David Copperfield: Chapter 22

Hello and welcome to Storytime for grown-ups. I'm Faith Moore and this season we're reading

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. Each episode I'll read a few chapters from the book,

pausing from time to time to give brief explanations so it's easier to follow along.

It's like an audiobook with built-in notes. So brew a pot of tea, find a cozy chair, and settle in.

It's Storytime.

Hello, welcome back. This is a very long chapter and I think I have kind of a lot to say about

the last chapter. So I'm going to try to make it very short here at the very top of the show

and just remind you that tomorrow if you're listening in real time tomorrow is tea time. So March 24th

it's Tuesday, it's tomorrow if this is Monday for you and we will be meeting in the drawing room

which is our online community at 8 p.m. Eastern and I hope that you will join us there. If you

would like to sign up there's still time. You can scroll into the show notes and click the link

that's there. Sign up for the drawing room or switch your membership to landed gentry if you're not

yet a landed gentry member and I hope that you will join us at 8 p.m. tomorrow, Tuesday, March 24th

for tea time. Okay let's just get right into this episode. Last time we read chapter 21

today we're going to be reading chapter 22 and I got some great comments. You guys are pretty

united I think in your thoughts at this point in the story. So I'm really excited to read you

some letters and talk for a bit and then to get into the next chapter. So first let's just

remind ourselves what happened last time. Here is the recap. All right so where we left off

David spends the week with Steer 4th and his mother. Steer 4th has a servant who makes David feel

very inferior simply by being very respectable and correct. So when David and Steer 4th leave to

visit the pegadies David is glad that they leave that servant behind. They arrive in Yarmouth

and David passes Mr. Omer's shop where he was fitted for the funeral clothes for his mother's

funeral. So he goes in and he sees that the daughter has married the coffin maker and Mr. Omer

is very glad to see David. David also learns that little Emily is apprenticed there and is doing well

even though she's had a hard time in the town because people think she puts on heirs and she wants

to rise above her station. David goes to visit pegadie who is overjoyed to see him and they both are

very emotional to be back with each other again. Mr. Barkis is ill in bed but is also happy to see

David and he even gets a coin out of his box under the bed so that they can have a nice dinner.

Steer 4th comes over for that dinner and charms pegadie and Mr. Barkis then Steer 4th and David

go to the pegadies house where it turns out that little Emily has just agreed to marry him.

They all spend a happy evening together and Steer 4th is very kind and personable to everyone

but when they're leaving David implies that he sees how much Steer 4th loves everyone

and Steer 4th seemed to be saying that it's all just a kind of joke to him but David doesn't catch

this or he won't believe it. All right I'm gonna read three comments today the first one comes

from our online community the drawing room and this person goes by the handle at Bonnie. She says

I find myself oscillating back and forth between thinking Steer 4th is a decent guy and completely

dreading what damage he is going to cause. It's like I am one of the characters in the book being

taken in by his charisma even though I know he is not really what he seems. We've clearly been

shown his dark side when he got the schoolteacher fired and plus there's been lots of other

little moments that have suggested his character isn't wholly trustworthy. Why do I keep falling for

his charm and thinking maybe he isn't that bad? Dickens certainly has created a very convincing

duplicity in his character. This next one comes from Jennifer McDonald. She says recalling David's

foreshadowing out the future of Little Emily earlier in the book I don't like the idea of her

being introduced to Steer 4th here even as she's just unexpectedly become engaged to him and

is officially off the market. I still have a bad feeling that Steer 4th might do something to

sabotage the engagement. And the last one also comes from the drawing room and this person goes

by the handle at Rachel C. She says I really don't like how adept Steer 4th is at manipulation

and getting his way in all things especially when it resorts to violence and to also be so charming

and charismatic scary individual. Wow okay so I feel like the general consensus out there in

story type for grownups land is that Steer 4th is not a good guy. Remember when we were reading

Frankenstein and I kept joking that we should get t-shirts that said like hashtag team monster

and hashtag team victor well now I feel like we might need hashtag team Steer 4th and hashtag team

not Steer 4th shirts or something because like Bonnie says and I love what Bonnie wrote I feel like

it really sums Steer 4th up so beautifully but like Bonnie says Steer 4th is really charming if

you met him I think you might like him you might really like him he seems to have this ability to

put everyone at ease and to always know what to say and how to behave he's got what I was calling

before the common touch right this thing that monarchs sometimes have where even though they're

so high and mighty they can speak with the populace as if they really truly care what's going on

with them and they can make them feel comfortable and listen to and all of this and Steer 4th has this

he's a huge hit with the peggedly family right they love him and they feel like he is a

wonderful young gentleman and they're more than happy to welcome him into their family circle

and like Bonnie says there's something really appealing in that I mean why would he do that if

he didn't actually care about these people in some way but then others of you lots and lots of

others of you I would say that we'd sell way more hashtag team not Steer 4th shirts than hashtag team

Steer 4th shirts by the way judging from your letters so others of you feel like steer for this

actually quite sinister there's this sense of dread that I'm sensing from your letters a feeling

of waiting for something terrible to happen and that feeling seems to center judging by what you

guys are writing into me it seems to center around Steer 4th and little Emily so I'd say you guys are

kind of running the gamut on Steer 4th everything from maybe he's not so bad to well he's kind

of a narcissist but he's probably harmless to oh my gosh get out now this guy is the villain of

the whole piece so obviously I'm not going to reveal anything and I purposely didn't read the

letters where you guys wrote in with really specific predictions about what you think is going to

happen although I really enjoyed reading those but I'm not going to share them here because I don't

want to put anything into anyone's head that wasn't there already but I do think we can just take

a look at what we do know already and try to kind of paint a picture of where we stand and what

Dickens might want us to be thinking and feeling at this point so as Jennifer says we did get this

very dramatic foreshadowing many chapters ago back when David was visiting the peg to be family

as a child we got this foreshadowing that something really awful was going to happen to little Emily

