden back away.

Okay.

She's on the night at the moment.

But basically, I was planning on having an app after Manchester.

Because they woke me up obviously at like half six or something like that.

But I got home and then I started watching.

I finished that one under the salt marsh.

You know, very good.

I also finished the beast to me.

Wow.

Unbelievable.

So scary.

The last three episodes were very, very.

Wow.

I can't believe it.

But anyway, I was going to go for a nap on Sunday.

She went for a nap.

Do you know how long her nap was?

How long?

Four and a half hours.

That's a sleep.

That's, I was like, that's nearly a full night's sleep for some people.

Four and a half hours.

I said, that is not, that is not humanly possible to have an app for four.

And then after she went to bed at nine o'clock that night, no problem.

Some people are just, Joanne's like that as well.

And Joanne can just sleep now.

Now, I did.

I fell asleep yesterday.

Even I was like, let's see.

I got into bed yesterday.

I had an hour before I was getting my hair makeup done for yesterday night.

And for last night, yesterday night.

And I fell asleep by accident.

I only knew when I went to look at my aura at the end of the day.

I was like, oh, Jesus.

There's a 22 nap in there.

Isn't that lovely?

Oh, well, that's when you know you're old.

You don't even realize you've had a nap.

Oh, it's lovely.

I love those naps because you're just like, because you're not under any pressure to nap.

So you're just like, oh, they do tell you not to nap for more than 15 minutes.

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I was at the...

EY Young Entrepreneur of the Year.

Women's Forum last night.

I was...

I was talking at it.

And you know, you kind of feel like a fishhead of water.

Like, before I went, I was like, here's all these, like, mat.

Like, CEO is hugely incredible.

Successful women on my heart.

The best time.

Like, listening to people like that is...

Like, I just want to be in a room with them all the time.

It's so inspiring.

And just to see how well.

Like, because women...

There's a lot...

Like, it's not...

It's for women and men.

But they're just to sort of steal women's forum at dinner last night.

Because International Women's Day is coming up and all that kind of stuff.

And...

But it's just...

It's such an amazing program.

Have you ever heard of it, Emma?

No.

My God.

It's been going 29 years.

And they basically...

They'll pick, like, 24 people.

And then there's an ultimate winner of the entrepreneur of the year.

And, like, amazing people have won it in the past.

But they...

They get to, like, spend time with all these huge, hugely successful business owners.

And, like...

They all, like, kind of swap stories and, like, swap tips.

And the CEO of Enterprise Ireland, Jenny Media, was talking.

And she is...

Like...

She looked like she'd be quiet.

And she was so funny and so brilliant.

Like, just has this massive job.

And she was explaining how she got it.

Like, you know, the way you go for job interviews, obviously.

She was like, I was going to that job interview.

Like, I had the job.

And she was like...

Like, I just...

I just kind of emerged.

She emerged herself into trying to get the job.

Like, I think I'd be so frightened if I had to go for a job interview.

Like, I haven't...

When was the last time I did that?

I tell you.

And when I worked in that building, so I actually lied through my teeth and got the job.

I thought you were going to say what you worked in this so much job.

I didn't need...

Mom got me that job.

Mom went up and got me the job.

I was a gardener.

You wouldn't mind doing a few...

Like, you could do some deadheading out there if you were asked.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't get it.

Garden?

No.

No, not at the garden.

My gardening days are done, folks.

It's a very small garden.

What is the gardener here?

I only like to do big gardens where I get to ride a tractor.

Okay.

Something...

Well, I tell you, I made the weird thing that happened to me this week.

Okay.

Sometimes people will send me mail.

And it will say Vogue,

Hope,

and it gets to me,

which is...

Thank you for the postman,

but I also don't really want to...

The postwoman we have at the postwoman.

Do we have a postwoman?

Yeah, I can't remember her name.

Well, I like her.

But anyway.

So, I let her arrive from...

Like, I had worked for a company.

So, this person was obviously very disgruntled.

