"Dear death" by Alexis M Levine

A poem inspired by Emily Dickinson

Dear death

How can I stay

when you,

more than life,

make me feel

seen?

They call you cruel,

but I have seen

the gentleness in your cruelty—

the mercy in your ending,

the way you unburden bones

and hush the screaming thoughts

no one else could hear.

What if the ones who scream

are not cruel,

but trying to anchor me

to a world they still believe

can bloom?

And I—

have I given everything a chance?

Or have I fallen

so in love with the idea

of not hurting

that I’ve forgotten

what healing might feel like?

Do not rush.

But when you come home,

come softly.

Let me fall

like a candle into darkness,

like a secret

finally heard.

But even now,

as I write your name

with steady hands,

something inside me trembles.

What if I’m wrong?

What if your silence

is not peace,

but absence?

What if the ache I carry

is not a curse,

but a call—

a sign that I was meant

to stay,

to fight,

to feel

just a little more?

What if the ones who scream

are not cruel,

but trying to anchor me

to a world they still believe

can bloom?

And I—

have I given everything a chance?

Or have I fallen

so in love with the idea

of not hurting

that I’ve forgotten

what healing might feel like?

- Alexis M Levine

More from Alexis M Levine ↓

• @alexandrathepoett on Instagram