David told us that it was going to be so awful in fact that he wasn't sure if it might have

been better if she had died as a child rather than have this thing happen to her later so I mean

that would be a really bad thing right the death of a child is terrible so what could it be that

would be so awful that dying so young might be better we don't know but we do know that something

that is going to happen to Emily that's pretty much a fact David has told us that already so we know

we also know that this chapter that we just read chapter 21 is called little Emily even though

much of the chapter doesn't actually involve Emily very much at all so that tells us that something

about what we learn about Emily in this chapter is important to the story in some way and I think

it kind of primes us to perk up our ears a little whenever her name is mentioned in the chapter

and the first time that it is mentioned is in the scene with Mr. Omer the undertaker so one thing

to just note or remember here is that David hasn't been back to Yarmeth or seen Peggy or Mr. Peggy

or Ham or Emily or any one of those people since he left to work for Mordstone and Gridby it's been

seven years we were told in this chapter since he last saw any of them he has written to Peggy lots

and lots in this time and she's written to him but he hasn't seen her so this chapter is a kind

of homecoming for David in a way which is why I think it's so lovely that Dickens has him stop

first at Mr. Omer's shop because remember how when David's mother died we had that wonderful

poignant scene with the Omer's they were all chatting and laughing they were full of life

and that was juxtaposed with David's grief and the sound of the hammer hammering the coffin

and we talked back then about the way that that chapter felt almost like a little short story

about life going on even in the face of death and grief and all of this and now we have a kind of

echo of that David's life has gone on so much has happened to him since he was here last he's

in much better sheep than he was then and so I think it's really fitting that the first people

he encounters are the people who symbolized life going on the Omer's and many Omer has married

Mr. Jorum and Jorum has become partners with Mr. Omer in the business and they have lots of

children whenever they show up the Omer's are this beautiful reminder of life in the face of death

they make coffins and funeral clothes and prepare dead bodies for burial but they marry and they

have children and they love each other and they live to the fullest and I think it's wonderful

that Dickens has this be the first thing he encounters when he arrives back at Yarmouth the memory

of his dead mother is there in that scene but so is the fact that life goes on but anyway it turns out

that little Emily has been working for Mr. Omer and she's actually there now although David feels

too bashful to do anything but kind of peep in the window at her and what we learn from Mr.

Omer about Emily is that some of the other women in the town think that Emily kind of holds

herself apart from them or holds herself above them that she has aspirations to be a lady that's

how Mr. Omer puts it here's what he says she hasn't taken much to any companions here she hasn't

taken kindly to any particular acquaintances and friends not to mention sweethearts in consequence

an ill-natured story got about that Emily wanted to be a lady now my opinion is that it came

into circulation principally on account of her sometimes saying at the school that if she was a

lady she would like to do so and so for her uncle don't you see and buy him such and such fine

things and actually Emily said something very similar to David if you remember when they were

children she told him that she would like to be a lady because if she could be a lady she would buy

a kind of funny suit of clothes for Mr. Pagody and all of these fancy things so we know that this

is true about her she does wish that she wasn't a lower class person and she does talk about wanting

to be a lady and everything that she would do if she was one and we're also told in chapter 21

that she has a kind of fancy way of dressing herself and carrying herself that makes her see more

fashionable than the other girls and maybe even more upper class so she's resented by the other

women for her beauty but also because they think she's putting on heirs and saying that she's

better than them and she's too good for the kind of life and the kind of work that suits a lower class

woman so that's one thing that we learned about Emily in this chapter another thing we learn

is that she's engaged to ham Pagody right when David and steer forth show up at the little

bone house they interrupt the scene of ham revealing to Mr. Pagody that Emily has accepted his offer

of marriage and this is the best news ever to Mr. Pagody Mr. Pagody loves Emily so deeply

and he feels so protective of her and he trusts ham so implicitly that he feels like this is

the perfect match because he now knows that Emily will be taking care of in the way that he feels

that she ought to be taking care of here's what he says there's a man ashore there iron true to my

little Emily god bless her and no wrong can touch my Emily while so be as that man lives okay so he

feels he can rest easy knowing that Emily will always be in good hands once Mr. Pagody isn't the one

looking out for her anymore because she's married or even after he dies and ham clearly adores

Emily here's what David says about this he says I thought it affecting to see such a sturdy fellow

as ham was now trembling in the strength of what he felt for the pretty little creature who had

won his heart okay so clearly Mr. Pagody is right in the sense that ham will care for Emily just

lovingly and carefully as Mr. Pagody would but there also seems to be something not quite right

about Emily's feelings in all of this David notices that she doesn't really seem like a woman in love

like happily accepting the proposal of the man that she wants and excitedly starting out on her

new life and everything David says I could not satisfy myself whether it was in her own little

tormenting way or in a medley reserve before us that she kept quite close to the wall and away from

him but I observed that she did so all the evening okay so that doesn't really sound like someone

who is deeply in love with her fiancee and can't wait to marry him or whatever so that's another

thing that we learn about Emily in this chapter okay so that's Emily we learn that she seems to

wish she was a lady that the other woman thinks she holds herself apart and is kind of snobby

that she's engaged to ham who loves her dearly but that she doesn't seem to love him as much as he

loves her so if we're looking for what this horrible event might be that causes David to think it

might be better that she died I don't know that we have a ton to go on in that department but we

do have several places where things could go wrong I think the fact that she seems discontented

with her lot in life the fact that she's unpopular with the other women and the fact that she

doesn't seem to necessarily love the man that she has agreed to marry so that's her what about

steer forth okay the general consensus among you guys seems to be that steer forth is going to

somehow be the cause of the horrible event or at least that that's the fear at this point in

the story one of the things that is concerning us at this point according to all of your letters

is that David seems sort of oblivious to the potentially negative aspects of steer forth's

character and even views as positive things which we the reader and even potentially which

adult David the narrator view as negative for example the way that steer forth treats David

like a sort of toy here's what David tells us a dashing way he had of treating me like a play

thing was more agreeable to me than any behavior he could have adopted okay and then later he says

as he had treated me at school differently from all the rest I joyfully believed that he treated

me in life unlike any other friend he had I believed that I was nearer to his heart than any

other friend and my own heart warmed with attachment to him okay now anyone who has ever been suddenly

adopted by the popular kid at school can relate to this I think I certainly can I can name at

least one steer forth from my own life although I won't call that person out on a podcast but I do

remember that person's name and the feelings that I felt while I was friends with this person they're

very similar to the feelings that David is expressing here the fact that this person treats you

differently than everyone else even if the difference is that they see you as a sort of play thing

the fact is incredibly rewarding it's hard to see it for what it is which is a kind of narcissistic

enjoyment of that person's total infatuation with you rather than a real true friendship between

equals so David actually likes the way that steer force treats him even though we feel pretty

worried about it and we worry about David being so enthralled to this guy so we can see that the