I've had a customer service inquiry that he had.

From a company that he stated in his two-page letter

that he loved and used often

and was still using to this day.

But something had happened that it really pissed him off.

A delivery had gone wrong,

and it hadn't delivered on the right date.

And then he had to change his plans.

And then it eventually got delivered,

but it had been the wrong date.

And the original date that he said,

and they said it wasn't it was,

and blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then he said,

So, I wanted some,

basically,

something back for being put out.

So, I went into shop to buy more stuff

because I love the shop, basically.

And he's like,

and they only offered me 150 Euro off.

And I'm thinking,

150 Euro, they only put you out by a week.

So, 150 Euro off.

And he was so pissed off about only getting 150 Euro off.

He had seen that I had worked for the company.

So, decided to send me a two-page letter,

explaining the entire story

and telling me that I should make sure heads roll.

And I'm like,

no, knock heads together

and your capacity is a brand ambassador.

And I was like,

what the heck?

And I'm like,

when I read the letter,

I'm like, has he read what he's written down?

Like, this looks like good customer service.

Good time.

It was a time to letter.

It was a time to letter.

I was like,

yeah, I just found it so bizarre.

And I'm like,

150 Euro off is,

I've actually had two really good customer service

and things this week.

But, you know,

they're boating.

Many boating.

They do kids' clothes.

And boating.

Adults' clothes.

So, I'd ordered two shorts and also shorts.

And I thought they were girls' shorts,

but I wasn't sure.

Sorry, ordered them anyway.

And they arrived,

and they were obviously just a little bit girly.

I would have kept them if they were too girly.

So, I sent them back anyway.

And then I get an email off the company like a week later.

And they were like,

did you send back these shorts?

Because there are three pairs

of umbro football shorts in with the package.

And I was like,

oh my god,

because I was meant to send these football shorts back

to get a smaller size,

and it sounds like a cat word or anything right.

And now I can't.

And they,

and they were like,

oh, what do you want us to send them back?

And they sent them back to me.

And I just thought,

you could have just been to them and said nothing.

I'm like, never have known,

but you actually got an email.

And then you paid it

of your own pocket

to send the clothes back to me.

And I just thought,

that is very,

I said,

your customer service second to none.

Oh,

listen,

some places are tired.

It's a new Joe Duffy.

So Joe Duffy is like this person.

He's retired,

actually,

do the radio anymore.

He's retired last year.

And he's basically,

it's, he's like an airing platform

for people,

emo who are pissed off,

like every day.

What are your man?

Your man with a letter

wants Joe live line.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fuck.

One thing I do have to say,

and I know I said it's the other day,

but the weather,

no, it was pissing rain yesterday,

but we are getting some decent,

proper decent days,

like the sun is out there,

splitting,

splitting the stones,

as they say.

What does it,

a squeechuck?

A squeechuck.

January was long.

February was wet.

A march is cold,

but it's sunny.

I don't care about the cold

if it's sunny.

The sun is just,

honestly,

I was having a little think

to myself so I was walking up

to stairs at my coffee.

It makes me so happy.

Well, you wouldn't know

what you're storming

around the house today.

Yes.

When folks up,

when folks,

when those people went

folks up,

everyone's up.

That's just the way it goes.

I was like,

how was I in any way led?

I walked down the stairs

very quietly.

I wasn't listening to my music,

which I used to do.

It's, I don't know,

it's the weight of your big,

floppy feet.

Your feet are bigger than mine.

Oh, it's true.

Yeah.

So, and folks,

you've got your grand-martial

duties coming up.

Yeah.

So I'm in,

I'm going home to London today.

And then I'm back in Ireland

on one day for something else.

And then I'm back

the following week.

So I'm getting three whole weeks

back in Ireland,

which just brings me

a great amount of joy.

I love being back here.

It's so relaxing and nice

and just chill vibes.

I think in London,

when we move into our own house,

which we're starting our builds in,

which is terrifying and exciting

in equal measure.

And so we're going to be starting

up in the next two weeks.