David who is living out the events of chapter 21 is completely oblivious to any of steer force

negative qualities and is therefore not necessarily a good judge of him he can't see any faults in

him which is bad since everyone has faults and the minute you start thinking that someone can do

no wrong ever you open yourself up to being manipulated or abused in some way I think but we also

learn that the David who's telling the story right so adult David we learn that he actually sees

things differently here's what he says if anyone had told me then that all this was a brilliant game

played for the excitement of the moment for the employment of high spirits in the thoughtless

love of superiority in a mere wasteful careless course of winning what was worthless to him

and next minute thrown away I say if anyone had told me such a lie that night I wonder in what

manner of receiving it my indignation would have found event so whoa right that is a totally

different view of steer force than the younger version of David has and it tells us that something

must happen eventually between David and steer force that changes David's mind now it might just be

that David eventually grows up and he sees that the dynamic between them is not a true friendship

that can totally happen it happened to me it's probably happened to you at some point but it

potentially implies something more dramatic a kind of rift of some kind between them but it does

kind of point to the idea that steer force common touch this way that he has to set everyone in

ease I mean it's so charming to the pegadies and he seems so interested and so excited to get to

know them and he's so kind to Mr. Barkas who is ill and suffering but if adult David is to be

believed this is all quote a game to him it's not a genuine interest or a genuine respect for these

people it's just a sort of novelty to him like oh something new to experience like a new food to

try or a new sport to pick up or whatever and I think steer force himself confirms this in a

variety of ways one is the way he has of talking about the pegadies as if they were a different kind

of people altogether he says let us see the natives in their aboriginal condition which is super

condescending right and then later he says well it's a quaint place and they are quaint company

and it's quite a new sensation to mix with them which again implies a kind of interest in novelty

but not a true human connection but of course to David these people are his friends they're his real

true friends and in the case of pegadie she's like his second mother I mean the scene where he sees

pegadie again after seven years apart it's so moving I think here's a quote David says

she cried my darling boy and we both person did tears and we're locked in one another's arms

what extravagances she committed what laughing and crying over me what pride she showed what joy

what sorrow that she who's pride and joy I might bend could never hold me in a fond embrace

I have not the heart to tell I mean that's real true emotion and love and it's miles apart from

what steer force feels or potentially could ever feel for people like this and the last thing that

we learned about steer force because I've been talking for a long time now and we should get to

this chapter because it's long but the last indication that steer force really doesn't care

about these friends of David's is that steer force actually tells us so himself David says to him

when I see how perfectly you understand them how exquisitely you can enter into happiness like

this plain fisherman's or humor a love like my old nurses I know that there is not a joy or sorrow

not an emotion of such people that can be indifferent to you and I admire and love you for

its steer force twenty times the more he so David believes that steer force is totally an earnest

and that he cares deeply for the peggedies but steer force replies daisy I believe you are

an earnest and are good I wish we all were okay which implies I think that he doesn't feel at all

the way that David characterized him as feeling so there's lots of foreboding here there's some

foreshadowing but will anything come of it I mean nothing bad has actually happened so

something going to happen or not well there is only one way to find out which of course is to keep

reading so we're going to do that now but of course don't forget to write to me it's faithkmore.com

click on contact or scroll into the show notes and click the link that's there please do send me

all your questions and thoughts I love to hear them you guys have such amazing things to say so don't

hold out on me please do it right in and if you can or are interested please do join us tomorrow

for tea time at 8 p.m. Eastern all right let's get started with chapter 22 of David Copperfield

by Charles Dickens it's story time

chapter 22 some old scenes and some new people steer forth and I stayed for more than a fortnight

in that part of the country we were very much together I need not say but occasionally we

were a sunder for some hours at a time he was a good sailor and I was but an indifferent one

and when he went out boating with Mr. Peggy which was a favorite amusement of his I'd generally

remain to shore my occupation of Peggy's spare room put a constraint upon me from which he was free

for knowing how assiduously she attended on Mr. Barkas all day I did not like to remain out late

at night whereas steer forth lying at the inn had nothing to consult but his own humor

thus it came about that I heard of his making little treats for the fisherman at Mr. Peggy's house

of call the willing mind after I was in bed and of his being afloat wrapped in fisherman's clothes

whole moonlight nights and coming back when the morning tide was at flood by this time however I

knew that his restless nature and bold spirits delighted to find event in rough toil and hard weather

as in any other means of excitement that presented itself freshly to him so none of his proceedings

surprised me another cause of our being sometimes apart was that I had naturally an interest in going

over to blunderstone and revisiting the old familiar scenes of my childhood while steer forth

after being there once had naturally no great interest in going there again hence on three or four

days that I can at once recall we went our several ways after an early breakfast and met again

at a late dinner I had no idea how he employed his time in the interval beyond a general knowledge

that he was very popular in the place and had twenty means of actively diverting himself where

another man might not have found one for my own part my occupation in my solitary pilgrimages

was to recall every yard of the old road as I went along it and to haunt the old spots of which

I never tired I haunted them as my memory had often done and lingered among them as my younger

thoughts had lingered when I was far away the grave beneath the tree where both my parents lay

on which I had looked out when it was my father's only with such curious feelings of compassion

and by which I had stood so desolate when it was open to receive my pretty mother and her baby

the grave which pegadies own faithful care had ever since kept neat and made a garden of

I walked near by the hour it lay a little off the churchyard path in a quiet corner not so far

removed but I could read the names upon the stone as I walked to in fro startled by the sound

of the church bell when it struck the hour for it was like a departed voice to me my reflections

at these times were always associated with the figure I was to make in life and the distinguished

things I was to do my echoing footsteps went to no other tune but whereas constant to that as if

I had come home to build my castles in the air at a living mother's side so he sang that as he

walks around next to his mother's grave he's thinking about what he wants to be and what he

wants to become almost as if he was telling his alive mother about his aspirations there were great

changes in my old home the ragged nests so long deserted by the rooks were gone and the trees were

locked and topped out of their remembered shapes the garden had run wild and half the windows of

the house were shut up it was occupied but only by a poor lunatic gentleman and the people who

took care of him he was always sitting at my little window looking out into the church yard

and I wondered whether his rambling thoughts ever went upon any of the fancies that used to occupy

mine on the rosy mornings when I peeped out of that same little window in my nightclubs and saw

the sheep quietly feeding in the light of the rising sun our old neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Graper

were gone to South America and the rain had made its way through the roof of their empty house

and stained the outer walls Mr. Chilip was married again to a tall raw-boned high-nosed wife

and I had a wheezing little baby wheezing means thin and sort of shriveled up with a heavy

head that it couldn't hold up and two weak staring eyes with which it seemed to be always wondering

why it had ever been born it was with a singular jumble of sadness and pleasure that I used to linger

about my need of place until the reddening winter sun had managed me that it was time to start on my

returning walk but when the place was left behind and especially when Steerforth and I were

happily seated over our dinner by a blazing fire it was delicious to think of having been there

so it was though in a soften degree when I went to my neat room at night and turning over the leaves

of the crocodile book which was always there upon a little table remembered with a grateful heart

how blessed I was in having such a friend as Steerforth such a friend as Peggy and such a

substitute for what I had lost as my excellent and generous aunt my nearest way to Yarmuth in coming

back from these long walks was by a ferry it landed me on the flat between the town and the sea

which I could make straight across and so save myself a considerable circuit by the high road

Mr. Peggy's house being on that waste place and not a hundred yards out of my track I always

looked in as I went by Steerforth was pretty sure to be there expecting me and we went on together

through the frosty air and gathering fog towards the twinkling lights of the town one dark evening

when I was later than usual for I had that day been making my parting visit to Blunderstone as we

were now about to return home I found him alone in Mr. Peggy's house sitting thoughtfully before the

fire he was so intent upon his own reflections that he was quite unconscious of my approach

this indeed he might easily have been if he had been less absorbed for footsteps fell

noiselessly on the sandy ground outside but even my entrance failed to rouse him I was standing close

to him looking at him and still with a heavy brow he was lost in his meditations he gave such a

start when I put my hand upon his shoulder that he made me start too you come upon me he said almost

angrily like a reproachful ghost I was obliged to announce myself somehow I replied have I called

you down from the stars no he answered no up from anywhere then said I taking my seat near him

I was looking at the pictures in the fire he returned but you are spoiling them for me

said I as he stirred it quickly with a piece of burning wood striking out of it a train of red hot

sparks that went careering up the little chimney and roaring out into the air you would not have

seen them he returned I had to test this mongrel time neither day nor night how late you are where have

you been I have been taking leave of my usual walk said I and I have been sitting here said

to your fourth glancing round the room thinking that all the people we found so glad on the night

of our coming down might to judge from the present wasted air of the place be dispersed or dead

or come to I don't know what harm David I wish to God I had had a judicious father these last 20

years my dear steer forth what is the matter I wish with all my soul I had been better guided

he exclaimed I wish with all my soul I could guide myself better there was a passionate

dejection in his manner that quite amazed me he was more unlike himself than I could have

supposed possible it would have been better to be this poor peggy or his loud of a nephew

he said getting up and leaning rudely against the chimney piece with his face towards the fire

than to be myself 20 times richer and 20 times wiser and be the torment to myself that I have

been in this devil's bark of a boat within the last half hour I was so confounded by the alteration

in him that at first I could only observe him in silence as he stood leaning his head upon his hand

and looking gloomily down at the fire at length I begged him with all the earnestness I felt

to tell me what had occurred to cross him so unusually and to let me sympathize with him if I could

not hope to advise him before I had well concluded he began to laugh fretfully at first but soon with

returning gady cut it's nothing daisy nothing he replied I told you at the end in London I am having

company for myself sometimes I have been a nightmare to myself just now must have had one I think

at odd dull times nursery tales come up into the memory unrecognized for what they are I believe I

have been confounding myself with the bad boy who didn't care and became food for lions a grander

kind of going to the dogs I suppose what old women called horrors have been creeping over me from

head to foot I have been afraid of myself you are afraid of nothing else I think said I

perhaps not yet may have enough to be afraid of too he answered well so it goes by I'm not about

to be hipped again David but I tell you my good fellow once more that it would have been well for me

and for more than me if I had had a steadfast and judicious father his face was always full of

expression but I never saw it express such a dark kind of earnestness as when he said these words

with his glance bent on the fire so much for that he said making as if he tossed something light

into the air with his hand why be gone I am a man again like Macbeth and now for dinner if I

have not Macbeth like broken up the feast with most admired disorder daisy but where are they all

I wonder said I God knows said steer forth after strolling to the ferry looking for you I

strolled in here and found the place deserted that sent me thinking and you found me thinking

the advent of Mrs. Gummage with a basket explained how the house had happened to be empty she had

heard out to buy something that was needed against Mr. Pagody's return with the tide and had left

the door open in the meanwhile less ham and little Emily with whom it was an early night should

come home while she was gone steer forth after very much improving Mrs. Gummage's spirits by a

cheerful salutation and a jacose embrace took my arm and hurried me away he had improved his

own spirits no less than Mrs. Gummage's for they were again at their usual flow and he was full

of vivacious conversation as we went along and so he said galey we abandoned this book in your life

tomorrow do we so we agreed I return and our places by the coach are taken you know I there's no

help for it I suppose said steer forth I have almost forgotten that there is anything to do in the

world but to go out tossing on the sea here I wish there was not as long as the novelty should last

said I laughing like enough he returned though there's a sarcastic meaning in that observation

for an amiable piece of innocence like my young friend well I dare say I am a capricious fellow David

I know I am but while the iron is hot I can strike it vigorously too I could pass a reasonably

good examination already as a pilot in these waters I think Mr. Peggy says you're a wonder I

returned a nautical phenomenon a laughed steer forth indeed he does and you know how truly I know

how ardent you are in any pursuit you follow and how easily you can master it and that amazes me

most in you steer forth that you should be contented with such fitful uses of your powers

contented he answered merrily I have never contended except with your freshness my gentle daisy

has to fitfulness I have never learnt the art of binding myself to any of the wheels on which the

axioms of these days are turning round and round axian is a character from Greek mythology who

was punished by spinning eternally on a fiery wheel I missed it somehow in a bad apprenticeship

and now don't care about it you know I have bought a boat down here what an extraordinary

fellow you are steer forth I exclaimed stopping for this was the first I had heard of it when you

may never care to come near the place again I don't know that he returned I have taken a fancy

to the place at all events walking me briskly on I have bought a boat that was for sale a clip

her Mr. Peggy says and so she is and Mr. Peggy will be master of her in my absence now I understand

you steer forth said I exultingly you pretend to have bought it for yourself but you have really

done so to confer a benefit on him I might have known as much at first knowing you my dear kind

steer forth how can I tell you what I think of your generosity tush he answered turning red the less

said the better didn't I know cried I didn't I say there was not a joy or sorrow or any emotion of

such honest hearts that was indifferent to you I I he answered you told me all that they're

let it rest we've said enough afraid of offending him by pursuing the subject when he made so light

of it I only pursued it in my thoughts as we went on at even a quicker pace than before she must

be newly rigged said steer forth and I shall leave litimer behind to see it done that I might

know she is quite complete did I tell you litimer had come down no oh yes came down this morning

with a letter from my mother as our looks met I observed that he was pale even to his lips though

he looked very steadily at me I feared that some difference between him and his mother might have

led to his being in the frame of mind in which I had found him at the solitary fireside I hinted so

oh no he said shaking his head and giving a slight laugh nothing of the sort yes he has come

down that man of mine the same as ever said I the same as ever said steer forth distant and quiet

as the north pole he shall say to the boat being fresh named she's the stormy petrol now what does

Mr. Peggy care for stormy petrels I'll have her christened again by what name I asked the little