And I just like,

you know, when you just want to be

in your own house,

like I just want to be in my own home.

And just like,

it's going to be like our dream home

for like,

spending most of our time.

And I'm just,

I'll be as happy as I am

when I'm in hope

when we have that.

Yeah, fair enough.

There's nothing,

I wouldn't like to not have all

of my bits and bulbs

that would drive me off the wall.

What do you think

of this listener is?

Aren't you guys, right?

You move out of somewhere.

Move out of somewhere.

How long before people

should start sending your mail back?

A grace period.

Yeah.

I would say,

I would say two months.

I would say longer.

I would think that you should just,

like,

because we get some people's mail

to our rental house that were in

from somebody that was renting it,

not before,

not the owners,

but the previous people before that.

I'm like,

I don't know.

It doesn't really bother me.

Some people are annoyed by that.

Emma, what about you?

Because Emma, you moved in the last year.

Are you moved in the last six months?

Yeah.

We still get,

we get mail for,

the landlords,

we get mail for people

who've lived there before that.

But like,

we don't know where our landlords

lived there before us,

but we don't know what their address is.

So we can't like forward it on

and they moved to,

they moved abroad.

So,

we have no forwarding address.

So we just return

to send a stick

and stick it over the list.

Oh, do you?

You don't keep it for them.

Hi.

Oh.

Okay.

That's how you do it.

You just put return to Sandra

and just shove it in the votes box.

Yeah.

Really?

I did not know.

I did not know.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God.

I was watching something

the other night and I had to turn

off because it was making me terribly sad.

Have you ever watched that movie

Empire of the Sun

with Christian Bale

and he's a little kid in it?

Oh, that's desperate.

No, I wouldn't watch that.

Oh, I was very anxious going asleep.

I want to watch,

I want to watch

the basketball diary.

Someone was talking to me.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

John, John, my friend was like,

that we had had a big party

and when I was at my accident,

he was friends with him as well.

And he was like,

I asked you guys for like a DVD

so I could just chill on the cage

for the day I was supposed to be

gay for the basketball diary.

And he was like,

he was the worst thing in the world

to watch when you're just like feeling like,

shh, I eat for the day.

It's Leonardo DiCaprio.

Have you seen it?

It's an amazing movie.

Basically, he gets into drugs

and stuff like that,

but it is a really incredible movie.

He's done some epic stuff,

like even when he was really young,

like, what's eating Gilbert great?

He is an amazing actor.

And there's, what about the other one

where it's the kids

and they accidentally kill your man

who has the hot dog stand

and they end up in prison

and they get abused?

Oh, God.

That's another Halloween movie.

Do you know that one I'm talking about?

Yeah, actually.

And then, but anyway,

so I had to turn it off

because I genuinely,

my whole body was just like,

really, really tense.

I was like, I actually can't continue watching this.

And then my last thing.

I was asking people in work about this.

So we've talked about this before.

How often do you wash your towels?

Because I,

Leah expects towels to be washed after one use.

I think that's...

Oh, no.

Ridiculous.

But I was starting to feel a bit dirty in work

because people are saying, like,

two to three washes.

Oh.

Yeah.

But now I share, like,

I have a half of me washing your towels,

be honest here.

Three to four uses, I would say.

Oh, no.

I'd say two to three.

Max.

Emma.

15.

15.

Emma.

Emma's like,

Emma, come on.

Be worse than me.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not,

I'm not cleaning them.

I'm not swapping out more than weekly.

I don't think, like,

you're getting out of the shower

so you're not dressing.

My thing is...

No.

No.

Spenny and I basically use the same towel.

Like, we've two,

we've two towels.

Oh, jeez.

I know.

So we wash them every, every two days.

Listen, I've tried to have my own towels.

He just has no respect for me.

So...

He won't let me have my own towel.

He just...

I see a monitor around it.

And I'm like,

remember what I said?

Right.

The coolers.

Oh, no.

No lads, because I'm telling you,

I googled it in the end.