Emily as he had continued to look steadily at me I took it as a reminder that he objected to being

extolled for his consideration I could not help showing in my face how much it pleased me but I

said little and he resumed his usual smile and seemed relieved but see here he said looking before

us where the original little Emily comes and that fellow with her a upon my soul he's a true

knight he never leaves her ham was a boat builder in these days having improved a natural ingenuity in

that handicraft until he had become a skilled workman he was in his working dress and looked rugged

enough but manly with all and a very fit protector for the blooming little creature at his side

indeed there was a frankness in his face and honesty and an undisguised show of his pride in her

and his love for her which worked to me the best of good looks I thought as they came towards us

that they were well matched even in that particular she withdrew her hand timidly from his arm as

we stopped to speak to them and blushed as she gave it to steer forth and to me when they passed on

after we had exchanged a few words she did not like to replace that hair but still appearing timid

and constrained walked by herself I thought all this very pretty and engaging and steer force

seemed to think so too as we looked after them fading away in the light of a young moon suddenly

there passed us evidently following them a young woman whose approach we had not observed

but whose face I saw as she went by and thought I had a fate remembrance of she was lightly dressed

looked bold and haggard and flaunting and poor but seemed for the time to have given all that to

the wind which was blowing and to have nothing in her mind but going after them as the dark distant

level absorbing their figures into itself left but itself visible between us and the sea and clouds

her figure disappeared in like manner still no nearer to them than before that is a black shadow

to be following the girl said steer forth standing still what does it mean he spoke in a low

voice that sounded almost strange to me she must have it in her mind to beg of them I think

said I a beggar would be no novelty said steer forth but it is a strange thing that the beggar

should take that shape tonight why I asked for no better reason truly than because I was thinking

he said after a pause of something like it when it came by where the devil did it come from I wonder

from the shadow of this wall I think said I as we emerged upon a road on which a wall abutted

it's gone he returned looking over his shoulder and all it'll go with it now for our dinner

but he looked again over his shoulder towards the sea line glimmering afar off and yet again

and he wondered about it in some broken expressions several times in the short remainder of our walk

and only seemed to forget it when the light of fire and candle shown upon us seated warm and

merry at table litimer was there and had his usual effect upon me when I said to him that I hoped

Mrs. Steerforth and Miss Dardle were well he answered respectfully and of course respectfully

that they were tolerably well he thanked me and had sent their compliments this was all and

yet he seemed to me to say as plainly as a man could say you are very young sir you are exceeding

the young we had almost finished dinner when taking a step or two towards the table from the corner

where he kept watch upon us were rather upon me as I felt he said to his master I beg your

pardon sir Miss Moucher is down here who cried Steerforth much astonished

Miss Moucher sir why one earth does she do here said Steerforth it appears to be her native part

of the country sir she informs me that she makes one of her professional visits here every year sir

I met her in the street this afternoon and she wished to know if she might have the honor

of waiting on you after dinner sir do you know the giant s in question Daisy inquired Steerforth

I was obliged to confess I felt ashamed even of being at this disadvantage before litimer

that Miss Moucher and I were wholly unacquainted then you shall know her said Steerforth

for she is one of the seven wonders of the world when Miss Moucher comes show her in I felt some

curiosity and excitement about this lady especially as Steerforth burst into a fit of laughing when

I referred to her and positively refused to answer any questions of which I made heard the subject

I remained therefore in the state of considerable expectation until the cloth had been removed

some half an hour and we were sitting over our decanter of wine before the fire when the door

opened and litimer with his habitual serenity quite undisturbed announced Miss Moucher

I looked at the doorway and saw nothing I was still looking at the doorway thinking that Miss

Moucher was a long while making her appearance when to my infinite astonishment there came

waddling round a sofa which stood between me and it a Percy dwarf Percy here means fat of about

40 or 45 with a very large head and face a pair of rogish grey eyes and such extremely little arms

that to enable herself to lay a finger archley against the snub nose as she ogled Steerforth

she was obliged to meet the finger halfway and lay her nose against it her chin which was what

is called a double chin was so fat that it entirely swallowed up the strings of her bonnet

bow and all throat she had none waste she had none legs she had none worth mentioning

for though she was more than full size down to where her waist would have been if she had had any

and though she terminated as human beings generally do in a pair of feet she was so short

that she stood at a common size chair as at a table resting a bag she carried on the seat

this lady dressed in an offhand easy style bring her nose and her forefinger together

with the difficulty I have described standing with her head necessarily on one side

and with one of her sharp eyes shut up making an uncommonly knowing face after ogling Steerforth

for a few moments broke into a torrent of words what my flower she pleasantly began shaking her

large head at him you're there are you oh you naughty boy five ashamed what do you do so far

away from home up to mischief I'll be bound oh you're a downy fellow steerforth so you are

and I have another reindeer you'd have been a hundred pound of five now that you wouldn't have

seen me here wouldn't you bless you man alive I'm everywhere I'm here and there and we're not

like the conjurers af crown in the ladies' anchorature talking of anchoratures and talking of ladies

what comfort you are to your blessed mother aint you my dear boy over one of my shoulders and I

don't say which this voucher untied her bonnet at this passage of her discourse through back the

strings and sat down panting on a footstool in front of the fire making a kind of arbor of the

dining table which spread its mahogany shelter above her head oh my stars and what's their names

she went on clapping a hand on each of her little knees and glancing shrewdly at me I'm a

too flabbit that's the fact Steerforth after a flight of stairs it gives me as much trouble to draw

every breath I want as if it was a bucket of water if you saw me looking out of an upper window

you think I was a fine woman wouldn't you I should think that wherever I saw you replied Steerforth

go along you dog do cried the little creature making a whisk at him with the anchorchief with which

she was wiping her face and don't you be impudent but I give you my word and honor I was at

lady mithers' last week there's a woman how she wears a mithers' himself came into the room where

I was waiting for her there's a man how he wears and his wig too for he's had at these 10 years

anyway on at that rate in the complimentary line that I began to think I should be obliged to

ring the bell he's a pleasant wretch but he wants principle what were you doing for lady mithers

as Steerforth that's telling my blessed infant he retorted tapping her nose again screwing

up her face and twinkling her eyes like an imp of supernatural intelligence never you mind

you'd like to know whether I stop her air from falling off or die it or touch up her complexion

or improve her eyebrows wouldn't you and so you shall my darling when I tell you do you know

what my great-grandfather's name was no said Steerforth it was Walker my sweet bet replied

Miss Moucher and he came of a long line of walkers the iron hair all the hookiest dates from

I never beheld anything approaching to Miss Moucher's wink except Miss Moucher's self-possession

she had a wonderful way too when listening to what was said to her or when waiting for an answer

to what she had said herself of pausing with her head cunningly on one side and one I turned up

like a magpie's all together I was lost in amazement and stat staring at her quite oblivious

I am afraid of the laws of politeness she had by this time drawn the chair to her side and was

busily engaged in producing from the bag plunging in her short arm to the shoulder at every dive

a number of small bottles sponges combs brushes bits of flannel little pairs of curling irons

and other instruments which she tumbled in a heap upon the chair from this employment she suddenly

desisted and said to Steerforth much to my confusion who's your friend mr. Copperfield said

Steerforth he wants to know you well then he shall I thought he looked as if he did return Miss

Moucher waddling up to me bag in hand and laughing on me as she came face like a beach standing

on tiptoe to pinch my cheek as I sat quite tempting I'm very fond of peaches happy to make your

acquaintance mr. Copperfield I'm sure I said that I congratulated myself on having the honor to

make hers and that the happiness was mutual oh my goodness how polite we are exclaimed Miss

Moucher making a preposterous attempt to cover her large face with her morsel of a hand

wow world of geminine spinach is though I did this was addressed confidentially to both of us as

the morsel of a hand came away from the face and buried itself arm and all in the bag again

what do you mean Miss Moucher said Steerforth what a refreshing set of humbugs we are to be sure

right we my sweet child replied that morsel of a woman feeling in the bag with her head on one

side in her eye in the air look here taking something out scraps of the Russian prince's nails

prince alphabet turned topsy-turvy I call him for his names got all the letters in an

achy-pagody the Russian prince is a client of yours is he said steer forth I believe you by pet

replied Miss Moucher I keep his nails in order for him twice a week fingers and toes

he pays well I suppose said steer forth pays as he speaks my dear child through the nose

replied Miss Moucher none of your clothes shavers the prince ain't you'd say so if you saw his

moustacheos read by nature black by art by your art of course said steer forth Miss Moucher winked

a scent meaning she dies the prince's hair and Miss Moucher is clearly a hairdresser

forced to send for me could know bit the climate affected his die it did very well in Russia

but it was no go here you never saw such a rusty prince in all your born days as he was like old

iron is that why you called him a humbug just now inquired steer forth oh you're a broth of a boy

ain't you return Miss Moucher shaking her head violently I said what a set of humbugs we were

in general and I showed you the scraps of the prince's nails to prove it the prince's nails

do more for me in private families of the gentile sort than all my talents put together I always

carry him about they're the best introduction if Miss Moucher cuts the prince's nails she must be

all right I give him away to the young ladies they put him in albums I believe upon my life

the old social system as the men call it when they make speeches in parliament it's a system of

princes nails said this least of women trying to fold her short arms and nodding her large head

steer forth laughed hardly and I laugh too Miss Moucher continuing all the time to shake her head

which was very much on one side and to look into the air with one eye and to wink with the other

well well well she said smiting her small knees and rising this is not business come steer forth

let's explore the polar regions and have it over she then selected two or three of the little

instruments and a little bottle and asked my surprise if the table would bear on steer forth

replying in the affirmative she pushed a chair against it and begging the assistance of my hand

mounted up pretty nimbly to the top as if it were a stage if they in the review saw my ankles

she said when she was safely elevated say so and I'll go home and destroy myself

I did not said steer forth I did not said I well then cried Miss Moucher all consent to live

now ducky ducky ducky come to Mrs Bond and be killed this was an invitation to steer forth to

place himself under her hands who accordingly sat himself down with his back to the table and

his laughing face towards me and submitted his head to her inspection evidently for no other

purpose than our entertainment to see Miss Moucher standing over him looking at his rich

profusion of brown hair through a large round magnifying glass which she took out of her pocket

was a most amazing spectacle you're a pretty fellow said Miss Moucher after a brief inspection

you'd be as bold as a friar on the top of your head in 12 months but for me just to have a

minute my young friend and we'll give you a polish in that she'll keep your curls on for the next

10 years with this she tilted some of the contents of the little bottle onto one of the little

bits of flannel and again imparting some of the virtues of that preparation to one of the little

brushes began rubbing and scraping away with both on the crown of steer forth's head in the

busiest manner I ever witnessed talking all the time there's Charlie Piegrave the toaks's son

she said you know Charlie peeping round at his face a little said steer forth what a man he is

there's a whisker as to Charlie's legs if they were only a pair which they ain't they defy

competition what do you believe he tried to do without me in the life guards too mad said steer

forth it looks like it however mad or say he tried return Miss Moucher what does he do but

lo and behold you he goes into a perfiber shopping wants to buy a bottle of the Madagascar liquid

Charlie does said steer forth Charlie does but they haven't got any of the Madagascar

what is it something to drink asked steer forth to drink return Miss Moucher stopping to slap

his cheek to doctor his own moustacheos with you know there was a woman in the shop

elderly female quite a Griffin who had never heard of it by name begging pardon sir said the

Griffin to Charlie it's not not rude is it rude said Charlie to the Griffin what the

unmentionable to ears polite do you think I want with rouge no offense sir said the Griffin

we have asked for by so many names I thought it might be now that my child continued Miss Moucher

rubbing all the time as busily as ever is another instance of the refreshing humbug I was

speaking of I do something in that way myself perhaps a good deal perhaps a little sharp

some word my dear boy never might in what way do you mean in the rouge way said steer forth put

this in that together my tender pupil return the wary moucher touching her nose work it by the

rule of secrets and all trades and the product will give you the desired result I say I do a little

in that way myself one dowager she calls it lip salve another she calls it gloves another she

calls it tucker edging another she calls it a fan I call it whatever they call it I supply it

for him but we keep up to trick so to one another and make believe with such a face that they

assume think of laying on before a whole drawing room as before me and when I wait upon him they'll

say to me sometimes with it on thick and no mistake how am I looking Moucher am I pale isn't that

refreshing my young friend because she's saying that people want makeup and things to look

better but they pretend they're not wearing it and mishmoucher goes along with it I never did in

my days behold anything like mishmoucher as she stood upon the table intensely enjoying this

refreshment rubbing busily at steer forth's head and winking at me over it ah she said such things

they're not much in demand hereabouts that sets me off again I haven't seen a pretty woman since