And you're not all that clean

when you get out of the shower.

I hate to break it to you.

What?

Yeah.

So...

So how often does it say...

So how often does it say...

I do win every two days.

I've no shame here.

I'm fine.

But I am sharing with Spen.

So that's kind of every four days.

Most experts...

So this is...

So mine is right.

Most experts recommend washing your bath towel every three to four uses.

Here's why.

Tells...

So there's a number of kind of varying factors.

So tell, stay down for hours,

which allows bacteria amilled you to grow.

Even if you're clean after sharing,

tells, collect dead skin cells, a moisture.

If they don't fully dry between uses,

they can start to smell or feel musty.

Oh, God.

Well, obviously...

So wash sooner after one to two uses,

if the towel doesn't dry properly.

If you live in a humid environment,

you've been sick,

you've sensitive or acne-prone skin.

Vogue, you'll have to do that.

Or the towel smells at all.

And then you can stretch...

Okay, Emile, this is more in your...

Yes.

You can stretch to four to five uses

if it dries completely between sharers.

It's hung spread out, not folded,

and your bathroom is well ventilated.

Well, that's me to be honest with you.

My towel is bone dry every time I use it.

There was the...

Yeah, me too.

I couldn't...

I'd hate to draw myself out of the towel.

There was this community,

and she was like...

She was like...

She was talking about how she grew up poor,

and she ended up going to these people's houses

when she was older for a swim in their pool,

and so she brought her towel.

And they were like,

why did you bring your towel?

And she's like,

oh, I just thought people brought their towels.

Anyway, they gave her a towel,

and she said she was really shocked,

because the towel was soft.

She just thought,

all towels were just really hard

and scratchy.

You know, and you've washed them.

So many times they're so old.

I quite like a hard and scratchy ishtel,

because I feel like really,

it gets all your...

It kind of exfoliates and dries.

But no, I think it's...

If you tumble dry your towel,

it's going to be soft.

I suppose if you took a bit of vinegar in the wash,

it gets rid of all odors.

So I remember when you do your sheets next,

a bit of ins in there.

Smoshed banana on my bloody sheets now.

Oh god.

I was talking to somebody at Lorraine,

my friend, for all in there.

And I was like,

he took out a banana,

and I was like,

he kind of made a face,

and I was like,

do you like that banana?

And he was like,

not really,

but like it's full of really good stuff.

And I was like,

so you're just eating the banana,

and you don't like it.

No, I don't.

I'm the same when I remember.

Apparently, a potassium is very good

as well if you're hungover.

So come here.

I hungover.

I touched.

I was home at bed at 12 o'clock,

and then I was in such pain

with my shoulder.

I had to go to sleep.

I was very crying.

Okay, so these are other household things, right?

So how often you should be

getting your bed sheets once a week.

I do that.

Your microwave weekly,

that thing has not seen a clean probably in a year.

Oh, putty.

It's like a makeup brush.

It's like,

but you know,

a fuck off,

I got that thing.

I do my makeup brushes now.

No, I'm talking about my own makeup brushes.

Mine are bad,

bad at the moment,

like I need to say.

Do you know what's a really difficult one knows well?

Do you know what you're washing machine?

You probably don't have it, Vogue.

But like in the washing machine,

and I tried to do a bit of a clean,

the drawers get really grimy and dirty.

You did a clean,

I did a clean of that actually,

because it was so dirty.

I wanted to.

And another thing,

you're remote control.

Never washes.

Your zapper for the TV weekly.

Door knobs, weekly.

Who the fuckers?

Who has time to do this, please?

Pillows.

Pillows.

Every two, once every two weeks.

What's that mean?

The actual fucking full-on pillows.

Yeah.

No.

How do you wash a pillow properly

if it's made of feathers?

You don't.

You don't have to go to one of those big washing machines.

They have to be in the petrol stations over here.

Do you not remember?

I had to wash one when we were in Spain.

And all of a piece on it.

They take ages to dry.

No, it would not dry.

I wouldn't be washing any duck feather pillows.

My friend Vicki said that she drops her duvet

and her matches topper on her pillows

into,

I was going to say the laundromat.

The laundromat.

I don't know what you call it.

Dry cleaners.

Once a year.

Now, she said it's about like 150 quid.

Like it's expensive,

but like she does that once a year, which is fair enough.

How often do you wash your coats as well?

Because I had this coat.

And I was like,

I think I got really...

Okay, fine.

I think I slept it when I was a bit...

I think it was memorable that night.

Who's birthday was it?

And I basically fell asleep.

We fell asleep when you were a room.

And I also went,

I was like, well, go for the three of us.

Three of us.

I was like, this is not a vibe.

And I was in my coat.

So anyway, I thought the coat needed a wash.

Never again.

35 quid to wash a coat.

I thought I'll risk it.

Oh, it's my own washers.

Puffa jackets are tough to do too.

So your shower head,

you're supposed to do once every two weeks.

Jesus, okay.

That is not happening for me.

The washing machine literally...

Oh my god, once every two weeks.

This feels like shaming.

I don't want to...

I don't want to do this anymore.

You're all then, once every three weeks,

I want a steamer to do the oven.

Light bulbs.

What are your fucking light bulbs?

Buy your own fucking steamer.

She's supposed to just...

Did you just call me a steamer?

Light bulbs.

You're supposed to fucking...

You're light bulbs every three weeks.

This is stupid.

This is stupid.

And your curtains.

Your curtains.

Your curtains, yeah.

Once every six months.

So there you have it, guys.

I am an absolute filth bad going by that list.

Do you know what I do?

I have dreams and hopes.

I'm back in Ireland there.

And I have this amazing organizer girl

who comes into some stuff for me.

She's going to do some bits.

Like the kids toys and all that.

Everything's just kind of gotten overwhelmed.

But I'd love to get a professional deep cleaner

and to do the whole house.

And spend a week here.

It's never going to happen.

But wouldn't that be nice?

Yeah.

She'd end up spending two days in the armors room alone.

It's off.

I do keep my room clean.

You're a dirty girl.

I'm not.

I was AI'd out of my mind this week.

They got me good.

Would I tell you?

Okay, girls.

I was watching this video and I was like,

I'm deeply shocked because in a supermarket, right?

They showed a video of what looks like a human leg.

You fucking junk.

In the bushes.

And I was like, oh my god, the meat section

has a human leg.

Anyway, the whole supermarket was shut down.

Everybody was removed.

The owner of the supermarket was questioned.

Turns out his wife had been cheating.

And what he did was he had her locked in the back.

And he cut off her leg.

And she was alive with just.

And he basically had put her leg out to sell it.

The meat can't turn a man.

It's seen it.

I'm called the whole thing.

And then I was like, and then I was telling Pete about the story.

And he was like, that's AI.

Why?

I get it when it's like the tiger is at the,

at the safari coming into the car.

I understand.

That's not the dangerous.

The dangerous thing about AI is I'm not shaming.

I'm not being age is strengthening here.

But it's older people that are on Instagram and stuff like that.

And then being juped by still sharing.

Older than you.

But honestly, I mean it.

And I'm sharing it.

And then them being kind of like influenced by it.

It's really fucking dangerous.

You know, boy George, I was on the rain this week.

And one of the things we were talking about was the fact

the boy George had said on the Fern cotton podcast.

And I love boy George.

I kind of love that he doesn't really give a shit.

And he's really honest.

And I remember we interviewed him for Never Never Day.

He was, um, God, I have, I have feelings of getting a pod back up and going.

But anyway, we've got two pods here that we have to listen to.

But anyway, so, uh, he said that he uses AI to help him write lyrics.

And that like, he was like, I've written like five albums using it.

And I'm like, I just, and he's trying to train his chat GBT.

And chatbot to, to try and like think like him and write like him.

And I just feel like it, it's kind of like I have a use sometimes to use it to respond to messages and stuff.