I've been here Demi no said steer forth not the ghost of one replied mishmoucher we could

show her the substance of what I think said steer forth addressing his eyes to mine a daisy yes indeed

said I aha cried the little creature glancing sharply at my face and then peeping around at

steer force the first exclamation sound like a question put to both of us and the second like a

question put to steer forth only she seemed to have found no answer to either but continued to

rub with her head on one side and her eye turned up as if she were looking for an answer in the air

and were confident of its appearing presently a sister of yours Mr. Copperfield she cried after

a pause and still keeping the same look out I I no said steer forth before I could reply nothing

of that sort on the contrary Mr. Copperfield used or I am much mistaken to have a great admiration

for her why hasn't he now returned mishmoucher is he fickle oh for shame did he sip every flower and

change every hour until Polly his passion required is her name Polly the elephant's suddenness with

which she pounced upon me with this question and a searching look quite disconcerted me for a moment

no mishmoucher I replied her name is Emily aha she cried exactly as before

oh well I am Mr. Copperfield ain't time for the tile her tone and look implied something that was

not agreeable to me in connection with the subject so I said in a graver manner than any of us had

yet assumed she is as virtuous as she is pretty she is engaged to be married to a most worthy

and deserving man in her own station of life I esteem her for her good sense as much as I admire her

for her good looks well said cried steer forth here here here now I'll quench the curiosity of

this little fatima my dear daisy by leaving her nothing to guess at she is at present apprentice

mishmoucher or article or whatever it may be to Omar and Joram Haberdashire's milleners and so

forth in this town do you observe Omar and Joram the promise of which my friend has spoken is made

and entered into with her cousin Christian name ham surname pegady occupation boat builder also

of this town she lives with a relative Christian name unknown surname pegady occupation seafaring

also of this town she is the prettiest and most engaging little fairy in the world I admire her as

my friend does exceedingly if it were not that I might appear to disparage her intended which I

know my friend would not like I would add that to me she seems to be throwing herself away

that I am sure she might do better and that I swear she was born to be a lady

mishmoucher listen to these words which were very slowly and distinctly spoken with her head on

one side and her eye in the air as if she were still looking for that answer when he ceased she became

brisk again in an instant and rattled away with surprising volubility oh and that's all about it

is it she exclaimed trimming his whiskers with a little restless pair of scissors that went glancing

around his head in all directions very well very well quite a long story ought to end and they

lived happily ever afterwards aren't it ah what's that game at four fits I love my love with an

e because she's enticing I hate her with an e because she's engaged I took her to the sign of

the exquisite and treated her with an allotment her name's Emily and she lives in the east

Mr. Copperfield ain't time volatile merely looking at me with extravagant slimes and not waiting for

any reply she continued without drawing breath there if ever any scape grace was trimmed and touched

up to perfection you are steer forth if I understand any nodal in the world I understand yours

do you hear me when I tell you that my darlin I understand yours peeping down into his face now you

may missle jemy as we say a corp and if Mr. Copperfield will take the chair all operate on him

what do you say daisy inquired steer forth laughing and resigning his seat will you be improved

thank you mismatched not this evening don't say so return the little woman looking at me with the

aspect of a connoisseur a little bit more eyebrow thank you I returned some other time

haven't carried half a quarter of an inch towards a temple said Miss Moucher we can do it in a

fortnight no I thank you not at present go in for a tip she urged no let's get the scaffolding up

them for a pair of whiskers come I could not help blushing as they declined for I felt we were on

my weak point now meaning he doesn't have any whiskers yet but Miss Moucher finding that I was not

at present disposed for any decoration within the range of her art and that I was for the time being

proof against the blandishments of the small bottle which she held up before one eye to enforce

her persuasions said we would make a beginning on an early day and requested the aid of my hand

to descend from her elevated station thus assisted she skipped down with much agility and began to

tie her double chin into her bonnet the fee said steer-fourth is five bob replied Miss Moucher

and dirt teap my chicken ain't I volatile Mr. Cuppa field I replied politely not at all but I

thought she was rather so when she tossed up his two half crowns like a goblin pymin caught them

dropped them in her pocket and gave it a loud slap that's the till observed Miss Moucher standing

at the chair again and replacing in her bag a miscellaneous collection of little objects she had

emptied out of it have I got all my traps it seems so it won't do to be like long net beadwood

when they took him to church to marry him to somebody as he says and left the bride behind a wicked

rascal Ned but droll now I know I'm going to break your arts but I am forced to leave you you

must call up all your fortitude and try to bear it goodbye Mr. Cuppa field take care of yourself

jockey of Norfolk how I have been rattling on it's all the fault of you two wretches I forgive you

Bob swore as the Englishman said for good night when he first learnt French and followed so

like English Bob swore my ducks French for good evening is both swore so she sang it in a very

English accent as Bob swore with the bag sling over her arm and rattling as she waddled away she

waddled to the door where she stopped to inquire if you should leave us a lock of her hair

hey I volatile she added as a commentary on this offer and with her finger on her nose departed

steer forth laugh to that degree that it was impossible for me to help laughing too

though I am not sure I should have done so but for this inducement when we had had our laugh

quite out which was after some time he told me that Miss Moucher had quite an extensive connection

and made herself useful to a variety of people in a variety of ways some people trifled with her

as a mere oddity he said but she was as strewdly and sharply observant as anyone he knew

and as long headed as she was short armed he told me that what she had said of being here and

there and everywhere was true enough for she made little darts into the provinces and seemed

to pick up customers everywhere and to know everybody I asked him what her disposition was whether

it was at all mischievous or if her sympathies were generally on the right side of things but not

succeeding in attracting his attention to these questions after two or three attempts I for

bore or forgot to repeat them he told me instead with much rapidity a good deal about her skill

and her profits and about her being a scientific cupper if I should ever have occasion for her

service in that capacity she was the principal theme of our conversation during the evening and

when we parted for the night steer forth called after me over the banisters bob swore as I went

downstairs I was surprised when I came to Mr. Barkas's house to find ham walking up and down

in front of it and still more surprised to learn from him that little Emily was inside I naturally

inquired why he was not there too instead of pacing the streets by himself while you see master

Davie he rejoined in a hesitating manner Emily she's talking to someone in here I should have

thought said I smiling that that was a reason for you're being in here to ham well master Davie

in a general way so it would be he returned but looking at her master Davie lowering his voice

and speaking very gravely it's a young woman sir a young woman that Emily knows once and

don't opt to know no more meaning she shouldn't know her now when I heard these words a light began

to fall upon the figure I had seen following them some hours ago it's a poor war a master Davie

said ham meaning it's a poor woman as is trod under foot by all the town up street and down street

the mold of the church are don't hold any that the folk shrink away from more okay so this woman

is some kind of pariah possibly a prostitute did I see her tonight ham on the sand after we met you

keeping us in sight said ham it's like you did master Davie not that I know then

she was there sir but along of her creep and soon afterwards under Emily's little winter

when she see light come and whisper in Emily Emily for Christ's sake have a woman's heart towards

me I was once like you those with solemn words master Davie for to hear they were indeed ham

what did Emily do says Emily Martha is that you oh Martha can it be you

for they had sat at work together many a day at Mr. Omer's I recollect her now cried I recalling

one of the two girls I had seen when I first went there I recollect her quite well