Yes.

And there's nothing calling your eyes.

You bitch.

I got in trouble for using one for Valentine's Day.

And I promised never to do that again.

It's so obvious.

But no, I'm going to get this.

I'll share this song with you.

I've just asked a guy I work with.

He shared this song in one of our meetings.

So we have full agency meetings twice a week.

And it was an AI-generated music piece of music.

And it was a fucking banger, like a total banger.

It was like a rap.

Oh, my god.

It's so, so good.

I need him to send it to me.

And I'll share it with you guys because it is an absolute tune and a half.

But that's what's happening.

People are setting up.

What people are doing is they're generating AI music.

And people do like a AI-generated music.

But then what they're doing is they're setting up loads of different Spotify accounts.

So they go and listen to the AI music.

So they're making money from it.

Yeah.

On TikTok, I heard this, like, gospel version of the song song.

There was AI generated.

And it's so good.

Oh, my god.

What happened to Cisco?

Is Cisco married to a shanty?

No, that's Nelly.

Nelly.

Oh, I love his tunes.

If you don't embrace AI, you're going to be left behind.

I know.

You can kind of embrace it.

And sometimes I do use the chat you receive to ask stuff like

if there's cocaine.

Chaming me.

Chaming me.

Well, I'm right now.

I feel like I feel like certain things like if you're writing like an Instagram caption or something

like that.

Like, you need to, like, I just feel like certain things need to be personal.

I don't.

And from you.

I spoken emojis from my captions.

You spent, oh, god.

I've never known someone to mull over.

An Instagram post for so long.

Well, Spenny sometimes does it.

And I can't actually bear it.

But Spenny spends days, if not weeks, drafting his fucking copy.

I just am shit at posting.

That's the tune there.

I sent it to you both in the chat.

It's an absolute banger.

I don't claim a crown.

I just got my skin.

I'm too loud for all I can withstand.

I'm going in my chest, but I breathe it.

It's a tune.

We don't hate it.

We don't hate it.

Yeah.

Did you see?

Did you see Kano and Fred again in London?

I sent it to Alza and I was like, what the hell?

What the hell is wrong with you, Alza?

I was like, why did you not tell us about this gig?

I was like, I missed stuff like this.

But you shouldn't allow us to miss it.

And I was like, send them all these videos of Solomon and stuff.

And I was like, I want this to be a music here.

I just want to go to loads of gigs.

I just wish they do.

Martin is just.

That's called a roll over.

I don't want to go to a roll over because I won't be rolling over.

I'll just be going and I don't like singing.

There are places in London that do that.

I know.

I know.

That for me.

Sorry.

It's like that time I went to Pergon.

And then this mom told me he was going to stop me.

Why?

Why?

Well, I'd say he'd been there since the Friday morning when it opened.

And this was on a Sunday night.

So you got into Pergon, did you?

Can you believe it?

Tell us everything.

Tell us everything.

Well, I got in.

And we all cute up.

And I got in.

And my boyfriend at the time got into and we went in for a little while.

But it was like really rammed and full.

And I think because we went on the Sunday night, like people had obviously been there

up since the Friday morning.

So like they were out of their minds.

And it was kind of.

I wasn't drunk enough.

Like, and I was too aware of how fucked up people were.

I was kind of.

No.

It was kind of a bit scary.

But anyway, I was like trying to embrace it because I was.

Like I was in Pergon.

I probably was never going to go again.

And then this man kept eyeballing me.

And then I was dancing beside him.

But like I had banged into something.

And he basically told me he was going to stop me.

And I said, I said, I said, not it wasn't, Sven.

I was like, oh, my God.

I think we have to go.

I'm really scared.

And he kept looking at me from across.

Like the dancer then.

And I was like, no, I think he might.

We should go.

So it was short lived.

Do they take your phone?

Are they just put a sticker on the camera?

This has gone back like this must be 15 years ago.

Oh, Nokia 55, 10 days.

Yeah, I wasn't like, you're not.

Yeah, it would have been a bit.

It is incredible what they've done with that place.

Like it's mad.

I'd love to see it like during the week.

I'd say.

I feel like it's got gay man son of vibes.

But there is a gay floor.

Well, that's where we would be.

Emma would be torn between a couple of hours.

She'd be like, both of you down in a minute.

I'm from coming back up a shit turn here.

You're greedy bitch.

Okay, let's see some sister cards.

You ready?

Okay, let's keep them snappy.

Listeners, can I ask you, what do you think of the sister cards?

No, we're not doing this.

We're not putting it to the vote.

Sister cards are staying.

We've already lost faking it.

We could put sister cards in the bonus and make it a bit more gamey.

Yeah, let's just let us know.

We absolutely love gaming.

Oh, we have to do, by the way, we have to do the Agniam that we were sent in.

If you could have an unlimited supply of anything for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I was about to say money.

You can't say money or food.

Fuel.

Oh, fuel is a good one.

Let's all have fuel, Lily.

Happiness.

Yeah, happiness is a good one.

Happiness is the most important thing in the world.

Okay, soppy.

I'm going to make some money when you focus her off.

I'll be happy.

If you were a boxer, what would your entrance song be?

I'm a yours would obviously be that AI one.

Mine would be, I was a boxer.

I did white color boxing, but then I got to qualify because I did three.

Three, three sixties.

And my song was, I came out to, oh, my God.

Maniac.

She walked across the dance.

And she was dressed to kill.

She was a sexy lady.

That's a really big song in our mind.

Mine would probably be, well, at the moment, because I saw Kano and Fred again, only on my Instagram, sadly.

Kano and gigs three wheels up.

I don't know what that is.

Banger.

Emile?

Um...

Bipple.

Oh, yeah, but a pit bull.

Oh, tap, melt, tap, hold on in it.

I'm able to throw the shades walking in.

Okay.

Okay.

What three slabs did you invite in your talk show?

Ooh.

Oh, and...

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

You know, I'm not going to take you up a spot.

Oh, shit.

Who do I love, MMO?

People who have an interesting story to tell.

Well, you see, I would be selfish and I would want to invite celebrities that I could obviously be friends.

Right.

Yeah.

That would work.

Sarah Paulson.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Who else?

We've got an actress.

What about a music person?

Um, I was going to say do a leap, but...

What about Henry Whitehall?

You loved her.

No.

We're all ready, friends.

She told me you're a bitch.

I feel the same.

Okay.

I would like, um, Irish.

God, what's his name?

Andrew Scott.

He's good crack.

He's a nice guy.

He's very talented and he would chat.

MMO, who doesn't want to nudge?

Sharon Horrigan.

Who else?

Yes.

Love Sharon.

Who else have we been obsessed with recently?

MMO.

Come on.

Oh, maybe you're one M from...

Oh, is she that interesting though?

I'll have Andrew Scott, Sharon Horrigan, and...

Rosalia.

No, no, maybe I'll have Barack Obama or something like that.

Okay.

I did terrible at this.

It was always going to be the way Sarah Paulson is all I got.

Okay.

Sarah Paulson, Michelle Pfeiffer, or Sharon Stone, or...

To me more.

What's something you've done?

You don't think a lot of other people have done.

Uh...

Smoshed a banana in my bank.

I would say...

I don't know.

I skydive.

Oh, well...

Have you...

Okay, have you...

Oh, so...

Have you done one?

I don't want to do one.

I don't want to do one.

It's exactly so.

Shut your mouth.

How about you?

Shut your mouth.

I'm trying to think of anything I've done in terms of injuries

and stuff like that that people haven't done.

Oh, something I've done that...

There's a boring life.

There's a boring life.

I've been on a dancing show.

Oh, God.

Okay.

If you could teleport somewhere right now, where would you go?

Well, London, because that's where I'm going,

and I'd like to cut out all this fat that I'm going to have to do.