Martha Endel said ham two or three year older than Emily but was at the school with her

I never heard her name said I I didn't mean to interrupt you for the matter of that master

Davie replied ham all's told a most in them words Emily Emily for Christ's sake have a woman's

heart toward me I was once like you she wanted to speak to Emily Emily couldn't speak to her there

for her loving uncle was come home and he wouldn't know master Davie said ham with great earnestness

he couldn't con nature tenderhearted as he is same two together side by side for all the treasures

that's wrecked in the sea I felt how true this was I knew it on the instant quite as well as ham

so Emily writes and pencil on a bit of paper he pursued and gives it to her out of winter to

bring here show that she says to my aunt Mrs. Burgess and she'll set you down by her fire for

the love of me till uncle is gone out and I can come by and by she tells me would I tell you

master Davie and ask me to bring her what can I do she don't ought to know any such but I can't

deny her when the tears is on her face he put his hand into the breast of his shaggy jacket and

took out with great care a pretty little purse and if I could deny her when the tears was on her

face master Davie said ham tenderly adjusting it on the rough palm of his hand how could I deny her

when she give me this to carry for her no one what she brought it for such a toy as it is said ham

thoughtfully looking on it with such a little money in it Emily my dear I shook him warmly by the

hand when he had put it away again for that was more satisfactory to me than saying anything and

we walked up and down for a minute or two in silence the door opened then and pegady appeared

beckoning to ham to come in I would have kept away but she came after me and treating me to come

into even then I would have avoided the room where they all were but for its being the neat

child kitchen I have mentioned more than once the door opening immediately into it I found myself

among them before I considered whether I was going the girl the same I had seen upon the sands

was near the fire she was sitting on the ground with her head and one arm lying on a chair I

fancied from the disposition of her figure that Emily had but newly risen from the chair and that

the forlorn head might perhaps have been lying on her lap I saw but little of the girl's face

over which her hair fell loose and scattered as if she had been disordering it with her own hands

but I saw that she was young and of a fair complexion pegady had been crying so had little Emily

not a word was spoken when we first went in and the Dutch clock by the dressers seemed in the

silence to tick twice as loud as usual Emily spoke first Martha wants she said to ham to go to

London why to London returned ham he stood between them looking on the prostrate girl with a mixture

of compassion for her and of jealousy of her holding any companionship with her who he loved so

well which I have always remembered distinctly they both spoke as if she were ill in a soft suppressed

tone that was plainly heard although it hardly rose above a whisper but are there then here set a

third voice allowed Martha's though she did not move no one knows me there everybody knows me here

what will she do there inquired ham she lifted up her head and looked darkly rounded him for a moment

then laid it down again and curved her right arm about her neck as a woman in a fever or in an

agony of pain from a shot might twist herself she will try to do well said little Emily you don't

know what she has said to us does he do they and pegady shook her head compassionately

all try said Martha if you help me away I never can do worse than I have done here I may do better

oh with a dreadful shiver take me out of these streets where the whole town knows me from a child

as Emily held out her hand to ham I saw him put in it a little canvas back she took it as if she

thought it were her purse and made a step or two forward but finding her mistake came back to

where he had retired near me and showed it to him he saw your namely I could hear him say

I haven't not in the world to ain't your'd my dear the aim of no delight to me except for you

so he's giving her way more money to give to Martha than she had in her little purse he's giving

her his own money the tears rose freshly in her eyes but she turned away and went to Martha

what she gave her I don't know I saw her stooping over her and putting money in her bosom

she whispered something as she asked was that enough more than enough the other said

and took her hand and kissed it then Martha arose and gathering her shawl about her covering

her face with it and weeping aloud went slowly to the door she stopped a moment before going out

as if she would have uttered something or turned back but no word passed her lips making the same

low dreary wretched moaning in her shawl she went away as the door closed little Emily looked

at us three in a hurried manner and then hit her face in her hands and fell to sobbing

don't Emily said ham tapping her gently on the shoulder don't my dear you don't ought to cry so

pray oh ham she exclaimed still weeping pitifully I am not so good a girl as I ought to be

I know I have not the thankful heart sometimes I ought to have yes yes you have I'm sure

said ham no no no cried little Emily sobbing and shaking her head I am not as good a girl as I ought

to be not near not near and still she cried as if her heart would break I try your love too much

I know I do she sobbed I'm often crossed to you and changeable with you when I ought to be far

different you are never so to me why am I ever so to you when I should think of nothing but how

to be grateful and to make you happy you always make me so said ham my dear I am happy in the

sight of you I am happy all day long in the thoughts of you oh that's not enough she cried

that is because you are good not because I am oh my dear it might have been a better fortune for

you if you had been fond of someone else of someone steadier and much happier than me who was all

bound up in you and never vain and changeable like me poor little tender are said ham in a low

voice mafer has over sat her all together please aunt sobbed Emily come here and let me name

my head upon you I am very miserable tonight aunt oh I am not as good a girl as I ought to be I am

not I know peggy had hastened to the chair before the fire Emily with her arms around her neck

kneeled by her looking up most earnestly into her face oh pray and try to help me ham dear try

to help me mr david for the sake of old times do please try to help me I want to be a better

girl than I am I want to feel a hundred times more thankful than I do I want to feel more

what a blessed thing it is to be the wife of a good man and to lead a peaceful life

oh me oh me oh my heart my heart she dropped her face on my old nurse's breast and

ceasing this supplication which in its agony and grief was half a woman's half a child's

as all her manner was being in that more natural and better suited to her beauty as I thought

than any other manner could have been wept silently while my old nurse hushed her like an infant

she got calmer by degrees and then we soothed her now talking encouragingly and now

gesting a little with her until she began to raise her head and speak to us so we got on until

she was able to smile and then to laugh and then to sit up half ashamed while peggy recalled

her stray ringlets dried her eyes and made her need again lest her uncle should wonder when she

got home why his darling had been crying I saw her do that night what I had never seen her do before

I saw her innocently kiss her chosen husband on the cheek and creep close to his bluff form

as if it were her best support when they went away together in the waning moonlight and I looked

after them comparing their departure in my mind with Martha's I saw that she held his arm with both

her hands and still kept close to him thank you so much for listening I'd love to know what you

thought of the chapters is there anything you'd like me to clarify did something particularly

interest you please go to my website faithkmore.com click on contact and send me your questions and

thoughts or you can click on the link in the show notes to contact me I'll feature one or two of

your entries at the start of the next episode speaking of links don't forget to take a look at

the other links in the show notes you can learn more about me check out our merch store or become

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you