Teleport somewhere, and then come back.

Yeah, maybe I teleport back to 1999, and I'd say, hey, puppy.

Oh, please.

Stop smoking, puppy.

I'm not smoking.

And he would say, fuck off your shit, puppy.

I would teleport off to see Leah.

Oh, that's a good one.

Emma.

I would go to Australia.

Because it's sunny there.

Why don't we go to Australia for breakfast?

I'll make you the best breakfast on the get a coffee.

No, they do.

They have a strong breakfast.

And then we get a coffee for the way back.

Yes.

Oh, God, their food is actually really good over there.

Okay.

And you just pick three things that instantly become an expert in.

Well, you know what I'm going to say.

Well, I'm going to say an expert in tech, stock markets,

and all that finance bits.

And then finance.

Then finance, bro, what?

No, definitely.

Oh, no skin care.

Skin care.

I'd love to be an expert in skincare.

I would also like to be an expert in like, I know you guys are plumbing and electrician stuff.

Carpentry.

I'm sorry, Vogue.

I could build this a beautiful deck out the back.

We do.

I was looking at that deck.

That's going to have to get changed.

If I had, if I had the skills, I'd tell you what the deck isn't getting changed.

I've got to change the heat pump.

Well, our bills are.

Our bills are still astronomical.

Like to the point that the electricity company has like taken pity on and given us more

discount because he's just nice of them.

This is nice.

It was like, this is not normal.

This is really not normal.

Anytime you use your heat, it's like insane.

We.

For three months.

I'm sorting it out.

Let's just leave it.

For three months.

We used more than double electricity.

This is a bigger bill.

It's double what your average household uses in a year.

More than double.

Because I'm using broken.

We've got a man coming to put in a new one.

I bet you know what?

Don't you dare complain.

I have to pay for this.

I hope you.

I hope you got your toe and all those splinters on the deck.

Because you've got to live in it for the year.

If you no longer had to sleep, how would you spend those eight hours?

Reading, relaxing.

That would be my time of like reading, relaxing and watching stuff.

Because I don't do that enough.

And I nearly.

I nearly was a slight little cow today.

And I was going to tell us many.

I had work until.

So I could stay at home here.

I do nothing.

Like I would have taken myself a walk.

I would have gotten an occasion chicken roll and just tealed in bed.

Because my friend did that last week.

She pretended she had work.

She was sick.

Stayed and challenging on her own.

Mine would be, I would definitely try and upscale.

So you obviously better yourself in some ways.

I'd maybe start cooking.

That's cookies.

Okay.

We've got to move on.

We're moving on to Agony Am.

We're going to finish on that.

Sorry, everybody.

Some of us have to go to the airport.

Okay.

This Agony Am.

Okay.

Are you prepared?

Vogue and Amber and Emma.

I heard you calling it for ghost stories.

I got the freakiest of all time.

I swear my old house was haunted.

A bit four years ago when my kids were six and ten.

I walked into the kitchen one day.

And they were both drawing this weird creepy looking stickman.

Totally faceless.

Just to figure with his arm stuck straight out to the side

with long fingers wearing a black hat.

They were both drawing the same weird guy.

So I was like, who's that?

They said, it's the man who visits us.

I know.

Oh.

I've seen him inside your room last night.

Where you got out?

Jump up, Vogue.

I was obviously like, what the hell?

And they basically went on to say he stands outside

their bedroom door staring at them.

And if the door is short, he puts his face to the window.

Oh, my God.

For each the volcano set off the CCTV in the corridor

and never caught anything.

But then it started going dead at around 2 a.m.

for three or four hours.

Each night never been so scared.

That's giving me chills.

Oh, I have.

I'm ready to see you.

Vogue, shut off.

They're not like, well, everybody.

Thank you so much for listening.

We think you think you're brilliant.

And we really appreciate it.

Please keep sending your emails and your agoniums

and all those things.

I'm at the assholes in two Vogue and I have a part

at global.com.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

This has been a global player,

original production.